The Wonder of Presence: And the Way of Meditative Inquiry

by Toni Packer

In this compelling collection of talks, interviews, and letters, Toni Packer provides a comprehensive overview of the path of meditative inquiry—a nondenominational approach to spiritual growth that emphasizes the direct experience of the present moment. "The immense challenge for each one of us," Packer writes, "is can we live our lives, at least for moments at a time, in the wonder of presence that is the creative source of everything?" She shows how we can transform fear, anger, guilt, and attachment to our self-image through simple, direct awareness. Having recently lost her husband of fifty years, Packer also speaks with candor and tenderness about the convulsions of a grieving heart and the peace that undivided awareness can bring.

Toni Packer began studying Zen in 1967 with Roshi Philip Kapleau (author of The Three Pillars of Zen ) at the Rochester Zen Center and was eventually named his successor. Seeing the potentially destructive effects of relying too much on tradition, however, she did not accept the position. Packer is strongly influenced by the teachings of Krishnamurti and has turned away from the traditional forms and hierarchies that are prevalent in many Buddhist schools. Her approach is appealing to many Westerners who find institutionalized practices such as chanting, bowing, and burning incense to be alien and unnecessary.

Genres: Spirituality, Buddhism, Zen, Nonfiction, Meditation

144 pages, Paperback

First published April 16, 2002

Reviews

[Fergus, Weaver of Autistic Webs · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this when I was still very much in awe of Toni's own presence, having known her in the eighties; and I think I probably ordered it after seeing note taken of it in her newsletter from upstate New York.

“Presence," in the mind of Jiddu Krishnamurti, a mystic who had broadened Toni's religious perspective, is a sudden onrush of charismatic inner renewal, or to us Christians the workings of the Spirit.

That sense of presence, as it developed over the next thirty-odd years of private study, eventually grounded me and has now started to push out my adolescent temperament abnormalities - my youthful drift toward bipolar disorder and Asperger's - from my mind.

And I am now left with basic, bargain-basement reality. Could it be kensho?

Well, you can call it healing too (though doctors would argue that that simply arises from my adherence to my pharmaceutical regimen). Toni would, of course, smile gently at that. She knew the Spirit lives.

She knew it when she first met me, for odd ducks in the world's eyes like me were grist for the mill of the Dharma for her. And the same Dharma made me see my own religion - Christianity - with my Inner Eye. For the Dharma in practice is seeing the world as a little child.

(Except, if she ever spoke that "D" word, she'd joke that she would have to wash out her mouth with soap. No, Toni wanted to "de-mythologize" Buddhism in the manner that Rudolf Bultmann had done for the Reformed Church.)

But, unlike Bultmann, but like Shunryu Suzuki, she knew our day dreams - our mind weeds - gave the best nourishment for the beginning Zen student! And being bipolar, my teeming brain back fed back into my meditations. (That's OK, she said, if you sit quietly with them.)

I'll tell you something else - Toni healed me with her quiet faith in me. The docs are wrong to that extent, though I think my shrink at that time changed to a more empathetic approach, seeing me trust him as I began to trust myself.

Trust breeds trust. She healed my hurting Catholicism, too. If your mind is market garden ordinary like that, you're there already too.

So for Toni: without your faith in me and in the power of simply being here -

I would never have stuck to my pill routine -

And would never have ended up so well.

So, thanks, Toni.

All who knew you LOVE you as I do, even though you're now gone somewhere better.

[Steve · Rating 5 out of 5]

The kinder, gentler Krishnamurti....
Fantastic.
Just this.

[Clara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some books you read mostly for purposes of 'continuing education.' That's a category into which I put many of the books I read these days about spiritual thought and practice. They usually don't surprise you with great insights--although there's always the happy exception that comes from a serendipitous combination of the reader being ready at this particular moment to hear this particular message--but they're good reminders of the path you're on or the one you aspire to. Toni Packer's The Wonder of Presence was one of those books for me: a useful reminder.

Over the years Packer's teaching has moved from this structured approach of Zen Buddhism in which she was trained to a more free-form style, albeit still Buddhist, of meditative inquiry. She's known in the spiritual community for her refusal to instruct people in the techniques of meditation. She asks her students simple to be aware, to be at one with what is going on. The book includes talks that Packer has given or articles she has written on and around this topic of awareness. Deep awareness, she offers, begins with inquiry, with looking deeply into the conditioned responses that come up whether we're on or off the cushion:

"Meditation is coming into intimate touch with our habitual reactions of fear, desire, anger, tenderness, or whatever, discovering them freshly, abstaining from automatically judging them good or bad, right or wrong. Beginning to realize that every incident, every encounter with another person, is instantly interpreted according to ingrained prejudices. There is constant comparing ourselves and others to ideal standards of good and bad and right and wrong, that have been internalized long ago. At a moment of insight there arises a new sense of wondering: 'Why do we live bogged down in automatic reactions? Is it the only way of relating in this world?'...Genuine interest has a way of kindling energy to illuminate automatic reactions--for example, immediately getting hurt because of a critical remark, and instantly defending or paying back, and then mulling the whole affair over and over--which are alienating and cause suffering for us all...[Can] we detect them them and see them in a new light of understanding? Is there dawning realization that fantasies take over the bodymind, creating desire and fear time and time again?"

These are reminders that I welcome.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Her premise states" In our daily life is so much living in brain-made stories and so little waking in plain unadulterated presence." The brain may feel comfortable with labels, but she recommends we eliminate the label and look more closely at the body's sensations. Labels prevent looking and inquire. Also, she states that" meditation inquiry is not obtaining answers but wondering patiently without knowing. Toni teaches a very expansive, spacious approach to our sitting.

[Christopher · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I didn’t know of Toni Packer before I began my seven day retreat at Springwater, I had the privilege of reading and experiencing her words during my stay. What appeared to me at first to be a typical rural homestead literally blossomed into a magic place. I hope to return here one day and plan to read some of her other books in between. While I’ve practiced meditation on one form or another for a decade, I’m still not quite there with Toni’s approach and “no-method” of open awareness.

[Dana Jerman · Rating 4 out of 5]

“No one can teach anyone the truth… “

Very digestible, although breaking up the beauty of some of these great thoughts with some further punctuation would be ideal.

Other favorites:

“Emptiness is not a mysterious concept.”

“Immediate seeing is the energy of right action.”

“Can we let the incomprehensible percolate in wonderment?”

[Maughn Gregory · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was a gift from a fellow seeker, and though I found the author's voice at times mildly irritating, I found many, penetrating insights here about the nature of meditative inquiry.

[Mariana · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to become more aware.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

love toni packer ... very insightful and down to earth wisdom for my feeble attempt at staying present to life ... one moment at a time.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite zen reads. I always read it before I deliver a baby.