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The Angry Therapist: A No BS Guide to Finding and Living Your Own Truth
Tackling relationships, career, and family issues, John Kim, LMFT, thinks of himself as a life-style designer, not a therapist. His radical new approach, that he sometimes calls self-help in a shot glass is easy, real, and to the point. He helps people make changes to their lives so that personal growth happens organically, just by living.
Let s face it, therapy is a luxury. Few of us have the time or money to devote to going to an office every week. With anecdotes illustrating principles in action (in relatable and sometimes irreverent fashion) and stand-alone practices and exercises, Kim gives readers the tools and directions to focus on what's right with them instead of what's wrong.
When John Kim was going through the end of a relationship, he began blogging as The Angry Therapist, documenting his personal journey post-divorce. Traditional therapists avoid transparency, but Kim preferred the language of "me too" as opposed to "you should." He blogged about his own shortcomings, revelations, views on relationships, and the world. He spoke a different therapeutic language open, raw, and at times subversive and people responded. The Angry Therapist blog, that inspired this book, has been featured in The Atlantic Monthly and on NPR."
Let s face it, therapy is a luxury. Few of us have the time or money to devote to going to an office every week. With anecdotes illustrating principles in action (in relatable and sometimes irreverent fashion) and stand-alone practices and exercises, Kim gives readers the tools and directions to focus on what's right with them instead of what's wrong.
When John Kim was going through the end of a relationship, he began blogging as The Angry Therapist, documenting his personal journey post-divorce. Traditional therapists avoid transparency, but Kim preferred the language of "me too" as opposed to "you should." He blogged about his own shortcomings, revelations, views on relationships, and the world. He spoke a different therapeutic language open, raw, and at times subversive and people responded. The Angry Therapist blog, that inspired this book, has been featured in The Atlantic Monthly and on NPR."
168 pages, Paperback
First published April 18, 2017
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1034 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
April 17, 2017
With the negativity associated with anger, a question remained: can an angry therapist really help anyone at all? “The Angry Therapist: A No BS Guide to Finding and Living Your Own Truth” is written by John Kim, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, CA. In the introduction Kim compared self-help books to bacon: they were fat, slippery, greasy, and easy to forget. He hopes readers will find his book a positive informative change from the self-help genre often represented.
In his 30’s, John Kim and his wife were pursuing careers in the entertainment industry. Kim also helped turn his parent’s Korean restaurant into a Hollywood night spot frequented by A-list celebrities. Still, he and his wife separated and divorced. During this time, while writing/blogging for therapeutic reasons, Kim realized he truly enjoyed helping others--and completed a MA in Psychology.
Through Kim’s 6 year employment at a facility for disadvantaged youth, he saw that the majority of students had no relationships with a father figure that is necessary for healthy development. Kim became their role model/father figure. The boys were challenging and aggressive; the girls wanted his attention and didn’t understand boundaries: viewing him as a father or sexual figure, or both.
Following the Korean cultural norm, Kim’s father had been a workaholic. A very aloof man, he hadn’t ever taken him to a sporting event, or had a meaningful conversation offering fatherly advice or wisdom—he was also an alcoholic. Kim vowed he would be a good father for his own child someday.
The “JK Method” that defined his therapeutic community, stressed that changes must not be like a fad diet or temporary New Year’s Resolutions. Kim illustrates that life spaces are “containers” that must be built and maintained in various levels and areas. Growth must be a daily practice for it to be sustainable, transparency also fosters a necessary trust in regards to truthful living. Aside from occasional profanity, a longer autobiographical profile would have fostered greater interest and transparency. Kim’s story, quotes, and suggestions represent an original, sincere, and authentic approach for motivational change and development. Kim is to be commended for forming an accessible online therapeutic community. Many thanks to Parallax Press with NetGalley for the direct digital copy for purpose of review.
In his 30’s, John Kim and his wife were pursuing careers in the entertainment industry. Kim also helped turn his parent’s Korean restaurant into a Hollywood night spot frequented by A-list celebrities. Still, he and his wife separated and divorced. During this time, while writing/blogging for therapeutic reasons, Kim realized he truly enjoyed helping others--and completed a MA in Psychology.
Through Kim’s 6 year employment at a facility for disadvantaged youth, he saw that the majority of students had no relationships with a father figure that is necessary for healthy development. Kim became their role model/father figure. The boys were challenging and aggressive; the girls wanted his attention and didn’t understand boundaries: viewing him as a father or sexual figure, or both.
Following the Korean cultural norm, Kim’s father had been a workaholic. A very aloof man, he hadn’t ever taken him to a sporting event, or had a meaningful conversation offering fatherly advice or wisdom—he was also an alcoholic. Kim vowed he would be a good father for his own child someday.
The “JK Method” that defined his therapeutic community, stressed that changes must not be like a fad diet or temporary New Year’s Resolutions. Kim illustrates that life spaces are “containers” that must be built and maintained in various levels and areas. Growth must be a daily practice for it to be sustainable, transparency also fosters a necessary trust in regards to truthful living. Aside from occasional profanity, a longer autobiographical profile would have fostered greater interest and transparency. Kim’s story, quotes, and suggestions represent an original, sincere, and authentic approach for motivational change and development. Kim is to be commended for forming an accessible online therapeutic community. Many thanks to Parallax Press with NetGalley for the direct digital copy for purpose of review.
March 12, 2017
The description of this book appealed to me a lot - “A no BS guide to finding and living your own truth”. There is nothing else for me to add to that description. This book is all that and more.
While reading the book, the major thing that endeared me to John was his transparency and openness about his story. It is weird but I felt safe considering how to implement his self-help strategies. I reckon it is because he gives a lot of examples from his life that are relatable.
At the end of each chapter, he provides practices for the reader to undertake. Don’t worry, they are short and introspective. It may be hard to initially do them, but they get easier with each chapter.
It is such a short and powerful book that is instrumental to helping you accept yourself and then embark on changes you want to implement in your life.
Rating: 4.5/5
Favourite Quote: “The highest currency you’ll ever have is self awareness. Without it, it’s impossible to know what you need to change.”
While reading the book, the major thing that endeared me to John was his transparency and openness about his story. It is weird but I felt safe considering how to implement his self-help strategies. I reckon it is because he gives a lot of examples from his life that are relatable.
At the end of each chapter, he provides practices for the reader to undertake. Don’t worry, they are short and introspective. It may be hard to initially do them, but they get easier with each chapter.
It is such a short and powerful book that is instrumental to helping you accept yourself and then embark on changes you want to implement in your life.
Rating: 4.5/5
Favourite Quote: “The highest currency you’ll ever have is self awareness. Without it, it’s impossible to know what you need to change.”
December 2, 2016
An interesting new version of therapy and self-help book. I have never read the blog where this book originates, but I'm going to do it as soon as possible because as a psychotherapist myself, I think that there is no therapy that works for everybody without constant adjusting, so it's fine to get some new lines to handle stuff.
Una nuova versione della terapia e dei libri di auto aiuto. Non ho mai letto il blog da cui origina questo libro, ma lo faró quanto prima, anche perché come psicoterapeuta sono ben consapevole del fatto che nessuna terapia vada bene per tutti e che tutte necessitano di essere ritagliate sul cliente, quindi mi sembra anche il caso di introdurre nuovi parametri di tanto in tanto.
THANKS TO NETGALLEY FOR THE PREVIEW!
Una nuova versione della terapia e dei libri di auto aiuto. Non ho mai letto il blog da cui origina questo libro, ma lo faró quanto prima, anche perché come psicoterapeuta sono ben consapevole del fatto che nessuna terapia vada bene per tutti e che tutte necessitano di essere ritagliate sul cliente, quindi mi sembra anche il caso di introdurre nuovi parametri di tanto in tanto.
THANKS TO NETGALLEY FOR THE PREVIEW!
May 8, 2017
Aside from some interesting metaphors, there wasn't really anything new here. (Caveat: I'm a therapist.) This might be a good book for someone who really hasn't done the whole introspection thing at all. Otherwise it's very basic stuff, dressed up in a vaguely CrossFit-ish jargon (not surprising, given that the author is a big fan). If you've been reading and thinking about mental health for at least a little bit already, I don't think you'll get much out of this.
August 31, 2017
I won this on a Goodreads giveaway and was amused by the concept. I wasn't familiar with John Kim prior to getting this book but found his approach to be refreshing after years of reading dry, ineffective self help books. He makes it sound like a memoir at times, as he includes his own journey through failed attempts at making peace with himself. I can buy in to his advice better knowing he is just like me. If he can do it then so can I.
I like the casual tone of the book. He has a bit of a love for the "f" word but I think that makes him more human. I think it's necessary to allow yourself to blow off some steam with colorful language every now and then. (As long as you aren't shouting it AT someone.)
I started following his Facebook page and have been using some of the tips from this book. There are useful suggestions for finding the way back to our true self. It feels like a realistic approach. I am the type of person that likes to have instructions for doing things so this is perfect for me!
I like the casual tone of the book. He has a bit of a love for the "f" word but I think that makes him more human. I think it's necessary to allow yourself to blow off some steam with colorful language every now and then. (As long as you aren't shouting it AT someone.)
I started following his Facebook page and have been using some of the tips from this book. There are useful suggestions for finding the way back to our true self. It feels like a realistic approach. I am the type of person that likes to have instructions for doing things so this is perfect for me!
June 10, 2017
A really good book, highly recommended
February 21, 2022
I love that this book was concise, yet didn’t lack any personal anecdotes or scientific research.
May 8, 2017
I liked the premise of this being a "No BS Guide", an innovative approach to the traditional style of therapy. It promised to be real, to the point and easy. It certainly delivered on those aspects.
Following his divorce, former screenwriter turned therapist John Kim started blogging as 'The Angry Therapist' reflecting on his "F***ng Feelings". His blog evolved into an online life coaching community. What makes Kim's methods stand out from the standard therapist's/psychologist's etc. is the fact that he is transparent, i.e. he actually shares personal stories and feelings with clients. I found that immensely refreshing, and some of Kim's background and experience that he divulges throughout the book were really interesting and probably the highlights of the book for me. The subject of transparency goes against everything I was taught during my training, but I believe Kim is onto something here.
Some of his other ideas/approaches (the container, pseudo self versus solid etc.) you may well have come across before if you have an interest in psychology, mental health or self-help. Kim's no-nonsense style makes the book easy to read and follow, and it is very user-friendly with its helpful exercises and summaries. On a personal level, I got the most out of his ideas about non-negotiables. Need to work on those...
Overall, this is a useful guide if you're looking to make effective changes in your life and it provides readers with some helpful strategies in a straightforward way, it really is a no BS guide.
I received an ARC via NetGalley.
Following his divorce, former screenwriter turned therapist John Kim started blogging as 'The Angry Therapist' reflecting on his "F***ng Feelings". His blog evolved into an online life coaching community. What makes Kim's methods stand out from the standard therapist's/psychologist's etc. is the fact that he is transparent, i.e. he actually shares personal stories and feelings with clients. I found that immensely refreshing, and some of Kim's background and experience that he divulges throughout the book were really interesting and probably the highlights of the book for me. The subject of transparency goes against everything I was taught during my training, but I believe Kim is onto something here.
Some of his other ideas/approaches (the container, pseudo self versus solid etc.) you may well have come across before if you have an interest in psychology, mental health or self-help. Kim's no-nonsense style makes the book easy to read and follow, and it is very user-friendly with its helpful exercises and summaries. On a personal level, I got the most out of his ideas about non-negotiables. Need to work on those...
Overall, this is a useful guide if you're looking to make effective changes in your life and it provides readers with some helpful strategies in a straightforward way, it really is a no BS guide.
I received an ARC via NetGalley.
February 13, 2022
One of the top ten self help books that graces my library for distribution to clients. Hyperactive, succinct, contemporary, honest and raw, Kim delivers “in a shot glass” guidance and understandable logic that I would assume he delivers to his therapy clients in such a way. Most clients feel this trust transfer in their safe space and again the author combines his screen writing skills, his vision and clinical experience into this book. All self help books have their limitations and so does this: but as a point of differentiation, this guy does not become directive, prescriptive or proscriptive, doesn’t deviate to cross linking to himself or engaging in verbal diarrhoea of psychobabble and rather invites us in to his world to see if we can benefit from his stories and experiences, both clinical and lived.
January 26, 2021
Growth is 50% revelation and 50% execution.
A toolkit with practical and action-focused advice.
Whilst lots of self-help books focus on psycho-analysing behaviours, reasons, drives of peoples conduct, John Kim focuses on practical advice in regards to upping mental health, connecting with oneself and living a life that is meaningful, purpose-driven and wholesome.
My favourite part of this book is the "Practice" part at the end of each chapter, where questions are asked (or challenged) in terms of identifying behaviour patterns and misbelieves etc. When it comes to personal growth, nothing compares to sitting down with yourself answering some hard questions (or even just getting the questions in your mind) in seeking your own truth.
A toolkit with practical and action-focused advice.
Whilst lots of self-help books focus on psycho-analysing behaviours, reasons, drives of peoples conduct, John Kim focuses on practical advice in regards to upping mental health, connecting with oneself and living a life that is meaningful, purpose-driven and wholesome.
My favourite part of this book is the "Practice" part at the end of each chapter, where questions are asked (or challenged) in terms of identifying behaviour patterns and misbelieves etc. When it comes to personal growth, nothing compares to sitting down with yourself answering some hard questions (or even just getting the questions in your mind) in seeking your own truth.
December 10, 2019
I love the way John Kim writes. I used to read his blogs, his 'My Fucking feelings' and now, finally, I bought his book.
And it was no mistake - I love Angry's perspective and how he's tackling career and relationships. He's practical and has an outstanding common-sense. I don't like the extremes, and this is where I found some common ground - there are quite a lot of shitty things in life but you gotta find a way to deal with it, and build your strong 'container.' Kim advises on how to build it up from the inside to outside layers.
And it was no mistake - I love Angry's perspective and how he's tackling career and relationships. He's practical and has an outstanding common-sense. I don't like the extremes, and this is where I found some common ground - there are quite a lot of shitty things in life but you gotta find a way to deal with it, and build your strong 'container.' Kim advises on how to build it up from the inside to outside layers.
December 23, 2020
Some good tidbits I found helpful. I didn’t feel this books approach or cadence quite spoke to my heart, so I did not connect with it as very helpful. However that is just my experience.
That being said, As a self help book in general this is well constructed with clear points and thesis’, as well as regular simple exercises and action items one can implement. I can see how it may be useful to those who connect with it. There are some problematic generalizations and times when the author extrapolates to everyone/all from his own experiences.
That being said, As a self help book in general this is well constructed with clear points and thesis’, as well as regular simple exercises and action items one can implement. I can see how it may be useful to those who connect with it. There are some problematic generalizations and times when the author extrapolates to everyone/all from his own experiences.
December 2, 2025
This is not a book for me. I am not the intended audience. Not because anything else but my therapy is music, and reading about therapy isn't something my mind engages with.
Nonetheless, I am rating the book with 5 stars, as on logical level all it talks about rings true. The author's style is engaging and indeed, no BS, and I like that a lot. ot is a straight-to-the-point book, very direct, never loses its goal and purpose. I like that a lot too. It knows what it wants to say, and says it. Clear, and concise.
So yeah, I definitely recommend it.
Nonetheless, I am rating the book with 5 stars, as on logical level all it talks about rings true. The author's style is engaging and indeed, no BS, and I like that a lot. ot is a straight-to-the-point book, very direct, never loses its goal and purpose. I like that a lot too. It knows what it wants to say, and says it. Clear, and concise.
So yeah, I definitely recommend it.
August 23, 2017
I picked it up for its provocative title - and the unorthodox approach to therapy which it suggested - and was not disappointed. It was not particularly ground-breaking in its insights, but it didn't have to be; the value it offered was in its particular approach, which was raw, authentic, and engaging. It had more cursing than I like in my books, although that was clearly an essential element of its characteristic tone.
September 19, 2024
There is clearly a market for his style of writing, as he has followers. I must just not be that market. I think my biggest issue with this book is that the author reads the audio version… I really wish authors would hire professional voice actors. The author’s halting cadence is distracting at best. While I like his drive to be different and self-awareness, I ended up not finishing because I just wasn’t getting anything out of it.
January 16, 2023
This is a good book for self growth and change. I recommend it to folks to like a no nonsense approach, and eschew things like psychological terms and science data. I say that because not much in this book is inaccessible to people. I think one of the things he wanted to do was to create a book that anyone could get something out of. I think he achieved that.
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December 1, 2023Everything happens THROUGH me, not TO me.
Shift the perspective from feeling like a victim to feeling purposeful & learn from these opportunities
“Turn your passion into a verb and live it as much as possible”
“If you stay true to your no-bullshit self, eventually life will take your where you’re supposed to go”
Shift the perspective from feeling like a victim to feeling purposeful & learn from these opportunities
“Turn your passion into a verb and live it as much as possible”
“If you stay true to your no-bullshit self, eventually life will take your where you’re supposed to go”
September 22, 2017
This was a really good book...eye-opening in many ways. But something about the presentation made it much more difficult to process and internalize compared to his previous books. Maybe because there was so much jammed into such a short book...
March 4, 2018
He speaks the truth about living your truth
Been reading a lot of self help type stuff this year. This one really resonated with me. I thought the container thing would be weird but it makes sense.
Been reading a lot of self help type stuff this year. This one really resonated with me. I thought the container thing would be weird but it makes sense.
May 17, 2020
This book is a masterpiece!! Honestly I wish it resonates with you as it did with me!! Highly recommend it to each person who is on the journey of self growth!! Thank you John Kim for providing us your knowledge!!
December 31, 2020
Great book! John Kim, aka The Angry Therapist, share from his life, journey and methods of how to live better life, stay true to yourself and gain control on your life in order to live a more meaningful and happy life. I enjoyed reading this book.
February 6, 2021
Absolutely amazing. I am so glad I can across this author. This book is more general, for both men and women and reads like a more down to earth psychology type book. Of the three books of his that I read, this one is the most neutral.
July 26, 2021
Audio Version-
He did a good job narrating his own book. His insight is good. Felt some drive and motivation after listening. I absolutely picked up journaling again after listening to this. It had been a while and it really motivated me to get back into journaling.
He did a good job narrating his own book. His insight is good. Felt some drive and motivation after listening. I absolutely picked up journaling again after listening to this. It had been a while and it really motivated me to get back into journaling.
November 16, 2021
This is a workbook
If you want some real results, read it with pen and paper aside, read it as slow as you need to be brave to be open about and to yourself. Or read twice. A self help in the most practical way.
If you want some real results, read it with pen and paper aside, read it as slow as you need to be brave to be open about and to yourself. Or read twice. A self help in the most practical way.
January 6, 2022
I really enjoyed this book! It gave me a lot of prompts to start journaling with, but the author did repeat and rephrase the same sentence over and over in a few sections of the book. It’s a pretty easy read and gets you thinking about your true self!
June 9, 2017
Surprisingly helpful.
January 21, 2018
Good for venting, but the solutions are not concrete.
January 21, 2019
Too many sports analogies for me to care.
February 27, 2019
Authentic. Too basic. Too verbose. Too much philosophy. Few practicalities. “Plan your game then play your game” advice is not really useful, is not it?
April 7, 2019
Not bad some useful nuggets.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews