What do you think?
Rate this book
Defenseless
From Rainbow Award-winning author AJ Rose, Defenseless is a gut-wrenching, heart-stopping story of love through adversity.
------
Kyle Decker knew dating Jesse McGovern would change his life. Young and in love, and with the Supreme Court ruling in favor of marriage equality, the world is theirs to conquer.
But their victorious Pride celebration ends in a savage attack, brutally demonstrating they’re far from equal. Instead of wedding planning, Jesse and Kyle face an arduous recovery and a shattered sense of their place in the world, their once-promising future suddenly something to survive.
While Jesse struggles with a permanent injury and its emotional aftermath, Kyle’s single-minded focus on Jesse’s recovery is the only thing keeping his demons at bay…for now. What was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love is now full of lies and resentment.
With their dreams tattered and forever changed, trusting anyone—even each other—is daunting. So how can they have faith in twelve strangers on a jury? They’ve already learned the hard way it only takes a moment to become truly defenseless.
------
Kyle Decker knew dating Jesse McGovern would change his life. Young and in love, and with the Supreme Court ruling in favor of marriage equality, the world is theirs to conquer.
But their victorious Pride celebration ends in a savage attack, brutally demonstrating they’re far from equal. Instead of wedding planning, Jesse and Kyle face an arduous recovery and a shattered sense of their place in the world, their once-promising future suddenly something to survive.
While Jesse struggles with a permanent injury and its emotional aftermath, Kyle’s single-minded focus on Jesse’s recovery is the only thing keeping his demons at bay…for now. What was a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love is now full of lies and resentment.
With their dreams tattered and forever changed, trusting anyone—even each other—is daunting. So how can they have faith in twelve strangers on a jury? They’ve already learned the hard way it only takes a moment to become truly defenseless.
438 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 13, 2016
9 people are currently reading
444 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
November 3, 2016
2 stars. DNF @72%
Due to personal reasons, I no longer review books that get less than three stars from me. In order that I can remember why a book didn't work out for me, I've decided to file them accordingly. Meaning, I had to extend my shelves substantially.
Good first 30%…
How could a place like the United States spout so much about being the land of the free when people like him and Jesse were terrorized like this? How could there be equality in the constitution if equality in practice was something people had to fight for? He’d been so euphoric over the Supreme Court ruling, so thrilled to see the celebration across the country that marriage was available for everyone now, and that had ramped up the energy at the Pride parade like nothing he’d ever expected.
Jesse glared. “I was beaten, not shot or bombed. I’ll be fine.” Jesus, he wasn’t a war veteran.
“Just making sure.” Kyle made as if to stand, but Jesse pulled on his hand, keeping him in place.
“Kyle, you don’t have to shield me from the world. I can take care of myself.”
“I know,” Kyle said. “It’s just… you’ve got it hard enough with a bum leg and… everything,” he finished lamely. “Maybe it’ll help me to take care of you some. So I won’t feel so fucking useless.”
That was the worst part. He was a victim. He didn’t want to be, but he had no frame of reference for this. He’d never been afraid, but now his own shadow made him jump.
Then it became somewhat tedious because Jesse's constant I'm-a-jerk-and-then-I-feel-guilty-and-ashamed act is ever-present and so repetitive.
Kyle looked miserable. “I thought it would be good for both of us,” he said meekly. “I wanted to help you be comfortable, and I thought if you saw me handling it, you’d take some strength from that.”
Jesse saw red. “Oh, because if I can’t handle it, then you can swoop in and save me? Because I can’t be trusted to take care of myself?” Was he really back to this again? Why was it Kyle’s fault Jesse was a mess? He knew it wasn’t, but Kyle was the closest target for his fear, and he didn’t waste the opportunity. “If you’re too weak to be out here, and you aren’t the one who got the shit kicked out of him, then how in the blue fuck did you think I’d be okay?”
Pre-reading Defenseless:
#coverlove. Blurb sounds good too.
Due to personal reasons, I no longer review books that get less than three stars from me. In order that I can remember why a book didn't work out for me, I've decided to file them accordingly. Meaning, I had to extend my shelves substantially.
Good first 30%…
How could a place like the United States spout so much about being the land of the free when people like him and Jesse were terrorized like this? How could there be equality in the constitution if equality in practice was something people had to fight for? He’d been so euphoric over the Supreme Court ruling, so thrilled to see the celebration across the country that marriage was available for everyone now, and that had ramped up the energy at the Pride parade like nothing he’d ever expected.
Jesse glared. “I was beaten, not shot or bombed. I’ll be fine.” Jesus, he wasn’t a war veteran.
“Just making sure.” Kyle made as if to stand, but Jesse pulled on his hand, keeping him in place.
“Kyle, you don’t have to shield me from the world. I can take care of myself.”
“I know,” Kyle said. “It’s just… you’ve got it hard enough with a bum leg and… everything,” he finished lamely. “Maybe it’ll help me to take care of you some. So I won’t feel so fucking useless.”
That was the worst part. He was a victim. He didn’t want to be, but he had no frame of reference for this. He’d never been afraid, but now his own shadow made him jump.
Then it became somewhat tedious because Jesse's constant I'm-a-jerk-and-then-I-feel-guilty-and-ashamed act is ever-present and so repetitive.
Kyle looked miserable. “I thought it would be good for both of us,” he said meekly. “I wanted to help you be comfortable, and I thought if you saw me handling it, you’d take some strength from that.”
Jesse saw red. “Oh, because if I can’t handle it, then you can swoop in and save me? Because I can’t be trusted to take care of myself?” Was he really back to this again? Why was it Kyle’s fault Jesse was a mess? He knew it wasn’t, but Kyle was the closest target for his fear, and he didn’t waste the opportunity. “If you’re too weak to be out here, and you aren’t the one who got the shit kicked out of him, then how in the blue fuck did you think I’d be okay?”
Pre-reading Defenseless:
#coverlove. Blurb sounds good too.
September 11, 2016
Jesse and Kyle.....two lovable guys....their journey is...hard damn hard
Great way of writing. It feels familiar. The detailed way is really fascinating, the boys are real they have there own characteristics.
The dialogue is damn good. A.J. Rose writes in a very own style
It starts as a real fun story. Kyle not really out moves in with Jesse as an room/house mate.
Kyle is reluctant to out himself and tell his family that Jesse is his boyfriend.
Jesse presents Kyle to his friends as his boyfriend they all getting really good along.
When they all meet at the Pride Jesse and Kyle tells them they are engaged.
After all they can now marry legally. When it's getting late and cabs are not available they have to wait for an Uber.....
Then.....a horrible thing....the biggest nightmare happened....an attack
Four.men.i.cant.think.of.giving.a.name The worst there are.....
I can't describe how horrible and shocking this is. The impact it has on a human life.
That's the beginning of a hard damn hard time. And it's so worth reading.
It was all so real...so harsh
I could easily scream out loud with them....deafening loud...
It's so heartbreaking to see those lovely guys struggle through life at his worse...
My heart squeezed and crashed.
The psychological thoughts and musings were amazing and very very convincing!!
The author did a amazing job with this subject!
All the feelings, all the doubts they felt honest and very real.
They suffered....Jesse and Kyle....together...apart....they suffered and that hurts like hell.
With their old and new friends and Jesse's family and Bobby, Kyle's brother, their therapist they walked a path of cobblestone with ups and downs but...with progress and that's what this is all about. A great story with much depth and very real. You will love them all.
During the courtroom sessions (I have to commit) I swapped a little through the pages. It's just not my thing. I can't handle lawyers who treat wrong and I can't handle liars.
The parts I did read were pure reality and I know others will love the whole courtroom part.
It was an amazing journey a mustread for those who love a story with many aspects, with depth and doubt about life, with amazing friends and.....with forgiveness and love.
I've never read a story before that felt so near and real.
A.J. Rose has a fabulous mind and great writing skills which is an amazing combination!!
I can see a movie in it.... I really can
And ohhh "Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring" beautiful choice of music.
Great way of writing. It feels familiar. The detailed way is really fascinating, the boys are real they have there own characteristics.
The dialogue is damn good. A.J. Rose writes in a very own style
It starts as a real fun story. Kyle not really out moves in with Jesse as an room/house mate.
Kyle is reluctant to out himself and tell his family that Jesse is his boyfriend.
Jesse presents Kyle to his friends as his boyfriend they all getting really good along.
When they all meet at the Pride Jesse and Kyle tells them they are engaged.
After all they can now marry legally. When it's getting late and cabs are not available they have to wait for an Uber.....
Then.....a horrible thing....the biggest nightmare happened....an attack
Four.men.i.cant.think.of.giving.a.name The worst there are.....
I can't describe how horrible and shocking this is. The impact it has on a human life.
That's the beginning of a hard damn hard time. And it's so worth reading.
It was all so real...so harsh
I could easily scream out loud with them....deafening loud...
It's so heartbreaking to see those lovely guys struggle through life at his worse...
My heart squeezed and crashed.
The psychological thoughts and musings were amazing and very very convincing!!
The author did a amazing job with this subject!
All the feelings, all the doubts they felt honest and very real.
They suffered....Jesse and Kyle....together...apart....they suffered and that hurts like hell.
With their old and new friends and Jesse's family and Bobby, Kyle's brother, their therapist they walked a path of cobblestone with ups and downs but...with progress and that's what this is all about. A great story with much depth and very real. You will love them all.
During the courtroom sessions (I have to commit) I swapped a little through the pages. It's just not my thing. I can't handle lawyers who treat wrong and I can't handle liars.
The parts I did read were pure reality and I know others will love the whole courtroom part.
It was an amazing journey a mustread for those who love a story with many aspects, with depth and doubt about life, with amazing friends and.....with forgiveness and love.
I've never read a story before that felt so near and real.
A.J. Rose has a fabulous mind and great writing skills which is an amazing combination!!
I can see a movie in it.... I really can
And ohhh "Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring" beautiful choice of music.
May 15, 2021
Oh, rip my heart out, why don't you????
This story was hard to read at times. Ugh, who am I kidding? Most of the time. It made me sad. It made me furious. It made me want to cry. It made me want to punch something.
Exactly how Jesse and Kyle felt after dealing with a severe trauma forced on them. I won't go into detail, though, I just want to say that their story was brought to the reader- well,... me - in a way that pulled no punches and yet dealt delicately with heavy topics and felt authentic due to an in my opinion extraordinarily well researched background.
I won't lie, though, the lack of communication between Jesse and Kyle irked me a bit. Or rather the length of it. I totally get where they were coming from, don't get me wrong, but the issue was a bit too dragged out for me, since we are talking about more than 400 pages in total here and it took quite a big chunk of the book to get resolved. That's the reason I can't give this book 5 stars, but it will still resonate with me for a long time.
This story was hard to read at times. Ugh, who am I kidding? Most of the time. It made me sad. It made me furious. It made me want to cry. It made me want to punch something.
Exactly how Jesse and Kyle felt after dealing with a severe trauma forced on them. I won't go into detail, though, I just want to say that their story was brought to the reader- well,... me - in a way that pulled no punches and yet dealt delicately with heavy topics and felt authentic due to an in my opinion extraordinarily well researched background.
I won't lie, though, the lack of communication between Jesse and Kyle irked me a bit. Or rather the length of it. I totally get where they were coming from, don't get me wrong, but the issue was a bit too dragged out for me, since we are talking about more than 400 pages in total here and it took quite a big chunk of the book to get resolved. That's the reason I can't give this book 5 stars, but it will still resonate with me for a long time.
September 13, 2016
Reviewed for Sinfully.
4.5 stars
If you couldn’t tell by the blurb, this is a powerful and moving story. I’m pretty sure there’s not an emotion that AJ Rose missed in this book of love, loss and recovery, but the ride was definitely worth it.
What should have been one of the best years of their lives turns tragic in a matter of minutes. Together for seven months, Jesse and Kyle have never been happier. In the past weeks they have moved in together, Kyle has come out to his family as bi-sexual and thinks it went pretty well and they have just gotten engaged on the heels of the Obergefell decision. Capping things off at Pride with their friends was the perfect celebration until everything is brought to a shattering halt by the actions of four homophobic animals seemingly bent on murder. The brutal attack takes place on page and it wasn’t easy to read with the points of view of both men making it that more painful.
Jesse suffered the most physical damage in the assault, but without diminishing that aspect, the focus is on how both men and their relationship are fundamentally changed by the psychological impact of what happened. The following year tests their strength and commitment to each other and it also brings out unexpected reactions from family, friends and complete strangers. As Jesse and Kyle are trying to conquer their anger, fear and pain, new wounds are created even as a growing support network does what they can to support and care for them. Then finally, almost a year later, they have to relive everything all over again at a trial where they once again feel victimized in a search for justice and the ability to really move forward with the rest of their lives.
This is an incredible undertaking as AJ rose tackles the story from all angles: as individuals, as a couple and, especially in Kyle’s situation, as a family. Both men at points feel defenseless, overcome by anger and fear, unable to protect what they love, feeling weak for different reasons and experiencing vulnerabilities they never had before.
Their relationship understandably goes through a lot of changes. From learning to live with Jesse’s injury to navigating their shifting emotions, their life is a constant ebb and flow of missteps, good intentions going bad, competing emotions and secrets kept in the name of protecting the one you love, and it takes its toll on both men in different ways. At times I understood where both were coming from and at times I found myself angry with one or both, wavering right along with the characters. AJ Rose made them so human that there is likely something in this story that every single person reading will find relatable, whether it’s the family relationships, overcoming an unexpected trauma or just learning to communicate. It’s more a relationship drama than a romance.
In amongst all of the pain, there are bright spots. Jesse’s frat brothers and friends are a great support network, Kyle’s relationship with his brother grows from bickering sibling to staunch supporter and Liam, the stranger who stepped in to stop their attack becomes a new part of their life. Unfortunately, not all of the people that they expect to be there for them come through and there is a stark difference in the reactions of Kyle’s and Jesse’s parents.
AJ Rose’s writing had me right in the story the whole time. Some of what happens smacks you in the face with emotion and some of it sneaks up on you unexpectedly, but all of it felt utterly real. This is a long story and there were one or two spots where I felt the pace slowed and that I was being pointedly educated about some issues, but overall it moved along very well. It’s a powerful relationship drama and love story that’s not easy to read, both for the subject matter and the long road Kyle and Jesse have to travel to their happy ending. I felt the ups and downs right along with them, I felt scared, angry and frustrated, but ultimately happy to see them overcome against incredible odds.
4.5 stars
If you couldn’t tell by the blurb, this is a powerful and moving story. I’m pretty sure there’s not an emotion that AJ Rose missed in this book of love, loss and recovery, but the ride was definitely worth it.
What should have been one of the best years of their lives turns tragic in a matter of minutes. Together for seven months, Jesse and Kyle have never been happier. In the past weeks they have moved in together, Kyle has come out to his family as bi-sexual and thinks it went pretty well and they have just gotten engaged on the heels of the Obergefell decision. Capping things off at Pride with their friends was the perfect celebration until everything is brought to a shattering halt by the actions of four homophobic animals seemingly bent on murder. The brutal attack takes place on page and it wasn’t easy to read with the points of view of both men making it that more painful.
Jesse suffered the most physical damage in the assault, but without diminishing that aspect, the focus is on how both men and their relationship are fundamentally changed by the psychological impact of what happened. The following year tests their strength and commitment to each other and it also brings out unexpected reactions from family, friends and complete strangers. As Jesse and Kyle are trying to conquer their anger, fear and pain, new wounds are created even as a growing support network does what they can to support and care for them. Then finally, almost a year later, they have to relive everything all over again at a trial where they once again feel victimized in a search for justice and the ability to really move forward with the rest of their lives.
This is an incredible undertaking as AJ rose tackles the story from all angles: as individuals, as a couple and, especially in Kyle’s situation, as a family. Both men at points feel defenseless, overcome by anger and fear, unable to protect what they love, feeling weak for different reasons and experiencing vulnerabilities they never had before.
Their relationship understandably goes through a lot of changes. From learning to live with Jesse’s injury to navigating their shifting emotions, their life is a constant ebb and flow of missteps, good intentions going bad, competing emotions and secrets kept in the name of protecting the one you love, and it takes its toll on both men in different ways. At times I understood where both were coming from and at times I found myself angry with one or both, wavering right along with the characters. AJ Rose made them so human that there is likely something in this story that every single person reading will find relatable, whether it’s the family relationships, overcoming an unexpected trauma or just learning to communicate. It’s more a relationship drama than a romance.
In amongst all of the pain, there are bright spots. Jesse’s frat brothers and friends are a great support network, Kyle’s relationship with his brother grows from bickering sibling to staunch supporter and Liam, the stranger who stepped in to stop their attack becomes a new part of their life. Unfortunately, not all of the people that they expect to be there for them come through and there is a stark difference in the reactions of Kyle’s and Jesse’s parents.
AJ Rose’s writing had me right in the story the whole time. Some of what happens smacks you in the face with emotion and some of it sneaks up on you unexpectedly, but all of it felt utterly real. This is a long story and there were one or two spots where I felt the pace slowed and that I was being pointedly educated about some issues, but overall it moved along very well. It’s a powerful relationship drama and love story that’s not easy to read, both for the subject matter and the long road Kyle and Jesse have to travel to their happy ending. I felt the ups and downs right along with them, I felt scared, angry and frustrated, but ultimately happy to see them overcome against incredible odds.
October 18, 2017
Wow....Well what can I say about this book...It's nothing short of perfect.......Kyle and Jesse are at the start of their lives and looking forward to the new ruling of marriage for same sex couples......Celebrating that and Pride they don't know what's awaiting them round the corner.....The vicious attack of them both is horrendous...Four on Two.....Although Jesse has the worst of the injuries...Kyle can only watch what is done to his Fiance....This is one of the hardest scenes but It is done perfectly...You will feel for both Kyle and Jesse and watch as they try to get their lives back...to recover from the physical and mental injuries......The way the author takes you on their journey with them is hard.....Watching as they fall apart and try to get back on their feet.......The secondary characters are brilliantly done too...Kyle's brother Bobby is a god send to them....Jesse's frat brothers...Cameron Devon and Lance are their moral support too.....Helping them readjust to a harsh world where everything seems scary...There's altercations between the two as they try to make the best of a new life with Jesse's permanent injury......Jesse's parents are there for them but not so Kyle's...I hated his father...I hated how he treated Kyle and why...But through the whole book the heart-wrenching part is the trial of the men who attacked them......waiting to hope that true justice is done.....A book that flows and will keep you on the edge of your seat...urging them on and hoping just hoping that they will get their HEA.....You just have to read this book..A truly amazing edition to Aj Rose's collection x
September 16, 2016
I don't really know how to write up a coherent review for this amazing book. It slayed me. It slayed me, it made me ugly-cry, it made me rage, and it made me smile at the end.
Kyle Decker and Jesse McGovern are young, in love, and moving into their own apartment at the beginning of this book. Soon after, the Supreme Court declares same-sex marriage the law of the land, and in their joy, the two men become engaged. Equality rules, and love has won. Pride celebrations are two days later, and they're out with friends, enjoying themselves. Life is wonderful.
Until it isn't.
Until a savage homophobic attack on their way home lands both of them in the hospital and completely derails their lives.
The book deals primarily with the aftermath of that attack. It deals with guilt, with fear, with anger, with a relationship under a massive amount of strain, but it's also about healing, recovery, leaning on family and friends, making your own family, standing up to family, and fighting for the one you love. Seeking justice against the odds. Facing your demons. Confronting your fears. Crawling, sometimes just by sheer will, out of that hole you find yourself in.
AJ Rose crafted a powerful book, one I couldn't stop reading, mesmerized and so very moved until the very last page. Her sensitivity in handling the vicious attack and its aftermath, her eloquent insights into the impact the attack has on Kyle's and Jesse's lives, the careful way she explored each man and let us see inside their heads - it was spell-binding. Evocative writing, realistic portrayals of pain and fear and anger and heartache, and the underlying strength to keep going, to claw your way back out of the hole - I don't really have words to explain what this book did to me. It's going straight on my Best of 2016 list.
The story depicted within could happen and does happen in this country and all over the world. Every day. It can happen to anyone, simply because of who they are and who they love. It could happen to you.
Read this book, I beg you!
** I received a free copy of this book from its author. A positive review was not promised in return. **
Kyle Decker and Jesse McGovern are young, in love, and moving into their own apartment at the beginning of this book. Soon after, the Supreme Court declares same-sex marriage the law of the land, and in their joy, the two men become engaged. Equality rules, and love has won. Pride celebrations are two days later, and they're out with friends, enjoying themselves. Life is wonderful.
Until it isn't.
Until a savage homophobic attack on their way home lands both of them in the hospital and completely derails their lives.
The book deals primarily with the aftermath of that attack. It deals with guilt, with fear, with anger, with a relationship under a massive amount of strain, but it's also about healing, recovery, leaning on family and friends, making your own family, standing up to family, and fighting for the one you love. Seeking justice against the odds. Facing your demons. Confronting your fears. Crawling, sometimes just by sheer will, out of that hole you find yourself in.
AJ Rose crafted a powerful book, one I couldn't stop reading, mesmerized and so very moved until the very last page. Her sensitivity in handling the vicious attack and its aftermath, her eloquent insights into the impact the attack has on Kyle's and Jesse's lives, the careful way she explored each man and let us see inside their heads - it was spell-binding. Evocative writing, realistic portrayals of pain and fear and anger and heartache, and the underlying strength to keep going, to claw your way back out of the hole - I don't really have words to explain what this book did to me. It's going straight on my Best of 2016 list.
The story depicted within could happen and does happen in this country and all over the world. Every day. It can happen to anyone, simply because of who they are and who they love. It could happen to you.
Read this book, I beg you!
** I received a free copy of this book from its author. A positive review was not promised in return. **
September 6, 2016
4.5 stars
I don't even remember the last time that I cried throughout an entire book. This book had me crying non-stop. Certain areas of the story was super heartbreaking and wonderfully written, that I had no choice but to email Rose at 1 a.m. telling her how I felt. I live in Chicago so this story was extra special to me. I've been to a couple of these places, and I could close my eyes and just picture everything that happened. When I say one of the best realistic stories I've ever read. It was brilliant. Now the book is not without it's faults. It's long, over 400 pages. Certain aspects of the legal issue I could have done without but, I had to realize that they made the story way more authentic.
I read the blurb, but I don't think I was ready for how impact the story was going to be. With books usually like these, I'm either fuming by the end. I end up being upset about how one of the mc's acted or how the dialogue went. In this I can say, every response, every tear, every argument, and everything else is exactly how I would react. I can say the guys reactions to the crime were spot on, and very real. Kyle and Jesse are just starting their lives together. And while at the moment the biggest issue is Kyle coming out to his parents about him being bi-sexual. We see how it is eating him up inside. We see Jesse being the supportive boyfriend by not rushing him. Jesse is everything to me. I love how he has a no holds barred talk with Kyle several times in the story. Jesse is very supportive, and he lets Kyle know constantly that sure his parents might be support him but everyone else will.
While this is the biggest flaw, nothing they can ever expect happens to them. They are the victims of a hate crime. They are attacked where LGTBQIA people are suppose to be safe. Boystown/ Pride in Chicago is fabulous. I literally was at Spin every Friday, Saturday night in undergrad. It was my hangout spot with my friends. I've never had a bad experience or was subjective to any form of discrimination. Jesse and Kyle are celebrating, and at the end of the day 4 heterosexual guys didn't love themselves enough to leave them alone. This changed their lives drastically. Kyle & Jesse are no longer who they were in the beginning of the book. They go through a lot. It's heartbreaking and I loved every minute of it.
From here on out it's a struggle for the guys to be outside, to be alone, to talk to one another. This is where the author's writing skills excel big time! I found myself crying for them, and with them. I loved the pacing of the story. The gradual uphill of their struggle. I loved reading from both guys pov's. It showed the decline of their relationship. Even with the decline, I understood it. I get it. I couldn't imagine going through this. They were happy and in the cusp of 4 minutes their lives changed drastically. I really liked this story. It's one of my favorites of 2016. I look forward to more from Rose, and I applaud her for writing such an awesome story.
I don't even remember the last time that I cried throughout an entire book. This book had me crying non-stop. Certain areas of the story was super heartbreaking and wonderfully written, that I had no choice but to email Rose at 1 a.m. telling her how I felt. I live in Chicago so this story was extra special to me. I've been to a couple of these places, and I could close my eyes and just picture everything that happened. When I say one of the best realistic stories I've ever read. It was brilliant. Now the book is not without it's faults. It's long, over 400 pages. Certain aspects of the legal issue I could have done without but, I had to realize that they made the story way more authentic.
I read the blurb, but I don't think I was ready for how impact the story was going to be. With books usually like these, I'm either fuming by the end. I end up being upset about how one of the mc's acted or how the dialogue went. In this I can say, every response, every tear, every argument, and everything else is exactly how I would react. I can say the guys reactions to the crime were spot on, and very real. Kyle and Jesse are just starting their lives together. And while at the moment the biggest issue is Kyle coming out to his parents about him being bi-sexual. We see how it is eating him up inside. We see Jesse being the supportive boyfriend by not rushing him. Jesse is everything to me. I love how he has a no holds barred talk with Kyle several times in the story. Jesse is very supportive, and he lets Kyle know constantly that sure his parents might be support him but everyone else will.
While this is the biggest flaw, nothing they can ever expect happens to them. They are the victims of a hate crime. They are attacked where LGTBQIA people are suppose to be safe. Boystown/ Pride in Chicago is fabulous. I literally was at Spin every Friday, Saturday night in undergrad. It was my hangout spot with my friends. I've never had a bad experience or was subjective to any form of discrimination. Jesse and Kyle are celebrating, and at the end of the day 4 heterosexual guys didn't love themselves enough to leave them alone. This changed their lives drastically. Kyle & Jesse are no longer who they were in the beginning of the book. They go through a lot. It's heartbreaking and I loved every minute of it.
From here on out it's a struggle for the guys to be outside, to be alone, to talk to one another. This is where the author's writing skills excel big time! I found myself crying for them, and with them. I loved the pacing of the story. The gradual uphill of their struggle. I loved reading from both guys pov's. It showed the decline of their relationship. Even with the decline, I understood it. I get it. I couldn't imagine going through this. They were happy and in the cusp of 4 minutes their lives changed drastically. I really liked this story. It's one of my favorites of 2016. I look forward to more from Rose, and I applaud her for writing such an awesome story.
November 11, 2016
I'm sorry, I don't rate books on the basis how important their topic is, or how much work the author put into it. My rating reflects how much the book worked for me, and I just can't help it, this book didn't. The writing style was insurmountable for me. It was so heavy and clunky, it was like reading a textbook or something. I could get information from it but nothing else. I'm sure if you like the style, or if you don't have a problem with it, the book will be great for you. For me it was like a wall of words that didn't let me do anything: not see the picture of what was happening, not connect with characters. You know that "show don't tell" rule? Well, here I could only think: "Don't show me everything so obviously!" It was like the author didn't trust the readers to imagine anything, to feel anything by themselves - but had to describe everything in a painstaking detail. "In this scene the author shows the readers how happy Jesse and Kyle are together", "in this scene the author shows the readers how cool and supportive Jesse's friends are", "in this scene the author shows the readers how supportive Kyle's family is" and so on. I had to DNF it. It wasn't a journey with the characters through everything that happened to them, it was trudging through descriptions of what was going on.
September 26, 2016
Review by The Blogger Girls.
This was one tragic, yet beautiful and captivating story! I was in love with Kyle and Jesse from the start. I loved watching them in love, celebrating being together, planning their future, enjoying Pride and the marriage legality. I wanted to be right there with them experiencing it all and celebrating with them. It was infectious. Until it wasn’t.
I will never understand how anyone can physically hurt another human being such as what happens to Kyle and Jesse, and I’m flabberghasted and sickened every time I hear about it in real life. Getting an inside glimpse on someone who experienced it and the ensuing aftermath that that affects their life was just as painful and heartbreaking. Good and bad, nothing in this story felt made up or unbelievable.
But, more about Kyle and Jesse. Though we get to see the joy of their lives beforehand, and everything following, it is that aftermath that took over this story for me. Jesse was the more injured of the two and Kyle was right there by his side through it all. It was so hard to watch them struggling so much even if it was expected. They both experienced the attack but are having to deal with fallout in different ways. The physical healing was just a small piece to their new puzzle. This was something that was truly dividing them when before nothing really had.
Jesse has the help of a wonderful family and friends, but Kyle doesn’t have many other friends and is dealing with his recent coming out to his parents about his bisexuality who don’t take it that well, with the exception of his brother, Bobby. I absolutely loved how they went from typical brothers who got along but bickered and tolerated each other to Bobby being the number one supporter. He was one of my favorite side characters without a doubt. Jesse’s friends/frat brothers were amazing, and I loved his completely loving and supporting family as well.
The love these guys share bleeds off the page, but as everything else overwhelms them, their relationship suffers. There is a lot going on here, between the physical and mental healing, the adjustments they needed to make to their lives and dealing with first finding their attackers and then the ensuing trial, not to mention the family issues, they have a lot on their plates. As horrible as that all seems, trust me when I say that it is worth it to follow them to the end.
For me, a book that truly captivates me, even though the content may be cringeworthy at times, keeps me engaged, revs up my emotions and has me focused on turning pages, is a true sign of a well written book. It was an amazingly beautiful story of love, tragedy, second chances and rising like a phoenix from the ashes to find that love again, and I’m so glad I took a chance on it. Highly recommended.
September 13, 2016
When SCOTUS ruled that marriage equality was the law of the land last year, the book shelves flooded with gorgeous same sex romances. Men marrying men. Women marrying women. Love. Pure, amazing, rainbow love. And I adored it, I did. But I kept thinking, “There’s no way this is the end. There’s no way this ruling will end discrimination.” I found it hard to accept all the hearts and flowers. Because though that wonderful day, June 26, 2015, brought laughter and smiles and legal acceptance. It did not end for everyone.
Defenseless by AJ Rose is kind of the book I’ve been waiting for. It shows another side of that ruling. Reviewing this without spoilers is hard but I’m going to do it. This is a book built on emotions. Yes. Emotions. Because it’s the emotions we feel that make us react how we do. The origin of them aren’t always clear or righteous. They just are.
We start with Jesse and Kyle moving in together, Pre SCOTUS. It’s actually a good while before. Kyle is closeted from his family but Jesse is not. The dream to feel that blissful freedom to love is thick through the entire book. When you read a story knowing the equality will come you want to jump in and say, “Hang in there buddies. It’s gonna happen.” But Jesse and Kyle don’t know this.
They have a good life. Jesse’s friends are A-MAZ-ING! Seriously the greatest people I think. I’ll tell you my favorite secondary character in a minute.
Anyway, we follow Kyle and Jesse as a couple. Living life and truly loving each other hard. It is really beautiful. Kyle does come out to his family and it goes meh. Bobby, Kyle’s brother shocked me and yes HE is my favorite secondary character in this story.
And then the ruling. PRIDE right after the ruling was fierce everywhere and Kyle and Jesse go to BOYSTOWN with Jesse’s friends and it’s just a burst of amazing. But this is where reality hits. Literally.
While Jesse and Kyle are waiting for their UBER to arrive they are brutally beaten. 4 against 2. Jesse gets the worst physically and if it wasn’t for witnesses I really think Jesse may have died.
The remainder of the book is not just recovery and healing. It’s justice. And even though SCOTUS made that ruling this really shows it’s not accepted by everyone just because a judge said so.
Kyle’s parents turn their back on him... mainly his dad. Jesse is bitter and angry. The lies, the pain. They practically fall apart.
All because of emotions and a moment of hate and fear.
Defenseless shows the process through all of it with penetrating feeling and understanding. I think this book is enlightening. Because it really shows that it wasn’t all flash mob engagements, courthouse crowdings to get hitched. There were same sex couples who faced horrible prejudice. Who face it now. And we, as a society, need to remember that. To be aware of that. It’s vital.
I give AJ Rose a lot of props for writing this book that is enlightening, inspiring, and the bravest book I’ve read all year without question.
This is a ground breaking novel absolutely! A must read by all.
Defenseless by AJ Rose is kind of the book I’ve been waiting for. It shows another side of that ruling. Reviewing this without spoilers is hard but I’m going to do it. This is a book built on emotions. Yes. Emotions. Because it’s the emotions we feel that make us react how we do. The origin of them aren’t always clear or righteous. They just are.
We start with Jesse and Kyle moving in together, Pre SCOTUS. It’s actually a good while before. Kyle is closeted from his family but Jesse is not. The dream to feel that blissful freedom to love is thick through the entire book. When you read a story knowing the equality will come you want to jump in and say, “Hang in there buddies. It’s gonna happen.” But Jesse and Kyle don’t know this.
They have a good life. Jesse’s friends are A-MAZ-ING! Seriously the greatest people I think. I’ll tell you my favorite secondary character in a minute.
Anyway, we follow Kyle and Jesse as a couple. Living life and truly loving each other hard. It is really beautiful. Kyle does come out to his family and it goes meh. Bobby, Kyle’s brother shocked me and yes HE is my favorite secondary character in this story.
And then the ruling. PRIDE right after the ruling was fierce everywhere and Kyle and Jesse go to BOYSTOWN with Jesse’s friends and it’s just a burst of amazing. But this is where reality hits. Literally.
While Jesse and Kyle are waiting for their UBER to arrive they are brutally beaten. 4 against 2. Jesse gets the worst physically and if it wasn’t for witnesses I really think Jesse may have died.
The remainder of the book is not just recovery and healing. It’s justice. And even though SCOTUS made that ruling this really shows it’s not accepted by everyone just because a judge said so.
Kyle’s parents turn their back on him... mainly his dad. Jesse is bitter and angry. The lies, the pain. They practically fall apart.
All because of emotions and a moment of hate and fear.
Defenseless shows the process through all of it with penetrating feeling and understanding. I think this book is enlightening. Because it really shows that it wasn’t all flash mob engagements, courthouse crowdings to get hitched. There were same sex couples who faced horrible prejudice. Who face it now. And we, as a society, need to remember that. To be aware of that. It’s vital.
I give AJ Rose a lot of props for writing this book that is enlightening, inspiring, and the bravest book I’ve read all year without question.
This is a ground breaking novel absolutely! A must read by all.
September 13, 2016
4.5 stars rounded up.
I've hidden this review because it's my overall comment on the book.
I've hidden this review because it's my overall comment on the book.
September 11, 2016
Review to come once I've dried my tears and gathered my thoughts.
October 10, 2016
4.5 Stars
This story is immensely moving - full of frank discussion, tragedy, and (ultimately) love. The length here lets the exploration of feelings go much deeper than normal. Not much is hidden - the highs, the lows, the times the boys are, as the title notes, defenseless. Not only on the day of the attack and during but after - in the quiet moments, the moments of fear to do an everyday activity, and the moments of questioning whether life will ever be ok - and if they will. It's not melodramatic - it feels honest and true to the type of reaction you might expect from such a life altering attack.
I always enjoy this authors work - and this is no exception. A lot of emotions contained here - but while reading I had a distance from the characters. I think there is a balance between moving the reader to uncontrollable feeling and the wooden-ness of flat description. I expected this book to fall in the former category but, for me, there were moments of the latter. It really wasn't until the trail that the level of emotion I'd expected came through. As a parent of a LGBTQ child I feel the fear this book represents very clearly - I certainly an aware every hand holding moment, kiss, or other PA could trigger something like an attack by someone else. So personal investment in the topic = strong. I think we see a lot of the anger and frustration after the incident here - some of the despair and fear. Most of the sex is in the beginning - with very little in the last 1/2. I think that's what makes me round down and not up. The boys spent so much time dealing with their own things, not wanting to make the other upset, and emotionally at a distance from each other that I too, as a reader, felt at a distance for quite a lot of the recovery. The few snippets we get with the psychologist are great - and the group guy Calvin-- and I think a bit more of that would have brought home the emotion stronger for me. We listen to the boys sort of say what the issue is and recognize it but it feels a bit more clinical.
This book feels way more like a regular fiction novel than a romance. It's a needed book - an important one.
This story is immensely moving - full of frank discussion, tragedy, and (ultimately) love. The length here lets the exploration of feelings go much deeper than normal. Not much is hidden - the highs, the lows, the times the boys are, as the title notes, defenseless. Not only on the day of the attack and during but after - in the quiet moments, the moments of fear to do an everyday activity, and the moments of questioning whether life will ever be ok - and if they will. It's not melodramatic - it feels honest and true to the type of reaction you might expect from such a life altering attack.
I always enjoy this authors work - and this is no exception. A lot of emotions contained here - but while reading I had a distance from the characters. I think there is a balance between moving the reader to uncontrollable feeling and the wooden-ness of flat description. I expected this book to fall in the former category but, for me, there were moments of the latter. It really wasn't until the trail that the level of emotion I'd expected came through. As a parent of a LGBTQ child I feel the fear this book represents very clearly - I certainly an aware every hand holding moment, kiss, or other PA could trigger something like an attack by someone else. So personal investment in the topic = strong. I think we see a lot of the anger and frustration after the incident here - some of the despair and fear. Most of the sex is in the beginning - with very little in the last 1/2. I think that's what makes me round down and not up. The boys spent so much time dealing with their own things, not wanting to make the other upset, and emotionally at a distance from each other that I too, as a reader, felt at a distance for quite a lot of the recovery. The few snippets we get with the psychologist are great - and the group guy Calvin-- and I think a bit more of that would have brought home the emotion stronger for me. We listen to the boys sort of say what the issue is and recognize it but it feels a bit more clinical.
This book feels way more like a regular fiction novel than a romance. It's a needed book - an important one.
October 17, 2016
3.5 stars
The first thirty-percent of this story reeled me in something fierce. I absolutely loved these guys, Kyle and Jesse. The court trial for marriage equality was interesting, the outcome heartwarming, especially when it resulted in a marriage proposal.
As per the blurb, when Kyle and Jesse become victims of a hate crime their happy little bubble is savagely popped. This story went a long way to show that even with society making leaps and bounds, accepting people regardless of sexual orientation, there are still many homophobes to be wary of.
The attack was a horrid thing to bear witness to. AJ Rose has a vivid writing style and sticks the reader smack bang in the middle of events. The crack of bone made me literally shudder.
So with their lives turned upside down, these boys not only have to overcome their own fears but also deal with the emotional trauma inflicted upon each other. For various reasons bitterness seeps in. Secrets are kept in an attempt to spare the other more hurt, which has the opposite effect.
Even though this story is told from Kyle and Jesse’s point-of-view, the reader is privy to numerous characters thoughts and feelings – friends, family, therapists, co-workers, a good Samaritan, Liam and so-on.
This story has some adult content but the bigger story is the hate crime and how someone overcomes such a heinous attack, if ever really.
From the 30% to 80% mark, the story has a heavy focus on how such an attack not only affects the victims but everyone close to them. The trial, of course, also rehashes the events of the story.
The last 20% sucked me back in and I was happy with the outcome.
Copy provided in exchange for an honest review
The first thirty-percent of this story reeled me in something fierce. I absolutely loved these guys, Kyle and Jesse. The court trial for marriage equality was interesting, the outcome heartwarming, especially when it resulted in a marriage proposal.
As per the blurb, when Kyle and Jesse become victims of a hate crime their happy little bubble is savagely popped. This story went a long way to show that even with society making leaps and bounds, accepting people regardless of sexual orientation, there are still many homophobes to be wary of.
The attack was a horrid thing to bear witness to. AJ Rose has a vivid writing style and sticks the reader smack bang in the middle of events. The crack of bone made me literally shudder.
So with their lives turned upside down, these boys not only have to overcome their own fears but also deal with the emotional trauma inflicted upon each other. For various reasons bitterness seeps in. Secrets are kept in an attempt to spare the other more hurt, which has the opposite effect.
Even though this story is told from Kyle and Jesse’s point-of-view, the reader is privy to numerous characters thoughts and feelings – friends, family, therapists, co-workers, a good Samaritan, Liam and so-on.
This story has some adult content but the bigger story is the hate crime and how someone overcomes such a heinous attack, if ever really.
From the 30% to 80% mark, the story has a heavy focus on how such an attack not only affects the victims but everyone close to them. The trial, of course, also rehashes the events of the story.
The last 20% sucked me back in and I was happy with the outcome.
Copy provided in exchange for an honest review
September 12, 2016
**4.5 stars**
Extraordinary.
Defenseless chronicles the story of Jesse and Kyle, a young couple in love whose lives were irrevocably changed after a gay-bashing following the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality.
Talk about taking on a beast of a topic huh? The author did the story justice and then some.
I love that we got some time with Jesse and Kyle before their attack. I was reading about this young couple in love, decorating their first apartment together, deciding how Jesse will support Kyle to come out as bisexual and all the while I had this sense of impending doom, just waiting for the attack. When it happened, there had been sufficient page time to convince me of Jesse and Kyle’s love for one another, which made it all the more devastating.
Yes folks, this is gonna hurt like a sonafabitch.
Jesse is injured severely and Kyle is losing his ever-loving mind. Kyle is a nurse and he takes over taking care of Jesse full time. Jesse is a mess; he’s defeated, angry, resentful, becomes a total a$$hole to Kyle. Kyle has the patience of a saint. He grits he teeth and is there for whatever Jesse needs. But the bottom line? They are both freaking terrified. They don’t leave the house unless it’s for necessities. They develop anxiety in public places and they draw further and further apart emotionally. It sucked reading about their pain because it took so many freaking forms.
What I was most impressed with? There was not a single aspect of their lives that could have been affected by the attack that the author did not turn inside out and analyse the hell out of. I mean...everyfreakingthing was addressed and given the proper page time. Their relationship. Their social life. Their finances. The family dynamics, especially with Kyle’s parents. Their friends who were amazing and provided amazing support. The legal situation with the investigation and later on the trial. This was a massive, game-changing, life event and the author succeeded in presenting it in a very realistic, human way. Nothing was sugar-coated. Nothing was softened. And of course, the majestic thing was how Kyle and Jesse came out of all of this.
Their love story is a thing for the ages. Even when things seemed to be grinding to a halt, there was not a single moment I did not believe they would rise above. And they so fucking did.The steam was scorching in the beginning and was introduced in an organic way after the attack.
The last 20% or so is dedicated to the trial which I am happy to say was super detailed. It was like a court-room drama given to us play-by-play on page. And it might seem like too much but after the huge impact this attack had on Jesse and Kyle’s lives, I personally felt like that page time needed to be devoted to the trial proceedings. However, the story overall could have used some chopping I think. It did not drag, exactly, because the pace the story unfolded in felt appropriate, but certain things did not need that much detail.
This story is hurt/comfort extraordinaire and if you are an angst junky like me, you absolutely have to read this. I know readers will be weary of just how angsty this is but fear not –there is a pay out at the end to make all the ugly pain and tears worth it. It is an inspiring story and the romance shines through. The love they share, it’s the stuff of dreams, and even when they fucked up and hurt each other, it still shone through.
Highly recommend.
ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review. See this review on Gay Book Reviews.
Extraordinary.
Defenseless chronicles the story of Jesse and Kyle, a young couple in love whose lives were irrevocably changed after a gay-bashing following the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality.
Talk about taking on a beast of a topic huh? The author did the story justice and then some.
I love that we got some time with Jesse and Kyle before their attack. I was reading about this young couple in love, decorating their first apartment together, deciding how Jesse will support Kyle to come out as bisexual and all the while I had this sense of impending doom, just waiting for the attack. When it happened, there had been sufficient page time to convince me of Jesse and Kyle’s love for one another, which made it all the more devastating.
Yes folks, this is gonna hurt like a sonafabitch.
Jesse is injured severely and Kyle is losing his ever-loving mind. Kyle is a nurse and he takes over taking care of Jesse full time. Jesse is a mess; he’s defeated, angry, resentful, becomes a total a$$hole to Kyle. Kyle has the patience of a saint. He grits he teeth and is there for whatever Jesse needs. But the bottom line? They are both freaking terrified. They don’t leave the house unless it’s for necessities. They develop anxiety in public places and they draw further and further apart emotionally. It sucked reading about their pain because it took so many freaking forms.
What I was most impressed with? There was not a single aspect of their lives that could have been affected by the attack that the author did not turn inside out and analyse the hell out of. I mean...everyfreakingthing was addressed and given the proper page time. Their relationship. Their social life. Their finances. The family dynamics, especially with Kyle’s parents. Their friends who were amazing and provided amazing support. The legal situation with the investigation and later on the trial. This was a massive, game-changing, life event and the author succeeded in presenting it in a very realistic, human way. Nothing was sugar-coated. Nothing was softened. And of course, the majestic thing was how Kyle and Jesse came out of all of this.
Their love story is a thing for the ages. Even when things seemed to be grinding to a halt, there was not a single moment I did not believe they would rise above. And they so fucking did.The steam was scorching in the beginning and was introduced in an organic way after the attack.
The last 20% or so is dedicated to the trial which I am happy to say was super detailed. It was like a court-room drama given to us play-by-play on page. And it might seem like too much but after the huge impact this attack had on Jesse and Kyle’s lives, I personally felt like that page time needed to be devoted to the trial proceedings. However, the story overall could have used some chopping I think. It did not drag, exactly, because the pace the story unfolded in felt appropriate, but certain things did not need that much detail.
This story is hurt/comfort extraordinaire and if you are an angst junky like me, you absolutely have to read this. I know readers will be weary of just how angsty this is but fear not –there is a pay out at the end to make all the ugly pain and tears worth it. It is an inspiring story and the romance shines through. The love they share, it’s the stuff of dreams, and even when they fucked up and hurt each other, it still shone through.
Highly recommend.
ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review. See this review on Gay Book Reviews.
September 20, 2016
REVIEWED FOR PRISM BOOK ALLIANCE
4.5 Stars
Although this book begins by celebrating same sex marriage it soon becomes devastatingly clear that whilst that is a great win it is not the end of the battle where equality is concerned.
This is a tough read. What starts as a happy story – two men beginning their lives together, moving in together, meeting each other’s friends together, making plans for the future together soon takes on a dark twist when after a day of celebration at Pride it becomes all too clear that not everyone is happy. That awful but thankfully small part of society that believes it has a right to not only disagree with who you are but to act on those feelings and physically hurt you – that is who Kyle and Jesse are confronted by on their way home – a home they are still in the process of building but a home that will never be the same again as they themselves are changed irrevocably in a vicious attack.
The writing is flawless and haunting – in fact this is one of those stories that haunts you for days. You will be doing something innocuous and Kyle and Jesse will spring to mind. Only a small part of the book is about the actual attack as the real story is the aftermath – the piecing back together of two young lives both physically and mentally, living with the fear EVERY day that it could happen again, living with the consequences of a parent fearing for your life and that fear causing them to turn their back on you and living with the breakdown of firstly yourself and then your relationship because you are scared, tired, angry and you can no longer control your temper.
Be prepared for this story to put you through the wringer. The author doesn’t mince words or soften over things to keep your feelings and emotions in check. It’s raw and powerful but sadly a true story for many. There is a happy but it takes time and effort to get there both for Kyle and Jesse and you the reader.
4.5 Stars
Although this book begins by celebrating same sex marriage it soon becomes devastatingly clear that whilst that is a great win it is not the end of the battle where equality is concerned.
This is a tough read. What starts as a happy story – two men beginning their lives together, moving in together, meeting each other’s friends together, making plans for the future together soon takes on a dark twist when after a day of celebration at Pride it becomes all too clear that not everyone is happy. That awful but thankfully small part of society that believes it has a right to not only disagree with who you are but to act on those feelings and physically hurt you – that is who Kyle and Jesse are confronted by on their way home – a home they are still in the process of building but a home that will never be the same again as they themselves are changed irrevocably in a vicious attack.
The writing is flawless and haunting – in fact this is one of those stories that haunts you for days. You will be doing something innocuous and Kyle and Jesse will spring to mind. Only a small part of the book is about the actual attack as the real story is the aftermath – the piecing back together of two young lives both physically and mentally, living with the fear EVERY day that it could happen again, living with the consequences of a parent fearing for your life and that fear causing them to turn their back on you and living with the breakdown of firstly yourself and then your relationship because you are scared, tired, angry and you can no longer control your temper.
Be prepared for this story to put you through the wringer. The author doesn’t mince words or soften over things to keep your feelings and emotions in check. It’s raw and powerful but sadly a true story for many. There is a happy but it takes time and effort to get there both for Kyle and Jesse and you the reader.
September 19, 2016
From the blurb we were given, I knew this would be a difficult read for me, which meant of course that I spent most of the read with a box of tissues close by, and on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. Yes, there were tears, and I turned into Mrs Angry [and not just with the arseholes who thought it was 'manly' and 'fun' to teach two faggots...God, I hate that effing word... a lesson about kissing in public], but I was still seething at the end that certain people feel that they have to live their lives in fear and shame of what bigoted morons might think, cos you know, to upset the morons 'delicate' sensibilities is just not acceptable....
AJ really upped the stakes with this novel. It was graphic in terms of the violence inflicted on Kyle and especially Jesse, and made for pretty harrowing reading at times, but just as painful for me to read about were the reactions of family members who are supposed to have your back (!!)...and OK,
The court scene was tense, gripping and so realistic, I found myself hoping beyond hope that someone would burst in with a shotgun and shoot the three defendants..you know, they maim, terrorise and injure two guys out for a Pride evening and celebrating their engagement, and then those two guys have to re-live every little horror-filled memory of that evening at the trial....as if they haven't suffered enough already. It sucks!!
November 12, 2016
I cried so many tears while reading this book, both happy and sad. I felt every emotion right along with Jesse and Kyle. The love these two had for each other was so obvious throughout everything they went through, before and after the attack. They had such an awesome support system in their friends and family. I was rooting for them the whole time and I had no doubts that they would come out stronger in the end.
November 2, 2016
FULL REVIEW POSTED:
4.5-4.75 stars!
First things first, holy hell the angst level in this book is HIGH. But I loved every second of this. The two MC's; Kyle and Jesse, were already in a committed relationship when we started this book which is not something we see everyday but nice nonetheless.
But things changed drastically when they were attacked during the Pride and instead of planning a wedding they were planning on surviving and hoping to get better as days went on and to hopefully see a tomorrow. This book was a true test to their relationship. They'd now seen each other through their worst and it was a matter of getting better and having your life back as much as you could.
It wasn't easy. Oh man, I cried, and at times I desperately wanted to punch something because it was just so unfair. Hate crime is very real and it just sucks. Because weather you love a man or a women, everyone is just a human and deserves happiness.
Their journey is something I would recommend everyone reads and enjoys. Its realistic and something that does happen in life. I can't relate but I did feel like I was living their journey. It will break your heart at times, make you want to cry but it will also heal you.
Loved it!!!!!!
4.5-4.75 stars!
First things first, holy hell the angst level in this book is HIGH. But I loved every second of this. The two MC's; Kyle and Jesse, were already in a committed relationship when we started this book which is not something we see everyday but nice nonetheless.
But things changed drastically when they were attacked during the Pride and instead of planning a wedding they were planning on surviving and hoping to get better as days went on and to hopefully see a tomorrow. This book was a true test to their relationship. They'd now seen each other through their worst and it was a matter of getting better and having your life back as much as you could.
It wasn't easy. Oh man, I cried, and at times I desperately wanted to punch something because it was just so unfair. Hate crime is very real and it just sucks. Because weather you love a man or a women, everyone is just a human and deserves happiness.
Their journey is something I would recommend everyone reads and enjoys. Its realistic and something that does happen in life. I can't relate but I did feel like I was living their journey. It will break your heart at times, make you want to cry but it will also heal you.
Loved it!!!!!!
September 30, 2021
I'm totally going to be in the minority on this one, but the writing just didn't work for me at all. The dialogue was awkward, and there was too much rehashing the same thoughts, over and over. It kept me from being able to connect with the characters. I mean, it was okay? It's just a bummer that I didn't like it more, because I was really excited about this one.
October 8, 2016
A Joyfully Jay review.
5 stars
begin writing some reviews thinking that whatever I say I will be unable to do justice to the story and the author. This is one of those times. Defenseless is emotional and intense and each time I stopped reading, my thoughts were filled with Jesse, Kyle, and the events of the novel. It is no detriment to A.J. Rose that I could not finish Defenseless in one sitting. In fact, it is a testament to the brilliance of her writing because the story left me so reflective and agonized for her characters and the drama they so unfairly face.
Although Defenseless is a gay romance, it is inclusive of the whole LGBT+ community and even forces heterosexual people to think about their treatment of those minority groups. Kyle is bisexual and unfortunately has to deal with prejudice from his own parents, though it is his relationship with his father that suffers the most.
I could not get away from the fact that Defenseless made me feel so much and Rose also gives her reader some really beautiful and hopeful moments. It is without a doubt that Jesse and Kyle’s relationship is strained, but we understand that these are two men who need each other and the love they share is overwhelming. I also really liked Bobby, Kyle’s brother, who is initially portrayed as the joker but actually becomes one of the couple’s main cheerleaders. There is a wonderful speech made by Bobby in the story’s epilogue which summarizes all he has felt and I had one of the biggest lumps in my throat.
Read Kirsty’s review in its entirety here.
5 stars
begin writing some reviews thinking that whatever I say I will be unable to do justice to the story and the author. This is one of those times. Defenseless is emotional and intense and each time I stopped reading, my thoughts were filled with Jesse, Kyle, and the events of the novel. It is no detriment to A.J. Rose that I could not finish Defenseless in one sitting. In fact, it is a testament to the brilliance of her writing because the story left me so reflective and agonized for her characters and the drama they so unfairly face.
Although Defenseless is a gay romance, it is inclusive of the whole LGBT+ community and even forces heterosexual people to think about their treatment of those minority groups. Kyle is bisexual and unfortunately has to deal with prejudice from his own parents, though it is his relationship with his father that suffers the most.
I could not get away from the fact that Defenseless made me feel so much and Rose also gives her reader some really beautiful and hopeful moments. It is without a doubt that Jesse and Kyle’s relationship is strained, but we understand that these are two men who need each other and the love they share is overwhelming. I also really liked Bobby, Kyle’s brother, who is initially portrayed as the joker but actually becomes one of the couple’s main cheerleaders. There is a wonderful speech made by Bobby in the story’s epilogue which summarizes all he has felt and I had one of the biggest lumps in my throat.
Read Kirsty’s review in its entirety here.
September 13, 2016
WOW. This is one super heavy book. Extremely well written, the characters are incredible and fully fleshed out. I had a real hard time reading this book, and had to put it down a few times, it hits you emotionally so hard! AJ Rose puts the reader through every single emotion available and it is glorious. I would recommend this book to ANYONE. I know I'll be reading it again and will be looking for more from this extremely talented author.
I received this book for free for an honest review.
I received this book for free for an honest review.
October 17, 2021
An emotional rollercoaster that unfortunately I was just not in the right frame of mind to read. I definitely need to put this on a must reread list. Hence only 4 stars though probably worthy of 5. Liked how we got differing pov's from other characters not just the mc's.
September 21, 2021
This was heavy and emotional. Some stuff was really difficult to get through. Glad I picked this one up though.
September 19, 2016
This is a story about what happens when your world is turned upside down. Jesse and Kyle's world is torn apart when they are brutally attacked for being gay. Kyle is hurt but Jesse is permanently injured . These 2 men were in love and planning their lives together when this happened. Now they have to learn how to deal with what happened and the after math of it as well. Kyle feels guilty for being OK and does his best to take care of Jesse. Kyle is also dealing with family problems. Jesse is angry about what happened and how he couldnt protect himself and Kyle. Both Jesse and Kyle are keeping things from each other which isnt helping their relationship. When it all comes out they find themselves not knowing what to do. Their families are there for them for the most part but they cant fix their problems. Jesse gets help but Kyle doesnt so that strains them even more. My heart breaks for these 2, you can tell they love each other but with all that happened to then they cant seem to forgive each other. AJ;s writing was great and it drew me in from the beginning. It has all the elements of a great book. It has love and conflict. Jesse and Kyle's story was one of love and moving on from a tragedy. In the end they get their HEA and find out that love does concur all.
*ARC provided by Author in exchange for an honest review.
Reviewed by Jodi from Alpha Book Club
*ARC provided by Author in exchange for an honest review.
Reviewed by Jodi from Alpha Book Club
October 16, 2016
WOW !
I defy anyone to read Jesse and Kyle's story without shedding a tear, without wanting to throw their kindle out the window, without cursing up a storm not just at the people who hurt Jesse and Kyle, but also at the author. From chapter one this has to be one of the most emotionally draining books i've EVER read. When i read this i found it hard to differentiate between fact and fiction,....I felt as though i was reading and following a real life event, that Jesse and Kyle were a part of my family and i was following there every step to get justice. Seeing exactly how what was meant to be one of the happiest days of their lives turned out to be their worst nightmare,,,,How they coped in the aftermath,,,,,,
In my opinion i would say AJ set a precedent with this book, and anyone who tries to follow in the footsteps of AJ and write a similar story has a LOT to live up to. Also, the way AJ wrote how family members reacted to what happened was superb, showing that while they may be ok with who they loved, the problem they had was how the outside world would perceive them for it.
This has got to be one of if not THE BEST book i've read this year !!
Kudos AJ, you broke me but you also fixed me again.
I defy anyone to read Jesse and Kyle's story without shedding a tear, without wanting to throw their kindle out the window, without cursing up a storm not just at the people who hurt Jesse and Kyle, but also at the author. From chapter one this has to be one of the most emotionally draining books i've EVER read. When i read this i found it hard to differentiate between fact and fiction,....I felt as though i was reading and following a real life event, that Jesse and Kyle were a part of my family and i was following there every step to get justice. Seeing exactly how what was meant to be one of the happiest days of their lives turned out to be their worst nightmare,,,,How they coped in the aftermath,,,,,,
In my opinion i would say AJ set a precedent with this book, and anyone who tries to follow in the footsteps of AJ and write a similar story has a LOT to live up to. Also, the way AJ wrote how family members reacted to what happened was superb, showing that while they may be ok with who they loved, the problem they had was how the outside world would perceive them for it.
This has got to be one of if not THE BEST book i've read this year !!
Kudos AJ, you broke me but you also fixed me again.
September 28, 2016
I'd rate this a solid 3.5 stars. The subject matter was great, two men in love at the time of the SCOTUS ruling on marriage equality. Unfortunately, I felt the first half of the book dragged on and on. I get the author tried to paint the picture of the aftermath of the incident that happened to the MCs. But it felt more like filler and made my interest in the MCs wain. About half-way through, I almost didn't finish the book.
However, the last half had a much better tempo and I got re-invested in seeing how this story ended for the MCs.
However, the last half had a much better tempo and I got re-invested in seeing how this story ended for the MCs.
March 5, 2017
I 'enjoyed ' this book alot. I am not sure if enjoyed is the correct word for it given the subject matter.
I liked how the length of the book allowed things to be explored and things not having to be skimmed over.
Its a powerful topic - gay bashing and whats happens to those involved in the aftermath.
I thought the whole book realistic with everybody's reactions to the events. Despite everything the MCs do get their HEA which is important.
I liked how the length of the book allowed things to be explored and things not having to be skimmed over.
Its a powerful topic - gay bashing and whats happens to those involved in the aftermath.
I thought the whole book realistic with everybody's reactions to the events. Despite everything the MCs do get their HEA which is important.
January 11, 2020
Like much of what A.J. Rose writes, you believe the story is 1. something that has impacted or affects her deeply; 2. is thoughtfully researched and grounded in true-to-life experiences; and 3. will move you if you give it a chance. The story here isn't pretty, and it's not meant to be all hearts and flowers or in any way a riff on two normal guys who have to navigate some modicum of social woes to make it to their HEA. And THANK GOD FOR THAT! This is something that has happened and continues to happen daily in this country. Being beaten or killed for who we choose to love and having the nerve to express it publicly is just more than most homophobes can take. Men who beat on other men because of their sexual orientation or gender expression, like those who prey on women or anyone who they believe is "less than" in their world view are worse than cowards, worse than bullies, worse than scum. In fact, if they were the "manly men" they proclaim to be, their snowflake sensibilities should be able to withstand these assaults on their sensibilities. Of course those of us who are more enlightened see this behavior for what it is. Fear and panic based on these feelings they have or had at some time or other. These are the kind of cowards who can feel vindicated for beating up a gay or trans person but will run away from their actions when accountability is required. In my opinion if you're going to act in those ways and feel that you have the "right" as a "heterosexual" male to do so, then you should proclaim what you did and why you did it, standing by your behavior. Of course, again we know that their inner cowardice always wins out as they claim a "gay panic" defense-- which thankfully has been outlawed in most states as the sham it has proven to be. So...that's a lot to get to the point that Defenseless is more about the aftermath of such a craven attack on two men (Kyle and Jesse) on their way home from Pride celebrations, newly engaged in the wake of the Supreme Court's gay marriage ruling...who are at the wrong place at the wrong time. Rose takes the time to give us insight into Kyle and Jesse's relationship before the attack, through their hospital recuperation and then into the reverberations from the attack within their relationship and with their families. This is where Rose's craft really shines through. The physical repercussions of their injuries (particularly Jessie's) are well documented and grounded in what most of us never know in the aftermath of such a heinous gay bashing, which is what the victim has to endure when their new normal means they will never be the same person physically as before the attack. It also shows us the psychology of survivors who must navigate what it means to protect vs. over-protect and make assumptions that are meant to be helpful and healing, but which actually become destructive in even the most healthy of relationships. This is a tough journey in and of itself, then we have the trial-- which is another study in how victims are often put under the microscope and made to feel at blame for what happened. Reading those passages were the toughest for me. However, having worked in this world (in terms of child abuse) I know how the system exists to the smallest extent believable to protect the victim. It's heartbreaking but ultimately cleansing and freeing to watch how Kyle and Jesse weather all these obstacles and come out on the other side, still together, stronger and able to face the future given the parameters of their altered physical beings and relationship with themselves, their families and each other.
March 8, 2017
I will admit to you that I avoided reading this novel. I knew it would gut me in many ways. I knew this because AJ Rose has become one of the finest m/m authors in the genre today when it comes to writing characters that literally crawl inside you and become part of you in just so many good ways. Her writing has grown stronger and more sophisticated with each story she writes, and I most assuredly understood that writing a book whose topic was so very near and dear to her heart would result in an outstanding piece of literature. And I was not wrong. So I waited. I steeled myself to the knowledge that this novel would own me in many ways, and that its characters would not leave me alone—they and their story would haunt me—and I was right. I am gutted in so many good ways.
If you have read the blurb then you know what this book is about, and I am not going to waste time on trying to do any further unpacking of the narrative since to add much more would be to give away too much of the plot. Instead, I am going to tell you why this novel is an important read for anyone who has ever doubted that the gay community has suffered at the hands of bigots, and has the scars to prove it. In Defenseless, we watch the dismantling and reconstruction of two men whose lives are irreparably changed forever. Through the skill of a talented and intelligent author, we are taken on their journey through great joy to bottomless despair and back again. We are privy to the nightmare their lives become after an attack that leaves one of them nearly dead and the other burdened with survivor guilt that runs so deep it almost suffocates them both.
We watch with a heavy heart and often tear-filled eyes as two men attempt to put their lives back together and survive the soul-crushing hate that nearly became their undoing. This novel is visceral—you can hear the boot as it strikes Jesse. This novel is intense—you breathe in the panic and fear that haunts Jesse and Kyle when they attempt to begin living life again after their attack. This novel is rich in emotion, long in the path toward recovery and realistic in its approach to what it takes for a survivor of gay bashing to piece together their lives again. But, most importantly, this story, this incredibly painful, beautiful story, speaks of the triumph of love—not a sugar coated, all will be well kind, but a gritty, strong, surviving kind. A love that dips and plunges into dark places and nearly meets its demise but, like the phoenix, rises from the ashes to soar again.
Author AJ Rose uses her gift as a storyteller to weave a tale that draws forth every emotion, from anger to laughter to love, and she does so with the hope that we will begin to understand that gay bashing leaves a long-lasting mark on all of society and not just its victims. She reminds us that it takes such incredible strength and determination to rise above the fear and despair violence wreaks upon the innocent, and she does so with a beautifully triumphant story that reminds us that love can anchor us even in the darkest of storms.
I highly recommend Defenseless to you.
Reviewed by Sammy for The Novel Approach Reviews
If you have read the blurb then you know what this book is about, and I am not going to waste time on trying to do any further unpacking of the narrative since to add much more would be to give away too much of the plot. Instead, I am going to tell you why this novel is an important read for anyone who has ever doubted that the gay community has suffered at the hands of bigots, and has the scars to prove it. In Defenseless, we watch the dismantling and reconstruction of two men whose lives are irreparably changed forever. Through the skill of a talented and intelligent author, we are taken on their journey through great joy to bottomless despair and back again. We are privy to the nightmare their lives become after an attack that leaves one of them nearly dead and the other burdened with survivor guilt that runs so deep it almost suffocates them both.
We watch with a heavy heart and often tear-filled eyes as two men attempt to put their lives back together and survive the soul-crushing hate that nearly became their undoing. This novel is visceral—you can hear the boot as it strikes Jesse. This novel is intense—you breathe in the panic and fear that haunts Jesse and Kyle when they attempt to begin living life again after their attack. This novel is rich in emotion, long in the path toward recovery and realistic in its approach to what it takes for a survivor of gay bashing to piece together their lives again. But, most importantly, this story, this incredibly painful, beautiful story, speaks of the triumph of love—not a sugar coated, all will be well kind, but a gritty, strong, surviving kind. A love that dips and plunges into dark places and nearly meets its demise but, like the phoenix, rises from the ashes to soar again.
Author AJ Rose uses her gift as a storyteller to weave a tale that draws forth every emotion, from anger to laughter to love, and she does so with the hope that we will begin to understand that gay bashing leaves a long-lasting mark on all of society and not just its victims. She reminds us that it takes such incredible strength and determination to rise above the fear and despair violence wreaks upon the innocent, and she does so with a beautifully triumphant story that reminds us that love can anchor us even in the darkest of storms.
I highly recommend Defenseless to you.
Reviewed by Sammy for The Novel Approach Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews