I want to begin with something he doesn’t say – that empathy is a problem rather than a solution. Empathy is from Greek and means in common feeling. This commonality is the problem here and something that Han spends a lot of time discussing as a feature of neoliberal capitalism. Neoliberal capitalism is different from the capitalism Marx was concerned with. That form of capitalism pitted worker against capitalist and so there was a kind of common life experience and a common enemy that workers faced. But neoliberal capitalism is more closely aligned with a kind of Hobbesian war of all against each – or rather, a war of self against self. We have become ‘authentic’ in the sense that we see ourselves as projects to perfect. In this world, we are self-exploiting. We differentiate ourselves by our competition with ourselves. In such a world, a revolution is impossible, since it would be a war against ourselves.
We define ourselves by our purchases – our labour is a commodity, and our identities are also commodities. We have been sold a myth of self-perfectibility on the basis of positive psychology. But the elimination of the negative involves the elimination of the other. We are confronted with a world of sameness. In such a world, we are attracted to those we identify with and so everything becomes a kind of bland sameness, where all difference is avoided. Positivity itself is the problem here, since it is only in confronting the negative that true growth is possible. This has been something that has been known for a very long time and has been a key feature of human rituals – not least in rites of passage which, virtually by definition, involve a kind of death and resurrection into the new, a process that always involves the kind of pain that we generally shun today in our world of hyper-positivity.
Empathy, then, is something we tend to show to people we can identify with – I can show you empathy if I can ‘walk a mile in your shoes’. The problem is that the true other is not someone we can imagine walking in their shoes. At one time, this was the lesson of literature. Today, so much of literature is based on excruciating life experiences of people we can only identify with in the abstract – the victims of Nazi prison guards, those suffering the unspeakable isolation of severe illness, people who have lost everything. But the other who would really shake us from our lethargy are not these tragic figures, but rather those who, like Socrates, were out-of-place. People who are objects beyond the everyday. As he says, “The word ‘object’ comes from the Latin verb obicere, which means ‘throw at’, ‘put towards’ or ‘reproach’.” Something you might object against – the negative in a world of endless positives. Here we do not feel empathy, but rather a challenge. We do not walk in their shoes, but rather go into a kind of life-affirming battle with this other to test our own mettle and to overcome our own limitations. Such military illusions are perhaps necessary in the sense that in standing in opposition to empathy, such an attitude requires more than an understanding of the other, but an openness to risk one’s self in the confrontation. In empathy, we tend to remain the measure of others – in confronting a character like Socrates we must challenge our own taken-for-granted assumptions and ways of being. Empathy, in this sense, then, is a kind of additive process, were we see others as yet another life-style we could, if we chose, have adopted. In confronting the other, we risk our own death.
Interestingly, Han doesn’t really use these military metaphors, but rather metaphors of seduction. He doubts we are today capable of seduction. We are much more likely to turn away from eros towards pornography. In pornography, we are either male or female – everything that is hidden in seduction is transparent in pornography. Pornography has all of the negative traits of desire with none of the possibility of transcendence seduction offers. Love is not pornographic – but seduction involves an openness to the other that is psychologically more naked than the superficial nudity of pornography can offer.
In seduction, what is desired most is what can never be simply assimilated into ourselves. We do not want to become the other, but rather to become at one with the other. And this implies the most important gift we can offer the other as the object of our desire – the gift of listening to them. Listening is a gift that must be offered before the other begins talking. To truly hear them, we must first show we are prepared to listen. And this listening is not merely transformative to the other, but to ourselves. As such, it is not a gathering of information about the other, but an openness to ourselves being transformed in the very act of our own listening. Such an openness is the opposite of what positive psychology offers us. Positive psychology offers us a better version of ourselves, but this confrontation with the other we seek to seduce offers us more than a better version of ourselves, but rather a transformation in who we are – a kind of rebirth, a kind of death. He makes the point that the blandness of self-perfection has reduced many of us to finding our only means of feeling anything at all is through self-harm. Where cutting ourselves or bulimia are epidemic now because they offer an escape from the everyday and the stultifying sameness of self-perfection.
It puts this in a kind of aphorism – much of his short books are really strings of aphorisms – by saying, “Seduction takes place in a space where signifiers circulate without being confronted by the signified.” That is, like our concept of love itself, we have endless words we use to point towards what we mean by it, but none that fully capture its essence. This is eros in a kind of pure form – beyond mere desire – where desire is that which we want while we cannot have it, while this form of eros is a never completed dance we never finish learning, forever offering more, forever surprising us not only with what we learn about the other, but who we become in seeking to learn.
Compared to the blandness of self-perfection, such openness to self-transformation through listening to the other and a willingness to being seduced by them is liberating beyond most of our ability to contemplate. And this is our only hope of redemption. As he says, “Only eros is capable of freeing the I from depression, from narcissistic entanglement in itself. From this perspective, the Other is a redemptive formula. Only eros, which pulls me out of myself and towards the Other, can overcome depression.”
Rather than empathy, the allusion is to Kant’s notion of hospitality – a word Kant himself said was wrong, but that he could think of none better, in his work Perpetual Peace. Here the rational person is forced to the conclusion, in a global political version of Kant’s categorical imperative, to offer hospitality to the stranger. This acceptance of the other is the basis of all moral feeling – but as Han makes clear, it is also the precondition for our own self-transcendence.
This is an absurdly short book – but as I said, it is more a book of aphorisms, more poetry than prose – and if you approach it like poetry, there is much here to consider. As a critique of the modern condition, it offers a path to salvation few other books consider. As someone who believes we have become atomised by neoliberal society – any recognition that our engaging with others, particularly those we will never understand enough to be merely in empathy with, is a step in the right direction.
Some quotes
“The pathological sign of our times is not repression but depression.”
“The violence of the Same is invisible because of its positivity.”
“Correlation is the most primitive form of knowledge, being not even capable of ascertaining the relationship between cause and effect. It is so. The question of why becomes irrelevant; thus nothing is understood. But knowledge is understanding. Hence Big Data renders thought superfluous. We surrender ourselves without concern to the it-is-so.”
“The numerical makes everything countable and comparable. Thus it perpetuates the Same.”
“Being-human then means being-connected to Others.”
“It does not seduce. Pornography carries out a complete de-narrativization and de-lingualization not only of the body, but of communication as such; therein lies its obscenity. It is impossible to play with the naked flesh.”
“Naked, pornographic truth permits no play, no seduction. Sexuality as functional performance likewise drives out all forms of play; it becomes entirely mechanical. The neoliberal imperative of performance, sexiness and fitness ultimately reduces the body to a functional object that is to be optimized.”
“It sets up a ‘banopticon’ that identifies those who are hostile or unsuited to the system as undesirable and excludes them. The Panopticon serves to discipline, while the banopticon provides security.”
“It prescribes that one must equal only oneself and define oneself only through oneself – indeed, that one must be the author and creator of oneself.”
“Singularity is something entirely different from authenticity.”
“The Other is bent into shape until the ego recognizes itself in them.”
“Today, we flee desperately from the negative instead of dwelling on it. Holding on to the positive, however, only reproduces the Same.”
“In all rites of passages, one dies a death in order to be reborn beyond the threshold.”
“Two mouthfuls of silence might contain more closeness, more language than hypercommunication. Silence is language, but the noise of communication is not.”
“Today, we live in a post-Marxist age. In the neoliberal regime, exploitation no longer takes place as alienation and self-derealization, but as freedom, as self-realization and self-optimization.”
“Today, the silent voice of the Other is drowned out by the noise of the Same.”
“All attention is focused on the ego. It is surely the task of art and literature to de-mirror our perception, to open it up to the counterpart, for the Other – as a person or an object.”
“Listening is not a passive act. It is distinguished by a special activity: first I must welcome the Other, which means affirming the Other in their otherness. Then I give them an ear. Listening is a bestowal, a giving, a gift. It helps the Other to speak in the first place.”
“The art of listening takes place as an art of breathing. The hospitable welcoming of the Other is an inhalation, yet one that does not absorb the Other, but instead harbours and preserves them.”
“The ego is incapable of listening. The space of listening as a resonance chamber of the Other opens up where the ego is suspended. The narcissistic ego is replaced with a possession by the other, a desire for the Other.”
“But anyone who seeks to evade injury completely will experience nothing; the negativity of injury inheres in every deep experience, every deep insight.… The wound is the opening through which the Other enters.”
“Community is listenership.”
“Today, everyone is somehow on their own with themselves, with their suffering, with their fears. Suffering is privatized and individualized.”