Bumbling Into Body Hair: Tales of an Accident-Prone Transsexual

by Everett Maroon

A poignant and sincere memoir about a klutz’s sex change, Bumbling into Body Hair shows how a sense of humor, along with true love, can triumph over the magnitude of the life changes one experiences transitioning. Maroon found himself faced with bathroom drama, hair disasters, resurrected breasts, and crippling self-doubt, but his acceptance of being a transman can be an inspiration to anyone, of any gender.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Transgender, LGBT, Queer, Biography, Gender Studies

255 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 15, 2012

About the author

Everett Maroon is a memoirist, pop culture commentator, and speculative fiction writer. He has a B.A. in English from Syracuse University and went through an English literature master’s program there. He is a member of the Pacific Northwest Writer’s Association; Bumbling into Body Hair was a finalist in their 2010 literary contest for memoir. Everett writes about writing and living in the Northwest at trans/plant/portation. He has written for Bitch Magazine, GayYA.org, RH RealityCheck, Original Plumbing, and Remedy Quarterly. He has had short stories published by SPLIT Quarterly and Twisted Dreams Magazine, and has a short story, "Cursed" in The Collection: Short Fiction from the Transgender Vanguard, from Topside Press. Bumbling into Body Hair is published by Booktrope Editions. His forthcoming young adult novel, The Unintentional Time Traveler, is forthcoming from Booktrope in the summer of 2013.

Everett lives in Walla Walla, Washington, with his partner and baby son. He is originally from Hightstown, New Jersey, graduating from McCorristin Catholic High School.

Reviews

[Jules Vilmur · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everett Maroon is a nice, geeky and sometimes-clumsy guy with body issues. Ok, so maybe those issues are more complex than most, but for the readers of “Bumbling Into Body Hair” that works in our favor. Maroon's memoir traces his occasionally fumbling expedition through the landscape of gender awareness and transition with wit, insight and the deft touch of a talented writer.

It is not a transgender story so much as a human story, one about embracing change, forging ahead when we're terrified, finding self-respect along the way and surrounding ourselves with people who give us the space and support to be who we are.

Having read a handful of transition-related memoirs, “Bumbling …” stands out as the most charming and accessible of the lot. To infuse such a weighty subject with this kind of poignancy and humor is a delicate task, which he manages to make seem effortless. (Battling a roll of plastic wrap, not so much.)

Maroon touches on the variety of isms he encounters as perceptions around him change but he does not labor over it. He puts his activism into practice rather than preaching it. Whether it's learning the secrets of the corporate men's room, chatting up strangers in public places like a real-life PSA or navigating the mad maze of the healthcare system, he does so with humanity and aplomb.

Not only would I recommend this book for people in the trans community, but I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys a great story with a clear and unique voice, a hero you can't help but fall a little bit in love with and a heroine who clearly deserves the adoration of the masses.

The journey of becoming who we've always been is invariably touched with sadness and yet, it is one of hope. In defining ourselves rather than letting other people define us, we come closer to the secret to joy and there is no question that Everett Maroon has achieved that. Joining him on this voyage through the laughter and tears is a rare treat.

[S.B. (Beauty in Ruins) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although Everett Maroon's Bumbling into Body Hair is subtitled "A Transsexual's Memoir," he initially comes across as genderqueer (as opposed to transsexual), which adds a rather unique aspect to both the story and his development. There's a sense of self-discovery, self-definition, and (ultimately) self-recognition that accompanies the story, providing us with insight into the doubt and confusion that so many transgendered individuals experience, but are reluctant to share.

Make no mistake, by the end of the tale, Everett does successfully transition from female to male. That's not a spoiler, just an acknowledgement of the author's place within the story. It's okay if you're not quite sure what a transsexual is, or how one goes about becoming one, because for much of his life he didn't know either. It's only through his interactions with others, his often ill-conceived attempts at self-expression, and his conversations with a therapist that he comes to understand and accept the boy inside the geek.

This is an honest, heartfelt, and often self-depreciating journey, full of humour and heartache, marked by an awkward relationship triangle that seems to do as much to hold him back as it does to propel him forward. It's often a frustrating read, making you want to pull him aside for a heart-to-heart, but the way in which he bumbles through those challenges is what makes the read. There's no narrow-minded focus or pinpoint goal being pursued here, no realization of a lifelong dream. Instead, what we have is a personal journey through what makes a man . . . even if he wasn't quite born that way.

As I was reading it, I kept thinking that the book's only real failing was its lack of emotion. Everett comes across as upbeat, friendly, and optimistic, but I felt as if he wasn't being entirely open about the negative emotions in his life. Things like being rejected by family, being spit on by strangers on a bus, and breaking up with friends and lovers are almost shrugged off. The expressions of pain and sorrow that we know he must be feeling simply aren't shared with the reader. It wasn't until the last 50 pages or so, when he has a conversation about how differently men express their emotions, that it all clicked. That emotional detachment isn't a failing on his part, but a representation of his true gender.

Overall, an interesting story, and a unique perspective on the journey of gender. I think what I appreciated most was that while Everett may question his gender and his gender expression, he never wavers in his sexuality. He raises some interesting question as to whether being seen as a 'straight' couple negates his being a lesbian, but he never lets those questions interfere with his affections. All too often it seems the issue of sexuality gets all muddled up and confused with gender, the two intricately tied together, but Everett's journey is definitely one-sided . . . as it should be.


As published on Bending the Bookshelf

[Jesse · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to read an advance copy of this book. The author is humorous and authentic and paints a great portrait of navigating work, friendships, family, and relationships through transition. Not your typical transition memoir - and thank goodness for that!

[Barbara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved reading this book! It's hilarious, well-written and readable. There were parts where I laughed out loud every single page (and I was reading on a Kindle, so those were some small pages). This book was written by my friend, and I read and commented on some early drafts. And I have seen its growth over a number of years. Go Ev!

[Anthony · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the first trans* memoir I've read (and I can guarantee it won't be the last). It's been on my To Be Read pile for over a year. I've bantered with Everett on Twitter and Facebook, so I knew he's funny and occasionally self-effacing, and also brave and bold and loving. But I still wasn't sure what kind of memoir this would be, outside of "comical." Would it be Everett's whole life story, from birth to transition? Would it be a chronicle of painful teen years of self-discovery? Would it be as funny as the cover claimed it would be?

Let's get that last question out of the way first: yes, it's as funny as it claims to be. Probably funnier. Everett's lense is one of hind-sight self-awareness, and it serves him well in relating the above-mentioned hair disasters (hours before a major gay pride parade), "resurrected breasts" (post-op inflammation, which should not be as funny as Everett makes it), and other every-day scenarios (like being warned, after announcing his transition and getting a promotion, not to visit the men's room on his new floor after 2pm. Not because the straight guys are worried about Trans* cooties, but because one particular co-worker has a rather pungent deposit to make every day at that time).

As to what type of coming-out memoir it is: Everett starts his story in adulthood, with the slow realization that she's not actually happy as Jenifer Maroon, and what that realization means for her relationship with a transistioning partner named Pat. This stretch of Everett's story is full of self-doubt, depression, anxiety, secrets, battles with Pat -- and it's all related openly, honestly but not brutally. Everett tries to be as fair as he can, given this is a personal memoir, to the friends and partner who left when he announced he was trans* -- which might be a bit more than I'd be able to do if I were writing a memoir about one of the more tumultuous and painful parts of my own adult life.

Therapy helps, and finding community online. Once Everett begins his transition in earnest, there's still pain and confusion, but the tone of the memoir changes. Subtly at first, but the hope and humor of the prologue reasserts itself. You can feel Everett's growing relief that he's finally made a decision that he's needed to make for several years, and that he's got the support of a new partner (Susanne), friends and family. Even when the complications from top surgery kick in, there's a lightness of spirit that shows just how right the decision to transition was.

I could ramble on for more and more paragraphs, but the bottom line is this: while Everett's experience is not every trans* person's experience, his experience is just as valid as everyone else's, and for those of us who aren't trans*, this is a damn good place to start understanding what trans* folks go through in order to transistion.

[Jason · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bumbling into Body Hair embraces life in all its complexity with humor, sensitivity and determination. It is a must read if you are considering transitioning, interested in social justice, love a good biography, or merely a connoisseur of excellent books that are filled with humor, meaning, and drama. Bumbling into Body Hair will have you laughing page after page. Everett refers to his sense of humor as the “best coping skill ever” and his pithy and ironic insights are hysterical. One of my favorite lines describes a certain professional within a tacky office environment as “an Ewok in a beige galaxy…” That still cracks me up!

Everett is a fantastic writer. His prose is that of a refined and astute observer. His ability to convey the emotional tone as well as the meaning of a situation is right on. You will be on the edge of your seat waiting to see what happens next whether Everett is being pulled through a window by an air conditioner, or daring to ask the socially awkward question, “How exactly do you want these radishes cut?”

Bumbling into Body Hair is also a profoundly psychological and personal book. Everett allows us to join him on his journey of self-discovery so that we may share in his experiences and, perhaps, learn something new along the way. Everett shares with us his feelings of hurt and confusion at the behaviors of a few unbelievably rude individuals. He then sets a brave example of determination as he pushes beyond the prejudices of others to express his own authentic self. Bumbling into Body Hair is entertaining, informative and important. Broaden your perspective by reading Bumbling into Body Hair. I highly recommend it!

*This review is based upon an advance copy of the book.

[Kevin Craig · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review from my review blog, Try This Book: http://trythisbookonforsize.blogspot.ca/


Every once in a while, a book will come along that has it all. The story is engaging and poignant and the writing is beautiful and the writer’s sense of humour is the icing on the cake. Bumbling into Body Hair is one of those books. From page one, I was fully engaged. Maroon’s wonderful sense of humour came through as strongly as his beautiful, lyrical prose.

A memoir, Bumbling into Body Hair is the story of Everett’s transition from Jenifer. But it’s so much more than that. It’s a story of family, work environments, friendships—lost and won, acceptance and letting go…and the myriad of emotions and struggles that come with each one of these things. It’s a human story—a story of strength and fear, courage and challenge. And love.

We all want to belong. We all want to be stable and emotionally happy. And we hope our family and friends want the same things for us that we ourselves want. Maroon showed us what happens when these things don’t align and when they do. Seeing his family adapt to Everett was touching and at times deeply poignant. I loved that he allowed us in to witness the way his mother tried so hard to make Everett know she was proud of him and loved him. There were no walls of protection between Everett, his family and friends and the reader. We were allowed to see the good, the bad and the ugly. And even the ugly was delivered with the same finesse and wonderful sense of humour as the rest of the story. This made the punches slightly less painful, in some way, but no less poignant.

Reading about Everett’s milestones throughout the process was wonderful. As a reader, I was ecstatic when Robyn came into Everett’s life. I believe the right people show up at the right time. This was never truer than when Everett came across this angel of a therapist who basically showed him how to blossom and be himself. The little moments when co-workers and family showed him small kindnesses that pretty much brought me to tears were so heart-warming. “I left for lunch and walked back to my office barely twenty minutes later. Fatima had changed the name plate outside my door to read Everett Maroon. Touched by the thought, I also liked how it looked and put my hand on the sign as if Fatima would sense me thanking her from the other building.” Moments like that make this story SO worth the read.

This is not a story without villains (see ‘the ugly’ mentioned above). My anger was palpable when Everett explained some of the scenes he had with his ex, Pat. I kept waiting for even a small clue that there was some redeeming quality to this bully of a person…but I never did see it. Perhaps what redeemed him in the end was that Everett was able to wash his hands of him. As a reader, I was HAPPY to see him go. Without his exit, we would not have seen Everett's relationship with the lovely Susanne...the girl he would eventually marry. And Jeffrey. I still find myself hoping that he eventually came around. The dynamic Everett shared with him seemed real, palpable. That it ended badly seemed like such a waste of a valuable friendship to me. Jeffrey’s stubbornness in the situation was infuriating. To hold Everett accountable at such a huge turning-point moment in his life was unacceptable to me. I kept hoping he would come to his senses.

Every large transition a person goes through is bound to have supporters and naysayers. This look into the transition of Jenifer into Everett, and the life-story in which it is enshrouded, is such a lovely one. The reader had the opportunity to see Everett grow into the person he somehow always knew he was, while at the same time coming into his own in the business world and finding a woman to love along the way. This was Everett’s story, but it could have been anyone’s. We all have families, co-workers, friends. Some—well, we know we can only count on them for so much. While others—they’re in for the long haul. They only want what everybody should want—for their loved ones to find happiness. This was an exquisite story (exquisitely written) of one man and his slightly hilarious, often poignant road to happiness.

Expectation: This SO exceeded my expectations. I expected a funny read and a touching one...but not such a deep experience. The prose in this book was beautiful. Maroon has a wonderful voice and I hope to one day see it dabble in fiction. (-: Go and get this book now! I guarantee you will love it!

[Drema Deòraich · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t usually read memoirs, as a rule. I never thought they would interest me. I was wrong. Bumbling Into Body Hair is a story of the author’s transition from Jenifer to Everett, and all the emotional, social and psychological transitions that accompanied him along the way.

Told with remarkable humor and poignant honesty, Everett’s tale is sometimes raw, frequently hilarious, always moving. The thing that shines brightest on every page is his courage. Throughout the process, despite his self-doubt and the resistance from his partner and some of his best friends, Everett persists in doing what is right for himself – which sometimes required him to slow down. Be sure. Think this thing through. Seemed prudent to me, and to his therapist, who is a true gem in this story.

I read with anger, horror, and flat-out shock at some of the reactions of people around Everett during his transition. One person on the street literally spit in his face. His bowling league manager asked him to use a special bathroom so as to not upset the other patrons of the alley. A cis-male passenger on the metro stood over him shouting, “Are you a man or a woman?” To each of these painful and awkward moments, Everett brought his own special brand of humor, like shouting back at the guy on the metro, “Are you an idiot? Or an asshole?” I think I actually cheered at that.

It seemed to me that his biggest fear was telling his co-workers, friends and family. How would they react? I won’t spoil it by telling you who said or did what, but I will say that not everyone handled the news well, and I can only imagine the betrayal Everett must have felt from people whose support he needed during an already difficult and confusing time. And yet, through faltering relationships and rude strangers and resurrected breasts, the rollercoaster ride of T creams, disastrous experiments with plastic wrap, and learning to use a “packy” (hint: don’t lay it on the radiator), he maintains his sense of humor and hope for a better life.

But Everett’s gender is only one thread in the larger tapestry of his story. At its heart, Bumbling Into Body Hair is a snapshot, a single episode in a much larger story. Because Life doesn’t hit the pause button while we figure these things out, the daily grind continued to throw the usual obstacles at him throughout his journey of discovery. Every reader, no matter their gender, can find some relatable element of Everett’s story, whether it’s his hectic work schedules, his financial struggles, his tendency to be accident-prone, his social adventures and romantic ups and downs. His first date with Susanne was especially endearing, given that we are riding on Everett’s shoulder and feel with him the awkwardness, his certainty that he will do something to screw it up.

My biggest takeaway from this memoir was that those things that matter most to us must be pursued. Despite opposition. Despite fear. Despite self-doubt. Each person’s journey is unique, and while others travel with us, alongside us, each of our journeys are undertaken essentially alone. Everett’s determination to bring his outside into agreement with his inside, no matter what, made me stand up and cheer.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I laughed more through this book than any I have ever read. This was also a compelling read and along the way I was able to pick up a fair amount to be grateful for both in my own life and for the author as she transitioned from Jenifer to Everett.

Everett Maroon understands how to use vivid details to add humor, bring us into a situation, and better understand the subtleties of every aspect of his life. The setting, Washington DC, where I’d spent five years of my life, was wonderfully drawn. The contrast of the ice-cold air conditioned rooms with the stifling heat outside, even the topics of conversation at parties and get-togethers brought back memories. The first scene that put us squarely into Jenifer’s world included a botched dye job and a dyke march under the hot summer sun. Here are a couple lines just so you get an idea:

“Personally, I liked the dancing gay cowboys, but I agreed that the lesbians needed a moment in the sun, which in June in DC, was plentiful if not crushing.”
“So now I looked like an angry, masculine, man-eating lesbian who sweat blood. Perfect.”

The funny parts balance out the scenes that show us the unpleasant aspects of the transition: harassment, confusion, and intense discussions with family members and friends to name a few. Also, the scenes outlining how many forms a person has to fill out to register the gender change with the proper authorities and institutions gives insight into how big a role gender plays in the ways we all deal with each other, and what aspects of a person’s character we take for granted based on their gender. The scenes where we get to see people harass, misunderstand or bully the author gave me much more sympathy for the plight of anyone who struggles through a transition like this.

The author also worked in lots of great bits of education. Did you know that GQ is not just a magazine? A person who identifies as genderqueer doesn’t “identify as male or female but as “something that messed with gender itself.”

I was grateful for the insights into this other world, and also by the end of the book I was grateful that I never had to struggle with my identity in this way. How many of us ever consider something as basic as our gender, or how we describe our sexuality? Part of what made this book special was that I got to understand the countless ways people identify themselves and to understand that there is much more than gay, straight or even transgender that a person could imagine.

[James Femmer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everett Maroon writes an honest and witty memoir about his transition from female to male during his time living in Washington, DC. What makes this book stand out from most memoirs dealing with such a charged subject is the humour. The story begins with a hilarious hair dye disaster during a lesbian march. Everett (who identified as a lesbian before his transition) began to realise that the label just didn't fit. What follows is an earnest account of his attempts to figure himself out while dodging selfish exes, falling air conditioning units, and cat claw attacks.

The process of transition can be a little bit like leading a double life, or having a secret identity (if only it came with super powers!), and this book lets you experience that through Everett's eyes while he meets new people who know him as Everett, and struggles to maintain his relationships with those who still knew him as Jenifer. It's a bumpy road, but eventually he makes it through to the other side.

Transgender readers will see bits and pieces of themselves in the narrative. Cisgender people who have trans* loved ones may come away with new insights into what they are already aware of, and those who have not met any transfolk will no longer be truly ignorant. But above all, the book is wildly entertaining and Everett is a likeable character and engaging storyteller.

[Samantha Boyette · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is as damn near as perfect and enjoyable book as I've found yet. Memoirs aren't really my thing, but I guess they should be. I love to know about other people's lives if they aren't like me.

This book was enlightening and hilarious all at the same time. From page one I was hooked. There are a ton of things that go into living as a man that I never would have thought of before reading this. While I'm sure a lot of the issues can be pretty intense and difficult, they were presented in this book in an easy and amusing way.

I loved that it was seemingly written without taking itself too seriously. It never came across as preachy or message-y. As someone unfamiliar with a lot of the issues, this made it easier for me to get into and enjoy. Though the focus is obviously on the transitioning, it's about so much more than that.

Probably the best thing about the book was that it left me wanting more, which is a good sign when reading someone's life story. I have a feeling that any story this man wants to share would be enjoyable to read.

Hard to put down, easy laughs!

[Holly S. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this memoir by WA State writer Everet Maroon. I read it over a period of several days. Yes, the book reveals insights into a subculture that I didn't know that much about. More importantly, it's a touching story about someone's journey to find their true self. Lots of universal themes: self-acceptance, friendships, family, work relations & expectations. I could relate to a lot of what Everet writes about. For example, I think many of us have a person like Pat in our lives. (Good riddance, Pat!) I'm looking forward to Everet's next memoir.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did actually read this book in one day - I got caught up in the story and just didn't want to put it down. I appreciated learning about his journey and his experiences and how he told the story of transition at a human life level that many people will be to relate too. It is humorous, poignant, stirring, and moving all at once.

I want to say congratulations to Everett too - for living the life that is right for him, for being brave enough to tell his story (and, hey, for getting his story published), for his happy ending.

[Claude Bouchard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very insightful, often humorous, look at someone's important decision to go from female to male. Helped me understand a subject to which I absolutely could not relate previously. The author is a friend of mine.

[Robin]

By a friend / former colleague. Heard great things about it!

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great memoir by a friend.

[Eric Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Witty, well written, super interesting, human. I certainly wasn't expecting to enjoy this book so much. It read more like a novel than a memoir. I definately want to read more by this guy!

[Gail Henry · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recommend this to anyone who doesn't have any experience with the transgender community.

[Michael Mardel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Bumbling into body hair by Maroon could also be called Bumbling into manhood. Everett is telling his story of what it was like becoming a transman. It seems true enough as there are so many instances that parallel my history and that of my friends. Maroon seems to make the right choices at the right time, even though he's not sure how far down the gender trail he wants to go. Is his hesitancy because of his ex Pat? It's not all plain sailing and his so-called mutilation of his chest (thank Califia for that one) nearly sees him undone. Will he ever get his name changes completely covered? Will he survive his marriage day? There is plenty to keep the reader on their toes, hoping, like I did, that he would make the grade.

[Cindy Young-Turner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful memoir that is at times heart-wrenching and touching with a dash of humor. I applaud Everett for having the courage to share his story and opening my eyes to what he has gone through. Everyone deserves to find happiness and the world could use a lot more understanding. Looking forward to reading his fiction as well!

[Hafidha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Took a few chapters for me to get into and then I read almost straight through. Funny and heartwarming. Great cast of characters! I'm ready for the sequel now.

[Candace · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting autobiographical account of a trans man's journey. Fairly well-written, but it felt to me as though it faded out at the end.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did appreciate the humor!

[Akiva ꙮ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Nothing special, unfortunately. But not actually bad.

[Tiger Gray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review to follow

[Beth]

Wonderful book

I was interested in reading a book by a transsexual to gain more understanding. This book did that, but it was also a sweet, funny, wonderful story of one persons ups and downs of life. It is well written and easy to read, although I felt there were a few abrupt transitions. Overall I quite enjoyed this book, and it did provide some insight into the life of a transsexual.