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by Elizabeth Pantley

What are you really telling your children?

Elizabeth Pantley, the creator of the bestselling No-Cry parenting books, shows you how to improve the hidden messages behind your words and deeds. She shares with you other parents' stories that demonstrate how they unknowingly sent their kids negative messages through their words and actions. After each story she provides a gentle lesson by showing the child's perspective on the same scenario and offers suggestions for a positive outcome.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction

Unknown Binding

First published January 1, 2000

About the author

Elizabeth Pantley is a bestselling author of fiction and non-fiction books. She writes two well-loved cozy mystery series: The Magical Mystery Book Club, and the Destiny Falls Mystery and Magic series. She has also written the international bestselling No-Cry Solution parenting book series that is available in over twenty languages.

Elizabeth lives in the majestic Pacific Northwest and spends winters in the sunny desert of Arizona. While neither location is home to any paranormal beings (that she knows of) the vastly different yet equally lovely locations are the inspiration for the settings in many of her books.

Sign up for her newsletter to get a free novella at www.elizabethpantleyauthor.com

Reviews

[Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy Elizabeth Pantley, and this book was no exception. The way she presented each "lesson" was through a story of a parent and their behaviors and struggles. I was surprised many times to see what the lesson to be learned was. Many of the stories resonated with me, and gave me pause in my own parenting. Thankfully, I also walked away with ideas on how to help those areas where I feel I need to grow.

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Seriously, the book was alright, wouldn't discourage anyone from reading it. in some ways it is quite a nice format and easy to read. One criticism of perhaps her most famous book, the original No-Cry Sleep Solution, is that you can get to the end of it and still not quite know what she is suggesting you do - which completely ignores the state that seriously tired parents are in. This is not like that, it is short chapters presenting a scenario, stating the 'hidden message' the parents are conveying, expanding a bit more on that, and suggesting ways to change. There is one, thank goodness, where the mother is conveying a wholly positive message.

So... what's wrong with that then? After all, she's not saying anything I particularly disagree with (and there are some ghastly 'parenting' books in the US to which she is an excellent antidote) Some of the stories conflict with one another - quite a few on the importance of requiring 100% compliance and then she has one about not being a nitpicker, not picking up on everything and cutting your children some slack because hey, they are children not adults. She wrote this book before any of her own children were teenagers and I don't think that although some of the scenarios are from her own family, there isn't one in which *she* puts a foot wrong. I prefer parenting books with a bit more 'backing' somehow, a dollop of science can be tremendously useful and there's none here.

[Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book reminded me to consider my words and actions in a more thoughtful way. What you say and do affect others more than it affects you. You are simply putting the words and genstures out there....other have to observe, internalize, and make sense of it.
Pantley provides some amazing insight into how we are perceived by our children, spouses, etc. A must-read for parents who are concerned about being good roles models and just plain decent people.