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The Ropes That Bind: Based on a True Story of Child Sexual Abuse
When nine-year-old Tali Stark from the Bronx stops to give directions to "The Man" in a white limousine, she unwittingly puts herself on a trajectory to emotional and spiritual turmoil that will take her decades to rise above. Blaming herself for the heinous crime that happened because she didn't "go straight to school," Tali is bound by invisible chains of secrecy, shame, and self-imposed isolation. Her harrowing and illuminating journey to recovery begins in her twenties with the support of her mentor, Dr. Daniel Benson, with whom she experiences deep love and then heartbreak. Feeling lost, Tali travels to Israel where Kabbalah sparks her spiritualism, and then to Africa where an arduous climb up Mount Kilimanjaro ignites a newfound feeling of empowerment. Only when Tali goes back to the Bronx and learns that her unreported crime scene has become the site of a rehabilitation center, does she understand that there is one more road to travel prior to reaching freedom.
338 pages, Paperback
Published August 8, 2016
183 people are currently reading
306 people want to read
About the author
Tracy Stopler
2 books162 followersTRACY STOPLER is the author of the award-winning novels,
THE ROPES THAT BIND,
and
MY BROTHER JAVI.
She is a registered dietitian with a Master of Science in nutrition from New York University, the Director of NUTRITION E.T.C., Inc., in Plainview, New York, and an adjunct professor at Adelphi University.
Tracy was the Enough Abuse Campaign Coordinator at The Safe Center on Long Island. Along with 50+ volunteers, she has helped educate adults on the prevention and treatment of child sexual abuse. She also volunteered as a SAFER advocate, working with survivors of sexual assault, rape, domestic violence and sex trafficking.
Tracy ‘s writing another thought-provoking novel about three generations of mental illness, specifically schizophrenia. She’s still in the research phase, but hopes for a publication date no later than 2024.
Tracy was the Enough Abuse Campaign Coordinator at The Safe Center on Long Island. Along with 50+ volunteers, she has helped educate adults on the prevention and treatment of child sexual abuse. She also volunteered as a SAFER advocate, working with survivors of sexual assault, rape, domestic violence and sex trafficking.
Tracy ‘s writing another thought-provoking novel about three generations of mental illness, specifically schizophrenia. She’s still in the research phase, but hopes for a publication date no later than 2024.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 135 reviews
May 2, 2018
WOW! The Ropes That Bind is a heartbreaking, powerful and hopeful story of a woman’s journey and her quest for healing and growth after being sexually assaulted as a young girl.
As Tali crosses the street to get to her elementary school, a man in a white limo asks her for directions. It is raining and he says she should get in to the car so she doesn’t get wet, and Tali wants to be helpful so she gets in and shuts the door. For 3 1/2 hours she is missing and experiencing the unthinkable, but nobody knows. Tali lives with this secret that perpetually tries to suffocate her inner light as she spends her life attempting to erase the pain and outrun the demons. Her journey is remarkable and through several relationships, medical, religious and spiritual education, talk therapy and physical challenges, Tali reaches a place of acceptance, healing and the ability to move forward and make a difference.
Her continual search for answers, her pursuit for healing, validation and reasons to love and be loved, along with her inner strength, courage and never ending will to contribute to society in a positive way and help people, sets an example for all of us on how to live – how to break free from our own personal ropes that bind. Heartbreaking, terrifying and wonderfully inspiring, I highly recommend this fictional novel based on a true story.
Q and A with Tracy Stopler
I am lucky enough to have connected with debut author Tracy Stopler and had the wonderful opportunity to ask her a few questions about her incredible book and her very full life.
It is hard not to question the possibility that your main character, Tali Stark, might be you, Tracy Stopler. Was Tali’s abduction and abuse experience your reality?
Please see all Q and A at Book Nation by Jen blog https://booknationbyjen.wordpress.com.
As Tali crosses the street to get to her elementary school, a man in a white limo asks her for directions. It is raining and he says she should get in to the car so she doesn’t get wet, and Tali wants to be helpful so she gets in and shuts the door. For 3 1/2 hours she is missing and experiencing the unthinkable, but nobody knows. Tali lives with this secret that perpetually tries to suffocate her inner light as she spends her life attempting to erase the pain and outrun the demons. Her journey is remarkable and through several relationships, medical, religious and spiritual education, talk therapy and physical challenges, Tali reaches a place of acceptance, healing and the ability to move forward and make a difference.
Her continual search for answers, her pursuit for healing, validation and reasons to love and be loved, along with her inner strength, courage and never ending will to contribute to society in a positive way and help people, sets an example for all of us on how to live – how to break free from our own personal ropes that bind. Heartbreaking, terrifying and wonderfully inspiring, I highly recommend this fictional novel based on a true story.
Q and A with Tracy Stopler
I am lucky enough to have connected with debut author Tracy Stopler and had the wonderful opportunity to ask her a few questions about her incredible book and her very full life.
It is hard not to question the possibility that your main character, Tali Stark, might be you, Tracy Stopler. Was Tali’s abduction and abuse experience your reality?
Please see all Q and A at Book Nation by Jen blog https://booknationbyjen.wordpress.com.
November 15, 2018
Sometimes you have to try a book outside of your comfort zone. Sometimes you find a book that leaves you in awe of what you have just read. This was such a book for me. This is a story based on true events dealing with child abuse. When gone unreported, the victim of abuse suffers for many years, unable to break away from the horror; Unable to move forward to a happy, productive life. With the right guidance and counseling, the victim can survive the scars of hatred and fear.
This book touched me to my core. Well written with tremendous empathy and courage, it should be required reading for those who have been affected by abuse in any form.
This book touched me to my core. Well written with tremendous empathy and courage, it should be required reading for those who have been affected by abuse in any form.
October 7, 2016
After Tali lives through a horrific event, one no women ever wants to think about for herself or her children, she loses herself. This book takes you along for Tali's journey of the process of healing. I won this book in a giveaway, and am so glad I did! Tracy did a great job of helping someone see that it's not an easy road to recovering from sexual abuse, or any kind of abuse for that matter. That it takes time to heal.
September 17, 2016
This is a fascinating book about the road to recovery for victims of sexual abuse. That Stopler, the author is able to both convey the trauma and the healing from such an experience.
November 4, 2020
he Ropes That Bind has taught me multiple things about those who are experiencing trauma. It has made me understand that when most people undergo a specific type of trauma, they tend to blame themselves for the outcome. Even if it was not their fault, they feel as if there is no one to blame but themselves. What’s hard to understand is that they didn’t know what the outcome would be, so it is hard to see someone such as Tali blame herself for something so cruel on the driver’s end. What I’ve also come to learn is that the trauma will affect the individual in other ways unrelated to the actual incident. It will scar them from doing other activities. Trauma such as sexual abuse is so long lasting because of how scared individuals are to actually come out and tell someone. This book has taught me that in order to heal from such a horrific experience, individuals must find it in themselves to talk about how they feel, what they’ve gone through, and most importantly, to let go of all the anger built up inside them no matter how hurt they are. It’s just not good to bottle up everything inside oneself cause eventually we’ll explode. Individuals who have undergone sexual abuse that able to talk about it are really inspiring because no matter how weak they felt at one point they were able to overcome it proving that they can be strong again. The most important lesson from this book is the idea of forgiveness. No matter the hate, the amount of hurt someone has dealt with, we must learn to forgive them as well as ourselves.
April 19, 2023
The Ropes That Bind is a true story about a nine year old, Tali Stark, who was sexually assaulted on her way to school. The book follows her life, told from her point of view, about her life after the assault. This trauma stayed with her throughout her life. She needed to learn how to heal and realize it was not her fault, she was the victim. She fell in love with a man named Daniel, who was also her boss and mentor. Later in life she then climbs Mount Kilimanjaro. This ends up being her healing process. Throughout the book Tali thought of things logically and not emotional. This aspect was good because it showed how closed off she was to the world.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 3, 2021
ML- Tali Stark's story not only placed me in her shoes, but it has helped me face my own past struggles. Tali was a young girl when her whole life was flipped after being traumatized by a sick man. Though it restricted her mind for so long, she was amazing in how she was able to progress and even inspire others. Many would have pitied themselves and shut down, but she did not. It has inspired me to confront the past horrors I've had to push through, and to never settle for anything less than I know I am worth.
November 24, 2020
Not just a book but an account of wake-up calls, awareness and courage through turmoil and self blame. This book can relate to every day’s life, from parents to children and friends.
Talie’s naivety and innocence should not be used against her. When a victim finds a way to forgive and let go, he/she also frees herself from hate and darkness from the past.
Tali’s story reflects every parent’s fear. As a parent of a little girl, I would not wish anything to happen to my child. In fact, to participate in school activities as a parent, my children’s school require that every parent get certified in a program called “virtus training”. This training is designed to raise awareness of child sex abuse. Tali’s story, this virtus training, all raise my awareness level to be very protective of my children. A parent can not even know how he or she would react knowing something happened to their child.
Talie’s naivety and innocence should not be used against her. When a victim finds a way to forgive and let go, he/she also frees herself from hate and darkness from the past.
Tali’s story reflects every parent’s fear. As a parent of a little girl, I would not wish anything to happen to my child. In fact, to participate in school activities as a parent, my children’s school require that every parent get certified in a program called “virtus training”. This training is designed to raise awareness of child sex abuse. Tali’s story, this virtus training, all raise my awareness level to be very protective of my children. A parent can not even know how he or she would react knowing something happened to their child.
May 8, 2020
“The Ropes That Bind” by Tracy Stopler is a true story about child sexual abuse that was made with the purpose of inspiring others. In the beginning of the book, Stopler tells the heartbreaking story of what happened to the main character “Tali” as a child while she was walking to school. A man in a white limousine approached her asking for directions, Tali being young and not knowing any better got into the car in effort to help. This man then took advantage of the young scared girl and then dropped her back off at school hours later. Stopler then continues to tell the story of Tali’s life after what happened to her as a child. She brings her audience through all of the ups and downs that Tali experiences throughout her teenage years and adulthood, while showing how what happened to her affected her every day as the years went on, until she was able to break free from the ropes that were binding her. It was truly inspiring to me personally, and I am sure many others as well, to have been able to join Tali on her journey. This book has the power to give others who have experienced the same type of abuse a certain sense of comfort in knowing that they are not alone in what they are experiencing and going through, while also giving these survivors a sense of hope in knowing that things will get better. I would highly recommend this novel to anyone who is struggling with their past experiences and needs motivation to push through it, because this novel is proof that you can and will overcome it once you take the steps to help and accept yourself.
After reading this book, I learned that I have been hiding from my own past experiences and that I am capable of defeating the ropes that are binding me. I learned that I am not alone and there are so many people that are willing to help me, I just have to try to help myself, and I can. This book was a big eye opener for me and inspired me to get the help that I need.
After reading this book, I learned that I have been hiding from my own past experiences and that I am capable of defeating the ropes that are binding me. I learned that I am not alone and there are so many people that are willing to help me, I just have to try to help myself, and I can. This book was a big eye opener for me and inspired me to get the help that I need.
May 6, 2020
This story as a whole is important to know for people to be able to help others dealing with a similar situation. As stated in the book, everyone has a different way of coping with the trauma they have experienced, and it can take as little as months, or as long as decades for that person to finally be “free” from their trauma. There is no one correct way to help cope with trauma, which is critical to understand, because what works for one individual may make another individual fill with anxiety and post-traumatic stress. Knowing that the process may take several years to overcome is frightening, but grit and determination are key characteristics that these survivors need to learn, in order to triumph over their trauma. Determination and grit will help these survivors overcome their trauma in whatever situation their post-traumatic stresses or flashbacks may occur. Although it can be a long and grueling process, as shown with Tali’s story, it is important for people to understand that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it cannot be seen. That light is attainable and reachable, once they learn to control their anxiety and stress.
For the future, I will keep this story in my head for realizing that I can work through my adversities and conquer anything I set my mind to, whether big or small. This book has also taught me to appreciate the help I have been given, whether it be from coaches, mentors, or parents, throughout stressful times in my life. This book is truly eye opening for me to realize what gruesome traumas children specifically have to experience, and how often these traumas are occurring. The most important lesson I think I have learned from this book is to speak up, when something doesn’t seem right. It is better to say something and to get help before it turns into something worse that can become irreversible.
For the future, I will keep this story in my head for realizing that I can work through my adversities and conquer anything I set my mind to, whether big or small. This book has also taught me to appreciate the help I have been given, whether it be from coaches, mentors, or parents, throughout stressful times in my life. This book is truly eye opening for me to realize what gruesome traumas children specifically have to experience, and how often these traumas are occurring. The most important lesson I think I have learned from this book is to speak up, when something doesn’t seem right. It is better to say something and to get help before it turns into something worse that can become irreversible.
October 16, 2019
I found the book to be quite powerful and has definitely changed my perspective on childhood sexual assault. Prior to the reading, I knew there were disgusting people in this world that were capable of committing terrible acts towards children, however, this has really proved to me just how gruesome and destructive these acts can be for the welfare and upbringing of a child.
From the “My Beginning” section of the book, one quote that really resonated with me was “Dear God, please her me. I promise I’ll be a good girl. I promise I’ll go straight to school. Please God. I won’t ever talk fresh to Mommy. I won’t roll my eyes anymore. Ever. Please God, PLEASE!” (Page 8) This quote is very meaningful when it comes to the issue of sexual assault, in certain cases the victim may feel it is their fault and their personally responsible for the unfortunate circumstances they find themselves in. The girl referencing how she had treated her mother prior to the assault, shows that she feels guilty and ashamed that she disobeyed and was rude to her mother. The quote also shows just how helpless the girl was feeling, repeatedly pleading for “God” to come save her from her nightmare. While observing this circumstance from a far, I think it is always important for the victim to not second guess their decision making in actions that may have occurred before an assault, and be quick to seek justice towards their perpetrator.
From the “My Middle” portion of the book the quote that really changed me was when the woman was in the process of getting married to Stuart and the priest addressed the audience on whether the two should be married. “Speak now or forever hold your peace. I should have gone straight to school. Shut up.”(Page 75) This quote is quite powerful because it shows how even on such a happy beautiful occasion such as a marriage, can be overshadowed by the women’s haunting past. This quote shows the emotional battle that occurs within the victims mind and just how devastating the lasting effects can be from a traumatic sexual experience. Furthermore, I found it interesting that she said “shut up” to herself which could indicate the regret and shame she is still feeling years past the assault.
In the section labeled “My New Beginning” Tal is in the process of finally coming back to the Dreiser Loop, when almost 40 years ago she was violently raped at the age of 9. Understandingly, she was full emotions and anxiety to return to the setting of such a terrible controlling time in her life. She is speaking to an old friend about the neighborhood and she finds out the construction site (scene of the crime) is now a rehabilitation center. When Tal realizes this she states, “How nice. A place of healing” (Page 313) This quote is very strong and quite ironic. First, a place that had such a negative impact on Tal’s life, is now a place for healing and growth for the whole community. Which is could be a metaphor in the growth and rehabilitation of Tal’s life from that horrible incident almost 40 years ago. I found it powerful that Tal had the courage to go back to the sight of the crime, because of this she shows that she’s come to grips with her past and is ready to grow and move on from the experience.
I think being aware of adverse childhood experiences can be meaningful in any career field. Specifically, for myself studying youth sport development, it is crucial that I am able to recognize and be supportive of any child with a possible traumatic experience. In doing so, I think it is important for someone like myself to have a non- judgmental view on any situation. Instead, being available and establishing a trustful relationship as well as looking for any warning signs or behaviors can be key for children to be safe and feel comfortable in your care.
From the “My Beginning” section of the book, one quote that really resonated with me was “Dear God, please her me. I promise I’ll be a good girl. I promise I’ll go straight to school. Please God. I won’t ever talk fresh to Mommy. I won’t roll my eyes anymore. Ever. Please God, PLEASE!” (Page 8) This quote is very meaningful when it comes to the issue of sexual assault, in certain cases the victim may feel it is their fault and their personally responsible for the unfortunate circumstances they find themselves in. The girl referencing how she had treated her mother prior to the assault, shows that she feels guilty and ashamed that she disobeyed and was rude to her mother. The quote also shows just how helpless the girl was feeling, repeatedly pleading for “God” to come save her from her nightmare. While observing this circumstance from a far, I think it is always important for the victim to not second guess their decision making in actions that may have occurred before an assault, and be quick to seek justice towards their perpetrator.
From the “My Middle” portion of the book the quote that really changed me was when the woman was in the process of getting married to Stuart and the priest addressed the audience on whether the two should be married. “Speak now or forever hold your peace. I should have gone straight to school. Shut up.”(Page 75) This quote is quite powerful because it shows how even on such a happy beautiful occasion such as a marriage, can be overshadowed by the women’s haunting past. This quote shows the emotional battle that occurs within the victims mind and just how devastating the lasting effects can be from a traumatic sexual experience. Furthermore, I found it interesting that she said “shut up” to herself which could indicate the regret and shame she is still feeling years past the assault.
In the section labeled “My New Beginning” Tal is in the process of finally coming back to the Dreiser Loop, when almost 40 years ago she was violently raped at the age of 9. Understandingly, she was full emotions and anxiety to return to the setting of such a terrible controlling time in her life. She is speaking to an old friend about the neighborhood and she finds out the construction site (scene of the crime) is now a rehabilitation center. When Tal realizes this she states, “How nice. A place of healing” (Page 313) This quote is very strong and quite ironic. First, a place that had such a negative impact on Tal’s life, is now a place for healing and growth for the whole community. Which is could be a metaphor in the growth and rehabilitation of Tal’s life from that horrible incident almost 40 years ago. I found it powerful that Tal had the courage to go back to the sight of the crime, because of this she shows that she’s come to grips with her past and is ready to grow and move on from the experience.
I think being aware of adverse childhood experiences can be meaningful in any career field. Specifically, for myself studying youth sport development, it is crucial that I am able to recognize and be supportive of any child with a possible traumatic experience. In doing so, I think it is important for someone like myself to have a non- judgmental view on any situation. Instead, being available and establishing a trustful relationship as well as looking for any warning signs or behaviors can be key for children to be safe and feel comfortable in your care.
May 10, 2020
This book goes through a traumatic event of a young girl and how she deals with her demons as she continues to grow up and eventually become an adult. She is still haunted by the incident but there are many lessons that someone that is going through their own trauma can use to begin their own healing process as Tali, the main character of the book, learns on her own as she travels the world. I would definitely recommend this book to everyone because everyone has gone through something that has affected them. This book can and did help me with my own trauma.
May 4, 2020
This book is talking about how a child named Tali experienced sexual abuse. It was really sad because it took away time from having a normal life. During her childhood, she was facing trauma which was frightening. I understand, not because I was abused, but because I have a learning disorder. My wrong choices can really impact how I learn in college. The journey about what Tali made during her high school years was so touching. Tali did a great job explaining her momentous track race. Overall, Tali learned survival skills. She became a fighter and ultimately, a winner, helping other victims. It connects really well to me because I fought myself as a person with a speech and learning trauma to get into college. I faced some verbal abuse with people not accepting me as a person, but some of my closest friends helped me to become who I am today.
May 8, 2020
This novel was an amazing read. From start to finish I was captivated by Talis's story and the processes of her grief and methods of coping. There are many themes in this novel that can be applied to anyone, regardless of their circumstances, and can be utilized to heal from other hardships. I particularly liked how the chapters were organized. In the beginning, the reader is exposed to a grueling and uncensored event, and in a way traumatized along with Tali. This created a bond between me and Tali, and an irresistible urge to continue reading. I would definitely recommend to anyone interested.
May 11, 2020
I definitely would recommend this book. It will take you through a complex life with very interesting lessons to take away.
May 11, 2020
An amazing book to read and truly inspiring. I love everything about what this has taught me about life and understanding people.
May 5, 2020
This book was so powerful it inspired me to the greatest lengths. Tali’s strengths and bravery to eventually overcome this tragedy really touched my heart. Not only did she overcome the tragedy, but she came out an even stronger version of herself and that alone has changed my perspective on life. Professor Stopler thank you for sharing your story it has reminded me to never give up on my dreams and keeping fighting no matter what.
March 25, 2020
The Ropes That Bind by Tracy Stopler is an emotionally striking novel that forces the reader to view life through the eyes of a young girl who was sexually assaulted and then had to confront years of psychological trauma that had a detrimental impact on her life. While there are several invaluable talking points that are conjured by the events within this novel; I’d like to focus particularly on one. That theme that I’d like to discuss is the following; An individual’s happiness is never uncontrollably bound by the chains of fear, shame, or any other emotion or link of emotions that are a byproduct of an adverse childhood event. I believe that in life, as was the case in Tali’s life, we always have a choice, and a subsequent opportunity, to make a decision when confronted with one. After experiencing the unfathomable traumatic events that Tali had to endure; sexual molestation at a young age, death of loved ones, a divorce, and among several other traumatic events, she persisted and battled through adversity. Through her reconciliation of her past, she was able to discover the potential that had always awaited her. After years of persistent suffering and feelings of emptiness, disassociation, sadness, fear, and shame, she discovered her intrinsic purpose of a life worth living. The feelings of brokenness force upon its assailants a belief that they are defined by their trauma, and that the possibility of ever attaining happiness is unattainable. Reflecting back on the nascent stages of my very own journey through a difficult time in my life, my minuscule self-worth was largely defined by this characterization of brokenness. Years of my avoidance in dealing with my distressing past had resulted in my stagnant progression from this chronic and systemic characterization. As time progressed and the years passed on, I noticed that I began to find enjoyment in those things that I had previously associated as melancholic. Interestingly enough, this book helped me to make more holistic sense of my emergence from someone who was once broken, to someone who regained their sense of purpose. The fear that I had within me was being driven by my reluctance to face my wretched memories. Tali’s story helped me to form the following conclusion: when we fix something that is broken, we realize a new strength that is unparalleled and greater than we have ever realized.
Professor Stopler, your passion, courage, compassion, and selflessness has given hope and meaning to the masses of those people who feel broken. I hope that your story lives on endlessly, and that it continues to inspire those that have yet to realize their hidden purpose and intrinsic beauty. Thank you wounded healer, and may God continue shining his light through you.
Professor Stopler, your passion, courage, compassion, and selflessness has given hope and meaning to the masses of those people who feel broken. I hope that your story lives on endlessly, and that it continues to inspire those that have yet to realize their hidden purpose and intrinsic beauty. Thank you wounded healer, and may God continue shining his light through you.
May 5, 2020
This story is heartbreaking, hopeful, and empowering all in one. Based on a true story, the childhood trauma is an experience no one should ever have to endure. I highly recommend this story to everyone out there as it is an important read.
May 9, 2017
Kudos to the author Tracy Stopler for the professional and amazing research and storytelling in the book "The Ropes that Bind" by Tracy Stopler. "The Ropes that Bind" is written as fiction , but is based on a true story. The Genres of this novel are Fiction and Woman's Fiction.
The author introduces us to Tali Stark, as a child, who is running late to go to school. It is a rainy day, and her Mom can't walk her. Her mother reminds her to go straight to school. The family lives in a safe community. A white limousine pulls up, and the driver, "THE MAN" asks young Tali where a street is. Tali want to be helpful and points out the street. It is pouring, and the man suggests she come in and close the car door. The man threatens her and her family if she ever tells what happens. Somehow, Tali survives, traumatized, and gets to school, but sits in the bathroom in shock and in silence.
This silence and secrets of what happened still is very much part of grown up Tali. Tali can be described as conflicted,complicated, insecure, very bright and inquisitive. Tali functions at a high level in her academic achievement. There are some characters that Tali does meet that are supportive, encouraging, positive and loving.
I love that Tracy Stopler shows us the weaknesses, and frailty in Tali that lead to growth, strength, courage and freedom. Tali goes on an emotional, psychological and spiritual journey . Tali has mentors, friends, family, friends, and lovers that stand by her. Tali is able to share what happened and wants to help others, with a strong voice.
The subject matter is disturbing and almost has a "taboo" feel, but it is dealt with in an intriguing and captivating way. This happened many years before. In my opinion,this is something that should be brought up and dealt with more, There should be more laws informing the neighborhoods, and schools of sexual predators. There should also be more education for children at home and in school to reinforce positive ways to be protected. It is not okay to stay silent if something is off, or something happens. Children should be made to feel safe in their environments so that they can feel comfortable and have strong support systems. Children shouldn't have to be silent and keep secrets. Children should be safe!
I appreciate the way that the author describes the characters and the storyline in a positive, captivating and intriguing way. This is a book that should be read!!
The author introduces us to Tali Stark, as a child, who is running late to go to school. It is a rainy day, and her Mom can't walk her. Her mother reminds her to go straight to school. The family lives in a safe community. A white limousine pulls up, and the driver, "THE MAN" asks young Tali where a street is. Tali want to be helpful and points out the street. It is pouring, and the man suggests she come in and close the car door. The man threatens her and her family if she ever tells what happens. Somehow, Tali survives, traumatized, and gets to school, but sits in the bathroom in shock and in silence.
This silence and secrets of what happened still is very much part of grown up Tali. Tali can be described as conflicted,complicated, insecure, very bright and inquisitive. Tali functions at a high level in her academic achievement. There are some characters that Tali does meet that are supportive, encouraging, positive and loving.
I love that Tracy Stopler shows us the weaknesses, and frailty in Tali that lead to growth, strength, courage and freedom. Tali goes on an emotional, psychological and spiritual journey . Tali has mentors, friends, family, friends, and lovers that stand by her. Tali is able to share what happened and wants to help others, with a strong voice.
The subject matter is disturbing and almost has a "taboo" feel, but it is dealt with in an intriguing and captivating way. This happened many years before. In my opinion,this is something that should be brought up and dealt with more, There should be more laws informing the neighborhoods, and schools of sexual predators. There should also be more education for children at home and in school to reinforce positive ways to be protected. It is not okay to stay silent if something is off, or something happens. Children should be made to feel safe in their environments so that they can feel comfortable and have strong support systems. Children shouldn't have to be silent and keep secrets. Children should be safe!
I appreciate the way that the author describes the characters and the storyline in a positive, captivating and intriguing way. This is a book that should be read!!
April 1, 2020
The Ropes That Bind is a novel that unravels the difficult life story of a girl named Tali Stark. Beginning with a horrifying description of her experience being sexually abused. At nine years old, on her way to school she was only trying to help a man with directions who ended up abducting and raping her. This moment had changed that young girl's life immensely and drastically. You begin to attach yourself to Tali as she continues her life always living with that memory and overcoming various obstacles. She wasn’t capable of telling anyone until she developed a strong relationship with her mentor. This experience caused her to avoid many things in life, including prom, a boyfriend in high school and many other experiences throughout her high school and college life. She found joy in nutrition and focused on her school work and career for the future. Through miscommunications and hardships, she dealt with difficulties in relationships, while finding true love in others. She ended up meeting the love of her life: her mentor; who ended up, unfortunately, passing away later in her life. Tali Stark has dealt with many unfortunate events in her life, but through therapy and self-love, she was able to be her true self again. Traveling the world, finding new light and truths in religions, developing a love for baking and writing. She was also able to put her focus on other people and help them with their needs; keeping an update on child abductions and abuse cases, volunteering at a Long Island Child Abuse center and much more. Tali learned to forgive, to let go of her past so she can live in the present and focus on the future. To live without hate and not blame others or yourself for the bad things that may happen to you. “If you are truly responsible, you can learn to fix it and move forward. Moving forward is always the goal.” ~(Tracey Stopler) This book is a great reflection on how to focus on the better things in life and not dwell on the unfortunate things that happened. Move forward, it takes courage and time but keep on pushing. The story of Tali Stark was incredibly unfortunate but ended up being an incredible revelation on her life and others. The valuable lesson of spreading positivity and working hard is encrypted behind all these words, “The light is endless whether or not we choose to receive it. We are responsible for the amount of Light we receive and reveal in our lives.”
May 4, 2020
Great book, once you start reading you can't stop. The book really taught some valuable lessons.
April 29, 2020
This book was a great read and really had a lot to say about mental health and its effects later in life.
July 29, 2017
A Heartfelt Journey of Pain, Anger, Self-Discovery and Rebirth:
As a man and reader of mostly trade journals, financial news and biography’s, I did not expect much from a book with a little girl crying on the cover. However, being in the mood to push myself outside my comfort zone for a different kind of summer read, I came across Ms. Stopler’s novel, The Ropes That Bind: Based on a True Story of Child Sexual Abuse. Granted, the title does not scream “bring me to the beach,” but being a survivor of sexual abuse as a child, the book called out to me to look past the cover, and I am delighted I did.
Ms. Stopler’s poignant and immersive story-telling, inseparably join the reader with the protagonist, Tali Stark, throughout her journey through childhood to adulthood. From survival of a horrific sexual attack when she was just nine years old, as she grew through adolescence and emerged into a fully formed but effected adult. Throughout the story Stopler describes in detail both the healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms she employed to adjust to the world around her, the world oblivious to the internal turmoil she dealt with every second of every day since her attack. Although Stopler’s story is very personal, her narrative is constructed in a way that allows the reader to see him or herself in Tali’s shoes every step of the way. It is this approachability and the universal construct of the way we all deal with our own personal daemons that I feel is the most powerful attribute of Ms. Stopler’s work.
I could not recommend The Ropes That Bind: Based on a True Story of Child Sexual Abuse, more highly as I believe it speaks to all of us, young, old, male or female. In truth, it is about so much more than the title suggests, and addresses the cause and effect that so often effects all our lives.
As a man and reader of mostly trade journals, financial news and biography’s, I did not expect much from a book with a little girl crying on the cover. However, being in the mood to push myself outside my comfort zone for a different kind of summer read, I came across Ms. Stopler’s novel, The Ropes That Bind: Based on a True Story of Child Sexual Abuse. Granted, the title does not scream “bring me to the beach,” but being a survivor of sexual abuse as a child, the book called out to me to look past the cover, and I am delighted I did.
Ms. Stopler’s poignant and immersive story-telling, inseparably join the reader with the protagonist, Tali Stark, throughout her journey through childhood to adulthood. From survival of a horrific sexual attack when she was just nine years old, as she grew through adolescence and emerged into a fully formed but effected adult. Throughout the story Stopler describes in detail both the healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms she employed to adjust to the world around her, the world oblivious to the internal turmoil she dealt with every second of every day since her attack. Although Stopler’s story is very personal, her narrative is constructed in a way that allows the reader to see him or herself in Tali’s shoes every step of the way. It is this approachability and the universal construct of the way we all deal with our own personal daemons that I feel is the most powerful attribute of Ms. Stopler’s work.
I could not recommend The Ropes That Bind: Based on a True Story of Child Sexual Abuse, more highly as I believe it speaks to all of us, young, old, male or female. In truth, it is about so much more than the title suggests, and addresses the cause and effect that so often effects all our lives.
April 15, 2020
This book surprised me! At first reading the summary and first chapter I thought I would not like it. My thought was I wouldn't relate to it and wouldn't understand, and possibly be uncomfortable. But It was the opposite. This book has shown me that I’m not the only one out there, I have never been raped but I was my own emotions and mental issue troubles. I’ve always known and learned about others, but it helped me go someone else life and see how they overcame and maintained themselves throughout their life. As well, confirmed my methods for going at my problems; How Tali in the end had to not run away but face her problems head on.
The story not only aided me in my own issues but let me understand others a bit more clearly. The saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” was a major underlying theme in this story. Many of the characters had issues of their own and problems that weren’t seen right away especially Tali. This book helped me guide my thoughts not to judge others for the situation I see them in today, because I would want the same respect. Everyone has a past and I have to learn not to assume they are there for their wrong doings.
This book opened up my eyes and was such an emotional roller coaster which takes you by surprise. You rooting for Tali throughout the whole book and wish the best for her. Definitively read this book!
The story not only aided me in my own issues but let me understand others a bit more clearly. The saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” was a major underlying theme in this story. Many of the characters had issues of their own and problems that weren’t seen right away especially Tali. This book helped me guide my thoughts not to judge others for the situation I see them in today, because I would want the same respect. Everyone has a past and I have to learn not to assume they are there for their wrong doings.
This book opened up my eyes and was such an emotional roller coaster which takes you by surprise. You rooting for Tali throughout the whole book and wish the best for her. Definitively read this book!
May 12, 2020
This story is emotional,depressing and motivating all in one. Childhood trauma is no joke and it takes a different type of courage to write about especially a true story. Recommend to anyone its a great read, made me more open to hearing people go back to something so terrifying and look back and tell it as it empowered them.
December 9, 2018
The book, The Ropes that Bind, is so well-written, with vivid descriptions that it makes the reader feel as though they were actually there. As I started to read the book, I couldn’t help but feel sad. The main character, Tali Stark, suffered through a traumatic experience of child sexual abuse at nine years old and kept it a secret. I too had an experience when I was fifteen years old where I was bullied each day by a student who yelled derogatory things to me and would corner me at the lockers as I was going to class. I too kept it a secret and the situation made me feel horrible, I had such anger in me and would periodically explode until one day I decided to fight back. It took a while, but I decided to talk to my brother and then my parents. I met with my school counselor who also helped me to heal and eventually forgive. Even though we suffered from two different situations, this book impacted me because I can relate to keeping a secret when I went through this terrible situation and it changing me. Now I see I shouldn’t have kept the secret to myself. As I continued reading, I felt the courage Tali Spark possesses. Tali has the strength to create a new life for herself and by doing so encourages others to talk about what happened to them and the secrets they are keeping to themselves. I recommend any reader to follow Tali on her incredible journey and how she overcomes her sexual abuse. As Tali explained in the book, she learned how to live with memories of the past and that forgiveness will set you free. -JW
March 31, 2022
This novel followed Tali Stark’s life after she was sexually assaulted in the Bronx at only nine years old. The readers learned of her ambitions with regards to academics, how compassionate she had always been, and how her relationships shaped her life and helped her heal from her experience. When reading the book, I experienced a wide range of emotions. I did not expect the description of the incident to be as vivid as it was. It was hard to read but I appreciated the blunt nature of the text as it made the topic of sexual abuse/violence all the more real and pressing. I felt disgust and horror when reading the first chapter. When reading about Tali's relationship with her grandmother and Alex, I felt hope that she had people in her life she may confide in. I then felt heartbroken knowing she did not confide in anyone until years later. I admired Tali more as she lived her life trying her best to give back to the world, even if it was dangerous, and how she always tried to seize every opportunity that came her way. Tali’s relationships were full of highs and lows as well, and were clearly affected by the incident. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for Tali to live her life with daily thoughts of “The Man” and beating herself up for not going straight to school. With how underreported the crime is, it is difficult to wrap my head around the fact that many other victims probably live like that as well, with some of them still in captivity or dead. The novel filled me with a lot of respect for Tali and her journey of recovery.
May 20, 2022
The book The Ropes That Bind is an emotional story about a young girl who experiences life changing events as a child. The book begins with the main character Tali as a young girl. One day on her way to school she is sexually assaulted by a man in a limousine. She didn't tell anyone about what happened because she was scared by the threats by the man and the opinions of others. This experience would stick with her for the rest of her life and would alter her in many different ways. This experience led her to lack self confidence and be insecure as well as having major impacts on her future relationships. The book shows how she dealt with these problems and eventually overcame these obstacles and broke free.
This book taught me how experiences as a child, especially tragic events can have a major impact on an individual. I was able to understand the effect of how much damage sexual assault can have on someone especially a child. This story also made me realize you never know what experiences someone may have had throughout their life that made them the way they are. If there is a lesson to be learned from this book it is that you shouldn't judge others and you should be compassionate because you never know what someone is experiencing or what they have experienced in the past.
Although it was an extremely emotional and sad book to read, I was truly inspired. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has experienced childhood trauma or trauma at all. This book has many extremely powerful messages that could change lives.
This book taught me how experiences as a child, especially tragic events can have a major impact on an individual. I was able to understand the effect of how much damage sexual assault can have on someone especially a child. This story also made me realize you never know what experiences someone may have had throughout their life that made them the way they are. If there is a lesson to be learned from this book it is that you shouldn't judge others and you should be compassionate because you never know what someone is experiencing or what they have experienced in the past.
Although it was an extremely emotional and sad book to read, I was truly inspired. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has experienced childhood trauma or trauma at all. This book has many extremely powerful messages that could change lives.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 8, 2022
The Ropes That Bind is a novel that describes the life story of a girl named Tali Stark. It begins with a horrifying description of her experience being sexually abused. At 9 years old, on her way to school she was only trying to help a man with directions who ended up abducting and raping her. She wasn’t capable of telling anyone until she developed a strong relationship with her mentor. This experience caused her to avoid many things in life, including prom, a boyfriend in high school, and many other experiences throughout her high school and college life. She found joy in nutrition and focused on her school work and career for the future. Through miscommunications and hardships, she dealt with difficulties in relationships, while finding true love in others. Tali dealt with many unfortunate events in her life, but through therapy and self-love, she was able to be her true self again. She did this by traveling the world, finding new light and truths in religions, and developing a love for baking and writing. The story of Tali Stark was incredibly unfortunate but ended up being an incredible revelation on her life and others. The valuable lesson of spreading positivity and working hard is encrypted behind all these words. Although I am grateful enough not to go through or know anyone personally that went through this experience, it was interesting to see this from the point of view of the victim.
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