Gli anni magici (Bambini e genitori)

by Selma H. Fraiberg, R. Patanè (Translator)

Selma H. Fraiberg ci presenta il bambino, di oggi e di sempre, con le sue fantasticherie, le sue angosce, le sue ansie e, talvolta le sue nevrosi. Ed è per scongiurare queste ultime che l'Autrice si rivolge ai genitori, in nome della scienza, della psicoanalisi, ed anche, perchè no, del buon senso, e dell'Amore.

Genres: Parenting, Psychology, Nonfiction, Education, Childrens, Family, Psychoanalysis

376 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 1959

About the author

Selma Fraiberg (1918–1981) was a child psychoanalyst, author and social worker. She studied infants with congenital blindness in the 1970s. She found that blind babies had three problems to overcome: learning to recognize parents from sound alone, learning about permanence of objects, acquiring a typical or healthy self image. She also found that vision acts as a way of pulling other sensory modalities together and with out sight babies are delayed. In addition to her work with blind babies, she also was one of the founders of the field of infant mental health and developed mental health treatment apporaches for infants, toddlers and their families.

Reviews

[Claudia Vieira · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book again now that I am a grandparent after first reading it about 28 years ago when I was a pre-school teacher. I greatly enjoyed it and find that so many of Fraiberg's examples still ring true and her good sense approach is still very refreshing and valuable. But it is very dated in it's psychoanalytical perspective and it's language about sexual identity. I felt that her discussion of the challenges that boys face was still quite relevant, while her discussion of girls sexual identification made me cringe. In the first two pages of the section "on being a girl", I count 20 uses of the words "feminine" and "femininity".

At any rate, I'm passing it on to my son who is now a Papa of a baby girl and I trust he will be able to translate for his modern day sensibilities.

[Krystal Procida-Sapienza · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was “gifted” this book for my baby shower and skimming through it I had a feeling it was going to put me to sleep so I decided to give the audiobook a try. This book made me so angry. I don’t know who gifted this to me. It is absolutely out dated , like literally has not been updated since the 50s. There are terms in there that are not used today, especially to describe those with intellectual and developmental disabilities. The author has a very chauvinistic attitude and stereotypical gender roles. Also, the author clearly only thinks that for children not to develop neurosis they have to have a mom and a dad. I requested to get my Audible credit back and unfortunately cannot.

[Ieva Visockienė · Rating 4 out of 5]

https://perskaiciau.lt/selma-m-fraibe...

[George · Rating 5 out of 5]

A magnificent book!!! I finished "The Magic Years" several months ago for the second time. It was a required “text” in a course that I took at Manhattan College, many years ago. It’s message is just as fresh and enlightening now as I remember it being then!

To a small child, the world is an exciting but sometimes frightening and unstable place. The point of this book, Selma Fraiberg says, is that “A method of child-rearing is not – or should not be – a whim, a fashion or a shibboleth. It should derive from an understanding of the developing child, of his physical and mental equipment at any given stage and, therefore, his readiness at any given stage to adapt, to learn, to regulate his behavior according to parental expectations.”

The primary subject matter of the book is divided into three parts – the first eighteen months, eighteen months to three years, and three years to six. The author takes the reader into the mind of the child, showing how he/she confronts this world and learns to cope with it. She discusses the problems at each stage of development and reveals the qualities – above all, the quality of understanding – that can provide the right answers at critical moments. In describing, how children mature from birth to six years old, she discusses theories and facts about feeding, talking, sex education, fantasy, self-control, fear, and other subjects in practical terms of daily living. One of the most interesting parts of the book was the section, in Chapter 5, on the building of a conscience.

Her style is literate and graceful. I think that The Magic Years should be required reading (a classic, still in print after more than 50 years since it was first published) for all social scientists and parents-to-be. I’ve given it as a Christmas gift to several such couples this past year.

[Jen Medos · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are some serious problems with the age of this book and the racist and chauvinist examples it gives. At one point when describing Abraham Lincoln as a hero, she says something like, "although he didn't kill bears or Indians"... I mean, seriously, there needs to be a deep edit for the times. I understand this was written in 1959 but the copy I read was reprinted in 2008. This cannot stand. Other issues I had were the use of family examples only using traditional nuclear families and implications that other types of families couldn't raise healthy, well developed children. Not to mention a whole section using a missionary/residential school approach as a positive example. Additionally, there were descriptions of ideal characteristics of gender that were inappropriate for 2021.

That being clear, parts of it were useful to me. I did enjoy the description of what "magic" is to young children (less about magic and more about them not having a full grasp on the way the world works), anxiety and fear and morality.

Unless this book comes out with a new edition that is heavily revised, I would give it a pass.

[Meg · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite books on early childhood. Not really a "how to" about handling problems so much as a philosophy and understanding of childhood development. A classic! First read in my child psych training.

[Skaistė Girtienė · Rating 4 out of 5]

Įdomi knyga. Tik jai skaityti ir suprasti man reikėjo susikaupti. Pristatoma vaiko raida ir sunkumai iš psichoanalitinio požiūrio taško. Manau, įkandama ne kiekvienam.

[Agnė · Rating 5 out of 5]

I reccomend this book even before actually becoming parents. If you are planning pregnancy - I encourage you to add it in your reading list. I have read it when I was already raising a 4 year old, so it was a pity for me to realize so many things after the fact. It is a game changer in understanding why your kid is acting in some ways and it becomes easier to accept the behaviours and become a better parent. It gives explanations to the child’s behaviours in a scientific way of physical development and even the improvement of baby’s sight could be a reason why they cry in the hands of people who were previously easily accepted by them.

[Santi Ruiz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some great insights about kids’ magical view of the world, and how it slowly evolves and incorporates new information. Very 60s pop-Freudian in other parts. “The enlightened parents” do this and that. Worth a skim.

[Robert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best parenting book I’ve read so far.

[Ingrida Dockė · Rating 5 out of 5]

Man asmeniskai, viena is idomiausiu knygu apie ankstyvaja vaikyste

[Greg Brown · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good, probably my favorite parenting book I’ve read, mainly for the material covering birth to 3 years old.

Somewhat dated since it was written in the ‘50s, but only shows its age in the chapter on enforcing gender roles. The rest is very charming and evocative of the childhood experience: the types of magical thinking and other interim measures as they climb the ladder of consciousness.

[Chhad · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this very differently than when I first had to read Fraiberg for child psychotherapy studies. Less outraged and more curious about the possibilities of psychoanalysis. It's lovely to vicariously delight in the external world through the wondrous internal world of young people. It's very difficult though, to get past the cringefully outdated gendered frameworks of infantile sexuality, and gross colonialist metaphors of parenting as missionary work to civilize the savage. I'm desperate for an update on theories of ego development that aren't so binary in terms of gender. And some cultural considerations too please while you're at it.

[Bethany · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought this book was very helpful. The only thing that really bothered me was the first sentence of the introduction to the 50th Anniversary edition in which T. Berry Brazelton said that The Magic Years had been around for a half decade. Oops.

[Yassin Salama · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best passages to understand your childhood years.
This is the best book I have ever read about chikdren psychology indeed. I advise every father and mother to read it, and for those who wants to be parents also.

[Floor · Rating 2 out of 5]

Voor de tijd waarin het uitkwam, was het boek vernieuwend, maar inmiddels zijn er een stuk betere boeken over de ontwikkeling en opvoeding van kinderen te vinden. Veel verouderde Freudiaanse en seksistische ideeën die worden gepresenteerd alsof het wetenschap is.

[Sandra de koning-vd pol · Rating 4 out of 5]

Altijd fijn, een handleiding om je te kunnen inleven in de belevingswereld van je kind ;-))

[Terka Juchelková · Rating 2 out of 5]

Když vynecháme úvod a závěr, je to docela čtivá a zajímavá kniha o náhledu dětí na svět, jejich vývoji a roli, jakou při výchově hrají rodiče.
Text je rozdělen do tří částí podle věku dítěte (miminka, do tří let, do šesti let). To je taky taky jediný typ úpravy v celé knize. Ocenila bych trochu přehlednější formátování: seznamy a postupy v odrážkách, příklady z praxe kurzívou, tabulky...takhle je jen jednolitý text, sotva rozdělen na odstavce.
Dál jsem velmi postrádala citace výzkumů, na které se autorka odkazuje. Nevím, jestli je to "stářím" knihy, ale několik informací, které autorka prezentuje jako dané a dokázané jsou dnes vědecky prokazatelně jinak (např. že dítě nezná po porodu matku, nutnost zasloužit si lásku rodičů...).
Celkově je kniha postavena na docela nekontaktních základech (dudlík, separace, postýlka, kaše a láhve.. ). Občas až paradoxně. Jak chcete dítěti zabránit být u toho, když se rodič obléká, sprchuje, jde na WC? Jo vlastně, dát ho do postýlky, zavřít za ním dveře a nechat ho řvát.
Jednotlivá témata jsou spolu často spojena šílenými oslími můstky. A některé příklady z praxe, které mají zřejmě ilustrovat právě probírané téma, ukazují pravý opak. Nejzřetelnější to je v části o trestu a logických důsledcích.

Po vší té kritice to možná bude znít divně, ale v knize se nachází mnoho podnětných myšlenek, návodů a úžasných příkladů. V celém textu se prolíná důležitost lásky a přítomnosti mateřské osoby při vývoji dítěte. Uvedené příklady jsou popsány zábavně a velmi věrně. A kapitola o sexuální výchově mi taky přišla rozumná a docela pokroková.
Záblesky "alternativního" stylu výchovy byly osvěžující: " Příliš velká rebélie je reakcí na příliš velký tlak." a " Ve válečném stavu je výuka zablokována."
Autorka také podporuje prožití pocitů a neodvádění pozornosti při problematických situacích.

Celkově hodnotím knihu kladně. Určitě stojí zato si ji přečíst a možná se k ní i vrátit, jak dítě poroste. Magický svět, do kterého se dítě narodí je zde popsán fantasticky. Až mě občas mrzelo, že z této fáze jsem už vyrostla.

[Katie Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

More academic and harder to read than most other parenting books, but The Magic Years offers an insightful look into the child's mind in the years of early childhood. At times the writing is unnecessarily wordy and not as user friendly as most other books geared towards childcare. However, it is a fascinating read for anyone interested in learning more about child development. Understanding the child's mind and journey towards developing individuality and personality is useful information for reacting to and dealing with potentially difficult behavior. Many parenting books are typically not always suitable for people who, like me, work in childcare, as they often contain a lot of technical information that I find unnecessary to know as someone who is not a full time parent. However, I found this to be a worthwhile one.

[Jill Leontiadis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must for anyone who is convinced that their babies and children are adorable drunken roommates- this is broken down into a chronological explanation of what is going inside the brains of babies to late toddlerhood- my eyes were opened - and I’m more sympathetic to babies and their ways of thinking because literally it is like magic mushroomville- and you can’t just have a conversation with these adorable creatures- unlike mushrooms (what I’ve heard from a friend) is that babies and children can be scarred from our reactions- there is a reason we don’t have coffee with our kids- and this book explains why- babies and kids are still aliens to me- but now I appreciate my children so much more- buy this book!

[Jgknobler · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I certainly go along with the idea that children work out their strong emotions via fantasy and play, I found this book a little too pat and imbued with uncritical ideas about gender roles as well as a general assumption that all families have a mommy and a daddy and are financially comfortable. My own mother gave me this book 35 years ago, when my kids were little, but I avoided reading it. It was interesting t0 read it now while witnessing my 3 you granddaughter implode and begin to have daily tantrums a week or two after the birth of a brother. What would Selma (the name of both the author and my child-educator mother) have done?

[Qing Mirabella · Rating 4 out of 5]

The aspect from the clinical aspect is refreshing when it comes to child psychology. A few notes to myself:
1. The kid may face difficulty because his wishes is too strong and he hasn’t yet acquired the means to say no to himself.
2. The limit we set around our kids need to grow along with the kids. Kids are curious about a lot of things but sometimes we need yo make them aware about the limit in reality
3. Discipline works as a form of education not just punishment. Specifically, all learnings is made more effective through the establishment of logical connections between events and ideas
4. Love is given, but it is also earned.

[Inga · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sunku patikėti, kad knyga pirmą kartą išleista 1959 m. yra vis dar aktuali šiomis dienomis. Vertinu ją vien už tai, nors buvo vietų su kuriomis nesutikau.
Skaitant vis neapleido mintis, kokią šios knygos versiją būtume galėję rasti Lietuvos knygynuose, jeigu kažkas būtų panašią parašęs 1959 m. Vargu ar galėčiau ją dabar skaityti ir dar pritarti išdėstytoms mintims.
Rekomenduoju knygą tiems, kas mėgsta abstrakčiau pateiktą informaciją. Nors čia yra praktinių patarimų, tačiau neišeina pabėgti nuo to, kad knygą parašė psichoanalitikė. Taigi, yra daug išvedžiojimų ir pamąstymų moralės, autoritetų, ribų klausimais.

[Julie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book, focused mostly on a Freudian perspective of human development, offers some really interesting insights into what is going on in the minds of babies and toddlers. As I read, I began to notice my daughter doing some of things Fraiberg describes, like putting her own thoughts and urges onto her stuffed friends during pretend play. But having been initially published in 1959, this book includes a section on gender that is incredibly heteronormative, to the point of being offensive by today's standards and understandings of gender identity.

[Andreea · Rating 2 out of 5]

Overall boring book, but I give it a 2 because there are some concepts with which I really don’t agree. For ex: the author says that the parents should not show unconditional love in every situation because this will probably make the child be a self-centred adult who thinks « love me as I am ». So the parent should show love depending on the behaviour of the child. But wouldn’t that make an adult who will constantly look for approval in the others’ opinion? And will be unhappy chasing others’ love?

[Ernestas Poskus · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book, originally written in the 1950s, remains surprisingly relevant despite its age. While its overall content is extensive and dense, certain parts are notably useful, such as the segment detailing a girl admonishing her imaginary pet tiger to act more civilized. This book stands out for its comprehensive coverage of the first six years of a child's life, unlike most parenting books that focus on the initial one to three years. A significant portion is devoted to sex and sexuality, offering advice that is both honest and open-minded, which I found to be quite reasonable.

[Jemma · Rating 3 out of 5]

A thorough, insightful and thought provoking guide to the changing psychology of the under sixes. It does become apparent later on though that the thinking in the book is very much that all children need two parents - a mother and a father. This seems odd but then a little research reveals that this book was written in the Fifties. Which makes it very progressive for its time but you are left wondering whether these views have since been challenged successfully?

[Flynn Heiss · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good insight to the stages of child development, and how children view the world in these different stages. Helps give parents tools for accepting and working with problems that arise.

The main thread of the book is how to help children build a conscience, and I enjoyed the clear exposition on what types of punishment are effective in serving this end.

Some parts feel a bit over-psychoanalytic, but most of the ideas are useful food for thought.

[Megan]

I haven't been able to decide on a star rating for this book. On one hand, there is some great information about early childhood, even with the age of the book and the explosion of brain science since this book's publication. On the other hand, the book is a time capsule of rigid gender stereotypes, and cultural condescension while sharing said information. I read an earlier edition of book, so maybe later updates were improved.

[Ramu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Man labiausiai nesuvokiama, kad knyga išleista 1959! Ir vis galvoju, kaip būtų buvę, jei tokia knyga būtų atėjus į Lietuvą prieš tiek metų...

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