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The Bikini Prophecy: A real-life romantic misadventure about love, loss, laughter ... and an unexpected date with fate.
How far would you go for love? ... Would you tempt fate?
At thirty years of age, an unemployed and relationship-weary Matt Kyler decides to abandon his long-suffering partner in search of fame, fortune and guilt-free fornication. His reward for this bastard act of selfishness is an invite to work on a hit television show.
But if fortune favours the brave then misfortune is sure to find the cowardly Kyler. And before long his perfect new life begins to unravel, taking with it his masculinity, self-confidence and good humour.
Desperate for spiritual guidance, Kyler visits a tarot card reader. But instead of finding solace, he finds disaster at every turn and is, ultimately, reminded that there are two women in his life — one of whom he must not hurt.
But which woman?
The beautiful co-worker he is convinced will lead him to a better future?
Or the past love he is so determined to run from?
In confusion, the vulnerable Kyler decides to take destiny into his own hands. Quitting his dream job, he embarks on a prophetic adventure of love through India, where he is exposed to a continent of contrasts and a collection of characters with dysfunctional lives that rival his own.
He also discovers, somewhat inconveniently, the devastating truth behind his own broken life.
The Bikini Prophecy is a hilarious, yet touching, travelogue of the heart; an unhinged misadventure about love, loss, laughter ... and an unexpected date with fate.
---::---
Written by the world's most feminine Aussie Alpha Male, this entertaining real-life romp takes readers on a grey journey—from light to dark—to a place where 'happily ever afters' aren't always neat and tidy. Unashamedly aimed at those on a path to self-discovery, 'The Bikini Prophecy' will appeal to the more cynical and jaded readers of Elizabeth Gilbert’s ‘Eat, Pray, Love'. But rabid fans of that book beware … this tale bites back.
***PLEASE NOTE: This story contains swearing and topical content that may distress some readers.***
At thirty years of age, an unemployed and relationship-weary Matt Kyler decides to abandon his long-suffering partner in search of fame, fortune and guilt-free fornication. His reward for this bastard act of selfishness is an invite to work on a hit television show.
But if fortune favours the brave then misfortune is sure to find the cowardly Kyler. And before long his perfect new life begins to unravel, taking with it his masculinity, self-confidence and good humour.
Desperate for spiritual guidance, Kyler visits a tarot card reader. But instead of finding solace, he finds disaster at every turn and is, ultimately, reminded that there are two women in his life — one of whom he must not hurt.
But which woman?
The beautiful co-worker he is convinced will lead him to a better future?
Or the past love he is so determined to run from?
In confusion, the vulnerable Kyler decides to take destiny into his own hands. Quitting his dream job, he embarks on a prophetic adventure of love through India, where he is exposed to a continent of contrasts and a collection of characters with dysfunctional lives that rival his own.
He also discovers, somewhat inconveniently, the devastating truth behind his own broken life.
The Bikini Prophecy is a hilarious, yet touching, travelogue of the heart; an unhinged misadventure about love, loss, laughter ... and an unexpected date with fate.
---::---
Written by the world's most feminine Aussie Alpha Male, this entertaining real-life romp takes readers on a grey journey—from light to dark—to a place where 'happily ever afters' aren't always neat and tidy. Unashamedly aimed at those on a path to self-discovery, 'The Bikini Prophecy' will appeal to the more cynical and jaded readers of Elizabeth Gilbert’s ‘Eat, Pray, Love'. But rabid fans of that book beware … this tale bites back.
***PLEASE NOTE: This story contains swearing and topical content that may distress some readers.***
429 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 19, 2019
50 people are currently reading
47 people want to read
About the author
Matt Kyler
1 book1 followerMatt Kyler was born and raised in Australia’s remote far north. During his formative childhood years he was subjected to mild parental abuse when his parents refused to purchase a television like every other normal functional family on earth. Forcefully saved from the evils of the ‘idiot box’, Kyler rebelled two decades later by finding creative outlet as part of a writing team … for television. This foray produced little more than one of Australia’s shortest entertainment careers, thus proving right the parental advice that exposure to television would, in fact, rot his brain.
The Bikini Prophecy is his first book and marks his return to a form of broadcasted stupidity.
The Bikini Prophecy is his first book and marks his return to a form of broadcasted stupidity.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
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April 7, 2019🎁 FREE on Amazon today (4/7/2019)! 🎁
May 27, 2019
The Bikini Prophecy is an autobiographical travel diary that veers between hilarious insight, stark honesty and horrifying emotional immaturity. It's a rare insight into the walled compound that is the male mind.
Matt's writing is raw and honest. He has a knack for vividly portraying the joy and frustration of travel in equal measures. Incredible locations, squalid budget rooms, entrapment by con men and the consequences of eating food prepared by chefs without toilet paper - all described in enthralling detail. He charms strangers with warmth and friendliness - even having the forethought to pack gifts for people he may meet on his travels. There is a beautiful scene where he enchants children with the gifts.
Sadly, there is also a dark side. He is predatory and manipulative of women, and can turn violent and angry. It is rare for men to open up their emotions like this, especially to admit their failings. Men are conditioned by society to repress our feelings. Witness the common sight of crying boys berated with "don't be such a girl". When a boy shows emotion, it needs to be stamped out, lest he end up caring for or nurturing others. It is emasculating or embarrassing for the parents when their "little man" cries!
Raising boys to be "tough" does incalculable damage to society. Men have an ever-present voice inside their head, constantly ensuring they never reveal weakness or softness. Mine is screaming at me right now! In difficult or uncomfortable situations, the little voice is a self-imposed pressure cooker, ramping up the machismo to "solve" the situation "like a man". The manifestations of these "solutions" are unleashed on innocent victims every day.
I'll put my soapbox away now and don my melodramatic jacket. This book affected me profoundly. Matt pours his heart and mind onto the page and exposes himself completely and for that reason alone, this is a compelling read.
Matt's writing is raw and honest. He has a knack for vividly portraying the joy and frustration of travel in equal measures. Incredible locations, squalid budget rooms, entrapment by con men and the consequences of eating food prepared by chefs without toilet paper - all described in enthralling detail. He charms strangers with warmth and friendliness - even having the forethought to pack gifts for people he may meet on his travels. There is a beautiful scene where he enchants children with the gifts.
Sadly, there is also a dark side. He is predatory and manipulative of women, and can turn violent and angry. It is rare for men to open up their emotions like this, especially to admit their failings. Men are conditioned by society to repress our feelings. Witness the common sight of crying boys berated with "don't be such a girl". When a boy shows emotion, it needs to be stamped out, lest he end up caring for or nurturing others. It is emasculating or embarrassing for the parents when their "little man" cries!
Raising boys to be "tough" does incalculable damage to society. Men have an ever-present voice inside their head, constantly ensuring they never reveal weakness or softness. Mine is screaming at me right now! In difficult or uncomfortable situations, the little voice is a self-imposed pressure cooker, ramping up the machismo to "solve" the situation "like a man". The manifestations of these "solutions" are unleashed on innocent victims every day.
I'll put my soapbox away now and don my melodramatic jacket. This book affected me profoundly. Matt pours his heart and mind onto the page and exposes himself completely and for that reason alone, this is a compelling read.
July 9, 2019
This book took way longer to finish than I meant it to, but it was a very pleasing surprise.
I wasn’t expecting much when I saw a post from Matt looking for an ARC reader but this book may be the undiscovered gem of this summer. Brutally honest, funny, heart breaking and gave me the greatest sense of wanderlust.
I can’t recommend it enough, it’s good to know you’re not alone and Matt spins a hilarious web of successes and failings that give you that bit of fresh air you need to get up and go “yup we all got this”
ARC received in exchange for an honest review. Thanks you to the author and publish for the opportunity.
I wasn’t expecting much when I saw a post from Matt looking for an ARC reader but this book may be the undiscovered gem of this summer. Brutally honest, funny, heart breaking and gave me the greatest sense of wanderlust.
I can’t recommend it enough, it’s good to know you’re not alone and Matt spins a hilarious web of successes and failings that give you that bit of fresh air you need to get up and go “yup we all got this”
ARC received in exchange for an honest review. Thanks you to the author and publish for the opportunity.
December 24, 2019
I had this book in my library for about eight months before I pulled it up to read. It was the title that threw me. What a window into the author's thoughts, pains, loves, and travels. I enjoyed the travel commentary the most. For the man, personally, he's a weird duck. Me, me, me personality and a long time coming to simple recognitions of his ownership of his situations and circumstances. The fullness of his actions and the intensely personal expression of his wanderings, loves, and Karma are what makes this book valuable. How often do you get a glimpse like this?
April 2, 2019
The Bikini Prophecy takes its reader on a colourful journey; an emotional rollercoaster; a page-turning glimpse into the mind of the author as he questions his choices and looks for ... answers. Or something.
Matt Kyler's self-deprecating, witty humour and irreverent style make for an enjoyable read. The book brings laughter, sadness, wonder and, at times, discomfort. The vivid descriptions of his explorations of the "real" India and his sometimes comical, sometimes frustrating, always honest interactions are a compelling narrative. The Bikini Prophecy shows that sometimes life brings you an answer that you least expected.
Matt Kyler's self-deprecating, witty humour and irreverent style make for an enjoyable read. The book brings laughter, sadness, wonder and, at times, discomfort. The vivid descriptions of his explorations of the "real" India and his sometimes comical, sometimes frustrating, always honest interactions are a compelling narrative. The Bikini Prophecy shows that sometimes life brings you an answer that you least expected.
July 31, 2020
This is a travelalog with a conscience. Journey with Matt not only through India but also through some deeply traumatic experiences as he searches for answers, new pathways and new beginnings. Meeting colourful people who only seem to emphasise Matt's self loathing. Even though he is the master of his demise you only really want to give him a hug.
Well written...painfully honest....and hopefully cathartic.
Well written...painfully honest....and hopefully cathartic.
September 11, 2019
Highly recommended!
Interesting, arresting in its natural simplicity yet deep in thoughts and meaning. Highly recommended as a reference point of how you've been taking your own journey.
Interesting, arresting in its natural simplicity yet deep in thoughts and meaning. Highly recommended as a reference point of how you've been taking your own journey.
November 30, 2019
A fabulous reading experience - or rather a - journey!
This is straight from the heart. A book that pulses with laughs, love and all the gooey bits that make up life. 5 stars!
This is straight from the heart. A book that pulses with laughs, love and all the gooey bits that make up life. 5 stars!
November 1, 2020
This is the memoirs of one man who tries to escape from his life by going backpacking through India. Sounds like your average soul-finding mission doesn’t it? Did you love the movie Eat, Pray, Love and practising yoga and mindfulness? Then stop reading and rather go make a matcha smoothie.
Full review: https://westwordsreviews.wordpress.co...
Full review: https://westwordsreviews.wordpress.co...
April 29, 2017
Only Part 1 of Matt Kyler's debut novel is currently available - which I quickly finished. I hope we'll soon get to read the rest as this part travelogue, part romance, part dude-lit holds some promise. Witty, self-deprecating and sometimes irritating, yet a fun read.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews