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Go Suck A Lemon: Strategies for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence
People are not disturbed by things; they are disturbed by their view of things." Epictetus
Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it is an inborn characteristic. EI has been defined as, "the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions."
"Go Suck A Lemon" hopes to provide readers with methods for improving emotional intelligence by offering cognitive skill building techniques, thereby helping to create a less self-defeating and more enriching experience when experiencing emotion.
NOTE TO AUDIO BOOK LISTENERS: Thanks to everyone for your comments on the audible edition of Go Suck a Lemon. Recording the Lemon was tough for me. I have no training in voice performance, recording or editing. I am a clinical mental health therapist in private practice with a huge desire to share what I know with others. This audio book is not perfect, by any means. (It's as imperfect as I am.) It is, however, the VERY best I could do on my own. If you can tolerate my best effort, please listen to this version. Otherwise you may enjoy the paperback or the Kindle version. Thank you to everyone who took the time to review it. I am very grateful for your words. Cheers!
Emotional intelligence (EI) refers to the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate emotions. Some researchers suggest that emotional intelligence can be learned and strengthened, while others claim it is an inborn characteristic. EI has been defined as, "the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions."
"Go Suck A Lemon" hopes to provide readers with methods for improving emotional intelligence by offering cognitive skill building techniques, thereby helping to create a less self-defeating and more enriching experience when experiencing emotion.
NOTE TO AUDIO BOOK LISTENERS: Thanks to everyone for your comments on the audible edition of Go Suck a Lemon. Recording the Lemon was tough for me. I have no training in voice performance, recording or editing. I am a clinical mental health therapist in private practice with a huge desire to share what I know with others. This audio book is not perfect, by any means. (It's as imperfect as I am.) It is, however, the VERY best I could do on my own. If you can tolerate my best effort, please listen to this version. Otherwise you may enjoy the paperback or the Kindle version. Thank you to everyone who took the time to review it. I am very grateful for your words. Cheers!
200 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 2, 2010
About the author
Michael Cornwall
3 booksDr. Michael Cornwall is the author of Go Suck A Lemon: Strategies for Improving Your Emotional Intelligence and Grow A Pear: A Guide to Improved Emotional Intelligence. He was trained in Rational Emotive Behavior therapy (REBT) by Drs. Albert Ellis and Raymond DiGiuseppe. He holds Primary and Advanced Certification in REBT and Cognitive Behavioral therapy. He is an advanced certified Emotional Intelligence (EQ) practitioner. Since 1995, REBT has been his primary practice orientation. Dr. Cornwall’s secondary and tertiary practice models are Emotional Intelligence theory and bio-psycho-social awareness. Dr. Cornwall holds doctor's degrees in both general psychology and behavioral medicine. He holds master’s degrees in both professional clinical counseling and social work. Dr. Cornwall is a veteran of the United States Air Force.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
April 15, 2014
Kind of a biography mixed with some psychology concepts. Read instead Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman.
June 19, 2019
This was my first book on EI
It does not really take a scientific approach backed up by research or evidence but uses more logical ideas, instead, and makes them feel like common sense because of the way they are phrased.
Some of the ideas are a bit repetitive, but they are introduced from different perspectives, which, in my opinion, mostly makes them stick with you better.
It did help me a lot realize some things about my thought process and work on improving them, as it offers some direct approaches to solving your Emotional problems.
Some ideas were not that clear, for me at least, as the way they were applied in the book seemed a bit too specific to certain emotional problems, mainly ones concerning anger, frustration, or depression because of certain events that occur to us, but it does not talk about emotions that are not directly related to a certain event, like being depressed because of a magnitude of different reason rather than a specific reason.
It does not really take a scientific approach backed up by research or evidence but uses more logical ideas, instead, and makes them feel like common sense because of the way they are phrased.
Some of the ideas are a bit repetitive, but they are introduced from different perspectives, which, in my opinion, mostly makes them stick with you better.
It did help me a lot realize some things about my thought process and work on improving them, as it offers some direct approaches to solving your Emotional problems.
Some ideas were not that clear, for me at least, as the way they were applied in the book seemed a bit too specific to certain emotional problems, mainly ones concerning anger, frustration, or depression because of certain events that occur to us, but it does not talk about emotions that are not directly related to a certain event, like being depressed because of a magnitude of different reason rather than a specific reason.
October 30, 2018
Aren’t you so tired of the latest book that promises something new about emotional intelligence and then just proceeds to throw you a bunch of definitions? This book doesn’t do that! Read it!
How about the overly long book that could have just been an article for the amount of actual information within? This book doesn’t do that. Read it!
Ok one more. How about those books with really bad and boring writing? This book doesn’t do that. READ IT!
How about the overly long book that could have just been an article for the amount of actual information within? This book doesn’t do that. Read it!
Ok one more. How about those books with really bad and boring writing? This book doesn’t do that. READ IT!
October 27, 2023
Horribly written (almost dnf) yet sprinkled with a few nuggets of wisdom
May 6, 2018
NB! The audible version is annoying - the entire book has music in the background. The narration is rather slow and if you speed it up just a tiny bit, the music in the background gets even more annoying.
The book may be a good introduction what emotional intelligence is about. Unlike most other books on the topic, the book doesn't take an academic approach. Rather, it explains emotional intelligence the way I would imagine a psychologist would explain it - through examples and with clear actions that can be taken.
The book takes an almost biographical approach, so if you like a more personal, less data-driven intro to EQ, this is the book for you.
The book may be a good introduction what emotional intelligence is about. Unlike most other books on the topic, the book doesn't take an academic approach. Rather, it explains emotional intelligence the way I would imagine a psychologist would explain it - through examples and with clear actions that can be taken.
The book takes an almost biographical approach, so if you like a more personal, less data-driven intro to EQ, this is the book for you.
January 16, 2023
In a nutshell: Meh. It goes from a bit cult-ish to having some gems of advice. I would read with reservations. If you are a person who needs a step by step process, and exercises to help with changing your mindset, this might help. The man who wrote this is super into it, and likes to hear himself talk.
August 9, 2020
Self-published book filled with grammatical errors, condescending/patronizing tone, and reads terribly as an audiobook. The audiobook not match the physical copy (difference in content and number of chapters), and I have both. He discusses "emotional intelligence" theory and presents concepts in black and white, which has its own set of tradeoffs. Much of the chapters are repeating themselves, and don't seem well organized. (You'll come to chapters that are only 3 pages.)
Aside from that, there's some nuggets of wisdom in here if you can overlook all the warts. There's value in examining your own self talk, understanding that you have self talk, and believing in the power you hold and how you see yourself and approach situations.
There's probably plenty of other books that offer this in a much better format, with much more grace, deeper and more thought-provoking content, better organization, and better storytelling. It's very obvious that this is self published and I'd be surprised if any editors have gone through it. I wouldn't recommend the book.
Aside from that, there's some nuggets of wisdom in here if you can overlook all the warts. There's value in examining your own self talk, understanding that you have self talk, and believing in the power you hold and how you see yourself and approach situations.
There's probably plenty of other books that offer this in a much better format, with much more grace, deeper and more thought-provoking content, better organization, and better storytelling. It's very obvious that this is self published and I'd be surprised if any editors have gone through it. I wouldn't recommend the book.
June 21, 2019
I actually did not enjoy this book. I think a more suitable title should be What is Emotional Intelligence. Almost the entire book was spent explaining what EI is and how it affects us, in a very redundant way, and only added a few strategies at the very end. While that has it's own value it's not what I was looking for and I felt I had to drag my eyes through the pages just to finish it.
May 18, 2018
Interesting book
I have read a lot of books on emotional intelligence, but this book turned out to be special, it’s easier to understand and the theories mentioned are easy to practice.
I have read a lot of books on emotional intelligence, but this book turned out to be special, it’s easier to understand and the theories mentioned are easy to practice.
June 8, 2014
Go Suck a Lemon. It will take the force of will to do that. Brilliant!
July 2, 2015
I found the author to have an arrogant tone. Also the book was simple and repetitive but I did learn.
Read
January 8, 2016It's a great book to help you improve your EI.
Did Not Finish
January 29, 2020DNF @ 18%
I've been interested in the concept of EQ/Emotional Intelligence for almost as long as I can remember, though I haven't really sought out literature on the topic. Anyway, this was not a good place to start, but it was available through Prime Reading.
There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the organization of this book: short sections jumping between personal anecdotes (which often depict everyone else involved as "crazy" or stupid or both), gratuitously described sensory experiences, and direct quotes from Dr. Albert "Al" Ellis.
So I had barely any idea what point(s) the author was trying to make. The prose didn't help; I had to reread sentences and paragraphs to make sense of them, sometimes only to discover they weren't even relevant to what seemed to be the main point. (By the way, book literally opens with a self-description as "[the author's] interests in counseling, psychology, and fiction writing [blended] into the hybrid before you".)
What I did get was a lot of ableist proclamations that people basically need to get over themselves and stop assuming that the world owes them an easy life, stop letting other people affect your emotions, stop letting your emotions dictate your life. Just think about your thinking, and your life will be transformed for the better.
Yeah, I'm not buying it.
-----------
CONVERSION : DNF = no rating
Prose: 2 / 10
Intellectual Engagement: 2 / 10
Credibility: 3 / 10
Organization / Structure: 1 / 10
Emotional Impact / Interest: 1 / 5 [oh the irony]
Rereadability: N/A
Memorability: 1 / 5
I've been interested in the concept of EQ/Emotional Intelligence for almost as long as I can remember, though I haven't really sought out literature on the topic. Anyway, this was not a good place to start, but it was available through Prime Reading.
There seems to be no rhyme or reason to the organization of this book: short sections jumping between personal anecdotes (which often depict everyone else involved as "crazy" or stupid or both), gratuitously described sensory experiences, and direct quotes from Dr. Albert "Al" Ellis.
So I had barely any idea what point(s) the author was trying to make. The prose didn't help; I had to reread sentences and paragraphs to make sense of them, sometimes only to discover they weren't even relevant to what seemed to be the main point. (By the way, book literally opens with a self-description as "[the author's] interests in counseling, psychology, and fiction writing [blended] into the hybrid before you".)
What I did get was a lot of ableist proclamations that people basically need to get over themselves and stop assuming that the world owes them an easy life, stop letting other people affect your emotions, stop letting your emotions dictate your life. Just think about your thinking, and your life will be transformed for the better.
Yeah, I'm not buying it.
-----------
CONVERSION : DNF = no rating
Prose: 2 / 10
Intellectual Engagement: 2 / 10
Credibility: 3 / 10
Organization / Structure: 1 / 10
Emotional Impact / Interest: 1 / 5 [oh the irony]
Rereadability: N/A
Memorability: 1 / 5
July 6, 2020
The book explains emotional intelligence through examples and experiences rather than a hard academic approach. I did not mind it but I personally would have enjoyed a bit more scientific data included. Some techniques are presented at the end of the book. Again would have appreciated a bit more on those. Still worth a read.
April 29, 2019
Okay
Got boring after a while. Some of it was a bit common sense, but it did remind me to stay positive.
Got boring after a while. Some of it was a bit common sense, but it did remind me to stay positive.
May 31, 2020
Good strategies
Very good strategies but for me it was unevenly constructed. Some sections were compelling and others felt simple and - sometimes - unrelated to the topic.
Very good strategies but for me it was unevenly constructed. Some sections were compelling and others felt simple and - sometimes - unrelated to the topic.
July 17, 2017
The impact of the ideas in this book has been groundbreaking and perpetual in answering my life long questions regarding the idiosyncrasies of my being. It somehow answered all the questions behind the whys of the who I was and is defining who I am going to be, which started since the end of this book.
It told me how my thought process had been impacting all my actions in the past and how it was shaping my present and the future. How the answer to all those mistakes, bad decisions, foul words, anger was just the way I thought.
How just the way I thought can be changed and has changed in the last 2 months just because of this book, how I'm trying to painfully(yes, its hard to change the self sabotaging deep rooted ways you think) but actively altering it for the better.
How it defies the endearing but dangerous thought process of thinking in absolutes. And how it desparately tries to tell you that what you 'choose' to tell 'yourself' is the only and the only way which makes you you, or redefines you, for better or for worse and nothing else, period. It affects who you are, your habits, your efficiency at work, how you percieve the world, your decisions, the way you deal with people and most importantly your close relationships.
One thing I liked a lot was inclusion of some chapters which are detailed conversations between a therapist and a patient which show you evidently how sometimes we think like that and how some thoughts are just assumptions and lies we tell ourselves and are result of emotions we refuse to acknowledge. And how we can stop telling those lies and question them and ignore them and see the truth and choose to tell it to ourselves.
The author tries to explain everything in a way one tells a story in a compassionate way which is very helpful in comprehending and connecting to the idea as a whole. I'd say its one of the most underrated and best books on Emotional Intelligence, which just explores a simple idea which can have everlasting impact on your life.
And yes, it'll take the power of will to do that!
It told me how my thought process had been impacting all my actions in the past and how it was shaping my present and the future. How the answer to all those mistakes, bad decisions, foul words, anger was just the way I thought.
How just the way I thought can be changed and has changed in the last 2 months just because of this book, how I'm trying to painfully(yes, its hard to change the self sabotaging deep rooted ways you think) but actively altering it for the better.
How it defies the endearing but dangerous thought process of thinking in absolutes. And how it desparately tries to tell you that what you 'choose' to tell 'yourself' is the only and the only way which makes you you, or redefines you, for better or for worse and nothing else, period. It affects who you are, your habits, your efficiency at work, how you percieve the world, your decisions, the way you deal with people and most importantly your close relationships.
One thing I liked a lot was inclusion of some chapters which are detailed conversations between a therapist and a patient which show you evidently how sometimes we think like that and how some thoughts are just assumptions and lies we tell ourselves and are result of emotions we refuse to acknowledge. And how we can stop telling those lies and question them and ignore them and see the truth and choose to tell it to ourselves.
The author tries to explain everything in a way one tells a story in a compassionate way which is very helpful in comprehending and connecting to the idea as a whole. I'd say its one of the most underrated and best books on Emotional Intelligence, which just explores a simple idea which can have everlasting impact on your life.
And yes, it'll take the power of will to do that!
January 3, 2021
Emotional Intelligence, according to this book, stems from rational thinking and proper reasoning and the solution to any emotional crisis is present within us. It's all about our perspective towards it. The book is a perfect self-help book that guides through the concepts of Emotional Intelligence with diligence. The flow of the text is smooth and transitions are slick. Michael Cornwall has contrived the strategies in the form of stories, exercises, and excerpts from his psychotherapy sessions. This book explains how a simple tweak in perspective can do wonders for the psyche as well as our emotional well being.
The highlight of the book is the 'ABCDE' strategy which is effectively pragmatic. The way he brought magical thinking to subvert dogmatic views and irrational thinking is also commendable.
All in all, I'd recommend this book to anyone looking to excel emotionally in personal life to corporate life.
The highlight of the book is the 'ABCDE' strategy which is effectively pragmatic. The way he brought magical thinking to subvert dogmatic views and irrational thinking is also commendable.
All in all, I'd recommend this book to anyone looking to excel emotionally in personal life to corporate life.
July 17, 2019
This wasn't quite what I was expecting. Cornwall uses his psychology / therapist background to focus more on the science of how to adapt and change behavior that can best help us improve our emotional intelligence. While I was able to pull some key things from this book, there were chapters that were a bit over-loaded and hard to get through. I read this in anticipation of presenting it as a book club for my company, but I think overall it is difficult to get past the science to find those every day strategies one can use to improve emotional intelligence.
September 24, 2020
I think this is a book that speaks to a very large group of people. This book is going to shape my thinking in a positive way and fix the core thinking anomalies in myself.
Because I was bullied, ridiculed all my childhood, I hate to feel like that as an adult too. However, this book has shown me that people can have the least amount of influence over me if I can live contently with myself and I am the one making myself feel, not anyone else. This self-power is what I need for the rest of my life. Thanks to the author.
Because I was bullied, ridiculed all my childhood, I hate to feel like that as an adult too. However, this book has shown me that people can have the least amount of influence over me if I can live contently with myself and I am the one making myself feel, not anyone else. This self-power is what I need for the rest of my life. Thanks to the author.
September 27, 2020
The book has a really strong ABCDE technique for managing your emotions especially as it pertains to your thoughts and interpretation of those thoughts. The writing was not as sophisticated and made it hard to see the progressing from chapter to chapter and the point of each chapter. Another book that could've been 1/2 the size. The "force of will" statements at the end of each chapter were severely overplayed.
March 20, 2024
A mediocre (but accessible) read into the world of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy). Frankly the book lacked an internal logic and did not seem to be a coherent whole. It meandered from point-to-point without much force behind each idea or anecdote. While it may work for the layman as a beginner's work on psychology, I would encourage those of a more intellectual bent to find their insight elsewhere -- perhaps in primary texts of Albert Ellis.
January 17, 2020
Excellent description that lays out a beautiful plan about understanding and manipulating your own emotional life while understanding more about yourself.
After recently suffering a Traumatic brain injury and losing a significant portion of my memory, this book helped me re-define my approach to my experience through life. I highly recommend you read it and re-read it
After recently suffering a Traumatic brain injury and losing a significant portion of my memory, this book helped me re-define my approach to my experience through life. I highly recommend you read it and re-read it
September 10, 2021
Didn’t know what to expect reading the book but oh goodness it was one of the greatest!
A total eye opener. I have learned so much from the book and the guides to improve emotional intelligence are put in a straightforward and simple manner which was easy to understand.
This book is definitely great for people who believes their emotional intelligence is great but needs improvements.
A total eye opener. I have learned so much from the book and the guides to improve emotional intelligence are put in a straightforward and simple manner which was easy to understand.
This book is definitely great for people who believes their emotional intelligence is great but needs improvements.
July 30, 2023
Very helpful. Provides solid understanding of your emotions and a good strategy for managing them. If you are the kind of person who is willing to be internally focused (looking at things within your control) versus externally focused (looking at things outside of your control), then you will benefit greatly from this book. Recommended.
March 27, 2015
Was this a great book? No. Did it have some good ideas? Yes. Everyone can use a reminder on how to improve one's EI. This book helped me with a few choice nuggets sprinkled throughout this easy to read book do just that.
March 18, 2016
I listen to a LOT of audio books but couldn't get into this because of the really irritating music just barely audible in the background of the narration. It might be a good book but I didn't make it through the first two chapters because of this awful distraction!!!
November 3, 2017
Easy to comprehend the strategies as they are based on real life experiences. Author also includes his own experiences in emotional intelligence. Light hearted and also straight to the point. A good book to recommend for any beginners in wanting to improve their EQ.
October 5, 2018
I didn't get enough patients to go through the whole book because I didn't feel that I was learning too much. The author seems focuses on a narrow area of Emotional Intelligence, which is anxiety and chronic worries. If you've read Daniel's Emotional Intelligence, this book won't be that helpful.
February 2, 2020
Nice book describing how to analyze and control your emotions; various practical tips that are extremely helpful in real life making it a must read for all who are struggling with emotions that is affecting their wellbeing.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews