Why oh why does a book that I loved so much must end in such a fucked up way? I'm still pissed off about it 2 days later!
Joel has spent the past 2 years of his life in a relationship that was not only abusive, but went against everything he knows true about himself. Joel's ex is a "dom", an asshole who used power trips to embarrass and make Joel feel like absolute shit. Joel is not a sub, he hates pain and humiliation, and knows that he doesn't belong in this lifestyle. Joel realized his ex was a dom after being in the relationship for a while and tried to please him and be something he knew just wasn't him, only to keep the relationship going. We all make sacrifices for love, right?
After Joel got away from his ex and ended the relationship, he became a recluse. He managed to make quite a few friends in the BDSM world, but he doesn't know how to continue the friendships now that he knows he wants nothing to do with this lifestyle. His best friend convinced him join them for brunch and Joel realized he missed his friends and that they're a very accepting bunch who truly care about his well being. And then Andre shows up and blows Joel's mind.
Andre is a dom and a sadist, but that's no all he is. Andre is also a very sweet man who's caring and somewhat romantic. Joe has been lusting after Andre for a very long time, but he truly believes he's not even close to being good enough for him. Andre is hot, beautiful, mesmerizing, and confident, while Joel has a few extra pounds around his waist and a very low self-esteem thanks to his abusive ex. But Andre seems to be interested in Joel and their chemistry is out of this world; when they end up in bed together, they burn the sheets (and me) up. Holy shit these two can melt an iceberg in 2 minutes! The sex is hot and passionate and intense, with a note of desperation brought on by the realization that while they're a perfect fit outside of the BDSM lifestyle, they'll never be able to integrate that aspect in their relationship.
Joel is totally vanilla with some kinky sprinkles on top (like satin cuffs and blindfolds). Andre is a sadist and a dom who gets off on hurting others. And yet Andre and Joel can't stay away from each other and can't stop thinking of how good they are together. The solution is something I completely despise (and not understand the purpose of!!!)
This next part might be a little spoilerish, you've been warned!!!!!
Joel finds a solution to their dilemma: an open fucking relationship! Hell NO! That pissed me the fuck off! Andre has played with people before, including women, because he gets off on dominating and hurting a sub, not on their gender. After a scene he's always horny as fuck, but why would he need to fuck someone else when Joel could be there for that part? Joel gets off on watching Andre scene with people since the scenes are mostly not sexual and Andre is hot as hell in his intensity. He even said he loves watching him! And we know he loves fucking him! "Play with others but fuck me after" seems like the perfect compromise! Joel is a monogamous person and for him to accept an open relationship is too much of a sacrifice and not something that left me feeling warm and fuzzy.
This is more of a HFN kind of book, so if you're thinking about ILYs and happily ever afters you will be quite disappointed. 5 stars for the chemistry and the story, 2 stars for that awful resolution; overall a 3.5 stars rounded to 4 since I liked almost everything.