Things I Will Tell My Daughter: Uncensored Truths on Love, Money and Womanhood

by Joan Thatiah

Through a blend of personal narrative, social history and hard-eyed wisdom, Joan Thatiah delves into life lessons she has lived and learnt.
Into the big things, the small things and the things that today's young woman never imagines that she will have to deal with.

Genres: Love, Self Help, Feminism, Nonfiction

180 pages, Paperback

Published August 29, 2016

Reviews

[Empress of Bookingham · Rating 4 out of 5]

“As you grow up, you will realize that your body and how you look isn't even the biggest deal. The biggest deal isn't the skin you live in. It is the values and your life purpose. And your body is just a tiny bit of the picture.”  
 
I had a field day with Joan Thatiah's book, Things I Will Tell My Daughter. I see why it's among the top ranking books in Kenya. She doesn't beat around the bush. She is raw, real and direct. 
 
Her book is divided into 4 parts: 
 
📌Womanhood 
📌Your Heart 
📌Your Money  
📌Motherhood 
 
💜Women? Women! Own your body. Periodt!  
 
💜Do you listen to what that man tells you or do you sit there and hope he'll change? Most men will be real if not in there words but in their actions. Believe that.  
 
💜Her thoughts of feminism was clear enough for me to understand it deeply. It's not women versus men. It's about empowering equal rights for both genders.  
 
💜Are you dating an unambitious and thus downplaying your dreams to fit his? Are you attracting emotionally unavailable men? Ogah, run. Perhaps the problem lies with you. Also don't marry them hoping you'll change them. This made so much sense.  
 
💜Also work on that relationship with money. There is everything right about creating money. Pesa haitambui jinsia.  
I just love the way she writes 😍😍😍She definitely knows what she is writing and talking about. These are definitely things I I'd tell my daughter too.  
 
Wholesome read if you ask me. Can't wait to read the rest of her books.  
 
“The female body is in fact a source of power. This power however should be owned by the woman, not by society to be used against her. As in all areas of life, power comes with a responsibility. Your naked form is a representation of your power. You are thus responsible for who and where you choose to show it,” Joan Thatiah.  
 

[Katrina Msafari · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was well written and easy to read. I agreed with her on some thoughts and not on others. I enjoyed her take on Money the most and marriage the most. Had a number of take home points.

[Mugure · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was pleasantly surprised by this book. I started reading it with a negative attitude for some reason (classic case of judging a book by its cover-because of the title, I expected a rip-off of Maya Angelou's Letter to my daughter), but page by page, my attitude shifted.

Joan is very original and authentic. It's the raw truth of Joan's words, the experiences you can relate to, the radicalism and revolutionary way in which she thinks that got to me.

Ever mother should read this book. Every woman should read this book. Simply amazing!

[Brenda Kodawa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is your big sister guide to specific aspects of a woman's world. Her writing is simple and she goes straight to the point.
There are instances where I flinch because I do not agree with a concept she is proffering but I have to accept that it is her opinion shaped by her experiences.
I guarantee that most of the women who will read this will not be learning anything new.You will be reaffirming what you know and don't want to confront or accept or on the positive side, already know and have accepted and all you do is shout "Preach!" through out the whole book.

[Mercy Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

It pretty much talks about things that we as women already know but refuse to admit to ourselves. The tone of the book is direct and assertive. A refreshing read.

[Sonnie · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are valuable insights in the book but it's as though Joan is exalting some of the systems and values that hold women back in the country. For example, encouraging femininity is a bit reckless considering this is something that is imposed or forced on women all over.

Moreover, she seems to let men off the hook on fatherhood. It's not the responsibility of a woman to seek out father figures in a boy or girl's life, and families raised by either mothers or fathers or both or other combinations have shown to bring up kids just as resilient as any other kind of family.

All that being said, I'd probably have found this book much more valuable had I read it as a teenager or in my Early twenties. It is much better than most of the advice I got at that age

[Krista Joy · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Marry a man who makes you feel good about yourself"

"Don't,just, don't stay for the children"

"Make sure you flaunt your femininity"

I loved this book. Few things I did not agree with but I nodded my head most times and had a smile at the end of each section.
This is a good book for any woman to read.

[Agnes Nyambura · Rating 3 out of 5]

The writing is simple and easy to read.
She makes some valid points about womanhood, motherhood and relationships. Some however I do not entirely agree with.

Nothing you probably haven't heard before but still makes a good read.

[Kophen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. This is a book I would recommend to everyone be it male or female. It contains some hard truths that not many people are willing to agree with but it's fine and fun.
It's an easy read as well.

[Wangu · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s a simple read. The book attempts to guide women on various issues while considering the changes that have come about in the 21st century. Some chapters serve as good reminders. Some seemed contradicting. And I found it difficult to agree with some of her ideals.

[Tracy Sereti · Rating 4 out of 5]

More like 4.5 stars.

I enjoyed reading and loved how the author is raw in her writing. Most of the lessons are the ones learnt through life experience and any woman on the other side of 25 can easily relate with.

The author being Kenyan, I very much resonated with it.

[Martha Wanjala · Rating 5 out of 5]

This month I have been reading two very different books: The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest for our LBB Book Club, and Joan Thatiah’s The Things I Will Tell My Daughter. Quite the mix, right?

I have always enjoyed Joan Thatiah’s writing, but this book felt really personal. It is like she invites you to sit with her and reflect on your own life—learning, unlearning, and relearning along the way.

She shares little nuggets of wisdom drawn from her own experiences and from the hundreds of women she’s spoken to. Reading it feels like listening to a big sister being brutally honest, brave, and tender, telling you the lessons life has carved into her. Even though the book is framed as advice to a daughter, it speaks to anyone figuring out love, independence, identity, and financial freedom.

Joan emphasizes on self-reliance. She reminds us that financial independence is not just about practicality, it is about freedom. As always, I appreciated her raw honesty about heartbreak and the messy realities of relationships, especially in the 21st century. She doesn’t sugarcoat, but instead encourages us to value ourselves first. And personally, her reflections on motherhood hit home in a real way.

This isn’t a step-by-step guide kinda book, it’s more like looking into a mirror.

[Umba · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was my first book by this author. Before this I had never heard of her. I enjoyed reading the book, I could easily relate to some of the things she talked about while some things had me rolling my eyes as they were generalizations of women's experiences, needs, wants & ambitions especially on love and relationships. I understand that this was written from a personal experience but there are statements like "All women" which is not right when telling a story from one's personal experience.

I appreciates her lessons on money, motherhood and femininity/body. Overall a good read.

[IsabelW · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was my second time re-reading the book and it felt unfamiliar, but in a good way. Lived experiences are always the best teachers and I appreciated learning about womanhood, motherhood, money and love from the author’s own life. I agreed with a number of her perspectives, but also differed with others. I also appreciated the short chapters. It’s especially great if you’re easing back into reading.
Nonetheless, Joan Thatiah is a favorite, so I will always gladly pick up any of her books. And I love that she’s a fellow Kenyan.

[Daisy Gathoni · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wanted such a book even before children and especially having a daughter in Kenya, this was a needed read however despite loving and relating to some of the chapters and advice especially Career, money, family, friendships but I found others tended to be too unpersonal and disagreeable or too safe in my view. Maybe they needed more exploring and depth especially the chapters midway to last. I'm happy to have opened my library to Kenyan female writers. Can't wait to see more

[Esther Ng'Ang'A · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spoiler Alert!!!. I totally agree with the author on almost 90%. She said " Cohabitation doesn't mean anything other than what it is. Cohabitation means living together usually because of convenience,with perks of regular sex , a clean house and a home-cooked meal. it is not a catalyst for marriage periodt." Chapter 16 is my favourite.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite lesson, "There is nothing shameful about the naked female body." I might even dare say, the naked female body is delightful to look at!

I read this for the second time, and every time I do, I always regret that I didn't find it earlier, maybe in my early twenties, because I really needed it then.

Nonetheless, it's a beautiful book with the lessons so well articulated!

[Winny_boke · Rating 2 out of 5]

Am sorry but I got nothing new here. I guess When you're in your 30's this is pure common knowledge and facts once you've been married after getting your heartbroken a few times, after working hard on a job in-short just gone through life it's common lesson we all learn ladies. But I guess will save it for when I have a daughter at 19 this is profound and crucial information

[Ndikuo Thayû · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another book down #ThingsIWillTellMyDaughter again this is a book I'd recommend to every woman. We all need to reboot our thinking. Married or not✌️ Men can read this to understand some things from a woman's perspective. Awesome read #Guilty up next maybe🤭

[Artsy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a mind opening book,read it and learn things you could or will tell your daughter when you have one or more that were not told to you,you will probably see there is a lot you could say than you think..i love this book it was a gift from my mother to me❤

[Hope Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Loved it at first, but as someone who also struggles with self development books finishing it was a struggle. It was a gift so I pushed through and I gained a lot of perspective from it as well because she used a lot of personal experience stories to drive the story home, which always works for me

[Ndirangu]

The book doesn't say anything new. And it could say it a bit better. But it's relevant.

[Shantize · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book for anyone

[Rita Laibuta · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading it after "I'm too pretty to be broke" made it feel somewhate repetitive though.

[Mercyline · Rating 5 out of 5]

simply amazing. It has life inspiring insights.Thank you Joan!

[Wangeci Mwangi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love it. It's a great book! Its a family book.

[Subtle Bookworm · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am doing just fine.

[Marion Malika · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Very informative.
These are things i wish i was told too.

[Immahhe Immanti · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is so nice and interesting

[Daisy]

Liking the book