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Really Strange
Forgiveness is Really Strange
What is forgiveness? What enables people to forgive? Why do we even choose to forgive those who have harmed us? What can the latest psychological research tell us about the nature of forgiveness, its benefits and risks?
This imaginative comic explores the key aspects of forgiveness, asking what it means to forgive and to be forgiven. Witty and intelligent, it answers questions about the health benefits and restorative potential of forgiveness and explains, in easy-to-understand terms, what happens in our brains, bodies and communities when we choose to forgive.
This imaginative comic explores the key aspects of forgiveness, asking what it means to forgive and to be forgiven. Witty and intelligent, it answers questions about the health benefits and restorative potential of forgiveness and explains, in easy-to-understand terms, what happens in our brains, bodies and communities when we choose to forgive.
64 pages, Hardcover
First published February 21, 2018
8 people are currently reading
269 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 81 reviews
March 13, 2018
2.5 stars.
I'll start off with the positive. I liked the quotes and I liked how it talked about the different ways that different people dealt with forgiveness. I thought that the illustrations were pleasant. I really like the cover and the colour contrast between those who forgive easily and those who don't. I liked the illustrations of the people who told their story, it made it feel even more personal. I also liked the bit on pseudo forgiveness (constant forgiveness).
I think the main problem that I had with this was the fact that it didn't feel like it was edited properly. It felt more like a rough draft or a rough outline and it wasn't refined enough. I think it is a really interesting concept but it felt quite muddled and so the execution was a bit of a let-down. I also thought it was going to be deeper and more scientific. I wish that it dug a little deeper and that it was longer. It also didn't really hold my attention very well. I was interested in bits but my mind kind of glazed over a few times too.
If you think this book sounds interesting, then check it out but I wouldn't go around recommending it to everyone.
* I received a copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I'll start off with the positive. I liked the quotes and I liked how it talked about the different ways that different people dealt with forgiveness. I thought that the illustrations were pleasant. I really like the cover and the colour contrast between those who forgive easily and those who don't. I liked the illustrations of the people who told their story, it made it feel even more personal. I also liked the bit on pseudo forgiveness (constant forgiveness).
I think the main problem that I had with this was the fact that it didn't feel like it was edited properly. It felt more like a rough draft or a rough outline and it wasn't refined enough. I think it is a really interesting concept but it felt quite muddled and so the execution was a bit of a let-down. I also thought it was going to be deeper and more scientific. I wish that it dug a little deeper and that it was longer. It also didn't really hold my attention very well. I was interested in bits but my mind kind of glazed over a few times too.
If you think this book sounds interesting, then check it out but I wouldn't go around recommending it to everyone.
* I received a copy from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
May 19, 2023
"Forgiveness may not be as sweet as revenge," says Dr. Masi Noor, "but it seems to have fewer damaging side-effects."
Forgiveness is a powerful force, both on an individual basis and with a profound ripple effect out into surrounding society. This book would be good as the basis of a study or discussion group, but is not really something one can just pick up and read. It is reminiscent of a pamphlet or brochure in a doctor's office that gives a list of suggestions or things to watch out for.
So, five stars for earnestness. Five stars for tackling an important topic, one which is key to all of us learning to live together on this small planet. Five stars for emphasizing that forgiveness is not just something you do for others, but is something one does to benefit oneself: Forgiveness helps you live longer!
So many five stars, so why round down to three? Because in this format the book feels didactic rather than revelatory. The science and message could have been worked into a story line, and been more emotionally compelling; what we have here is a rather pedantic brochure with each page separate from the others. There is no flow.
And yet there is so much wisdom in this book! So much hope. The topic is compelling and everyone should learn more about forgiveness as a practice. I've shelved this book as "addiction" because the focus on revenge can be a self-harming, self-limiting addictive compulsion.
Forgiveness is a powerful force, both on an individual basis and with a profound ripple effect out into surrounding society. This book would be good as the basis of a study or discussion group, but is not really something one can just pick up and read. It is reminiscent of a pamphlet or brochure in a doctor's office that gives a list of suggestions or things to watch out for.
So, five stars for earnestness. Five stars for tackling an important topic, one which is key to all of us learning to live together on this small planet. Five stars for emphasizing that forgiveness is not just something you do for others, but is something one does to benefit oneself: Forgiveness helps you live longer!
So many five stars, so why round down to three? Because in this format the book feels didactic rather than revelatory. The science and message could have been worked into a story line, and been more emotionally compelling; what we have here is a rather pedantic brochure with each page separate from the others. There is no flow.
And yet there is so much wisdom in this book! So much hope. The topic is compelling and everyone should learn more about forgiveness as a practice. I've shelved this book as "addiction" because the focus on revenge can be a self-harming, self-limiting addictive compulsion.
December 25, 2017
I didn't expect to enjoy this read so much, but I did, not only because it hit home, but also because it was simply extremely interesting.
It's interesting to see how differently people react to being hurt — sometimes again and again by the same person — why some people decide to forgive and others don't. We all react differently, we do not hurt the same way, so it's logical we do not forgive the same way either.
Some people need time to forgive, and for some it's instantaneous. Some people need time to figure out how they feel about this entire situation, and some need to forgive the moment they've been hurt because it's their way to cope and move on.
The art for this book is simplistic but it's efficient.
3.75
Thank you Netgalley for providing me an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
It's interesting to see how differently people react to being hurt — sometimes again and again by the same person — why some people decide to forgive and others don't. We all react differently, we do not hurt the same way, so it's logical we do not forgive the same way either.
Some people need time to forgive, and for some it's instantaneous. Some people need time to figure out how they feel about this entire situation, and some need to forgive the moment they've been hurt because it's their way to cope and move on.
The art for this book is simplistic but it's efficient.
3.75
Thank you Netgalley for providing me an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
February 13, 2018
This was a great book for what it is--a short, succinct overview of the personal, social, and biological aspects of what forgiveness entails and what it looks like. No doubt this topic goes far deeper than these 64 pages, but this overview is brilliant. I found myself uttering "huh" and "yeah..." throughout the whole thing. Sophie Standing's art is just perfect--clean and engaging with a slightly mellowed palette--and now I need to hunt down the other similar books she's illustrated in this series (Pain, Anxiety, and Trauma, it looks like so far...).
Many thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers, Singing Dragon, and NetGalley for this enlightening advanced copy.
Many thanks to Jessica Kingsley Publishers, Singing Dragon, and NetGalley for this enlightening advanced copy.
January 5, 2019
Beautiful, important book that articulates well visually and narratively about the complicated act of forgiveness. Will share this with my future children as they learn to forgive and ask for forgiveness.
December 18, 2017
This engaging graphic novel insightfully explored how forgiveness operates in a variety of meaningful ways, as influenced by different factors, based on research from the Forgiveness Project.
January 30, 2018
OK ladies and gentlemen. Strap yourselves in for another epic episode of "Andrea Reviews" because this book is AWESOME.
Firstly, full disclosure: I decided to review this book for personal reasons. I have been struggling with the notion of "forgiveness" for awhile now so when I saw this upcoming work was available for review, I jumped at the opportunity to check it out. I can now confidently say that ANYONE who has ever had any kind of trauma in their lives and want to move forward positively can benefit from reading this book. And here's why: the authors don't tell you you have to forgive anyone or anything.
Wow.
It gets better. The authors of the work have done an incredible job of making the reader feel comfortable and understood. They take the time to explain why some of us find it hard (or impossible) to grant forgiveness and what we may lose by doing so. They also don't recommend that every situation calls for forgiveness. The writers reassure the reader that they understand that whatever you may have been through is bad enough that you may never forgive your perpetrator. And while I do recognize that the book is written by two people heavily involved with the Forgiveness Project (Cantacuzino is actually the founder) and understanding trauma is their literal bread-and-butter, speaking from the perspective of someone who has desperately tried to come to terms with their own personal trauma and find forgiveness, it is incredibly refreshing to have someone say, "It's OK. You may not want to grant forgiveness."
Talk about empowering.
But wait! There's more! The book also weaves personal narratives from people around the world who have granted forgiveness and why they chose to do so. Sharing their own stories of forgiveness is heart-warming and grants the reader-searching-desperately-for-answers an incredible gift: hope. Forgiveness may not be for everyone but the shared stories demonstrates the strength of the human spirit and how reconciliation can happen positively and work towards a better, more peaceful future.
The work itself is very short and very readable making it a book that should appear on all reading lists. Filled with information, resources, and a narrative that acknowledges both the gains and risks of forgiveness, this work will benefit readers young and old. Inspiring, informative, and reassuring, every reader should check this work out!!
Thank you ladies and gentlemen. You may now unbuckle your seat belts and move about the cabin freely. We have reached our cruising altitude.
Firstly, full disclosure: I decided to review this book for personal reasons. I have been struggling with the notion of "forgiveness" for awhile now so when I saw this upcoming work was available for review, I jumped at the opportunity to check it out. I can now confidently say that ANYONE who has ever had any kind of trauma in their lives and want to move forward positively can benefit from reading this book. And here's why: the authors don't tell you you have to forgive anyone or anything.
Wow.
It gets better. The authors of the work have done an incredible job of making the reader feel comfortable and understood. They take the time to explain why some of us find it hard (or impossible) to grant forgiveness and what we may lose by doing so. They also don't recommend that every situation calls for forgiveness. The writers reassure the reader that they understand that whatever you may have been through is bad enough that you may never forgive your perpetrator. And while I do recognize that the book is written by two people heavily involved with the Forgiveness Project (Cantacuzino is actually the founder) and understanding trauma is their literal bread-and-butter, speaking from the perspective of someone who has desperately tried to come to terms with their own personal trauma and find forgiveness, it is incredibly refreshing to have someone say, "It's OK. You may not want to grant forgiveness."
Talk about empowering.
But wait! There's more! The book also weaves personal narratives from people around the world who have granted forgiveness and why they chose to do so. Sharing their own stories of forgiveness is heart-warming and grants the reader-searching-desperately-for-answers an incredible gift: hope. Forgiveness may not be for everyone but the shared stories demonstrates the strength of the human spirit and how reconciliation can happen positively and work towards a better, more peaceful future.
The work itself is very short and very readable making it a book that should appear on all reading lists. Filled with information, resources, and a narrative that acknowledges both the gains and risks of forgiveness, this work will benefit readers young and old. Inspiring, informative, and reassuring, every reader should check this work out!!
Thank you ladies and gentlemen. You may now unbuckle your seat belts and move about the cabin freely. We have reached our cruising altitude.
January 25, 2022
To see more reviews check out MI Book Reviews.
I got an ARC in return for an honest review from NetGalley.
I got this book expecting psychological answers and ideas, I instead got a bunch of quotes from people in extreme situations. I don’t even feel like I got what the first half of the description promised. I want to break it down
What is forgiveness? This was covered pretty decently. It even went into forgiveness vs condoning behaviors and actions. This is huge and I was really impressed with this part of the book. I have had this argument with people and reading memoirs of survivors of concentration camps come to the same conclusions as this book presents.
What enables people to forgive? I don’t feel like this was answered at all. I can’t remember any discussion about what enables people to forgive or even what sorts of people forgive. This was what I was really interested in.
Why do we even choose to forgive those who have harmed us? This was discussed, but generally only in extreme circumstances of war and suicide bombers. There was little discussion of the smaller types of forgiveness that most of the people who read this book are going to experience in their lives.
What can the latest psychological research tell us about the nature of forgiveness, its benefits and risks? There was only discussions of the benefits of forgiveness, except for one example of physical abuse in new marriages.
So overall, this book had a great idea, but all of the examples are from extreme circumstances which makes the book inaccessible or able to be applied to most of the readers’ lives. There is little psychological or sociological studies on forgiveness. In the end it was just a motivational book of “if someone can forgive a suicide bomber for killing their kid, you can forgive whatever in your life”. It did not sit well with me.
I got an ARC in return for an honest review from NetGalley.
I got this book expecting psychological answers and ideas, I instead got a bunch of quotes from people in extreme situations. I don’t even feel like I got what the first half of the description promised. I want to break it down
What is forgiveness? This was covered pretty decently. It even went into forgiveness vs condoning behaviors and actions. This is huge and I was really impressed with this part of the book. I have had this argument with people and reading memoirs of survivors of concentration camps come to the same conclusions as this book presents.
What enables people to forgive? I don’t feel like this was answered at all. I can’t remember any discussion about what enables people to forgive or even what sorts of people forgive. This was what I was really interested in.
Why do we even choose to forgive those who have harmed us? This was discussed, but generally only in extreme circumstances of war and suicide bombers. There was little discussion of the smaller types of forgiveness that most of the people who read this book are going to experience in their lives.
What can the latest psychological research tell us about the nature of forgiveness, its benefits and risks? There was only discussions of the benefits of forgiveness, except for one example of physical abuse in new marriages.
So overall, this book had a great idea, but all of the examples are from extreme circumstances which makes the book inaccessible or able to be applied to most of the readers’ lives. There is little psychological or sociological studies on forgiveness. In the end it was just a motivational book of “if someone can forgive a suicide bomber for killing their kid, you can forgive whatever in your life”. It did not sit well with me.
December 23, 2020
I usually like the books in this series, but this one annoyed me. It is full of examples and reasons why one should forgive - who does NO ONE ever address what exactly forgiveness IS ??
The only answer I ever got was from a yogi friend ‘Forgiveness is when you desire neither revenge nor retribution’. Now THAT’s the start of an interesting conversation, not a series of ‘feel good’ feelings.
The only answer I ever got was from a yogi friend ‘Forgiveness is when you desire neither revenge nor retribution’. Now THAT’s the start of an interesting conversation, not a series of ‘feel good’ feelings.
February 20, 2018
3.5 stars
"Forgiving lies somewhere between the chaos of loss and the desire for order that gives meaning to our lives."
This book/graphic novel is a brief but interesting introduction to forgiveness as a concept of wellness and healing for victims. The book uses personal stories from figures around the world to explore real instances where difficult forgiveness changed a victim's life.
This book doesn't go in-depth into the psychology behind forgiveness, but rather brushes across the surface of the topic on multiple levels (psychological, social, physical, etc). I'd recommend it for readers who want an overview of the topic (with lovely illustrations), but readers looking for an in-depth examination might need to look elsewhere.
I was given an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
"Forgiving lies somewhere between the chaos of loss and the desire for order that gives meaning to our lives."
This book/graphic novel is a brief but interesting introduction to forgiveness as a concept of wellness and healing for victims. The book uses personal stories from figures around the world to explore real instances where difficult forgiveness changed a victim's life.
This book doesn't go in-depth into the psychology behind forgiveness, but rather brushes across the surface of the topic on multiple levels (psychological, social, physical, etc). I'd recommend it for readers who want an overview of the topic (with lovely illustrations), but readers looking for an in-depth examination might need to look elsewhere.
I was given an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
June 18, 2023
Normalizing little text that allows forgiveness to be nuanced. I think the goal was to make it small and accessible, but i did feel like I needed just a little more content from the research focus to help it do the work it wanted to do.
January 4, 2024
Nice, short graphic novel on the question of forgiveness and its complexities (particularly in the context of transactional forgiveness). Glad that the authors included two remarkable "stars" from "Aperigon," Rami Elhanan and Bassam Aramin.
Read
February 12, 2019I picked this up because I had been thinking about society's current state of cancel culture and whether this is helpful to us in the long term. I knew this book wouldn't answer it, in fact it had left me with more questions, which, as the book advocates, is a good thing to increase your capacity for forgiveness. The art reminded me a bit of a power point or an advert for anti depressants.
May 25, 2019
Challenge Completed: Short and Sweet
An interesting look at both the act of forgiveness and why we do or don't forgive people or actions.
An interesting look at both the act of forgiveness and why we do or don't forgive people or actions.
February 26, 2018
Forgiveness Is Really Strange is a collection of thoughts on the nature of forgiveness and its role in human relationships. These diverse thoughts are sourced from people who have been hurt in the most grievous ways.
WHO WOULD ENJOY READING IT?
Humans of all colour, creed, and cultures.
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT
Reading this book is like watching a documentary. I love the diversity of interviewees and varied opinions. The variety makes the subject much broader.
Full review at http://www.ysstephen.com/2018/02/forg...
Many thanks to Singing Dragons Publishers for review copy.
WHO WOULD ENJOY READING IT?
Humans of all colour, creed, and cultures.
WHAT I LOVE ABOUT IT
Reading this book is like watching a documentary. I love the diversity of interviewees and varied opinions. The variety makes the subject much broader.
Full review at http://www.ysstephen.com/2018/02/forg...
Many thanks to Singing Dragons Publishers for review copy.
May 16, 2018
This is such an important book!
At first I thought it might be the book equivalent of one of those annoying, self-righteous positivity memes - you know the ones that tell you if you just thought about sunshine more you wouldn't be so messed up? - but actually it's completely beautiful, insightful and I think probably a little bit vital.
In not much space it manages to pack quite a lot in and relates forgiveness to the wider world as well as making it a concept/skill that's accessible on a personal level to let go of distress, trauma and bad feeling.
The illustrations are absolutely beautiful - and echo perfectly the way that the text takes something has the potential to be an overwhelming, dry and complex topic, but makes it simple, beautiful and effective.
I will absolutely be buying this for several friends who I think would benefit greatly from reading this gorgeous book.
At first I thought it might be the book equivalent of one of those annoying, self-righteous positivity memes - you know the ones that tell you if you just thought about sunshine more you wouldn't be so messed up? - but actually it's completely beautiful, insightful and I think probably a little bit vital.
In not much space it manages to pack quite a lot in and relates forgiveness to the wider world as well as making it a concept/skill that's accessible on a personal level to let go of distress, trauma and bad feeling.
The illustrations are absolutely beautiful - and echo perfectly the way that the text takes something has the potential to be an overwhelming, dry and complex topic, but makes it simple, beautiful and effective.
I will absolutely be buying this for several friends who I think would benefit greatly from reading this gorgeous book.
January 31, 2018
**Big thanks to NetGalley for a review copy in exchange for an honest review.**
Written by Marina Cantacuzino & Masi Noor
Artwork by Sophie Standing
This is a brilliant read. All self-help books should be this short and too the point. They share lots of studies, and so many personal stories about forgiveness.
And you know what, it really is strange. I don't think I have it all figured out now. This book won't fix anything, but it does give you a lot of chew on.
Written by Marina Cantacuzino & Masi Noor
Artwork by Sophie Standing
This is a brilliant read. All self-help books should be this short and too the point. They share lots of studies, and so many personal stories about forgiveness.
And you know what, it really is strange. I don't think I have it all figured out now. This book won't fix anything, but it does give you a lot of chew on.
February 19, 2018
*3.5 Stars*
I was provided an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This book was kind of a comic book about Forgiveness.
As interesting as it was, I felt kinda betrayed because it talked about how forgiveness is hard to give and not an automatism for everyone and the more it’s expected to be given, the harder it can be to give but at the very end of the book they tell you that you should forgive and they give tips to help you forgive and that made me sad, I thought they got it...
The book was a mix of scientific things, quotes and illustrations.
It was pretty interesting even though I had trouble focusing at times…
I would definitely recommend to anyone who wants to know more about forgiveness though.
I was provided an ARC via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
This book was kind of a comic book about Forgiveness.
As interesting as it was, I felt kinda betrayed because it talked about how forgiveness is hard to give and not an automatism for everyone and the more it’s expected to be given, the harder it can be to give but at the very end of the book they tell you that you should forgive and they give tips to help you forgive and that made me sad, I thought they got it...
The book was a mix of scientific things, quotes and illustrations.
It was pretty interesting even though I had trouble focusing at times…
I would definitely recommend to anyone who wants to know more about forgiveness though.
March 18, 2018
I have also read "Stories for a vengeful age" by The Forgiveness Project which is a collection from victims and perpetrators that have transformed their pain and hurt using forgiveness which I found very powerful.
I'm not sure why but I found that "Forgiveness is really strange" had more of an impact on me. I think that it's something to do with the wonderful comic illustrations that allow you to really feel the messages that flow out of the pages.
Forgiveness is not pushed or preached but is explored in this thought provoking book. Highly recommended for all those seeking another way out of hurt and disappointment
I'm not sure why but I found that "Forgiveness is really strange" had more of an impact on me. I think that it's something to do with the wonderful comic illustrations that allow you to really feel the messages that flow out of the pages.
Forgiveness is not pushed or preached but is explored in this thought provoking book. Highly recommended for all those seeking another way out of hurt and disappointment
December 29, 2017
Forgiveness is Really Strange is a lovely book. I was rather fond of the art as it fit well with the text and topic. For me, forgiveness is always hard sand loved reading the personal stories included with in the pages. I always loved that the book included a quote about how forgiveness happens over and; too many time we forgive once and are done or we have the need to forgive the same people/things each day.
This is a neat look and a great way to get people on the track to forgiveness!
This is a neat look and a great way to get people on the track to forgiveness!
September 27, 2019
Meh. Physical book and layout, illustrations are all excellent.
The content is generic, though. It doesn’t say anything unique about forgiveness.
Although I would say that for someone beginning the journey of “why forgive” it could be helpful.
The content is generic, though. It doesn’t say anything unique about forgiveness.
Although I would say that for someone beginning the journey of “why forgive” it could be helpful.
January 19, 2018
I really, really, really loved this book. I loved it so much, I immediately recommended it for purchase for our teen collection at my job (I work at my public library).
As this book states in the beginning, it "explore[s] all these strange aspects of forgiveness using real-life stories and scientific research." When I first read "scientific research," I became slightly hesitant because I've read similar type books for this age group that talk about science and scientific research and it actually hurts the book and the message it's trying to convey. I am happy to report that was not the case with this book.
I love that this book talked about the various types of way people react to being hurt, whether it be because of abuse, the death of a friend or family member, or even a small occurrence such as a friend being mean. People react differently to being hurt; some react with wanting to forgive, some react with wanting revenge. And in this book, the science behind why people react the way they do is discussed.
Quotes from both famous, and everyday people who struggle with forgiveness are included, as well as quotes from people who have learned to forgive others, and in some cases, even themselves. The book also explains why it can be so difficult for people to forgive others—both the scientific and social aspects.
Another part of the book that I loved, and was so glad to see be included, was how important it is for people to distinguish between actual forgiveness and just excusing or condoning bad behavior. Because this book is geared toward the teenage population, I think it's extremely important that teens understand that sometimes it's okay not to forgive people for their purposeful bad behavior because forgiving them can have negative connotations, such as giving them the validation that they don't have to change.
There is so much more to this book that I could talk about, but I think you should read it for yourselves because my review of this wonderful book doesn't do it justice.
This book is also illustrated, which helps break up the text and nicely accents what is being discussed on each page. The art is wonderful, by the way! I would love to read more books with artwork by this artist. The other great thing about this book is that the pages aren't text heavy, so it's perfect for young readers who aren't big readers.
A HUGE thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for providing me with an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
As this book states in the beginning, it "explore[s] all these strange aspects of forgiveness using real-life stories and scientific research." When I first read "scientific research," I became slightly hesitant because I've read similar type books for this age group that talk about science and scientific research and it actually hurts the book and the message it's trying to convey. I am happy to report that was not the case with this book.
I love that this book talked about the various types of way people react to being hurt, whether it be because of abuse, the death of a friend or family member, or even a small occurrence such as a friend being mean. People react differently to being hurt; some react with wanting to forgive, some react with wanting revenge. And in this book, the science behind why people react the way they do is discussed.
Quotes from both famous, and everyday people who struggle with forgiveness are included, as well as quotes from people who have learned to forgive others, and in some cases, even themselves. The book also explains why it can be so difficult for people to forgive others—both the scientific and social aspects.
Another part of the book that I loved, and was so glad to see be included, was how important it is for people to distinguish between actual forgiveness and just excusing or condoning bad behavior. Because this book is geared toward the teenage population, I think it's extremely important that teens understand that sometimes it's okay not to forgive people for their purposeful bad behavior because forgiving them can have negative connotations, such as giving them the validation that they don't have to change.
There is so much more to this book that I could talk about, but I think you should read it for yourselves because my review of this wonderful book doesn't do it justice.
This book is also illustrated, which helps break up the text and nicely accents what is being discussed on each page. The art is wonderful, by the way! I would love to read more books with artwork by this artist. The other great thing about this book is that the pages aren't text heavy, so it's perfect for young readers who aren't big readers.
A HUGE thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for providing me with an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
December 20, 2017
An atypical subject that has a wide range of meanings and stories surrounding it. I enjoyed the simplistic art, which aided my understanding of the topic and didn't detract from what is being recounted. This graphic novel comprehensively condenses such a complex emotion. There is an interesting array of advice and wisdom within these pages. This includes the benefits of forgiving and letting go on the victims of hurtful actions. This is the self-help style reference that is needed in the world right now. We should all aim to effectively build towards both a peaceful world and a peaceful mind.
I enjoyed the segment of 'prescribed forgiveness' as I agree that it's a useless and unnecessary tactic to force forgiveness. There was also an interesting segment on abuse and how forgiveness is in some cases a double-edged sword. Often abusers may misconceive forgiveness with excusing or condoning the hurtful behaviour. Forgiveness is Really Strange also explores the cycle of hurtful behaviour and how not forgiving can also be emotionally damaging to us.
The only problem I had with this graphic novel was that in places it seemed overly basic. Personally, I'd rather it had a more questioning theme that allows more personal exploration. I feel that there were ample opportunities to make readers think that the author did not take advantage of.
With a variety of sources including first-hand accounts and psychological research, it gives an introspective look at what forgiveness is to us as people. Forgiveness is a force for good and very powerful in its own way. My favourite line is: "People will let us down and forgiving is about letting go of the expectation that they won't."
I enjoyed the segment of 'prescribed forgiveness' as I agree that it's a useless and unnecessary tactic to force forgiveness. There was also an interesting segment on abuse and how forgiveness is in some cases a double-edged sword. Often abusers may misconceive forgiveness with excusing or condoning the hurtful behaviour. Forgiveness is Really Strange also explores the cycle of hurtful behaviour and how not forgiving can also be emotionally damaging to us.
The only problem I had with this graphic novel was that in places it seemed overly basic. Personally, I'd rather it had a more questioning theme that allows more personal exploration. I feel that there were ample opportunities to make readers think that the author did not take advantage of.
With a variety of sources including first-hand accounts and psychological research, it gives an introspective look at what forgiveness is to us as people. Forgiveness is a force for good and very powerful in its own way. My favourite line is: "People will let us down and forgiving is about letting go of the expectation that they won't."
March 2, 2018
In its simplest form Forgiveness is Really Strange is a comic book about finding forgiveness for people who have harmed you. The authors and illustrator weigh the pros and cons of forgiveness and clearly believe that forgiveness is critical to heal oneself(s) and to help build a moral world. I do not believe in this basic premise. I don't think a person who has been abused or harmed has to forgive an abuser to have a fulfilling life. I do believe that a person(s) does have to come to some type of self-reconciliation and forgive themselves and work on issues of self-blame, self-worth and self-love. This is different. I have worked with sexual abuse survivors and whether they have nothing to do with their abusers, forgive them, don’t forgive him/her does not really matter. There are so many ways to have a meaningful life with a sound moral compass.
I feel somewhat differently about forgiveness between countries and conflict within them. I do think that forgiveness or reconciliation is necessary to being able to work together. The trauma of war, etc. needs a full airing in structured, protected settings so people can heal together. This is not a namby-pamby concept but very challenging and hard and we know from the South African Truth and Reconciliation testimonies that outcomes are fraught and in some cases negligible.
A thought-provoking comic that is fun and engaging. Concepts are clearly described I do not buy the basic premise or let’s just say that I think it whether to forgive or not is a complicated and multi-dimensional process
I feel somewhat differently about forgiveness between countries and conflict within them. I do think that forgiveness or reconciliation is necessary to being able to work together. The trauma of war, etc. needs a full airing in structured, protected settings so people can heal together. This is not a namby-pamby concept but very challenging and hard and we know from the South African Truth and Reconciliation testimonies that outcomes are fraught and in some cases negligible.
A thought-provoking comic that is fun and engaging. Concepts are clearly described I do not buy the basic premise or let’s just say that I think it whether to forgive or not is a complicated and multi-dimensional process
March 18, 2022
Quite shallow, less explorative than I expected. It felt very surface-level.
There were some small snippets of "forgiveness can be dangerous in certain situations, like abuse!", but is felt glossed over. It quoted a lot of big, prominent people who talk about forgiving their abusers/colonizers/haters, but... I personally don't agree with this primarily Western point of view where only calm people can be respected, only calm people can be listened to. If you're too passionate, you've become emotional and illogical. Perhaps a deeper exploration and dive into these ideas would have provided a fuller view of what the author intended to relay. But because of its simplified format, it seemed too simplified.
Palestine was also referenced three times in terms of Palestinians forgiving Israeli soldiers and colonizing forces which.... really disrupted any positive thoughts I had about the book.
Overall, I don't think reading this book would contribute anything positive. If you want to live with more calm and forgiveness in your heart for your own wellbeing, there are plenty other books. If you want to know more about the science of forgiveness, there are plenty other books. This book was fine, it may have made some valid points, but there are plenty of better alternatives to what this book delivers.
There were some small snippets of "forgiveness can be dangerous in certain situations, like abuse!", but is felt glossed over. It quoted a lot of big, prominent people who talk about forgiving their abusers/colonizers/haters, but... I personally don't agree with this primarily Western point of view where only calm people can be respected, only calm people can be listened to. If you're too passionate, you've become emotional and illogical. Perhaps a deeper exploration and dive into these ideas would have provided a fuller view of what the author intended to relay. But because of its simplified format, it seemed too simplified.
Palestine was also referenced three times in terms of Palestinians forgiving Israeli soldiers and colonizing forces which.... really disrupted any positive thoughts I had about the book.
Overall, I don't think reading this book would contribute anything positive. If you want to live with more calm and forgiveness in your heart for your own wellbeing, there are plenty other books. If you want to know more about the science of forgiveness, there are plenty other books. This book was fine, it may have made some valid points, but there are plenty of better alternatives to what this book delivers.
February 5, 2018
This graphic novel is within the same series as "Anxiety is Really Strange", which I have reviewed previously. One thing I like about both of these books is the art style present. This series doesn't seem to know what it wants to do, in direct contrast to "Anxiety is Really Strange", "Forgiveness is Really Strange" seems to have no scientific basis and is incredibly simplistic. This doesn't work so much for the first half of the book but becomes much better within the second half. Within the first half, forgiveness is explained. This includes explaining pros and cons of forgiving someone who wronged you, and the different effects this can have on the body physically as well as much more. After this, there are real-life examples of people who have suffered great losses or tragedies and have forgiven those who have harmed them for various different reasons. These vary from forgiving for their own mental health to wanting to help those who hurt them as they recognise that there are deeper reasons for their actions. Although I feel this graphic novel could benefit from a little more scientific evidence to back up the points made, it is a nice, simplistic piece which is accessible to everyone and the addition of real-life stories makes the points hit home even more. Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with an eCopy of this book in return for an unbiased review.
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February 13, 2018
I was impressed by this book on forgiveness, which uses information from psychological studies and real people to explain what forgiveness is and is not, and that it is different for everyone. It is a thoughtful, poignant book with simple illustrations that breaks down a person's reactions to hurt and their paths towards yearning for revenge or forgiving the perpetrator. At the same time, the authors are very clear that masochistic forgiveness, false forgiveness, or condoning or excusing bad behavior is not forgiveness at all, and can perpetuate the cycle of harm.
Basically, it boils down to an individual realizing that continuing to live with hurt, resentment and anger are draining and painful, and that letting go might be the answer to a more peaceful life. At the same time, the authors realize that forgiveness might not look the same for everyone, and it can be incredibly hard to forgive when those around you (or society at large) are clamoring for revenge.
I received this ARC from NetGalley for an honest review.
Basically, it boils down to an individual realizing that continuing to live with hurt, resentment and anger are draining and painful, and that letting go might be the answer to a more peaceful life. At the same time, the authors realize that forgiveness might not look the same for everyone, and it can be incredibly hard to forgive when those around you (or society at large) are clamoring for revenge.
I received this ARC from NetGalley for an honest review.
July 4, 2018
Este libro no se parece en nada a la estructura argumentativa que arma Steve Haines. No utiliza fundamentos científicos sino más bien metafísicos y psicológicos. El gran atractivo de esta colección radica, a mi parecer, en la capacidad de vincular la ciencia con nuestras emociones y sentimientos. El trauma, el dolor y la ansiedad, son trastornos que nos afectan para los cuales nuestro sistema nervioso y organismo se prepara o afronta de distintas maneras. Eso es lo que recopila Haines. Este librito, sin embargo, se queda a medio camino, con mucho cliché resaltado. "Perdonar es el único camino para sanar". Sí, quizás lo sea. Pero ¿cómo es el recorrido que realiza una persona que fue violada o a quien le asesinaron a su familia para perdonar al victimario, al responsable de los asesinatos, etc? Recopilar testimonios sin hablar de los argumentos o de los procesos (con base científica) a nivel general aleja mucho a este libro de la colección tan prolija que armó Haines. Ojalá sigan escribiendo sobre otras porque esta, sinceramente, me decepcionó bastante.
August 26, 2018
'Forgiveness is Really Strange' by Marina Cantacuzino and Masi Noor with illustrations by Sophie Standing is a graphic novel that talks about a difficult subject.
What is forgiveness? Should it always be given? What does forgiveness do to our brain and body? These questions and more are covered. There are lots of real world quotes from people who have been wronged. The thorny questions remain around allowing the person who wronged you off the hook to err again. We forgive for what it does for us, though. Not for what it can do for others.
Having gone through a tough bout of forgiveness, I would have found this book very helpful. I wish I'd had it at the time. There are no easy answers, but this book chooses a path that helps the wronged and may clear the way for restoration, although not always.
I received a review copy of this graphic novel from Singing Dragon, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for allowing me to review this graphic novel.
What is forgiveness? Should it always be given? What does forgiveness do to our brain and body? These questions and more are covered. There are lots of real world quotes from people who have been wronged. The thorny questions remain around allowing the person who wronged you off the hook to err again. We forgive for what it does for us, though. Not for what it can do for others.
Having gone through a tough bout of forgiveness, I would have found this book very helpful. I wish I'd had it at the time. There are no easy answers, but this book chooses a path that helps the wronged and may clear the way for restoration, although not always.
I received a review copy of this graphic novel from Singing Dragon, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Thank you for allowing me to review this graphic novel.
August 14, 2020
I enjoyed this short graphic novel about forgiveness, because, true to the title, it IS really strange. Noor, Cantacuzino, and Standing craft an elegant-but-brief definition of forgiveness from different angles, including self-forgiveness. Several quotes from this will stick with me, and I really liked co-author Marina Cantacuzino's statement at the end of the book:
"Over the years I've witnessed people put their friends or family into exile because of something they've said or done (or haven't said or done). It's always seemed such a brutal response to being hurt. While I'm dead against prescribing forgiveness, I've come to believe forgiveness is the oil of personal relationships. People will let us down and forgiving is about letting go of the expectation that they won't."
Letting go of expecting something (apology, redemption, recognition of wrong behavior) is a relatively new concept for me, but I appreciate it and find it helpful.
"Over the years I've witnessed people put their friends or family into exile because of something they've said or done (or haven't said or done). It's always seemed such a brutal response to being hurt. While I'm dead against prescribing forgiveness, I've come to believe forgiveness is the oil of personal relationships. People will let us down and forgiving is about letting go of the expectation that they won't."
Letting go of expecting something (apology, redemption, recognition of wrong behavior) is a relatively new concept for me, but I appreciate it and find it helpful.
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