New Romancer

New Romancer #1-6

by Peter Milligan, Brett Parson (Artist)

ISN’T IT BYRONIC?

He lived fast, died young, and left a good-looking (if a bit bloody) corpse—not to mention an incredible wealth of poetry and an immortal reputation for romance. He was the 6th Baron Byron of Rochdale, better known as Lord Byron—the original bad boy of British literature.

She is a 24-year-old computer genius with a serious fixation on old authors—Lord Byron in particular. Her name is Alexia Ryan, and her singular upbringing has molded her into the perfect coder to bring the struggling New Romancer dating site into the big leagues. But like a modern-day Prometheus, Lexy’s revolutionary software is built with stolen parts—and bringing it to life will have some very unintended consequences.

To wit: a reanimated Lord Byron, suave and randy as ever, walking the streets of Silicon Valley some 200 years after his celebrated death. Will Lexy find a new love for the ages with this preternatural poet? Or will the forces she has unwittingly unleashed consign them both to the ash-heap of history?

Comics legend Peter Milligan and acclaimed artist Brett Parson take up Cupid’s bow in NEW ROMANCERS, a Digital Age bodice-ripper for the hopeless romantic in all of us!

Collects the complete six-issue VERTIGO miniseries.

Genres: Graphic Novels, Comics, Romance, Graphic Novels Comics, Science Fiction, Comix

139 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 23, 2016

About the author

Librarian note:
There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name

Peter Milligan is a British writer, best known for his work on X-Force / X-Statix, the X-Men, & the Vertigo series Human Target. He is also a scriptwriter.

He has been writing comics for some time and he has somewhat of a reputation for writing material that is highly outlandish, bizarre and/or absurd.

His highest profile projects to date include a run on X-Men, and his X-Force revamp that relaunched as X-Statix.

Many of Milligan's best works have been from DC Vertigo. These include: The Extremist (4 issues with artist Ted McKeever) The Minx (8 issues with artist Sean Phillips) Face (Prestige one-shot with artist Duncan Fegredo) The Eaters (Prestige one-shot with artist Dean Ormston) Vertigo Pop London (4 issues with artist Philip Bond) Enigma (8 issues with artist Duncan Fegredo) and Girl (3 issues with artist Duncan Fegredo).

Series:
* Human Target
* Greek Street
* X-Force / X-Statix

Reviews

[karen · Rating 2 out of 5]

so, i finally sat down to review this book, and my brain completely shut down. i barely remembered it, other than the haunting memory of byron’s cartoon nipples, which were really upsetting:



i mean - look at those things! like crazy staring eyeballs:



and then i discovered that the mighty anne had written a review for this that is just sublime. i may know some shit about byron, but anne knows all the shit about graphic novels, and she breaks this one down perfectly. read it here!

she’s right - it’s a trainwreck of a book, and after that incisive review, there’s not much more for me to add. i had initially given this three stars because my love of byron and the fact that it came out on my birthday softened my heart somewhat.

but then i remembered this:



and i had to drop it down to two. because while i love juvenile humor and i love byron, this is just dumb.

i had such high hopes at the start, and they weren’t immediately doused. the premise is good - i liked the idea of byron brought into the modern age - the culture shock of a man famous for his conquests confronted with the modern age’s less coy approach to the art of seduction:





where romantic finesse is less valued, and speed dating gets right to the point:



and it could have been good. but then everything gets muddled once you have casanova leading some mad max gang:



mata hari showing up with her sass and her fists:



and ada lovelace showing up to drop her mad science:



it’s a mess of pudding and cameos, and the story makes no sense. as anne declares: This story is held together with cheap masking tape and retarded nonsense.

and grotesque nipples.

***********************************************

seriously, NO ONE was going to tell me there was a graphic novel about byron?? i thought you were my friend, internet!

come to my blog!

[Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

What was this even supposed to be?
I'm guessing someone actually read the script for this and said, OK! That sounds reasonable!, but I'm finding it hard to imagine why. I just don't even... what was this?!
There are so many cockamamie storylines going on in New Romancer that it felt like trying to read a bowl of alphabet soup. Except instead of letters, there's little noodles made of madness floating around!
MADNESS, I SAY!



Lord Byron's consciousness has somehow been downloaded into an A.I. body by a 20something named Lexi, who during her lonely teenage years fell in love with his poems. <--That does NOT even scratch the surface of the insanity that is New Romancer.
But I can't really explain all the nonsense that happens without giving spoilers, so:
SPOILERS AHEAD!



I'm not a fan of poetry. <--shocking, I know!
And I'm not a big history buff. I mean, I'm aware of the basics, but if you asked me who was a big deal in the early 1800's, I'd be really hard-pressed to give you anything other than a blank stare.
All the space in my brain that would normally hold this sort of information has already been allocated for stories about people who get bit by radioactive spiders.
Sorry, my kindhearted and intelligent friends, I got no room for shit that rhymes.
What I'm trying to say is that if you're going to write a story about bringing a historical figure back from the dead, especially one who writes poetry? Well, let's just say it had better be hella good to keep my interest.
This? Not good. Not good at all.



Alright. So this girl works for a smalltime online dating site/app, and they've hired her to come up with a program that matches people up (somehow?) by using a bunch of dead romance/poetry writers...ideas? Or something. It's harebrained!
She's stolen some sort of tech (not explained very well) from her ex-employer (they are EVIL, btw), and has used it to (again, not explained how) connect to/reanimate/clone the consciousness of her crush, Lord Byron.
And for some reason, others, including Giacomo Casanova & Mati Hari.
LIGHTNING STRIKES! And all these people come to life. Because?
BECAUSE!



Now, Casanova is evidently a Jokeresque serial killer who's out to get both Byron and Lexi.
Oh, I forgot to mention that Casanova steals life forces like a vampire. Just...sucks it right out of your mouth! And he has darts (love darts) that make you his slave. Yup. His minions shoot people with f-ed up love darts.



Mati Hari is a bit unhinged as well, and proceeds to kidnap Lexi's dad in order to force Lexi to bring her dead lover back to life. But then she falls for Daddy after she sucks cactus poison from his chubby titty.
Whut?!
They get married after her dad gets his prison sentence overturned with new evidence. Did I forget to mention her dad broke out of prison to tell Lexi that he and her mother had fucked with her in the embryonic stage so she'd be super smart? Well, he did.
Plus, you know...her dad experimented on her.
Like loving parents do.
But, hey, it looks like everyone is getting a happy ending!



Honestly, I can't for the life of me figure out why Lexi had a crush on this Byron guy. He was gross! And if she didn't know any of the gross stuff ahead of time, maybe I could see it, but she did!
I thought it was bad enough when she was talking about how he abandoned his infant daughter. Like, that's a MASSIVE turnoff. Ew. You're scummy! You know that guy who never wrote anything legible in his life, but stuck around for his kid? <--he's worth 100 Byrons.
Then she brings up how he fucked his sister.
Dude fucked his sister? What the What?!
And he's gimping around on a jacked-up foot! Are you seriously crushing on that?!
OhMyFuckinGodDon'tBeRidiculous!



Ok. Somewhere in the middle of all that bullshit, my head exploded. This story is held together with cheap masking tape and retarded nonsense.
Ugh. Easily one of the stupidest things I've read this year.

[Shannon · Rating 1 out of 5]

Worst series of 2016 so far.

Who thought it was a good idea to publish this? There is just so much wrong with this story that I don't even know where to start, plus I've already given up enough of my time and energy just reading this garbage.

Individual issue reviews: #1 | #2 | #3 | #4 | #5 | #6

Total review score: 1.5

[All Things Urban Fantasy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Review courtesy of All Things Urban Fantasy

We’re supposed to feel for the heroine of NEW ROMANCER; she’s been fired from her job, works for a tiny matchmaking site that is going out of business, and she’s a giant fan of classical literature. Unfortunately for us, she was fired for stealing important assets and messing up experiments, she’s not serious about her current job, and her infatuation with dead writers keeps her from seeing the potential in people in front of her.

Readers are supposed to be shocked that Lord Byron and Cassanova, when digitally inserted into modern bodies, aren’t quite as charming as their writing made them out to be. But any lit geek knows that most of these romantic writers weren’t very nice people. Still, there’s no reason to be treated to Byron farting while proposing “rutting” with our heroine. Gross.

For a book that features scientists and programmers, the technology makes no sense. It’s never explained except for telling us that Lexy is a genius and it works through “algorithms”. Casanova then hijacks the algorithms (somehow) to hypnotize people… I think? If they can create humans from scratch, there should be larger philosophical issues at play. Do they actually have consciousness? Can they actually make choices?

Greedy science and romantic hearts replaced any real character motivation, and the final showdown between Casanova and Lexy isn’t solved because of her brains to override his hypnosis, she just threatens to put his penis through a meat grinder. She’s as much of a bully as Byron is.

There were a few almost-funny moments, but overall this was a confusing mess with pretty art. This book is not for lovers of romance, of Byron, or of graphic novels in general. I don’t know who this book’s target audience is.

[Bookishrealm · Rating 2 out of 5]

I definitely loved the artwork in this one. It pulled me in and really appealed to my eyes; however, I found the actual storyline to be overwhelming and filled with clutter and junk. It didn't make sense half the time and there was just too much going on at once. I don't understand what happened Cassanova or Lord Byron. None of it makes sense nor adds up. And the ending was too perfect. This could have gone a lot better. I was truly disappointed and I'm not sure I'm interested in picking up anything else related to this series.

[Alex Sarll]

I'm a hardcore Peter Milligan fan, but I have no idea why this comic exists. Shy coder Lexy works for a dating app which, because science (the word 'algorithm' was definitely involved), resurrects her idol, Lord Byron. Also Casanova, who is apparently a pantomime villain and, to add an unnecessary extra level to the title pun, starts turning people into New Romantics. Doubtless it doesn't help that, because of another of DC's now-regular spasms of self-sabotage, the promised 12 issues were halved shortly after launch - but even by that point, the whole business was mystifying. It read a lot like a hangover from Minx, DC's well-meaning, slightly condescending but sometimes very good imprint which was intended to get more girls reading comics, spiced up with a bit of Mature Readers stuff like Casanova getting his eye poked out with his own mummified cock - except the details of the plot mean New Romancer must have been written pretty recently, so that can't be the case. Somewhere in here is an interesting point about how 'never meet your idols' goes double when they're from an earlier age whose different mores go both ways, but it's toned down so much in Byron's case - and exaggerated so much in Casanova's - as to be almost entirely lost. Leaving a weird science fiction romcom where the science, the romance and the comedy are all misfiring.

[Madeleine · Rating 2 out of 5]

I WANTED to like this more than anything.

I get how dating and Byron go together.
I get how necromancy and Byron go together.
I get how science and Byron go together.

But I do not get how a dating site algorithm reanimated Byron's corpse and why so many awesome literary characters are wasted.

Also you turn Ada Lovelace into a damsel in distress with daddy issues, so yeah, you lost me.

[Jasmine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well that had about seven plots too many, all of which they respected about as much as their characters and the concept of romance, tech, AI, family, or humour. (Which is to say not at all.)

[Cale · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's a massive discrepancy between the concept and the execution here. The idea of using AI to bring back romantic poets and historical characters into an era of Twitter and dating apps seems like fertile ground to explore. But instead we get a semi-coherent conflict between Byron, a murderous Casanova, and our socially awkward but genius programmer. There's also an aspect of a Microsoft-like corporation trying to hunt them down, Mata Hari, an imprisoned father and a dating site owner trying to be successful to marry his betrothed. It's too much going on, and Byron's personality never really shows him as the romantic heart-throb he's intended to be here. Alexia doesn't have much of a personality, instead just being the driver of the plot, no matter where it needs to go. There are some cohorts who just muddy up the story without really adding anything. The art is serviceable but unimpressive. As much as I wanted to buy into the idea of the story, I was let down by the execution. Maybe extreme fans of Byron will enjoy this, but I don't think anyone else will get much out of it.

[Chantaal · Rating 1 out of 5]

Actual trash.

[Selma · Rating 1 out of 5]

I lost brain cells while reading this chaotic mess!

In a nutshell: Lord Byron is brought back to life thanks to some programming/necromancy/science mumbo jumbo... it sounds cool and promising but ends up being super confusing and wtfesque!

That's what happens when you're a slut for the biggest fuckboy of history of literature, and actively look for him in other medias!

[Raj Bowers-Racine · Rating 1 out of 5]

This title is so bad that I'm no longer mourning the loss of Vertigo. If this is the quality of books post-Berger then I'm glad it's dead.

[Brian Poole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Vertigo’s New Romancer is an action/comedy that mixes modern tech culture with Romantic poetry for an offbeat, oddly entertaining series.

Lexy is a brilliant young coder working for the eponymous struggling dating site. Given an untraditional upbringing by her imprisoned scientist father, Lexy latched onto the poetry of Lord Byron as an emotional tether in her world of extreme logic. Mixing her work for New Romancer with A.I. tech that Lexy stole from her previous employer (the vaguely menacing Incubator), she accidentally brings Lord Byron back to life (or something like it) and learns the ups and downs of romance with her idol. Not only does Lexy have Incubator eager to exploit her unintended achievement, she’s also accidentally resurrected Casanova (an amoral, slightly homicidal emotional vampire) and Mata Hari (desperate to bring back her executed lover).

Writer Peter Milligan unleashes a lot of imagination on New Romancer. He doesn’t get too bogged down in the technicalities, instead exploring the entertaining aspects of a libertine Romantic poet unleashed on the modern dating scene. There’s a lot of humor and heart on display in the story and Lexy proves to be a strong focal point for the madcap shenanigans that unfold around her. Seeing her reconcile the reality of Byron with her fantasies about him can be poignant and funny in equal measure. Milligan gets a lot of mileage contrasting Byron’s pre-feminist conceptions of womanhood with modern notions of empowerment, often inverting the formula by having Lexy rescue Byron and helping him become a better person.

After the plot builds in manic and entertaining ways, it sort of just stops. Lexy figures out a tech solution to the main problems, which might make sense but isn’t as visually arresting. And a final confrontation with Incubator almost feels like an afterthought. But those turn out to be minor flaws. The story overall is very ingratiating, witty and surprisingly humane. Milligan largely succeeds in bringing the Romantic spirit into the modern age with a very contemporary sensibility. He even assays a sort of happy ending that leaves open some possibilities for a sequel.

Artist Brett Parson is a good fit for New Romancer. He employs an exaggerated, cartoonish style, with some clear Manga influences, that’s an apt visual representation of the plot’s modern-meets-Romantic ethos. Parson does some solid, expressive design work with the characters and employs a canny mix of traditional and creative layouts that move the action along briskly, while packing in smart, amusing details along the edges. Colorist Brian Miller wraps it all in a bright, warm palette that gives the proceedings the appropriate shimmer and glow, helping to keep the atmosphere light and fun.

While it carries a Mature rating, New Romancer isn’t especially graphic or vulgar. There’s the cursing expected in a creator-owned title, but the sexual content is mostly tasteful or played for laughs and never stumbles into gratuitousness. As a whimsical change of pace, it’s worth picking up.

[Chloe A-L · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a REALLY bad comic. This comic hates people of color, fat people, queer people, women (GOd this comic LOATHES women. I have no idea why the author wanted to right a romance when he so obviously despises women), kitsch (while simultaneously trying to be kitsch), sincerity, good taste, science, and good writing. It somehow manages to be both over- and under-thought in pretty much all respects, and is just. Really. Really. REALLY bad. It seriously is so joyless and unfun that it feels like it was written at gunpoint.

[Amanda · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 Stars - I really thought I was going to love this - I mean, Romantic Poet brought back to life? C'mon! It was super strange though and it was sometimes hard to follow. The premise has so much potential though. I'm curious what will be done with this next.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh! Clunksville, population: this.

[NinjaMuse · Rating 2 out of 5]

In brief: Lexy has programmed the world’s greatest lovers into a new dating app. Unfortunately, now they’re alive. First in a series.

Thoughts: I was caught by the premise of this—millennial programmer girl teaming up with her childhood crush, Lord Byron?—but it didn’t hold up for me. Sure, there were cute moments and awesome moments and the “head-over-heels” thing actually turned into character development, but overall… eh. A lot happened, much of which felt disconnected, random, or like the creative team had these cool set pieces they wanted to do and were constructing a plot around them. I had a hard time following some of what went on and some of the character motivations and backstories felt flat.

There’s just enough good here that I can’t dislike it, and just enough not-good that I can’t like it. Unfortunately. Even the images of Casanova as an evil glam rocker can’t redeem it.

Warnings: Gore. Sexist characters.

5/10

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lexy Ryan is a great character - smart, resourceful, headstrong and determined - everything I'd want in a female lead, but this series was really weird (in good and bad ways) and I was kind of confused at times with the dozen storylines going on. However, despite that, I actually liked it. It's quirky, unique and memorable. The illustrations were my favourite thing about it and I also liked the merging of past and modern - even though as a result of that, the images of famous historical figures were a bit skewed. Odd as it was, I enjoyed it and I'll be checking out more of Peter Milligan's work.

[Shannon]

Sure to win the prize for the most WTF book I have read in recent years.

Romantic poet Lord Byron was the deadbeat dad of computing pioneer, Ada Lovelace. True story. And in a wacky sci-fi mashup, an evil tech company has resurrected Byron and others, by combining genetic engineering, lightning, and online dating profiles of the world's most famous lovers. It's sometimes clever and always convoluted as the term New Romance takes on multiple meanings.

And there's a panel of Casanova sustaining an injury that I'd like to unsee, please. Read at your own risk.

[Kai Charles(Fiction State Of Mind) · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really struggled with this book. The art is amazing and the premise interesting. Lexie is a Lord Byron fangirl. She has been for a very long time. So much so that she has created an algorithm for her dating website that mimics all of Byron's personality. When an evil corporation hijacks the tech and puts it in a "golem" body Byron now walking in front of her. The two go on a madcap caper as Byron is introduced to the modern world.

I tried hard to care about the characters but I couldn't connect with them. I had to force myself to finish.

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you are a total Byron fanatic you might find this annoying. But it was a pretty interesting study of the less-knowledgeable fans' perception of Byron and the reality (that he is a self-indulgent, sexist jerk as clearly demonstrated by historical documents!). But was Casanova that horrible? Wasn't sure about that. Also, find it hard to believe that the protagonist (a total Byron fangirl) could be so shocked/ ignorant about what Byron was actually like.

[Francine · Rating 2 out of 5]

One star for the art and one for the history lessons. I like Byron's hair.

I didn't enjoy the plot, I don't care for the characters and I didn't particularly like the ending.

There is a panel in which the protagonist hits Giacomo Casanova in the eye with his dismembered mummified penis.

I'm going to wiki Lord Byron, Casanova, Ada Lovelace and Mata Hari now, because their lives seem interesting. (Certainly more interesting than this comic.)

[Brianna · Rating 1 out of 5]

A good basic premise that was strangely rushed, introduced too many characters and had so many nonsensical plot points. Like, what the fuck was happening? Mata Hari just shows up? Cassanova is inexplicably a sex vampire? Lexy is the worlds greatest programmer but can't do this one thing? What was up with her parents? What was up with this whole story? Ugh.

[Gabby Gilliam · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked up this book on sale at my local comic shop. It had a very Pride and Prejudice vibe. I see it's not rated very highly here, but I thought this was a fun little read. The concept was very far-fetched, but it didn't bother me. There are some racy panels, so I would not recommend for teen readers.

[Hominy · Rating 1 out of 5]

It wasn't what I was expecting. There was some nudity. There was a lot more violence than I thought there would be; and it was just kind of disgusting in parts. On top of all of that I didn't feel like the story itself flowed very well.

[Alaina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really gave this my best shot and attempted to read it, but it was just too weird. Too many unnecessary plot points and too many characters. It's not even cute or funny. It's actually really sad and I didn't connect or like any of the characters - who do I cheer for?

[Tanvir Muntasim · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mildly amusing at best of times but ultimately disappointing mash-up of science fiction/fantasy and romance. In my defense, it was in a list of year's best graphic novels and I thought I would try it out! Alas, not time well spent!

[Lisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not 100% sure what I just read with New Romancer. It was cute and quirky but with massive plot holes and gaps in story logic that were just a tad too much. I liked the art a lot but the overall story line left me confused and not happy with my time invested into this.

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story was all over the place, but the artwork was very well done.