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Wenceslas: A Ghost's Story
What if being a ghost was a birth defect?
Wenceslas Flynn defies all medical science. He was born an apparition, or at least looking like one: filmy, vaporous, seemingly manifested from tragedy. As the world's only living "ghost", Wenceslas grows up to weigh just fourteen pounds, is barely opaque, and never consumes anything. Bemused doctors conclude he suffers from CAS: Composite Apparition Syndrome. Though able to float and pass through walls, Wenceslas refuses to perform such spectral nonsense, trying instead to live as a normal person while openly scornful of the supernatural. "There are no such things as ghosts," he tells everyone.
Wenceslas' desire for anonymity allows him blessed obscurity for a time until a high school bully’s failed attack on him goes viral. He unwittingly becomes famous all over again and is thrust into the fetid maw of reality TV where his paranormal abilities make for monster ratings. But after a disastrous live special renders him a public pariah, he flees Hollywood and disappears into small town America where he ends up working at a warehouse mega-store and falling in love. It's while alone in the store overnight pulling a dusk-to-dawn shift that Wenceslas encounters actual ghosts. And they’re nothing like he – or the reader - expects.
Along the way, three women complicate Wenceslas’ life: His beautiful but ruthless talent manager, a cynical cashier, and a lonely teenage girl whom he reluctantly befriends while “haunting” an empty hotel where he waits for The Fade.
WENCESLAS: A GHOST'S LIFE skewers celebrity and exploitation as an oddity struggles to find love and loyalty in a world where people wonder why he doesn't try harder to scare the hell out of them.
Wenceslas Flynn defies all medical science. He was born an apparition, or at least looking like one: filmy, vaporous, seemingly manifested from tragedy. As the world's only living "ghost", Wenceslas grows up to weigh just fourteen pounds, is barely opaque, and never consumes anything. Bemused doctors conclude he suffers from CAS: Composite Apparition Syndrome. Though able to float and pass through walls, Wenceslas refuses to perform such spectral nonsense, trying instead to live as a normal person while openly scornful of the supernatural. "There are no such things as ghosts," he tells everyone.
Wenceslas' desire for anonymity allows him blessed obscurity for a time until a high school bully’s failed attack on him goes viral. He unwittingly becomes famous all over again and is thrust into the fetid maw of reality TV where his paranormal abilities make for monster ratings. But after a disastrous live special renders him a public pariah, he flees Hollywood and disappears into small town America where he ends up working at a warehouse mega-store and falling in love. It's while alone in the store overnight pulling a dusk-to-dawn shift that Wenceslas encounters actual ghosts. And they’re nothing like he – or the reader - expects.
Along the way, three women complicate Wenceslas’ life: His beautiful but ruthless talent manager, a cynical cashier, and a lonely teenage girl whom he reluctantly befriends while “haunting” an empty hotel where he waits for The Fade.
WENCESLAS: A GHOST'S LIFE skewers celebrity and exploitation as an oddity struggles to find love and loyalty in a world where people wonder why he doesn't try harder to scare the hell out of them.
Kindle Edition
Published August 26, 2016
About the author
Tom Reynolds
5 books5 followers"There are many great humour writers alive now. If essays in particular and a savage outlook are your thing, here’s the best. Read the collected Merrill Markoe, Jon Ronson, Mark Steel, Cintra Wilson, Dave Barry, Craig Brown, John Crace, Tim Dowling, Guy Browning, Patricia Marx, Will Ferguson, Bill Bryson, TOM REYNOLDS, Paul Rudnick, Ian Frazier, John O’Farrell, Armando Iannucci and Nicholas Lezard....Tom Reynolds’ I HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE is a painful analysis of the American pop ballad, a comedy classic."
- Toronto Star columnist Heather Mallick in THE GUARDIAN, June 25, 2013
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: "Ten Things We Love This Week"
3. I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE, by Tom Reynolds
"This roundup of 52 of the most maudlin songs ever penned, from Manilow to Metallica, will move you to tears of despair — or shrieks of helpless laughter."
DANNY HUTTON, co-founder-THREE DOG NIGHT: "A cunning, devastating autopsy . . . I found myself strangely attracted."
SEB HUNTER, author, HELL BENT FOR LEATHER and ROCK ME, AMADEUS: "Here is incontrovertible proof that pop stars are all healthy, well-adjusted individuals. I laughed and self-harmed in equal measure."
PLAYBOY: "There must be a section of Tom Reynolds's record collection that wards off disc jockeys like a cross repels vampires. The writer/TV producer's steep descent into depressing pop music, I Hate Myself and Want to Die is a humorous song-by-song analysis of the most egregious examples of audio torture. Its title may sound like a hackneyed VH1 special, but Reynolds steps above pointless banter by demonstrating some serious scholarship."
ANNE STEPHENSON, THE REPUBLIC: "To write a book like this, you need a working knowledge of music recorded over the past 70 years and an astute and merciless sense of humor. Tom Reynolds is our man.".
ROB LESTER, EDGE MAGAZINE: "What makes this book so worthwhile and more than just cathartic (oh, it is that!) is the humor. Reynolds’ language is colorful and clever and his greatest skills are sarcasm and funny, funny exaggeration for effect... Smug? Absolutely. But it’s mostly a hoot."
PUCKNATION: "I Hate Myself and Want to Die is one of the most brilliant looks at music and popular culture I've read in a long time. This collection of essays rips through music with ludicrous comments, humor and sarcasm. Reynolds’ knack for timing and wit allows him to tear seemlessly through these songs, with great results....An instant classic and perfect bathroom reading."
PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY: "Thoughtful and vivid. . . . This should start many debates among pop music die-hards."
NEW MUSIC EXPRESS (NME): "Full of premium trivia and pinpoint pomposity pricking, Reynolds has made comedy gold from the full base metal of misery."
WHAT'S ON IN LONDON: "A sustained and superbly observed insight into some of rock music's most memorable follies, it is an absolute must-read. Brilliant."
UNCUT Magazine: "Tom Reynolds, an American TV producer who manages to combine the wit of Dave Barry with the musical tastes of a bath towel, takes a simple concept and pulls great big inappropriate belly laughs from it....Genius."
ROCKNWORLD: "Don'tcha just love discovering a book that is too funny to be read in public, that makes eating or drinking while reading it a sure way to choke & die? What makes the subject matter of this book even better is its importance & truth.....His treatments of Evanescence's entry on the list & Metallica are so funny that I wish I could quote the entire chapters here."
UNDER THE RADAR: "Reynold's casual, comedic prose suits the subject well, conjuring up more than a few laugh-out-loud moments."
FEATURED ARTICLES/REVIEWS
Esquire; Newsday; Rolling Stone (Germany); New Music Express; Macleans (Canada); Los Angeles Times; Boston Herald; Austin Chronicle; Minneapolis Star Tribune; Arizona Republic; BBC News, RTE 1, Guardian UK, The Independent, Vogue, Sunday Mail (AU). Under the Radar Magazine; Paperc
- Toronto Star columnist Heather Mallick in THE GUARDIAN, June 25, 2013
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: "Ten Things We Love This Week"
3. I HATE MYSELF AND I WANT TO DIE, by Tom Reynolds
"This roundup of 52 of the most maudlin songs ever penned, from Manilow to Metallica, will move you to tears of despair — or shrieks of helpless laughter."
DANNY HUTTON, co-founder-THREE DOG NIGHT: "A cunning, devastating autopsy . . . I found myself strangely attracted."
SEB HUNTER, author, HELL BENT FOR LEATHER and ROCK ME, AMADEUS: "Here is incontrovertible proof that pop stars are all healthy, well-adjusted individuals. I laughed and self-harmed in equal measure."
PLAYBOY: "There must be a section of Tom Reynolds's record collection that wards off disc jockeys like a cross repels vampires. The writer/TV producer's steep descent into depressing pop music, I Hate Myself and Want to Die is a humorous song-by-song analysis of the most egregious examples of audio torture. Its title may sound like a hackneyed VH1 special, but Reynolds steps above pointless banter by demonstrating some serious scholarship."
ANNE STEPHENSON, THE REPUBLIC: "To write a book like this, you need a working knowledge of music recorded over the past 70 years and an astute and merciless sense of humor. Tom Reynolds is our man.".
ROB LESTER, EDGE MAGAZINE: "What makes this book so worthwhile and more than just cathartic (oh, it is that!) is the humor. Reynolds’ language is colorful and clever and his greatest skills are sarcasm and funny, funny exaggeration for effect... Smug? Absolutely. But it’s mostly a hoot."
PUCKNATION: "I Hate Myself and Want to Die is one of the most brilliant looks at music and popular culture I've read in a long time. This collection of essays rips through music with ludicrous comments, humor and sarcasm. Reynolds’ knack for timing and wit allows him to tear seemlessly through these songs, with great results....An instant classic and perfect bathroom reading."
PUBLISHER'S WEEKLY: "Thoughtful and vivid. . . . This should start many debates among pop music die-hards."
NEW MUSIC EXPRESS (NME): "Full of premium trivia and pinpoint pomposity pricking, Reynolds has made comedy gold from the full base metal of misery."
WHAT'S ON IN LONDON: "A sustained and superbly observed insight into some of rock music's most memorable follies, it is an absolute must-read. Brilliant."
UNCUT Magazine: "Tom Reynolds, an American TV producer who manages to combine the wit of Dave Barry with the musical tastes of a bath towel, takes a simple concept and pulls great big inappropriate belly laughs from it....Genius."
ROCKNWORLD: "Don'tcha just love discovering a book that is too funny to be read in public, that makes eating or drinking while reading it a sure way to choke & die? What makes the subject matter of this book even better is its importance & truth.....His treatments of Evanescence's entry on the list & Metallica are so funny that I wish I could quote the entire chapters here."
UNDER THE RADAR: "Reynold's casual, comedic prose suits the subject well, conjuring up more than a few laugh-out-loud moments."
FEATURED ARTICLES/REVIEWS
Esquire; Newsday; Rolling Stone (Germany); New Music Express; Macleans (Canada); Los Angeles Times; Boston Herald; Austin Chronicle; Minneapolis Star Tribune; Arizona Republic; BBC News, RTE 1, Guardian UK, The Independent, Vogue, Sunday Mail (AU). Under the Radar Magazine; Paperc
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