Our Socially Awkward Marriage: Stories from an Adult Relationship on the Asperger's End of the Autism Spectrum

by Tom Peters, Linda Peters

If David Sedaris and Temple Grandin had a love child, this book would be it. In this fearless collection of smart and funny true stories, Tom and Linda Peters bring humor and heart to the subject of Asperger's Syndrome. As real-life counterparts to the fictional couple in Graeme Simsion's The Rosie Project, Tom and Linda give readers a candid and hilarious look into an authentic Asperger's marriage. Raw and personal, these humorous bite-sized essays are dedicated to everyone who (despite their best efforts) seems to blurt out inappropriate facts and say odd things at precisely the wrong time. Read this Book to Learn Useful Life Skills Why Watching Spawning Fish Might Not Be the Best Idea for a First Date How to Get Your Asperger's Husband to Happily Load the Dishwasher with One Simple Tweak of Language How to Rescue Your Wife from a Wild Opossum with One Phone Call How to Deal with Crushing eBay Disappointment When Your Banjolele Gets Suddenly Sniped How to Put the World Back Together Again When You Wake Up in a Sea of Hawaiian Shirts At just five years old, composer and GRAMMY-nominated classical musician Tom Peters first suspected that there was something wrong with him. He couldn't figure out what it was, though, because he was busy conducting Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture with an orchestra of teddy bears lined up on his racecar bed. Like the author of The Journal of Best Practices, Tom went looking for answers as an adult. With Linda, the love of his life, he hoped to find out why people were so much harder to understand than 16th Century counterpoint or basic quantum physics. At the age of 47, Tom was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a high-functioning form or autism. Being unable to understand nonverbal communication or how you relate to other people around you can lead to situations that are full of both humor and pain. Like Higashida's The Reason I Jump, this book helps people to better understand what goes on inside the mind of someone on the spectrum. If you're feeling a little socially awkward, you're not alone. Whether you're an introvert, have social anxiety, or have been labeled with an acronym like ADD, OCD, ADHD, NVLD, PTSD or ASD, we all have the same human needs to feel loved, respected and understood. The practical strategies employed in these little stories can be used immediately to help you find better ways to communicate and finally feel heard. If you identified with Jenny Lawson's laugh-out-loud books about living with depression and anxiety, you won't want to miss Our Socially Awkward Marriage. This humorous and inspiring read will make you laugh, cry and feel empowered. And it will stay with you long after you finish reading about why pugs in Christmas sweaters should rarely be squeezed. Scroll up to the orange BUY button and get your copy now!

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Marriage, Psychology, Memoir, Family, Self Help

64 pages, ebook

Published August 31, 2016

Reviews

[Paige Erin · Rating 1 out of 5]

A lot of these essays had absolutely nothing (that I could discern) to do with the title of the book. It's possible a lot of this went over my head in some way but how does a short essay on buying a phone with medical apps relate to a Nt/AS relationship? Renaming this to a Random Collection of Thoughts and Short Blog Posts would have gone a long way to increasing the rating, for now I am upset at the inconsistency of product-it is honestly a little ridiculous.

Despite my frustration some of the insights were interesting, really just one comes to mind clearly but it wasn't worth sitting through this book of random half stories.

[Molly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I just didnt get it

But perhaps that's because I'm 10 years in and just now finding out that my husband is aspie. Im glad tom and Linda know how to deal with its effects with ease but its the polar opposite of the state I'm in. Some stories were cute but often times left me wondering where is it going or how does this relate to an NT married to an aspie? Not relatable for me, well, except for where Tom grew up. We both grew up in the SGV.

[Goth Gone Grey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting glimpse into an Aspie/NT relationship

I'm forever intrigued by psychology and finding out how people work. This is an interesting glimpse into a relationship between an Asperger's husband and neuro-typical wife, told in very short stories that feel like blog posts.

While the stories are informative, they were short and somewhat dry no matter which partner was the narrator.

[moxieBK · Rating 3 out of 5]

Our Socially Awkward Marriage: Stories from an Asperger’s Relationship — Tome Peters, Linda Peters (30 chapters) March 4-5, 2018

Please be aware that this is just one viewpoint.

Having a child with Asperger’s Syndrome, (diagnosed when he was around 8,) I enjoyed reading this ebook. It was quick read, with humor throughout and situations that are somewhat accurate for Aspies. For example: it’s true: My Aspie does not play mind games. He honestly does not know how to. And he is furiously loyal, even with people who might not have his best interest. But he has a steel mind and really has great, thoughtful answers, once he articulates what he’s thinking.

However, some of the situations do not apply to my son at all. The section I am referring to involves “apply neurotypical logic…” One should be hesitant to believe everything in this book is exactly how every Asperger’s Syndrome person reacts, thinks, or talks in any particular situation. Also, most Aspies I know have more than one behavioral/learning issue. I wouldn’t say my son has pure Asperger’s Syndrome; at his school, I didn’t know of any who personally had only Asperger's syndrome. But then, when my son was diagnosed he was in a minority, and teachers honestly didn’t know how to teach and reach him.

The chapters in the book are quick snippets of a day in the life of a highly functioning autistic person.

If one uses caution when reading this book, it will open up another POV of an Aspie’s life.

However, as I proceeded to read the book, I got the feeling that this book is useful whether you’re an Aspie or not. Maybe that’s from being around one all my life. But there are nuggets in here that apply to life in general, not specifically people with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Three stars.

[Caitlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would not read it again, but it wasn't difficult to read the entire book.

I think it would be most appreciated by someone who has autism or whose partnership is impacted by autism. I might pass it on to such a someone. I know if someone wrote about my condition, I would slurp it up no matter the content, so maybe the same applies here. It also could be useful to someone who has little prior knowledge about autism or exposure to individuals who have autism.

The stories are very short, and they don't have as much backstory or deep introspection as I'm accustomed. It felt like the writers are still early in their journey of exploring his diagnosis with relatively superficial revelations.

I do appreciate their contribution by writing this book. I think it's important. Moreover, I think the title was the appropriate representation of the content. It is indeed a nice account of a positive socially awkward marriage of a couple working together. It is not a self-help book, total autobiography, a book of traditional inspiration, or educational material. It is simply a nice account. As someone who does not have autism myself, I thought I would learn at least one thing, but I didn't.

[Patti · Rating 5 out of 5]

An unexpected treat!

I knew very little about Aspergers, I guess I still do! But while I learned a little about Aspergers, and I learned a whole lot about life! About surviving relationships by accepting each other for who you are. Why doesn’t matter. Just understanding and giving each other the space they need to be themselves.
I gleaned some very great thoughts on dealing with STUFF. Making that happen will be a real challenge, but the rationale behind doing it makes sense.
Old Sai’s horse.......I really like this story, the idea of accepting life as it comes. Could be good, could be bad! Either way, life is going to happen. And there is really no second guessing why things are what they are. We are Divinely put here on this Earth, and we each have our own purposes in life, and part of that is accepting others as they are. They too were Divinely placed.
Thank you for some wonderful life lessons, served with a side of love and humor.

[Jeffrey A. McMillan · Rating 3 out of 5]

If you could reteach me how to republish my Kindle E-book

I would be highly grateful to you, but, also, this: "I am always saddened whenever I meet or hear from someone like you---saddened by your closed mind, and saddened because you are missing out on the greatest hour any person can ever have: the joy of knowing God." I am speaking of God the Father, Jesus his only Son, and the Holy Spirit Holy Ghost. "The Heavens declare the loud of God: the skies proclaim the work of his hands" Psalms 19:1. "I suspect your problem is that you do not want God in your life. You want to run your own life without any interference from anyone or anything--including God. Are you honestly happy that way? No one can make you believe in God. I can only plead with you to open your mind and heart, and to realize that the path you are on will never satisfy you in a lasting way." Accept Jesus as your only personal Lord and savior of your life and repent of your sins to him.

[Donald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tom and Linda Peters and their Socially Awkward Marriage

I am also high-functioning Asperger's, though not as severely autistic as Tom. Therefore I understood everything in the book as completely normal. That's why I gave this book five stars. My favorite episodes were Pug-squeezing, because I had to wear a colostomy bag for a year, and Ghost Cat. As I age, floaters develop in my eyes and I see things just out of my field of vision. Like Tom, I have never seen a ghost mouse as long as I have lived in my house.

[Christina M. Reitz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short and sweet

This book contained lots of short essays on life, relationships and Asperger's syndrome. I enjoyed the openness and honesty of the authors. The Peter's came across as sweet earnest people. Honestly, the only reason I gave it four stars instead of five was because it felt incomplete. I wanted more. Maybe that wasn't fair. Sorry. Also, as a side note, they were advertising their for sale books and projects. But what do you expect from a free book, right?

[T. Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I will read this book over and over... Because it is so meaningful.

It is one of those books with unexpected gifts. I learned about Asperger's, but there are many other reasons to read the book. I think it even lowered my blood pressure introducing sweet and loving ways to think about all relationships and our place in the universe.Thank you for this thoughtful book. I appreciate the authors sharing about their lives. I did not want the book to end. To the Peters: Write another book please! 💜

[Sunny1 · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an excellent, informative book. The son of a close friend was diagnosed with Asperger's, and many times, I misunderstood his way of responding to "normal" interactions. But I also LOVE his blunt honesty!
This beautifully written and enlightening book gave me a much deeper insight into how HE perceives the world around him. "Act like a dog".. what an excellent analogy.
Thank you, Tom and Linda!

[margo jakobi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was encouraged

The stories are plainly stated and engaging. I could easily see aspects of myself from an outside perspective. It was fascinating to see the positives that they were expressing. And to hope that I could focus on that same possibilities in my life. While there were no "fixes" in the stories it seems to show how they focus in on their strengths instead of ripping apart each other apart for busy being different.

[Summer · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book made me think of things I'd never had to consider. I appreciate thoughtfulness and intention in love. That is true partnership - finding all of the ways to make the bond last and the relationship work. Finding all of the ways to continue on together in life happily and healthily - regardless, in spite of, and because. I enjoyed the shared perspectives of a couple working with the challenges and laughing at the joys of being differently-abled.

[Ruth Ann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this breezy compilation

This compilation of short articles illuminates the challenges of an aspie dealing with neurotypicals and vice versa. It jumps from topic to topic. That feels choppy and was the only reason I didn't give it 5 stars. I recommend it for anyone who has someone with Asperger's in their life.

[Eric Jewett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Delivers on its promise

This is not a scientific explanation of Asperger’s syndrome and how to “cure” it. It is a series of mostly light-hearted short chats from a couple who are living with it. They both mention coping mechanisms but also how there are times where the Aspie can be a superhero. An enjoyable evening’s read, no matter which side of the relationship you inhabit.

[Gilbert Fortier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!

From being an aspie myself, an living with a neurological girlfriend, I did relate completely. Wish I could find these sort of books sooner, my life would have been simplier, not knowing I had the syndrome, thinking for all these years I was weird or crazy. Loved the humour.

[Elizabeth-anne Syme · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really interesting, fun read

This is an easy to read, slice of life book. I found I could easily see some comparisons with my own situation as we navigate this new experience for us. I would have found it useful to have some information about why Tom was diagnosed at 47, did he seek out an assessment himself, did something happen to suggest he was on the spectrum, etc

[Rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

I went into this in hopes to find out more info on aspbergers since my boyfriend has it. I wanted to understand him more, but it just felt like a bunch of cutesy stories that didn’t really teach me much. However, knowing that a relationship between someone with and without is possible was a positive result of this book.

[emily taft · Rating 5 out of 5]

Love to see the way others work

I am ASD and my husband is not. It's interesting to see how another couple works and how people with ASD are so similar but different with how we are. My husband doesn't read but I'm going to get him to read this. It's a great read.

[Daniel Hardy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good quick read

Not so much about marriage relationships but definitely a good read for anyone wanting to see how aspire navigate the world and interpersonal communication, with great life advice for neurotypical people. Highly recommended

[Candida · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good insights

This book was interesting to read. I have someone in my life that has yet to be diagnosed that displays these symptoms. I could relate to lots of these stories. I recommend it to anyone who wants to have a better understanding of people who are Aspies.

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

Simple, quick-to read. Short chapters that were blog posts or magazine articles. Interesting insight on a relationship between an aspie and a NT. Recently concluding that I am somewhat on the aspie spectrum, it felt pretty relevant.

[andreea molocea · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good read

I found the book to be a nice read, it made me laugh and understand better situations in a neuro-diverse couple.
I recommend this book for all couples since I believe it is about love, understanding of the other and respect.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uplifting

I thought I would learn more about asperger's and wasn't let down. It would seem more of us should have this condition...We would learn to say what we mean and follow through. The book was so common sense with warmth and humor. Take time and enjoy!

[Cheryl Van Esch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Short & Sweet

I like that the book was clear on some aspects of living with an Aspie. I would have like to have more on dealing with the daily aspects and difficulties. And the loneliness.

[Charlotte Tressler · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an enlightening little book that approaches the pitfalls of having a relationship with someone on the spectrum with warmth and humor. The lessons of understanding and communication and patience could be successfully applied to every relationship.

[Veronica Dryden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny and insightful.

I enjoyed the honesty and intellect in this book. It was refreshing to have read a positive neurodiverse relationship story. It gives me hope for my own! Thank you!

[Shelby V · Rating 2 out of 5]

Each story/chapter felt like half a story told, and then moved onto the next chapter abruptly. I was expecting more insight into marriage with one partner who is Autistic. Unfortunately I finished the novel feeling like I didn’t learn much at all.

[Baylee Swank · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an easy ready that gave humorous perspective into a mixed neurotypical couple’s relationship experience. It wasn’t the greatest book I ever read, but it wasn’t meant to be. It was good for what it was.

[Krystal Barnes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book

The story line is inspiring, what i got for this book is that live conquers give hope to the romantic in me.