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The Worst-Case Scenario Dating & Sex Address Book
Based on the immensely popular Worst-Case Scenario Survival Dating & Sex , this indispensable address book includes tips on how to survive a wide variety of dating dangers-from determining if your date is an axe murderer to dealing with a stuck zipper. Includes pick-up lines, a body language primer, and space to inscribe vital stats on your past dates.
144 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 2001
10 people want to read
About the author
Joshua Piven
90 books24 followersJosh Piven is a television writer and producer, speechwriter, playwright, and the author or co-author of more than twenty non-fiction and humor books, including the worldwide best-selling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series.
He wrote the teleplay and serves as producer of Don The Beekeeper, a half-hour children’s TV show about honeybees and urban beekeeping. His most recent stage play, a holiday farce called No Reservations, had its world premiere in November-December, 2013, to great success and critical acclaim. More information. His next play is Muddled.
Josh likes to refer to himself in the third person.
Piven is perhaps best known for his famously tongue-in-cheek worst-case books, books that offer readers real-world (though often hilarious) advice on surviving worst-case situations that they might—but hopefully won’t—encounter: everything from “how to fend off a shark” and “how to wrestle an alligator” to “how to avoid the Freshman 15” and “how to determine if your date is an axe murderer.”
Piven is an honors graduate of the University of Pennsylvania—and living proof that English majors aren't necessarily failures.
He wrote the teleplay and serves as producer of Don The Beekeeper, a half-hour children’s TV show about honeybees and urban beekeeping. His most recent stage play, a holiday farce called No Reservations, had its world premiere in November-December, 2013, to great success and critical acclaim. More information. His next play is Muddled.
Josh likes to refer to himself in the third person.
Piven is perhaps best known for his famously tongue-in-cheek worst-case books, books that offer readers real-world (though often hilarious) advice on surviving worst-case situations that they might—but hopefully won’t—encounter: everything from “how to fend off a shark” and “how to wrestle an alligator” to “how to avoid the Freshman 15” and “how to determine if your date is an axe murderer.”
Piven is an honors graduate of the University of Pennsylvania—and living proof that English majors aren't necessarily failures.
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Displaying 1 of 1 review
October 27, 2014
I’ve never read anything quite like it. Honestly.
I started out laughing, particularly at ‘How to Treat a Pimple’, ‘How to Have Sex in a Small Space’ and the diagrams of ‘How to Remove a Back-Clasping Bra with One Hand’.
Then I read the The Experts and realised they were serious. I started to get angry. This kind of paranoia-inducing, suspicion-fanning farce is a genuine handbook?
‘How to Determine if Your Date is an Axe-Murderer’: watch out for any three of the following …
A Caucasian male in his 20s or 30s / Obsession with fire or matches / Cruelty to animals / History of bed-wetting / Sexually abused as a child / Middle-class background / Difficulty maintaining relationships
(How are you supposed to winkle out all those vital details over Scampi in a Basket and a Knickerbocker Glory? Most ex-boyfriends had at least 1, 6 and 7 in common, and each was obsessed with something. Fire, tractors, Howard Devoto …)
Subsequent chapters tipped me back into Irony-Land. ‘How to Determine if Your Date is Married / A Con-Man / Pick-Up Artist.’ Yet the laughs are still thin on the ground, until ‘How to Determine the Gender of Your Date’ had me rolling on my ass, laughing my floor off. Or something.
It IS a joke. So subtle I almost thought it was real.
Hang on … serious chapters on how to escape unwanted attention (including excellent line-drawing of how to smash a bathroom window with a bin to escape a restaurant – obviously the simplest option).
Now angry again. This kind of ‘help’ will turn people into freakish, suspicious weirdos. (How to Spot Fake Breasts/ a Toupee). If a woman over thirty has full breasts which sit high on her chest, you have reason to be suspicious.
Or impressed.
‘How to Bribe a Maitre d’ for an Emergency Reservation’, ‘How to Stop Your Date from Choking’, and the position (I swear this is true) to adopt in the bathroom to expel excess gas. There’s a sketch of a pained bloke doing the Salute to the Sun on a tiled toilet floor in a desperate attempt to guff.
I’m crying again.
I still don’t know if this is the most ridiculous or subtly ironic book I’ve ever read, but the earnest diagrams are funnier than The Simpsons and the advice is entertaining, for the majority. Actively dangerous for the mildly unhinged.
At the end, I take away certain nuggets of wisdom such as the right way to squeeze a zit, how to lift a drunk, and most importantly, if I’m the type to detest snoring, I should avoid the obese, short-necked, sniffers, drinkers, and the tired.
No wonder I can’t get a date.
I started out laughing, particularly at ‘How to Treat a Pimple’, ‘How to Have Sex in a Small Space’ and the diagrams of ‘How to Remove a Back-Clasping Bra with One Hand’.
Then I read the The Experts and realised they were serious. I started to get angry. This kind of paranoia-inducing, suspicion-fanning farce is a genuine handbook?
‘How to Determine if Your Date is an Axe-Murderer’: watch out for any three of the following …
A Caucasian male in his 20s or 30s / Obsession with fire or matches / Cruelty to animals / History of bed-wetting / Sexually abused as a child / Middle-class background / Difficulty maintaining relationships
(How are you supposed to winkle out all those vital details over Scampi in a Basket and a Knickerbocker Glory? Most ex-boyfriends had at least 1, 6 and 7 in common, and each was obsessed with something. Fire, tractors, Howard Devoto …)
Subsequent chapters tipped me back into Irony-Land. ‘How to Determine if Your Date is Married / A Con-Man / Pick-Up Artist.’ Yet the laughs are still thin on the ground, until ‘How to Determine the Gender of Your Date’ had me rolling on my ass, laughing my floor off. Or something.
It IS a joke. So subtle I almost thought it was real.
Hang on … serious chapters on how to escape unwanted attention (including excellent line-drawing of how to smash a bathroom window with a bin to escape a restaurant – obviously the simplest option).
Now angry again. This kind of ‘help’ will turn people into freakish, suspicious weirdos. (How to Spot Fake Breasts/ a Toupee). If a woman over thirty has full breasts which sit high on her chest, you have reason to be suspicious.
Or impressed.
‘How to Bribe a Maitre d’ for an Emergency Reservation’, ‘How to Stop Your Date from Choking’, and the position (I swear this is true) to adopt in the bathroom to expel excess gas. There’s a sketch of a pained bloke doing the Salute to the Sun on a tiled toilet floor in a desperate attempt to guff.
I’m crying again.
I still don’t know if this is the most ridiculous or subtly ironic book I’ve ever read, but the earnest diagrams are funnier than The Simpsons and the advice is entertaining, for the majority. Actively dangerous for the mildly unhinged.
At the end, I take away certain nuggets of wisdom such as the right way to squeeze a zit, how to lift a drunk, and most importantly, if I’m the type to detest snoring, I should avoid the obese, short-necked, sniffers, drinkers, and the tired.
No wonder I can’t get a date.
Displaying 1 of 1 review