Standard Deviation

by Katherine Heiny

The celebrated author of Single, Carefree, Mellow, returns with her debut novel--a rueful, funny examination of love, marriage, infidelity, and origami.
Graham Cavanaugh's second wife, Audra, is everything his first wife was not. Audra is charming and spontaneous and fun, but life with her can be exhausting, constantly interrupted by phone calls, burdened by houseguests, and populated by old men with backpacks full of origami paper. As Graham and Audra struggle to define their marriage and raise a child with Asperger's, they decide to establish a friendship with his first wife, Elspeth. But former spouses are hard to categorize--are they friends, enemies, old flames, or just people who know you really, really well? Graham starts to wonder: How can anyone love two such different women? Did he make the right choice? Is there a right choice? A novel as poignant as it is hilarious, Standard Deviation never deviates from superb."

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Humor, Audiobook, Book Club, Literary Fiction, Adult Fiction

336 pages, Hardcover

First published May 23, 2017

About the author

Katherine Heiny's fiction has been published in The New Yorker, Ploughshares, Narrative,Glimmer Train, and many other places. She lives in Washington, D.C., with her husband and children.

Reviews

[Larry H · Rating 5 out of 5]

It has been a long while since I literally laughed out loud while reading a book, but Katherine Heiny's debut novel, Standard Deviation , had me cracking up more than a few times. (Nothing quite like sitting at the chiropractor laughing to yourself and having everyone wonder if you need more than your back adjusted...)

Zany, contemplative, occasionally moving, and tremendously insightful, this is a book about love, family, raising children, temptation, and origami.

"It had begun to seem to Graham, in this, the twelfth year of his second marriage, that he and his wife lived in parallel universes. And worse, it seemed his universe was lonely and arid, and hers was densely populated with armies of friends and acquaintances and other people he did not know."

Graham's wife, Audra, is tremendously outgoing, the type of person who can tease a story from a stranger with whom she's waiting in line within a matter of minutes. This is the complete opposite of Graham, who would prefer to blend into his surroundings, and would rather not know the personal peccadilloes of everyone in their apartment building, their son's pediatrician, even his wife's yoga teacher.

"Audra could converse with a statue. (In fact, once in the ER she had had a long talk with a man who turned out to have had a stroke and could only communicate by blinking.)"

Audra is vastly different than Graham's first wife, Elspeth, a slightly standoffish lawyer. But Audra has decided that she wants to be friends with Elspeth, so through the sheer force of her personality, she wills Graham to make it happen. For a little while it works, which leads Graham to wonder what his life might have been like if he had stayed married to Elspeth, and wonder what it was that kept their relationship from working. (Other than the fact that he cheated on her with Audra.)

In addition to Audra's utter vivaciousness, the couple deal with the challenges of raising a son with Asperger's. When Matthew becomes interested in joining an exclusive origami club (seriously), the couple throws themselves into their son's passion as much as the other socially awkward members of the club will allow. And as Matthew navigates the difficulties of adolescent friendship, again, Audra, dragging Graham along for the ride as they try to convince a boy to be friends with Matthew again (even if a little bribery is involved).

Standard Deviation made me laugh quite a bit, but it also made me tear up a few times, and it made me think. Sometimes Audra is almost too wacky to be believed, but yet I know a few women who seem to befriend everyone they meet, even those not interested in speaking. The book is a fascinating, touching, humorous meditation about what love, marriage, and parenthood mean, and how those who don't remain in our lives still have the tendency to affect us.

I remember wanting to read Heiny's debut story collection, Single, Carefree, Mellow , but you know—too many books and not enough time. Given how good this was, how well Heiny balances humor and heart, the quiet moments of life along with the zany ones, I'll definitely need to give her stories a try as well.

Even if you don't have an Audra, an Elspeth, a Matthew, or a Graham in your life, this book is so worth picking up. I don't think I'll get these characters—or the things Heiny made them say or do—out of my mind anytime soon. And I don't think I mind that one bit.

See all of my reviews at http://itseithersadnessoreuphoria.blo....

[Paromjit · Rating 5 out of 5]

Katherine Heiny has written a smart and joyful debut novel about a New York family and their everyday life. It is written through the perspective of Graham, in his early sixties, married to his second wife, the eccentric Audra, a force of nature, whom he adores, and their 10 year old autistic son, Matthew, for whom they will do anything. The title, Standard Deviation, refers to the term used by a doctor in categorising just how far from the norm Matthew is. It might be inferred to apply to Audra, her lack of social filter in her conversations with others, and her extraordinary capacity to network, for the benefit of those in her life and strangers but more particularly for Matthew. Graham probably perceives himself as the normal one, although perhaps not, just how normal are any of us?

It begins with Graham reflecting on just how different the two women he married are, the ice cool, organised Elspeth and the voluble, messy, and warm Audra. This is a story of love, loss, everyday travails, and the moving struggles of bringing up Matthew to experience as normal a childhood as possible. Matthew's obsession and talent with Origami leads to the entry of Clayton, Manny, and other OCD characters into the family, trying the patience of Audra and Graham, but endured stoically. Graham puts up with random strangers and others queuing up to stay in the family home whilst he endeavours to serve up appetising and gourmet meals for all. The re-entry of Elspeth into their lives leads to Graham and Audra double dating and for Graham to ponder whether he is with the right woman as he compares them. Events conspire to place strains on the marriage. We observe the stresses of organising United Nations day, having Papa Stan to stay, Lorelei and Doug leaving and Matthew becoming more independent. The most moving elements outline the challenges and joy of raising Matthew through the years. As Graham puts it, he will tolerate spaghetti marinara because of love.

This is a wonderful story that comprises of all that is life, love, marriage, and family in New York. Heiny is a gifted comedic writer who provides keen observations and wry insights into the state of the family. The creation and development of the unforgettable Audra is magnificent, she is the star of the novel and will live on in my memories. I loved Matthew, he feels authentic as a character and the condition of autism seems realistic. Graham is extraordinary in his ordinariness, his ability to tolerate and most of all, his capacity to love. A warm, funny, and compelling read with an intimate narrative. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Thanks to HarperCollins 4th Estate for an ARC.

[MarilynW · Rating 4 out of 5]

Standard Deviation by Katherine Heiny (Author), Cassandra Campbell (Narrator )

Standard Deviation had me laughing and it felt so good. I was listening to the audio version of the book and I urge others to do so because the narrator does the other voices and all the emotions so very well. I would have hated to have missed out on hearing these voices. In fact, the main character, Graham, often describes the voices of the others, the way they might draw out words or their various inflections as they speak. Cassandra Campbell voiced what he described and that added extra laughs for me. 

Graham, in his late 50s is married to Audra, who is in her early 40s. Their 11 year old son Matthew is on Asperger's spectrum and their lives revolve around Matthew and helping him to hopefully be somewhat independent someday. Graham is aptly named in that you could say he's like a plain old graham cracker while his wife Audra might be compared to a multi flavored, multi layered cake that has an entire circus hop out of it to perform a striptease. The two of them are that different and Graham isn't sure his wife even notices the differences while he can't understand how they really can be living in the same apartment together. Graham loves Audra dearly, but he is so perplexed by her and the most ridiculous, off topic, inane things that come out of her mouth, almost constantly. She's never met a stranger that she's not willing to literally let move into their home. She has no filter and will blurt out the most personal details of another person's life, at any time and at any place, as if that should be the most normal topic of conversation. 

I could have gone on listening to Graham reflect and fret on life for much longer and, in a way, I think his inner thoughts are missing their own kind of filter. The other characters in the story are so funny, too, seen through the eyes of very critical, judgmental Graham. But really, I'm not sure anyone else would be suited to put up with Audra on a long term basis. She is like the energizer bunny on steroids with a dose of porn added to the mixture. 

As much as I adored the characters, by the end of the book, there are things about Graham's character that sadden me. This story is about a lot of things and infidelity plays a huge part of the narrative. I eventually saw Graham in a whole new light as he slowly reveals himself to us. He is still funny, still (mostly) responsible, he still loves Audra, but I think it serves him right that he is stuck with some of his anxieties and worries. As has been said, "it takes one, to know one". 

Published May 23rd 2017

[Row · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was like a hostage situation. I kept waiting and waiting for something to happen and at the beginning there was anticipation but then I just wanted the bloody thing to be over with.

[Elyse Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

THERE IS SO MUCH TO LAUGH AT....in this NOVEL! It’s totally priceless!
Line after line after line - there was something really funny - or witty - or both....
at times .... touching with love that was sincerely beautiful.
Other times....I’d be laughing while secretly saying ...”you know, this guy Graham ( narrator), is one smart wise cookie. A few women might wish their partners took a lesson or two from him.

Audra, is a kick ( an awesome created character)....you gotta love a woman who never leaves home without a stack of papers in her handbag for origami folding....not for herself - but for her son Matthew... origami whiz kid.
At a dinner engagement- during fine dining conversation— it was business as usual if several in the group started folding origami papers while carrying on dinner conversation.

Great dialogue through and through....
Audra had bought a knockoff Chloe handbag.
Graham speaks first:
“How much did you pay for that?” he asked.
She beamed. “Fifty dollars”.
“Thats’s amazing,” he said. “I think you’ve done really well.”
He didn’t actually think that. He actually thought there was a limit on how many handbags any one person needed and that limit was probably one. But Graham thought that the secret to understanding women (if in fact there was a secret that they could be understood at all) was to admire their purchases. Approve of the stuff they brought home after shopping and they thought you were wonderful”.
Is that true ladies?

Another time we observe Graham observing his wife Audra from afar..... simply loving her from within quietly to himself. I thought it was touching moment. Says a lot about a person.
“Oh, Audra was wrong when she complained that Graham was not a visual person, that he had no memory for specific hues, that he could not recognize the simplest pigments, that he grew impatient when she got out her color boards. ( Actually, she was right about the color boards). For here was Graham, drinking in the very sight of her, and wishing he were a painter or photographer so he could capture the way she looked forever. Here he was thinking that her eyes were like pools of still water when she look at that him and that lock wavy hair the wind blew across her face was like a
tendril of ivy on a marble statue”.

The variety of endless scenes -circumstances- situations- details - and dialogue are tremendous! The characters each have their own unique quirks. There’s a hyper origami coach named Clayton married to a wife who wears itty-bitty paper airplane earrings.

It’s very refreshing having Graham - almost 60 years old - as the narrator. His ex-wife and current wife are as different as night and day. Ex wife Elspeth, an attorney, was very controlled - dignified -nice looking - yet not easily approachable.
Audra was the type of woman who invented the word free-spirit. She’s a little like those jack-in-the-box- wind up toys: wind her up.....and she can’t stop talking....she doesn’t follow the path of tactful appropriate careful filtered speaking.
She considers the entire world her intimate friend - ( I can relate...haha)....and people tended to spill their guts out to her.

Through Graham’s eyes, he describes his day to day life - which takes place in New York - with his wife Audra, and their son Matthew who has Asperger’s. “Standard Deviation” is in reference to Matthew scores on tests he takes which diagnosed his Asperger’s .

Graham’s descriptions Audra’s best friend, Lorelei....and other people are often intriguing and entertaining.

We are invited into the thoughts of Graham. He begins to examine more closely both Audra and Elspeth — a little comparing and questioning of thyself -his relationship with them both. He likes qualities in both women.
It’s Audra who encourages re-connecting with Graham’s first Wife— bringing Elspeth into their social life. I wondered if she would ever be sorry for encouraging her husband having his ex-wife back in his/their lives. It’s fun to watch how it all gets played out...

THE ORIGAMI scenes between Matthew and Graham were some of the best.

There are a few sad moments - ridiculous moments....but I literally laughed on every single page. This book was impossible not to enjoy!

If a movie got made from this story — I wouldn’t be surprised. I think it could be great!

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Standard Deviation is a wise and very funny novel about family, infidelity, Aspergers and origami - it’s also about love and its many incarnations.
Central to this contemporary story, set in New York, is Audra. One of the biggest, most infuriating, cringe worthy and ultimately likeable characters I’ve come across recently. Wife of Graham and mother to Matthew, the book hinges on the strength of her personality.
Attractive, vivacious and much younger than Graham (who will soon be turning 60) Audra acts like a powerful magnet, drawing people to her, whether they want to be drawn or not. Her curiosity is insatiable, she has no filter, she talks those around her into submission, barely pausing for breath. She fills the apartment with people she feels need to be saved and will breezily ask probing questions about the sex life of someone she’s just met in a queue at the super market.
One such character, cornered by Audra, is described as having ‘ …... the look of someone unsuccessfully searching for the off button’
Graham, her long suffering, but not entirely blameless husband, spends much of his life looking on helplessly.
Audra is such a specific, singular character that I can’t help wondering which of the authors friends she was based on ......... and if they are still friends :)
Beyond the very funny set pieces, there is a shrewd observational humour that causes many knowing grins of recognition.
For me, the humour was a standout feature but it didn’t get in the way of the novel being, ultimately, a perceptive and quietly moving story about relationships and the nature of family.
I’m looking forward to reading Katherine Heiny’s Early Riser which many of my friends seem to be reading at the moment.

[Debbie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5, now rounded down (please don't frown) only because I can't remember all the laughs! See update below.

I'm laughing just thinking about this book. The dry humor is priceless! It's full of wry observations of everyday life by a guy named Graham. Passive and entirely boring, Graham is married to the perky motor-mouth Audra, whom he adores. They have a son, Matthew, who has Asperger’s and is obsessed with origami.

Saying that Audra is a motor-mouth is an understatement. She is a compulsive talker, and yes, a gossip, who specializes in drawing life stories out of strangers and then offering them advice, dinner, or even temporary shelter. She lives for secrets and juice. In fact, this is her whole raison d’etre. If people resist, she persists until she gets them to spill. She even befriends and integrates Graham’s ex-wife into their lives. She seems to have no filters, and she doesn’t get called on it. Her honesty mostly just stuns a person into silence, and this makes for many humorous moments for the reader. Every word that Graham (or anyone, for that matter) utters sends her down memory lane and gets her all stream-of-conscious-y. Good luck trying to verbalize a thought—it’s comment interruptus. Despite her obnoxious tendencies, she does have a good heart and she worries about people’s feelings, always complimenting people so they feel good about themselves. The author has really created an interesting, vivid character here.

Audra is a cross between the old lady you're stuck next to on an interminably long train ride, who is bending your ear with excruciatingly boring details (where you’re desperate to find another seat—ANY seat); and a hyper, on-the-ball office co-worker who fascinates you with her ability to pull stories out of everyone and to regurgitate every detail of her conversations (and who supplies you with endless entertainment). Unfortunately, I was pretty much the person trapped on the train (not the appreciative co-worker), but my seatmate’s material was usually a lot better, and funnier, so that kept me listening. Plus it’s Graham’s reticent personality juxtaposed against Audra’s huge and loud personality, that creates all the comic moments. It’s fun to watch their dynamic. Graham goes along for the ride, the whole time offering witty commentary for the reader.

Audra, in her flitting about and her mega-attention to everyone else, seems oblivious to Graham and their relationship. Graham more or less acknowledges this, saying in the very first paragraph of the book that they live in parallel universes. Sometimes I felt sorry for Graham, but he isn’t perfect by a long shot.

The book is rich with metaphors, most of which are of the crack-up variety. There are descriptions of food, clothes, and other details, which usually make me yawn and twitch with annoyance, but here they sort of act as comedy props. The book just has that absurdist touch I love.

Here are a few of the fun metaphors:

“Graham’s mind stepped around that thought the same way his body stepped around a puddle of vomit on the sidewalk.”

“Oh, life was thick with irony now. Sort of like baklava, layer after layer pressed down on each other, with grit in between the layers and honey glossed over everything to make it sweet.”

“Audra swayed in an alarmingly loose-jointed way, like one of those spring-loaded string animals that collapse when you push the button in the base.”

“Graham and Audra stood there, as superfluous as the leftover screws that roll around on the floor after you assemble a bookcase.”

The book is light on plot. This bugged me for a while in the middle, when it seemed like nothing of much interest was happening, and I momentarily craved a little action. But I got caught up in Graham’s life and the whole funny feel to the story.

Even though this is a humorous story about the ins and outs of everyday life, there are lots of truths that seep through, and the book takes on a more serious tone at times. Infidelity, temptation, jealousy, and trust issues sometimes make Graham pull back from Audra. But Graham and Audra are truly united in their parent worry and their endless attempts to make their weird kid happy. There are a lot of funny origami-club people and scenes. The observations of the little things in life, with an absurdist twist, made me stop and smile pretty much nonstop.

The blurb compares the author to, among others, Nick Hornby and Nora Ephron. I love both of those funny writers and I can see similarities. Tropper pops to mind, too. I hope you get the chance to read this clever, funny, and heartwarming debut.

Note: With so many 5-star books this year, I've happily been able to shove my heavy and unwieldy Complaint Board into the storage shed. Dust and spiders, have at it. I’m sure not in any hurry to drag it back out. (I’m trying to tell the pessimist within to just shut up . . . . )

UPDATE, August 2017

Don't worry! The Complaint Board remains in the shed, but . . .

Do you ever get rating remorse? I do for sure, and that's what happened here. The litmus test is stringent for 5-star ratings. I'm pretty stingy with them (even though this year I seem to be handing them out like Halloween candy to trick-or-treaters.) If I can't remember the story after a few weeks, or if I don't feel all smiley when thinking about it, it's liable to lead to a condition called Minor Round-Down. This book remains a perfect 4.5. It made me happy when reading it, but it just isn't 5-star material to me.

[Regina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ll admit, the standard was pretty high when I picked up Katherine Heiny’s debut novel after recently reading and ADORING her latest, Early Morning Riser. So did Standard Deviation live up to it? Yes and no.

Here we follow a slice-of-life, low-stakes plot about a real assbite of a husband who’s suffering a bit of malaise and evaluating if his quirky younger second wife is better for him than his first one. He cheated on Wife 1 with Wife 2, and now he’s contemplating a throwback affair with Wife 1. Charming.

He and Wife 2 also have a son with Asperger’s, whose standard deviation from the norm is the source of the title, and whose obsession with origami is the source of the cover art.

While I didn’t necessarily gel with these characters, I still loved Heiny’s comfortable and casually humorous writing style. She crafts a certain kind of dramedy that fills a gap between chick lit and serious literary fiction. It’s a gap I need to fall into every once in awhile, and here’s hoping more readers discover Heiny’s books and join me.

Blog: https://www.confettibookshelf.com/
IG: @confettibookshelf

[Diane S ☔ · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Love, marriage, infidelity and origami. Well the origami sound like an interesting twist but the others sound like many novels out there, common enough that I would have given this a pass if not for the reviews of a few of my friends on this site. So I started reading this, thinking a truly amusing book doesn't come by that often, so often I end up finding the humor is just corny. This book though is truly amusing, laugh out loud funny in parts and very easy to identify with.

The second paragraph, " Here they are grocery shopping in Fairway on a Saturday morning, a normal married thing to do together---although, Graham could not help noticing, they were not doing it together. His wife, Audra, spent almost the whole time talking to people she knew---it was like accompanying a visiting dignitary of some sort, or maybe a presidential hopeful---while he did the normal shopping."

Only the second paragraph and I was in love with this book. You see, my husband is Audra, truly. So then does this make me Graham? Well not exactly, though we do share some thoughts, actually quite a few, such as this one,
" No one had cancelled Thanksgiving.
Graham found that remarkable. Although maybe that was the most stressful
thing about holidays: they couldn't be cancelled. The holidays marched in unwanted and forced themselves upon you like Vikings invading a village, or a wet dog who shakes himself next to you."

Add this to a son,who is on the higher end of the Asperger's scale, who falls in love with oregami, but changes in surprising ways, the oregami club itself and an ex wife his present wife wants to double date with and you have a surprising, modern day comedy of errors. It's not all surface fluff though, there are some valid insights into marriage and parenting and what we all hope to get from them, plus all we have to put into them. The adjustments we make daily and the changes we see as a result.

A wonderful summer read, actually a wonderful read for anytime.

[JanB · Rating 5 out of 5]

5+ stars! I love, love, love this book! It’s laugh-out-loud funny, but also heartwarming and quirky. I'm going to have a difficult time explaining just what makes this book so special. My words won't do it justice.

The story is told exclusively from the POV of Graham, an introverted 50-something man, married to his bubbly, outgoing, missing-a-filter wife, and their son. There’s no point in going into the plot, because there isn’t one. If there had been a plot I think it would have made the reading less pleasurable.

What makes this book so fun - and funny - are Graham’s thoughts. He has a dry wit that is absolutely hilarious. It’s a rare author that can pull off this level of humor while also being insightful, thought-provoking, and heartwarming. Graham is spot-on with his observations of life and people. His wife Audra is adorable, warm, sweet and ditzy. She would probably drive me crazy in real life but I loved reading about her. Their son, Matthew is on the Asperger's spectrum and the love and lengths they will go to for their son (Origami Club, anyone?) provides humor while also tugging at the heartstrings.

I adored all the characters and I was sad to turn the last page. I would happily read more about this family, and hope the author has a sequel in the works. If not, I will have to re-read this one, which would be a pleasure. It will be on my 2017 favorites list for sure, and probably on my all-time-favorites list.

My recommendation: drop everything and read this book now!

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really funny book about marriage, infidelity, exes, misfits, raising a child with social disabilities. I literally laughed out loud so many times! I think everyone would enjoy this book!

[Cheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

I’m not sure that I can do justice to this humorous social satire about love and family, marriage, sex and temptations, educating and nurturing children, and origami, which seems somehow appropriate to how all these various things fit together to shape Standard Deviation . I read this off and on in little snippets of time while doing the last week plus details of the wedding preparations, picking up family from the airport, running errands, spending as much time as possible together as a family, spending as much time as possible with the family that lives far away, especially the littlest ones, and trying to lock these memories up so tight that they never fade.

Many thanks to my goodreads friend Diane who suggested this book in my search for “only happy” books for at least the time leading up to the wedding! Diane’s review: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

This isn’t all laughs, by any means, there are some insights into life, marriage, who we love and why we love them, there are moving moments about love, raising children, and what it means to have a child with special needs, and a spouse who seems, at times, to be such a polar opposite: talking non-stop to anyone about anything, inviting strangers to move into their home, charming but just reading about life with her was draining.

“He seemed to have gotten the knack of conversing with Audra, the knack being that you had to pretend you were talking to someone in the time before society had formed and social boundaries had been invented.”

Graham’s been married twice, first to Elspeth, reserved, polished, an attorney, who chooses words carefully. He left Elspeth to marry Audra, full of life, completely unfiltered, happily chattering away at the universe, words exit her mouth as though someone must at all times be sharing a thought. His musings on his marriages, and on raising his autistic son Matthew, who becomes enamored with origami, joins an exclusive origami club, and the conventions that follow.

How did this become his life, he seems to ponder frequently, viewing himself as the solo “normal” one amongst them, but then we all view the world from our own perspective, coloured as it is over the years by life’s lessons.

This is a wonderfully quirky novel, with a cast of delightfully flawed and lovable characters, told from Graham’s somewhat satirically rendered viewpoints on life, love and parenting. Katherine Heiny has done a marvelous job of painting a wonderful portrait of the complexities of life.

”The things we do for love! (Walking in the rain and the snow? The person who wrote that song knew nothing about love. And clearly did not have children.”

Recommended!

[PattyMacDotComma · Rating 4 out of 5]

4★
“People came to Audra for advice— well, no, not advice, that was the wrong word. They came to her for secrets, for gossip, for connections— for intel, that was the term— about everything. Friends sought her expertise on their job interviews, on their children’s chances of getting into private schools, on marriage counselors, on hairdressers, on au pairs, on restaurants, on shops, on neighborhood watches, on gyms, on doctors, on internet providers. People asked her about local politics and she didn’t even know who the mayor of New York City was! (Well, she probably did know who the mayor was, but it wasn’t a certainty by any means.)”

Audra is Graham’s second wife, younger than his first and mother of ten-year-old Matthew, who has Asperger’s and is currently fascinated with origami.

The author tells the story from Graham’s point of view, but not in his voice. I think he has lived with Audra so long now that his thinking is often the stream-of-consciousness that her speech patterns are. She races breathlessly from one subject to another off on a random tangent to some other vaguely connected fact or opinion until she (usually) seems to arrive back at the starting point. I don’t recall her losing her train of thought the way I do when I veer off course the same way.

She’s the kind of person who, by the end of a taxi ride to the airport, would know the driver’s kids’ names, the schools they go to, and the state of their health. Not only that, she would have given her advice on the schools in their area and the local doctors, and the driver would feel warm and friendly towards her, not annoyed as you might have thought, and the driver and family are probably coming to dinner when Audra returns home.

I digress with a personal taxi story under the spoiler.
[Disclaimer: I chat with taxi drivers about all sorts of things, too, unless they’ve got their Bluetooth earpiece and handsfree phone going and are jabbering away a mile-a-minute to a friend (never the base, usually a mate or another driver) and ignoring me. Until the last few years, I also sat in the front seat (which we do - or did- in Australia, particularly men did, before security was a big deal - and later Covid - {2023 update}), unless it’s full of the driver's books and lunch, which is how they claim their territorial rights.

And once, I even wrote a statutory declaration for a court hearing for a driver who was accused of stopping in the wrong place to pick me up, (he did, because I was in the wrong place, limping with a walking stick after an operation, and he took pity on me), so I gave him my name and address and said contact me if you get into trouble over this, so he did, and I wrote a statutory declaration for his court chase - but like Audra, I digress. ]

Audra knew everything about almost everybody at the ends of her long, spidery web of contacts.

“But there was no doubt that Audra knew people, and she knew things about people, and often she knew things about people who knew other people who knew people who had brothers who worked in the State Department and it was very helpful when your passport got stolen.”

The book begins light-heartedly enough, with Graham providing the predictable, stable counterpoint to his vivacious, pretty wife who keeps adopting stray houseguests. For example:

“Last year the locksmith who came to fix the dead bolt ended up sleeping in the den for two nights because his wife had stopped speaking to him due to the fact that he insisted on cutting the dead skin off his feet with a very small pair of scissors instead of using a pumice stone. (‘Have you ever heard of anything so ludicrous?’ Audra asked. Yes, he had: letting the locksmith sleep over. Although the locksmith had repaired their toaster for free.)”

Surprisingly, Graham just sets another place at the table. He is the chief cook and bottle-washer, and a gourmet cook he is. He loves it. He tells us often what he’s making and occasionally reminisces about a particularly fine meal. Turns out that his first wife, Elspeth, a beautiful, icy, blonde Scandinavian-looking lawyer, was a gourmet cook as well, and they shared that passion (among other things).

Audra wants them all to be friends, first and second wives, which leads to some interesting dynamics and Graham’s somewhat rekindled interest in her and her uncluttered, sleek, ultra-modern apartment compared to his cluttered, child-centred family mess.

Michael is a nice kid. Graham is just really realising what life is going to be like for Michael as he gets older and doesn’t have parents to try to make friends for him, and it breaks his heart. When they discover there is an Origami Club, Michael is ecstatic, and of course the members are much older and eccentric, but Michael loves it. There’s much talk of the various creations and how many folds they take. [I assume they are the real deal, but I’m not obsessed enough with accuracy to look it up. Maybe the author has lived through this in her life. There are worse fixations.]

They mostly don’t go out without Michael, since he was an extremely difficult baby and child, and they still fear he may have outbursts if they aren’t there to keep him calm. So Graham is feeling a bit tied down. Both he and Audra have had plenty of other adventurous liaisons, and she frequently refers openly to things she did with some other guy. But it didn’t mean anything and she didn’t know him very well, so that’s okay, then.

He’s starting to get nostalgic about Elspeth and her clean, Scandinavian style. They were married for several years. How bad could it have been?

“. . . often when Graham himself neatened up, when he pushed in the dining room chairs, or centered a candlestick on a table, Elspeth would come along right behind him and readjust the chair or candlestick by an inch. It was as though she didn’t want objects in the apartment to get the wrong idea and start thinking Graham was the boss.”

That bad. It’s no wonder he enjoys a good drop at the end of the day before and while he’s concocting his exotic meals.

“The first drink was unbeatable: delicious, relaxing, restorative— practically medicinal. He had read that alcohol didn’t enter your bloodstream for twenty minutes after the first sip, but everyone knew that was nonsense; it started working as soon as you poured it into the glass.”

[I couldn’t agree more. I know, alcohol is a poisonous destroyer of internal organs with few, if any, redeeming physical features – unless you’re living in the Old West and having your tooth pulled or a limb amputated, in which case they ply you with whiskey, but I can’t imagine there’s enough in the world to make either of those things bearable! Plus, I am a fan of the excellent book,
"High Sobriety: my year without booze" by Aussie author Jill Stark, so I really do know better!]

I realise I’ve quoted a lot and believe me, it’s that kind of book. It’s like reading a continuing series of articles or maybe the script for a good sit-com. Almost too light, but with enough truths that you will probably recognise a few things about yourself that others may find quirky. I just hope they find you and me as appealing as Graham finds Audra.

Thanks to NetGalley and HarperCollins for the preview copy from which I’ve quoted (so much!). Quotes may have changed, but I’m sure the spirit hasn’t.

p.s. Link to my review of High Sobriety: my year without booze
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...

[Marialyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

After reading Katherine's Heiny's newest book Early Morning Riser, I knew I had to read this book of hers immediately. I loved the laugh out loudness of EMR, so knowing we need all the laughs we can find, I started this one.

Graham Cavanaugh is a funny man, at least in his head he is funny. He is one of the characters that could walk around with a world bubble above his head accessing his thoughts so everyone could see what's in there. Perhaps, though not everyone and not his second wife Audra. She's what one can call high maintenance with the things she says, (no filter on this lady), and the things she does, inviting random people to camp out in their apartment plus an assortment of other items. She is a free spirit and the polar opposite to Graham's' first wife, Elsbeth, a bit of a thus and so lady.

Adding to all of this his son, Matthew with Audra has Asperger's which gets them all involved in origami looking for both and outlet and friends for Matthew. Zaniness occurs as we see the lengths the family goes into making Matthew a member of this club. They worry about their son as all parents worry about their children but of course Matthew is special.

However, it is Audra who carries the day in this story as she can elicit a conversation, at times one sided from anyone. If you don't want something repeated be sure never to tell Audra. It's not that she's a gossip, but she just lacks self-control and the words and actions just bubble out from her. Of course, over the years Graham has grown use to her, but then Elsbeth reenters his life with a new mate and the couples, with Audra's urging, decide to double date which leads to a "friendship" that is awkward for three out of four of the participates. (guess who was not awkward at all?)

Graham starts to see the differences in the life he gave up with Elsbeth. Did he prefer one of quiet boredom, where life came in prepackaged editions? Did he prefer the wacky zany lives led by others that often was the stuff of nightmares? Did Graham relish his life with Audra even if it often went off the rails?

This was a fun story one that brought a fine share of smiles and laughs. If you are looking for a book that piles on the crazy, this might just be for you.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a strange book this is. Graham and his second wife, Audra, end up as friends to his first wife and her new significant other. First off, the mere idea of being friends with an ex confounds me. And here, the two wives are SO different. “How opposite they were! How could one man have fallen in love with both of them?” And to be honest, Audra would drive me insane. Constantly talking, often in long winded stories. She’s one of those sorts that knows everyone and seems to know all their intimate secrets. And she was obviously out of the room when the good Lord was handing out filters. If she thinks it, she says it. In fact, I couldn’t quite grasp why Graham did fall in love with her. She would exhaust me! He puts to lie the myth that men have a “type”. But he does prove that love makes you blind to the other person’s faults (or at least very accepting).

There's a lot of humor in this book, mostly wry. Although one scene at a dinner party, talking about whether God got involved in someone’s personal finances had me laughing out loud. And when Grandpa Stan and Brodie come to stay. I take it back, there were a lot of laugh out loud moments.

Heiny does a very good job of painting Matthew, Graham’s son with Asperger’s, in a very realistic mode. The title refers to how far from “normal” Matthew is. A lot of this book has to do with what normal is and who qualifies or where one is on the spectrum. At one point, Graham thinks of Father Hicks, “he seemed charmed by Audra’s interest in his life and not offended like a sensible person would be.”

What also comes through is the love, especially the love Audra and Graham have for Matthew and their willingness to do whatever it takes to make him happy and accepted. (Like Graham, I can’t imagine anything worse than an origami convention.)

This was a highly enjoyable book and I recommend it heartily.

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is social satire at its very best--awkward situations turned humorous, characters you grow to love and writing that is brilliant and sarcastic--this was a tremendously entertaining read and one I know I will read again.

We meet two of the characters, Audra and Graham, while grocery shopping and the scene Heiny creates tells us everything we need to know about these people, I was immediately hooked. Audra is one of the most outrageous characters I have read in years and I laughed every time she took center stage, all the more because we often see her through the prism of Graham’s sardonic point of view.

He seemed to have gotten the knack of conversing with Audra, the knack being that you had to pretend you were talking to someone in the time before society had formed and social boundaries had been invented.

But it is not just Graham and Audra that are flawlessly rendered, all of the characters are in turn both preposterous and relatable; a little bit tragic, but also delightful and charmingly amusing. There are moments of low-key humor, but I also found myself laughing out loud. Yet the story is also laced with warmth, compassion and keen insights into relationships: marriage, parenthood, friendship and even the nature of exes.

It occurred to Graham that here, finally, was the similarity between the two women he'd chosen to marry: they were totally unrufflable, one out of iciness, the other out of obliviousness.

There were so many passages I wanted to quote, but as I tried to read a few to my beloved I realized so much of the humor was contextual and this is where the author excelled. The scenes she creates are superbly wrought from an uncomfortable origami conference dinner to a disastrous Thanksgiving and even the shenanigans leading up to a PTA United Nations Day all provide a picture of domestic life that is both mocking and affecting.

Katherine Heiny has written a disarming and quirky novel with a colorful cast of characters that I will not soon forget and I recommend it to any reader who likes their humor on the satirical side. Thank you, Larry Hoffer and Paromjit for putting this on my radar, what a fun ride this was!

[Algernon · Rating 3 out of 5]

[5/10]

Elspeth had the deeply reflective air of someone who has just seen a particularly savage wildlife documentary, and Bentrup had taken on the seedy, shellacked look of a late night convenience store shopper.

I feel about the same way after finishing my first 'novel' by Katherine Heiny: a documentary about the life of the upper crust predators in the Manhattan jungle. I used the slight qualification marks in the definition of the novel because this is more like a stand-up comedy act that goes on for hours and hours instead of the fun and quick 15 minutes it should. I had a great time for the first couple of chapters as I got to know the modern atomic family of Graham : older, divorced and remarried business owner, Audra : hot and chatty younger housewife with zero sense of social conventions, and Matthew : son with special needs and a passion for origami.

Most of the humour comes from the contrast between the conventional Graham and the fiery Audra as they interact with neighbours, exes, friends, house guests, a lot of strangers on the streets, marital fidelity, school, shopping, dining out, etc. But the humor is nothing like the promised Nick Hornby style some reviewer led me to believe. It relies heavily on rudeness and cringe comedy, something I shouldn't be surprised about in this third millenium, yet also something I can only take in small doses, and at far spread intervals.

He could not have been more embarrassed if he'd appeared naked in front of the Origami Club.

Given that my criticism is mostly about personal preferences, your mileage may vary, and the actual family drama has a lot of tender and thought provoking moments (again as a good stand-up routine should). So you should give it a try and make up your own mind. For me, it was a slog and I can hardly remember reading a book and looking so often to see how many pages I have left before finishing.

Oh, life was thick with irony now. Sort of like baklava, layer after layer pressed down on each other, with grit in between the layers and honey glossed over everything to make it sweet.

I deleted almost three quarters of the quotes I bookmarked in the book, not because they were not funny, but because they make little sense taken out of context, and the author spends a lot of time getting to the punchline. Cherry picking this last would be a disservice to her work. In the end it's a dramedy – also something of a fad in Hollywood lately, with the lightheaded moments, like honey, trying to make the bitter pill of modern life easier to swallow.

Well, love. Of course he loved her. He didn't know if he could forgive her, or trust her, or go on living with her. But he still loved her. He couldn't help it.

[Zoeytron · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is nothing like being married to Audra.  Just ask her husband, Graham.  This is a second marriage for him.  Audra has never met a stranger, has the unsettling (to Graham) ability to strike up a conversation with anyone, and that conversation is apt to be lengthy and involved.  She is one of those people who works without a filter, talking and talking, going off on tangents.  She has a tendency to open their home to house guests.  It's easier just to go along with her.  This is what Graham has learned.  

Wry humor winds its way throughout, in tandem with truisms of life.  The familiarity of a long marriage, how a second marriage automatically provides fertile ground for making comparisons, how just living life forces you to cope.        

Applause!  Applause!  After reading Early Morning Riser recently, I chose not to make myself wait to read the author's debut novel.  It offers a panoply of colorful, unforgettable characters.  Loved every minute of it.

[Caro · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novel is hilarious and sharply insightful at the same time.

Graham has been married to his second wife, Audra, for over a decade. Audra is the exact opposite of his first wife Elspeth. She (Audra) is blunt, unapologetically honest and talks non-stop. On the other hand, Elspeth is reserved, thoughtful and prudent. 

One day, Elspeth reenters Graham's life and this simple act invites us to explore the meaning of marriage, relationships, adultery, friendship, family and other themes in a fictional setting.

The characters are interesting and a delight. The novel is set in New York and is told mainly from the point of view of Graham.

Overall I loved this novel and highly recommend it.

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know Goodreads gets a lot of flak from readers and authors alike, but this is a place where I met a person who became a real-life bestie and where I’ve connected with dozens of others who I truly consider buddies despite the fact that we most likely will never meet in real life. I have no recollection of how Jan B came to be my friend, but she has been a treasured addition ever since the day it happened. Not only do we share the same opinions on most of our reading selections, but she steers me towards books I would have never heard of otherwise sometimes too. That was the case here.

I really should have not enjoyed this book. Infidelity is a plot device that just never seems to work out well for me. This one featured not only a couple whose relationship began with the two of them cheating, but also a question of whether the second wife was engaging in new dalliances, along with the husband thinking the grass may have been greener in his previous life and considering a potential affair back with wife number one too.

And Audra, the second wife???? Oh my lord if I ever had to experience her in a not fictional setting my reaction would probably be this at best . . . .



But probably much more like this . . . . .



Yet somehow she will go down in the history books as one of my most favorite characters of all time. Oh my god her free association type of ramble speech was so delightful – despite the fact that she would clearly be an energy vampire to an introvert like me.

This was another story that didn’t have a super clear conflict/resolution type of approach but more of just being a fly on the wall of an upper-middle class couple trying to raise a special needs child while keeping their shit together. I ended up with ZERO highlights simply due to the fact that I was not willing to pause my reading even for one second in order to make any sort of notation. Also, the fact that nearly the entire thing had me in stitches so the end result would have ended up with me being sued for copyright infringement when I offered practically the entire book up as an example of why I loved it so much.

I’m already on the waiting list for this author’s new release and I will certainly be picking up Single, Carefree, Mellow as well. This one gets every star.

Highly recommended.

[Lorilin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Graham has been married to his second wife, Audra, for just over a decade. Though he still loves her, he's also a little overwhelmed (and maybe slightly annoyed) by her uber-outgoing personality. In fact, if he's being completely honest, he's bored with the life they've created together. His dissatisfaction has him thinking about his past and, specifically, his first wife, Elspeth. Elspeth is the exact opposite of Audra in practically every way, and now Graham is beginning to wonder if he tossed her aside too quickly. Through some gentle nudging on his part, Graham brings Elspeth back into his--and Audra's--life, and it makes for some interesting (and complicated) interactions.

 *   *   *   *   *

About 50 pages into this book, I considered not finishing it. When was something going to actually happen, for the love? In frustration, I turned to Goodreads to see what other people had thought of the book. I ended up reading a friend's review that helped put things into perspective. The reviewer mentioned that author Katherine Heiny said in an interview that Standard Deviation actually started out as a bunch of separate short stories. But once Heiny realized all the stories were all about the same characters, she turned it into a novel.

I wish I would have known that when I started reading this book because the story is very character-driven...and incredibly slow. Things don't happen; personalities develop. So if, like me, you don't particularly care for any of the characters in here, you're in for a long, bumpy ride. I mean, I get it. Graham's distant observations and super dry sense of humor are supposed to entertain me, and I'm supposed to lovingly roll my eyes at Audra's eccentricities. But I just couldn't get there. It was all a little too much--over the top and almost forced. I couldn't connect with Graham or Audra or Elspeth, so watching them develop was like watching paint dry.

I will say that I did enjoy seeing Graham's relationship with his autistic son deepen and transform throughout the story. That was maybe the one saving grace of the entire book.

Still, though, Standard Deviation just wasn't for me. I did finally finish it, but it was a slog.

[Evelyn Sander · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book is about boring people living boring lives. Pretty much all of the characters are vaguely unhappy but not in an interesting way and none of the characters are likeable. Some problems are unavoidable (eg special needs child), but most problems the characters encounter are completely caused by their own stupidity and pigheadedness. And there is absolutely no interesting insight gained or character development. I still gave it two stars, since it was not actually offensive.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Standard Deviation is a quirky, funny, laugh-out-loud book that is so real, I could relate to every one of these characters! I have a loquacious Audra in my family who I adore, and who is also exhausting at times, but I wouldn’t trade her for the world. I know a Graham, an Elspeth, and have worked with children like Matthew. I could see a lot of myself in them. It is an eclectic group of people just trying to live life the best they can. It’s about marriage, affairs, death, autism, love and acceptance...oh, and origami! There’s no huge plot here, just wonderfully developed characters going through life’s ups and downs. I am still thinking about them. I loved the writing, the characters, the setting...everything about the book. It was a fresh change.

* I listened to the audiobook and think this is one of the books which was enhanced by the narrator. She performed these characters magnificently. Highly recommend! One of my favorites this year.

[Bianca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Standard Deviation is not what I expected. I expected it to be light and amusing, and it was occasionally those things, but mostly I found it very life like, therefore not that amusing.

A somewhat despondent, late fifties man, Graham, is married to Audra, his second wife. The two couldn't be more different - Graham is a placid and a somewhat beige kind of man. Even his name suits him (no offence to Grahams out there). He earns a good living as a consultant for medical acquisition in an investment firm. He's an excellent cook. He's a good father to his ten-year-old son who's got Aspergers and an obsession with Origami. And that's pretty much it. His wife, Audra, is his complete opposite: she's fifteen years younger (how many men left their first wife for a woman same age or older?), vivacious, a dynamo who never shuts up. Audra's constant talking and gossiping were extreme. But then, she knew everyone and anyone, for someone so easily distracted she sure remembered a gazillion names and personal stories. She also had a habit of inviting all these random people to live in their apartment or just come for dinner. She didn't have a mean bone in her.

Graham wonders how his life ended up being like that. Occasionally, he feels like a guest in his own apartment, and life.

This novel is short on plot. But it's very life like.
Heiny's somewhat microscopic look at Graham and Audra's marriage is like holding a mirror to many of us, who have jobs, kids, and especially kids with special needs.

There are many things to appreciate about this novel. It's very well written and accessible while being very realistic. It'll make you smile, and you're likely to shed a tear or two.

Standard Deviation is an accomplished debut novel, I'm looking forward to see what Heiny writes next.

I've received this novel via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review. Many thanks to HarperCollins for the opportunity to read and review this novel.

[L A i N E Y (will be back) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life is weird so it’s only natural that how some books find their ways to you is equally weird. Case in point: this book was mentioned, in passing, by one commenter over at The Guardian Reading group and for whatever reason I could not fathom, I got interested. And, as they say, the rest is history.

“Graham trusted this person to manage birth control; sometimes he shocked even himself”

The last time I was laughing this often was when I met Professor Don Tilman in The Rosie Project and that was 2 years ago. So as you see I really needed Standard Deviation in my life! I love Graham’s observations and humor, I love Audra’s sparkling personality and her ample generosity.

You know at first I was kinda worried about Audra as a character, I thought she’d be tiring to read about all the time. But as it turns out - I find her weirdly not annoying despite the fact that she talks a lot. Oh boy does she talks! But I never got a malicious vibe from her: yes, she knows stuff about people and she tells others about those stuff but she doesn’t relish in others’ misfortunes like your regular mean girl, gossipy, nosy type. I feel she’s a very sincere person and I’d even love to get to know her myself! Well, maybe not while United Nations Day’s going on but any other times? Heck yeah! The woman is just naturally hilarious!

The book is funny without being silly, touching without being mushy and gentle with such subtlety, you can’t help falling in love with this family and all the people that made up their lives.

[Lucy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a clever and poignant story about everyday life for Graham and Audra. It's a character-driven story with lots of quirky and likable characters that keep the story entertaining. Between Graham's wry observations and Audra's no-filter conversations, this story had me laughing throughout.

I found this to be quite an imaginative story. The awkward situations and cringe-worthy moments (courtesy of Audra) are endless for Graham and Audra. The characters are also very unique and well-developed, which add to the overall quirkiness of the narrative. While this book covers serious topics and situations, the end result is still a funny and uplifting story.

I tried the Kindle edition and audiobook. I highly recommend the audiobook because the narrator does a fantastic job with it. Listening to the dialogue between the characters was so much better than reading it!

[Amy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I profoundly disliked this book, and I am baffled by everyone who found it to be funny and insightful.

The characters lacked nuance. Each of them seemed like a caricature of one dominant personality trait carried out to an irritating extreme.

Several reviewers commented that they laughed out loud, and I did not find the book to be funny or even amusing.

The plotline (if there was one) failed to develop; I felt like I spent hundreds of pages looking in on weird dinners and several "almost" affairs that either never happened or were never confirmed to have happened.

Even the central event of the book seemed flat...the ending just fizzled out. More than anything I'm left feeling confused by everyone who loved this book. Clearly, I'm missing something.

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

“Standard Deviation” is a laugh out loud book that left my husband questioning my sanity. Yes, I’m laughing maniacally, all by myself (well me and my book) so I can understand my husband’s concern for my mental health. Need a lift? Read this treasure.

This is a story that is written from a man’s point of view. Graham Cavanaugh is a successful Venture Capitalist living in Manhattan with his wife Audra who is 15 years his junior. Graham is in his 50’s, methodical, reserved, and thoughtful. Audra is gregarious and wants to befriend every person in her path. We all know an Audra: strikes up a conversation with anyone; knows everyone’s personal story within 20 minutes; chats all the time; has little social filter when asking questions or observing; your worst nightmare as a seatmate on a plane or any transportation. Graham and Audra have a ten-year-old son Matthew who is diagnosed with Aspersers Syndrome at age four. Matthew is quiet, reserved and has difficulty making friends, and is an origami prodigy. Author Katherine Heiny has a son who went through an intense infatuation with origami so she used her first hand knowledge as fodder for this fine novel. And Heiny sees humor everywhere, so the origami segments are laugh-out-loud funny. It is here that the reader learns there are two types of people: folders and non-folders. There’s a scene in the novel where Graham takes his son to an origami club and he’s instantly snubbed as a non-folder.

Heiny is gifted in writing interesting and quirky, yet real, characters. I loved them all. And Graham, her protagonist, is seeing all this zany life through his restrained eye. Graham sighs a lot in the novel, which is more like “oh no, here we go”.

What I also adored is Graham’s musings of his son. He just wanted an ordinary son and is deeply alarmed and hurt when his son struggles. Audra, on the other hand, sees no struggles that can’t be overcome. She feels she can control the situation and make Matthew’s life ordinary. Graham goes from struggling with concern for his son to deep joy when his son has a success. And it’s not just his son that Graham muses. He ponders his marriage; what makes it work? How does it work with their two differing personalities and approaches? Even Graham’s secretary, Olivia, has a funny role in his life. Graham considers marriage, friendships, and parenting. There’s a little bit of infidelity ideas that I found disturbing, but the rest of the musings of Grahams were endearing. It’s great to read a story about a man’s perspectives. This is a charming tale and a great summer read. I’m a big fan of eccentric characters, or, more importantly everyday characters that we can view in a quirky light. Loved it!

[Rachel (not currently receiving notifications) Hall · Rating 4 out of 5]

On occasions genuinely poignant, at others, outrageously humorous, Standard Deviation is the insightful and well-observed debut novel from Katherine Heiny and is a heartfelt tour de force exploring marriage, infidelity, love, friendship, parenting and origami. Despite an absence of significant plot development throughout the novel and a somewhat circuitous narrative adding to the insouciant feel, Standard Deviation is never less than thoroughly engaging and dryly amusing. The reason for this is due to the beguiling cast of characters that Heiny brings to life and her perspicacious take on floundering, surviving and occasionally flourishing in love.

Medical venture capitalist, Graham Cavanaugh, is in the twelfth year of his second marriage to freelance graphic designer, Audra Daltry, fifteen year his junior at the age of forty-one. It is on an ordinary Saturday morning grocery shop that he begins to ponder his life with loquacious Audra (the human equivalent of being caught in a cyclone) and how they might just live in parallel universes. For a start, accompanying Audra shopping is an act as monumental as escorting a visiting dignitary to Graham’s mind and his effusive wife is a woman who overshares, exaggerates, embellishes and manages to conduct whole conversations entirely devoid of specifics with just about anyone she encounters. And from then on it is only a short step before she has invited them to dinner and to become houseguests! Audra is everything that well-ordered Graham is not and through an informal and engaging third-person narrative Graham turns confidante as he shares his innermost thoughts on long-term marriage, the women in his life (including Audra’s best friend, Lorelei) and the lengths he is willing to go to in order to make life easier for his Asperger’s son, Matthew. Tender, heartbreaking and often bittersweet, Standard Deviation is probably one of the most honest and incisive analyses of twenty-first century love and parenting.

It is socially awkward Matthew, the ten-year-old son of Audra and Graham who seems to occupy most of their concerns as the novel opens, from his picky eating to his prodigious talent for origami and his struggles to establish meaningful friendships. As Audra acts as the lubricant for Matthew during every social interaction and networks with a revolving cast of parents who Graham ends up cooking for, he winces at some of her efforts on Matthew’s behalf. Lacking in subtlety, tact and without any form of social filter, Audra’s interventions leave Matthew’s origami group nonplussed and it is Matthew who holds his own and impresses the group with his consummate skill, marking a new experience for both of his parents. A chance meeting in a deli between Graham and his first wife and lawyer, Elspeth Osbourne, who is the diametric opposite of Audra, and is a self-contained, icily composed and no-nonsense woman sets Graham on a trip down memory lane. Audra seems intent on establishing a civilised friendship with Graham’s ex-wife and when Elspeth acquires a dapper elderly gent as a boyfriend she insists on double dating. Is is soon after this that Graham finds himself struck by the involuntary and disloyal thought that perhaps Elspeth suited him better than Audra. Refreshed by how Elspeth has no need for any of the associated clutter and baggage of a life with Audra, Graham begins to spend evenings cooking elaborate meals and in shared comfortable silence with a woman with whom life seems infinitely simpler.

“It seemed that now they knew the worst about each other, Graham and Elspeth could relax for the first time in twenty-three years.”

For Graham, Elspeth is a port in a storm, and an escape option from his packed apartment and exhausting life with Audra. But is it too easy to conclude that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence and to yearn for something you no longer have in your life? And how can we even begin to quantify relationships with former spouses; are they friends, foes or simply people who know every embarrassing secret in our back catalogue?

“Maybe in some relationships there was so much history that fondness and guilt and curiosity and familiarity remained separate elements and could never be melted down into friendship.”

At the halfway point there is a clear opportunity for Heiny to inject some direction and despite having the ingredients to make for a fascinating second half she neglects spicing her story up for either marital partner. Undoubtedly this lack of impetus proved a little disappointing as Standard Deviation meandered for a spell, but despite few significant points of note occurring in the second half, Katherine Heiny does somehow end back on track with the closing scenes fitting perfectly to this modern day comedy of errors. Heiny retains a firm hold on the more serious thread running through Standard Deviation which relates to the associated difficulties and strains of raising a child on the autism spectrum. Whether painful or otherwise, there is little doubt of Graham’s love for Matthew whom he realises that he cannot shield from the hardships of growing up and making friends but can only ever be there to pick up the pieces. In the course of just over three hundred pages considered Graham does (shock horror) manage to find one similarity between his two wives:

“It occurred to Graham that here, finally, was the similarity between the two women he’d chosen to marry: they were both totally unrufflable, one out of iciness, the other out of obliviousness.”

Standard Deviation is a reading experience unlike any other that I can recall, however it does bear hallmarks of David Nicholls and early Tony Parsons with the touching reflection that it brings to modern family life and the lengths parents go to in order to make the world a more hospitable place for their offspring. Understated humour and painful home truths make Heiny’s debut novel a real joy to read with characters who will feel like the readers nearest and dearest by the closing pages!

[Paul Lockman · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 stars. The quality of debut novels continues to blow me away. This was great. I am adding it to my 2020 favourites. It’s a little ‘Seinfeld’ like in that nothing much happens but it's so funny and actually, when I think about it, quite a lot does happen. It’s just that if I tell you the book is told largely through the point of view of 50 something Graham and we follow him, his second and quite a bit younger wife Audra and their ten-year old son Matthew over the course of a few months, you may rightly say, well so what, what happens and why is it so good? Here are a couple of reasons, I feel sure there are more if I think hard about it but these will do for starters:

i) The humour, it’s often laugh-out loud funny. I have said in other reviews that to praise a book for its humour is risky. What makes me laugh may not even raise a smile with you. But if you have a fairly dry sense of humour, I reckon you will find this book very funny.

ii) It’s told from Graham’s perspective and I think Katherine Heiny pretty much nails the way a man would think about many issues and about the things that happen to him and the family. Well done.

iii) Matthew has Asperger’s but we never get weighed down by how challenging that may be for Graham and Audra as parents of a child with special needs. They love him dearly and wouldn’t change him for anything. Naturally the author milks Matthew’s condition for a few laughs but it’s all done in a light-hearted way and I’d be surprised if anyone with the condition or an organisation or peak body for people with a disability find the book objectionable.

iv) Some cute references to pop songs, though some of them were a bit dated, like this one ‘Eleanor Rigby’ by The Beatles. Audra is a very gregarious and outgoing person. Graham sometimes find this exhausting. She knows so many people, she talks to anyone and everyone about anything and everything and is always inviting people out to dinner, to come to their place for dinner (Graham is a good cook), to stay with them for a few nights and so on. It’s Thanksgiving and this year there are fourteen people at their house. Graham looks at the guest list, All the lonely people! Where do they all come from? Graham didn’t know where they came from, but he could have told the Beatles where all the lonely people go; they go to Graham and Audra’s house for Thanksgiving dinner.

v) Mild spoiler alert here. The ending. Really liked it as not much happens. Graham simply realises that he will continue to do what he has been doing because that’s what you do when you love someone. I often take a star or half a star off my rating for the way a book ends. Not this one.

I hope you give this book a chance, especially if you have that dry sense of humour.