Second Chance: A Mother's Quest for a Natural Birth after a Cesarean

by Thais Nye Derich

On the joyful day of her son’s birth, Thais Derich never questioned going to the hospital. A week later, she walked out physically, spiritually, and emotionally injured, and fully disabused of the idea that the medical field would ever put her best interests before protocol, money, and legal concerns. The next three years of her life were spent recovering from that day, and preparing herself to do things her way when she became pregnant again. And then she did get pregnant again―and that resolve was put to the test. A universal story about betrayal and trust and the roller coaster ride in between, Second Chance illuminates the many ways in which our healthcare system is broken when it comes to helping women give birth, and gives a voice to all the mothers who have walked away from their delivery experiences wondering what the hell just happened.

192 pages, Paperback

Published May 9, 2017

Reviews

[Literary Mama · Rating 5 out of 5]

I chose to give birth at a birth center with the help of a midwife, nurse, and a very supportive husband. Because a few of my friends have had home births and birth center experiences, I didn't find the idea to be strange. I did find that when I told people about my birth plan, it was often received with surprise and many questions. Thais Nye Derich's newly released book, Second Chance: A Mother's Quest for a Natural Birth after a Cesarean crushes the stigma of home birth by juxtaposing her first birth experience, a hospital birth that culminated in an unplanned caesarean, with her second birth experience, a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) home birth. With brutal honesty Derich takes her reader on a journey of more than just her birth experiences. She also shares about forgiveness by writing about her traumatic childhood and the strain that her first birth put on her marriage. By the end of the book, I found myself cheering her on in both the birth of her second son, Mikko, and in general as a mother and advocate of natural childbirth. Using both her hospital experience and research, Derich helps to dispel the stigma of both VBACs and home births while shedding light on what she sees as a broken health care/hospital birth system. She captures the frustration of explaining her circumstances in the quote, "It's useless to say anything to her. She is already married to the fear she has been fed. She's the norm, and I am the exception, so I nod politely and look back at the kids." Without coming off as superior for her choices, she instead teaches her reader to advocate for herself regardless of choice in birth style. I highly recommend this book to both expectant mothers and mothers in general.

[Christina · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had read this book before choosing to have children. Where labor and birth was once a community affair (mostly the community of women), we instead have a medical system that desires to limit a woman's labor time for reasons such as the doctor's schedule. And women, even one who has read and researched all needed materials prior to her first labor and birth experience, will accept outcomes in the depths of labor that she did not want.

How Derich weaves together her story of her two labors and births is inspiring. Thought-provoking. Sad. Determined. Beautiful. And a reminder that each birth is each woman's own and that she SHOULD be able to choose the path that is right for her. It is also a searing reminder that we need advocates to stand up against the pressure - even extremely subtle pressure - of the medical system. If this story can happen in most liberal and open-minded San Francisco, it can truly happen anywhere.

Birth can - and should be - a natural process. But birth - and the mother's right to choose her style of birth if the labor evidences no distress - must also be supported by the medical community. Hurrah to Derich for standing up to the medical system and taking a stand against the unwarranted surgeries countless women face in the heat of labor.

No one deserves a traumatic labor and birth experience. It can all be avoided.

[Abigail Lalonde · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a wonderful for book for anyone considering a VBAC, natural birth, or home birth. It teaches the reader to advocate for herself. It's a very honest look at the birth process and motherhood in general.

[Tanya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Empowering book about Thais's healing process from an unwanted Cesarean that led her to attempt an unconventional VBAC, vaginal birth after cesarean. Beautifully written and inspiring!

[Linda Hartmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing trek though the complexities experienced by a woman seeking to have her second child delivered vaginally after an unexpected and traumatic cesarean delivery with her first. This highly transparent account takes us through the pain, suffering, loss, healing, and extensive search for support and connection as she finds her way to the inner strength and decisiveness to do what she sees as best for herself and her child. Transformative; victim turned advocate, educator, and clearly driven with newfound strength, this is a must-read for every potential parent, healthcare providers who support pregnant women, and any other persons interested the complexities of giving birth in the labyrinth of today’s healthcare systems. A beautifully written memoir.

[Sarah Feuillette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thais has written such an important book about the empowerment felt and rite of passage achieved through natural birth. Few women have experienced both ends of the birth spectrum--c-section and homebirth--as has Thais. Her story touches so many of the important lessons women grapple with when preparing to and actually birthing their babies with intention: new and awakened self-discovery, the longing for a motherly guide, fierce intuition, guilt, the female desire to acquiesce to the norm, the need to fight against a broken system, and the realization that natural birth is a journey you must travel alone with your baby (and one that, really, no one can "save" you from.) For any woman looking to embrace (or reclaim) her power to birth, add Thais' book to your reading list.

Though I've not had a cesarean, this struggle to speak up for ourselves and to know what we want to accomplish (in birth and beyond)...that is universal. Her story is my story, her story is your story. And every empowered experience brings us closer together and advocates for women's rights and equality.

[Neil Chhabra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Derich's raw and unfiltered writing is riveting and revealing, not only of a medical system that places doctor convenience and economic efficiency over the needs of the patient, but also of how courage, resilience and community can work to resist these forces and ultimately contribute to changing the system. This is a must-read not only for women seeking an intentional, child and mother-centered birth but also for the men supporting these women, who might find it difficult to truly empathize with what it means to give birth. Good and honest writing creates empathy and this is exactly what Derich has produced.

[Mamta Madhavan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Second Chance: A Mother’s Quest for a Natural Birth after a Cesarean by Thais Nye Derich is the beautiful journey of the author whose first birth experience in hospital culminated in an unplanned cesarean. The author shares her difficulties of healing and recovery after a cesarean and how she opted for a vaginal birth after a cesarean (VBAC). Her book reaches out to all expectant mothers and empowers them during the birth of their children, enabling them to grow in their spirituality, confidence, and power through birth. Not many women experience a cesarean and VBAC, and this memoir is an honest look at the birth process and the choice in birth style.

The book is candid and the author shares intimate details about her pain, trauma, suffering, and healing, and finally deciding to opt for a VBAC for her second child. The author’s physical and emotional trauma sheds light on the healthcare system when it comes to giving birth and her frustration is palpable while reading the book. The memoir is an encouragement to all mothers who want to go for natural birth and it also proves that vaginal birth is possible after a cesarean, though many hospitals in the USA have banned vaginal birth after a cesarean. The author’s story is heartrending and poignant, and will make everyone look at the options of what should be done to make childbirth safer and healthier for women. It captures the process, excitement, vulnerability, tension, expectation, and finally the raw surrender of giving birth.

[Kim Osterholzer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I ordered Thais book and devoured it in a day, shedding tears as I was caught up into the moving story of both her first son’s birth, a cesarean that took her by surprise and left her reeling, and the story of her second son’s birth, the culmination of poignant soul searching coupled with a full immersion into the world of natural birthing.

[Kristin-Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A story full of truth and a woman finding herself and her power.

[Maureen · Rating 5 out of 5]

A personal story with deep cultural implications. So very well written!