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Ask a Pro: Deep Thoughts and Unreliable Advice from America’s Foremost Cycling Sage

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Phil Gaimon’s Ask a Pro answers every question you’ve always wanted to ask about pro cycling…sort of. Gaimon gathers the best of his popular Q&A column―and pokes fun at his younger self. Despite the howling protests from his peers, no one’s ever been more willing to spill the beans on what it’s really like inside the pro cycling peloton than the sarcastic scribe Phil Gaimon. Building on the outrageous success of his hilarious 2014 debut, Pro Cycling on $10 a From Fat Kid to Euro Pro , Gaimon gathers the absolute gems from his monthly Q&A feature column in VeloNews magazine into his new book, Ask a Deep Thoughts and Unreliable Advice from America’s Foremost Cycling Sage , adding a dose of fresh commentary and even more acerbic and sharp-eyed insights. With six years of material to work with―including his incredible rise into the pro ranks, the devastating loss of his contract for 2015, and his bold return to the Big League―Gaimon covers every possible topic from the team dinner table to the toilet with plenty of stops along the way. Gaimon offers wise-ass (and sometimes earnest) answers to fan questions · How much chamois cream should I use? · I’ve started shaving my legs. How can I be accepted by my friends? · What do you do to protect yourself when you know you’re about to crash? · How many bikes does my husband really need? · What’s the best victory celebration? Do you practice yours? · In women’s cycling, what is the proper definition of a pro? · What do you say to someone if they honk or almost hit you? · Do you name your bikes? · What do pros think when they see a recreational cyclist in a full pro kit or riding a pro-level bike? · Can you take your bike apart and put it back together? · How bad does the weather have to be to call off a training ride? · How do you know when it’s time to change a tire? · When you’re in a breakaway all day, do riders form a future friendship? · Riders keep complaining about "unsafe" weather at races. When did pro cyclists turn into such wussies? · How do the pros define a "crash"? Gaimon wields his outsider’s wit to cast a cock-eyed gaze at the peculiar manners, mores, and traditions that make the medieval sport of cycling so irresistible to watch. Ask a Pro includes new resources from Gaimon, too, including his Cookie Map of America, dubious advice on winning the race buffet, a cautionary guide for host housing, Phil’s pre-race warm-up routine, and a celebrity baker’s recipe for The Phil Cookie.

216 pages, Hardcover

Published April 2, 2017

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Phil Gaimon

8 books39 followers

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
Profile Image for Christopher Salas.
27 reviews
October 29, 2017
Funny stories and advice from the God, Phil Gaimon. I laughed, I cried*, I enjoyed.

*I didn’t cry.
Profile Image for Hannah Weinberger.
22 reviews4 followers
March 31, 2017
Phil's book is a collection of all the columns he wrote for VeloNews; as such, you get to see him progress both as a cyclist and as an emotionally and intellectually maturing human being, through his selection of questions and his responses to them over time.

Phil—whose wit will catch you off guard —touches on everything from race tactics to team culture to nutrition to gear to training. While his answers are in themselves enlightening, the most exciting prospect of a retrospective collection is the author's ability to annotate, and Phil's annotation allows him to admit just how much he was a) not telling the whole truth at times and b) trying to save face when readers asked personal questions.

I don't know what I expected, but Phil's perspective was at times tone deaf when it comes to women. VeloNews' readership is predominantly male, so he was likely just writing to his audience. He also was a little darker in his humor and slightly meaner than I expected—but when you're a rockstar writing to your readers, and you're young with reason to be self-assured, and you're in a high-stress/low-reward industry, telling people that they're asking the wrong questions, giving advice through tough love, or telling people off in extended sarcasm for asking something 'dumb,' and some sporadic fatshaming, can happen. The thing is, it's likely none of it was ill-intentioned. He also made cycling seem a little lonelier than I realized it could be.

But he had some really interesting insight into how racers approach training and racing, sacrifices, and the inner workings of the peloton politics. Phil's answers are funny, and often (purposefully) avoid the question, or use it as a vehicle for a punchline, or are answered in a way that could be helpful but not widely applicable, but he does have a few substantial pointers for would-be racers—mostly about how to be a part of a team, and sometimes about how to train.

And like, man, this column was just supposed to be, at its core, fun, which it is—Phil wasn't supposed to give away trade secrets, but engage with his fans—so I'm just a harsh/unfair critic.

And ultimately, those insights were fantastic enough—and he's legitimately, consistently, double-takingly funny enough, week after week—that I'm so glad I read this. It gives me a better appreciation for the mentality it takes to be a pro cyclist, and for one of the (ex) top American riders in the biz.
Profile Image for Algirdas Purkenas.
110 reviews20 followers
August 18, 2020
Funny, witty, insightful. Read it if you are a cyclist - will remind you not to take yourself and your hobby too seriously :)
Profile Image for Elizabeth Miller.
9 reviews16 followers
July 12, 2023
Very funny man. Great easy read even if you don't know much about cycling at all.
Profile Image for Christopher Lawson.
Author 10 books130 followers
March 28, 2017
Cycling Is a Puzzling Sport, Filled With Rigid Etiquette and Creepy Clothing

ASK A PRO is an assortment of Q&A covering lots of different cycling topics. Many of the answers are tongue-in-check, but some are serious. I found it fun to leaf through the questions, stopping on subjects of interest. A lot of the questions are from pro wannabes, who try to pry “power” secrets from the author.

I noticed that quite a few of the questions revolve around male bikers shaving their legs. This is obviously a hot topic. Here’s one example:

Q: I’m 17 and a new racer. I’ve started shaving my legs, and my girlfriend makes fun of me for it. How can I be accepted by my friends?

A: The truth behind leg shaving is that there’s really no good reason for it, other than being accepted by the racing community and looking cool.

Another one on same subject, from a fan trying to cope with questions from the fairer sex:

Q: How should I explain my shaved legs to girls? Do you shave yours year-round, or only during the racing season?

A: You don’t owe them any explanation. Instead, explain why they should thank you:

On a more serious note, when asked about how he handles the inevitable accident, the author explains his “Stages of crash reaction: Stage 1: Denial; Stage 2: Screaming profanities. Judging by my history, if I die in a bike race, my last words will almost certainly be four letters at high decibels.”

Sometimes, I couldn’t quite tell if the author was kidding or not. On the subject of obeying red lights: “I wouldn’t say that I run red lights, but I also treat them as four-way stops.”

Aside from the zany and light-hearted topics, I was happy to see the author address safety—namely wearing a helmet:

Q: Why do so many pro riders still feel the need to train with no helmet?

A: That’s a darn good question. A lot of guys are too cool for helmets, which makes them just cool enough for debilitating brain injuries.

So all in all, I found ASK A PRO to be a fun, quick read. There are some good tips for the aspiring racer, but mostly a lot of light-hearted banter. There are some useful appendices at the rear of the book:

Appendix A: HOW TO WIN THE RACE BUFFET
Appendix B: A GUIDE TO HOST HOUSING
Appendix C: RACE WARM-UP ROUTINE


Advance Review Copy courtesy of the publisher.
Profile Image for Michael.
587 reviews12 followers
June 10, 2017
Phil Gaimon is a retired pro road cyclist. In general I don't read about current pro road racing any more (for example, it has been years since I killed time looking at VeloNews online) but I read Gaimon's "Pro Cycling on $10 a Day" and liked that, so I thought I would give this a try.

This turns out to be a collection of Gaimon's Q&A columns published in VeloNews. This are arranged in the book over the years when he was riding and writing them, which means his experience and some of his views expressed evolved over time.

The sub-title is "Deep Thoughts and Unreliable Advice from America's Foremost Cycling Sage" - this gives you a sense of his occasionally ironic and mostly sarcastic and self-deprecating tone.

One doesn't really know the nature of the typical questions he received but many he chose to answer are from aspiring racers, which I suppose isn't that surprising, and occasionally the answers he gives might be useful to those folks. From a general reader's perspective the Q&A approach means the flow is mostly random in terms of topics covered, but the entertainment value makes up for that I guess.

Gaimon writes well in terms of producing something that is amusing and engaging and also (this I consider a good thing) a quick read. But if you aren't at least somewhat interested in modern bicycle road racing, there is no point in picking it up much less trying to read it.
Profile Image for Meg.
1,347 reviews16 followers
Read
August 3, 2017
pretty bro-dude sometimes but I laughed a lot. Slowly understanding the racers maybe (a little?) Still not my bag but you do you dude.

Edited to add: kinda fat shame-y (or amateur/ MAMIL shame-y not sure! [Middle Aged Men in Lycra]) and the few women tend to be soigneurs and his ex-gfs. So, reader beware.
Profile Image for Rach.
1,833 reviews102 followers
May 1, 2020
I am not really the prime audience for this book. I only ride bikes casually, so a lot of the technical stuff had no reference point for me. I do really enjoy sports stories, though, and learning about different sports and the lives of athletes, and one of Phil Gaimon’s other books (Draft Animals: Living the Pro Cycling Dream) was recommended on a podcast I listen to. That book had a waiting list at the library, so I downloaded this one up in the meantime, thinking it would give me a good idea of Phil’s writing style. I’m not sure that was the case, since this is a compilation of his Q&A magazine columns throughout the years, and as such lacks any sort of continuity. He does seem to be a funny guy, and the parts of his life he hinted at seemed really interesting, so I’m looking forward to reading his other book.

The main thing I was concerned about in this one was when he thanked his high school bullies for tormenting him for being fat, since it gave him the motivation to change his life “and he might be dead otherwise.” Don’t do that. Don’t equal fatness with death and sickness. Losing weight has allowed Phil to become an endurance athlete, but unless I learn in his other book about how sick in high school, assuming someone must be unhealthy because they are fat is fatphobic and reinforces stereotypes that hurt people in real, tangible ways. Those bullies should never have bullied him. They didn’t motivate him or do him a favor, and their behavior should never be condoned.
Profile Image for Heather.
598 reviews17 followers
April 17, 2018
I will admit that although I am a cyclist, most of this book did not appeal to me at all. However, I imagine I’m not the intended audience. The first group from his earlier years were especially unappealing to me, as the humor is definitely more on the immature side. And of course, I’ll make the typical argument that cycling world has a pretty strong male bias. At a superficial glance, this is ultimately for the cycling fanboys of the world.

I also had the distinct impression that many of his responses lean toward the elitism in cycling that I despise. I absolutely cannot stand the attitude that if you aren’t the best, you essentially don’t deserve to ride a bike.

I think I may have judged the overall feel unfairly though, and I will say that he certainly is honest in NOT glorifying his life as a cycling pro. I had the same impression I did when I read about Race Across America - yeah, that’s something I really would NOT want to do. And you can appreciate just how hard it must have been.

I did absolutely adore this quote, which is a completely perfect assessment of my experience of cycling groups:

“Forcing a bunch of random, awkward introverts to socialize and get along is part of what makes this sport so beautiful.”

And lastly, I will also admit that the time trial advice at the very end was unbelievably perfect timing for me, having participated in my first TT the day after finishing this.
Profile Image for Drew White.
14 reviews1 follower
January 30, 2019
If you are familiar with Gaimon's writing, from Draft Animals or Pro Cycling on $10 A Day, you will find that this book, while very different in format, is still all Phil Gaimon, from the witty jokes that brush up against awful dad jokes without ever quite crossing that line to the brutal honesty that all of us amateur cyclists need. Keep in mind that this is a collection of all of Phil's columns that he wrote for VeloNews. It's fascinating to consume all at once because you get to see, in rapid succession, the evolution of his career.
Profile Image for Timojhen.
96 reviews9 followers
May 27, 2018
Big fan of Phil��s so not surprising I enjoyed this. Glad I spread it out a bit as it’s both an easy read and (for me) best taken in smaller chunks.

Always a great sense of humor and it’s interesting to see his skills improve as a writer while also tracking his skills increasing as a racer.

Appreciate the Neil Rogers Easter Egg as well - some irony to the fact Phil would keep trying. (Fits what I think of as his personality perfectly.)
Profile Image for Zachary Kjellberg.
68 reviews2 followers
April 1, 2018
A very quick read. A variety of interesting responses, though it has some repeats tales from Pro on $10 a Day and I got a little tired of the snarky responses instead answering questions. Not as near as enjoyable as Pro on $10 a Day, but still happy I read it.

Time to move onto his latest book, Draft Animals: Living the Pro Cycling Dream.
Profile Image for Rachel Gorham.
286 reviews1 follower
November 8, 2023
Quick listen on the last day of a long road trip (which had been mostly accompanied by *Lonesome Dove*, and how do you follow that up other than by going in the complete opposite direction?) T and I both really like Phil Gaimon and this compilation of his advice columns was funny and informative. (I wish they'd talked Phil into recording the audiobook!)
5 reviews
May 26, 2017
Interesting read with a lot of jokes(Good or not is up to you). Probably not going to help with understanding pro racing tactics or training to be a better an amateur cyclists, but is definitely a reality check of how many sacrifices a pro are willing to take.
Profile Image for Bo Trapnell.
160 reviews
July 15, 2017
I didn't know it was a collection of his magazine columns but it was fun reading and original to me since I didn't know he had a column(sorry)...there are a lot of things I don't know despite being named Bo. Frowny face.
Profile Image for Jubin Chheda.
99 reviews2 followers
July 12, 2018
This is a hilarious read! The natural flair at humor means you have to pay attention to discern 'real' advice from the sarcasm, actually it's all sarcasm. A great read for anyone into road cycling. It's slick, short and sharp! Enjoy!
Profile Image for Robert.
2 reviews1 follower
August 7, 2020
WARNING: If you do not like to laugh, do not read this book. When I was reading this book in bed, I was constantly waking my wife up because I was laughing so much. As a cycle racer forty years ago, I feel you can relate to Phil if you are young or a senior like me.
Profile Image for Evan Bone.
26 reviews1 follower
August 29, 2023
I respect a comedic approach, but it must be balanced...especially in prose. would have been much cooler if the author would have at least tried to genuinely answer one question. but he doesn't. not worth the time.
Profile Image for Andy.
182 reviews1 follower
January 19, 2024
This is literally reader-submitted questions with Phil answering them. Some are amusing and some are actual bits of advice or comments on the pro cycling life. All in all, I enjoyed this short book.
Profile Image for Nick Penzenstadler.
239 reviews12 followers
May 13, 2017
Now that I'm a total bike nerd, this book indeed answered many questions. Heaping loads of sass and snark. Phil is entertaining.
Profile Image for Lois Keller.
Author 2 books15 followers
February 21, 2018
As a cyclist, hilarious. I have a lot of respect for Phil.

As a non cyclist, this book will probably make zero sense to you...
Profile Image for pianogal.
3,236 reviews52 followers
June 17, 2018
Phil is my favorite bike writer. Every other bike book I read, I’ll always wonder what Phil would think. A little repeated material but still a good lead.
36 reviews
August 27, 2018
Another good read on cycling from Phil Gaimon. This book is essentially a collection of his Velonews columns. I never read those but they are pithy and entertaining.
Profile Image for Jason Bourg.
66 reviews
May 29, 2019
Very witty and a good relaxed book to read between more serious ones. Much better if you ride or familiar w cycling lexicon.
16 reviews3 followers
May 10, 2020
Light and fun Q&A. Heard audio book. Good to have some insights in pro cyclists life.
Profile Image for Myles.
139 reviews1 follower
July 23, 2020
This is a hilarious, quick read.
Profile Image for Adam Meyer.
29 reviews6 followers
October 9, 2020
Great combination of intelligent advice, sass, and humor. Yum!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews

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