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Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships
God wants his children to have a lasting relationship and great sex-the results of a deep, meaningful love that is rooted in commitment. Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships, helps readers walk a path to true love that is more fulfilling than they ever imagined.
"There's a better way to find love, stay in love, and grow in intimacy for a lifetime," says Chip Ingram. It's God's way. Whether single or married, happy or searching for hope, readers will discover that by following God's prescription, they can create a love that lasts. A love that can be enjoyed.
"There's a better way to find love, stay in love, and grow in intimacy for a lifetime," says Chip Ingram. It's God's way. Whether single or married, happy or searching for hope, readers will discover that by following God's prescription, they can create a love that lasts. A love that can be enjoyed.
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2003
40 people are currently reading
655 people want to read
About the author
Chip Ingram
308 books227 followersChip Ingram is the teaching pastor and CEO of Living on the Edge, an international teaching and discipleship ministry. A pastor for over thirty years, Chip is the author of many books, including Culture Shock, The Real Heaven, The Real God, The Invisible War, and Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships. Chip and his wife, Theresa, have four grown children and twelve grandchildren and live in California.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 35 reviews
July 4, 2012
This book was recommended to me by a friend at church as being one of her 'library' books, and now I can see why. Ingram wages war on the 'Hollywood formula' for finding love, and instead suggests we look at God's formula and design. I liked that Ingram is quick to admit that everyone has gotten love and sex wrong at some point or another (He writes, "You're not vulnerable because you're a bad person; you're vulnerable because you're vulnerable."), so it's not a book just for teenagers about dating. It would be great for teenagers before and as they start dating, but I got just as much out of it being happily married. Instead of focusing on the usual "Love is patient, love is kind" passage from 1 Corinthians (though he does touch upon it at one point), Ingram starts with "walk in love", and ends with "walk in the light" in Ephesians 5.
Hollywood's formula for love is 'find the right person', but walking in love means to BECOME the right person by living sacrificially for others and looking in the mirror when problems start to occur in the relationship. He points out numerous secular, statistic, and scriptural reasons for sexual purity, the most convicting for me being that God doesn't give me boundaries to be a "cosmic killjoy"; rather, He designed me and knows what will make me the happiest long term, and so He wants only the very, very best for me. "Restrictions that God places around sex aren't there because something is wrong with sex. They are in place because something is wrong with us." I also loved Ingram's perspective on 'walking in the light': he said, "Talking in this setting is like cursing the darkness, when we would be much further ahead to light a candle...Jesus didn't tell us to outshout the world but to shed his light. In the darkness our voices get lost among other voices, but darkness cowers before light."
One of my favorite illustrations points out the truth and the difference between this perspective and the culture; while Hollywood tends to view love as a massive burst of passion into a "long steady decline from the peak of our heady initial romance", Ingram compared lasting love to "standing where the ocean meets the shore--the waves keep coming in. Not every wave of emotion is the same, and that turns out to be very interesting and exciting."
Hollywood's formula for love is 'find the right person', but walking in love means to BECOME the right person by living sacrificially for others and looking in the mirror when problems start to occur in the relationship. He points out numerous secular, statistic, and scriptural reasons for sexual purity, the most convicting for me being that God doesn't give me boundaries to be a "cosmic killjoy"; rather, He designed me and knows what will make me the happiest long term, and so He wants only the very, very best for me. "Restrictions that God places around sex aren't there because something is wrong with sex. They are in place because something is wrong with us." I also loved Ingram's perspective on 'walking in the light': he said, "Talking in this setting is like cursing the darkness, when we would be much further ahead to light a candle...Jesus didn't tell us to outshout the world but to shed his light. In the darkness our voices get lost among other voices, but darkness cowers before light."
One of my favorite illustrations points out the truth and the difference between this perspective and the culture; while Hollywood tends to view love as a massive burst of passion into a "long steady decline from the peak of our heady initial romance", Ingram compared lasting love to "standing where the ocean meets the shore--the waves keep coming in. Not every wave of emotion is the same, and that turns out to be very interesting and exciting."
March 11, 2010
Read this with my spouse. Great message, worth reading, probably more beneficial to teens/young adults who are just beginning relationships.
Read: It would have been best to begin thinking and discussing the premise of this book in middle school. The premise is that God's formula for relationships (as displayed throughout scripture) is the most beneficial to build healthy, strong, lasting, secure relationships vs. the "Hollywood formula" that building failing/unhealthy/unhappy relationships. I assume that many in the American culture might read this and say, "Crap! Why didn't anyone tell me about this when I was 15?" It's good stuff, I just wish it was aimed at a younger audience.
Read: It would have been best to begin thinking and discussing the premise of this book in middle school. The premise is that God's formula for relationships (as displayed throughout scripture) is the most beneficial to build healthy, strong, lasting, secure relationships vs. the "Hollywood formula" that building failing/unhealthy/unhappy relationships. I assume that many in the American culture might read this and say, "Crap! Why didn't anyone tell me about this when I was 15?" It's good stuff, I just wish it was aimed at a younger audience.
May 11, 2022
None of the Christian books I have read over the years about purity/sex were written like this one. He writes to meet you wherever you are in your life. I would 10/10 recommended this book to someone who doesn't go to church or isn't a Christian. It isn't preachy and takes the time to show both sides of what sex looks like depending on how one is living it. Both the side where you are following the Bible's way and what happens when you don't. He obviously wants you to follow the Bible's way but asks the reader to choose it. Not be forced into it.
November 10, 2023
وصفة الله للعلاقات الدائمة
فكونو متمثلين بالله كأولاد احباء واسلكوا في المحبة كما احبنا المسيح ايضاً واسلم نفسه لأجلنا قرباناً وذبيحة لله رائحة طيبة (اف ٥: ١-٢)
التمثل بالله في العلاقات يعني اننا يجب ان نكون عطوفين وحنونين وشفوقين وذوي بصيرة ومستعدين لأن نتسامح مع اخطاء الناس وغفورين باستمرار ذا يعني اننا نريد الخير لهم ، نكون لطفاء نحوهم حتي عندما لا تسدد احتياجاتنا او عندما نكون في حالة غضب ٤٩
انا وانت ببساطة ليس لدينا القوة علي الغفران دائماً وعلي ان نكون عطوفين باستمرار . لن يكون لدينا القدرة علي المحبة بهذه الطريقه ما لم نمتلئ جداً بمحبة الله للدرجة التي فيها ندرك ان اعمق احتياجتنا قد سددت بالفعل واننا لم نعد نتوقع كائناً بشرياً اخر لكي يكملنا ٥٠
السلوك في الحب يعني اعطاء الشخص الاخر ما يحتاجه اكثر عندما يكون اقل استحقاقاً له لأن تلك هي الكيفية التي عاملك الله بها بالضبط تلك ما هية الحب الاصيل - ما كانوا يحتاجونه لكن ليس بالضرورة ما كانوا يريدونه ٥٣
ان طريقة الله قاسية جداً علي المشاعر غير انها صحية جداً علي النفس فأنها تصنع العجائب في العلاقات التي يجد فيها كل الاطراف هويتهم المطلقة في المسيح ٥٤
عندما تسير في الاتجاه المعاكس ونجعل اشباعنا الشخصي هو هدف كل علاقة لا ينجح الامر ابداً وعندئذ نفترض بشكل خاطئ ان المشكلة تكمن في الآخر فنذهب للبحث عن شخص اخر ٥٥
حب الأيروس - حب الشغف الجنسي
يصف الايروس مظهراً لعلاقة بين رجل وامرأه يشبه كثيراً المغناطيسية . فالمغناطيسيات ليست مدققه في الاختيار بل ان قدرتها الاجتذابية تظل تعمل باستمرار فتنجذب فوراً الي جسم لديه الخواص الصحيحة . ان الرجال والنساء المخلوقين بواسطة الله لديهم كجزء من تصميمهم قدرة علي الانجذاب تحت سيطرتهم الكاملة . غير انها لا تسيطر عليهم تماماً ضد اراداتهم . هذا المظهر لحب الايروس مُعطي من الله وهو ضروري لإنجاح الزيجات ٦٨
حب الفيلو - حب الصداقة
حب الفيلو يتضمن ان نحيا كأصدقاء بإخلاص وتواصل وهو يختص بالجلوس ومراحعة الميزانية واتخاذ القرارات عندما لا تشعر بالرغبة في ذلك . انه التكلم بالصدق في المحبة عندما تكون غاضباً او مجروحاً . حب الفيلو يواجه القضايا الصعبة ويبقيها دائماً علي مائدة الحوار ساعياً بلطف علي الدوام الي الغفران واسترجاع العلاقة من القلب
اذا كان حب الايروس هو الشرارة التي تلهب عاطفتنا بشكل متكرر فأن ح الفيلو اذن هو الوقود الدائم الذي يغذي فرحنا ٧٢
حب الاغابي - حب الالتزام المضحي
وهو حب العطاء وهو يعمل من طرف واحد بمعني ان هذا الحب يستمر حتي لو لم يقدّر المحبوب الحب - انه العطاء وتسديد الاحتياجات الحقيقية لآخر ومساعدة ذلك الشخص علي ان يصبح شخصاً افضل واكثر نضجاً انه الحب الناكر للذات ٧٣
في حب الاغابي لا تختص العلاقة بك لا تتعلق بحياتك او بما يمكن ان تحصل عليه لكنها تتعلق بالكيفية التي يمكنك ان تخدم بها الاخر فعندما تحب بهذه الطريقة لن تغضب بسهولة ولن تنفجر ولن تعبس ولن تستسلم. وتترك الملعب - هذا النوع من الحب يظل وفياً وصامداً حتي في اسوأ الاوقات ٧٤
فالحب يتطور من العلاقة والاهتمام وسمات الشخصية الجوهرية ٨٦
يصبح الزواج مسعي دائماً للدكتوراه في معرفة وفهم شريك حياتك ٨٨
فالحب الاصيل علي عكس العرف السائد ليس اعمي انه يري بمنتهي الوضوح اما الافتتان علي الجانب الاخر فهو يعيش تماماً تقريباً في الظلام ٩٦
عندما تحب الاشخاص حقاً ولا تشتهيهم فحسب فأنك تفعل ما هو الافضل بالنسبة لهم فتقدم تضحيات وتكون ناكراً للذات وتكون معطاءاً وتهتم بشئونهم وبما يحصلون عليه بدلاً مما تريده انت . عندما تقوم بذلك فأنك بذلك تتبع مثال المسيح ١٤٦
انا اريد ان ازيد لذتك اريدك ان تؤخر الارضاء ليس لأني لا اريدك ان تحصل علي الافضل بل لأني اريدك ان تحصل علي الافضل جداً ١٦٨
الجنس يشبه في بعض الطرق اطقم الكريستال والصيني التي نحتفظ بها في بيوتنا من اجل المناسبات الخاصة فأننا نقدّر هذه الحاجات لأنها مقدسة بمعني انها مخصصه للاستعمال الخاص ١٨٣
القضية لا تتعلق بإيجاد الشخص المناسب بل تتعلق بأن نكون نحن الشخص المناسب ، نكون اشخاصاً اتقياء وليسوا متزمتين ١٩٠
فكونو متمثلين بالله كأولاد احباء واسلكوا في المحبة كما احبنا المسيح ايضاً واسلم نفسه لأجلنا قرباناً وذبيحة لله رائحة طيبة (اف ٥: ١-٢)
التمثل بالله في العلاقات يعني اننا يجب ان نكون عطوفين وحنونين وشفوقين وذوي بصيرة ومستعدين لأن نتسامح مع اخطاء الناس وغفورين باستمرار ذا يعني اننا نريد الخير لهم ، نكون لطفاء نحوهم حتي عندما لا تسدد احتياجاتنا او عندما نكون في حالة غضب ٤٩
انا وانت ببساطة ليس لدينا القوة علي الغفران دائماً وعلي ان نكون عطوفين باستمرار . لن يكون لدينا القدرة علي المحبة بهذه الطريقه ما لم نمتلئ جداً بمحبة الله للدرجة التي فيها ندرك ان اعمق احتياجتنا قد سددت بالفعل واننا لم نعد نتوقع كائناً بشرياً اخر لكي يكملنا ٥٠
السلوك في الحب يعني اعطاء الشخص الاخر ما يحتاجه اكثر عندما يكون اقل استحقاقاً له لأن تلك هي الكيفية التي عاملك الله بها بالضبط تلك ما هية الحب الاصيل - ما كانوا يحتاجونه لكن ليس بالضرورة ما كانوا يريدونه ٥٣
ان طريقة الله قاسية جداً علي المشاعر غير انها صحية جداً علي النفس فأنها تصنع العجائب في العلاقات التي يجد فيها كل الاطراف هويتهم المطلقة في المسيح ٥٤
عندما تسير في الاتجاه المعاكس ونجعل اشباعنا الشخصي هو هدف كل علاقة لا ينجح الامر ابداً وعندئذ نفترض بشكل خاطئ ان المشكلة تكمن في الآخر فنذهب للبحث عن شخص اخر ٥٥
حب الأيروس - حب الشغف الجنسي
يصف الايروس مظهراً لعلاقة بين رجل وامرأه يشبه كثيراً المغناطيسية . فالمغناطيسيات ليست مدققه في الاختيار بل ان قدرتها الاجتذابية تظل تعمل باستمرار فتنجذب فوراً الي جسم لديه الخواص الصحيحة . ان الرجال والنساء المخلوقين بواسطة الله لديهم كجزء من تصميمهم قدرة علي الانجذاب تحت سيطرتهم الكاملة . غير انها لا تسيطر عليهم تماماً ضد اراداتهم . هذا المظهر لحب الايروس مُعطي من الله وهو ضروري لإنجاح الزيجات ٦٨
حب الفيلو - حب الصداقة
حب الفيلو يتضمن ان نحيا كأصدقاء بإخلاص وتواصل وهو يختص بالجلوس ومراحعة الميزانية واتخاذ القرارات عندما لا تشعر بالرغبة في ذلك . انه التكلم بالصدق في المحبة عندما تكون غاضباً او مجروحاً . حب الفيلو يواجه القضايا الصعبة ويبقيها دائماً علي مائدة الحوار ساعياً بلطف علي الدوام الي الغفران واسترجاع العلاقة من القلب
اذا كان حب الايروس هو الشرارة التي تلهب عاطفتنا بشكل متكرر فأن ح الفيلو اذن هو الوقود الدائم الذي يغذي فرحنا ٧٢
حب الاغابي - حب الالتزام المضحي
وهو حب العطاء وهو يعمل من طرف واحد بمعني ان هذا الحب يستمر حتي لو لم يقدّر المحبوب الحب - انه العطاء وتسديد الاحتياجات الحقيقية لآخر ومساعدة ذلك الشخص علي ان يصبح شخصاً افضل واكثر نضجاً انه الحب الناكر للذات ٧٣
في حب الاغابي لا تختص العلاقة بك لا تتعلق بحياتك او بما يمكن ان تحصل عليه لكنها تتعلق بالكيفية التي يمكنك ان تخدم بها الاخر فعندما تحب بهذه الطريقة لن تغضب بسهولة ولن تنفجر ولن تعبس ولن تستسلم. وتترك الملعب - هذا النوع من الحب يظل وفياً وصامداً حتي في اسوأ الاوقات ٧٤
فالحب يتطور من العلاقة والاهتمام وسمات الشخصية الجوهرية ٨٦
يصبح الزواج مسعي دائماً للدكتوراه في معرفة وفهم شريك حياتك ٨٨
فالحب الاصيل علي عكس العرف السائد ليس اعمي انه يري بمنتهي الوضوح اما الافتتان علي الجانب الاخر فهو يعيش تماماً تقريباً في الظلام ٩٦
عندما تحب الاشخاص حقاً ولا تشتهيهم فحسب فأنك تفعل ما هو الافضل بالنسبة لهم فتقدم تضحيات وتكون ناكراً للذات وتكون معطاءاً وتهتم بشئونهم وبما يحصلون عليه بدلاً مما تريده انت . عندما تقوم بذلك فأنك بذلك تتبع مثال المسيح ١٤٦
انا اريد ان ازيد لذتك اريدك ان تؤخر الارضاء ليس لأني لا اريدك ان تحصل علي الافضل بل لأني اريدك ان تحصل علي الافضل جداً ١٦٨
الجنس يشبه في بعض الطرق اطقم الكريستال والصيني التي نحتفظ بها في بيوتنا من اجل المناسبات الخاصة فأننا نقدّر هذه الحاجات لأنها مقدسة بمعني انها مخصصه للاستعمال الخاص ١٨٣
القضية لا تتعلق بإيجاد الشخص المناسب بل تتعلق بأن نكون نحن الشخص المناسب ، نكون اشخاصاً اتقياء وليسوا متزمتين ١٩٠
April 5, 2015
Recenzie pe seama cărții în traducere rusă: Любовь, секс и супружеские отношения. Божий рецепт усовершенствования вашей личной жизни.
Primul capitol vorbește despre formula Hollywood a relațiilor de dragoste, aceasta constând în 4 pași:
1. A găsi persoana potrivită
2. A te îndrăgosti de ea
3. A pune toate speranțele pe seama acestei persoane
4. În cazul nereușitei, de repetat pașii 1, 2 și 3
Autorul ne vorbește despre vulenrabilitatea acestei formule, care a condus la sporirea numărului de despărțiri în SUA de la 4 milioane în 1970 la 18 milioane în 1996. Această formulă este bazată pe atracția fizică, dragostea la prima vedere fiind intens promovată în filemele de la Hollywood. În timp ce autorul consideră că iubirea ar trebui construită nu pe etapele fizic, emoțional, psihologic, social, apoi spiritual, ci exact invers de la spiritual spre fizic.
Al doilea capitol se referă la rețeta Domnului în ceea ce privește relațiile de dragoste, aceasta constând, de asemenea, în 4 pași:
1. A deveni persoana potrivită
2. A trăi în iubire
3. A punte toate speranțele pe seama Domnului și a încerca să-l urmăm în relațiile noastre
4. În cazul nereușitei, de repetat pașii 1, 2 și 3.
Autorul prezintă avantajele rețetei lui Dumnezeu, făcând trimitere la cazuri din experiența sa de conferențiar pe tema relațiilor. Exemplele sunt foarte bune și te face să înțelegi cât de mult suntem influențați de filme, cărți și muzica moderne în construirea relațiilor. Te face să-ți dorești să fi citit această carte mai înainte.
Unul dintre cele mai interesante părți ale cărții sunt capitolele ”Cum să aflăm dacă aceasta e iubire: 12 criterii” și ”Iubirea și sex: Cât de important să cunoaștem diferența”. Autorul susține viziunea Bibliei asupra relațiilor sexuale, care ar trebui să aibă loc între soț și soție. Chip Ingram explică că Dumnezeu nu consideră sexul ca ceva nedemn, ci ca ceva ce vine să întărească iubirea. Sunt aduse argumente biblice, cât și din viața de zi cu zi în baza studiilor:
- numărul de divorțuri este cu 50 % mai mare în rândul cuplurilor care au trăit în concubinaj față de cei care au trăit separat înainte de căsătorie;
- în cuplurile în care partenerii s-au abținut de la relații sexuale înainte de căsătorie, nivelul de fidelitate este cu mult mai mare (studiu al Universității din Carolina de Sud, SUA);
- când băiatul și fata încep să aibă relații sexuale, după aceasta aproape întotdeauna urmează despărțirea (studiu în baza intervievării a câteva mii de studenți).
Se poate de scris foarte multe despre această carte, însă consider că ar fi cel mai bine să o citiți. Astfel, veți înțelege mult mai bine mesajul. Recomand cu încredere în special tinerilor, care pot să evite multe greșeli și suferințe în căutarea de iubire, sex și relații de durată.
Primul capitol vorbește despre formula Hollywood a relațiilor de dragoste, aceasta constând în 4 pași:
1. A găsi persoana potrivită
2. A te îndrăgosti de ea
3. A pune toate speranțele pe seama acestei persoane
4. În cazul nereușitei, de repetat pașii 1, 2 și 3
Autorul ne vorbește despre vulenrabilitatea acestei formule, care a condus la sporirea numărului de despărțiri în SUA de la 4 milioane în 1970 la 18 milioane în 1996. Această formulă este bazată pe atracția fizică, dragostea la prima vedere fiind intens promovată în filemele de la Hollywood. În timp ce autorul consideră că iubirea ar trebui construită nu pe etapele fizic, emoțional, psihologic, social, apoi spiritual, ci exact invers de la spiritual spre fizic.
Al doilea capitol se referă la rețeta Domnului în ceea ce privește relațiile de dragoste, aceasta constând, de asemenea, în 4 pași:
1. A deveni persoana potrivită
2. A trăi în iubire
3. A punte toate speranțele pe seama Domnului și a încerca să-l urmăm în relațiile noastre
4. În cazul nereușitei, de repetat pașii 1, 2 și 3.
Autorul prezintă avantajele rețetei lui Dumnezeu, făcând trimitere la cazuri din experiența sa de conferențiar pe tema relațiilor. Exemplele sunt foarte bune și te face să înțelegi cât de mult suntem influențați de filme, cărți și muzica moderne în construirea relațiilor. Te face să-ți dorești să fi citit această carte mai înainte.
Unul dintre cele mai interesante părți ale cărții sunt capitolele ”Cum să aflăm dacă aceasta e iubire: 12 criterii” și ”Iubirea și sex: Cât de important să cunoaștem diferența”. Autorul susține viziunea Bibliei asupra relațiilor sexuale, care ar trebui să aibă loc între soț și soție. Chip Ingram explică că Dumnezeu nu consideră sexul ca ceva nedemn, ci ca ceva ce vine să întărească iubirea. Sunt aduse argumente biblice, cât și din viața de zi cu zi în baza studiilor:
- numărul de divorțuri este cu 50 % mai mare în rândul cuplurilor care au trăit în concubinaj față de cei care au trăit separat înainte de căsătorie;
- în cuplurile în care partenerii s-au abținut de la relații sexuale înainte de căsătorie, nivelul de fidelitate este cu mult mai mare (studiu al Universității din Carolina de Sud, SUA);
- când băiatul și fata încep să aibă relații sexuale, după aceasta aproape întotdeauna urmează despărțirea (studiu în baza intervievării a câteva mii de studenți).
Se poate de scris foarte multe despre această carte, însă consider că ar fi cel mai bine să o citiți. Astfel, veți înțelege mult mai bine mesajul. Recomand cu încredere în special tinerilor, care pot să evite multe greșeli și suferințe în căutarea de iubire, sex și relații de durată.
February 6, 2010
No other book as defined and given me the tools and confidence to do relationships the way God intended. Everyone says it's to hard and let's face it society has made it VERY hard. We are pounded day and night, minute by minute with stuff to make us stray from the ay God designed relationships and love and of course sex. Chip gives very practical advice and guidance on not how only but why it's so important to do it God's way and not the way we've all dont it in the past. This is a great read for anyone starting out with dating, or even a messed up 33 year old divorced guy who just wants to have authentic relationships.
December 19, 2018
I will admit that at first I was a little skeptical about reading what Chip Ingram had to saw about "Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships"... i figured it would be a book for prudes. But after a girl at my work repeatedly recommended it to me, I had to read it. This book has been the most eye-opening books i've ever read. Chip makes very valid points with very valid reasons, and he isn't just repeating scripture to you the entire time. Another great feature about this book is that it is for anyone--young, old, married, single, in a relationship--you name it, any one could learn something from what Chip has to say about love, sex, and lasting relationships. I have recommended it to 3 people already. MAKE TIME TO READ THIS--won't take long, and it is totally worth every second.
July 8, 2024
Ok book, but it should have been titled " Building Friendship, Intimacy, and Lasting Relationships". I feel like having "sex" in the title was more to sell/get readers.. and wasn't' really necessary. The author not only repeats the title a lot but the content as well, which is why I dropped it from a 4 to a 3 out of 5. Worth a read but by the end, glad I was finished.
May 12, 2018
Wonderful tips for relationships according to God's way for a fulfilling life leading to marriage. I learned so much!
March 22, 2023
This book was absolutely wonderful and made fantastic points that will forever change my views of dating and dating relationships. I also think that this book is pretty generic to most other Christian dating books. Another book that comes to mind is "Sacred Search" and that book makes really good points! I think between these two books, you're pretty well on your way to having a healthy Christian relationship/marriage.
May 31, 2013
Ingram starts out the book by explaining to his readers what Hollywood's plan for our relationships is, and how we subliminally grew up and accepted it. He then tells us what God's plan is for our relationships. He offers a number of sourced statistics that impress the importance of sexual purity, and stresses that throughout the book.
Most of the book centers around encouraging singles and those who are struggling, to live by God's plan. He describes how to work through the plan so that you can get off the endless circle of hurt lives, breakups, and the casual sex that Hollywood pushes.
What I gains most from this book, being in a healthy marriage and not struggling with many of the things he addresses, is how we can bring up our children to live by God's plan for our relationships. How we can protect them from, and teach them the consequences of Hollywood's plan. He also encourages us to join in a second sexual revolution for purity and modesty.
Most of the book centers around encouraging singles and those who are struggling, to live by God's plan. He describes how to work through the plan so that you can get off the endless circle of hurt lives, breakups, and the casual sex that Hollywood pushes.
What I gains most from this book, being in a healthy marriage and not struggling with many of the things he addresses, is how we can bring up our children to live by God's plan for our relationships. How we can protect them from, and teach them the consequences of Hollywood's plan. He also encourages us to join in a second sexual revolution for purity and modesty.
April 7, 2016
Anyone who is interested in any relationships - friendly or sexually - should read this book. Chip makes it very clear how the world is upside down compared to how God actually designed us to relate to each other. This book convinced my daughter-in-law to marry my son. It gave freedom to some of my single friends to not feel so pressured about their dating life and their "love life." It's very practical. Parents should read this with their children. Children should read this with their parents. The conversations would be awesome afterwards. He has a study set for this to really help make those conversations happen. I believe anyone 10 and older should read this book.
April 30, 2013
"It means accepting that everything is not going to work out great or just the way I want it to all the time. There are times when life is really hard and not filled with good feelings at all. You and I need to be willing to endure the pain and go through the tough times. You see, as long as we live with this deluded idea that sets the other person up to meet all our expectations, we are doomed to disappointment."
12 tests of infatuation vs. genuine love
Sex is sacred, serious, and a grave responsibility
Develop inward character, outward modesty, and upward devotion
12 tests of infatuation vs. genuine love
Sex is sacred, serious, and a grave responsibility
Develop inward character, outward modesty, and upward devotion
August 20, 2013
I marked this book as finished without actually finishing it, simply because I cannot take the author's crap anymore. He is clearly legalistic when it comes to his attitude about sex. And he doesn't seem to be able to back up his claims. His opinion that sex outside of marriage is archaic. How can the author possibly know what Paul meant? He condemns homosexuality and thinks a monogomous relationship is synomous with marriage. I gave it two stars because he does have valid points about how Hollywood has a messed up view of love.
September 24, 2012
If you are sick of seeing relationships fail and are wondering if there is a better then, then this is the book for you. Ingram lays out God's principles for legitimate relationships that can stand the test of time. This book is challenging and real. If you go into it with a open mind you will not be disappointed. If you are still convinced that you can find love the Hollywood way then you shouldn't even bother reading it
May 22, 2016
I like the fact that this book reprimands the fantasy Hollywood love story as fake and a formula that ruins relationships. I also think that this book is beneficial for young people just beginning relationships. As a 40 year old that has made a lot of mistakes written in this book, I wish I had read something like this before. I did find this book a bit repetitive towards the end, but overall it was a good read.
September 27, 2007
Why do some relationships go wrong? And what's the secret? Go ahead and read this book and then read it again, and again and again and again. That's how good this book is. It's a definite keeper. I have a lot to learn in the relationship area yet! With lots of prayers and lots of hope, I'll get there one day.
November 25, 2013
This is an excellent book detailing the common failing and fundamental issues with how we try to do relationships in America today. I'm happily married, and I think my wife and I are following the principles outlined here, but I recognize the Hollywood Prescription the author talks about and I recognize the damage it has done in my life before I got serious about my Christianity.
March 17, 2016
Nothing new, but confirmed what I believed. The twelve tests were something practical to apply and help me to evaluate my perspective on relationship. However, he makes these advice based on his culture and thus some of his ideas may not be applicable to Asian. Still, it was very useful book. Not resonating though.
March 29, 2009
I love him on the radio. This is the first book of his that I have read and am really enjoying it - true to form. Great point of view and insight. It reminds us of the differences between Hollywood's version of love, and reality. For single people, married, men or women.
December 19, 2012
I received this book as a gift and it was a beneficial read, even worthy of offering twice as a gift. I believe the author's observations about the "mainstream" approach to relationships have merit and I found his proposed biblical alternative to be sound and worthy of sincere consideration.
September 19, 2007
this is the most fantastic book ive seen on this topic. its so revealing. try it
June 17, 2008
Didnt get too far in this one. Plan to get back to it sometime.
Want to read
September 2, 2008Marriage
April 16, 2012
Great read for married couples, soon to be married couples, or singles who are dating. The video was also good. Great info to help you have a God-honoring relationship.
July 3, 2012
I recommend this to anyone who needs a guideline to know how to do relationships God's way.
October 28, 2013
good message more for reborn Christians, youth, college age.
January 1, 2013
My all time favorite dating book!
July 14, 2013
An excellent read!!! This book changed my outlook on relationships.
December 2, 2013
Excellent book on God's plan for love, sex and long lasting relationships. Would highly recommend this and the study dvd and questions we used for our small group.
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