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Becoming: Sex, Second Chances, and Figuring Out Who the Hell I am
Survive and thrive memoir from blogger and social media influencer Laura Jane Williams..'...a cult hit' - Grazia'LJ's honesty and voice are unique in a crowded market' - Stylist'If you've ever felt a little lost, I hope this book finds its way to you' - Daisy Buchanan'Everyone is writing about sex. Some are even doing it. Haven't we all been waiting for someone to look at what happens when you opt out, and to do it with not only humour... but also true empowerment? Call off the search. At last, here she is' - The GuylinerWhen the man Laura Jane Williams thought she'd wed dumped her and married her friend, she was devastated. Empty. Drinking too much, sleeping around, and moving from place-to-place in a refusal to put down roots, she tried to fill the void - the gaping hole - that heartbreak had left behind. She wanted control. To grab life by the balls. To live boldly. But, she rapidly learned it wasn't that simple.Resolving that life couldn't go on as it was - that the backlog of men and sadness that haunted her would not define her - Laura declared a year-long vow of celibacy, ultimately finding herself in a Riviera convent as she slowly put pieces of herself back together.An honest exploration of a young woman's soul and a road trip through Italy, America, Paris and... Derby, BECOMING is a book that makes you laugh and makes you cry, but most of all? It makes you realise that even when the going gets tough, no one is really f*cking up like they think they are.
336 pages, Paperback
First published June 2, 2016
30 people are currently reading
1005 people want to read
About the author
Laura Jane Williams
27 books690 followersLaura Jane Williams (she/her) is known as the queen of the meet-cute. She is the author of six rom-coms, as well as the forthcoming Lovestruck (June 2023). She is also the author of three works of non-fiction.
The rights to Laura's international bestseller Our Stop have been sold for television, and her books have been translated into languages all over the world. She loves romance, being a parent, and lifting very heavy weights.
Find out more about Laura on www.laurajaneauthor.com
The rights to Laura's international bestseller Our Stop have been sold for television, and her books have been translated into languages all over the world. She loves romance, being a parent, and lifting very heavy weights.
Find out more about Laura on www.laurajaneauthor.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews
September 12, 2017
'I’m proud of who I am but I’m well aware that Gwen is more palatable – she’s smoother round the edges. Less opinionated…By comparison I’m a blonde, loud, hurricane of a mess, constantly asking why and demanding who and talktalktalking. I take up so much more space.'
Everybody LOVED this book and honestly, I don't know what I'm missing, but I couldn't even finish it. To me there is such a difference between introspection and self-obsession, and this book absolutely crosses that line. So not only is it completely self-absorbed, the author also constantly mentions how hard she is on herself and how she doesn't love herself and on and on and on. Often in comparison to others, like the comment above. And yet NONE of it rings true to me. Somebody who really doesn't think they're unusually interesting probably wouldn't write an entire book about themselves and their sex life, for a start, and certainly not one full of all this faux-humility.
There's endless stuff that other people supposedly said about her:
‘I’ve literally never known anyone give themselves as a hard a time as you do.’
Firstly, who even says that to another person? And secondly, I just don't believe that anyone could meet Williams - a blogger who literally writes about her sex life for a living - and think 'wow, you're insecure.'
None of the 'insults' Williams throws at herself are even really insults per se, just hidden compliments:
'I so long to be the girl who understands who and what she is, what she stands for, is reliable and constant. But that is absolutely not me…I’m forever unfinished business. Isn’t that exhausting?'
Is it? Or are you actually self-congratulating yourself on how complex you are, how different? She sounds like one of those girls who goes on about how she never eats salads but always eats burgers, or only wears natural make up. It's just not real humility, it's not a real concern. I don't buy it.
Some of the stories here are genuinely funny but it's all so wrapped up in this weird pretense that it becomes incredibly difficult to read. You should sympathise with Williams - her boyfriend dumped her and married her best mate, and that's awful - but as the book goes on, you do find yourself thinking 'oh, come on, love, worse things happen at sea, you know.' It doesn't go anywhere, the revelations Williams has are obvious and don't seem to develop as the book goes on, and in the end I just thought I didn't want to read any more of her pretending all the good things about herself were bad things in an effort to get others to say 'Oh, no, I actually PREFER girls like you, you're so much more INTERESTING!'
It's a shame because I like the author's blog, but this was absolutely not for me.
Everybody LOVED this book and honestly, I don't know what I'm missing, but I couldn't even finish it. To me there is such a difference between introspection and self-obsession, and this book absolutely crosses that line. So not only is it completely self-absorbed, the author also constantly mentions how hard she is on herself and how she doesn't love herself and on and on and on. Often in comparison to others, like the comment above. And yet NONE of it rings true to me. Somebody who really doesn't think they're unusually interesting probably wouldn't write an entire book about themselves and their sex life, for a start, and certainly not one full of all this faux-humility.
There's endless stuff that other people supposedly said about her:
‘I’ve literally never known anyone give themselves as a hard a time as you do.’
Firstly, who even says that to another person? And secondly, I just don't believe that anyone could meet Williams - a blogger who literally writes about her sex life for a living - and think 'wow, you're insecure.'
None of the 'insults' Williams throws at herself are even really insults per se, just hidden compliments:
'I so long to be the girl who understands who and what she is, what she stands for, is reliable and constant. But that is absolutely not me…I’m forever unfinished business. Isn’t that exhausting?'
Is it? Or are you actually self-congratulating yourself on how complex you are, how different? She sounds like one of those girls who goes on about how she never eats salads but always eats burgers, or only wears natural make up. It's just not real humility, it's not a real concern. I don't buy it.
Some of the stories here are genuinely funny but it's all so wrapped up in this weird pretense that it becomes incredibly difficult to read. You should sympathise with Williams - her boyfriend dumped her and married her best mate, and that's awful - but as the book goes on, you do find yourself thinking 'oh, come on, love, worse things happen at sea, you know.' It doesn't go anywhere, the revelations Williams has are obvious and don't seem to develop as the book goes on, and in the end I just thought I didn't want to read any more of her pretending all the good things about herself were bad things in an effort to get others to say 'Oh, no, I actually PREFER girls like you, you're so much more INTERESTING!'
It's a shame because I like the author's blog, but this was absolutely not for me.
June 1, 2017
This memoir is a frank and honest account of the author's relationships during a tumultuous time. Exploring sex, celibacy and confidence, this is a read which will likely appeal to feminists, millennials and the younger end of Gen X. Funny and poignant, crushing and at times crude, I couldn't help but feel for Laura as she considered who she was and what she wanted from all aspects of her life.
A well-written look at the sex life of one single woman in modern society.
A well-written look at the sex life of one single woman in modern society.
May 10, 2023
This book is genuinely dire. Every conversation is conceited and fake, with the only purpose to convey how evolved the author is. I have never rolled my eyes so many times while reading a book. Essentially, the plot is just not interesting enough to have a memoir written from it.
August 1, 2016
I feel like this is the book a lot of young women have been waiting for - overcoming heartbreak and loss of identity by adventuring your way into a new existence? Yes please! I've lent my copy to several friends already, all of whom said they had various moments of self-identification while reading. It's hard not to when a lot of this book concerns being made to feel ashamed of who you are - your sexuality, your thirst for knowledge and success and experience, and your unassailable femaleness in a world that punishes such things in myriad little ways. From terrible sex with terrible men to passionate soul-bonding with dreamy virgins, Laura Jane has run the gamut of 20-something female romantic experiences and she writes it all so wittily and vulnerably that you feel much less alone for having gone through it yourself.
A well-travelled explorer, Laura Jane also takes us on a journey round the world, Derby to Detriot plus Italy, New York and Bali. Think 'Eat Pray Love' for broke millenials who have to fund their travels by working at summer camps for kids. The descriptions of her days as a tutor-trainer on the Italian Riviera are particularly evocative for their sense of summer-time freedom and the endless possibility of being young, daring and hungry for experience.
A well-travelled explorer, Laura Jane also takes us on a journey round the world, Derby to Detriot plus Italy, New York and Bali. Think 'Eat Pray Love' for broke millenials who have to fund their travels by working at summer camps for kids. The descriptions of her days as a tutor-trainer on the Italian Riviera are particularly evocative for their sense of summer-time freedom and the endless possibility of being young, daring and hungry for experience.
June 5, 2016
I've been an avid reader of Laura Jane William's blog 'Superlatively Rude' for around four years now, and it's one of the few that I still check up on regularly. When I heard that she'd signed a book deal I hit the 'pre-order' button as soon as I could and waited patiently for the release date to arrive.
After being dumped by her childhood sweetheart, who then goes on to marry her best friend, Laura stumbles through the next few years in a haze of sadness, booze and men, before embarking on a year of celibacy and living in an Italian monastery where she slowly starts to piece herself back together.
Becoming had me laughing, crying and aggressively nodding my head while saying "yup, I've felt that exact way so many times". There's nothing picture perfect about Laura's story, it's messy, honest, raw, and real. But that's what has made her such a wonderful writer, and why she has such a loyal following.
After being dumped by her childhood sweetheart, who then goes on to marry her best friend, Laura stumbles through the next few years in a haze of sadness, booze and men, before embarking on a year of celibacy and living in an Italian monastery where she slowly starts to piece herself back together.
Becoming had me laughing, crying and aggressively nodding my head while saying "yup, I've felt that exact way so many times". There's nothing picture perfect about Laura's story, it's messy, honest, raw, and real. But that's what has made her such a wonderful writer, and why she has such a loyal following.
June 20, 2017
Devoured this. A little too much gratuitous graphic sex in the beginning to set the scene, but the rest of it I loved - a fair bit of repetition from her blog (which I also love) but I really enjoyed filling in the gaps between stories I knew and the, aha, so that was him moment I had. An interesting and empowering journey through heartbreak.
September 22, 2020
Sometimes it felt like my personal story. What really happens to the broken people? Whether it's a hurtful breakup or not. Should we fly away, and try to soak up life? Should we stay and face our demons? Should we waste ourselves to meaningless addictions? I honestly don't have the answer. I've tried many, many things. Some days it's better. Others it's not so good. Still, years may go by and I may be marvelled by the distance I've covered.
Laura Jane Williams gives her own testimony on the subject, correcting the "happily ever after" usually served, by the rawness and the painful reality.
Daisy Buchanan claims on the cover, "If you've ever felt a little lost, I hope this book finds its way to you". And you know what? In my case, it did.
Laura Jane Williams gives her own testimony on the subject, correcting the "happily ever after" usually served, by the rawness and the painful reality.
Daisy Buchanan claims on the cover, "If you've ever felt a little lost, I hope this book finds its way to you". And you know what? In my case, it did.
January 17, 2019
A beautiful book about vulnerability, heartbreak, strength and gumption.
I’m a big fan of Laura’s online presence and red magazine articles and this book made me fall more in love with her tellings of her faults, and wisdom.
There were so many sections I highlighted and will revisit because honestly, we as humans never recover from heartbreak of past loves. The baggage always follows us in to healthy relationships and plays tricks but Laura guided a light to becoming our own champion and doing the work to loving ourselves will help us swim through the waves when they hit unexpectedly.
I’m a big fan of Laura’s online presence and red magazine articles and this book made me fall more in love with her tellings of her faults, and wisdom.
There were so many sections I highlighted and will revisit because honestly, we as humans never recover from heartbreak of past loves. The baggage always follows us in to healthy relationships and plays tricks but Laura guided a light to becoming our own champion and doing the work to loving ourselves will help us swim through the waves when they hit unexpectedly.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 1, 2019
At times I loved this book and others found it tricky. Without even an ounce of confidence that Laura Jane Williams possess at times I found it a little to self indulgent. But I think that speaks more from my own insecurities. I wonder if I found myself in a similarly self aware situation if I would have related more. The bravery to lay your life bare, including all the hardness is something few people do.
July 11, 2017
If you hang around on the Internet, you've probably come across Laura Jane Williams and her brilliant blog at one time or another (and if you haven't, where have you been?). There was a lot of praise for her first book when it came out last year but it's only just fallen into my hands. With a subtitle of 'Sex, Second Chances, and Figuring Out Who the Hell I am', you can guess at the subject matter, and I think a lot of people will have similar stories to tell from their own lives - but isn't that the point? After being dumped by the man she thought she was going to marry, Laura turned to booze and sex to try and heal her heart. But, after finding that it just isn't working for her, she embarks on a journey of self-discovery from Derby to Detroit, and finally to an... Italian convent?
The comparisons with Wild by Cheryl Strayed or Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert are inevitable, but I think they are justified; not only does this book feature solo female travel, designed to repair and restore the traveller's heart and soul, but Laura manages to combine that wonderful mixture of honesty and sincerity with humour and self-deprecation, which makes this kind of memoir work for me. It would be so easy to go too far down the navel-gazing route, or to make the story more light-hearted in an effort to shun emotional intimacy with the reader, but Laura is unfailingly honest, even when it doesn't picture her in the best light, whilst remaining warm and self-aware enough to have you rooting for her the whole way. We might not have all gone on such a journey, but anyone who has ever experienced heartbreak (and haven't we all?) will find something special in this book.
The comparisons with Wild by Cheryl Strayed or Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert are inevitable, but I think they are justified; not only does this book feature solo female travel, designed to repair and restore the traveller's heart and soul, but Laura manages to combine that wonderful mixture of honesty and sincerity with humour and self-deprecation, which makes this kind of memoir work for me. It would be so easy to go too far down the navel-gazing route, or to make the story more light-hearted in an effort to shun emotional intimacy with the reader, but Laura is unfailingly honest, even when it doesn't picture her in the best light, whilst remaining warm and self-aware enough to have you rooting for her the whole way. We might not have all gone on such a journey, but anyone who has ever experienced heartbreak (and haven't we all?) will find something special in this book.
August 14, 2021
I really wanted to like this book. As a twenty something myself, I found myself relatable to Laura before I settled down with my current partner 4 years ago, and now consequently own a house with him and we have a child together.
I used to live and work in the hustle and bustle of London, writing my blog on the side of working in a number of creative jobs and dated, a lot. Good and bad boys, (and men), mostly bad.
Unfortunately, I found this book to be quite the opposite of relatable and struggled to finish it, but I powered through hoping it would get better. Incredibly crude. There’s a lot of self hate, arrogance, selfishness and obnoxious traits in the author, and so it was difficult to not loathe the character, often forgetting that this is a memoir and based on a real persons’ life experiences.
I’ve had this book sitting on the shelf for years, so I thought it was about time I read it. But into the charity bag it now goes…
I used to live and work in the hustle and bustle of London, writing my blog on the side of working in a number of creative jobs and dated, a lot. Good and bad boys, (and men), mostly bad.
Unfortunately, I found this book to be quite the opposite of relatable and struggled to finish it, but I powered through hoping it would get better. Incredibly crude. There’s a lot of self hate, arrogance, selfishness and obnoxious traits in the author, and so it was difficult to not loathe the character, often forgetting that this is a memoir and based on a real persons’ life experiences.
I’ve had this book sitting on the shelf for years, so I thought it was about time I read it. But into the charity bag it now goes…
March 28, 2023
LJW is an expert storyteller: heart-warming, honest, and hilarious! This book had me in tears of laughter and tears of pain as I couldn't help but feel sympathy for her younger self. I was glued to the couch until I finished it. Each time I surfaced for air, I'd be living with half a mind in the Boston, London, or Italy, wherever she was at the time.
I admired her courage to keep going despite the massive betrayal that overturned her life, beliefs and trust structures, and I admired her plucky friends who tirelessly reinforced that she is worth all the dignity and goodness in the world, as are we all. I enjoyed reading about the book being written and the way it ended in a circular fashion, and I enjoyed seeing where LJW got the inspiration for Nadia ('Our Stop') and her other ballsy female protagonists.
A must read for fans of LJW's novels or any Eat, Pray, Love-esque memoir that doesn't shy away from the worst parts of sex and heartbreak and the very best parts of self-discovery, travel, and friendship. Honestly, one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Would recommend 100%!
I admired her courage to keep going despite the massive betrayal that overturned her life, beliefs and trust structures, and I admired her plucky friends who tirelessly reinforced that she is worth all the dignity and goodness in the world, as are we all. I enjoyed reading about the book being written and the way it ended in a circular fashion, and I enjoyed seeing where LJW got the inspiration for Nadia ('Our Stop') and her other ballsy female protagonists.
A must read for fans of LJW's novels or any Eat, Pray, Love-esque memoir that doesn't shy away from the worst parts of sex and heartbreak and the very best parts of self-discovery, travel, and friendship. Honestly, one of the best memoirs I've ever read. Would recommend 100%!
October 28, 2018
More of a 2.5
Let me just say that I adore Laura and her blog. I find her extremely witty and funny on Twitter.
I listened to the audiobook, narrated by her but, something just didn’t click for me. It is a tale of heartbreak, loss and finding yourself but for me, I felt for a memoir, much of it was heavily embellished.
It’s a real shame, I wanted to love this but I just couldn’t gel with it - despite myself having overcome heartbreak after a long term relationship. There are other reviews with the same thoughts that reflect how I feel too but sadly, this one just wasn’t for me.
Let me just say that I adore Laura and her blog. I find her extremely witty and funny on Twitter.
I listened to the audiobook, narrated by her but, something just didn’t click for me. It is a tale of heartbreak, loss and finding yourself but for me, I felt for a memoir, much of it was heavily embellished.
It’s a real shame, I wanted to love this but I just couldn’t gel with it - despite myself having overcome heartbreak after a long term relationship. There are other reviews with the same thoughts that reflect how I feel too but sadly, this one just wasn’t for me.
July 12, 2018
I could identify with so many things that happened in this book! The heartbreak, the casual sex, the realisations etc. The book gets much better as it goes on. I have to say that at the beginning some of the dialogue between the characters came over a bit “cheesy”, and this is very petty but I noticed a few typos which makes the book seem amateur when it really isn’t. Overall though a very enjoyable read, I was rooting for Laura throughout and I’m going to follow her blog now too.
August 2, 2019
I really enjoyed this memoir! Easy to read, full of youthful soul-searching and travel escapades, giving me a case of extreme envy for the Italian cobbled streets for a gelato! Laura's energetic personality paired with her emotional journey to vulnerability kept me turning the pages long after my eyes went heavy. A welcome Summery joy!
On a memoir binge at the moment so if anyone has good recommendations please send my way!
On a memoir binge at the moment so if anyone has good recommendations please send my way!
February 20, 2020
I love Laura's books, she is an excellent writer. That said I struggled with this one and stopped halfway through. I picked it back up a few months later and ended up loving it. Laura's journey is a tough read at times, nothing to do with the writing, just feels too sad at times. It was a great read though and to see how from utter devastation and true pain someone can grow and flourish was beautiful.
February 3, 2022
“The reticence in penning any of this has its roots in my changeability. I so long to be the girl who understands who and what she is, what she stands for, is reliable and constant. But that is absolutely not me. To borrow from Zadie Smith: ideological inconsistency is practically my doctrine - a discourse on what I once believed, what I understand now, and how I hope to unpack the mental boxes still unknown means I’m forever unfinished business. Isn’t that exhausting?”
May 13, 2018
I hate myself for such a low review as I adore Laura’s blog and Instagram, I recommend it to others all the time. However I couldn’t get on bored with Becoming. It felt so over emphasised and fake? Some of the conversations - nobody talks like that nobody I know anyone. Nobody actually calls there best friend baby girl or sugar tits, do they?
July 30, 2018
Funny whilst heartbreaking all in one.
This is a perfect read for the modern woman trying to find herself.
From one night stands to travelling around Europe and seedy heartbreaking moments. This is written with the intent that we have all felt some of the emotions expressed in this book.
Will definitely recommend to friends.
This is a perfect read for the modern woman trying to find herself.
From one night stands to travelling around Europe and seedy heartbreaking moments. This is written with the intent that we have all felt some of the emotions expressed in this book.
Will definitely recommend to friends.
December 26, 2018
One of those books I wish I'd read sooner. I needed to read something like this when a past relationship broke down! It affirms all the life lessons you are slowly starting to realise as you navigate through your twenties and is a wonderful story about coming of age and realising that once you love yourself wholly, then you can allow someone else to love you too.
January 4, 2019
I read this shortly after reading Dolly Alderton's "Everything I know about love" and found it a great segue. Williams is frank and brutally honest about her experiences, and I found I related to a lot of her thoughts and some of the inner turmoil she went through. A funny, open and entertaining read.
July 4, 2017
While I don't usually gravitate toward these types of books, I really enjoyed Laura's story. Her writing style is fantastic: it's thought-provoking without being pretentious, emotionally charged without being over-dramatic, reflective without being self-indulgent.
May 9, 2018
What a memoir
Following how much I loved Dolly Alderton's love memoir, I loved this just as much. About heartbreak and loss, and probably too much sex. A heart felt story that is so brutally honest and explicit. It's just so real and beautiful
Following how much I loved Dolly Alderton's love memoir, I loved this just as much. About heartbreak and loss, and probably too much sex. A heart felt story that is so brutally honest and explicit. It's just so real and beautiful
May 29, 2018
Felt like I was riding the tricky young woman adventure with Laura- fantastically written, funny, poignant and a wonderful reflection of that rollercoaster of a ride when you’re just trying to figure out the woman you want to be!
May 14, 2017
Misschien had ik hier te veel van verwacht, maar ik heb me meer geërgerd en afgevraagd hoelang het boek nog was, dan dat ik het ontroerend of knap vond.
November 28, 2017
I’m so confused at all the rave-reviews? This was absolute self-absorbed drivel. It was so dull. I was hoping this would be uplifting and inspiring but in reality, I was so bored.
March 28, 2018
I think this book is one that many women have been waiting for. It's bold and empowered. Still, much of the subject didn't resonate with me and I found myself struggling to reach the end.
June 29, 2018
Brilliant.
August 15, 2018
I absolutely adored this book! I have been a fan of LJW for a while and have only just got round to reading her debut, I cannot wait to read the next books from her.
January 13, 2019
A frank memoir of a very tumultuous time in the authors life. A pacy read with humour and a rarely found self awareness
Displaying 1 - 30 of 49 reviews