Peace Between the Sheets: Healing with Sexual Relationships

by Marnia Robinson

Peace Between the Sheets offers a simple but revolutionary modern relationships often founder because of dysfunctional sexual habits. But when couples shift away from "heat-centered" toward "heart-centered" sexual interactions, they gain a mutual satisfaction that transcends physical gratification. Robinson advocates teaching the body a different response to sexual arousal that is driven by love over biology. The benefits include reducing stress, rejuvenating the body, helping overcome addictions, and developing a positive outlook. Over two parts, "Why" and "How," the book devotes twelve chapters to topics like "Why do We Fall Out of Love?," "Outwitting Biology," "Want to Try It?," and "The Ecstatic Exchanges." Peace Between the Sheets tackles a delicate issue with sound reasoning, solid research, and a healthy dose of humor.

296 pages, Paperback

First published November 17, 2003

Reviews

[Elizabeth · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is built on the premise that orgasms are addicting and that the addiction will ruin most romantic rel's. This is the marriage of the vital fluids doctrine and the sex addiction theories. Too bad there is no science to back any of this up.

If ever I had nothing to do, I should go through the notes in this book and debunk the idea that the references have in any way supported the basic premise of this book.


This book is full of ref's by authors who probably wish this author had never heard of them and never noticed them. Except Mantak Chia who has his religious beliefs to support his suppositions that are in direct line with the premises of this book. Mantak Chia is not a scientist and nothing he says about sex makes it so. Science does not support the least thing about this book. You can pile the ref on by the pound and it won't make them support this ideas in this book.


***** article 303 in database: printout dated 9/24/2012 of EA's goodreads review of the book, with discussion thread

[Amy J · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author of this book Marnia Robinson has done a vast amount of research that shows that as the duration of partnerships increase, sexual desire declines in women, while desire for tenderness declines in men, and the biological causes of this. How irritation and disdain that develops towards your partner is actually a result of various hormones and brain chemicals that, believe it or not, are the result of procreation driven love-making.

This book takes a very different approach to sex, explaining how traditional orgasmic-driven sex eventually causes a relationship to break down, and it describes a different approach that can increase bonding, communication and harmony in a relationship. After reading this book it really opened my eyes, I had so many 'ah' moments reflecting on why all my past relationships fell apart.

There is also an important spiritual component to this type of lovemaking. Sexual energy (usually lost through orgasm) can be used to help us in our internal spiritual transformation. There is a much more intelligent way to make use of the sexual energies than most people realise.

Again, a very different approach and a highly recommended read.

[Josh · Rating 5 out of 5]

interested thesis. as a good humanist, one must test theories with practice.

[Sarah Byrden · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book literally turned my lover and I into platonic Friends over a period of months. It absolutely killed any sexual fire and chemistry we had, and therefore our relationship. It was the end of us.
We were looking for
Something to deepen our sexual bond, which was significant and gorgeous. We started this approach and we plummeted. I would not recommend this book. It is a devastating repression of the beauty and soul of sexual and erotic “heat” and the possibility that sexual fire is a doorway to deeper heart bonding.

[Tsvetelina Ilieva-Mihaylova · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Миличък, докато бяхме заедно, ти все повтаряше, че си готов да умреш за мен. Сега, когато сме разведени, не мислиш ли, че е време да спазиш обещанието си?"
Речник на женския език за мъже:
Ако казва: "Ти реши ", това всъщност означава: "Правилното решение вече би трябвало да е очевидно."
"Трябва ни" означава "Трябва ми".
Интересно четиво.

[Henry Le Nav · Rating 2 out of 5]

It has been a while since I read this book so view my commentary with a jaded eye, but I found myself in a lot of disagreement with the author, but I will say that if you want to learn methods of sex without orgasm, this book will probably get you there, but you may feel that you are undergoing basic military training doing so.

In my mind the purpose of sex beyond reproduction (which is an essential but rarely used option) is to maintain a loving relationship for the couple. Sex serves the relationship. The relationship does not serve sex. Somewhere in the book the author indicates that if your partner is not willing to give up orgasms then you should get a new partner!

That killed it for me.

The author almost gets hysterical about orgasms to the point that it started to grate on my nerves. I finished the book but I can't say that I personally agree with much of her claims.

I believe that orgasms are good for both women and men, and I also believe that there is a good bit of biochemical communication going on down there that would not be fully developed without orgasm by both partners. Admittedly that is an anecdotal observation on my part, but that is my belief.

I also feel that she swept the issue of prostate health under the rug. I don't remember her specific argument about it, but it was unsatisfactory to me.

Again the biggest problem I had with the book was this abandonment of your partner because they don't adhere to her program! Good God you have to be out of your mind! My wife is the love of my life. We have 34 years of orgasmic marriage (plus a couple of years of hanky panky prior). I sure as hell am not going to part with my wife over orgasms!

I think it was in this book, there was a comparison of the thoughts of man and woman about a dinner and the evening after. The woman writes this long dissertation claiming her partner was quiet and detached at dinner, he would only watch the game on TV, he said nothing to her on way home, he was cold to her during sex, etc etc etc and her final belief was that he was having an affair and was going to leave her. His description was something to the effect "The Lakers lost, got laid though! Best part of the book.

EDIT: it is this book, you can read it on page 108 in the Google preview, search Lakers in the preview.

[Prajna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm in the process of working with this book. I'm a little unsure about how it is so completely anti-orgasm. It seems a little dogmatic. I'll let you know how it goes as I go through the rest of the exercises.

[Karrie]

Interesting perspective although I can't seem to finish!

[Melanie]

i love and was talking to a friend about this book today...i want to re-read it

[David Tholen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not what the God of the universe had in mind for marriage. This was a waste of my time.