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From Difficult to Delightful in Just 30 Days: How to Improve the Behavior of Your Spirited Child
Turn your "problem" child into a happy child--no drugs, no therapy, no nonsense If you're the parent of a difficult child, you understand the frustrations of dealing with daily tantrums, tearful tirades, and other troublesome behavior. You may have even resorted to therapy or drugs. But if you follow the simple, commonsense steps described in this book, you will see a remarkable turnaround in your child’s behavior--in only four weeks. Based on Dr. Jacob Azerrad’s thirty-five years of experience as a child psychologist, this back-to-basics parenting program is a proven method for transforming the behavior of the most problematic child—even one diagnosed with ADHD. Dr. Azerrad’s method is surprisingly simple and really works. In fact, you’ll see a delightful difference in your difficult child almost immediately. Dr. Azerrad's family-friendly guide will show you how
- GenresParentingNonfiction
256 pages, Paperback
First published May 3, 2006
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
March 7, 2012
Most of this book consists of justifications for why parents should be reading it, including case histories of families who saw Azerrad for therapy. In the midst of all this filler, there are a few pages of concise instruction on how to effect positive change by rewarding good behavior.
When the child's behavior is inappropriate, Azerrad recommends saying, "We don't scream and shout/We don't use those words," etc., and giving a short time out. He advises putting the child in a chair facing a wall and standing behind him or her the whole time. (This could work with a 2-year-old, but trying it out with an older kid who is already used to self-soothing with free range of a bedroom sounds like added stress to me.)
The part of the book that seems most promising to me is the part that will get both the child and the parent feeling better about the child: If the kid is kind to a sibling, engages in kindness outside the family (which Azerrad mistakenly calls Mother Teresa behaviors), or successfully calms down after a disappointment, praise him or her for being a "big girl/big boy." Often follow up that positive feedback with an implicit reward of one-on-one fun with the parent (e.g. a walk to the park, reading together, or playing a game).
When the child's behavior is inappropriate, Azerrad recommends saying, "We don't scream and shout/We don't use those words," etc., and giving a short time out. He advises putting the child in a chair facing a wall and standing behind him or her the whole time. (This could work with a 2-year-old, but trying it out with an older kid who is already used to self-soothing with free range of a bedroom sounds like added stress to me.)
The part of the book that seems most promising to me is the part that will get both the child and the parent feeling better about the child: If the kid is kind to a sibling, engages in kindness outside the family (which Azerrad mistakenly calls Mother Teresa behaviors), or successfully calms down after a disappointment, praise him or her for being a "big girl/big boy." Often follow up that positive feedback with an implicit reward of one-on-one fun with the parent (e.g. a walk to the park, reading together, or playing a game).
August 28, 2017
This book is well-worth the read. I really enjoyed reading the case studies and didn't consider them "filler" (as another reviewer put it) at all.
It's so obvious, yet so seldom pointed out, that the one commonality of poor behaviour is that the child isn't getting her way. Instead of providing multiple scenarios, and a different strategy to deal with each (based on what you might guess your child is thinking or feeling at that moment), the author offers one simple strategy to handle it all.
The first day I started using the term "grown-up" to praise my four year old (as the book suggests), she started looking for more ways to demonstrate how grown-up she was (making her bed, dusting low furniture, and watering the plants without being asked, offering to share with her little sister, etc). That night she told her dad all about how grown-up she is, and listed the ways she had demonstrated it that day.
I love the idea of a daily recounting of positives. I wish I'd been doing it since she started talking. :)
It's so obvious, yet so seldom pointed out, that the one commonality of poor behaviour is that the child isn't getting her way. Instead of providing multiple scenarios, and a different strategy to deal with each (based on what you might guess your child is thinking or feeling at that moment), the author offers one simple strategy to handle it all.
The first day I started using the term "grown-up" to praise my four year old (as the book suggests), she started looking for more ways to demonstrate how grown-up she was (making her bed, dusting low furniture, and watering the plants without being asked, offering to share with her little sister, etc). That night she told her dad all about how grown-up she is, and listed the ways she had demonstrated it that day.
I love the idea of a daily recounting of positives. I wish I'd been doing it since she started talking. :)
December 13, 2012
In case people can't tell, my daughter is slightly "high spirited." I prefer to use the now-un-PC term "hyper." Although I'm not banking on a 30-day miracle (since I'll be lucky to get this finished before she's 30 YEARS old), it does have a lot of good advice.
The issue of the book is really that the author feels that children are being drugged up with ADD and ADHD medications that are unnecessary, and if parents just try a few different approaches to their child's behavior, they will change without the need for drugs.
I skipped the chapter that specifically dealt with overmedication and such, because I don't feel that my daughter needs meds, esp. since she's only around 2 years old. I wouldn't even classify her as anything near ADD or ADHD. She's just very active, opinionated, and demands attention; a force to be reckoned with, if you will. But if my husband and I apply some of these methods regularly, there should be some improvement.
If I could only finish the book and start applying everything...
The issue of the book is really that the author feels that children are being drugged up with ADD and ADHD medications that are unnecessary, and if parents just try a few different approaches to their child's behavior, they will change without the need for drugs.
I skipped the chapter that specifically dealt with overmedication and such, because I don't feel that my daughter needs meds, esp. since she's only around 2 years old. I wouldn't even classify her as anything near ADD or ADHD. She's just very active, opinionated, and demands attention; a force to be reckoned with, if you will. But if my husband and I apply some of these methods regularly, there should be some improvement.
If I could only finish the book and start applying everything...
April 16, 2010
I was very impressed with this book. I usually cannot get through one of these kinds of books. But this one really had me hooked. I'm working on his advice right now. Some things are working and others are taking a bit. I guess I've only been doing it for a few days.
What I liked the most is his way of thinking and his reasoning behind his theories. Much of it just makes sense to me. Also I liked his reasoning behind not drugging children. On how ADHD is so generic and most of the time that kids are put to medication they do not learn to cope and improve their behavior, it's artificial. Granted, some might need it but probably just a small % compared to the thousands and thousands that are on medication just because people don't want to 'deal' with the kids behaviors. The author mentioned how we as parents need to be teachers to our kids, not psychologist.
Anyway, I could go on, but I really did feel I benefited from this book, now we'll see how well his recommendations work on the boys.
What I liked the most is his way of thinking and his reasoning behind his theories. Much of it just makes sense to me. Also I liked his reasoning behind not drugging children. On how ADHD is so generic and most of the time that kids are put to medication they do not learn to cope and improve their behavior, it's artificial. Granted, some might need it but probably just a small % compared to the thousands and thousands that are on medication just because people don't want to 'deal' with the kids behaviors. The author mentioned how we as parents need to be teachers to our kids, not psychologist.
Anyway, I could go on, but I really did feel I benefited from this book, now we'll see how well his recommendations work on the boys.
July 27, 2009
A different parenting book written by an author STRONGLY against any drugs for children. Instead, he extolls looking for and teaching your kids sibling caring, mother teresa behaviors, and taking disappointment calmly. The ABCDs of changed behavior are reminding the child of good behavior later on, followed by 100% praise, explaining why that behavior is valued by you, then followed by parent/child fun time in an activity you know your child enjoys. Author does not condone spanking.
October 15, 2008
I generally liked this book, though I think it had a lot of huge gaps of missing information, and it wasn't really well organized. I agree with the parenting philosophy of the author, and his recommendations for discipline and guidance.
April 8, 2014
Totally disagree with this guy - how can he write a book based on his view that ADHD does not exist. Yes, parents need to parent, of that I have no doubt, but there is a place and a need for other therapies as well.
July 21, 2008
Ok. Nothing mind-blowing.
July 6, 2009
Good advice. Interesting case studies. When I remember to do as he insturcts, I see improved behavior.
February 2, 2010
Ok book. Little hard to follow and see his organization of thought. Had some valid points. I'd like to try some of his suggestions and see what happens.
January 14, 2013
The author's approach to discipline seems very effective.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews