Deadpan

by Chris Bell

Most people’s death is untimely but Auckland stand-up comic Ian Lethe is shocked to hear about his own demise on the radio, not least because as far as he can tell he’s still alive. As might be expected, depressed and misanthropic Lethe’s view of the world shifts as, in his new precarious corporeal state, he encounters a series of emergencies both minor and major and finds himself in situations that require him to help members of the local Māngere Bridge community. A chance meeting with charismatic community police constable Rose Tōpana at the scene of an armed robbery precipitates an unlikely friendship. Rose identifies a special ability in him after seeing one of Lethe’s stand-up gigs, and he’s soon undergoing police training as a crime scene negotiator. But Lethe’s interpersonal style doesn’t always lead to the success he and his trainers hope for. Rose’s elderly mother Pat suffers from dementia and lives in a rest home. Rose introduces Lethe to her and an unexpected bond develops. Rose inspires him to explore his material and nurtures Lethe’s appreciation of art, causing him to think about its relationship to his stagecraft. He talks his way out of an armed holdup, securing the safe release of a number of hostages, but he is unconvinced that the credit for bringing the bank robbery to a peaceful conclusion belongs to him. The story of Lethe’s suburban escapades is punctuated by insights into his eccentric comedic technique; rants about technology, teenagers, Auckland drivers, poverty and ageing, among other things. Deadpan culminates in Lethe’s intervention at what appears to be another hostage-taking. He does his best to talk sense into Ari, the perpetrator, with whom he’s vaguely acquainted. He tries to persuade Ari to be remembered for what he creates, not what he destroys but on this occasion neither luck nor experience is on his side. Fortunately Rose by now cares enough for Lethe to see past the bleakness of his worldview to comfort him in a loss that appears to be both local and universal. By the author of ‘Liquidambar’ (bit.ly/2aygloV); ‘Saccade’ (bit.ly/2aygjxn); ‘The Bumper Book of Lies’ (amzn.to/2aVhhs8); and ‘The Concentrated Essence of Any Number of Ravens’ (bit.ly/2aHZG3l).

133 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 15, 2016

About the author

Chris Bell

The author was born in Wales in 1960. In 1976 he was the youngest poet ever to be published in former Poetry Society chairman Norman Hidden’s magazine Workshop New Poetry (UK). In January 2006 his poem about the writer Richard Brautigan, ‘The Graves Have Turned to Powdered Wind’, won the Edit Red Writers Choice Award. His poetry has been published in Axiom (Wales); Scree (England); Sivullinen (Finland); foam:e and Snorkel (Australia).

His fiction has appeared in The Year’s Best Fantasy & Horror (Tenth Annual Edition) (US), in which his short story collection The Bumper Book of Lies received an honourable mention; The Mammoth Book of Best New Horror #21; and This Is The Summer of Love (New Writers Special) (UK); Not One of Us (US); Zygote and TransVersions (Canada); Zahir (US); The Third Alternative and Postscripts (UK); The Heidelberg Review (Germany) and Takahe (New Zealand). His first novel, Liquidambar, inspired by Edward Hopper’s paintings, won the UKA Press ‘Search For A Great Read’ competition.