Dematerializing: Taming The Power Of Possessions

by Jane Hammerslough

Can the perfect new couch in your family room make for great times with your family? Does a diamond that costs two months' salary mean that love will last forever? In this era of high expectations and "low monthly payments," getting what you want has never seemed easier. And "getting what you want," in this environment, is increasingly linked to buying something. But is it always enough?Picking up where "simplifying" may not satisfy, Dematerializing acknowledges the pleasures, along with the pitfalls, of living in a material world. With a sharp eye and an attitude that's anything but holier-than-thou, Jane Hammerslough encourages readers to explore how a consumption-crazed culture affects their own relationships with objects. By considering what possessions can and can't do, and by exploring where belief in the magic of the material encroaches on belief in ourselves and other people, Dematerializing offers insight into the pressures of living in a possession-obsessed environment-and ways to tame materialism in our own lives. Grounded by real-world examples, research, and the author's own experience, this inspiring book is for those who appreciate having "nice things" but are also disturbed by the control "nice things" sometimes have on their lives.

Genres: Nonfiction, Psychology

288 pages, Hardcover

First published September 1, 2001

About the author

Jane Hammerslough is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) with a client-focused, goal-oriented approach grounded in trauma research and evidence-based practices. She works with individuals, couples, and families, helping clients explore life patterns, build connections, and address relationship challenges and estrangement. Her practice integrates modalities such as EMDR, Trauma-Focused CBT, Imago, and Gottman Method. Jane’s background includes research on PTSD and trauma among post-deployed veterans. Also a published author of 30 books and contributor to academic and media publications, she consults on parenting and family issues. She is licensed in New York, Florida, California, and Massachusetts.

Reviews

[Kate · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are some decent ideas being presented but there seems to be a LOT of clutter and trivial examples filling these pages. A lot of analogies that go nowhere.

And I don't even get how some of this stuff is supposed to apply to the overall theme, it's like she took her own personal philosophies on everything in life and just sent it out to be published.

There's a lot of wishy-washy filler, too. Here's what I culled from pages 240-241:
"there may be something gained from..."
"it's worth considering the idea that..."
"it's also worth exploring the idea that..."
"it's worth examining whether..."
"It's worth questioning...
"it's interesting to consider..."
Where is a freaking editor when you need one? How can you let something like this go to print?

Meanwhile, in these same two pages, she opines:
"The old-fashioned expression "growing pains" seems like an oxymoron..."
"And as the philosopher Epicurus observed a couple of thousand years ago..."
"Martin Seligman, as head of the American Psychological Association, once called depression in the United States an 'epidemic'..."
"An elementary school teacher tells me..."
"a secondary-school administrator says he..."
"A midwife once described the pain of labor as a 'difficult friend' to me."
"A friend of mine owns a cat..."

There are a lot of damned dictionary definitions being used as paragraph openers, a lot of one-line quotes plucked out of nowhere (the people she quotes on these two pages she never bothers to mention again anywhere in the book), a lot of boring personal experiences, and a lot of slogans of products that she tosses in as an example but drives me crazy by not actually mentioning which "discount clothing store" or "high-end luxury automobile" she's talking about, so I'm constantly wracking my brain and feeling left out. Left out of what? Another pitiful example mashed onto a crumbly pile of nothing.

I've got 30 pages left and I would really rather burn this book than finish it.

[Dawn · Rating 3 out of 5]

This had some thought-provoking stuff in it. The basic premise is that material things are just objects, and they don't have any meaning except what we give them. Hammerslough spends most of the book examining the meanings we knowingly and unknowingly attach to the things we own, as well as the things we wish we owned. She concludes with some thoughts on how to get past attaching meaning to stuff, and focusing on what's really important in life.

I probably would have given this four stars, except that I've heard a lot of this before. The problem of attachment is addressed in a lot of books on spirituality, particularly in Buddhism (although I'm not actually a Buddhist, I have some strong Buddhist tendencies). The attempt to separate yourself from your stuff can be tricky. I would recommend this book to people who have tried to part with their material possessions, but just can't seem to let go. As River says in the Firefly episode Objects in Space, "It's just an object. It doesn't mean what you think."

[Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would say that this book was good, but the writing was not readable. I found my mind wandering, mostly because many of the ideas about overcoming materialism I had heard before.

The author was English but lives in the USA, and I felt that sometimes she was torn between two audiences and at times would explain something clearly to an Englishman that would be unclear to the average American. It also worked the other way around.

Sometimes there were new and intriguing stories that helped inspire me. She drew upon many other sources of knowledge and did have a good bibliography. But who was she writing it for, academics or for her the audience from the column she writes for the times?

All in all it did make me rethink what I value and try to not fall for the pressure that our peers and society creates for us to conform to fashion. It mainly focused on the psychology of possession and our consumer culture. At times it was depressing to think that this is where we are at and are motivated by materialism.

[Ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the premise of the book - that we need to look carefully at what we buy, why we buy it, and what we expect it to add to our lives. But the writing was pretty bad. Each section of the book seemed to go like this:

"We are way too attached to objects in our lives. Yes, objects can be good, necessary, and really improve the quality of our lives. But can they really fulfill us? Are they worth as much as family? Can they replace good relationships in our lives? Why do we care so much about objects? Because of advertising. Of course no one really believes what advertising promises. But don't the constant messages we hear have some effect on us?"

If you think that this is vague, not particularly insightful, and basically the same thought process that you could come up with given 15 minutes and a word processor, I think you're right. And it's probably unnecessary to hear this line of reasoning repeated over and over again for over 100 pages.

[Gloria · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall, I liked it. I think what I struggled with, in starting the book, is that I was focussed on the idea of possessions as objects (due to the idea of dematerializing), rather than the larger question of the power behind possessions. Once I realized that it was about power and related emotions, for example anxiety and fear, I enjoyed it much more.

It is a sweeping, rapid run through many many ideas. I would probably compare it more to Alain Botton's Status Anxiety than a traditional de-object-your-life type of book. For that reason, I think it is well worth the read.

I would say that the writing was such, or perhaps it was the organization of the book, that made it difficult for me to feel as if I could articulate an argument coming from the author. But nevertheless, well worth a quick skim.

[Tim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dematerializing does not come at the question of material goods from the same perspective that I do, but I greatly appreciate the work Hammerslough has gone through in dividing our potential connections to consumption and reflecting on those connections. She outlines the various reasons we turn to goods, acknowledges the limits to those reasons, and encourages a deeper connection with other people and with the natural world. It is a simple book, it can be dipped into at leisure, and it asks good questions and offers simple starting answers.

[Arwen Downs · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although I occasionally skim paragraphs of this book that seem to be a reiteration of concepts that are common knowledge, overall the exploration of (specifically Western) attitudes toward possessions is well-thought-out and in many ways helpful. Granted, I am a pack rat who views this as the first "self-help" type book she has ever read, but I would recommend it to any person who despairs over the object-driven culture we live in.

[Melody · Rating 2 out of 5]

More pop psychology than how-to, this book was written in the style of a Glamour Magazine article. Full of cheery anecdotes and unsupported assertions, it was inoffensive and even enjoyable in parts. The very last chapter had some practical tips, but they were truly vague. Actually, the whole book was vague. It would have made a better magazine series, maybe spread over 3 issues.

[Beth Yeh · Rating 1 out of 5]

Although I am usually a huge fan of organization and simplification books, this one was not on my favorite list. There were parts that I found interesting, but it wasn't a page turner the way I often find books on cutting out extra stuff.

[Fee · Rating 2 out of 5]

A journalist's dissertation on the power of possessions today, complete with historical references. Not well written, but it had some interesting points. I was distracted and lost in her overuse of punctuation.

[Jason · Rating 1 out of 5]

There's a lot of rambling in this book. She jumps from point to point without really connecting the dots. The chapter about actually dematerializing your life was the only one that seemed to have some advice for how to do so.

[Emma · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wish there was a rating for "It was OK".. because I didn't not like, but I would've rather read other books. The content was a little dry and it seemed like she talked about the same thing the whole book and dragged it out. Something things were cool, like the "modern sins" and whatnot.

[d4 · Rating 1 out of 5]

This could (and should) have been condensed into a magazine article. Too many not-quite-interesting anecdotes--mostly paraphrased from interviews, books, articles that the author read.

[Daisy Lloyd · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the examination of obsession with possessions in this combination of philosophy, pop culture and sociology. Thoughtful and interesting.

[Kelly Mould · Rating 2 out of 5]

Didn't finish. I agree with her message but didn't find she was speaking to me.

[Onconerka · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't finish it.