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It Happens All the Time
“Bravely sheds light on sexual assault and consent. In alternating perspectives friends Tyler and Amber recount an alcohol-fueled night that changed the course of their lives.” –Us Weekly From master storyteller Amy Hatvany—whose writing has been hailed as “gripping and emotionally honest” (Stephanie Evanovich, New York Times betselling author)— comes a compelling story about friendship and consent, perfect for “fans of Jodi Picoult or Diane Chamberlain” (Library Journal).I want to rewind the clock, take back the night when the world shattered. I want to erase everything that went wrong.Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks have been best friends since they were teenagers—trusting and depending on each other through some of the darkest periods of their young lives. And while Amber has always felt that their relationship is strictly platonic, Tyler has long harbored the secret desire that they might one day become more than friends.Returning home for the summer after her college graduation, Amber begins spending more time with Tyler than she has in years. Despite the fact that Amber is engaged to her college sweetheart, a flirtation begins to grow between them. One night, fueled by alcohol and concerns about whether she’s getting married too young, Amber kisses Tyler. What happens next will change them forever. Told “with nuance and compassion” (Kirkus Reviews) in alternating points of view, It Happens All the Time is “a compulsory read for men and women” (Redbook) that will “consume you, drawing you into the very real plight of the main characters and leaving you hoping for a better future for us all” (Buzzfeed).
321 pages, Kindle Edition
First published March 28, 2017
133 people are currently reading
4912 people want to read
About the author
Amy Hatvany
16 books1,003 followersAmy Hatvany was born in Seattle, WA in 1972, the youngest of three children. She graduated from Western Washington University in 1994 with a degree in Sociology only to discover most sociologists are unemployed. Soon followed a variety of jobs – some of which she loved, like decorating wedding cakes; others which she merely tolerated, like receptionist. In 1998, Amy finally decided to sell her car, quit her job, and take a chance on writing books.
The literary gods took kindly to her aspirations and THE KIND OF LOVE THAT SAVES YOU was published in 2000 by Bantam Doubleday. THE LANGUAGE OF SISTERS was picked up by NAL in 2002. (Both titles published under "Yurk.")
Amy spends most of her time today with her second and final husband, Stephan. (Seriously, if this one doesn’t work out, she’s done.) She stays busy with her two children, Scarlett and Miles, and her “bonus child,” Anna. Their blended family also includes two four-legged hairy children, commonly known as Black Lab mutts, Kenda and Dolcé. When Amy’s not with friends or family, she is most likely reading, cooking or zoning out on certain reality television shows. Top Chef is a current favorite. She eagerly awaits auditions for the cast of “Top Author.” (“Quick Edit” instead of “Quick Fire” Challenge? C’mon, producers! That’s gripping television!)
The literary gods took kindly to her aspirations and THE KIND OF LOVE THAT SAVES YOU was published in 2000 by Bantam Doubleday. THE LANGUAGE OF SISTERS was picked up by NAL in 2002. (Both titles published under "Yurk.")
Amy spends most of her time today with her second and final husband, Stephan. (Seriously, if this one doesn’t work out, she’s done.) She stays busy with her two children, Scarlett and Miles, and her “bonus child,” Anna. Their blended family also includes two four-legged hairy children, commonly known as Black Lab mutts, Kenda and Dolcé. When Amy’s not with friends or family, she is most likely reading, cooking or zoning out on certain reality television shows. Top Chef is a current favorite. She eagerly awaits auditions for the cast of “Top Author.” (“Quick Edit” instead of “Quick Fire” Challenge? C’mon, producers! That’s gripping television!)
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March 27, 2017
FULL REVIEW
If I’m being completely honest, this is the hardest review I’ve written to date. I won this book courtesy of Amy back in October and it’s been sitting on my shelf staring at me ever since. I had every intention of picking it up and getting this bad boy reviewed by January 1, but everytime I reached for it the lump in my throat and throbbing in my stomach won out and I chose an easier read. I’m going to stop right here and preface two things: 1) If you are wanting to go into this book completely blind (though I’m not sure how you would if you’ve seen any marketing for it yet) then stop right here. I’m not going to spoil the read, but I will be delving into the content matter a bit and wanted to give fair warning. 2) If you have a rape trigger, I normally advise against reading rape-related material, but if you’ve ever been a victim of sexual assault I’d highly encourage you to read this. Hopefully it’ll bring you some of the comfort you may never have received from your close ones at your lowest points.
“Violators cannot live with the truth; survivors cannot live without it.”
– Chrystine Oksana
I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face and snot pouring out my nose because I realized I’ve been searching for this book for the past decade; this coming October 20 will mark 10 years since the night I was raped. As difficult as it is to put those words to paper, it’s in the hope that I can reach someone who is silently suffering from a similar situation that needs an anchor. My intention is not to make this review about my experience or go into intricate detail; however, I want to establish the foundation of why this book is so necessary for women like myself. The media for years has pummeled our society with the notion that rape is a rare occurrence and only is acknowledged in the most brutal of circumstances. While film and literature tend to portray rape as only happening at the hands of serial killers, kidnappers, and psychopaths, most women are actually assaulted by someone they know, not a stranger. I spent many years questioning the validity of my own assault because my attacker was a “good guy”; he had always been kind to people and never once given the impression he was a monster of this sort. This book addresses that more realistic and messy type of situation and helped ease some of the confusion I had struggled with for years.
Consent– it is the entire foundation for Hatvany’s latest novel. I can already tell this book will ruffle some feathers and bring up all kinds of discussion and controversy amongst it’s readers. The plot revolves around Amber and Tyler; Amber is the only “miracle” child of her over protective parents (I could easily relate to this being an only child myself and the product of 10 years of trying to conceive after being told having children might not happen for my parents). She’s been shouldering the weight of feeling like she must succeed in everything to make up for the lack of other children her parents were unable have. Tyler moves in next door and becomes the older brother Amber never had; together they help each other through some extremely dark times, and although Tyler has always harbored feelings of more than friendship for Amber, she has never seen him as anything more than a brother. Enter here the controversy of consent. Without spoiling the read, we come to a point many years later that stops the reader in their tracks to consider their own belief on where consent lies.
All in all, this is the type of story that crosses genre barriers and holds us accountable for our views and how we treat victims. While this is a story about the attack and it’s ripple effect of consequences, it’s also a story of hope and redemption. Is it possible for someone to commit an unthinkable act and change? Can healing take place between two parties when this level of violation has occurred? I love how this book didn’t make it easy for the reader; there are no clear cut answers or magical happy endings. The reality of the attack altering Amber’s life forever is something all victims can relate to; while it is possible to work through the side effects (anxiety, depression, fear, and self-loathing) with therapy and sometimes medication, there’s never a fix all cure that can take back that horrible event. This book did, however, present the right questions that we as a society need to consider as we continually see rape cases being paraded across the media in a trivial fashion. If you are looking for a book that will grab your heart and cause you to think about some really tough, but timely issues, I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of It Happens All the Time. Amy chose to limit the graphic violence and sexual scenes; the rape scene is really a very small portion but I believe this made the book all the more powerful and readable while being less showy for the shock value. This is a story that will stay with me for years to come; I’m so proud of the author for sharing via social media her own experience with being assaulted at a young age, her drive to help overcome the stigma surrounding rape, and encouraging the support of victims everywhere.
*Many thanks to the author and publisher for providing my copy and the platform so that I would have the ability to share my own experience.
**If you’ve been a victim of sexual assault, please don’t suffer alone. Reach out for help; secrets and trauma can only control you if kept alone and in the dark. I’ve included some national hotlines with resources to help victims of all kinds of sexual assault:
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673 [24/7 hotline]
Self Injury Hotline
1-800-DON’T-CUT (366-8288)
Suicide Hotline
1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433)
If I’m being completely honest, this is the hardest review I’ve written to date. I won this book courtesy of Amy back in October and it’s been sitting on my shelf staring at me ever since. I had every intention of picking it up and getting this bad boy reviewed by January 1, but everytime I reached for it the lump in my throat and throbbing in my stomach won out and I chose an easier read. I’m going to stop right here and preface two things: 1) If you are wanting to go into this book completely blind (though I’m not sure how you would if you’ve seen any marketing for it yet) then stop right here. I’m not going to spoil the read, but I will be delving into the content matter a bit and wanted to give fair warning. 2) If you have a rape trigger, I normally advise against reading rape-related material, but if you’ve ever been a victim of sexual assault I’d highly encourage you to read this. Hopefully it’ll bring you some of the comfort you may never have received from your close ones at your lowest points.
“Violators cannot live with the truth; survivors cannot live without it.”
– Chrystine Oksana
I’m sitting here with tears streaming down my face and snot pouring out my nose because I realized I’ve been searching for this book for the past decade; this coming October 20 will mark 10 years since the night I was raped. As difficult as it is to put those words to paper, it’s in the hope that I can reach someone who is silently suffering from a similar situation that needs an anchor. My intention is not to make this review about my experience or go into intricate detail; however, I want to establish the foundation of why this book is so necessary for women like myself. The media for years has pummeled our society with the notion that rape is a rare occurrence and only is acknowledged in the most brutal of circumstances. While film and literature tend to portray rape as only happening at the hands of serial killers, kidnappers, and psychopaths, most women are actually assaulted by someone they know, not a stranger. I spent many years questioning the validity of my own assault because my attacker was a “good guy”; he had always been kind to people and never once given the impression he was a monster of this sort. This book addresses that more realistic and messy type of situation and helped ease some of the confusion I had struggled with for years.
Consent– it is the entire foundation for Hatvany’s latest novel. I can already tell this book will ruffle some feathers and bring up all kinds of discussion and controversy amongst it’s readers. The plot revolves around Amber and Tyler; Amber is the only “miracle” child of her over protective parents (I could easily relate to this being an only child myself and the product of 10 years of trying to conceive after being told having children might not happen for my parents). She’s been shouldering the weight of feeling like she must succeed in everything to make up for the lack of other children her parents were unable have. Tyler moves in next door and becomes the older brother Amber never had; together they help each other through some extremely dark times, and although Tyler has always harbored feelings of more than friendship for Amber, she has never seen him as anything more than a brother. Enter here the controversy of consent. Without spoiling the read, we come to a point many years later that stops the reader in their tracks to consider their own belief on where consent lies.
All in all, this is the type of story that crosses genre barriers and holds us accountable for our views and how we treat victims. While this is a story about the attack and it’s ripple effect of consequences, it’s also a story of hope and redemption. Is it possible for someone to commit an unthinkable act and change? Can healing take place between two parties when this level of violation has occurred? I love how this book didn’t make it easy for the reader; there are no clear cut answers or magical happy endings. The reality of the attack altering Amber’s life forever is something all victims can relate to; while it is possible to work through the side effects (anxiety, depression, fear, and self-loathing) with therapy and sometimes medication, there’s never a fix all cure that can take back that horrible event. This book did, however, present the right questions that we as a society need to consider as we continually see rape cases being paraded across the media in a trivial fashion. If you are looking for a book that will grab your heart and cause you to think about some really tough, but timely issues, I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of It Happens All the Time. Amy chose to limit the graphic violence and sexual scenes; the rape scene is really a very small portion but I believe this made the book all the more powerful and readable while being less showy for the shock value. This is a story that will stay with me for years to come; I’m so proud of the author for sharing via social media her own experience with being assaulted at a young age, her drive to help overcome the stigma surrounding rape, and encouraging the support of victims everywhere.
*Many thanks to the author and publisher for providing my copy and the platform so that I would have the ability to share my own experience.
**If you’ve been a victim of sexual assault, please don’t suffer alone. Reach out for help; secrets and trauma can only control you if kept alone and in the dark. I’ve included some national hotlines with resources to help victims of all kinds of sexual assault:
National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-4673 [24/7 hotline]
Self Injury Hotline
1-800-DON’T-CUT (366-8288)
Suicide Hotline
1.800.SUICIDE (784-2433)
May 2, 2018
My reviews can also be seen at:
https://deesradreadsandreviews.wordpr...
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME is my first read from Amy Hatvany. I'm surprised it's taken me this long to find her. I'm certainly looking forward to reading more from her after reading this novel.
This was an extremely engrossing read. It's an honest and unflinching look at some important issues that desperately need addressing.
Twenty-four-year-old Amber and Twenty-five year old Tyler are best friends. Both have had their own personal struggles, and they have been there for each other for many years, helping each other throughout some of the roughest times in their lives.
But one night everything changes for Amber and Tyler....their friendship and their lives will never be the same.
The very first sentence grabbed me and didn't let go. The story is told alternately from Amber and Tyler's perspectives. The chapters alternate following two timelines, the past and the present. With each chapter more information about the night in question and their history is unveiled.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME deals with many heavy issues. Amy Hatvany is a fantastic writer and draws from personal experience in regards to some of the things addressed in this novel. It's brutally honest, compelling, and almost impossible to put down. I think that many necessary conversations could and should be started about these issues. This truly was an excellent, emotional, and very important read.
Thank you Atria Books, and Amy Hatvany for providing an advanced readers copy of this book for me to read in exchange for my honest review.
https://deesradreadsandreviews.wordpr...
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME is my first read from Amy Hatvany. I'm surprised it's taken me this long to find her. I'm certainly looking forward to reading more from her after reading this novel.
This was an extremely engrossing read. It's an honest and unflinching look at some important issues that desperately need addressing.
Twenty-four-year-old Amber and Twenty-five year old Tyler are best friends. Both have had their own personal struggles, and they have been there for each other for many years, helping each other throughout some of the roughest times in their lives.
But one night everything changes for Amber and Tyler....their friendship and their lives will never be the same.
The very first sentence grabbed me and didn't let go. The story is told alternately from Amber and Tyler's perspectives. The chapters alternate following two timelines, the past and the present. With each chapter more information about the night in question and their history is unveiled.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME deals with many heavy issues. Amy Hatvany is a fantastic writer and draws from personal experience in regards to some of the things addressed in this novel. It's brutally honest, compelling, and almost impossible to put down. I think that many necessary conversations could and should be started about these issues. This truly was an excellent, emotional, and very important read.
Thank you Atria Books, and Amy Hatvany for providing an advanced readers copy of this book for me to read in exchange for my honest review.
April 17, 2017
There’s no doubt, regardless of your feelings for the topic at hand or the characters themselves, this is a thought-provoking read at its core. Amy Hatvany takes a bold step and strives to open a much-needed conversation with a story told not only from the perspective of a woman who gets raped, but from her rapist. Powerful in its prose, bringing light to the controversial topic of consent and victim blaming, it’s unwavering in its delivery. As a woman and a reader, I was a twisted knot of emotions, reflection and rivaling thoughts. How is it that situations like this one continue to happen, all around us, with no consequences?
Diminished self-worth, mental health issues and upbringing collide in a perfect storm of bad choices—a night that ends with a rape. It’s easy to fall into the victim blaming trap, to question—why was she acting that way? - why would she put herself in that situation? - what about her fiancé? - why didn’t she fight harder?—but, at the end of the day, is any of that an excuse for what Tyler did? Do any of those things negate the fact that Amber said no or told him to stop in the heat of the moment? Of course not. Not in the slightest.
What compounds Amber’s situation is the reality that the man who mars her outlook on life is none other than her best friend, Tyler. This is where things get a little tricky for me. Having read the synopsis, I knew exactly what I was in for and who was responsible. It might not be fair to say that alone tainted Tyler in my eyes, but it’s true. My headspace was so clouded with what was to come, there was no way I could make it through the chapters of Amber and Tyler as “best-friends” and not feel an underlying sense of disgust or hone in on his flaws. Forget trying to find something redeeming about him or trying to understand their connection because . . . I couldn’t. I don’t know if it was that blatant disregard I had for Tyler from the start or the matter-of-fact way the memories of him and Amber together were written, but I struggled to feel their friendship on a deeper level. There wasn’t enough emotion behind their shared scenes, for me. Not that that made what happened any easier to stomach.
One of the most difficult, but significant, things about this story is seeing the world through the eyes of a rapist. Not many authors have approached the topic from this side of the situation and I can understand why. Do you hit the reader over the head with the obvious conclusion, he’s a total dirt-bag, or even worse, try to garner sympathy for a rapist? In my opinion, Ms. Hatvany struck a happy medium. For me, watching Tyler justify his actions and struggle with his delusional thoughts surrounding Amber made my skin crawl, but it was also eye-opening, on some level. It was a reality check of sorts; a reminder that there are actual men walking around with this mindset and his father's twisted view of women. After everything, I’m sad to say, I’m not sure Tyler understood that what he did was wrong and more importantly why.
The ending is a bit dramatic, toeing the line of too happy territory, and punctuated by a glaringly hypocritical situation. Are Tyler’s actions a valid excuse for Amber’s? Why would one person tell the truth and not the other? Those are only two of the hundreds of questions that raced through my mind during this emotionally laden journey.
My decision to pick up a book is often influenced by several things. This time around, it was a heartfelt review written by my friend, Chelsea. If you haven’t had the chance to read her moving review, I urge you to check it out -->here. I applaud Chelsea and Amy Hatvany (be sure to check out her letter to the reader) for having the strength to share their experiences in the hopes that their words might help someone else and bring awareness to such a controversial issue.
*Thank you to Atria and NetGalley for a copy in exchange for an honest review.
Diminished self-worth, mental health issues and upbringing collide in a perfect storm of bad choices—a night that ends with a rape. It’s easy to fall into the victim blaming trap, to question—why was she acting that way? - why would she put herself in that situation? - what about her fiancé? - why didn’t she fight harder?—but, at the end of the day, is any of that an excuse for what Tyler did? Do any of those things negate the fact that Amber said no or told him to stop in the heat of the moment? Of course not. Not in the slightest.
What compounds Amber’s situation is the reality that the man who mars her outlook on life is none other than her best friend, Tyler. This is where things get a little tricky for me. Having read the synopsis, I knew exactly what I was in for and who was responsible. It might not be fair to say that alone tainted Tyler in my eyes, but it’s true. My headspace was so clouded with what was to come, there was no way I could make it through the chapters of Amber and Tyler as “best-friends” and not feel an underlying sense of disgust or hone in on his flaws. Forget trying to find something redeeming about him or trying to understand their connection because . . . I couldn’t. I don’t know if it was that blatant disregard I had for Tyler from the start or the matter-of-fact way the memories of him and Amber together were written, but I struggled to feel their friendship on a deeper level. There wasn’t enough emotion behind their shared scenes, for me. Not that that made what happened any easier to stomach.
One of the most difficult, but significant, things about this story is seeing the world through the eyes of a rapist. Not many authors have approached the topic from this side of the situation and I can understand why. Do you hit the reader over the head with the obvious conclusion, he’s a total dirt-bag, or even worse, try to garner sympathy for a rapist? In my opinion, Ms. Hatvany struck a happy medium. For me, watching Tyler justify his actions and struggle with his delusional thoughts surrounding Amber made my skin crawl, but it was also eye-opening, on some level. It was a reality check of sorts; a reminder that there are actual men walking around with this mindset and his father's twisted view of women. After everything, I’m sad to say, I’m not sure Tyler understood that what he did was wrong and more importantly why.
The ending is a bit dramatic, toeing the line of too happy territory, and punctuated by a glaringly hypocritical situation. Are Tyler’s actions a valid excuse for Amber’s? Why would one person tell the truth and not the other? Those are only two of the hundreds of questions that raced through my mind during this emotionally laden journey.
My decision to pick up a book is often influenced by several things. This time around, it was a heartfelt review written by my friend, Chelsea. If you haven’t had the chance to read her moving review, I urge you to check it out -->here. I applaud Chelsea and Amy Hatvany (be sure to check out her letter to the reader) for having the strength to share their experiences in the hopes that their words might help someone else and bring awareness to such a controversial issue.
*Thank you to Atria and NetGalley for a copy in exchange for an honest review.
May 2, 2017
4.5 Stars
Bold. Formidable. Raw. Visceral.
It Happens All The Time tackles a subject that is hard to write about. To be honest, I can barely form my thoughts about this book into words. I wish this didn’t happen all of the time. But if we are being honest, it does. And here, in this book, Amy Hatvany bravely brings this issue the forefront. A young woman, Amber, is raped by her best friend, Tyler, after having known him since she was a teenager. And he is the person she trust most in this world and she would never have imagined in a million years that he would harm her.
How does this happen? It happens because you never know anyone as well as you think you know them or rather, you never know what anyone is capable of. Amber and Tyler have been best friends for what seems like forever. They met when they were both teenagers and bonded instantly. Amber has only ever thought of Tyler as a friend, though Tyler has harbored romantic feelings for her for ages. Years go by and Amber returns home after College, engaged. Tyler is jealous but tries to hide it. Their relationship returns to normal however.. and one night they end up hanging out and having a little bit too much fun. One thing leads to another and Tyler and Amber start kissing and Tyler thinks that Amber is into him and he will finally get the girl. Amber however, changes her mind and tells Tyler to STOP and tries to push him away but he doesn’t listen. Tyler chooses and/or decides not to hear Ambers CRIES telling him to STOP and he ends up raping his best friend. THAT NIGHT changes the course of Amber’s life and their friendship forever.
It Happens All The Time is told from both Amber and Tyler’s perspectives. It switches time periods from before and after the incident and also provides a backstory into Amber and Tyler’s friendship, which I had a hard time buying into. I never felt that drawn into the characters' friendship before the rape occurred.. and I think that had to do with Tyler’s character. He was a womanizer from the get go (just like his father) and even trying to picture him as Amber described when they were kids, just didn’t jibe.
I admit I had a hard time with the character of Tyler. He frustrated the hell out of me. It never felt like he truly understood the ramifications of his actions (even in the end) or how much he really hurt his best friend or destroyed her life for that matter. It was always about him. Always. At times, I wanted to punch his lights out (and no, I am not a violent person). I get that Tyler never felt good enough for his father or for Amber, but I never comprehended that being the cause of his anxiety and frustration.
I liked the character of Amber, but I didn’t love her. She was somewhat aloof, before.. However, I completely drawn in by the sheer terror over what happened to her, how she reacted when confronted by Tyler.. how she changed and the actions she took to feel strong and powerful. The struggles she faced, the self-loathing and victim blaming and then the realization that it wasn’t her fault. Helping a victim come to terms with something like that… I can’t imagine how hard it is. And here, Amy Hatvany, describes Amber’s journey superbly. You can’t help but wonder how consent between acquaintances, friends, etc., is even an issue. Yet it is. And like the title of the book, It Happens All The Time. But it shouldn’t. Anyone should be able to change their minds at any moment. People need to be heard.
Amy Hatvany did an incredible job of writing a powerful story about the most unimaginable crime. Being raped and betrayed by your best friend – the person you trust most in this world. And then finding the STRENGTH to confront what happened, realize that it is not your fault and go on to try and pick up the pieces. Bravo Amy.
This novel honestly left me kind of shattered. Kind of like Hatvany’s Best Kept Secret. These things happens every day. And you wish they didn’t. All we can do is talk about them. Be brave and face them. To those of you who’ve gone through it. My heart breaks for you. Know that that I stand by and support you. And I hear you.
Published on Goodreads and Amazon on 5/2/17.
Bold. Formidable. Raw. Visceral.
It Happens All The Time tackles a subject that is hard to write about. To be honest, I can barely form my thoughts about this book into words. I wish this didn’t happen all of the time. But if we are being honest, it does. And here, in this book, Amy Hatvany bravely brings this issue the forefront. A young woman, Amber, is raped by her best friend, Tyler, after having known him since she was a teenager. And he is the person she trust most in this world and she would never have imagined in a million years that he would harm her.
How does this happen? It happens because you never know anyone as well as you think you know them or rather, you never know what anyone is capable of. Amber and Tyler have been best friends for what seems like forever. They met when they were both teenagers and bonded instantly. Amber has only ever thought of Tyler as a friend, though Tyler has harbored romantic feelings for her for ages. Years go by and Amber returns home after College, engaged. Tyler is jealous but tries to hide it. Their relationship returns to normal however.. and one night they end up hanging out and having a little bit too much fun. One thing leads to another and Tyler and Amber start kissing and Tyler thinks that Amber is into him and he will finally get the girl. Amber however, changes her mind and tells Tyler to STOP and tries to push him away but he doesn’t listen. Tyler chooses and/or decides not to hear Ambers CRIES telling him to STOP and he ends up raping his best friend. THAT NIGHT changes the course of Amber’s life and their friendship forever.
It Happens All The Time is told from both Amber and Tyler’s perspectives. It switches time periods from before and after the incident and also provides a backstory into Amber and Tyler’s friendship, which I had a hard time buying into. I never felt that drawn into the characters' friendship before the rape occurred.. and I think that had to do with Tyler’s character. He was a womanizer from the get go (just like his father) and even trying to picture him as Amber described when they were kids, just didn’t jibe.
I admit I had a hard time with the character of Tyler. He frustrated the hell out of me. It never felt like he truly understood the ramifications of his actions (even in the end) or how much he really hurt his best friend or destroyed her life for that matter. It was always about him. Always. At times, I wanted to punch his lights out (and no, I am not a violent person). I get that Tyler never felt good enough for his father or for Amber, but I never comprehended that being the cause of his anxiety and frustration.
I liked the character of Amber, but I didn’t love her. She was somewhat aloof, before.. However, I completely drawn in by the sheer terror over what happened to her, how she reacted when confronted by Tyler.. how she changed and the actions she took to feel strong and powerful. The struggles she faced, the self-loathing and victim blaming and then the realization that it wasn’t her fault. Helping a victim come to terms with something like that… I can’t imagine how hard it is. And here, Amy Hatvany, describes Amber’s journey superbly. You can’t help but wonder how consent between acquaintances, friends, etc., is even an issue. Yet it is. And like the title of the book, It Happens All The Time. But it shouldn’t. Anyone should be able to change their minds at any moment. People need to be heard.
Amy Hatvany did an incredible job of writing a powerful story about the most unimaginable crime. Being raped and betrayed by your best friend – the person you trust most in this world. And then finding the STRENGTH to confront what happened, realize that it is not your fault and go on to try and pick up the pieces. Bravo Amy.
This novel honestly left me kind of shattered. Kind of like Hatvany’s Best Kept Secret. These things happens every day. And you wish they didn’t. All we can do is talk about them. Be brave and face them. To those of you who’ve gone through it. My heart breaks for you. Know that that I stand by and support you. And I hear you.
Published on Goodreads and Amazon on 5/2/17.
August 14, 2018
Amber and Tyler are best friends and have seen each other through some hard times. They never really had friends outside one another but Tyler has always be in love with Amber who hasn't felt the same. Tyler tries to accept this and be happy for her, especially when she comes home engaged after graduating college. Yet as the two start spending more time together that summer Amber's feelings seem to be changing. Tyler once again hopes they will become more than just friends until one night they go to a party and things change between them for good.
I'm not sure if what I'm going to talk about counts as a spoiler because I've seen other reviews talk about it but if you don't want to know where the book goes just don't keep reading on from here. While I really do commend the author for what she was trying to do here I had a problem with the whole situation that wouldn't seem to resolve itself in my mind. If someone who is intoxicated can't give consent that how does what happen count as rape? I do feel like as the plot goes Tyler gets more and more in the wrong but it does feel like a double standard to say Amber couldn't consent because she was intoxicated but Tyler was intoxicated as well so how much responsibility does he bare for the whole situation. I really like when books bring up situations like this where things are ambiguous and I do think it's important to have books about these experiences I just had trouble buying that Tyler forced himself on Amber because of the way the plot had unfolded up to that point. It felt pretty out of left field and I just can't say I totally felt during the scene of that he was purposefully hurting her because he was intoxicated too. I know as we read on we find out he did hear her ask him to stop but I just can't buy that he heard her say that at the time and kept going just because of the fight with his father. It still was out of character for the way he had been portrayed and during the rape scene it was written as if he hadn't heard her and kept forcing her, it more seemed like he didn't register that she wanted to stop. I do think that the intentionality changes things. I'm not saying he was in the right but I just don't think I felt like he was so responsible that Amber needed to force him to turn himself in and that he should have to ruin his life for this. Also it was hard to sympathize with Amber doing that when she had a gun pointed at him the entire time, like you can't talk about morality when you yourself are doing something that's pretty ambiguous in terms of ethics.
Also at the end Amber claims she's never been free of the opinion of men but it never seemed like her eating order was about Tyler at all so that felt like a load of horse shit for why she needed to be single for a while. It made zero sense in the context of what we had been told. So while I did find the book well written and read all the way to the end eagerly I feel torn about the ideas presented here. I'm going to say this book was 3.5 stars for me, mostly for the inconsistencies in characterization for Tyler and Amber's moral superiority that she was completely in the right when the situation was so much less clear cut. I really wish that there had been some acknowledgement of the fact that Tyler too was intoxicated heavily and that his impaired ability should have warranted some more conversation about how much his actions really deserved to be punished.
I'm not sure if what I'm going to talk about counts as a spoiler because I've seen other reviews talk about it but if you don't want to know where the book goes just don't keep reading on from here. While I really do commend the author for what she was trying to do here I had a problem with the whole situation that wouldn't seem to resolve itself in my mind. If someone who is intoxicated can't give consent that how does what happen count as rape? I do feel like as the plot goes Tyler gets more and more in the wrong but it does feel like a double standard to say Amber couldn't consent because she was intoxicated but Tyler was intoxicated as well so how much responsibility does he bare for the whole situation. I really like when books bring up situations like this where things are ambiguous and I do think it's important to have books about these experiences I just had trouble buying that Tyler forced himself on Amber because of the way the plot had unfolded up to that point. It felt pretty out of left field and I just can't say I totally felt during the scene of that he was purposefully hurting her because he was intoxicated too. I know as we read on we find out he did hear her ask him to stop but I just can't buy that he heard her say that at the time and kept going just because of the fight with his father. It still was out of character for the way he had been portrayed and during the rape scene it was written as if he hadn't heard her and kept forcing her, it more seemed like he didn't register that she wanted to stop. I do think that the intentionality changes things. I'm not saying he was in the right but I just don't think I felt like he was so responsible that Amber needed to force him to turn himself in and that he should have to ruin his life for this. Also it was hard to sympathize with Amber doing that when she had a gun pointed at him the entire time, like you can't talk about morality when you yourself are doing something that's pretty ambiguous in terms of ethics.
Also at the end Amber claims she's never been free of the opinion of men but it never seemed like her eating order was about Tyler at all so that felt like a load of horse shit for why she needed to be single for a while. It made zero sense in the context of what we had been told. So while I did find the book well written and read all the way to the end eagerly I feel torn about the ideas presented here. I'm going to say this book was 3.5 stars for me, mostly for the inconsistencies in characterization for Tyler and Amber's moral superiority that she was completely in the right when the situation was so much less clear cut. I really wish that there had been some acknowledgement of the fact that Tyler too was intoxicated heavily and that his impaired ability should have warranted some more conversation about how much his actions really deserved to be punished.
March 29, 2017
For the subject matter alone and the attention brought to said subject, this book deserves a higher rating than that which I have given. So them why is my rating lower? So many reviewers are rating this higher and I once again find myself swimming upstream.
For the first part of the book I felt there was a decided lack of emotion, in telling of the beginning friendship of Tyler and Amber, Amber's medical and mental problems were quite significant, and yet I felt they were treated very matter of fact. What happens is terrible, horrific, a supreme betrayal of trust, I acknowledge this but Tyler, who supposedly loves her shows little effect. Doesn't seem distressed at all, just bugged me. I don't think there has been a character in recent fiction, well obviously the killers in my mysteries, that I have despised more than Tyler's father. He is all things I dislike in a person, male or female. Despicable, as a father and a man.
Didn't relate too well with any of the characters, found none of them very sympathetic. The ending, really? Well enough said, Hatvany's preface explains why she wrote this book about this subject and I feel for her, for all victims and as I said I applaud her for bringing attention to this subject, but for me as a story it didn't work.
ARC from publisher.
For the first part of the book I felt there was a decided lack of emotion, in telling of the beginning friendship of Tyler and Amber, Amber's medical and mental problems were quite significant, and yet I felt they were treated very matter of fact. What happens is terrible, horrific, a supreme betrayal of trust, I acknowledge this but Tyler, who supposedly loves her shows little effect. Doesn't seem distressed at all, just bugged me. I don't think there has been a character in recent fiction, well obviously the killers in my mysteries, that I have despised more than Tyler's father. He is all things I dislike in a person, male or female. Despicable, as a father and a man.
Didn't relate too well with any of the characters, found none of them very sympathetic. The ending, really? Well enough said, Hatvany's preface explains why she wrote this book about this subject and I feel for her, for all victims and as I said I applaud her for bringing attention to this subject, but for me as a story it didn't work.
ARC from publisher.
June 4, 2017
4.5 stars! This was an intense, thought-provoking novel. I was happy that I read this along with Brenda and Norma as it sparked a lot of deep conversation. Highly recommended!
To see our full Traveling Sister Read review, please visit Norma and Brenda's fabulous book blog at :
https://twogirlslostinacouleereading....
To see our full Traveling Sister Read review, please visit Norma and Brenda's fabulous book blog at :
https://twogirlslostinacouleereading....
May 31, 2017
Traveling Sisters Read Review by NORMA, BRENDA and LINDSAY
4.5 stars rounded up to 5
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME by AMY HATVANY is a formidable, compelling, thought-provoking, and a bold novel that explores the emotional side of a friendship torn apart after a tragic night spent drinking, leaving lives forever changed. Exploring the fallout and betrayal of trust between friends.
AMY HATVANY delivers a brutally honest portrayal here of a subject matter that is hard to talk about. The story unfolds in alternating points of view of our two main characters, Amber and Tyler, which added credibility to the story and forces us to see both sides of their stories. It switches time periods from before and after and gives us a backstory of their friendship which was somewhat confusing for us at the beginning until we understood the shifting time periods.
Amber and Tyler are complex and well-developed characters both with mental illnesses. AMY HATVANY does a really good job with exploring, addressing, and following through with their mental health which was a very satisfying aspect of the story for us.
There was one part of the story that we all found to be a little over the top and felt it was done to add a dramatic effect to the storyline but in our opinion it was unnecessary and boundering a little on hypocritical territory. There was definitely lots of conversing and questions raised over this aspect of the novel.
Overall, we all thoroughly enjoyed this novel and really enjoyed the conversation that developed over this extremely thought-provoking and emotional journey that this novel took us on. Highly recommended!
All of our Traveling Sister Reads Reviews can be found on our blog:
http://www.twogirlslostinacouleereadi...
4.5 stars rounded up to 5
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME by AMY HATVANY is a formidable, compelling, thought-provoking, and a bold novel that explores the emotional side of a friendship torn apart after a tragic night spent drinking, leaving lives forever changed. Exploring the fallout and betrayal of trust between friends.
AMY HATVANY delivers a brutally honest portrayal here of a subject matter that is hard to talk about. The story unfolds in alternating points of view of our two main characters, Amber and Tyler, which added credibility to the story and forces us to see both sides of their stories. It switches time periods from before and after and gives us a backstory of their friendship which was somewhat confusing for us at the beginning until we understood the shifting time periods.
Amber and Tyler are complex and well-developed characters both with mental illnesses. AMY HATVANY does a really good job with exploring, addressing, and following through with their mental health which was a very satisfying aspect of the story for us.
There was one part of the story that we all found to be a little over the top and felt it was done to add a dramatic effect to the storyline but in our opinion it was unnecessary and boundering a little on hypocritical territory. There was definitely lots of conversing and questions raised over this aspect of the novel.
Overall, we all thoroughly enjoyed this novel and really enjoyed the conversation that developed over this extremely thought-provoking and emotional journey that this novel took us on. Highly recommended!
All of our Traveling Sister Reads Reviews can be found on our blog:
http://www.twogirlslostinacouleereadi...
March 28, 2017
All of my reviews can be found on www.novelgossip.com
I have to start by wishing Amy the happiest of publication days today! This is such a poignant, timely, relevant read and one that is vitally important. This book is powerful, and it tackles uncomfortable and difficult subject matter, but one that society has ignored for far too long and I’m giving Amy a standing ovation today for being brave and strong enough to tackle the ugly truth behind rape.
Rape. Such an awful word, isn’t it? It conjures up pictures of masked assailants, strange perverts who get off on grabbing women from a dark alley or parking lot. I know this happens, and I’m not trying to trivialize it whatsoever, but did you know that seven out of ten rapes are committed by someone known to the victim? The danger isn’t necessarily lurking in the shadows, oftentimes it’s been invited into your home or it’s a loose acquaintance. Seven out of ten.
Amber and Tyler have been best friends for years, they have a fantastic relationship and are as close as siblings. Amber is the only child of over protective but extremely loving parents, and Tyler’s parents are divorced. His mom, Liz is best friends with Amber’s mom, Helen and they’ve even taken family vacations together. Tyler has always been there for Amber, she trusts him implicitly, until one night when everything goes to hell in a hand basket. Tyler rapes her and the impact shatters both of them as well as their families.
Hatvany tells the story from the perspective of both Amber and Tyler so you’re able to see what each of them are thinking and feeling which I found especially powerful. Amber struggles with self loathing, victim blaming, and constantly questions herself. When she said no was it too late? It’s never too late, and the concept of consent was handle so beautifully here. Does consent only need to be given once then it’s a free for all? No, most definitely not, if a woman (or a man) changes their mind at any point and says no or stop, things should end immediately. Hatvany expands on this and more in this thought provoking essay she wrote on The Conversations We’re Not Having With Our Sons. I highly recommend reading this, one of the things that stood out to me was that most parents have many discussions with their daughters about the importance of safety; don’t walk alone in the dark, don’t leave your drink unattended, etc. but are enough people having the so very important conversation with their sons about consent? How do young men know about this if it’s never talked about? That has to change, it really does.
I could go on for days about this book and it’s impact on me, but I’ll wrap things up. This was messy, real, raw, unflinchingly honest and heartbreaking, but in the end there was hope and a sense of healing. It was also beautiful, thought provoking, and utterly crucial, this book needs to be read, by anyone and everyone. I smell a giveaway coming, this is one where I’ll be pushing it on everyone I know, unapologetically.
I have to start by wishing Amy the happiest of publication days today! This is such a poignant, timely, relevant read and one that is vitally important. This book is powerful, and it tackles uncomfortable and difficult subject matter, but one that society has ignored for far too long and I’m giving Amy a standing ovation today for being brave and strong enough to tackle the ugly truth behind rape.
Rape. Such an awful word, isn’t it? It conjures up pictures of masked assailants, strange perverts who get off on grabbing women from a dark alley or parking lot. I know this happens, and I’m not trying to trivialize it whatsoever, but did you know that seven out of ten rapes are committed by someone known to the victim? The danger isn’t necessarily lurking in the shadows, oftentimes it’s been invited into your home or it’s a loose acquaintance. Seven out of ten.
Amber and Tyler have been best friends for years, they have a fantastic relationship and are as close as siblings. Amber is the only child of over protective but extremely loving parents, and Tyler’s parents are divorced. His mom, Liz is best friends with Amber’s mom, Helen and they’ve even taken family vacations together. Tyler has always been there for Amber, she trusts him implicitly, until one night when everything goes to hell in a hand basket. Tyler rapes her and the impact shatters both of them as well as their families.
Hatvany tells the story from the perspective of both Amber and Tyler so you’re able to see what each of them are thinking and feeling which I found especially powerful. Amber struggles with self loathing, victim blaming, and constantly questions herself. When she said no was it too late? It’s never too late, and the concept of consent was handle so beautifully here. Does consent only need to be given once then it’s a free for all? No, most definitely not, if a woman (or a man) changes their mind at any point and says no or stop, things should end immediately. Hatvany expands on this and more in this thought provoking essay she wrote on The Conversations We’re Not Having With Our Sons. I highly recommend reading this, one of the things that stood out to me was that most parents have many discussions with their daughters about the importance of safety; don’t walk alone in the dark, don’t leave your drink unattended, etc. but are enough people having the so very important conversation with their sons about consent? How do young men know about this if it’s never talked about? That has to change, it really does.
I could go on for days about this book and it’s impact on me, but I’ll wrap things up. This was messy, real, raw, unflinchingly honest and heartbreaking, but in the end there was hope and a sense of healing. It was also beautiful, thought provoking, and utterly crucial, this book needs to be read, by anyone and everyone. I smell a giveaway coming, this is one where I’ll be pushing it on everyone I know, unapologetically.
May 2, 2017
I need to get this review over with. I don't want to write it because I didn't like this book, despite the fact that it has personal meaning to me. According to RAINN, an American is sexually assaulted every 98 seconds. 90% of adult rape victims are female. Females ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.
Women ages 18-24 who are college students are 3 times more likely than women in general to experience sexual violence. Females of the same age who are not enrolled in college are 4 times more likely.
These statistics are staggering, depressing, terrifying, and likely vastly under reported. Our culture needs to change. This cannot continue. I applaud the author for tackling such a critical issue, and for attempting to show both sides of the story with an emphasis on consent. It is rarely discussed and so important. As a parent of two young children, a boy and a girl, it is my and husband's responsibility to not only model respectful behavior, but also teach it at every stage of their lives and consent is something that needs to be underscored and revisited.
My issues with this book were many, but mainly I found the characters to be very flat and with the exception of Mason and Tyler's father, they all seemed to be exactly the same. I felt they lacked depth and I found Tyler particularly poorly written. I didn't like the dialogue at all. The hypocritical ending undermined the story, but truthfully, by that point I was limping into the finish line. I did find the parts involving therapy to be well-written and I felt they imparted knowledge that could help others. I wish I felt differently about the book but to each and every survivor of sexual assault out there, I wish you peace, hope, strength, and continued healing.
Women ages 18-24 who are college students are 3 times more likely than women in general to experience sexual violence. Females of the same age who are not enrolled in college are 4 times more likely.
These statistics are staggering, depressing, terrifying, and likely vastly under reported. Our culture needs to change. This cannot continue. I applaud the author for tackling such a critical issue, and for attempting to show both sides of the story with an emphasis on consent. It is rarely discussed and so important. As a parent of two young children, a boy and a girl, it is my and husband's responsibility to not only model respectful behavior, but also teach it at every stage of their lives and consent is something that needs to be underscored and revisited.
My issues with this book were many, but mainly I found the characters to be very flat and with the exception of Mason and Tyler's father, they all seemed to be exactly the same. I felt they lacked depth and I found Tyler particularly poorly written. I didn't like the dialogue at all. The hypocritical ending undermined the story, but truthfully, by that point I was limping into the finish line. I did find the parts involving therapy to be well-written and I felt they imparted knowledge that could help others. I wish I felt differently about the book but to each and every survivor of sexual assault out there, I wish you peace, hope, strength, and continued healing.
May 31, 2017
4.5 stars
The perfect choice for another Traveling sister read with Norma and Lindsay.
Very thought provoking read that created some really good discussions for us.
All of our Traveling Sister Reads Reviews can be found on our blog:
http://www.twogirlslostinacouleereadi...
The perfect choice for another Traveling sister read with Norma and Lindsay.
Very thought provoking read that created some really good discussions for us.
All of our Traveling Sister Reads Reviews can be found on our blog:
http://www.twogirlslostinacouleereadi...
August 11, 2017
What a compelling read. Unfortunately, this story is an all too familiar reality for many women all over the world. Tyler and Amber have been best friends for many, many years. Tyler wants Amber in more than just a platonic way, but Amber does not reciprocate those feelings. In fact, Amber is engaged and Amber only views Tyler as a best friend, nothing else. One night, fueled by alcohol, Amber kisses Tyler at a party. Tyler takes that as an invitation to advance their relationship to the next level. Then, on that one fateful night, everything changes.
The first half of this book was a little bit slow for me, hence the four star rating. However, the second half I just couldn't tear my eyes away from, more than making up for the first half. This would be a great book to read for a book club. I could see this book sparking a lot of interesting discussion and debate. Amy Hatvany does not disappoint. 4.5/5
The first half of this book was a little bit slow for me, hence the four star rating. However, the second half I just couldn't tear my eyes away from, more than making up for the first half. This would be a great book to read for a book club. I could see this book sparking a lot of interesting discussion and debate. Amy Hatvany does not disappoint. 4.5/5
Read
September 19, 2017It Happens All the Time is a book that discusses aspects of consent in sexual situations. The author has written alternating perspectives through both Amber: the girl who wanted to stop and Tyler: the boy who didn't. Intoxication along with a whole lot of internal issues were involved that created blurred lines. It Happens All the Time shows both sides of the coin in terms of verbal and nonverbal consent as well as the withdrawal of consent.
I didn't enjoy this book for a number of reasons. I didn't like the characters, the entire story line was very uncomfortable for me to read, it was a bit drawn out in my opinion... and I found myself falling into that victim-blaming/rationalizing it away mentality for a few minutes and I hate myself for it. Whether I liked Amber or not, she was raped and now I know just how easy it is for someone outside of a sexual assault to cast judgment and doubt. So I leave this reading experience guilty of a mindset I have spent years helping survivors and perpetrators alike to recognize. Rape culture is real.
Note: I felt strongly to keep my reading experience unrated on goodreads. It Happens All the Time will spark an internal experience for each reader. I didn't like my personal experience at all but I am certain I will grow from it. There is incredible value in that.
My favorite quote:
“I thought about Liz, that however nice she might be, she was also way more concerned with getting her own needs met than with meeting Tyler's, or teaching him anything about what a healthy relationship should look like. I was certain that neither of them had ever had a conversation with Tyler about how not to rape a woman – if they had, he definitely would have told me about it. I doubted that there were many parents out there who had this kind of conversation with their sons, the same way girls are talked to about not walking alone to their cars at night, or how to not dress “suggestively” when they go out so men won't get the “wrong idea.”
I didn't enjoy this book for a number of reasons. I didn't like the characters, the entire story line was very uncomfortable for me to read, it was a bit drawn out in my opinion... and I found myself falling into that victim-blaming/rationalizing it away mentality for a few minutes and I hate myself for it. Whether I liked Amber or not, she was raped and now I know just how easy it is for someone outside of a sexual assault to cast judgment and doubt. So I leave this reading experience guilty of a mindset I have spent years helping survivors and perpetrators alike to recognize. Rape culture is real.
Note: I felt strongly to keep my reading experience unrated on goodreads. It Happens All the Time will spark an internal experience for each reader. I didn't like my personal experience at all but I am certain I will grow from it. There is incredible value in that.
My favorite quote:
“I thought about Liz, that however nice she might be, she was also way more concerned with getting her own needs met than with meeting Tyler's, or teaching him anything about what a healthy relationship should look like. I was certain that neither of them had ever had a conversation with Tyler about how not to rape a woman – if they had, he definitely would have told me about it. I doubted that there were many parents out there who had this kind of conversation with their sons, the same way girls are talked to about not walking alone to their cars at night, or how to not dress “suggestively” when they go out so men won't get the “wrong idea.”
March 28, 2017
One of my all-time favorite authors, Amy Hatvany returns following Somewhere Out There (2016) with her most emotional and timely book yet: IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME — an exploration into two different experiences of rape.
View the author's powerful video. Author, wife, mother, friend, rape survivor.
A girl. A guy. Childhood friends. Consent. Rape. Their families. A tragedy which changes everything. A desperate need for justice and revenge.
There is one thing (well, more than one) you can come to expect from Amy Hatvany: She is not afraid to tackle tough issues of the heart, with honesty and superbly researched topics —critical for today’s contemporary woman, no matter the age.
Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks have grown up together. Best friends from an early age through teen years. Their parents were friends. Ty comes from and abusive father. The Bryants took Ty and his mom under their wing and have always included them in family activities.
Amber has had food and self-esteem issues throughout her life. Tyler battles his self-esteem issues with his father. Amber always thinking she is fat, to the point she almost lost her life. It is a topic her parents to this day are sensitive about when they note her eating habits.
Tyler has always been her very best friend. He has always been in love with her. The feeling has not been mutual. From Amber’s side, it is more friendship, not love. Now Amber has graduated from college and is engaged to be married. She returns home to visit with her family and runs into Tyler. Tyler stayed in town and become a local paramedic.
Both Amber and Tyler are experiencing things in their own individual lives. Both are troubled in different ways. Even though Amber is engaged to med student Daniel, Tyler is excited to have his old friend back in town. Deep down he always hopes he has a shot. Amber starts second guessing her decision to get married.
They go out and have too much to drink, which leads to a sexual encounter. Things get out of control and Amber says, “no.” Tyler does not stop. This devastating experience changes the dynamics of this couple and everyone close to them, including their family, forever.
Hatvany explores both sides of the story, combined with her own raw emotion and personal tragedy. A sense of powerlessness and self-destruction behavior.
Amber doubts herself. How could this have happened? Her best friend. How could not remember the events and how they unfolded? What happened to consent? She soon becomes obsessed with taking the matter into her own hands. She will force him into admitting what he had done. Was he more like his dad than he wanted to admit?
The characters grapple with themselves as well as one another. Exploring healthy and unhealthy ways people respond to and recover from trauma, including revenge, therapy, obsession, denial, eating disorders, drug abuse, sex, support groups, social withdrawal, exercise, legal action, and violence.
A compelling look at a topic of rape; which is brushed under the radar more often than we may expect. Especially when the victim knows the other party.
Furthermore, when the parents are friends and the person is someone you have trusted your entire life, and now has betrayed you. Shattered lives. Someone will have to pay for the injustice.
Often the law fails the victim. More than one will have to possess the courage to step up and admit their mistakes and be prepared for the consequences. When events are not always black and white. Moral lines are crossed.
Powerful storytelling. Emotionally gripping. Struggling with the aftermath of rape, and domestic violence.
For fans of Diane Chamberlain, Heather Gudenkauf, Jodi Picoult, Liane Moriarty, Jennifer Weiner, and Sarah Pekkanen. An ideal choice for book clubs and further discussions. Another winner by Hatvany!
On a side note: When posting a review, I often link to the previous book, read by the author. However, when I scrolled back to reference all the books I have read by Hatvany, I noticed each book was a "5-star rating!" How often does an author deliver consistent quality, high-charged absorbing and timely issues?
It is rare. Why I wanted to include all the book reviews here by the author, for those of you which may be new to Amy Hatvany. An author you will soon move to the "top" of your favorite author list. Each book one is uniquely different with a critical takeaway message.
2011 Best Kept Secret
2012 The Language of Secrets
2012 Outside the Lines
2013 Heart Like Mine
2014 Safe With Me
2016 Somewhere Out There
A special thank you to Atria and NetGalley for an early reading copy. Stunning cover. Would make a great movie.
JDCMustReadBooks
View the author's powerful video. Author, wife, mother, friend, rape survivor.
A girl. A guy. Childhood friends. Consent. Rape. Their families. A tragedy which changes everything. A desperate need for justice and revenge.
There is one thing (well, more than one) you can come to expect from Amy Hatvany: She is not afraid to tackle tough issues of the heart, with honesty and superbly researched topics —critical for today’s contemporary woman, no matter the age.
Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks have grown up together. Best friends from an early age through teen years. Their parents were friends. Ty comes from and abusive father. The Bryants took Ty and his mom under their wing and have always included them in family activities.
Amber has had food and self-esteem issues throughout her life. Tyler battles his self-esteem issues with his father. Amber always thinking she is fat, to the point she almost lost her life. It is a topic her parents to this day are sensitive about when they note her eating habits.
Tyler has always been her very best friend. He has always been in love with her. The feeling has not been mutual. From Amber’s side, it is more friendship, not love. Now Amber has graduated from college and is engaged to be married. She returns home to visit with her family and runs into Tyler. Tyler stayed in town and become a local paramedic.
Both Amber and Tyler are experiencing things in their own individual lives. Both are troubled in different ways. Even though Amber is engaged to med student Daniel, Tyler is excited to have his old friend back in town. Deep down he always hopes he has a shot. Amber starts second guessing her decision to get married.
They go out and have too much to drink, which leads to a sexual encounter. Things get out of control and Amber says, “no.” Tyler does not stop. This devastating experience changes the dynamics of this couple and everyone close to them, including their family, forever.
Hatvany explores both sides of the story, combined with her own raw emotion and personal tragedy. A sense of powerlessness and self-destruction behavior.
Amber doubts herself. How could this have happened? Her best friend. How could not remember the events and how they unfolded? What happened to consent? She soon becomes obsessed with taking the matter into her own hands. She will force him into admitting what he had done. Was he more like his dad than he wanted to admit?
The characters grapple with themselves as well as one another. Exploring healthy and unhealthy ways people respond to and recover from trauma, including revenge, therapy, obsession, denial, eating disorders, drug abuse, sex, support groups, social withdrawal, exercise, legal action, and violence.
A compelling look at a topic of rape; which is brushed under the radar more often than we may expect. Especially when the victim knows the other party.
Furthermore, when the parents are friends and the person is someone you have trusted your entire life, and now has betrayed you. Shattered lives. Someone will have to pay for the injustice.
Often the law fails the victim. More than one will have to possess the courage to step up and admit their mistakes and be prepared for the consequences. When events are not always black and white. Moral lines are crossed.
Powerful storytelling. Emotionally gripping. Struggling with the aftermath of rape, and domestic violence.
For fans of Diane Chamberlain, Heather Gudenkauf, Jodi Picoult, Liane Moriarty, Jennifer Weiner, and Sarah Pekkanen. An ideal choice for book clubs and further discussions. Another winner by Hatvany!
On a side note: When posting a review, I often link to the previous book, read by the author. However, when I scrolled back to reference all the books I have read by Hatvany, I noticed each book was a "5-star rating!" How often does an author deliver consistent quality, high-charged absorbing and timely issues?
It is rare. Why I wanted to include all the book reviews here by the author, for those of you which may be new to Amy Hatvany. An author you will soon move to the "top" of your favorite author list. Each book one is uniquely different with a critical takeaway message.
2011 Best Kept Secret
2012 The Language of Secrets
2012 Outside the Lines
2013 Heart Like Mine
2014 Safe With Me
2016 Somewhere Out There
A special thank you to Atria and NetGalley for an early reading copy. Stunning cover. Would make a great movie.
JDCMustReadBooks
April 2, 2017
It Happens All The Time
Amy Hatvany
Amber and Tyler have been best friends since they were kids. Now Amber is engaged to Daniel and Tyler is struggling to keep his feelings in check. Tyler has been in love with Amber since he was thirteen. Sure Amber loves Tyler too, but only as a best friend. She knows that Tyler loves her but she has no idea just how much. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME is going to rip your heart out and shred it. What a heart breaking story that stayed with me long after I finished reading.
Over the summer, with Daniel away in Seattle, Tyler and Amber go to a party. After a night of drinking and flirting they wind up in the house in one of the bedrooms. Amber knows what she is doing is wrong. She is engaged to Daniel and shouldn't be kissing Tyler, but she can't seem to stop. Then after a moment of clarity she tells Tyler to stop and he doesn't. He rapes her while she is laying there crying. It is as if he can't hear her. Afterwards, as expected she is a hot mess and totally freaks out. She manages to get away and has Tyler's friend take her home. Her life is never going to be the same and at first, she tries to hide what happens. She is afraid it will look like she was asking for it and maybe it is all her fault. Poor Amber, she broke my heart over and over again.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME is the first book I've read by Amy Hatvany but it surely won't be the last. Amy pulled me right in from the very first page, shredded my heart along the way, and never let me go. This is a very hard story to read but I think it's one that needs to be discussed. How fast society blames the victim, is truly upsetting and wrong. It has nothing to do with what the victim was wearing or how they were acting! No means no! Binge drinking and rape is always in the news and IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. Please, if you are a parent, read this book and discuss it with your kids. Make your kids read it! This doesn't need to keep happening. Teach your kids what is right and wrong. Once I started reading, I could not put this book down. I had to know what was going to happen to Amber and Tyler and once you start reading, you will know exactly what I mean!
Amy Hatvany
Amber and Tyler have been best friends since they were kids. Now Amber is engaged to Daniel and Tyler is struggling to keep his feelings in check. Tyler has been in love with Amber since he was thirteen. Sure Amber loves Tyler too, but only as a best friend. She knows that Tyler loves her but she has no idea just how much. IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME is going to rip your heart out and shred it. What a heart breaking story that stayed with me long after I finished reading.
Over the summer, with Daniel away in Seattle, Tyler and Amber go to a party. After a night of drinking and flirting they wind up in the house in one of the bedrooms. Amber knows what she is doing is wrong. She is engaged to Daniel and shouldn't be kissing Tyler, but she can't seem to stop. Then after a moment of clarity she tells Tyler to stop and he doesn't. He rapes her while she is laying there crying. It is as if he can't hear her. Afterwards, as expected she is a hot mess and totally freaks out. She manages to get away and has Tyler's friend take her home. Her life is never going to be the same and at first, she tries to hide what happens. She is afraid it will look like she was asking for it and maybe it is all her fault. Poor Amber, she broke my heart over and over again.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME is the first book I've read by Amy Hatvany but it surely won't be the last. Amy pulled me right in from the very first page, shredded my heart along the way, and never let me go. This is a very hard story to read but I think it's one that needs to be discussed. How fast society blames the victim, is truly upsetting and wrong. It has nothing to do with what the victim was wearing or how they were acting! No means no! Binge drinking and rape is always in the news and IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. Please, if you are a parent, read this book and discuss it with your kids. Make your kids read it! This doesn't need to keep happening. Teach your kids what is right and wrong. Once I started reading, I could not put this book down. I had to know what was going to happen to Amber and Tyler and once you start reading, you will know exactly what I mean!
October 19, 2017
Angry! Upset! Disappointed! This book did me wrong!!! Shame on it for immediately sucking me in and making me get all the “feels”. Lol.
March 27, 2017
Thank you Atria Books for sending me an ARC!
This book is very heavy, and brutally honest. This book follows a pair of best friends named Amber and Tyler. Tyler has been in love with Amber since they were thirteen years old, but they've only ever been best friends, and Amber is engaged to this guy named Daniel. Then one drunken night, Tyler rapes Amber, and her whole world is shattered into a million pieces.
This book has a lot to say about our society and rape culture and the way we tend to blame the victim. It's very eye-opening and powerful to read from the perspective of a rape victim, and it's so fucking awful that her best friend (someone she trusts more than anyone) is the one raping her in this book. It's brutally honest and terribly sad though, because this happens so often in our world, unfortunately. I loved the message this sends about speaking up when something like this happens to you, and it shows in a very real and honest way the negative lasting impressions something like this will have on your life forever. I cried more than once, mostly because it was written so graphically and it was hard for my heart to handle it. Warning: this book not only has rape but the main character also deals with a eating disorder.
The writing itself in this book is really good, it's the first book I've ever read form this author, but it certainly won't be my last. The only negative thing I have to say about the writing style is that sometimes in the beginning, there are flashbacks of Amber and Tyler's childhood sprinkled throughout the narrative, but at times the timeline was confusing because it jumped back and forth between flashbacks and real time. Also, it's told from Amber and Tyler's POV's but they both have very similar voices and I found it hard to tell the difference between them two. I enjoyed reading about Tyler's job as a paramedic, I find that job fascinating so I enjoyed getting to read about it in this book. Also, his co-worker and paramedic partner Mason is possibly my favorite character in the book. Tyler's Father, however, is easily my least favorite character in the book and he pissed me off so much. He is exactly what is wrong with the world.
Also, I just wanted to mention that I think it's epic that this book takes place in Bellingham, Washington because that is where I live which is so cool. I've never read a book that takes place in the city I love in before and I thought it was epic how there were so many places and streets mentioned in this book that I go to and drove on every single day! Really cool. (I also know this author graduated form Western Washington University, which is where I will be transferring to this Fall, so that is also very cool.)
Overall, this story is very powerful, and it made me emotional at times with how sad this situation is. I think I mostly cried thinking of how real and nonfiction this book really is. This happens all the time in our society and it's fucking terrible.
This book is very heavy, and brutally honest. This book follows a pair of best friends named Amber and Tyler. Tyler has been in love with Amber since they were thirteen years old, but they've only ever been best friends, and Amber is engaged to this guy named Daniel. Then one drunken night, Tyler rapes Amber, and her whole world is shattered into a million pieces.
This book has a lot to say about our society and rape culture and the way we tend to blame the victim. It's very eye-opening and powerful to read from the perspective of a rape victim, and it's so fucking awful that her best friend (someone she trusts more than anyone) is the one raping her in this book. It's brutally honest and terribly sad though, because this happens so often in our world, unfortunately. I loved the message this sends about speaking up when something like this happens to you, and it shows in a very real and honest way the negative lasting impressions something like this will have on your life forever. I cried more than once, mostly because it was written so graphically and it was hard for my heart to handle it. Warning: this book not only has rape but the main character also deals with a eating disorder.
The writing itself in this book is really good, it's the first book I've ever read form this author, but it certainly won't be my last. The only negative thing I have to say about the writing style is that sometimes in the beginning, there are flashbacks of Amber and Tyler's childhood sprinkled throughout the narrative, but at times the timeline was confusing because it jumped back and forth between flashbacks and real time. Also, it's told from Amber and Tyler's POV's but they both have very similar voices and I found it hard to tell the difference between them two. I enjoyed reading about Tyler's job as a paramedic, I find that job fascinating so I enjoyed getting to read about it in this book. Also, his co-worker and paramedic partner Mason is possibly my favorite character in the book. Tyler's Father, however, is easily my least favorite character in the book and he pissed me off so much. He is exactly what is wrong with the world.
Also, I just wanted to mention that I think it's epic that this book takes place in Bellingham, Washington because that is where I live which is so cool. I've never read a book that takes place in the city I love in before and I thought it was epic how there were so many places and streets mentioned in this book that I go to and drove on every single day! Really cool. (I also know this author graduated form Western Washington University, which is where I will be transferring to this Fall, so that is also very cool.)
Overall, this story is very powerful, and it made me emotional at times with how sad this situation is. I think I mostly cried thinking of how real and nonfiction this book really is. This happens all the time in our society and it's fucking terrible.
June 3, 2017
I am sorry if my thoughts on this book offend an rape survivor but this book created some strong emotions in me and I felt really unsettled and unsatisfied with this book's ending. I get that the author was tackling a sensitive subject but I didn't quite agree with certain things. I needed time to reflect so I can write my review with sensitivity, yet honesty. I do not feel like I can be honest without victimizing people who have already been brutalized. So I will keep my words brief.
The book starts off with a history of how young Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks became friends complete with their various family dysfunction. I believe the author was trying to lay foundation of what drove Amber and Tyler. This background led me to connect with Tyler and not so much with Amber. There were a lot of things that rubbed me the wrong. First I want to start off by saying Rape is just a horrible crime. I am not interested in victim blaming or justifications, however I do believe alcohol abuse does change the situation. I am not blaming Amber at all, but I am saying that Tyler wasn't in a clear frame of mind to be making sure he "got" consent first. In addition, I do not agree that Tyler, whom the author had painted as a nice friend, just turned into a this monster so fast and the reader is to believe that he would take advice for a father whom he has despised just so he can avoid dealing with devastation his actions wrought. I do love that Amber talked to both her parents and they stood by her. The fact that they embraced her immediately and validated her was everything. Her parents seemed to be really good parents unlike Tyler's parents.
I didn't like the hypocrisy in the end with Amber committing a crime, but it's viewed with "understanding" and it's okay that Tyler covered her actions up because I guess Tyler owes Amber for his part in hurting her.
At the end of the day, I hope all rape victims get counseling and have a support for their healing. .This book was hard to review but it make me examine my own beliefs on the topic. I hope to learn more about how to help victims.
*Special Thanks to Atria Books via NetGalley for the e-book given in exhcnage for a honest pric
The book starts off with a history of how young Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks became friends complete with their various family dysfunction. I believe the author was trying to lay foundation of what drove Amber and Tyler. This background led me to connect with Tyler and not so much with Amber. There were a lot of things that rubbed me the wrong. First I want to start off by saying Rape is just a horrible crime. I am not interested in victim blaming or justifications, however I do believe alcohol abuse does change the situation. I am not blaming Amber at all, but I am saying that Tyler wasn't in a clear frame of mind to be making sure he "got" consent first. In addition, I do not agree that Tyler, whom the author had painted as a nice friend, just turned into a this monster so fast and the reader is to believe that he would take advice for a father whom he has despised just so he can avoid dealing with devastation his actions wrought. I do love that Amber talked to both her parents and they stood by her. The fact that they embraced her immediately and validated her was everything. Her parents seemed to be really good parents unlike Tyler's parents.
I didn't like the hypocrisy in the end with Amber committing a crime, but it's viewed with "understanding" and it's okay that Tyler covered her actions up because I guess Tyler owes Amber for his part in hurting her.
At the end of the day, I hope all rape victims get counseling and have a support for their healing. .This book was hard to review but it make me examine my own beliefs on the topic. I hope to learn more about how to help victims.
*Special Thanks to Atria Books via NetGalley for the e-book given in exhcnage for a honest pric
April 9, 2017
“Amber kisses Tyler and what happens next will change them forever.” These words in the book’s summary grabbed me but made me uncomfortable. Rightly so. This was not an easy book to read. In fact, it was heartbreaking and brought back upsetting memories of my experience back in the 70’s as a teen. I commend Amy, who herself is a survivor of sexual assault, for the courage to write this book and start a conversation about victims’ rights. She writes a memorable story which will solicit strong emotion from most readers, I suspect. As far as I know, we haven’t made much progress since the 70’s in the US, rape victims continue to be afraid to turn to the criminal justice system for fear of being second guessed or ridiculed. We can do better.
September 14, 2017
To say the least this is a hard book to review because of the subject matter. That being said, I thought that this book was going to be so much better than it actually turned out being, for me anyway. This is the first time I've read any of Amy's books and while I was disappointed at the end of this read, I will say I did still enjoy the way she writes and will still go and read the rest of her books at some point. I guess the main reason I did not overly enjoy this book is because I absolutely hated the main characters!
This book is about rape, but in the sense that it happens, more than we know between people who are already acquainted and most of the time even already friends. This was somewhat revealing to me because whenever I think of rape, I think of a stranger drugging an innocent person at a club/party, definitely not always the case! Of course when you read about a rape you are going to expect hating the Rapist, which I really did, but surprisingly I found myself hating the victim! The book was told from two different perspectives, the rapist and the victim. The victim struggled with anorexia all throughout her life, which made her very hard for me to relate to. Some of the things that she did to cope with the pain she had on the inside were just simply idiotic! Basically I just felt like she was a foolish, stubborn and annoying character! Normally having at least one character that is unlikable is OK but reading a book with nothing but unlikable characters really got on my nerves! With that being said I also felt like there was a big chunk of the story that was left out or not even developed, I don't know what exactly I felt was missing but I felt like there could have been more to this story or the development of the characters possibly. In summary I would say this is a good book to check out at the library or if you can get it for free/borrow it go ahead but if you go out and buy the hardback and spend $30 on it you may be a bit disappointed, at least I was, for the most part anyway. :-/
This book is about rape, but in the sense that it happens, more than we know between people who are already acquainted and most of the time even already friends. This was somewhat revealing to me because whenever I think of rape, I think of a stranger drugging an innocent person at a club/party, definitely not always the case! Of course when you read about a rape you are going to expect hating the Rapist, which I really did, but surprisingly I found myself hating the victim! The book was told from two different perspectives, the rapist and the victim. The victim struggled with anorexia all throughout her life, which made her very hard for me to relate to. Some of the things that she did to cope with the pain she had on the inside were just simply idiotic! Basically I just felt like she was a foolish, stubborn and annoying character! Normally having at least one character that is unlikable is OK but reading a book with nothing but unlikable characters really got on my nerves! With that being said I also felt like there was a big chunk of the story that was left out or not even developed, I don't know what exactly I felt was missing but I felt like there could have been more to this story or the development of the characters possibly. In summary I would say this is a good book to check out at the library or if you can get it for free/borrow it go ahead but if you go out and buy the hardback and spend $30 on it you may be a bit disappointed, at least I was, for the most part anyway. :-/
September 17, 2020
This book absolutely breaks my heart.
“There are some wounds unreachable by words,
some sins immune to apology.”
This is one of the hardest reviews to write because I feel like this has actually happened and it probably has actually happened to many women across the world. rape is a real thing. It isn't just a scary story to tell your children.
This book can get graphic and it probably has some triggers for people who have been through similar situations. I would read it at your own risk. As for everyone else, you need to read this book because it brings to light so many things that people say are "in the grey area" but are completely and utterly in the black and white situation. Consent is not in a grey area. Yes or No. White or Black.
I don't even think this is going to be a review on this book at this point, but I am going to try my absolute best to make it more about the book. We have two points of view: Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks. The two of them go way back and are family friends and more importantly best friends.
Amber used to have a huge eating disorder (whole other topic I wish I could dive into) (and also, this book portrays that excellently [coming from someone who would know]) and has a dream of helping athletes and training them to be their best. Tyler is a parametric and just wants to be able to help people.
Tyler also "knows" Amber is his soulmate and doesn't know why she is engaged to someone who is not him, but he keeps quiet because he would rather have her in his life than not have her at all.
“I want to rewind the clock, take back the night when the world shattered. I want to erase everything that went wrong.”
Amber starts to see Tyler with different eyes and on the Fourth of July at a party, starts to flirt with him and makes a move. Tyler, who has problems containing his anxiety, is beyond ready to grab this moment and show Amber he is the one for her.
But what about when she wants to stop? When she comes to her senses? When she wants to leave? When she doesn't want to go any further? When she says no?
“The world is full of seemingly nice guys who assault women.
Guys who don't have healthy attitudes about women and sex in general,
who see sex as something they are entitled to,
who hurt women and don't even know they are doing
it because we don't educate our young men on
how not to become rapists.”
I know what it feels like to have someone take over your control and you feel worthless. This book... portrays the after effects on both sides of the equation. Of a guy who didn't think he did anything wrong and a girl who deals with the pieces left after the night that changed her life forever. It isn't for the light-hearted. But I do believe it is a book that everyone needs to read eventually.
“There are some wounds unreachable by words,
some sins immune to apology.”
This is one of the hardest reviews to write because I feel like this has actually happened and it probably has actually happened to many women across the world. rape is a real thing. It isn't just a scary story to tell your children.
This book can get graphic and it probably has some triggers for people who have been through similar situations. I would read it at your own risk. As for everyone else, you need to read this book because it brings to light so many things that people say are "in the grey area" but are completely and utterly in the black and white situation. Consent is not in a grey area. Yes or No. White or Black.
I don't even think this is going to be a review on this book at this point, but I am going to try my absolute best to make it more about the book. We have two points of view: Amber Bryant and Tyler Hicks. The two of them go way back and are family friends and more importantly best friends.
Amber used to have a huge eating disorder (whole other topic I wish I could dive into) (and also, this book portrays that excellently [coming from someone who would know]) and has a dream of helping athletes and training them to be their best. Tyler is a parametric and just wants to be able to help people.
Tyler also "knows" Amber is his soulmate and doesn't know why she is engaged to someone who is not him, but he keeps quiet because he would rather have her in his life than not have her at all.
“I want to rewind the clock, take back the night when the world shattered. I want to erase everything that went wrong.”
Amber starts to see Tyler with different eyes and on the Fourth of July at a party, starts to flirt with him and makes a move. Tyler, who has problems containing his anxiety, is beyond ready to grab this moment and show Amber he is the one for her.
But what about when she wants to stop? When she comes to her senses? When she wants to leave? When she doesn't want to go any further? When she says no?
“The world is full of seemingly nice guys who assault women.
Guys who don't have healthy attitudes about women and sex in general,
who see sex as something they are entitled to,
who hurt women and don't even know they are doing
it because we don't educate our young men on
how not to become rapists.”
I know what it feels like to have someone take over your control and you feel worthless. This book... portrays the after effects on both sides of the equation. Of a guy who didn't think he did anything wrong and a girl who deals with the pieces left after the night that changed her life forever. It isn't for the light-hearted. But I do believe it is a book that everyone needs to read eventually.
November 13, 2018
The message is important and should be read/discussed/thought about from everyone. BUT I didn’t like the book as much as I expected to, even with the easy and good writing.
Essentially this just made me sad. And that caught me off guard. I just did not expect that I would felt this bad for him. But I did....
I have never read anything but this author before this but I do like her writing.
rating:★★½
Essentially this just made me sad. And that caught me off guard. I just did not expect that I would felt this bad for him. But I did....
I have never read anything but this author before this but I do like her writing.
rating:★★½
May 21, 2017
After reading a couple of Hatvany's works earlier this year, I was looking forward to having my library hold come through for IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. I was impressed by her ability to pen intense, emotional tales with hard-hitting subjects & expected this one to be no different. Unfortunately, the feeling of being severely underwhelmed was the only thing I was left with by the last turned page. Perhaps it was because I couldn't connect with any of the characters, unlike in her prior books when I could empathize with the pain of the MCs, as well as finding them likable to a degree. Now especially considering the theme of this book- rape- I wish I could have said I had the same type of emotional experience as OUTSIDE THE LINES & SAFE WITH ME, but I didn't. Honestly, it just felt distant & with a book dealing with that kind of topic & not being able to make that same connection was admittedly a bit disappointing.
I've tried to pin it down to a specific attribute of Amber & Tyler & why I couldn't bring myself to truly care about either of them outside of what happened between them. Maybe it's because of Tyler never truly believing he did anything wrong, only changing his tune when drastic measures are called to action. That shouldn't have had to happen. I also couldn't stand his father & the fact that he basically got off scot-free without a second thought really pissed me off. Amber, as much as I feel for any survivor (I'm a survivor myself), she just rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not in the position of knowing what it's like to recover from an eating disorder & I'm not judging, however I was never really engaged in her life, save for wanting her to get the justice she deserved. Perhaps this makes me seem cold, but I'll be frank. Just because a book is written involving horrific events that happen too often (& yes I agree more discussions should occur, which is a reason why I am thankful for this book), doesn't automatically make me give it 5*, doesn't automatically make me drop my drawers & swear up & down that it's automatically going to be recommended. In all honesty, I didn't care for HAPPENS that much. I wish there were other books I could recommend instead dealing with a friendship that becomes betrayed because one of the individuals didn't listen when the other one said stop. I wish this didn't happen so much that I'd say it's "just fiction" & it "just depends on your cup-of-tea whether or not you read this". But it isn't. Because it truly happens all the time. And the insidious horror to that is until we teach our children not to rape (I am tired of the presumption only men are capable of it), these books will be the norm. I don't recommend this because the story/character development is mediocre compared to her earlier novels, but I don't NOT recommend this either. (We are all walking contradictions.)
I think because I never believed in Amber & Tyler's friendship to begin with, that there was that nagging voice that whispered "There's something wrong here!", especially factoring in Tyler's father- I didn't take away as much from it as I would have liked. I also think that because I already know how these situations go down it didn't leave much to the imagination, it didn't leave much unpredicted. Because of this, I wasn't as hooked & read through this in 2 days whereas I usually finish Hatvany's novels in less than 24 hours. And please don't get me started on that ending- I credit Amber for beginning her life again after a year, but having everything neatly wrapped up takes away from the battle survivors face everyday. I'm aware it's domestic fiction, but it feels like a slap in the face to those who struggle. You don't need to have all the answers (or seemingly all of them) to finish the story. Not everything can be fixed & sometimes it's better to leave things up in the air. Just saying. I wish I had a better experience; instead, I'm just left thinking this could have gone so many other ways. Sigh.
I've tried to pin it down to a specific attribute of Amber & Tyler & why I couldn't bring myself to truly care about either of them outside of what happened between them. Maybe it's because of Tyler never truly believing he did anything wrong, only changing his tune when drastic measures are called to action. That shouldn't have had to happen. I also couldn't stand his father & the fact that he basically got off scot-free without a second thought really pissed me off. Amber, as much as I feel for any survivor (I'm a survivor myself), she just rubbed me the wrong way. I'm not in the position of knowing what it's like to recover from an eating disorder & I'm not judging, however I was never really engaged in her life, save for wanting her to get the justice she deserved. Perhaps this makes me seem cold, but I'll be frank. Just because a book is written involving horrific events that happen too often (& yes I agree more discussions should occur, which is a reason why I am thankful for this book), doesn't automatically make me give it 5*, doesn't automatically make me drop my drawers & swear up & down that it's automatically going to be recommended. In all honesty, I didn't care for HAPPENS that much. I wish there were other books I could recommend instead dealing with a friendship that becomes betrayed because one of the individuals didn't listen when the other one said stop. I wish this didn't happen so much that I'd say it's "just fiction" & it "just depends on your cup-of-tea whether or not you read this". But it isn't. Because it truly happens all the time. And the insidious horror to that is until we teach our children not to rape (I am tired of the presumption only men are capable of it), these books will be the norm. I don't recommend this because the story/character development is mediocre compared to her earlier novels, but I don't NOT recommend this either. (We are all walking contradictions.)
I think because I never believed in Amber & Tyler's friendship to begin with, that there was that nagging voice that whispered "There's something wrong here!", especially factoring in Tyler's father- I didn't take away as much from it as I would have liked. I also think that because I already know how these situations go down it didn't leave much to the imagination, it didn't leave much unpredicted. Because of this, I wasn't as hooked & read through this in 2 days whereas I usually finish Hatvany's novels in less than 24 hours. And please don't get me started on that ending- I credit Amber for beginning her life again after a year, but having everything neatly wrapped up takes away from the battle survivors face everyday. I'm aware it's domestic fiction, but it feels like a slap in the face to those who struggle. You don't need to have all the answers (or seemingly all of them) to finish the story. Not everything can be fixed & sometimes it's better to leave things up in the air. Just saying. I wish I had a better experience; instead, I'm just left thinking this could have gone so many other ways. Sigh.
March 28, 2017
Once again, Amy Hatvany has given her readers a book that explores a topic that is often in the news - date rape and consent. It was a tough book to read and readers are able to see the story line through the eyes of Amber and Tyler as they work to understand what happened and how they are going to live the rest of their lives.
Amber and Tyler met when they were 10 and became best friends. Amber always felt a platonic friendship with Ty but he was in love with her. She became engaged while in college but when she was home after graduation, she spent considerable time with Ty and when she kissed him at a party after an evening of heavy drinking by both, things spiraled out of control. This is the story of the emotion and pain caused by that one night. It's told in alternating chapters from each character's point of view so the reader is aware of how it is affecting both of them.
It was a tough book to read but it needs to be read and discussed with everyone's daughters AND sons. If you have a teenager or college student, I beg you to have them read this book and then discuss it with them. At this age, they feel invincible and they need to understand how one night can totally change their plans for the future.
I received an advance copy of this book to review honestly.
Amber and Tyler met when they were 10 and became best friends. Amber always felt a platonic friendship with Ty but he was in love with her. She became engaged while in college but when she was home after graduation, she spent considerable time with Ty and when she kissed him at a party after an evening of heavy drinking by both, things spiraled out of control. This is the story of the emotion and pain caused by that one night. It's told in alternating chapters from each character's point of view so the reader is aware of how it is affecting both of them.
It was a tough book to read but it needs to be read and discussed with everyone's daughters AND sons. If you have a teenager or college student, I beg you to have them read this book and then discuss it with them. At this age, they feel invincible and they need to understand how one night can totally change their plans for the future.
I received an advance copy of this book to review honestly.
March 31, 2017
Release Date: March 28, 2017
Genre: Women's Fiction
I hate to say it but... Well, this book was just not my cup of tea. For such an important topic that this book explores, rape, there was nothing about it that made me feel sympathetic in any way. And it truly should have as rape IS something that happens and has such a profound effect on the victim. Now, I will admit that I liked the fact that the author told the story in the victim and perpetrators point of view, however, I couldn't connect with either character which made it hard to get through. Normally, in stories such as these, I will feel a deep connection with the victim (isn't this the point?) and maybe even learn something from him or her. This just wasn't the case for me in this story and I actually felt worse for Tyler (the rapist) than I did for Amber. Now, not all readers will feel this way and actually many will probably really enjoy the story. But not so much for me. Sorry! I think it felt rushed, there was too much going on (perhaps if the rape was the sole focus I would have liked it more), and the characters felt off.
Reader who like books that deal with real and heavy topics may like this book much better than I did. Just be warned prior to going into it that it deals with some serious issues like rape and eating disorders, so it could be a trigger for some.
Genre: Women's Fiction
I hate to say it but... Well, this book was just not my cup of tea. For such an important topic that this book explores, rape, there was nothing about it that made me feel sympathetic in any way. And it truly should have as rape IS something that happens and has such a profound effect on the victim. Now, I will admit that I liked the fact that the author told the story in the victim and perpetrators point of view, however, I couldn't connect with either character which made it hard to get through. Normally, in stories such as these, I will feel a deep connection with the victim (isn't this the point?) and maybe even learn something from him or her. This just wasn't the case for me in this story and I actually felt worse for Tyler (the rapist) than I did for Amber. Now, not all readers will feel this way and actually many will probably really enjoy the story. But not so much for me. Sorry! I think it felt rushed, there was too much going on (perhaps if the rape was the sole focus I would have liked it more), and the characters felt off.
Reader who like books that deal with real and heavy topics may like this book much better than I did. Just be warned prior to going into it that it deals with some serious issues like rape and eating disorders, so it could be a trigger for some.
March 30, 2017
I've just finished this book and it's so hard to put into words all my thoughts. Sexual consent is so critical to what we teach and what we ourselves learned growing up. My vision of a rapist wasn't the frat boy or the football player we flirted with. Yet I know that many of my friends were put into awful situations with our presumed friends. Read this book. Talk about it with your kids and your friends. Be aware and be a voice for change in our society. Amy Hatvany had given real faces to all the parties involved in acquaintance rape. Her brutal honesty rips your heart out.
March 31, 2017
Amy Hatvany's latest book needs to be read by everyone as it deals with a topic that we 1) don't talk about and 2) place the blame on the wrong person — the victim.... the woman. Tyler and Amber are childhood best friends, but Tyler has romantic feelings for Amber. One night after they have both been drinking, Tyler and Amber's flirtation goes too far and Amber is raped by her best friend. Both of their lives are changed drastically.
While I've always known that a rapist is not the masked man but someone we generally know, Hatvany forces us to look at how we are raising our boys and the messages we are telling them. Those messages of entitlement and "she deserved it" are truly why the system is stacked against women. Look at the Stanford rapist if you don't believe me.
We need to look at and teach what consent really means. That NO means NO. And that no matter what a woman is in charge of what happens to her body. Teach your sons and daughters.
Hatvany should be applauded for tackling this issue head on. Change the world and read this book.
While I've always known that a rapist is not the masked man but someone we generally know, Hatvany forces us to look at how we are raising our boys and the messages we are telling them. Those messages of entitlement and "she deserved it" are truly why the system is stacked against women. Look at the Stanford rapist if you don't believe me.
We need to look at and teach what consent really means. That NO means NO. And that no matter what a woman is in charge of what happens to her body. Teach your sons and daughters.
Hatvany should be applauded for tackling this issue head on. Change the world and read this book.
February 27, 2017
This novel tackles an important and heavy topic, Date Rape. The two primary characters were poorly drawn and developed and elicited little empathy or engagement from this reader.
April 4, 2017
This is probably the most difficult book I've ever read, it was emotionally heartbreaking. Was it perfect? No. There were moments I felt I was being preached to and obviously the author has an agenda HOWEVER the message is something I needed to read and I learned empathy is boundless. In today's society with the prevalence of rape culture and victim shaming this book is something we NEED. I encourage all to push your boundaries and check this book out. It's a message and a lesson that's necessary and should be discussed.
March 30, 2017
This is my second book by Amy and I have to say this one is much harder to read because of the content. Some parts were harder to read than other scenes The attack itself and the flash- backs or descriptions was the hardest as the imagery I got in my head.
I was surprised how the story ended up but it was a powerful story and I hope it helps women who have been through violence in their life. I thought Amy wrote the book very well, and delicately
Thanks goes to net galley and the publishers for providing me with a free in exchange for an honest review.
I was surprised how the story ended up but it was a powerful story and I hope it helps women who have been through violence in their life. I thought Amy wrote the book very well, and delicately
Thanks goes to net galley and the publishers for providing me with a free in exchange for an honest review.
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