Berättelse om ett äktenskap

by Geir Gulliksen, Urban Andersson (Translator)

"Vårt äktenskap liknade inte något annat äktenskap, hade hon tänkt, men nu förstår hon inte vad hon menade med det."

”Jag måste föreställa mig hur det var för henne den våren, en av dagarna innan allt hände.” Så lyder en av de första meningarna i denna roman om ett äktenskap, skildrat efter att kärleken tagit slut. Han försöker se sig själv och förhållandet genom henne, som han tänker sig att hon kan ha upplevt det. Det blir en berättelse om kärlek, om vad kärlek är och kan vara, om de stora förhoppningar vi har på oss själva och på varandra.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Romance, Novels, Marriage, Literary Fiction, Audiobook

174 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2015

About the author

Geir Gulliksen, a Norwegian author and publisher, is from Kongsberg and resides in Oslo.

He studied writing at Bø in 1985 and has worked as an editor at the publishing house Tiden Norsk Forlag. He has also helped popularize several important younger Norwegian authors, including Karl Ove Knausgaard.

Reviews

[Ilse · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chronicle of a divorce foretold

There must have been a tenderness between us, intimacy, trust. There must have been a loving union of two bodies. Loyalty and the promise of a shared future. And yet it was over in a flash, and then it was as though our intimacy and trust, this loving union, had never existed at all. For how can we conceive a loving union that doesn’t last? Can there ever have been a true union, if it doesn’t last?


(Benson Kua)

Who wants to read another novel on the breakdown of a marriage? Sometimes I wonder what actually makes me pick up yet another book on this agonising theme. Is it voyeurism, do I read it for similar reasons why people slow down to gawk at road accidents, rubbernecking? Or am I looking for the wry endorsement that most marriages if not already pretty disastrous in themselves simply don’t rhyme with happy endings. Would there be really any consolation in the awareness that happiness cannot be lasting? Is it a hankering for normality, whatever that might be? A confirmation that my parents long and happy marriage is simply the exception that proves the rule- a dream coming true as implausible as winning the lottery?

I guess I was simply lured in reading these promising sentences of A.M. Homes:

A brilliant and breathtaking novel that is for anyone who has ever loved…The Story of a Marriage is the naked truth, sexy and sad, stunning for its clarity, the author’s ability to simultaneously render denial and knowing too much. It is a novel about all the things we know and don’t want to know about ourselves, our partners and our lives and the shocking reminder that the very same things that draw us together are the ones that pull us apart.

Doesn’t that sound like a fabulous novel? Alas, my mistake.


(Paul Sanders)


Sure, since Anna Karenina we all are aware of the witticism that all happy families are alike and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Perhaps because of reading too many (similar) novels I now doubt that: it seems there are not that many variations in family unhappiness at all. Often it turns out a variation on the theme of self-destruction, self-sabotage or smothering the beloved or the happiness by holding on too tightly. Time and again Louis Aragon’s despondent poem comes to mind :

Rien n'est jamais acquis à l'homme : ni sa force, ni sa faiblesse ni son coeur ; et quand il croit ouvrir ses bras, son ombre est celle d'une croix ; et quand il croit serrer son bonheur, il le broie. Sa vie est un étrange et douloureux divorce... Il n'y a pas d'amour heureux.

(Nothing is ever gained by man, neither his force, Nor his weakness, his heart, and whenever he thinks That he opens his arms, his shadow forms a cross, When he grasps happiness, at last, he crushes it, His life is just a strange, long and painful divorce.There is not any happy love.)

In The Story of a marriage the narrator looks back on his marriage attempting to experience and assess the relationship and himself through the eyes of his ex-wife, Timmy. During those twenty years, Jon seems to go out of his way to try ruin his relationship with Timmy.

When his wife Timmy meets another man at work who lives nearby and shares her interest for running and skiing, he encourages her to feel free and follow all her heart’s desires. He almost pushes her in the arms of the other man, in a somewhat baffling mixture of a permanent need to reinforce the image he cherishes of Timmy and him as an open-minded, liberated and unconventional couple and because he is aroused by the fantasies he spins around Timmy having sex with another man to spice up their own lovemaking. He also seems to forcibly mould himself into a reversal of traditional gender roles. Jon is a writer, he is the one staying at home and taking care of the two children and the whole household, while he stimulates Timmy to live a life outside of the family circle – work, friends, lots of outdoor exercising. While they were rather on the same wavelength when they met, these patterns seem to affect their characters: Jon turns into a fragily, overly solicitous, feminine introvert, Timmy takes on the masculine, extrovert role towards the world, ironically enhanced by the male nickname Jon chose to give her at the moment they met. Nevertheless, as a writer, Jon continues to write the script of their relationship while Timmy seems less and less prepared to play the part that has been allotted to her and egged on by growing irritation she changes the terms of the relationship Jon imposed on her.

It is hardly surprising that Jon’s unilateral view on an open relationship in the end doesn’t work out very well, his suffering and misery seem the almost natural outcome of what he has brought on himself. The rather bland writing style didn’t resonate with me much. Jon’s introspection on the relationship sounds rather hollow and even his testimonial of his disintegration and excruciating sorrow left me uncomfortably indifferent. The reversal of roles felt too forced, the outcome of it all too predictable. Even if in page count it is a brief novel, the slow and agonising decline of the relationship into the snowy abyss of foretold divorce seemed to take ages.
(** ½).

[Beth Bonini · Rating 4 out of 5]

This portrayal of the breakdown of a marriage really resonated with me. The story could be described as an act of emotional voyeurism, or it could also be thought of as an imaginative post-mortem. Either way, the story involves the reader in an exceptionally intimate look at the emotional and sexual dynamics of a marriage.

From the very beginning of the story, the reader is aware that the marriage is going to fail - that it has failed. The fragility of emotional intimacy and loyalty in relationships is emphasised by the narrator’s history. The reader learns, very early on, that the relationship between the central couple - ‘Timmy’ (a masculine nickname bestowed by the husband) and Jon - begins with a chance encounter at a health clinic, when Timmy treats Jon’s young child by his first marriage. Their relationship, then, starts with a betrayal.

The setting is Norway, and although the story is more about the interior lives of the characters than their external ones, the author does insert enough detail to make clear that this is a ‘modern’ marriage which subverts many of the traditional stereotypes of gender roles. Timmy, the wife, is the primary wage earner and she works out of the home. Her affair with Gunnar begins with a work encounter, and is furthered by a work project. In her leisure time, Timmy seems to spend an inordinate amount of time exercising - mostly long runs or cross-country skiing. Neither partner seems to think it is ‘wrong’ for her to take so much time for herself. Timmy is described as strong, solid, sensible, aloof and cool. Jon, on the other hand, is the domestic partner. He is a freelance writer, but he seems to have nearly sole charge of both the home and the children. He is described as volitile, emotional, sensitive and needy. He doesn’t seem to have a lot of emotional outlets outside of his marriage, which arguably is the most ‘typical’ gendered component of their relationship.

Even before the arrival of Gunnar into the marriage, Jon likes to imagine a disruptive and extra male presence in their marriage. Or is this only retrospective? Because the entire story is based on an imaginative device - Jon, imagining his marriage dissolution from his wife’s point of view - the ‘story’ is suspect. The narrator is unreliable, perhaps; but most of all, the story highlights the fact that even in the most intimate of relationships, there is still something unknowable about the other partner’s point of view. Also, there is a natural tendency towards reconstruction when looking retrospectively at a relationship.

One of the most fascinating aspects of this novel was its graphic (both in a physical and emotional sense) depiction of sexuality. At least in my experience, one rarely finds that in contemporary literature. But even the narrator reminds us that he is only ever imagining or interpreting what his wife thinks and feels; he doesn’t know for sure, and this is part of the point.

All in all, a very absorbing and thought-provoking read.
Thanks so much to Crown Publishing (Hogarth Press) for this free advance edition.

[Elyse Walters · Rating 4 out of 5]

To Ilse ....
I'm glad I read it. (just finished) >> off to a doctors appointment - but hope to chat more with you about it later .. YOUR review is excellent --

A few thoughts -for somebody not writing full reviews these days -
.....I've been married 44 years >> Ha! >> maybe I should write a book about Marriage.....lol

okay -- enough funny-stuff:
....First thoughts:
There is a quiet gentleness to this novel (some lovely prose)....but also a lot for the reader 'to judge' .... (I sure did) ....
The writing is beautiful -and disturbing - (odd in a way too --yet interesting narrative-styling) --
Many sentences created solitary thought about our purpose in life… not just about "The Story of Marriage", but about the sounds of footsteps ALL AROUND US....about our inner strengths and weaknesses - about fragility, pain, exhaustion, desires ....the will to survive.
Its also about abandonment, cheating, divorce, remarriage, obsession, fear, respective jobs, superficiality, complicated (and may I say ugly) choices made....
AND an arms look (but I looked!!!) -- at the affect of children who are victim to adult's crippling disasters.

This excerpt was maddening to me:
"But in our time, and here in Norway, any attempt at living in accordance to one's own vision, had been swept away, all our acquaintances lived as though they were still in the 1950s, it was intolerable. Why shouldn't 'she' do what so many 'men' had done throughout history?"
BECAUSE it DOESN'T WORK -- ever!!!!
Cheating for both men and women can destroy a marriage, shatter one's ability to trust future partners, hurt the kids, and even lead to depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

The ending was inevitable! A middle-aged women had fallen in love with another man. She destroyed everything because of her infatuation.

ha...and there ya go - my 5 minute review -- (I could talk about other aspects - not 5 star book -- perhaps a low 4 star book -- but it gave me things to think about --and most --
I'm so grateful to be married to the guy I'm married to!

[Frank Hestvik · Rating 2 out of 5]

So remembering a marriage that has fallen apart; that's the premise.

Told by the man but as if remembered by the woman. I.e. the man is attempting to take the woman's voice and write as she remembers things. At first I thought it was great, stylistically. The first thirty pages built some pretty high expectations. The voice seemed tender and vulnerable, sensitive, and like the book was going to turn into something poetic and beautiful. But then...at some point I realized that there would be no variation in this voice, that this was the only voice he could do and that it would become incredibly wearisome and grating. What was first seen as a soft shimmer turned into a maudlin Coelho-esque treacle. Everything just had to be so damn tender and vulnerable and sensitive, and often for seemingly no reason, to the point of ridiculousness or insincerity.

Even downright comical scenes. Like, OK, on a New Year's they keep getting interrupted during sex. This happens a bunch of times, and by coincidences which would otherwise be amusing. Once, when it's one of their children forcing them to stop, the woman shouts "Pappa kommer snart!" ("Daddy's coming soon!") during coitus, which the narrative coolly admits is funny but says that neither of them laughed at in that moment. OK, fine. But then he starts to wax poetic about the son who interrupted them, for no goddamn reason, "Vi hørte at han nærmet seg, han var på vei inn til oss igjen, han ville forsikre seg om at jeg ikke hadde glemt at jeg skulle hjelpe ham, han ville være i nærheten av oss, mamma og pappa. Han var varmesøkende, han trengte stemmene våre, kroppene våre, han trengte å vite at vi visste om ham, at vi holdt øye med ham [..]" Is this really the time? Sandwiched between (also vulnerable and intimate) descriptions of you fucking your wife? But it's not surprising: everything is like that, that exact voice, constant and forever. Urgh.

And I had some trouble with time. Apparently the book is supposed to span decades (was it 20? or just 10?) but it didn't feel like that at all. It kind of felt like it was all happening within a couple of years, at the most. There's no sense of so much time having passed; it's all so airy. No milestones or quote-unquote "big" moments are depicted. Things that usually happens to a family, things like the birth of your children, special holidays, moving house, death of relatives, et cetera, are ostensibly absent. Wouldn't these be pretty strong memories? Instead there's a focus on what I'd call non-moments. Non-moments which are neither beautiful nor remarkable but which have been rendered with this sentimental Instagram filter making it look all soft and fuzzy like it's an emotionally important moment. Yet there's no minutia or details either! No objects, no color, no rooms you can picture. It's all just so...empty.

So yeah, I liked the beginning. Even with what I know now, I still like the beginning. In its own right it's very strong, like if it hadn't just repeated over and over ten times. And the other thing I found interesting was how the guy basically turns his jealousy into a kind of cuckold fetish. That was something which surprised me (in a good way, as in a new experience).

There's a point made out of them having reversed gender roles, that the guy is consciously reversing their gender roles. The man is the traditional home-maker and the woman working, that kind of thing. I thought this insignificant, but the book makes some kind of deal out of this, literally pointing it out several times, so I assume it's intended to have significance.

[Anna · Rating 2 out of 5]

One cannot, by any means, conjure up sensations, thoughts, memories, and emotions that occupied the mind and body of one’s significant other at any point in one’s marriage. So, to me, the premise of “seeing the story from the wife’s perspective” was bound to become a shambles. I read this novel hoping it won’t be what it turned out to be: an exercise in futility.

I found this book depressing, in the sense that, in trying to tell the story of how two people who supposedly had known each other’s most intimate thoughts ended up separating, the husband’s version of his wife’s “side” is entirely focused on him and his own obsessions. I found his constant need to know her thoughts and feelings incredibly sad and irritating, as if he wouldn’t allow her space to breathe and be her own independent self. Perhaps that is what prompted him to do this: he thought he really knew her, yet what transpires reading the novel is how incredibly obtuse and frustratingly narcissistic he can be.

The book is uneventful, there’s nothing in here that reads twenty years of marriage as I’ve always got a sense that their marriage was short-lived. So what you’ll end up reading are moments and half-truths of a marriage: he’s pretty good at blinding himself to his fault in all this drama.

1.5 stars

[Constantine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rating: Good

Genre: Contemporary Fiction

The Story of a Marriage as its title tells us is the story of how a 20-year-old marriage ends and how the couple reached this stage of separation. The book is narrated from the husband’s point of view. He keeps trying to understand his wife and all the events and the reasons that led to the collapse of their relationship.

The book was originally published in the Norwegian language and then translated to English. It is a short story that is less than two hundred pages. The story is relevant for our times and has its share of intensity and drama. What I really liked about it is the different stages that the author takes the reader to until the marriage falls apart. Sometimes I felt sad for the man as he tried hard to understand his wife and was ready to sacrifice many things for her yet the things he decided to give her and allow her to have, were the ones that ended everything between them.

Overall this was a good read. Yes, sometimes it felt slow but again I feel the pace was just right for such a theme and story.

[balagesh · Rating 5 out of 5]

This text can be misleading for the reader because on a superficial level there are themes that resonate well with everybody: gender roles, true love, love triangle, open relationship, or divorce itself. It is also quite easy to reach an expeditious verdict about the events of the work. In addition, if you can't get away from the highly autobiographical nature of the book, you are welcome to mire the author’s portrait on the blurb of the back jacket with a blend of pity and contempt.
ATTENTION! This is a literary work, hiding its subject-matter behind simplifications in a very elaborative manner. Watch out!
Reading through the text, I was constantly reminded of Ibsen's idea of life-lies, more specifically of Nora's role (A Doll’s House).* We see everything from the male narrator's perspective (Jon), whose main motivation is to avoid the ordinary life of the middle-class man. The essence of his failure, however, is that he eventually takes on the role of the average middle-class woman, instead of choosing a modern, well-balanced family model. He simply picks the opposite role within the model he wants to overcome. Now, if the model is bad, it is of no importance whether the husband or the wife is the homemaker, the outcome will be no different.
But, the divorce is not just the man's failure. From the woman’s perspective, the point is not that she leaves her husband heartlessly, which you might think maliciously is exactly what he deserved, but there is more on the women’ side: she is a rebel. It doesn't matter that she eventually cheats on her husband. The main thing is not that she falls in love with somebody else. These are simply superficial signs of her deep emancipation. No matter what we see, Jon wears the pants: the stereotypical gender roles are reversed, but the roles themselves are the same. The principles are as much proclaimed by Jon to Timmy as by Helmer to Nora. Thus, a woman forced to perform masculine tasks eventually finds her true self, wakes up, regains her health (she describes it that way), and steps out of her doll’s house to live a life according to her own volition.
Ultimately, this divorce does not call into question the existence of true love, the fact that a more sensible distribution of family duties does make sense, or even the viability of an open relationship. This divorce is another masterful parable of the merely repackaged, but essentially unchanged bad routines and of the unilaterally established rules of life.

* To understand Jon’s collapse see: „Take the life-lie away from the average man and straight away you take away his happiness.” Ibsen

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s nearly impossible—I think—to review Geir Gulliksen’s new book without viewing his premise through your own prism of what marriage should be all about. Are Jon and Timmy meant to be perceived as relatable characters? Or are they the ultimate narcissists?

The couple marry after betraying their former partners. Jon’s former wife curses the union, hoping that he will one day experience the same pain that she is going through. And indeed, his wife Timmy (nicknamed by Jon after Timmy Gresshopper who is eternally earnest and optimistic even when he had no idea where he was), becomes enticed by another man, Gunnar.

The two have a curious idea of marriage—setting each other free and being able to share and give vent to all desires. Her experiences with Gunnar are meant to be lived through the intimacy she shares with Jon, tying the two even tighter into a danse a deux. As a result, Jon is complicit in Timmy’s burgeoning affair, urging her to share details even while experiencing impending fear and loss.

My problem with this book is this: I began to suspect that the character of Jon encompassed some of Geir Gulliksen’s life and reality. Further, the 20-year marriage of Jon and Timmy is often showcased through the amazing physical intimacy they shared, but I didn’t get the sense of true emotional intimacy (which is, of course, one of the pillars of a strong marriage). The reliance on their eroticism in bed came at the expense of a strong and fully-formed love, which is always built on a foundation of trust.

Mr. Gulliksen takes risks—he explores the story from his own viewpoint and tries to imagine it from his wife’s and also from Gunnar’s—which leads to an unsettling and even absorbing story. Still, I needed to believe that the marriage was truly unique other than the product of two narcissists to really buy into the “deep emotional truths” being conveyed.

[Annika Kronberg]

Återigen har jag läst en bok som jag har haft höga förväntingar på, men som har gjort mig besviken. Den största besvikelsen med Gulliksens bok är nog att jag har läst det förut. Den tillför inte något nytt till kärleksberättandet, förutom att den är skriven ur en mans perspektiv. Jag skulle absolut rekommendera den till män som vill läsa om kärlek, men i sin genre är den i övrigt lätt utkonkurrerad.

Handlingen är relativt ointressant, språket glimrar till ibland men är oftast lite för enkelt och lite för tråkigt. Jag tycker om delar av Jon, men han gör mig också frustrerad, och jag kan inte känna igen honom i någon jag känner (tyvärr?). Timmy är visserligen självständig och har hela det lasset, men hon är också irriterande och.. jag vet inte, disträ.

En dag ringde hon som hade blivit så hänsynslöst sviken och sa:
– Jag vill bara säga dig en sak.
– Det finns väl inte så mycket mer att säga nu.
– Å jo, det finns mer att säga än du anar. Men du vill inte lyssna på mig, och jag ger upp. Därför ska jag bara säga dig en enda sista sak. Och det är att jag hoppas att du kommer att få uppleva det själv. Jag hoppas av hela mitt hjärta att någon kommer att lämna dig på samma sätt som du har lämnat mig.

[Kkaatteenn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Jag blev helt förstörd av den här boken. Varför utsätter vi oss själva för kärlek? Nej, det låter cyniskt, jag menar inte så. Men den kraft som finns i det, den enorma potential till förgörelse.

Berättarjaget plågar sig själv genom att bygga upp hela historien i sitt huvud, och det blir så obehagligt. Och så verkligt. Vi gör ju så, gör vi inte? Är det inte så vi känner andra, genom det filter vi lägger på dem. Den var väldigt bra, och en bladvändare dessutom, trots att vi vet redan från början vad som oundvikligen kommer ske. Och ändå är det ingen 5:a. Den når inte ända fram, det är någonting som skaver. Men läs läs läs! Och kom tillbaka och diskutera med mig sen.

[Marte Haga · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kanskje var forventningane for høge etter å ha lese mykje godt om boka. Kanskje var eg ikkje i riktig humør for denne boka. Kanskje er eg for ung og dum til å ha vett nok til å verdsette denne velomtalte boka. Kva enn grunnen er, så blei eg altså litt skuffa. Boka er på ingen måte dårleg, ho svara berre ikkje til det eg forventa meg.

Eg syntes det blei litt for flatt, litt for lite oppbygging av spenning/konflikt. Til tider syntes eg og det blei i overkant mykje erotikk her...meir enn nødvendig og såpass mykje at det ikkje gjorde noko godt for boka. Eg er forrestenen veldig for likestilling men oppdaga at eg trass i det blei litt oppgitt over Jon som i blandt oppførte seg som kona i forhaldet mtp å trenge trøst og konstant oppmuntring. Eg blei heller aldri heilt klok på dette med at Jon ØNSKA å sjå ho saman med andre menn... Det virker berre så søkt...

Det eg imidlertid likte var synsvinkelen. Mannen, Jon, forteller om ekteskapet sitt med kona gjennom hennar augo. Altså slik han ser for seg at ho kan ha opplevd det heile. Dette er ein fin vri som gjer boka særpreg og som fungerte veldig bra. I tillegg er det språklige i boka av høg kvalitet. Virkelig nydelig språkbruk og mange smarte formuleringar

[Christine Bonheure · Rating 4 out of 5]

Graag gelezen, dit verhaal over een huwelijk en hoe het – voorspelbaar – fout loopt. Een koppel houdt van elkaar. De man ziet zijn vrouw zo graag dat hij haar stimuleert om even rond te kijken en seks te hebben met anderen. Hij biedt haar totale vrijheid op dat vlak, als bewijs van zijn liefde. Als ze vertelt over haar erotische fantasieën, vindt hij dat alleen maar opwindend. Verhoudingen kunnen best, zij komt toch altijd weer bij hem terug, denkt hij. Tot ze echt verliefd wordt en hem verlaat. Geschreven vanuit een opvallend perspectief. Soms schrijft de man vanuit zichzelf. Dan schrijft hij weer vanuit het perspectief van zijn vrouw. Hij kruipt als het ware in haar hoofd en beschrijft wat ze denkt en doet. Andere keren lees je het verhaal van de vrouw vanuit haar perspectief. Vlotte schrijfstijl. Eenvoudige korte zinnen. Lekker leesbare sprongen in de tijd. Veel seks, geen porno.

[Ylenia · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐

There are a few recurring themes that I enjoy reading about in books & failed love stories are high on my list. I like reading about love & loss in equal parts; this story had both.

The writer decided that the husband was going to tell the story, but from the point of view of his wife. He tried to imagine how she was feeling & what she was experiencing. I liked how this particular narrative choice left the reader the right to judge the story in itself & what really happened (or could have happened).

There was a bit of a focus on their sexual lives & desires - something I did appreciate since it was well written & not overdone.

[Pernille · Rating 2 out of 5]

Skulle ønske halve boka ikke hadde vært en klein og dårlig erotisk novelle, for jeg likte de delene som hadde mer substans.

[Lena · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vackert och obehagligt.

[Anna Ridder · Rating 2 out of 5]

2,5

[Kokonöt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tyckte så otroligt mycket om! Handlar om kärlek som känns så trygg men som inte är det. Om lycka och vardagens bestyr, om att känna kroppen bära i skidspåret och om sex. 5+

[Sara · Rating 2 out of 5]

Gillade inte språket eller greppet, gillade inte storyn, riktigt gnällig? Så himla förvirrande och konstig, var typ äcklad av allt som hände? Kram

[Laura Walin · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kirja on erään kuolleen avioliiton ruumiinavaus. Ja niin kuin ruumiinavaus yleensäkin, se ei niinkään kerro siitä, mikä kaikki vuosikymmeniä kasautunut johti kuolemaan, vaan siitä, mikä oli välitön kuolinsyy. En ole ihan varma, onko tämä ollut kirjailija tietoinen valinta, vai onko tarkoituksena ollut antaa pidempi perspektiivi mutta se ei (ainakaan minulle) kirjasta välittynyt.

Kirjan kertoo kokonaisuudessaan ex-aviomies Jon, josta saa kauttaaltaan tahdottoman ajelehtijan kuvan. Ja koska kertojaksi jää juuri hän (koska ex-vaimo Timmy ei pyynnöistä huolimatta prosessiin lähde), häilyy lukijan mielessä koko ajan kysymys kertojan luotettavuudesta. Tässä kuullaan nyt vain toisen osapuolen näkökulma tapahtuneesta.

Sympaattista kuvaa Jon ei anna myöskään Timmystä eikä heidän suhteestaankaan. Tuntuu, että koko avioliitto on ollut erikoista tarvitsemisen ja poistyöntämisen peliä, jossa avoimet keskustelut kolmansista osapuolista ovat omalla tavallaan ylläpitäneet kauhun tasapainoa, kunnes puhe on muuttunut teoksi ja kaikki on särkynyt.

Nimeään myöten kirja kuitenkin muistuttaa, että kaikki koettu muuttuu ajan myötä mielessämme jonkinlaiseksi tarinaksi. Olisi ollut mielenkiintoista lukea myös Timmyn kertomus juuri tästä avioliitosta.

[Shelli · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is utterly brutal, particularly if you have been through the heartbreak, anger, and despair of a failed marriage or long term relationship. The prose is unflinching and in your face. The emotions are so familiar – from the highest high of soaring, there’s-no-couple-in-the-world-as-perfect-and-unique-and-in-love-as-we-are bliss, to the lowest low of betrayal, bewilderment, desperation, futile bargaining, delusion, and loss. Even the highs are tainted, since we already know that this love will not last, as it is revealed at the outset (and even in the book’s description, so this is not a spoiler) that Jon and Timmy (a nickname, but a woman) have already divorced, their marriage the victim of Timmy’s infidelity and probably much more, not so easily defined.

The Story of a Marriage is written in the first person by Jon, in a style not unlike what I imagine it might have sounded like if it was from a written journal. His thoughts are fragmented and not particularly well-organized, skipping around topically and chronologically, much as you might expect from the mind and heart of an emotionally crushed person. And in his rehashing of his life’s joys and pains, he indulges in a lot of speculation, extrapolation, and assuming, and we’re not always positive if his statements of “fact” about Timmy’s feelings and actions are because she actually reported them as told, or if Jon wove his suspicions into a narrative that he expected – or feared. He indulges – as I think many of us would and do – in conversations with Timmy that probably didn’t happen. It’s not that he’s purposely being an unreliable narrator, it’s just that, well, he’s a mess.

Neither Jon nor Timmy are particularly likable on paper, but what we don’t like about them are the very things we don’t like in ourselves in the midst of a traumatic breakup. We see ourselves in them, and that’s what makes this book so uncomfortable and haunting.

3.75 stars.

I received an uncorrected proof of this book at no cost via Goodreads Giveaways but was otherwise not compensated for my review.

[Nils · Rating 2 out of 5]

Virkelighetslitteratur hvor forfatteren hevder at det er fiksjon, mens hans berørte ekskone hevder seg utlevert. Jeg likte verken handlingen eller karakterene. Fortellerstilen var spennende: En jeg-person som forteller en historie fra en annen persons perspekiv.

Jeg skal huske å steke arboriorisen skikkelig neste gang jeg lager risotto.

[Наташа]

Teška knjiga.
Mučna.
Tim pre ako neko ima iskustvo slično onom opisanom u knjizi.

[Κατερίνα Μαλακατέ · Rating 4 out of 5]

http://diavazontas.blogspot.com/2019/...

Από το αυτί του μυθιστορήματος του Geir Gulliksen, Η ιστορία ενός γάμου, μαθαίνουμε πως ο συγγραφέας είναι ο σταθερός συνεργάτης του Καρλ Ούβε Κνάουσγκορντ στην έκδοση των βιβλίων του. Κι αυτό από μόνο του ίσως να με έκανε να το διαβάσω, είναι γνωστό άλλωστε πως είμαι Καρλουβίτσα. Αν και για να είμαι ειλικρινής, με τράβηξε το θέμα που μοιάζει τόσο κοντινό και ταυτόχρονα τόσο μακρινό, τόσο οικείο στη Σκανδιναβική λογοτεχνία αλλά και το σινεμά.

Ένα παντρεμένο ζευγάρι χωρίζει. Παρόλο που έκαναν όλα αυτά που μοιάζουν να φτάνουν για να είναι μια ζωή μαζί- πρόσεχαν ο ένας τον άλλον, μιλούσαν, έκαναν καλό σεξ, άφηναν ο ένας στον άλλον ελευθερίες- εν τούτοις καταλήγουν χωριστά. Αφηγητής είναι ο άντρας, ο απατημένος, όμως πάρα πολλές φορές προσπαθεί να σκεφτεί τι σκεφτόταν η πρώην γυναίκα του, την αφήνει να μιλάει μέσα από τη φωνή του. Εκείνη είναι γιατρός και δουλεύει ως δημόσια υπάλληλος στη διεύθυνση Δημόσιας Υγιεινής, εκείνος ήταν δημοσιογράφος και τώρα είναι συγγραφέας παιδικών βιβλίων που δουλεύει από το σπίτι. Λατρεύει τη γυναίκα του, έκανε σοβαρές θυσίες για να είναι μαζί της, του φαίνεται πανέμορφη και ενδιαφέρουσα. Ώσπου εκείνη γνωρίζει κάποιον άλλον και πάνε μαζί για τρέξιμο.

Η διάλυση της σχέσης είναι αργή. Οι δυο τους δεν είχαν έναν τυχαίο γάμο, είχαν όλα τα εχέγγυα να κρατήσουν την ευτυχία. Κι όμως απέτυχαν. Το βιβλίο δημιουργεί ανησυχία σε όποιον είναι σε μακροχρόνια σχέση, αναγνωρίζεις συχνά τον εαυτό σου- μα κι εγώ το κάνω αυτό, και προσπαθώ, και θέλω, μα ταυτόχρονα με ελκύει κι ένας άλλος, μα τι ωραία στέρεη σχέση έχω. Και σε κάνει να αναρωτιέσαι, αλήθεια αρκεί μια στιγμή, μια γνωριμία για να καταποντιστεί το οικοδόμημα μιας ζωής; Αρκεί. Ο έρωτας, οι σχέσεις, δεν έχουν λογική. Πρέπει να θέλουν κι οι δυο πολύ.

Πρόκειται για ένα βιβλίο εξαιρετικά καλογραμμένο, με έμφαση στη λεπτομέρεια. Η πλοκή γυρίζει συνεχώς σε κύκλους, αν και ξέρεις την έκβαση από την αρχή, δεν θέλεις να το αφήσεις. Σε υποβάλλει σε μια κατάσταση συνεχούς έντασης. Οι ισορροπίες είναι λεπτές, μια κουβέντα, μια φαντασίωση, μια κίνηση μπορεί να κάνει τη διαφορά. Μου αρέσει ο τρόπος που γράφει ο Γκούλικσεν, το μυθιστόρημα είναι μικρό κομψοτέχνημα, δεν περισσεύει ούτε μια λέξη, οι σκηνές παρεισφρέουν στο μυαλό σου καιρό μετά την ανάγνωση. Κι αυτά που λέει, ακόμα κι αν μοιάζουν καθημερινά και τετριμμένα, δεν τα ξεχνάς.

[Margaret Madden · Rating 5 out of 5]

At what stage in a marriage does power become passion, or passion become power? Jon and his wife have been married for 20 years and their relationship originated with dishonesty and hurt. Jon’s habit of viewing his wife through a gaze results in a narrative suffused with sexual control and an obsession which teeters toward unhealthy expectation. Jon loves the idea of his wife; his ownership of her love and affection; his role as her husband: “I lived as though my life only took place before her eyes.”

Translated from Norwegian by Deborah Dawkin, this novel is a masterful collection of words. Jon subtly controls the story and attempts to narrate his wife’s thoughts. Their marriage becomes consumed by his overwhelming desire to manipulate his wife into becoming a malleable partner he can enter and inhabit. Jon’s approach to love and affection is both desperate and confused. Gulliksen has created a work of fiction which is forceful, effective and pathetically poignant. A sensual and significant novel, deserved of attention.

[Roman · Rating 2 out of 5]

Jag föredrar läsa Strindberg. Gulliksen är tjatig på ett irriterande sätt, hans sexuella fantasier enkelspåriga och hela boken svämmar över av outhärdlig självömkan.

[Liv · Rating 3 out of 5]

har skjutit upp att läsa klart denna hur länge som helst pga….. tappade lite intresset? det är en väldigt intressant skildring av ett äktenskap som går sönder och jag tycker om hur vardagligt allt känns, men det var något med stämningen i boken som jag tyckte var väldigt jobbig. är väl också inte alls målgrupp för denna boken, känns lite som att jag är ett av barnen i familjen som fått lite för mycket inside information om föräldrarna och deras innersta tankar. men ändå, en fin liten berättelse, kände mig väldigt berörd mot slutet

[Lukáš Palán · Rating 2 out of 5]

To sem zase videl, ze to napsal Norek, tak jsem po tom sahl. Ja je mam od dob Knausgaarda a Fosseho tak rad, ze bych norka klidne i nosil.

Tahle knizka mne ovsem moc neuchvatila, pac byla o debilovi. Respektive ve svych tricatnickych letech uz neshledavam zadny dramaticky oblouk v deji typu borec je s borkou, ale ta chodi behat s nekym jinym, pak se do nej zamiluje a nakonec se manzelstvi rozpadne. Co je mi vubec po nejakych blbych manzelstvich. Kdyz to navic vypravi opustena postava, v tomhle pripade manzel, je to vzdy sazka na jistotu, ze to bude uplny debil, ktery jen fnuka a poeticky popisuje, jak je na tom hrozne.

At jdou vsichni tidle lidi do prdele.

[Monika · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nej! Nej nej nej, han är inte jämlik, vanlig och samtida som det står på framsidan av boken. Han är lat och har alldeles för hög tro på sig själv och kärleken. Han är inte villig att kämpa för sitt äktenskap, han är villig att driva sin fru ifrån sig för att sen sitta kvar och fråga vad som hände. Var inte deras kärlek ovanlig och starkare än såhär? Nej, kärlek är kärlek varken mer eller mindre. Den behöver vård och omsorg och öppna ögon.

[Joanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Geir Gulliksen skriver vakkert om et ekteskap som går i oppløsning, med stor psykologisk innsikt og emosjonell intensitet. Setninger som følgende berører meg: "Det ble en lang samtale, den varte i nesten tjue år" (s. 44). Må absolutt lese mer av denne mannen, visste ikke at han var så god!

[Jennopenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

Väldigt bra. Är nog känslomässigt störd som inte grät fast jag borde. Sorglig men fin.