O Segredo das Crianças Felizes

by Steve Biddulph

Lido por mais de um milhão de pessoas em 15 diferentes línguas, ´O segredo das crianças felizes´ contribui, definitivamente, na comunicação entre pais e filhos, do nascimento à adolescência. Ele vai lhe dar mais confiança para agir de forma inteligente, com mais carinho e menos tensão. Steve Biddulph é terapeuta há mais de vinte anos, e neste livro revela o que acontece na mente das crianças. você vai se libertar de métodos ultrapassados e negativos e terá mais energia para curtir seus filhos e sua vida.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Education, Childrens, Relationships

133 pages, Paperback

First published September 30, 1985

About the author

Stephen John Biddulph AM is an Australian author, activist and psychologist who has written a number of influential bestselling books; and lectures worldwide on parenting, and boys' education. He is married and has two children and grandchildren.

Reviews

[Close Enough · Rating 4 out of 5]

مفرح لربما لا يقول هذا قارئ غيري ..لكني كنت كلما امسكت بهذا الكتاب وقرات منه بضع الصفحات كانت تنتابني الغبطة ..لا شيء فيه يبعث على الفرح ..وهذا لم اجد له تفسيرا ..ما عجبت ه في هذا الكتاب ..هو ان تصرفات الآباء تجاه ابناءهم واقوالهم هناك في استراليا لا تختلف قط عن تصرفات آبائنا..اعتقد ان ما ورد في هذا الكتاب يعتبر كدليل لعدة مربيين متخصصين على صعيد عالمي ..هناك برنامج تلفزيوني تقريبا يطبق ما جاء في هذا الكتاب ..وقرات كتبا سابقة تصب في نفس المحتوى ........

[Lucia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Informative, to-the-point, easy to comprehend and very helpful. Recommended to all parents of young children!

[Hristina · Rating 3 out of 5]

Всеки родител може да си "открадне" нещо от тази книга. Разбира се, личи си, че е писана доста отдавна, а проучванията за написването ѝ датират от още по-отдавна. И все пак има неостаряващи принципи в процесът по отглеждането на деца, които би било полезно на всеки да си припомни. Чете се бързо, тъй като има части, несъвместими с нашия ритъм на живот, които да пропуснем.

[TheMadHatter · Rating 2 out of 5]

Actual Rating: 2.5

I started off being quite impressed by this book and found the advice very nonjudgmental and understanding of how difficult it is to raise children.

However, when I got to the (outdated) chapter on child care I felt quite annoyed. I am about to put my children into child care and it is a decision that has caused me lots of grief and guilt and one I have not made lightly, but I made the decision as I have been out of the work force for two years and I WANT to go back to work. This book talks about making sure you don't ignore your needs, and to not feel guilt over parenting - but then it gets to the childcare chapter and contradicts itself. Child must come first, guilt, guilt, guilt.....

Even though the chapter focuses on women who go back to work when they don't want to, the anti-childcare sentiment is still quite strong. There are some really helpful bits in the book (eg FirmLove) - but the STRONG opinionated child care chapter basically made me want to throw the book away in disgust. Why do these books end up making you feel worse about your parenting decisions?????? Time to stop reading them I think and trust my instinct about what is best for me, my kids and my family.

[Danya · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book. I read it through twice and have bookmarked a bunch of comments/pages to re-read again when I need it.

The book isn't too preachy and offers lots of practical strategies for raising happy children.

I really enjoyed reading about the 'history' of families and childhood, it gives a good framework to understand how we have gotten to where we are.

However, the book does show its age and some of the information is outdated and is sometimes based on anecdote rather than validated studies (particularly the chapter on daycare).

I'll be reading "Raising Boys" next!

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always love Steves books &
This is no exception.

[Fiona · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn’t finish. I don’t think this fits with my parenting style and is fairly outdated - ie forcing a kid to say hello to someone if they’re feeling shy.

[Калоян Захариев · Rating 4 out of 5]

Книга, написана за австралийската реалност, поради което, в някой части, неприложима за нас.
Все пак, книгата наистина си струва. Трагичната истината е, че българина смята себе си за страхотен родител, без значение към кое поколение принадлежи. Действителността обаче е доста по-различна и малко плашеща.
Прочита на тази книга дава второ мнение по доста въпроси и техники, които си струва да се обмислят.
Определено това е книга за четене.

[Nic · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well-intentioned, but pretty dated. It's kind of funny how low a bar it seems to have for parental behavior sometimes, like, "Don't tell your children 'you're so stupid' or 'I wish you'd never been born'," or "Don't hit your children hard." Um, thanks, I won't.

[Jennifer · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was interesting to go back and re-read some of the ideas in Steve Biddulph's 'classic' 'Happy Children' books in this revised edition of the first. I remember liking the follow-up book and I was surprised to dislike 'Raising Boys' quite intensely. The whole here is a generally decent thing, no longer, thankfully, quite as 'revolutionary' as popular writing as it once was and written and illustrated in a manner and length that make it more appealing to those who need it most. It is compassionate to both children and parents. I particularly liked the way he talks about the importance of parents taking care of their own needs and of their intimate relationship and how to do that in a way which is not, as so often, entirely predicated on going out without the children and on spending money. Mostly he doesn't get into the big controversies of our time so there wasn't much about childcare.

So why am I not enthusing about it? Firstly, I suppose the experience of reading Raising Boys has made me wary and I believe rightly so...I suspect sometimes he writes too definitely about things which are mere conjecture on his part and in which he doesn't have professional expertise - for example when he writes about the importance for young babies of having their needs met to establish trust and then says that they should cry 'heartily' for a minute or two before being fed or they may grow up having trouble knowing what they want. I wondered if he had any idea that babies show other hunger cues before crying (And then of the few books he recommends as further reading he suggests The Continuum Concept which makes a big deal as I recall that the Amazonian babies under observation never cry and that being the way it should be)

There's also the common assumption that stay at home parents all literally stay at home, without intellectual stimulation and adult company compared with their peers in paid work and that understandably some parents can't hack that. (Although later on he makes some very interesting points about getting involved in organisations to improve society) There's also an assumption that all children are born 'normal' with the same needs - and that's surprising because he deals very deftly and positively I feel with the issue of lone parenting. I found the section on tantrums really quite weird... I don't think he and I understand tantrum to be the same thing, he seems to think they are entirely within a child's control and deliberate and I felt he was talking about behaviour stereotypically associated with two year olds in a manner appropriate to a child of say 5 or 6.

So I'd be quite selective about suggesting this book to others, more so than when the book first appeared. There are some really quite creepy books around about parenting which could do your head in and which give a scary amount of power to children. This isn't one of those books and, with the caveats above, could be a good antidote to them. It's also a good book for those who have had poor experiences of being parented and who these ideas have passed by so far. But I think for most people I might suggest other books these days.

[Ali Morakabi · Rating 3 out of 5]

"آيا تا به حال فكر كرده ايد كه چرا در زمانه ما بزرگسالان غمگين هستند ؟ نميتوانند به درستي تصميم بگيرند ، براي هر موضوع جزيي نگران ميشوند ، نمي توانند براي خود دوستي پيدا كنند ، پرخاشگر هستند ، به همديگر به ديده تحقير مي نگرند و نسبت به نيازهاي اطرافيان خود نيز بي اعتنا هستند . اندوه بر تمام طبقات جامعه اعم از غني و فقير و متوسط سايه افكنده است . اين موضوعي است كه با صرف هزينه هاي هنگفت هم نمي توان آن را حل كرد .
از سوي ديگر مشاهده افرادي كه هميشه خوشحال و خوشبين هستند ما را به تعجب وا ميدارد علت چيست ؟!"

طي مطالعه كتاب اين مطلب برايتان روشن خواهد شد كه چگونه در كودكي هيپنوتيزم شده ايم كه با خود بيگانه شويم و دچار مشكلاتي شويم كه گاه تا پايان عمر گريبانگيرمان است .

[Melinda · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book doesn't say much that's different from any other gentle parenting book out there. The one tidbit that I did take was the need for physical contact throughout life and how after the nursing/carrying phase children end up losing out.

[Martin Králik · Rating 5 out of 5]

Asi uplne prva non-fiction, ktoru tu mam. Je plna konkretnych situacii, ktore naozaj rodicia doma zazivaju, a prinasa zaujimasve riesenia. Neda sa ich vyuzivat vsetky naraz, no par veci urcite skusat budem.

[Terka Juchelková · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hned na začátek je potřeba uvést, že nejde o kontaktní ani respektujicí přístup. Atmosféra i tón jsou ale příjemné, obrázky jsou vtipné a ilustrativní.

Autor hned v první kapitole ukazuje sílu slova (ať už vědomého nebo nevědomého). Text je psán s nadhledem a bez odsuzování, uvádí uvěřitelné věty a situace, přináší tipy a podněty ke změně. Fakta nejsou nijak ozdrojovaná a část o stravě mi přijde úplně mimo rozsah autora - opakuje jen obecné poučky bez dalšího vysvětlení nebo řešení.

Důraz je kladen na to, že děti rozumí více, než dávvají najevo, emoce je zdravé vyjádřit a rodiče by v tom měli jít příkladem. Líbí se mi rozlišení mezi potřebou a přáním a důležitost energie rodiče. Nicméně některé tipy jsou nepoužitelné a naivní. Autor asi ještě nikdy nepotkal nezazdrojovaného rodiče.
Zajímavá jsou okénka s úlohou otce, i když jej tímto jaksi vyčlěňujeme z běžné kolonky "rodič".

Tady ale chvála končí. Dle autora existuje špatné chování a zlobivé děti. Naprosto nesouhlasím s falešnými emocemi, které mají představovat běžnou emocionální poruchu v dětství. Jako vhodnou reakci na vztek dítěte uvádí autor ignorovat ho, fyzicky zvládnout, potrestat apod. Nikde ale neřeší určení věku - malé dítě není manipulativních taktik schopno, puberťák sebou těžko bude mlátit na zemi v obchodě...
Další pro mě nepřípustnou metodou je posílat děti na hanbu do kouta, protože se bojí cizího člověka a nechtějí si s ním povídat.
Autor podporuje asertivitu, ale rozhodně ne respektující přístup. Naopak jsou rady velmi autoritativní, plné příkazů, zákazů bez vysvětlení, s dospělákem braným jako neomylným Bohem.

[Aina · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very easy read, could have been an article, not a book. We don’t get taught how to parent so we often use the same parenting style as our parents. This can be a problem since times have changed and a lot has been learnt in the art and theory of parenting. The main message is that kids thrive in later life if they have assertive but caring parents, who set reasonable boundaries firmly to make kids feel safe but also surround kids with love, which includes PHYSICAL affection. A personal insight I took away was that guiding your child does NOT mean helping them to solve their problems but often being patient in letting them solve their problems with your encouragement. This helps them develop coping mechanisms and grow self-confident.

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Astounded to say the least. I am forever grateful for the lady that Lent me this. I feel like I have learnt so much from the 200 pages of this book. It took such a small amount of my time yet I feel like I have been filled with valuable information that I can take away and put into practice. Being a mum to three boys isn't easy but it was a choice myself and my husband made and now we can work on our children to become happy and delightful beings. It's so simple to change small things, and this book really gives you some amazing tips on becoming a healthy and parent, wife/husband and self. I will certainly recommend this book to everyone?!

[Ludmila · Rating 5 out of 5]

Velice zajímavá kniha, mnoho pro mě nových informací, především, že vztek, plachost a skleslost jsou naučené emoce a je třeba je odnaučit, jinak si dítě nese problém do dospělosti. Občas se vyskytla nějaká myšlenka, se kterou zcela nesouzním. Celkově hodnotím knihu velice kladně a ráda se k některým kapitolám vrátím v budoucnu.

[Rafa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aporta algunes idees interessants, que trencaven (als 80, quan va ser publicat) amb l'educació estricta que van rebre els nostres pares. De totes maneres, li falta aprofundir en alguns temes, i d'altres són prescindibles.

[Елиана Личева]

Като всяка книга за възпитание на места съм съгласна с автора, но някои неща ме озадачиха и доста се разминават с моето разбиране. Как хем пропагандира идеи от привързано родителство, хем подкрепя наказание до стената.
Става за четене, но с 1 на ум.

[Erin Hearts · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love this psychologist for parenting advice.

[Allison Bedford · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple and easy to read. Funny, warm and agreed with what he had to say and found things I could work on.

[Paulo Mariano · Rating 3 out of 5]

Algumas frases valem a leitura desse pequeno livro. Vale para começar a pensar a fundo sobre criação de filhos. Uma introdução.

[Gabi · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pas d'accord avec tout, donc je recommanderai pas

[Elsa Silva]

Este livro é fabuloso porque o autor apresenta através do humor e do bom senso técnicas simples que ajudam imenso no dia a dia da vida familiar.

[Силвия Христова · Rating 4 out of 5]

Книгата е лесносмиларма и полезна. Определено открих съвети, които ще използвам във възпитанието на децата си.

[Marwa]

مسلم
فأل💛

[Darja · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jednoduše a přehledně popsané zásady, jak vychovat šťastné dítě. Bohužel taky dost povrchně, ale od takhle útlé knížky se ani nedalo čekat, že půjde nějak víc do hloubky.

[MoJa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilfreich

[Yoyo · Rating 5 out of 5]

وجدت الكتاب صوتيا مجانا على تطبيق منطوق للكتب الصوتية

[CRK · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly common sense. It always good to review and reassess ones behaviour. I especially liked the part about why we have emotions and the value of anger, feat, and sadness.