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HBR Guide to Emotional Intelligence
Managing the human side of work Research by Daniel Goleman, a psychologist and coauthor of Primal Leadership , has shown that emotional intelligence is a more powerful determinant of good leadership than technical competence, IQ, or vision. Influencing those around us and supporting our own well-being requires us to be self-aware, know when and how to regulate our emotional reactions, and understand the emotional responses of those around us. No wonder emotional intelligence has become one of the crucial criteria in hiring and promotion. But luckily it’s not just an innate Emotional intelligence is composed of skills that all of us can learn and improve on. In this guide, you’ll learn how
240 pages, Paperback
Published June 27, 2017
131 people are currently reading
722 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
April 23, 2018
This is a fragment of a book and not a real one. It is simply a collection of all articles that is been written in the subject of emotional intelligence, or its surroundings. These articles are available on HBR anyways, so why not just have an index of pointers to these originals. It clearly is repackaging for marketing.
I found a handful of these articles very helpful, especially those with self-assessments or those that highlights new developments in the field. But, to call it a guide is too much for the book content. I found many articles naïve in nature, and short on content that I felt an abrupt ending without a good closure to the content of these articles.
If you plan on reading this book, I recommend that you review its table of contents, grab the articles you want from hbr.org, and read them there.
I found a handful of these articles very helpful, especially those with self-assessments or those that highlights new developments in the field. But, to call it a guide is too much for the book content. I found many articles naïve in nature, and short on content that I felt an abrupt ending without a good closure to the content of these articles.
If you plan on reading this book, I recommend that you review its table of contents, grab the articles you want from hbr.org, and read them there.
May 27, 2020
I enjoyed reading the book. It took me one setting to finish, as I skipped a few sections that weren't of interest. A few insights I noted:
1) Understanding your emotions and what personal values are being affected can be very helpful in changing your leadership behavior and decisions to your benefit. For example: if you are anxious to give someone feedback because you don’t want him to feel treated unfairly, that means you value fairness. Ask yourself, is it fair to hide her areas for improvement? Is it fair to limit her growth?
2) When in stress, make physical changes to affect your mind/emotions
o Take a single intentional breath
o Know and recognize unpleasant emotions so you can better interpret and deal with them
o “Magnify little pleasures”. Enjoy the small stuff.
0 Know that other people go through this
0 Continuously and deliberately be nice to yourself
3) “Emails from people high in power tend to be perceived as more negative”, so be weary when writing an email to your team. specifically, make your written communication clear from emotional misinterpretation. To achieve that you can:
o Mimic behaviors of those you are sending the email to (eg emoticons, word choice)
o State your emotions (don’t try to be too nice in giving feedback, people are smart). E.g. instead of “the xx needs to be redone. I’m sure that’s the client’s doing, and you will handle it :)” try “I am very happy with your work so far. I think the xx could be improved, though; would you mind giving it another shot?”
1) Understanding your emotions and what personal values are being affected can be very helpful in changing your leadership behavior and decisions to your benefit. For example: if you are anxious to give someone feedback because you don’t want him to feel treated unfairly, that means you value fairness. Ask yourself, is it fair to hide her areas for improvement? Is it fair to limit her growth?
2) When in stress, make physical changes to affect your mind/emotions
o Take a single intentional breath
o Know and recognize unpleasant emotions so you can better interpret and deal with them
o “Magnify little pleasures”. Enjoy the small stuff.
0 Know that other people go through this
0 Continuously and deliberately be nice to yourself
3) “Emails from people high in power tend to be perceived as more negative”, so be weary when writing an email to your team. specifically, make your written communication clear from emotional misinterpretation. To achieve that you can:
o Mimic behaviors of those you are sending the email to (eg emoticons, word choice)
o State your emotions (don’t try to be too nice in giving feedback, people are smart). E.g. instead of “the xx needs to be redone. I’m sure that’s the client’s doing, and you will handle it :)” try “I am very happy with your work so far. I think the xx could be improved, though; would you mind giving it another shot?”
October 10, 2021
The amount of book suggestions are very interesting, and in deed it raised my curiosity to know more deeply each subject discussed.
August 15, 2018
These books are collections of HBR articles. If you have a subscription or have read them before then it’s nothing new. I pick these up from time to time at my local library to see what topics I may want to browse on the site.
This one was pretty good. Emotional intelligence touched on many different factors like resilience, empathy, etc. But some chapters were just summaries of long form articles. Seems strange to do considering they have the affordance of a book. Other HBR collections are better about this, thus the 3 stars.
This one was pretty good. Emotional intelligence touched on many different factors like resilience, empathy, etc. But some chapters were just summaries of long form articles. Seems strange to do considering they have the affordance of a book. Other HBR collections are better about this, thus the 3 stars.
June 7, 2020
HBR books are really good for working professionals. I wish that the book included more case studies, like that of 'John Clendenin' from Xerox. Nevertheless there's a lot to learn, particularly if you're at the earlier stages of your career.
A must read. Given below are the major learning points for me, some quotes verbatim from the book, some my own concise remarks that condenses the learning into bullet points.
1. Of all a leader’s competencies, emotional and otherwise, self-awareness is the most important.
2. Self-awareness is not a trait you are born with but a capacity you develop throughout your lifetime. It’s your understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, your purpose in life, your values and motivations, and how and why you respond to situations in a particular way.
3. One of the techniques that is most useful in gaining deeper self-awareness is meditation.
4. Empathy and compassion have to be balanced with honesty.
5. Emotions are interpretations of feelings.
6. When you have negative feelings, slow down and pay some attention to what you are feeling and why you are feeling the way you are.
7. If you keep thinking about things that bother you, you run the risk of solving nothing while getting yourself more upset.
8. It’s been shown that when people don’t acknowledge and address their emotions, they display a lowered sense of well-being and more physical symptoms of stress, like headaches.
9. People who write about emotionally charged episodes experience a marked increase in their physical and mental well-being.
10. The key to mastering civility begins with improving your self-awareness.
11. Your emotions are your natural guidance system—and they are more effective when you don’t try to fight them.
12. Most of the time, when you’re in distress, you’re in the middle of telling yourself a story and you fully believe it. A breath can take you out of the story, making you less gullible.
13. If you acknowledge and recognize unpleasant emotions, they have less power to cause you distress.
14. While writing emails it’s better to simply state your emotions verbally than let others guess it from the overall content of the mail. Just state, “I’m thrilled” or “I’m happy”, instead of making others guess it. Coneys message regardless of the state of the mind of the recipient of the email.
15. Angry negotiators are less accurate than neutral negotiators both in recalling their own interests and in judging other parties’ interests.
16. Faking anger can create authentic feelings of anger.
17. One way to reduce the potential for regret after a negotiation is to ask questions without hesitation during the process.
18. People prefer to tell lies of omission about facts rather than lies of commission about feelings.
19. When we experience negative emotions, blood recedes from the thinking part of the brain, the cerebral cortex, and rushes to its oldest and most involuntary part, the “reptilian” stem, crippling the intake of new information.
20. We accept flattery even when we recognize it as such.
21. Most people are highly motivated to avoid a loss, which complements their desire to gain something. Hence time-bound offers work due to the FOMO.
22. Turn to tried-and-true methods for stress relief: meditation, exercise, enough sleep, and healthful eating.
23. Compassion makes the difference between understanding and caring.
24. When you’re facing criticism don’t jump to offering a reason. Let go of the need to respond. Don’t agree to disagree, just collect the data, first and foremost.
25. When hard times strike, resist any impulse to view yourself as a victim and cry, “Why me?” Rather, devise constructs about your suffering to create meaning for yourself and theirs.
26. When things go wrong in our lives, we tend to become our own worst enemy.
27. Self-compassion is closely associated with emotional resilience, including the ability to soothe ourselves, recognize our mistakes and learn from them, and motivate ourselves to succeed.
28. Self-compassion is also consistently correlated with a wide range of measures of emotional well-being such as optimism, life satisfaction, autonomy, and wisdom, and with reduced anxiety, depression, stress, and feelings of shame.
29. A learning plan is different in that it charts a direct path from the personal vision to what must be learned over time to get there—to actual skill development.
A must read. Given below are the major learning points for me, some quotes verbatim from the book, some my own concise remarks that condenses the learning into bullet points.
1. Of all a leader’s competencies, emotional and otherwise, self-awareness is the most important.
2. Self-awareness is not a trait you are born with but a capacity you develop throughout your lifetime. It’s your understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, your purpose in life, your values and motivations, and how and why you respond to situations in a particular way.
3. One of the techniques that is most useful in gaining deeper self-awareness is meditation.
4. Empathy and compassion have to be balanced with honesty.
5. Emotions are interpretations of feelings.
6. When you have negative feelings, slow down and pay some attention to what you are feeling and why you are feeling the way you are.
7. If you keep thinking about things that bother you, you run the risk of solving nothing while getting yourself more upset.
8. It’s been shown that when people don’t acknowledge and address their emotions, they display a lowered sense of well-being and more physical symptoms of stress, like headaches.
9. People who write about emotionally charged episodes experience a marked increase in their physical and mental well-being.
10. The key to mastering civility begins with improving your self-awareness.
11. Your emotions are your natural guidance system—and they are more effective when you don’t try to fight them.
12. Most of the time, when you’re in distress, you’re in the middle of telling yourself a story and you fully believe it. A breath can take you out of the story, making you less gullible.
13. If you acknowledge and recognize unpleasant emotions, they have less power to cause you distress.
14. While writing emails it’s better to simply state your emotions verbally than let others guess it from the overall content of the mail. Just state, “I’m thrilled” or “I’m happy”, instead of making others guess it. Coneys message regardless of the state of the mind of the recipient of the email.
15. Angry negotiators are less accurate than neutral negotiators both in recalling their own interests and in judging other parties’ interests.
16. Faking anger can create authentic feelings of anger.
17. One way to reduce the potential for regret after a negotiation is to ask questions without hesitation during the process.
18. People prefer to tell lies of omission about facts rather than lies of commission about feelings.
19. When we experience negative emotions, blood recedes from the thinking part of the brain, the cerebral cortex, and rushes to its oldest and most involuntary part, the “reptilian” stem, crippling the intake of new information.
20. We accept flattery even when we recognize it as such.
21. Most people are highly motivated to avoid a loss, which complements their desire to gain something. Hence time-bound offers work due to the FOMO.
22. Turn to tried-and-true methods for stress relief: meditation, exercise, enough sleep, and healthful eating.
23. Compassion makes the difference between understanding and caring.
24. When you’re facing criticism don’t jump to offering a reason. Let go of the need to respond. Don’t agree to disagree, just collect the data, first and foremost.
25. When hard times strike, resist any impulse to view yourself as a victim and cry, “Why me?” Rather, devise constructs about your suffering to create meaning for yourself and theirs.
26. When things go wrong in our lives, we tend to become our own worst enemy.
27. Self-compassion is closely associated with emotional resilience, including the ability to soothe ourselves, recognize our mistakes and learn from them, and motivate ourselves to succeed.
28. Self-compassion is also consistently correlated with a wide range of measures of emotional well-being such as optimism, life satisfaction, autonomy, and wisdom, and with reduced anxiety, depression, stress, and feelings of shame.
29. A learning plan is different in that it charts a direct path from the personal vision to what must be learned over time to get there—to actual skill development.
May 22, 2019
Так как книга является сборником лучших статей по теме от одного из наиболее авторитетных изданий в мире бизнеса, то и ожидания к ней были соответствующие. И могу сказать, что они полностью оправдались.
В книге описаны многие моменты по такой не простой теме как эмоциональный интеллект очень простым языком.
Минусов у книги не нашел.
К плюсам отнесу:
легкий и понятный стиль изложения сложной темы,
множество практических советов,
отличную выборку материалов по теме.
В книге описаны многие моменты по такой не простой теме как эмоциональный интеллект очень простым языком.
Минусов у книги не нашел.
К плюсам отнесу:
легкий и понятный стиль изложения сложной темы,
множество практических советов,
отличную выборку материалов по теме.
October 11, 2023
I am getting more emotionally intelligent by the second. Still researching tho.
October 3, 2020
“Gestionar las emociones no es sólo deshacerse de ellas; es poner en práctica estrategias que te permitan usarlas, en lugar de dejar que dirijan tus conductas y tus acciones. Tus emociones son tu sistema de guía natural y son más eficaces cuando no intentas luchar contra ellas”.
En el ámbito laboral es de suma importancia para las empresas chicas y grandes el gestionar precisamente las emociones de los empleados. Esa conducta debe ser visible desde la cima hasta las bases de la organización, es un trabajo completo pero que se debe realizar sin excepción. Este libro da buenas pautas para implementar a corto y mediano plazo, la ecuación si la sabemos aplicar resultará en un ganar y ganar.
En el ámbito laboral es de suma importancia para las empresas chicas y grandes el gestionar precisamente las emociones de los empleados. Esa conducta debe ser visible desde la cima hasta las bases de la organización, es un trabajo completo pero que se debe realizar sin excepción. Este libro da buenas pautas para implementar a corto y mediano plazo, la ecuación si la sabemos aplicar resultará en un ganar y ganar.
May 13, 2022
Emotional intelligence as a great skillset
When one of my top bosses casually pointed to my naive ignorant nature
and advised me to be aware of the work environment and its surroundings, I realized I need to learn a lot in this direction. This book provided me with right toolset as emotional intelligence.
When one of my top bosses casually pointed to my naive ignorant nature
and advised me to be aware of the work environment and its surroundings, I realized I need to learn a lot in this direction. This book provided me with right toolset as emotional intelligence.
January 7, 2024
Surprisingly enjoyed this book after first expecting it to be dry and difficult to read. A collection of former HBR articles all relatively short in length makes for easy and short reading sessions if desired. Very useful information for anyone in a management or leadership position, or for any human being that interacts with other human beings (I think that’s most of us??)
May 18, 2018
This is a terrific guide to leading as a human being. Since there are many different authors of the various chapters, you get a mix of viewpoints that address the many aspects of emotional intelligence. It would be useful to anyone who work.
February 10, 2019
If you thought a workplace is no place for emotions, boy do you need to read this one! One of the most expansive collections of an often ignored topic. It's a good primer for further readings like Daniel Goleman's classic 'Emotional Intelligence'.
September 7, 2021
Given, that I am a neophyte, when it comes to emotional intelligence; I found the book, more useful than I anticipated; I do wonder, what the extent of the literature, is, outside of business, at this point. I might do, some sort of, exploration.
November 7, 2022
Disfruté muchísimo de esta guía y aprendí muchas cosas que desconocía acerca de temas como la empatía, dar feedback difícil, etc. Es importante saber que la base de este libro son artículos publicados en la revista HBR.
April 9, 2025
Excelente orientador
Resúmenes y reseñas para iniciar el recorrido de la literatura de la inteligencia emocional. Esta lleno de excelentes recomendaciones para la vida laboral.
Miles de spoilers, comparto todos los highlights.
Resúmenes y reseñas para iniciar el recorrido de la literatura de la inteligencia emocional. Esta lleno de excelentes recomendaciones para la vida laboral.
Miles de spoilers, comparto todos los highlights.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 22, 2018
Great collection of articles with easy to apply tips and tools. Also, a lot of great book recommendations to go any deeper.
June 14, 2019
Not bad. Lots of common sense stuff. Repetitive. A short summary would suffice.
August 14, 2019
The best parts are about understanding our bodies, and how to build resilience
November 13, 2019
Great collection of current essays and summaries on Emotional Intelligence from a wide variety of thought leaders.
February 8, 2020
A must-read for all managers and employees!
June 16, 2020
very helpful and insightful.
February 13, 2021
Insightful.
While some of the articles are cornerstones, other aren't so interesting; overall the book gives a good insight of emotional intelligence at work.
While some of the articles are cornerstones, other aren't so interesting; overall the book gives a good insight of emotional intelligence at work.
May 2, 2021
Absolutely one of the must read books!
March 31, 2022
A great collection of short articles from business leaders and thinkers about a broad range of emotional intelligence topics.
Useful and informative exercises, suggestions and ideas.
Useful and informative exercises, suggestions and ideas.
May 30, 2022
Great way to understand how emotional intelligence works and can be learned. In the era of increasing importance of EQ over IQ, a must read for every individual.
September 30, 2022
Excelente muy práctico
Muy bueno lo recomiendo tratan los temas en forma ágil y con el rigor requerido. Lo he leído y aplicado recomendaciones inmediatamente.
Muy bueno lo recomiendo tratan los temas en forma ágil y con el rigor requerido. Lo he leído y aplicado recomendaciones inmediatamente.
October 27, 2022
Interesante, pero plagado de obviedades.
Me gustó especialmente el enfoque del minduflness y la resiliencia en la gestión de la frustración y el estrés.
Me gustó especialmente el enfoque del minduflness y la resiliencia en la gestión de la frustración y el estrés.
October 28, 2023
HBR 10 essay collection on emotional intelligence. Another priceless read.
December 7, 2024
Certainly nothing ground breaking. Really obvious sort of stuff. Not sure if It’s really worth reading..
Read
July 11, 2018Excellent book, with many great suggestions
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews