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Born Broken: An Adoptive Journey
A must read for prospective adoptive and foster parents as well as those already in the trenches of caring for a child affected by Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and substance abuse, early childhood trauma, abandonment, and attachment issues. This book is an eyes-wide-open look into one family's adoption journey. Kristin Berry tells her family's adoption story honestly, and does not shy away from the challenges she and her family has faced, including isolation and depression. Written with her son's blessings, in the hopes that others will learn about and understand what it is like to live with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders FASD. "Mom you need to write the truth. It is hard to live with FASD. I hate that I have hurt people. I hate that school is hard. I hate that I always make the wrong choice. I hate living like this. People need to know what this is like. People need to know that drinking while pregnant is never okay. People need to know!" The story began like a dream… A child is born with all the possibilities of a bright future. Nearby, a loving family waits for the son they have always dreamed of. When they become a family through adoption, little league, playdates, birthday parties and college scholarships all seem within the grasp of this all-American family. But when the fairy tale ended… The family realizes their precious child is struggling with the most basic developmental milestones, and they vow to love him more. However, the truth of their son's condition is something that even the strongest family could not undo. His brain has been damaged by alcohol before he was even born. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is the leading cause of birth defects and developmental disabilities in the United States… and there is no cure. One family's powerful story of faith began. The fight to advocate for their adopted son in a world that did not understand left this family feeling exhausted and hopeless. The isolation of their reality almost destroyed their marriage and their family, until they found strength in a community they never knew existed. They found families that were struggling too. They stepped out of isolation and together they found faith and hope once again.
160 pages, Paperback
Published March 28, 2017
46 people are currently reading
495 people want to read
About the author
Kristin Berry
7 books16 followersKristin Berry is the former foster mom to 22 children, mom of 8 fantastic children, (all of whom are adopted), mother-in-law to two fine young men, and grandmother to the cutest little grand-daughter on earth. She has been married to Mike since college, and together they write and speak for confessionsofanadoptiveparent.com a ministry they started after two of their sons were diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews
February 1, 2019
A journey of adoption thru a mother's eyes. Her and her hubby are foster parents to 22 kids and adoptive parents to 8. 2 of which have fetal alcohol disorder. My heart Hurts for this momma and for her 2 sons. As a foster mom, I have been a part of kids stories such as these. And as a labor and delivery nurse, I have watched little ones enter the world already broken and bruised, damaged by he effects of alcohol/drugs prior to their life outside the womb beginning. Absolute injustice. Anger and frustration filled my heart and soul, but also compassion and hurt for the mom who made these choices and the babes who have to live with the consequences. This story doesn't have a happy ending, but it does have a mom who loves her fiercely loves her babes and has her trust in the God who loves them even more.
September 4, 2017
The BEST FASD book for any parent
This book was amazing! I'm pretty sure I highlighted half of it. Reading her words validated everything my husband and I have felt regarding our two FASD kiddos. We understood her perspective and recommend this book to anyone who needs a "friend" so they don't feel alone while dealing with FASD. She speaks the truth of our hearts. I couldn't put this book down until I had read the whole thing!! We are so thankful for this piece.
This book was amazing! I'm pretty sure I highlighted half of it. Reading her words validated everything my husband and I have felt regarding our two FASD kiddos. We understood her perspective and recommend this book to anyone who needs a "friend" so they don't feel alone while dealing with FASD. She speaks the truth of our hearts. I couldn't put this book down until I had read the whole thing!! We are so thankful for this piece.
August 31, 2022
Born Broken is a very raw, touching book about a mother/family. This mom has had 22 kids, 8 being fosters i believe. Two of those kids have fetal alcohol disease / disorder / syndrome. I can’t remember the actual name.
This story tells a bit about the experiences as a mother in general, but specifically as a mother of children with unique needs / disabilities / FASD.
Their journey is obviously not the same as every other mama. They’ve had a lot of hardships and struggles, medically and otherwise.
This book was shorter in length, so it was pretty easy to stay engaged and keep interest. I can’t say there was a happy ever after persay, but this book was powerful.
This story tells a bit about the experiences as a mother in general, but specifically as a mother of children with unique needs / disabilities / FASD.
Their journey is obviously not the same as every other mama. They’ve had a lot of hardships and struggles, medically and otherwise.
This book was shorter in length, so it was pretty easy to stay engaged and keep interest. I can’t say there was a happy ever after persay, but this book was powerful.
January 10, 2024
I identified with this story so much. Often, her experiences were almost exactly the same as my family. Although difficult subject matter, it has a throughline of hope.
February 1, 2024
What a sad situation! This book made me so angry at women who harm their unborn babies with drugs and alcohol, men who harm women and children, and the lack of a solution to the problems that both of those create. I am in awe of people like the Berry family who try their best to help children who need them.
September 10, 2017
Honest and Raw
Born Broken was an honest look in to adoption and the hardships that come along with lives that are broken. I cried with her as she reflected on traumatic memories of life with her son. Thank you for being real!
Born Broken was an honest look in to adoption and the hardships that come along with lives that are broken. I cried with her as she reflected on traumatic memories of life with her son. Thank you for being real!
June 28, 2024
Wow, Kristin Berry has dealt with things as a parent that would have sent me running. What an honest look at the struggles of parenting a child with FASD.
February 16, 2020
Kristin Berry was honest and I appreciated that. Her journey is not over but she and her son shared the truth about FASD and their struggles.
March 31, 2019
This is a powerful story of raising an adopted son with FASD. I think the author was brave to give readers a view into her home and heart. It kept my attention but I feel it needs another edit. I was confused often by missing pieces. When did the adoption happen? What age was her son at different times? When did she start working outside of the home and what was her job? It felt like I was reading someones journal and they assumed I already knew all the details. That being said I have so much respect for this mom and her vulnerability. I would recommend the book to anyone struggling to parent a child with FASD or any mental illness and anyone who wants to understand what that life can look like.
April 23, 2023
This was a hard (although short) read. It is not a book I would recommend or suggest, being someone's first introduction to foster care or adoption. It is a very extreme case of FASD and the impact it had on their adopted son (and therefore the family as well). I felt like this book left me with more questions than answers. It really is just about Alexander (as much as possible) and not all of their kids, and it covers at least 13-15 years. So, of course, there are timeline gaps, questions, and parts skipped, but I think that Kristin wrote exactly how much she wanted to share. I had a lot of empathy for Kristin, their whole family, but especially the siblings that lived with secondary trauma for years. I am hesitant to say it was a horrific situation, and yet, it kind of was. I honestly just can't even imagine.
"It is through my son's brokenness that I have seen my own fractured spirit magnified. For many years I have grieved the loss of what I expected my son to be. I live in a culture that teaches us that if we believe in ourselves, anything is possible. When I was growing up, I was told that I could be anything I put my mind to. I have believed wholeheartedly that with hard-work, perseverance, and a positive attitude, anything can be accomplished. I now believe something else as well. My son has taught me that we all fall short. He has taught me that despite my best intentions, I will never love deeply enough."
"It is through my son's brokenness that I have seen my own fractured spirit magnified. For many years I have grieved the loss of what I expected my son to be. I live in a culture that teaches us that if we believe in ourselves, anything is possible. When I was growing up, I was told that I could be anything I put my mind to. I have believed wholeheartedly that with hard-work, perseverance, and a positive attitude, anything can be accomplished. I now believe something else as well. My son has taught me that we all fall short. He has taught me that despite my best intentions, I will never love deeply enough."
September 5, 2019
Powerful Story of Love and Heartbreak
This book was selected by my county CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) as the monthly book club selection. A a CASA I have a great interest in children who are in the foster care system, many of whom have been born to mothers who have used illicit drugs and alcohol during pregnancy. A great deal of attention has been given to infants born with drugs in their system but not as much attention to the FASD infants. As the author reveals in honest heartbreaking detail, these children suffer a wide range of lifelong issues. The lack of understanding of these issues by not only the adoptive family, but also by medical, police, and even DCS caseworkers, made the journey even more painful.
The author is unflinchingly honest in sharing her story of loving a child who was born broken and in spite of every possible effort remains a threat to the wellbeing of his family and himself. Ms. Berry is a skillful writer and I found myself cheering her and family on in spite of the impossible odds. Her Christian faith shines through in even the darkest times.
I would recommend this book to anyone with an interest in foster care and adoption or anyone who wants to learn about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
This book was selected by my county CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) as the monthly book club selection. A a CASA I have a great interest in children who are in the foster care system, many of whom have been born to mothers who have used illicit drugs and alcohol during pregnancy. A great deal of attention has been given to infants born with drugs in their system but not as much attention to the FASD infants. As the author reveals in honest heartbreaking detail, these children suffer a wide range of lifelong issues. The lack of understanding of these issues by not only the adoptive family, but also by medical, police, and even DCS caseworkers, made the journey even more painful.
The author is unflinchingly honest in sharing her story of loving a child who was born broken and in spite of every possible effort remains a threat to the wellbeing of his family and himself. Ms. Berry is a skillful writer and I found myself cheering her and family on in spite of the impossible odds. Her Christian faith shines through in even the darkest times.
I would recommend this book to anyone with an interest in foster care and adoption or anyone who wants to learn about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.
February 4, 2018
A must read book about FASD (Fetal Alocohol Spectrum Disorder) and the impact it can have on a family
Verified Purchase
Kirstin and Mike had adopted a couple of daughters.
Kristin tells of the excitement they had as their first son joined their family, and the challenges they experienced as he grew over a few uewes. She shares the frustration as many professionals told them there was nothing wrong with their son, it must be something they were doing wrong. There was nothing wrong with him. He looked normal. This just added guilt to the frustration they were living with.
After years of misdiagnosis, they finally found a professional who recognized that a diagnosis of Fetal Alochol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) would be appropriate for him. It wasn't them. It was a prenatal brain injury caused by his birth mother consuming alcohol during pregnancy.
This book shares the struggles an adoptive family can face as they walk their journey.
You will laugh, cry, feel their joy and pain as you read this book.
It is an honest description of the highs and lows a family can experience.
I highly recommend it, especially for adoptive families and those around them
Verified Purchase
Kirstin and Mike had adopted a couple of daughters.
Kristin tells of the excitement they had as their first son joined their family, and the challenges they experienced as he grew over a few uewes. She shares the frustration as many professionals told them there was nothing wrong with their son, it must be something they were doing wrong. There was nothing wrong with him. He looked normal. This just added guilt to the frustration they were living with.
After years of misdiagnosis, they finally found a professional who recognized that a diagnosis of Fetal Alochol Spectrum Disorder (FASD) would be appropriate for him. It wasn't them. It was a prenatal brain injury caused by his birth mother consuming alcohol during pregnancy.
This book shares the struggles an adoptive family can face as they walk their journey.
You will laugh, cry, feel their joy and pain as you read this book.
It is an honest description of the highs and lows a family can experience.
I highly recommend it, especially for adoptive families and those around them
September 24, 2018
Heartbroken for our society. For those who don’t understand FASD and perceive these precious children as “bad” and look at the adoptive/foster parents as the cause. For a system that continues to allow women to have multiple births of FASD and other drug addicted babies.
I love this couple and this family. No matter what they have stuck together and never gave up on their son.
Beautiful story of love for others by sharing this story so others may not feel so alone in their journey and that others can understand the disastrous consequences of addicts having babies.
I pray there are researchers and therapists out there who can find a way to best help this young man and so many out there who have not chosen this.
I love this couple and this family. No matter what they have stuck together and never gave up on their son.
Beautiful story of love for others by sharing this story so others may not feel so alone in their journey and that others can understand the disastrous consequences of addicts having babies.
I pray there are researchers and therapists out there who can find a way to best help this young man and so many out there who have not chosen this.
November 23, 2017
Well written for the nonwriter author, ultimately a very sad story about fetal alcohol syndrome. Striking was how with even almost the best parents someone could have, the neurological damage was so profound, there just wasn't much of a difference to be made. Did the boy deserve love and care? Yes, of course, everyone does...but deep questions are raised about nature and nurture, the limitations of love, and how much you sacrifice the many for the one. Only briefly discussed, the two sisters still living at home seemed particularly sad - calmly calling the police and seeing their mother threatened with knives, etc. Glad I read it and Berry seems to be an amazing person!
November 5, 2018
What a heartbreaking, but hopeful, true story. Many families have chosen to disrupt adoptions for children with less trauma than the child in this story, but through the nightmare this family lived, they chose to never give up on their son. Their love for him is evident on each page. My heart breaks for their other children and the hopelessness the entire family felt. I pray they have all experienced some healing since this story was written. Thank God for his redemption. And I'm grateful to have read this raw, honest experience about the love of a family throughout the hardest of adoptive circumstances.
May 18, 2017
A new subject to learn about.
It is always easy to read a book but difficult to give it a title. This book opened my mind to the realities of drug and alcohol abuse of the mother when pregnant with the child. I had seen children with fetal alcohol problems but this book let you live alongg with the family.. A must read for anyone who lives with this and also for those who interact with people who do. I have never learned so much about this subject but this author made it so interesting you do not consider putting it down. Great book
It is always easy to read a book but difficult to give it a title. This book opened my mind to the realities of drug and alcohol abuse of the mother when pregnant with the child. I had seen children with fetal alcohol problems but this book let you live alongg with the family.. A must read for anyone who lives with this and also for those who interact with people who do. I have never learned so much about this subject but this author made it so interesting you do not consider putting it down. Great book
April 2, 2018
Wow
This book is a very touching story. I admire these two wonderful parents who have taken in and adopted so many children. I love how they have stayed beside Alexander this whole time. So many parents give up on kids who are like he is ( even birth parents) but you two just loved him and kept searching for help. We all get frustrated at times this is normal. God Bless You All. Thank You for being great parents.
This book is a very touching story. I admire these two wonderful parents who have taken in and adopted so many children. I love how they have stayed beside Alexander this whole time. So many parents give up on kids who are like he is ( even birth parents) but you two just loved him and kept searching for help. We all get frustrated at times this is normal. God Bless You All. Thank You for being great parents.
May 22, 2018
Heartrending memoir-ish tale of adoption - she’s adopted lots of kids (6? 7?), but focuses on the story of her son with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and his behavior. I loved the beginning of the book and my heart breaks for what the mother went through, but I found some bits troubling. She spends no time talking about race or implicit bias or helping her (black) son navigate his culture. Some chapters felt like they were rushed or glossed over.
January 5, 2023
Incredible book!
This book taught me so much about FAS. I have read other books that had a lot of info about it but hearing it from a Mom, Dad and siblings made it so much clearer. I have 2 grandchildren and an ex daughter-in-law who struggles with alcoholism and I'm incredibly grateful and lucky that she didn't drink during her pregnancies. Thank you, Kristin for educating us on this terrible thing that can happen to children.
This book taught me so much about FAS. I have read other books that had a lot of info about it but hearing it from a Mom, Dad and siblings made it so much clearer. I have 2 grandchildren and an ex daughter-in-law who struggles with alcoholism and I'm incredibly grateful and lucky that she didn't drink during her pregnancies. Thank you, Kristin for educating us on this terrible thing that can happen to children.
February 3, 2025
Maybe it's because I'm of a different religious background, but I found the author dangerously naive. They seemed to have leaned on God to the point of not bothering to do basic research the issues faced by foster children. FASDs and their high rate of occurrence in foster children was a well known issue in the 90s, so I simply don't understand how the idea that it was behind her son's issues was such a surprise to her.
July 2, 2017
Extremely important book. Dives into realities that are faced by far more than we realize. I wish evangelical culture which has elevated adoption & coined it as their responsibility, would honor the complexity of adoption & share this book with the same fervor. Read it, set the book down, and you see humanity in a new light
December 16, 2017
A raw but what I imagine to be an accurate portrayal of everyday life as a foster/adoptive parent. I appreciate the authors firsthand account of the everyday struggles faced by adoptive families, especially those parenting children with FASD. The author made it easy to feel as though the reader was living within the confines of the book.
August 30, 2020
The beginning seemed like a lot of “this horrible thing happened but I was great” stuff and I put the book down. I decided to pick it back up and am so glad I did. Adoption is not always glitz and glamor, it is trauma and messy. It is tantrums and ugliness but it is also second chances loving beyond blood lines and diverse families.
May 20, 2017
I appreciated the honesty and hope mingled within a true story of adoption. Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder was glossed over at pur adoption training and the picture of their life helps me understand it so much better.
November 19, 2017
As a sibling of a child with similar problems, I am glad to read a parent's point of view. Excellent book. I wish I would have read it when I was trying to understand why my parents made the choices they did. And still do.
February 11, 2018
Read this. Truth is hard. But we move beyond.
We have lived in similar scenarios. It is helpful to hear others share the strategies. The safety plan. The healing. The challenge. And the hope that comes from knowing healing can happen.
We have lived in similar scenarios. It is helpful to hear others share the strategies. The safety plan. The healing. The challenge. And the hope that comes from knowing healing can happen.
August 15, 2018
This was one of those books that my mom, girlfriends and I each read and discussed with tears after. Whether you are involved in some way with foster, adoption or just simply loving other humans; this is a great book to walk in the shoes of one dear momma.
March 9, 2020
Oh my. So realistic and honest. It shows the struggle of many foster parents. Wanting to help one child but fearing for the well being of the other children already in your care. A must read for foster parents or parents of fasd kiddos.
May 29, 2023
Hard to read as a parent through adoption, knowing this reality. The important first-hand story though of what life can be like when a person you adore struggles to be well because of trauma and prenatal exposure to a substance.
May 28, 2017
Fabulous book. So raw and real. I have an adopted child with FASD and I could totally understand all of the emotions expressed. thank you for your openness.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 50 reviews