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Red-Tainted Silence #1
A Red-Tainted Silence
I'll never forget the first time I saw him--the wild shock of black hair, the beautiful blue eyes, the full lips with that perfected pout. Such a diva, even from the beginning. I was entranced, smitten, mesmerized. He had the face of an angel, and the voice of one, too--and almost from the start I began the pattern of losing Nicholas. I was good at that--I guess I never believed I really deserved him, what he would bring to us both. What we would experience, because of him. What we could be, because of him. What I could be because of the strength and belief he had in me.
Denial denial denial.
Damn, I was good at that. But I was going to have to get good at trust and acceptance, if I wanted to keep him.
Publisher's Note: This book is a homoerotic love story. It contains sexual acts that may be offensive to some readers: male-male sexual practices.
Denial denial denial.
Damn, I was good at that. But I was going to have to get good at trust and acceptance, if I wanted to keep him.
Publisher's Note: This book is a homoerotic love story. It contains sexual acts that may be offensive to some readers: male-male sexual practices.
515 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 17, 2006
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March 24, 2009This is the classic example of a romance that takes you in spite of yourself.
I buy nearly all the ebooks that Loose Id publishes in the M/M genre, and therefore I have bought also this book, moreover recommended by an American yahoo group which I participate.
I have bought blindly, without really reading the plot or checking the length, and it is this last one that shocked me: I opened the book, in electronic format, at 10.00 p.m., thinking, as usual, to read it in one session, and with my great surprise and displeasure, I found instead that the book was more than 750 pages long!!! Impossible to read it in one shot and above all, did I want to begin such a long book?
I put it aside for some evenings, and finally, with courage in my two hands, I have begun to read it: and then the book has made its magic. It is a heartbreaking story about two young people that meet and fall in love when they are about twenty years old, then spend the following 10 years on the ups and downs of their relation, and conclude the book still together, still fighting in order to make this relation work.
The book begins from the end, or at least this is what the reader believes: Brandon is at the bedside of Nicholas, who is just after a kidnapping that wounded him in body and spirit, but they decide together that it is worthwhile overcoming their misunderstandings in order to build a future together. All is perfect, thinks the reader, this is the happily ever after of the book... but instead Brandon begins thinking of the past, of the errors he made in his relation with Nicholas, while at the same time in the present some unexpected switches occur.
The reader finds himself hurled between present and past alternatively, and he cannot decide if he is more interested in understanding what happened in the past or what is happening in the present... both stories are closely tied, but also strangely far from each other: two parallel stories, but with enough strength to make them both important and enthralling.
Brandon is the younger of the two, he was 17 when they met. He felt in love with Nicholas at first sight, and from that moment on, as he says, he has been prepared for the pain to come when finally he loses Nicholas; since the beginning Brandon is convinced that their story cannot last, Nicholas is too beautiful, too much centre - of - the - stage, too much cool, too much... everything, so that sooner or later he will realise that Brandon is not on his level and will leave him. Brandon sees himself like a simple shadow when compared to successful Nicholas; his deep inferiority sense not only make him see Nicholas through rose-tinted glasses, but also distorts his perception of himself. While he remembers of their past, painful, heartbreaking memories overwhelm him until his mind jams to get somehow rids of the sorrow; the reader can see it because, while at the beginning memories are precise and detailed, step by step, while the story goes on, they get more and more chaotic and haphazard. Moreover Brandon, towards the end, remembers only of the ugly moments and omits the happy ones, even if there must have been some of course, since his love for Nicholas is still so strong.
At the moment of Brandon’s black out, the story’s front changes: till that moment it’s Brandon speaking in first person, now it’s up to Nicholas letting us discover Brandon’s pain, understand his bitter awareness that he egoistically abandoned Brandon, just when Brandon was more needing him. Even if it’s Nicholas the one who is physically suffering, and that we find since the beginning in a hospital’s bed, Brandon suffered of unimaginable mental pains. It is through the words of Nicholas that we learn to know Brandon, the talented, the beautiful one, a kind and the faithful person. He’ll never let Nicholas down, in spite of the uneasiness that their life together brings to him; he will leave only when Nicholas pronounces the words of their separation, but only to be back once again when Nicholas needs it. Nicholas, who is not as beautiful as Brandon sees him; Nicholas, who, even if two years his elder, is the more childish between the two of them. Nicholas, who while reading Brandon’s diary, suddenly understands that something is wrong: why does Brandon speak only about their sad moments, when they had so many happy ones? And then, from his words, we start to learn about the pleasant moments of their life together.
Close to the end the book focuses on the present, on Nicholas’s fight to bring Brandon out of the dark abyss he felt deeply in. And it will be up to him, the same person who since the beginning Brandon believed would have put an end to their relation, fighting tooth and nail to keep the two of them together.
http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/85...
I buy nearly all the ebooks that Loose Id publishes in the M/M genre, and therefore I have bought also this book, moreover recommended by an American yahoo group which I participate.
I have bought blindly, without really reading the plot or checking the length, and it is this last one that shocked me: I opened the book, in electronic format, at 10.00 p.m., thinking, as usual, to read it in one session, and with my great surprise and displeasure, I found instead that the book was more than 750 pages long!!! Impossible to read it in one shot and above all, did I want to begin such a long book?
I put it aside for some evenings, and finally, with courage in my two hands, I have begun to read it: and then the book has made its magic. It is a heartbreaking story about two young people that meet and fall in love when they are about twenty years old, then spend the following 10 years on the ups and downs of their relation, and conclude the book still together, still fighting in order to make this relation work.
The book begins from the end, or at least this is what the reader believes: Brandon is at the bedside of Nicholas, who is just after a kidnapping that wounded him in body and spirit, but they decide together that it is worthwhile overcoming their misunderstandings in order to build a future together. All is perfect, thinks the reader, this is the happily ever after of the book... but instead Brandon begins thinking of the past, of the errors he made in his relation with Nicholas, while at the same time in the present some unexpected switches occur.
The reader finds himself hurled between present and past alternatively, and he cannot decide if he is more interested in understanding what happened in the past or what is happening in the present... both stories are closely tied, but also strangely far from each other: two parallel stories, but with enough strength to make them both important and enthralling.
Brandon is the younger of the two, he was 17 when they met. He felt in love with Nicholas at first sight, and from that moment on, as he says, he has been prepared for the pain to come when finally he loses Nicholas; since the beginning Brandon is convinced that their story cannot last, Nicholas is too beautiful, too much centre - of - the - stage, too much cool, too much... everything, so that sooner or later he will realise that Brandon is not on his level and will leave him. Brandon sees himself like a simple shadow when compared to successful Nicholas; his deep inferiority sense not only make him see Nicholas through rose-tinted glasses, but also distorts his perception of himself. While he remembers of their past, painful, heartbreaking memories overwhelm him until his mind jams to get somehow rids of the sorrow; the reader can see it because, while at the beginning memories are precise and detailed, step by step, while the story goes on, they get more and more chaotic and haphazard. Moreover Brandon, towards the end, remembers only of the ugly moments and omits the happy ones, even if there must have been some of course, since his love for Nicholas is still so strong.
At the moment of Brandon’s black out, the story’s front changes: till that moment it’s Brandon speaking in first person, now it’s up to Nicholas letting us discover Brandon’s pain, understand his bitter awareness that he egoistically abandoned Brandon, just when Brandon was more needing him. Even if it’s Nicholas the one who is physically suffering, and that we find since the beginning in a hospital’s bed, Brandon suffered of unimaginable mental pains. It is through the words of Nicholas that we learn to know Brandon, the talented, the beautiful one, a kind and the faithful person. He’ll never let Nicholas down, in spite of the uneasiness that their life together brings to him; he will leave only when Nicholas pronounces the words of their separation, but only to be back once again when Nicholas needs it. Nicholas, who is not as beautiful as Brandon sees him; Nicholas, who, even if two years his elder, is the more childish between the two of them. Nicholas, who while reading Brandon’s diary, suddenly understands that something is wrong: why does Brandon speak only about their sad moments, when they had so many happy ones? And then, from his words, we start to learn about the pleasant moments of their life together.
Close to the end the book focuses on the present, on Nicholas’s fight to bring Brandon out of the dark abyss he felt deeply in. And it will be up to him, the same person who since the beginning Brandon believed would have put an end to their relation, fighting tooth and nail to keep the two of them together.
http://elisa-rolle.livejournal.com/85...
January 22, 2015
This is a love story of Brandon and Nicholas. Not a simple love story. It starts in present day, when Brandon decides that he will write about his relationship with Nicholas -- as his lover recurperating in hospital after being kidnapped and tormented for 6 weeks.
Part one of the story is from Brandon's point of view, as he explains how and why he falls in love with Nicholas. Brandon, from the very first time, decides that he will be Nicholas's white knight, his protector -- even if he is a year younger. He positions himself as the shadow to Nicholas's sun. Brandon is more quiet, reserved, and does not feel comfortable in the spotlight, unlike Nicholas who is more outgoing and the center of his friends' affection.
The story unfolds approaching the present time, that there is something more to the story of Brandon, a secret that he keeps, one that results in him pulling away from Nicholas. A reason why he never feels that he deserved Nicholas. A reason why he accepts the falling apart of his relationship. Before the kidnapping happens.
When Brandon collapses, the story turns to Nicholas's point of view. The present time. He is fighting for his lover, trying to understand what Brandon has been secretly guarded in his mind. Because for Nicholas, Brandon is the child of the sun. His sun. His source of strengths. He can't ever let Brandon go. Even prior to the kidnapping, Nicholas is trying to get Brandon back into his life. And there is no way, Nicholas will not let Brandon give up to the darkness now.
This book has turned me into an emotional wreck - I cried buckets and felt mellow. If I can sum up to one word, this one will be EPIC. Logan and Veronica's epic (reference to the show "Veronica Mars" here). It is definitely the best tear-jerker gay fiction I read so far. I am so in love with the characters, deeply attached to what Brandon and Nicholas have been through, in course of 10 years of their life. When I finish the book, it feels like triumph for both of them. I know that they will be all right, stronger than before. But OH GOD, it doesn't stop making my heart aches for them while reading. An amazing accomplished story (even if there are a LOT of tears between the two men).
But I think I will continue to cry a bit here ... *sniff*
Part one of the story is from Brandon's point of view, as he explains how and why he falls in love with Nicholas. Brandon, from the very first time, decides that he will be Nicholas's white knight, his protector -- even if he is a year younger. He positions himself as the shadow to Nicholas's sun. Brandon is more quiet, reserved, and does not feel comfortable in the spotlight, unlike Nicholas who is more outgoing and the center of his friends' affection.
The story unfolds approaching the present time, that there is something more to the story of Brandon, a secret that he keeps, one that results in him pulling away from Nicholas. A reason why he never feels that he deserved Nicholas. A reason why he accepts the falling apart of his relationship. Before the kidnapping happens.
When Brandon collapses, the story turns to Nicholas's point of view. The present time. He is fighting for his lover, trying to understand what Brandon has been secretly guarded in his mind. Because for Nicholas, Brandon is the child of the sun. His sun. His source of strengths. He can't ever let Brandon go. Even prior to the kidnapping, Nicholas is trying to get Brandon back into his life. And there is no way, Nicholas will not let Brandon give up to the darkness now.
This book has turned me into an emotional wreck - I cried buckets and felt mellow. If I can sum up to one word, this one will be EPIC. Logan and Veronica's epic (reference to the show "Veronica Mars" here). It is definitely the best tear-jerker gay fiction I read so far. I am so in love with the characters, deeply attached to what Brandon and Nicholas have been through, in course of 10 years of their life. When I finish the book, it feels like triumph for both of them. I know that they will be all right, stronger than before. But OH GOD, it doesn't stop making my heart aches for them while reading. An amazing accomplished story (even if there are a LOT of tears between the two men).
But I think I will continue to cry a bit here ... *sniff*
March 19, 2017
*** I enjoyed reading this book just as much as I did the first time. ***
Original review...
This book tells the story of Brandon Ashwood and Nicholas Kilmain and their ten year relationship. Nicholas is an outgoing and vivacious singer and Brandon is a shy quite musician. As the story starts Nicholas is in a hospital recuperating from injuries sustained during his time as a kidnap victim. Brandon, who was the one to rescue him, is watching over him and thinking back on their life together and how they can work out the problems that had led to their separation.
Brandon decides the best way to work their problems out is to write down his feelings to share with Nicholas. Thus the reader is treated to glimpses of their relationship, from the beginning and through their ten years together.
This book is populated with a great cast of characters, from Brandon's family to band mates and friends. Each in their own way plays an important part in Brandon and Nicholas' life and throughout the book we see how each person contributed, knowingly or unknowingly, to their relationship. There is a mystery running through the book as they try to figure out who was behind Nicholas' kidnapping and the answer to that question comes as a surprise to not only Brandon and Nicholas but to the reader as well, or at least it caught me by surprise.
I've got to say I totally loved this book. I loved the flow of the story, the drama and the mystery and also the look into a long-term relationship from its beginning and through the years to the present time. I loved the emotional connection that resonates throughout the book between Brandon and Nicholas and that it's shown in both points of view but most of all I just plain love these guys. Even at 500 plus pages I wasn't ready to let them go. And that to me is a sign of a great book.
Original review...
This book tells the story of Brandon Ashwood and Nicholas Kilmain and their ten year relationship. Nicholas is an outgoing and vivacious singer and Brandon is a shy quite musician. As the story starts Nicholas is in a hospital recuperating from injuries sustained during his time as a kidnap victim. Brandon, who was the one to rescue him, is watching over him and thinking back on their life together and how they can work out the problems that had led to their separation.
Brandon decides the best way to work their problems out is to write down his feelings to share with Nicholas. Thus the reader is treated to glimpses of their relationship, from the beginning and through their ten years together.
This book is populated with a great cast of characters, from Brandon's family to band mates and friends. Each in their own way plays an important part in Brandon and Nicholas' life and throughout the book we see how each person contributed, knowingly or unknowingly, to their relationship. There is a mystery running through the book as they try to figure out who was behind Nicholas' kidnapping and the answer to that question comes as a surprise to not only Brandon and Nicholas but to the reader as well, or at least it caught me by surprise.
I've got to say I totally loved this book. I loved the flow of the story, the drama and the mystery and also the look into a long-term relationship from its beginning and through the years to the present time. I loved the emotional connection that resonates throughout the book between Brandon and Nicholas and that it's shown in both points of view but most of all I just plain love these guys. Even at 500 plus pages I wasn't ready to let them go. And that to me is a sign of a great book.
November 19, 2011
I am annoyed and frustrated, what could have been an awesome read didn't happen. I did get drowned, in over the top drama and childish characters who whined and cried continuously. Jonathon was just creepy with the touchy feely thing going on with Nick. He must of secretly lusted after him, or else why would he cut Brandon his brother from his life? He goes off to support Nick, yeah that was totally believable.
There was repetitive dialogue that made the book drag and the angst OMG, was it necessary to put Brand and Nick through the wringer and torture, overkill to the extreme. I am "amazed" they both came out of this experience alive and sane. Its a shame, I wanted to feel a connection for Nick and Brand but I never did. Too depressing and I just wanted it all to end ASAP. No light at the end of the tunnel only emotionally scarred for life.
There was repetitive dialogue that made the book drag and the angst OMG, was it necessary to put Brand and Nick through the wringer and torture, overkill to the extreme. I am "amazed" they both came out of this experience alive and sane. Its a shame, I wanted to feel a connection for Nick and Brand but I never did. Too depressing and I just wanted it all to end ASAP. No light at the end of the tunnel only emotionally scarred for life.
February 9, 2011
01/18/13: Revised rating after a couple of years of reading m/m: from 5 to 4.
The most incoherent review I'll ever write. What is it about this book that grabbed me so much that I couldn't put it down no matter what was happening? There are a lot of things here that I usually don't appreciate: the main characters (and everyone else) cry every two pages; the main characters go through so many painful things that it's just not possible unless God has specifically something against you; the story goes back and forth between the past and the present and part of it is written as a sort of diary so you get a book in a book while it's being written and while it's being read; Brandon - the main narrator - seems cold and detached and maybe even whiny for a long time. But but but but but I'm in love with this book.
And I know why. I feel so close to Brandon that I hurt throughout the book. Not good enough. Not loved enough. Not useful enough. Not nice enough. Not funny enough. Not outgoing enough. The best compliment that he could receive: talented and closed off. The best way he could be perceived: cold, disinterested, distant. His blessing and damnation: falling in love with someone like Nicholas, who is the natural magnet of people's affection, basking in his spotlight and living with the fear of losing the everything he has become for him. Brandon loses himself completely in Nicholas, he is annihilated in his lover, who becomes the center and goal of his life.
Brandon's perspective of the events is twisted and bent like space-time around a black hole and although Nicholas is regarded as a sunny guy who brings joy and happiness in everyone's life, he ends up sucking away all of Brandon's energy and sanity, because Brandon goes through hell to keep him safe and content, up to the point of making Nicholas let him go. I think it's very significant that we hear about Brandon writing his music up until he meets Nicholas and then his music, which is his talent, becomes quite incidental in his life.
Although I complained about the flashbacks, I think they saved me because the story read in chronological order would have torn me apart. From the very first time Brandon and Nicholas meet, there is disdain, hate and violence around them, and in Brandon's flawed view they take center stage almost obnubilating their good times and achievements. When the narration switches to Nicholas, we finally see the sunnier side of the story, how Brandon is cherished by his lover. And thank you, dear Author, for breaking my heart all over again, because it becomes clear the time and strength Brandon wasted while thinking he was never good enough for Nicholas.
In all this ordeal there is a mystery to be unravelled regarding who has been blackmailing Brandon for ten years - Brandon and Nicholas are rockstars in the closet - and has had Nicholas kidnapped and tortured. I think it's pretty obvious, but the author kept her cards close to her chest and unsettled me in the second part of the book with disturbing behaviors by all the secondary characters involved. Very good.
The book is long, angsty, twisted, warped, confusing, but I think the author made an incredible portrait of Brandon's personality and it deeply resonated with me. I'd recommend it to patient people.
The most incoherent review I'll ever write. What is it about this book that grabbed me so much that I couldn't put it down no matter what was happening? There are a lot of things here that I usually don't appreciate: the main characters (and everyone else) cry every two pages; the main characters go through so many painful things that it's just not possible unless God has specifically something against you; the story goes back and forth between the past and the present and part of it is written as a sort of diary so you get a book in a book while it's being written and while it's being read; Brandon - the main narrator - seems cold and detached and maybe even whiny for a long time. But but but but but I'm in love with this book.
And I know why. I feel so close to Brandon that I hurt throughout the book. Not good enough. Not loved enough. Not useful enough. Not nice enough. Not funny enough. Not outgoing enough. The best compliment that he could receive: talented and closed off. The best way he could be perceived: cold, disinterested, distant. His blessing and damnation: falling in love with someone like Nicholas, who is the natural magnet of people's affection, basking in his spotlight and living with the fear of losing the everything he has become for him. Brandon loses himself completely in Nicholas, he is annihilated in his lover, who becomes the center and goal of his life.
Brandon's perspective of the events is twisted and bent like space-time around a black hole and although Nicholas is regarded as a sunny guy who brings joy and happiness in everyone's life, he ends up sucking away all of Brandon's energy and sanity, because Brandon goes through hell to keep him safe and content, up to the point of making Nicholas let him go. I think it's very significant that we hear about Brandon writing his music up until he meets Nicholas and then his music, which is his talent, becomes quite incidental in his life.
Although I complained about the flashbacks, I think they saved me because the story read in chronological order would have torn me apart. From the very first time Brandon and Nicholas meet, there is disdain, hate and violence around them, and in Brandon's flawed view they take center stage almost obnubilating their good times and achievements. When the narration switches to Nicholas, we finally see the sunnier side of the story, how Brandon is cherished by his lover. And thank you, dear Author, for breaking my heart all over again, because it becomes clear the time and strength Brandon wasted while thinking he was never good enough for Nicholas.
In all this ordeal there is a mystery to be unravelled regarding who has been blackmailing Brandon for ten years - Brandon and Nicholas are rockstars in the closet - and has had Nicholas kidnapped and tortured. I think it's pretty obvious, but the author kept her cards close to her chest and unsettled me in the second part of the book with disturbing behaviors by all the secondary characters involved. Very good.
The book is long, angsty, twisted, warped, confusing, but I think the author made an incredible portrait of Brandon's personality and it deeply resonated with me. I'd recommend it to patient people.
December 14, 2011
I picked up the second book on the advise of another reviewer. I did not realize it was part of a series, so I bought "A Red-Tainted Silence" to make sure I had background on all the characters from the second book, "Long Way Home." Now I am dreading reading book two because I really did not enjoy this book.
While the writing was solid and Ms. Gray shows promise as a romance writer the plot completely failed in its execution for me. Why? Completely unrealistic and melodramatic. I felt as if I was watching a Spanish telenova as at the end of every chapter there was a major reveal or cliffhanger which got more and more unbelievable as the long novel progressed. By the time I got to the dead deer in the protagonists' bed, this was very nearly a do not finish for me. But I held out, hoping that the book would improve -- it didn't.
The characterizations of Brandon and Nick were fine, in fact, I loved that they fell in love at first sight and endured so much together, but the plot ultimately dragged the love story down. I knew who the bad guy was 15 pages in, so that big reveal at the end was not a surprise. The bad guy's motivations made no sense to me and so I was lost there.
Also, for people with triggers, this is not the book for you. There are multiple rapes in it. MULTIPLE. Nick isn't abused once, but many times by many people, as is the other main character, Brandon. The rapes were the main focus of the plot and I hate it when sexual assault is used as a plot device. That did not work for me and was another unrealistic part of the book.
I thought I was getting a book about two rock stars in the closet and their relationship woes. What I got was a stalker-rapist-thriller that did not work on any level. First the police procedure was not researched. When one of the main characters is kidnapped the FBI are not involved, just local police. Second, when crazy stalker sets off a bomb, the ATF are not called in to investigate. And lastly when does protective custody mean Rolling Stone reporters can come in interview and take pictures of where the persons in protective custody are hiding? Wouldn't that make it easy for the bad guys to find you? Hello.
I just needed a little realism for this, just a little. What could have been a great love story between two bandmates turned into a angst-fest of rape, violence and a convoluted plot that had so many unbelievable twists and turns I gave up 35% of the way in. Not recommended.
(I hope book two is better and has less drama, stalkers and rapes because hot rock stars in love is a favorite plot of mine.)
While the writing was solid and Ms. Gray shows promise as a romance writer the plot completely failed in its execution for me. Why? Completely unrealistic and melodramatic. I felt as if I was watching a Spanish telenova as at the end of every chapter there was a major reveal or cliffhanger which got more and more unbelievable as the long novel progressed. By the time I got to the dead deer in the protagonists' bed, this was very nearly a do not finish for me. But I held out, hoping that the book would improve -- it didn't.
The characterizations of Brandon and Nick were fine, in fact, I loved that they fell in love at first sight and endured so much together, but the plot ultimately dragged the love story down. I knew who the bad guy was 15 pages in, so that big reveal at the end was not a surprise. The bad guy's motivations made no sense to me and so I was lost there.
Also, for people with triggers, this is not the book for you. There are multiple rapes in it. MULTIPLE. Nick isn't abused once, but many times by many people, as is the other main character, Brandon. The rapes were the main focus of the plot and I hate it when sexual assault is used as a plot device. That did not work for me and was another unrealistic part of the book.
I thought I was getting a book about two rock stars in the closet and their relationship woes. What I got was a stalker-rapist-thriller that did not work on any level. First the police procedure was not researched. When one of the main characters is kidnapped the FBI are not involved, just local police. Second, when crazy stalker sets off a bomb, the ATF are not called in to investigate. And lastly when does protective custody mean Rolling Stone reporters can come in interview and take pictures of where the persons in protective custody are hiding? Wouldn't that make it easy for the bad guys to find you? Hello.
I just needed a little realism for this, just a little. What could have been a great love story between two bandmates turned into a angst-fest of rape, violence and a convoluted plot that had so many unbelievable twists and turns I gave up 35% of the way in. Not recommended.
(I hope book two is better and has less drama, stalkers and rapes because hot rock stars in love is a favorite plot of mine.)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 21, 2011
I found this book way, way over the top. There is lots & lots of crying, misery, torture, all manners of assault, physical & emotional distress etc. that are suffered by both Brandon & Nicholas, that it's just pretty much unbelievable. (examples of unbelievable--Nicholas was so charismatic that he had tons of friends, so dedicated that he held down a couple jobs & went to school, & so nice that he performed a major favor for one of his friends. Yet he was homeless which caused him all kinds of problems. He couldn't get one of his friends to give him a place to stay? why not. Especially since the person he did this major favor for lived in a nice house with a father who was quite fond of Nick. This best friend who loved him so much, allowed him to live in a homeless shelter??? Not very believable)
I think I kept reading because I was hoping to see the light at the end of the torture, the pages that didn't have Brandon or Nicholas in tears, crying, in depression etc. It's a long book, which I don't mind. But after all the long buildup & we finally learn who is responsible for all the misery in their lives, the ending just falls flat. I liked Brandon & Nicholas but the author broke them and I just didn't believe in her being able to put them back together again. Obviously others disagree as this is a well reviewed book. I'd advise only read if you like major, major angst, hurt, pain, suffering and men who cry constantly.
I think I kept reading because I was hoping to see the light at the end of the torture, the pages that didn't have Brandon or Nicholas in tears, crying, in depression etc. It's a long book, which I don't mind. But after all the long buildup & we finally learn who is responsible for all the misery in their lives, the ending just falls flat. I liked Brandon & Nicholas but the author broke them and I just didn't believe in her being able to put them back together again. Obviously others disagree as this is a well reviewed book. I'd advise only read if you like major, major angst, hurt, pain, suffering and men who cry constantly.
October 2, 2011
OK I apologise in advance as this is going to be longwinded lol. But for me there were just too many things that anoyed or failed to make sence or were just totally unbelievable in this book for me to enjoy it.
This could of been a wonderful story if written right, but for me it was just a muddled messs with far too many characters and far to many sub plots.
This could of been a wonderful story if written right, but for me it was just a muddled messs with far too many characters and far to many sub plots.
July 21, 2012
This is an intense story of two men who met as teenagers and were immediately drawn together by infatuation and then love for each other and for the music they wrote and performed. However there are secrets between them, and each is haunted by past traumatic events and current demands that threaten to force them apart. The story swings back and forth between flashbacks of their first years, and a current time in which they are both recovering from serious injuries due to a kidnapping and rescue.
This was an involving read, with some moments that I really liked. (How rare is it to have a sexual first time that takes place between the two MC's and yet isn't perfect? I liked that.) The plot line had elements that I needed to just accept, for the flow of the book. This was especially true after the villain is revealed because his identity makes some details seem incongruous. The degree to which all the straight guys are physically comfortable with Nicholas was surprising too. But overall it was a smoothly absorbing read with a lot of angst and there are times when that really appeals to me as a reader.
This was an involving read, with some moments that I really liked. (How rare is it to have a sexual first time that takes place between the two MC's and yet isn't perfect? I liked that.) The plot line had elements that I needed to just accept, for the flow of the book. This was especially true after the villain is revealed because his identity makes some details seem incongruous. The degree to which all the straight guys are physically comfortable with Nicholas was surprising too. But overall it was a smoothly absorbing read with a lot of angst and there are times when that really appeals to me as a reader.
January 12, 2020
3.5 Stars
August 9, 2010
Wow. I knew this was considered a favorite of readers in the m/m genre and Jenre gave it a stunning review a while ago, but it still managed to surprise and delight me. This meaty story is full of angst, drama, pain, hardship, and it packs a heavy emotional punch. This is not a light read but it’s completely absorbing, engrossing, and interesting. This is definitely a story I’d read again and the length of the novel (500+ pages) may seem daunting but it’s the perfect length for the story, characterization, and final resolution. You really get to know the characters, all of them, and connect to their actions and fears. So don’t be daunted by the long story but dive in and you’ll be happy for it.
The blurb is actually an excerpt from the story and not a bad one to describe the essence of the book. We’re immediately introduced to Brandon, a young high school dropout desperately searching to make something of himself in the music world. What Brandon never counted on is that once he hears Nicholas sing, his search changes to Nicholas. Once they get together Brandon is consumed with protecting Nicholas, making him happy, and ensuring he’s taken care of – to Brandon’s own detriment. With two men so in love with each other, they almost destroy each other, their story is emotional, evocative, and fascinating.
The story is told in two parts, first from Brandon’s first person point of view then from Nicholas’ first person point of view. Despite the welcome addition of Nicholas’ thoughts in the later half of the story, everything revolves around Brandon – who revolves around Nicholas. From the moment they meet, the two are desperately in love. As they struggle to break out in the music world, a threat hangs over Brandon that forces him to endure years of suffering. The action is very character dependent and alternates between the present, with Brandon and Nicholas back together and determined to make things works, and the past, flashbacks detailing how Brandon and Nicholas met and eventually broke apart painfully.
I thought the mixture of styles works incredibly well. I know some readers aren’t fans of flashbacks but here they are essential to the story. Reading about Brandon and Nicholas’ past is interesting but painful. Every highlight in their relationship is quickly followed by a shadow, threat, or misunderstanding. Without having the respite of seeing the two happy, together, and committed, the unrelenting pain of their past would have overwhelmed the story and made it depressing. I’m a fan of angsty stories but there is a lot of angst and drama here. It’s nicely paced and spread out though so you’re never hit with too much at once and the mixture with present times helps keep the intensity level manageable.
One of the keys aspects to the story is Brandon’s suffering, caused by his own personality and actions. He spends over a decade giving in emotionally, physically, and finically to a blackmailer due to his own naivety. While this normally would have driven me crazy with a character, Brandon’s reasons, his suffering, deep isolation, and need for support – but never getting it – come across so authentically and so honestly that you can’t hate him for his actions. He’s not a weak character but he allows himself to be manipulated by everyone, Nicholas included. When his real personality is slowly shown in bits and pieces so that his family and friends can finally see the man they all thought they knew, I wish there had been more resolution. The friends and family feel badly but they constantly remind each other they couldn’t have known. Considering everything Brandon went through due to everyone choosing Nicholas over Brandon, it would have been nice if they apologized significantly more to Brandon.
The real star of the story is the characterizations. From Brandon’s wounded, deeply lonely personality to Nicholas energetic, attention loving contrast, the cast shines in their complexity. Brandon of course emerges as my favorite, even with his needless suffering, because he’s so complicated and isolated. His deep yearning for support, but rarely getting it, went so far that I didn’t always appreciate the supporting cast who rallied around Nicholas constantly. The worst offender of this is Brandon’s brother Jon who clearly adores Nicholas more than a straight man should and definitely more than his own beloved brother. So in this way Jon sometimes would irate me in scenes since he’s so biased and unintentionally hurtful. This is balanced however by the great female characters used well and the various relationships which are all complicated yet interesting.
The length of the story lets you really sink into these personalities and their life. Nicholas and Brandon love each other so much that they frequently hurt each other deeply. It’s never intentional and always painful but their opposite needs clash. Nicholas needs the adulation of crowds, the constant love and support of those around him, the energy and chaos of traveling, while Brandon simply needs Nicholas. It makes for a fascinating push and pull that may be dramatic, but well worth the time invested in reading. The great pace, crisp prose, and even intensity deliver a story that’s absorbing and easy to read while keeping the angst to a very manageable level. I easily recommend this as a must read.
The blurb is actually an excerpt from the story and not a bad one to describe the essence of the book. We’re immediately introduced to Brandon, a young high school dropout desperately searching to make something of himself in the music world. What Brandon never counted on is that once he hears Nicholas sing, his search changes to Nicholas. Once they get together Brandon is consumed with protecting Nicholas, making him happy, and ensuring he’s taken care of – to Brandon’s own detriment. With two men so in love with each other, they almost destroy each other, their story is emotional, evocative, and fascinating.
The story is told in two parts, first from Brandon’s first person point of view then from Nicholas’ first person point of view. Despite the welcome addition of Nicholas’ thoughts in the later half of the story, everything revolves around Brandon – who revolves around Nicholas. From the moment they meet, the two are desperately in love. As they struggle to break out in the music world, a threat hangs over Brandon that forces him to endure years of suffering. The action is very character dependent and alternates between the present, with Brandon and Nicholas back together and determined to make things works, and the past, flashbacks detailing how Brandon and Nicholas met and eventually broke apart painfully.
I thought the mixture of styles works incredibly well. I know some readers aren’t fans of flashbacks but here they are essential to the story. Reading about Brandon and Nicholas’ past is interesting but painful. Every highlight in their relationship is quickly followed by a shadow, threat, or misunderstanding. Without having the respite of seeing the two happy, together, and committed, the unrelenting pain of their past would have overwhelmed the story and made it depressing. I’m a fan of angsty stories but there is a lot of angst and drama here. It’s nicely paced and spread out though so you’re never hit with too much at once and the mixture with present times helps keep the intensity level manageable.
One of the keys aspects to the story is Brandon’s suffering, caused by his own personality and actions. He spends over a decade giving in emotionally, physically, and finically to a blackmailer due to his own naivety. While this normally would have driven me crazy with a character, Brandon’s reasons, his suffering, deep isolation, and need for support – but never getting it – come across so authentically and so honestly that you can’t hate him for his actions. He’s not a weak character but he allows himself to be manipulated by everyone, Nicholas included. When his real personality is slowly shown in bits and pieces so that his family and friends can finally see the man they all thought they knew, I wish there had been more resolution. The friends and family feel badly but they constantly remind each other they couldn’t have known. Considering everything Brandon went through due to everyone choosing Nicholas over Brandon, it would have been nice if they apologized significantly more to Brandon.
The real star of the story is the characterizations. From Brandon’s wounded, deeply lonely personality to Nicholas energetic, attention loving contrast, the cast shines in their complexity. Brandon of course emerges as my favorite, even with his needless suffering, because he’s so complicated and isolated. His deep yearning for support, but rarely getting it, went so far that I didn’t always appreciate the supporting cast who rallied around Nicholas constantly. The worst offender of this is Brandon’s brother Jon who clearly adores Nicholas more than a straight man should and definitely more than his own beloved brother. So in this way Jon sometimes would irate me in scenes since he’s so biased and unintentionally hurtful. This is balanced however by the great female characters used well and the various relationships which are all complicated yet interesting.
The length of the story lets you really sink into these personalities and their life. Nicholas and Brandon love each other so much that they frequently hurt each other deeply. It’s never intentional and always painful but their opposite needs clash. Nicholas needs the adulation of crowds, the constant love and support of those around him, the energy and chaos of traveling, while Brandon simply needs Nicholas. It makes for a fascinating push and pull that may be dramatic, but well worth the time invested in reading. The great pace, crisp prose, and even intensity deliver a story that’s absorbing and easy to read while keeping the angst to a very manageable level. I easily recommend this as a must read.
January 6, 2011
If you like men who cry--all the damn time and for no reason at all--then you'll love this one. Otherwise, it drags on far too long and the whodunit is formulaic at best. I wanted to drown these characters in all the tears they were shedding. This isn't the worst book out there, and apparently others have enjoyed it, but I'd rather read a New York City phone book than go through this again.
October 22, 2011
I don't know what I expected, based on the blurb and the reviews but My God, I never wanted this story to end.
Brandon is a young high school drop out, looking to create music. He is in a band with his brother and some friends, and looking for their big break. And a dependable lead singer. Oh, and yeah, Brandon is in the closet, afraid his family will find out he likes boys, and scared as hell to do anything about it.
Nicholas is a boy with a golden voice, certain to be a star with his charismatic stage appeal and beautiful voice.
When Brandon sees him in a high school performance, he immediately falls in love.
This wonderfully written story jumps back and forth for over ten years of ups and down and drama.
This book SANG for me. I loved both boys, but Brandon, my God, I wanted to just take him away and cradle him and make it all better for him. Ms. Gray created a thing of beauty here - I was in awe as the story unfolded and this boy just...broke and bled and stole my breath and my heart. Nicholas is a wonderful character, and the book would not be what it is without him, but Holy Christ, Brandon...
I am usually not a crier - but this book MOVED me in so many ways.
Get it. Read it. Treasure it.
Tom
Brandon is a young high school drop out, looking to create music. He is in a band with his brother and some friends, and looking for their big break. And a dependable lead singer. Oh, and yeah, Brandon is in the closet, afraid his family will find out he likes boys, and scared as hell to do anything about it.
Nicholas is a boy with a golden voice, certain to be a star with his charismatic stage appeal and beautiful voice.
When Brandon sees him in a high school performance, he immediately falls in love.
This wonderfully written story jumps back and forth for over ten years of ups and down and drama.
This book SANG for me. I loved both boys, but Brandon, my God, I wanted to just take him away and cradle him and make it all better for him. Ms. Gray created a thing of beauty here - I was in awe as the story unfolded and this boy just...broke and bled and stole my breath and my heart. Nicholas is a wonderful character, and the book would not be what it is without him, but Holy Christ, Brandon...
I am usually not a crier - but this book MOVED me in so many ways.
Get it. Read it. Treasure it.
Tom
June 12, 2011
THIS is how it's done! It's been a while since I've been grabbed by the collar of my shirt and shaken to within an inch of my life by a book. The framing of the story, in written (and later read) flashbacks, between the past and present day saved me from being unable to continue reading many, many times. I cried so much I got a headache, could barely put it down to sleep. When I DID sleep, I dreamt of them. The main characters have become part of my family, the imaginary one I keep in my head. Their love is epic, to be forever remembered, to be relished and enjoyed over and over. They truly became one.
The writing was superb, as was the editing. In fact, I haven't highlighted so many passages in any other book. It was lyrical. I experienced their pain, bewilderment, insecurities, love, certainly their lust, because the love scenes were among the best I've read in this genre. Authors use what they know to flesh out their fiction. For some reason, this story makes me feel like the writer was purging herself. Because no one can write about the painful experiences this book deals with, as extremely well depicted as they were, without having some kind of personal knowledge on the matter. There are no other books by her that I could find. Could it be the book served it's purpose and she had no more to write about? Maybe I'm wrong on this, I certainly hope so. But then it just goes to prove how very well written this book was.
This one is a keeper, and will be read and re-read over and over again through the years. If you loved Keeping Promise Rock like I did, this one is for you. Be ready with the tissues and acetaminophen.
The writing was superb, as was the editing. In fact, I haven't highlighted so many passages in any other book. It was lyrical. I experienced their pain, bewilderment, insecurities, love, certainly their lust, because the love scenes were among the best I've read in this genre. Authors use what they know to flesh out their fiction. For some reason, this story makes me feel like the writer was purging herself. Because no one can write about the painful experiences this book deals with, as extremely well depicted as they were, without having some kind of personal knowledge on the matter. There are no other books by her that I could find. Could it be the book served it's purpose and she had no more to write about? Maybe I'm wrong on this, I certainly hope so. But then it just goes to prove how very well written this book was.
This one is a keeper, and will be read and re-read over and over again through the years. If you loved Keeping Promise Rock like I did, this one is for you. Be ready with the tissues and acetaminophen.
October 12, 2012
It was really hard for me to decide how to rate this book. I just didn't care for it in the end and thought it was ok. The overall plot was just so SO unbelievable to me. The stolen music that was later turned into a hit by the thief, the blackmails, the dead deer in a house in a gated community, etc. The fact that Nicholas was supposed to be so charismatic and loved and adored by everyone yet he is repeatedly described as pudgy and awkward, gets beat up and picked on constantly and he cries incessantly! Then there was the whole story of Brandon and all he'd sacrificed and how everyone left him and clung to and supported Nicholas. I didn't feel like this was resolved. They were just like "Oh well, how could we have known. Not our fault." Brandon's dad being an ass never really got resolved either. Even after the big ending, he never said "sorry" or "I was wrong". Hell, I would have even taken "You deserved it"!
On the Positive side I liked how the story was told through Brandon's quasi-memoirs. I thought it flowed nice and added a unique appeal to the story. I enjoyed Brandon's character somewhat and liked seeing inside his sad broken heart.
If maybe some of the non-ending crying could have been cut out and a few things solidified I would have enjoyed this much more!
On the Positive side I liked how the story was told through Brandon's quasi-memoirs. I thought it flowed nice and added a unique appeal to the story. I enjoyed Brandon's character somewhat and liked seeing inside his sad broken heart.
If maybe some of the non-ending crying could have been cut out and a few things solidified I would have enjoyed this much more!
June 25, 2011
Wow, Wow, Wow...just WOW! I finished reading this last night but felt I needed to sleep on it before I could write my review. It's morning now and I am still no closer to being able to do this book justice.
The format worked for me - switching from present to past and back again, revealing the story in tantalizing tidbits. The first person POV, first Brandon then Nicholas, worked well. Amazingly, each MC was revealed more fully by the other narrator, painting a complex and detailed portrait.
This was an emotional, oft-times gut wrenching read that once or twice sucked the breath right out of me. The characters were flawed, yes, but so well and humanly drawn. I loved Nicholas, the whirlwind, the charismatic performer who drew all into his orbit, but it was Brandon,the white knight, the damaged boy, who took up residence in my heart and soul.
Go. Read. You'll be better for it.
The format worked for me - switching from present to past and back again, revealing the story in tantalizing tidbits. The first person POV, first Brandon then Nicholas, worked well. Amazingly, each MC was revealed more fully by the other narrator, painting a complex and detailed portrait.
This was an emotional, oft-times gut wrenching read that once or twice sucked the breath right out of me. The characters were flawed, yes, but so well and humanly drawn. I loved Nicholas, the whirlwind, the charismatic performer who drew all into his orbit, but it was Brandon,the white knight, the damaged boy, who took up residence in my heart and soul.
Go. Read. You'll be better for it.
October 2, 2011
As the book continued I couldn't connect myself emotionally with MC.
I liked:
1. the parts where writer described Brandon's relationship to the music and what he feel while playing
2. party at Karen's house
3. part of Brandon's diary where he wrote about how he felt after they signed a contract with recording studio
The book was so long that I felt numb in the end. There were also too many supporting characters. And the main plot (blackmailer, kidnapper) and it's solving was over the top and just unbelievable for me.
I liked:
1. the parts where writer described Brandon's relationship to the music and what he feel while playing
2. party at Karen's house
3. part of Brandon's diary where he wrote about how he felt after they signed a contract with recording studio
The book was so long that I felt numb in the end. There were also too many supporting characters. And the main plot (blackmailer, kidnapper) and it's solving was over the top and just unbelievable for me.
April 22, 2011
Really more like 2.5 stars. On one hand, this book was compelling enough to keep reading; on the other, the endless parade of very bad things that befall these characters is completely exhausting.
September 29, 2010
I enjoyed the story, even though I had the 'who done it' nailed right from the beginning (and I'm not the only one). My conviction barely wavered just once early, and that was only due to a misunderstanding on my part until that was cleared up a few pages later.
The ending was a bit abrupt, and there was a LOT of crying in this book (not from me - from the main characters), but I liked the story. I thought the mix of past and present was very well done and produced just the right amount of tension. I loved the characters, even as flawed as some of them were. The bodyguards are priceless.
Watching the characters gain some insight into each other was nice, if a bit highly frustrating for wanting to shake them of their own follies. But it makes them what they are, and they have the wherewithal to realize that.
I wish we'd had some more insight into some of the characters and situations which weren't discussed, but I realized at one point that there was too much additional detail to cover all of it in this story, even as long as it was. Some people definitely didn't think there was enough closure. I suppose it was enough for me, though they did seem to get over their abuses a bit too quickly.
4 stars, and a recommended read.
The ending was a bit abrupt, and there was a LOT of crying in this book (not from me - from the main characters), but I liked the story. I thought the mix of past and present was very well done and produced just the right amount of tension. I loved the characters, even as flawed as some of them were. The bodyguards are priceless.
Watching the characters gain some insight into each other was nice, if a bit highly frustrating for wanting to shake them of their own follies. But it makes them what they are, and they have the wherewithal to realize that.
I wish we'd had some more insight into some of the characters and situations which weren't discussed, but I realized at one point that there was too much additional detail to cover all of it in this story, even as long as it was. Some people definitely didn't think there was enough closure. I suppose it was enough for me, though they did seem to get over their abuses a bit too quickly.
4 stars, and a recommended read.
October 10, 2010
I was really conflicted reading this book. I ultimately gave it 4 stars because I was engaged the whole time, even though many things upset me about the story. I really enjoyed the Brandon narration and supported and related to his character, even with his flaws. But then the Nicholas narration kicked in and my mostly ambivalent feelings toward him turned into rage. He was such a selfish jerk in my mind, always thinking about himself first and how everything affected HIM, never mind the man who was supposedly the love of his life. I understand he had been through a tragic event himself, but his blindness to what was happening to Brandon was unforgivable.
In the beginning of the story, I was glad to see Brandon's brother Jon was so supportive to their relationship, but later on I was confused. Why would Jon act that way toward his brother's lover? Was he IN love with Nicholas, just live everyone else in this story seemed to be? Ugh. The only other person I connected with and enjoyed was Jenn. I was very glad to read that there was at least one person who was in Brandon's corner no matter what. Everyone else could just go jump in a lake.
So overall, I enjoyed the book, regardless of how frustrated it made me. It was heartbreaking at times, but worth the read.
In the beginning of the story, I was glad to see Brandon's brother Jon was so supportive to their relationship, but later on I was confused. Why would Jon act that way toward his brother's lover? Was he IN love with Nicholas, just live everyone else in this story seemed to be? Ugh. The only other person I connected with and enjoyed was Jenn. I was very glad to read that there was at least one person who was in Brandon's corner no matter what. Everyone else could just go jump in a lake.
So overall, I enjoyed the book, regardless of how frustrated it made me. It was heartbreaking at times, but worth the read.
November 11, 2014
It's been a while since I read anything that angsty. I'm good with angst. I like angst, but there can be too much of a good thing. And maybe that was part of the problem for me. 709 pages (as listed on Amazon) is a ton of angst. Don't get me wrong, Brandon and Nick are both likeable characters. Their story is completely tragic, yet strangely beautiful. It thoroughly answers the question, "What are you willing to do for someone you love?" You want to root for them from the beginning. Their love is strong and true and instant. (I never quite understood the strength of Brandon's feelings in the beginning, but could accept it.) For the most part, they have great friends. When the book begins, Nick has just been rescued by Brandon from a near death kidnapping. The story is told mainly from Brandon's point of view. Brandon and Nick's story is told through a series of present day circumstances and flashbacks. The whodunit aspect of it was interesting although I although I liked this book, I didn't love it. Maybe I need a reset button. 3.5 stars
November 3, 2017
Reading this book during the lead up to Christmas was probably not the best idea. It is a book that deserves more attention than I gave it; however by 60% of the way through it, I wasn't game to read it at night before I went to bed, because the storyline and events kept me awake. This severely limited my reading opportunity. (Yes - I'm a bit of a wus.)
But the two issues that keep repeating in my mind are (during and after completion of the book):
*Do I live in a near perfect world and am I therefore naive?
*Can a person subconsciously set themselves up to be a victim?
I just cannot fathom the set of circumstances, occurrences and outcomes that unfold during the narrative. I'm glad I have read this book, but I'm not going to be in a hurry to read the next book if it is along the same 'abusive' lines. I'll lose too much sleep :)
But the two issues that keep repeating in my mind are (during and after completion of the book):
*Do I live in a near perfect world and am I therefore naive?
*Can a person subconsciously set themselves up to be a victim?
I just cannot fathom the set of circumstances, occurrences and outcomes that unfold during the narrative. I'm glad I have read this book, but I'm not going to be in a hurry to read the next book if it is along the same 'abusive' lines. I'll lose too much sleep :)
September 4, 2010
I really enjoyed this story. It was an emotional ride from start to finish. I liked the change in perspective in that part 1 was in Brandon's voice, and the second half was in Nicholas' voice. I liked being able to see into the thoughts of the two main characters.
Now to what annoyed me...Oh the endless crying >:o\ Good grief, the breeze blew and they were bawling! I mean, I like a guy to be sensitive, but to cry at the drop of a hat? No. After a while I was like, really? are we crying again? Just seemed a bit much.
I did like the whole mystery of the story on "who was tormenting Brandon", "who kidnapped and tortured Nick?" However, I found the end to be a little "anti-climactic". It was a pretty long story. There is a lot to read to finally get to the part where you find out "who done it" and then a short epilogue that really doesn't address the significance of "who done it". The book didn't need to be any longer, but I just felt like I was jogging along, then running, and suddenly the road ended. Really? The two talked on and on for what seemed like forever and neither one is going to address the significance of Adams role other than the fact that they were "healing and moving past it"? Maybe for some that was sufficient but for me it felt like a big cresciendo (sp?) building up to what amounted to a whisper.
Despite my couple of gripes, I thought the character development was well done. I cared about the characters, especially Sprout and Mutt. The pacing was ok although I was a little tired at the end due to all the emotion and crying but it did have the right amount of angst and suspense. There were only a very small amount of typos which is something I can't help but pick up on. I appreciate an author that takes the time to make sure their work is ready to be published before doing so. It was a good read, and time well spent. My house was a total wreck over these past few days :o)
Now to what annoyed me...Oh the endless crying >:o\ Good grief, the breeze blew and they were bawling! I mean, I like a guy to be sensitive, but to cry at the drop of a hat? No. After a while I was like, really? are we crying again? Just seemed a bit much.
I did like the whole mystery of the story on "who was tormenting Brandon", "who kidnapped and tortured Nick?" However, I found the end to be a little "anti-climactic". It was a pretty long story. There is a lot to read to finally get to the part where you find out "who done it" and then a short epilogue that really doesn't address the significance of "who done it". The book didn't need to be any longer, but I just felt like I was jogging along, then running, and suddenly the road ended. Really? The two talked on and on for what seemed like forever and neither one is going to address the significance of Adams role other than the fact that they were "healing and moving past it"? Maybe for some that was sufficient but for me it felt like a big cresciendo (sp?) building up to what amounted to a whisper.
Despite my couple of gripes, I thought the character development was well done. I cared about the characters, especially Sprout and Mutt. The pacing was ok although I was a little tired at the end due to all the emotion and crying but it did have the right amount of angst and suspense. There were only a very small amount of typos which is something I can't help but pick up on. I appreciate an author that takes the time to make sure their work is ready to be published before doing so. It was a good read, and time well spent. My house was a total wreck over these past few days :o)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 17, 2010
This is an 'after-the-fact' review, since I was reminded of this book as a result of the September BOM nominations...
3.5
A very good novel, and would have been a solid 4, except for some craft and plot issues (Miss Gray relied too heavily on foreshadowing, overdramatization, and the psychological crisis was drawn out to become an entire production. In addition, others have already mentioned the rather awkward transition from Brandon's POV/narrative to Nicholas' - it would almost have been preferrable having a multitude of 3rd person POVs presenting the rest of the story to us in a piecemeal fashion, rather than having Nick do it, mainly because the reader is on Brandon's side throughout the entire story, and having Nick tell the rest of it was almost repellent).
However, the book was emotionally compelling and incredibly poignant, emphasizing how very far off the mark we can be when we think we really know the one we love (or when we think they tell us everything). Thought-provoking.
3.5
A very good novel, and would have been a solid 4, except for some craft and plot issues (Miss Gray relied too heavily on foreshadowing, overdramatization, and the psychological crisis was drawn out to become an entire production. In addition, others have already mentioned the rather awkward transition from Brandon's POV/narrative to Nicholas' - it would almost have been preferrable having a multitude of 3rd person POVs presenting the rest of the story to us in a piecemeal fashion, rather than having Nick do it, mainly because the reader is on Brandon's side throughout the entire story, and having Nick tell the rest of it was almost repellent).
However, the book was emotionally compelling and incredibly poignant, emphasizing how very far off the mark we can be when we think we really know the one we love (or when we think they tell us everything). Thought-provoking.
January 14, 2014
Oh good gravy!
700+ pages of pure angst.
So, I wasn't really digging part 1.
I wasn't connecting with Brandon as the narrator. It had a YA emo thing going on.
I looked at my progress bar almost every couple of %'s. It felt like it was dragging, we weren't getting to what I wanted to know fast enough. While I don't typically like flashbacks. And this book was a flashback with splashes of present day it worked out okay once the story line picked up.
So, I figured out who was behind the mystery very early. Like 19%, but the book did do a good job at making me rethink it during the story.
Then part two came!
(I'll be honest, I kinda moaned when I hit that page at 72%. This book was 709 pages! I had hundreds of pages left at this point!)-- someone needs to fix the 515 page count this is listed as!!!
Anyways, Nick was a much better narrator.
The book takes a dark turn a little around this point and really it is what makes this story so darn good.
I wish we would of got more at the end. I figure I suffered along with them I need some happy times! :)
700+ pages of pure angst.
So, I wasn't really digging part 1.
I wasn't connecting with Brandon as the narrator. It had a YA emo thing going on.
I looked at my progress bar almost every couple of %'s. It felt like it was dragging, we weren't getting to what I wanted to know fast enough. While I don't typically like flashbacks. And this book was a flashback with splashes of present day it worked out okay once the story line picked up.
So, I figured out who was behind the mystery very early. Like 19%, but the book did do a good job at making me rethink it during the story.
Then part two came!
(I'll be honest, I kinda moaned when I hit that page at 72%. This book was 709 pages! I had hundreds of pages left at this point!)-- someone needs to fix the 515 page count this is listed as!!!
Anyways, Nick was a much better narrator.
The book takes a dark turn a little around this point and really it is what makes this story so darn good.
I wish we would of got more at the end. I figure I suffered along with them I need some happy times! :)
November 6, 2010
This was a pretty great read. Characters are incredibly well done, great dialog, good pacing... I really liked it on a lot of levels. I didn't love the shifting between past and present day, but each transition was well done and clear so it wasn't confusing, I just felt like I'd get into one and then be pulled into the other so I never got truly engrossed until near the very end. In that respect it was like trying to read two books at the same time, which I hate doing. At the same time, though, it's well written and did eventually suck me in to where I didn't want to put it down. Yeah, the story is a little over the top, but it's done in such a matter of fact way that it never feels sensationalized or unbelievable, which seems like one of the story's greatest strengths next to the wonderful characters. Pretty great over all and I look forward to checking out more work by this author.
October 12, 2011
It's more like 4.5 stars but I will round up to 5.
This novel was angsty from beginning to end...but, I didn't cry. Is that good or bad, I'm not sure. I will say that the jump from the present to the past was giving me whiplash though. I prefer stories to run chronologically but it worked for this one.
Nick and Brandon has EVERYTHING going against them, absolutely anything and everything that could go wrong, went wrong. I hated Brandon's dad and his brother Adam. I also hated how there was no resolution with Brandon and his dad, I really thought he would grovel....he needed to damn it.
I guessed that Adam was a bad man but didn't realize how much...what a monster.
All in all, I loved this book. But never has a 500 page book felt more like a 1000 pages. If you are in the mood for non stop heartbreaking action...read this book.
This novel was angsty from beginning to end...but, I didn't cry. Is that good or bad, I'm not sure. I will say that the jump from the present to the past was giving me whiplash though. I prefer stories to run chronologically but it worked for this one.
Nick and Brandon has EVERYTHING going against them, absolutely anything and everything that could go wrong, went wrong. I hated Brandon's dad and his brother Adam. I also hated how there was no resolution with Brandon and his dad, I really thought he would grovel....he needed to damn it.
I guessed that Adam was a bad man but didn't realize how much...what a monster.
All in all, I loved this book. But never has a 500 page book felt more like a 1000 pages. If you are in the mood for non stop heartbreaking action...read this book.
July 20, 2011
I really didn't like the book, so the review is for the part I read (around 1/3 in). It had a lot "tell not show", redundancy in scenes, and as another reviewer so aptly analyzed constant foreshadowing and overdramatization. I couldn't get into it at all. I didn't like the dialogue, it really was soap opera level.
The plot sounded interesting, but the mediocre style sadly will prevent me from reading further.
The plot sounded interesting, but the mediocre style sadly will prevent me from reading further.
October 5, 2010
Very good, emotionally draining m/m romantic suspense about two successful musicians, who've loved each other since their teens, and the outside forces and people that have torn them apart and nearly destroyed them. Constantly switching between the present and the past, half the story is told from one's perspective; the rest from the others.
January 15, 2010
The moment I started reading this book I was hooked. I instantly fell in love with the characters. Their trials, pain, happiness and sadness all became mine. As I got toward the end I was shocked a couple of times by the events and the people but it all worked so well.
This is a must read.
This is a must read.
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