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A tender, funny and haunting coming-of-age novel which asks if the past can ever be part of your future.
Twenty-one and insecure, Vicky Hope comes up with a plan on the eve of travelling the world with her high flying friend, Kat Lloyd: if she isn't married by the time she's thirty, she'll marry her geeky best mate Mikey Murphy.
Fast-forward eight-and-a-bit years, Vicky, now Vee wakes up on her thirtieth birthday in Brighton, expecting a proposal of marriage from her arty boyfriend Jez. Instead he tells her their relationship is over and she has no choice but to return to her parents' home.
Devastated and alone in her childhood bedroom, she decides she has nothing to lose and tracks down her two old mates. With shock, she discovers Mikey, now Murphy, is a successful app designer driven by his tragic upbringing. Kat, or Kate, never made it - but she hides a devastating secret, which threatens the happiness of all three.
326 pages, Kindle Edition
Published January 1, 2017
"If only Vee had known that proper mates were so hard to come by, but in those days you took it for granted that life would be full of opportunities, not dead ends."
"Just then, Vicky had a moment. A shivery split-second thing which seized her and made her reach out and place her hand on his chest. Beneath his ripped Pulp T-shirt, she felt his heart thumping as fast as her own. She had actual butterflies."
No matter how badly she wanted things to be exactly how there were when she left, they will never be the same.
"But how did you make up for eight years of no contact when they’d fallen out on such bad terms?
What good would an apology do? You couldn’t turn back the clock to the good old days with a ‘sorry’ and expect to be best buds again."
"'Yeah, well,’ he sniffed, pressing his nose to hers, ‘You forced me into it, Victoria Anwen Hope, you forced me into it. I never wanted to be your back-up. I only ever wanted to be your first choice"