Leaving Deep Water: The Lives of Asian American Women at the Crossroads of Two Cultures

by Claire S. Chow

Explores how Asian women have learned to make a cultural transition to American society in order to find success in the working world while also managing to maintain their own identity, traditions, customs, and values. Reprint.

Genres: Nonfiction, Asian American, Asia, China, History, Psychology

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1998

Reviews

[Christina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like the aim and purpose of this book, but it got rote and repetitive. The author attempted to break it up into themes and motifs, but she didn't curate or paraphrase the stories, so a story from one chapter just blended into the story from another.

While I came at this book wanting to feel...reaffirmed, I didn't quite get that. Some of this was due to differences that are no fault of the author's, while others may have been more so.

On the downside, the author tended to gravitate towards stories that were more similar to her own. There was an overwhelming number of stories about women who grew up hating their ethnicity, who married a Caucasian, and who ended up in the Bay Area. Even most of the women who could tell stories about growing up outside of California ended up in the Bay Area.

The author described growing up with a strong sense of self-hatred because of her ethnicity, and I don't know if that affected the stories she highlighted in the book. I felt as if the book was more about catharsis and self-affirmation for her rather than a holistic view of the lived experiences of Asian American women.

Now, all of this may have been due to the time. Published in 1998, this book reflects Asian American women whose parents came here on very different terms than the current second-generation Asian Americans. A lot of stories from Japanese women were affected by being interned or having parents who were interned. Many women had moms who were essentially mail-order or arranged brides, and while some of that is still true, I think it is less common with today's 2nd gen Asian Americans.

Personally, I feel as if the largest gap is due to technological advances since this book was published. The internet, for me at least, strongly shaped how I identify. Being able to find sites such as Asian Avenue connected me with a wider network of Asian Americans across North America, making the feelings of racism and isolation less prevalent. Additionally, watching YouTube videos, a place where Asian American independent artists have a strong presence, also reaffirms my lived experiences and makes me able to laugh at my situation and feel more normalized, something that many of the women whose stories were shared in this book didn't have.

Overall, still a great book, but not 5 stars for me personally because it doesn't strike as personal of a chord as I was looking for. Not really the author's fault. Maybe partially.

[Zoe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Claire Chow writes about what its like being a women from a multicultural background growing up in America. She breaks down myths and stereotypes surrounding Asian American struggles and explores how we can find a place in a Western culture. Although this book doesnt talk about adoption, I found some parts incredibly relatable. This extract resonated with me:

“What, then, does it mean to be Asain American? To me, it means living in a place where I don’t look much like anyone else but in most respects act like them, knowing all the time that halfway across the globe is a densely populated region full of people who look just like me but don’t particulary act like me. It means forever holding the contradition of belonging and not belonging, or feeling “at home” and wondering where home is. It means living with other people’s ideas about me, ideas that often do not coincide with the person I really am. It means doubting my self-concept. It means working to overcome sterotypes. It means sometimes playing sterotypes to my advantage. It means occasionally still wishing I was white. It means occasionally still feeling the sting of shame about my ethnicity trickling out from its hidden places. It means wishing, just this once, that someone could step into my shoes and see what life if like from my perspective.”

Although she is talking about the Asian American community, (and I am Asian American) it also really resonates with my adoptive story and how I feel being anywhere, in the UK or America.

I will admit that I skim read this book. I found it repetitive and there were too many stories. I also did not resonate with the Asian American upbringing because they had Asian parents and Asian culture.

[Marissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an interesting compilation of stories told by a group of Asian American women. (East Asian, Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Vietnamese, and Thai) This book discusses relationships that different Asian American women have with thier families, American society, their spouses/significant others, their children, and their own ideas about identity. I don't like the autor- she seems very detached and there were a few women, who I did want to smack upside the head. But overall I think it was a worthwhile read and it did teach me a few things about understanding the way I think.

[Connie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book, discusses relationships of mother/daughter in modern day society, the pressure of marriage, sexuality, and especially the guilt trip our mothers give to us. I definitely recommend reading for all females who are trying to figure out their mothers, and why we cant say no.

[Tu]

these essays echo the asian-american female experience pretty well.

[pjr8888 · Rating 5 out of 5]

my copy is dedicated by the author:

To Paul:
Thanks so much
for your presence
here.
Clair S. Chow

[Marleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Claire Chow a licensed family counselor has written a book about the challenges Asian American women have being a minority in a white dominated culture. Each chapter explores through first hand stories issues of growing up, relationships, work, race, and growing old. There were so many stories but there should have been more analysis of how many of the stories are a result of being marginalized in a white predominate culture.

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed the diversity of voices within the Asian American female community. Book was published in 1998, so it is quite dated as to attitudes. Seems a book for the author to justify her feelings of growing up as “other” in the U.S. The author’s candidness also turned whiny about how hard it was for her. Also, the story of the woman who said she never experienced discrimination seemed disingenuous. Well, good for her for living a fantasy.