Rarely have I bothered to review books in the past, but this deserves a moment of reflection. I just waded through a few hundred pages of utterly inane bullshit, which is unfortunate because this is both the first book of 2017 I finished, and because it was reviewed by io9 as 'the Da Vinci Code but with movies.' This is not the case. The Da Vinci Code is certainly not a high-class or even high-quality novel, but it is at least an intriguing, decently written, fluffy little thriller that I personally love for being as cheesily outlandish as it is. The Da Vinci Code has heart. This book does not.
To be brief, because this doesn't deserve much more of my time: the characters are flat, unlikable, cliche, and boring. The main character is clearly a self-insert hero type who ended up being the least likable person in the entire novel. The dialogue is cringe-worthy no matter the subject, and there's no flow to the writing at all. The romance is somehow both incredibly laughable (because it is so unbelievable) and tedious. The only two women of any note (beyond incredibly brief side characters) are, of course, tied directly to the romance, and there are multiple instances of casual misogyny - of the type that makes most women roll their eyes and sigh. This book was definitely written by a man, if you know what I mean, and the whole effect is made worse by the lack of style, form, or seemingly effort.
While there's a little intrigue in the plot, I ended finishing the book just to see where the hell the author was going. I only finished because I was waiting for how it all tied together - the ending was, by the way, incredibly unsatisfying and rather boring - and also because the writing was so overwhelmingly juvenile I could afford to skim the majority of the book quickly, especially since I'd seen 'Room 237' on an offhand whim a few years ago. Maybe the book was so boring to me because I don't have a perpetual hard-on for Kubrick, but even a Kubrick stan would be yawning during any scenes meant to be "tense". Theoretically, this is a thriller. In practice, this novel is simply very, very poorly written and a huge disappointment.
I don't want to take away from the initial vision of the book - there's a reason I downloaded it for $2 on kindle. The premise has potential and it's clear the author put time in to making the connections and coming up with the puzzle. He's apparently made a real-life treasure hunt of sorts, and I would like to completely divorce my review of this novel from that effort, because it's probably a decent puzzle. The novel itself, however, is not worth the four hours it took me to read it, the $2 I spent on it, or even the ten minutes it took to write this review. If you're interested in Kubrick or movies or secret-society thrillers, I recommend watching a few conspiracy videos or Kubrick analyses on youtube. Don't waste your time here.