Saving Charlotte: A Mother and the Power of Intuition

by Pia de Jong

When her newborn daughter Charlotte is diagnosed with a rare and deadly leukemia, Pia and her husband Robbert make a momentous decision: they reject potentially devastating chemotherapy and instead choose to “wait for what will come.” As the following year unfolds, Pia enters a disorienting world of doctors, medical procedures, and a colorful cast of neighbors and protectors in her native Amsterdam. Her seventeenth-century canal house becomes her inner sanctum, a private “cocoon” where she sweeps away distractions in order to give Charlotte the unfiltered love and strength she needs. Pia’s instinctive decision, now known as “watchful waiting,” has become the standard medical protocol for Charlotte’s type of leukemia.

This deeply felt memoir reveals the galvanizing impact one child can have on a family, a neighborhood, and a worldwide medical community. Vivid and immersive, Saving Charlotte is also a portrait of one woman’s brave voyage of love, of hope, and, in its inspiring climax, of self-discovery.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Roman, Biography Memoir

256 pages, Hardcover

First published January 26, 2016

About the author

Pia de Jong is a best-selling novelist and a regular contributor to the Washington Post. She lives in Princeton, New Jersey, with her husband Robbert Dijkgraaf, director of the Institute for Advanced Study, and their three children, including Charlotte.

Reviews

[Joyce · Rating 2 out of 5]

Om maar meteen met de deur in huis te vallen: ik vond dit niet zo'n goed geschreven boek. Tegelijkertijd voel ik me dan heel vilein, want het waargebeurde verhaal (een baby die wel of niet zal sterven) is natuurlijk vreselijk. En de ouders van Charlotte moeten door een hel zijn gegaan. Maar precies dat komt in dit boek niet zo erg naar voren. Iemand anders hier noemde het taalgebruik "bloemig" en dat vind ik wel passend. Je ziet nog net geen elfjes en eenhoorns (en blauwe meertjes, veel blauwe meertjes!) rondlopen. Dat ligt misschien aan het feit dat de schrijfster alles wat ze ziet opschrijft en, veel erger nog, vervolgens daar telkens een vergelijking aan hangt. Een beeldspraak. Zo sla ik even een bladzijde open:

(over de blauwe plekken van haar dochter): "...Zijn ogen zijn net zo blauw als de geheimzinnige meertjes op haar huid. Traag drijft de tijd weg, als zomerwolken op een namiddag aan zee."

"Zijn doktersjas fladdert achter hem aan tot er nog maar een stipje van over is. Als een laatste licht dat in huis gedoofd wordt."

Als (!) ik een "als..." tegenkwam in het boek, maakte ik me alweer op voor weer een zinloze vergelijking.

Dan de inhoud weer: al lijkt het een emotioneel boek qua schrijfstijl, van de echte emoties van dit gezin kom je nauwelijks iets te weten. Hoewel de schrijfster lovend is over de relatie met haar man, zit hij vooral nachten te werken aan "ingewikkelde berekeningen", zo lezen we ook meer dan eens, de twee oudere kinderen zijn zeer eendimensionaal, de mensen in de buurt (die allemaal een rol spelen) blijven eendimensionaal, en ook de schrijfster zelf blijft zeer op de vlakte over wat ze nu echt van alles vindt. Ik heb geen moment verdriet mede gevoeld met haar, laat staan een traan gelaten, terwijl een stervende baby normaal genoeg is om me dagen over de zeik te helpen.

Bezint eer gij begint, dus!

[Marijke · Rating 3 out of 5]

Aangrijpend relaas / dagboek van een jonge moeder die een moeilijke tijd doormaakt met haar pasgeboren, zieke baby. Emotionele vertelling, mooi uitgewerkt maar ik vond de afronding niet zo 'af'. In het laatste stuk raakte ik haar qua invoelbaarheid een beetje kwijt.

[Marije · Rating 5 out of 5]

De wanhoop en liefde droop van het boek af. Puur!

[Jennifer Ladd · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every chapter reads like an essay on experiencing the unknowns of grief and of hope. This is not about medicine and diagnosis but this family’s journey and how they weather it together.

[L T · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very quick read for me but that shows how much I enjoyed the book. Saving Charlotte is a true story. Charlotte is the third child of a family with 2 little boys. When her newborn daughter Charlotte is diagnosed with a rare and deadly leukemia, Pia and her husband Robbert make a momentous decision: they reject potentially devastating chemotherapy and instead choose to “wait for what will come". Throughout the book, I marveled at where they lived( I could not understand living next door to a brothel), nor could I understand how calm the family appeared with their decision to do nothing for Charlotte. I don't know what I would do in a similar circumstance, however thinking of the devasting effects of chemotherapy, maybe I would choose the same. The characters were all well written so much so that I could see and hear them. The story is sad but empowering. It might give hope to other families with ill children, but I know it made me feel blessed to have had healthy children and grandchildren.

[Stephanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Biography #14 of my Library Biography challenge.

Quick Read

I was pretty excited about this book because I found the premise interesting and of course, I have a Charlotte of my own.

I was somewhat disappointed by the book. The author starts by describing their family home and the coming of her first two children. Once Charlotte arrives, deJong does not directly deal with her emotions and how they handle Charlotte's experience. Instead deJong mostly speaks through dreams and short conversations with those who visit. Much of the story surrounds the neighborhood in which Pia & Robbert raise their children.

Pia deJong writes well but I just didn't feel connected or inspired by her writing. She also doesn't give much information, the book is mostly about the motions and feelings of living through a sickness.

[Linda Bogaard · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read the book. It was especially interesting to me because of the Amsterdam location. The neighborhood where the family lived definitely had it's unique in habitants. Shows how those we might have dismissed really became strong support for the mother and the family as they struggle through this first year of Charlotte's severe illness. A reminder once again "you can't judge a book by its cover" - God uses the unexpected to work in our lives and bless us. Also give credit to the parents for deciding they're going to get through this together when so many couples are torn apart during a child's trauma. I don't know that the main character does, but I give credit to God for the healing of Charlotte.

[Jenny · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I was drawn to this book from the time I first heard about it, and it was certainly an emotional read. The pacing was tedious for me at times; I personally felt that the endless descriptions of the author's dreams during her daughter's illness got a little repetitive, though I do appreciate her unique way of processing grief. The book felt like it jumped around a bit and had a tough time keeping focus. In the end, though, I did feel warmth for the various strange people who had provided emotional support to this family during their time of sorrow, and I wept during the last pages as the author wrote her concluding remarks. In short? Not without its flaws, but still worth the read.

[Femke · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ik weet eigenlijk niet zo goed wat ik nou van dit boek moet denken. Het is een mooi verhaal over liefde en familie maar ik vind het allemaal nogal ongeloofwaardig.

[Evelien Bruins · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sentimenteel, alsof je de libelle aan het lezen bent. Wel vlot geschreven, had het in een dag uit.

[Daniëlle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mooi verhaal, maar ik vond het niet heel meeslepend geschreven. Het bleef een beetje vlak.

[Rachael · Rating 3 out of 5]

A strange book- it's more a stream of consciousness about the author in Amsterdam than an account of her experiences with her sick child. Disappointing.

[Pam Coon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the story of a delicate baby girl, born to Pia de Jong in a 17th century canal house in Amsterdam's old quarter. Pia is a wonderful writer and the reader is swept into her family's life, her husband Robert, and their two young sons, full of energy and love, the home itself (its multi-stories become alive with the noises of the little boys), and the people around their rundown neighborhood. The reader will notice Pia's warmth in accepting her next door neighbor (a prostitute), the old man across the street who tracks her every movement and also lovingly cares for his very, very elderly mother, and the near-by park caretaker who shows kindness to every child who crosses his path. Charlotte is the baby girl and she is born with a blue spot on her spine which soon begins to multiply. A visit to the nearby hospital results in the devastating news that she has a very deadly form of leukemia and the only known treatment is chemotherapy. But Charlotte is but days old, and the outcome for most babies born with this is death, with or without chemo treatments. So Pia and her husband decide to reject the chemo and take Charlotte home to love and nurture the best they know. It is at home that Charlotte is surrounded by love from everyone around her, and eventually to even the sweet neighbors who embrace her with visits and small gifts. It is in this loving environment that sickly baby Charlotte begins to grow stronger. This is a story of survival: Charlotte's fight, and her mother's fight. And miraculously, survival wins.

[Nina · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a powerful memoir that reads like a novel. I can only imagine what Pia felt when she was told her newborn child would die well before her first birthday, could die in days or even weeks. The baby's cancer could be treated, but the treatments were not tolerated well, the success rate was low, and the baby would probably die anyhow. This mother had the courage to say no to the treatments and allow her daughter's body to heal on its own. I would not recommend such a decision except under the those circumstances in which Pia and her family was facing. She was blessed in that her daughter experienced spontaneous remission without chemo. With chemo, the child probably would have died from the side effects. Her husband was amazing in his unconditional support for her and his belief in her intuition. What an amazing family! I won this book through GoodReads!

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Pia de Jong's 3rd child is born they discover that she has a rare form of leukemia. The chemo is very hard on newborns and prognosis is grim so Pia and her husband decide not to have her treated and instead bring her home for as long as they can, though Charlotte does visit the doctor weekly. This is a memoir of the first year of Charlotte's life when they were afraid she would not live to see her 1st birthday. The de Jong's lived in Amsterdam at the time, and it was interesting to learn about the culture and neighborhood they lived in. They somewhat isolated themselves as they waited to see what would happen with Charlotte, and it was so sad to read about the preparations they made for the worst. Luckily it's not a total tear jerker!

[Donia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poetic memoir from a mothers perspective, how she survived living with the deadly illness of her newborn baby daughter. There were parts of this memoir that were lovely and brought me to tears; poetic. Other parts were extremely obscure and I don't know if clarity was lost in translation or in the writing but they were so obscure that I skimmed page after page. Parts of this memoir I would give 1 star because there was such obscurity; but in the end I'll give it 3 stars for the beautiful passages that it contains in some sections. I found the focus on the neighborhood of the most interest . I found the dreamy sections about "Sammy" to be confusing and unfocused and it was this view that lessened the book for me.

[Laura Bergen · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5/5
(English review below)

Ontroerend boek van een moeder die opeens hoort dat haar pasgeboren dochter een rare vorm van leukemie heeft en dat ze waarschijnlijk binnenkort zal sterven. Prachtig schrijfstijl en bijzonder eerlijk, het lijkt een heel goed geschreven dagboek van haar gedachten, haar gevoelens, haar perceptie van de rest van de wereld, die opeens ver weg lijkt. Een aanrader.

--

Beautiful autobiographical book about a mother who's been told that her newborn baby will probably die soon because of leuchemia. The style is captivating and lyrical, and the story is told with honesty, as if it was the author's diary: she tells her emotions, her thoughts, her fears and her perception of the rest of the world, which suddenly seems so far away from her. Really nice read.

[Elsbeth Kwant]

An impressive story of a mother dealing with a daughter born with leukemia - she retreats into her home in Amsterdam and keeps life small. She writes about this very well, taking you along in her love of her husband (scientist Robbert Dijkgraaf), in their shock at the diagnosis, their strength in taking their own road to deal with that, living with the imminent death of their daughter and her slow but eventual recovery, the reaction of their small sons and the closing of this chapter of their life by their move to Princeton. I think this writing must have been cathartic and sharing that felt special. Of course I should have read this in Dutch, but I picked this up in English in Waterstones in Amsterdam. It didn't lose in the telling.

[Rhonda Lomazow · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest raw drew me right in Pia de Jong gives birth to her third child her beautiful daughter Charlotte .From minutes into her birth the midwife notices a blue mark on her back &from that moment Pia knows something is wrong with her daughter. Pia&her husband make a radical decision about her treatment.This lovely family their close neighbors even the neighborhood prostitute who unknown to Pia lights candles for the baby each night at the church.With all the dark in this book their is Pia her wonderful husband&their two children to tell this real life drama,Highly recommend.

[Libbydale · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a wonderfully written memoir. I like De Jong's succinct writing style that also paints the picture. I can see their house, the neighborhood, and their children and neighbors. I would recommend this book for anyone who wants a memoir about mothering an infant, having a sick child, has lost a child, or who simply enjoys engaging memoirs. Its not too long. Its a quick read. I'm enjoying it. I received a prepublication copy from Goodreads Giveaways. I believe the book is available now or soon (July)!

[Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book very quickly as I loved the author's writing, her open heartedness to her very quirky and flawed neighbours, the description of her Amsterdam neighbourhood, in addition to her description of what it felt like to be a mom with a baby who was born with a terminal illness and the surprising developments along the way. I almost gave it a five but there are parts in the book that live in a zone between reality and imagination and at times it felt like reading fiction. Nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoyed this story.

[Tracey A. Stark · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was sad and yet empowering. The characters were so real and believable. It strengthens the belief that Mother's know their children best. You don't really know if Sammy is real or was just her self coping mechanism. I would highly reccommend this book to all parents. It will give strength to those with ill children, and let parent's of healthy children realize their blessings.
Reccommended for all parents!!

[Laurie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful writing. Hard to put down. Loved it.

"Here is what I know. It is August. I have a daughter. Her name is Charlotte. She sleeps in the crook of my arm, where she pinches a nerve. It hurts, but I don't care. She still lives, she still breathes. I can still smell the sweetness of summer in her hair. It's real,
here and now, and for that very reason I let myself be embraced by her scents. I try to become her smells."

[Renee · Rating 3 out of 5]

True story. Not sure about the title ‘saving charlotte’ (the daughters name is Charlotte and she lives however did they save her? no, God did) and what initiation their was except of doing nothing. More about how a mother copes with a cancer stricken baby. The story takes place in Amsterdam and the Neighborhood where the family lived definitely had unique neighbors for an example a hooker across the way.

[Sjalotjemaria · Rating 5 out of 5]

2 days it took me to finish this book. I took it everywhere to read it. I loved how Pia took me with her in her one year cocon journey and how she took care of Charlotte and her boys. How she was in contact with her neighbours and what the social contact during this cruel time made her survive.

She took me all the way, I felt her grief, her insecurities, her sadness, lonliness. But also her happiness and the need to live in a cocon for this year.

Just loved it.

[Margit · Rating 3 out of 5]

Received an ARC for review.

Despite the title, the book was not about saving Charlotte or the power of intuition but it was about a mother and how she copes with a possibly terminally ill child for the first year of the child's life. It speaks to any woman who is a mother and has gotten up in the middle of the night to watch her baby breathe.

[Kristen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I thought I would really like this book, but the writing was so detached and unemotional that I found myself not really caring about the family one way or the other. You would think that a book about a baby with leukemia would be touching or scary or heartwarming or SOMETHING, but this was just a big fat nothing.

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A baby is born..something is not right. Her parents do not follow the hospital orders. They choose to live in a shady part of Amsterdam, and make friends with the street people. The tension is thick, and one wonders where the story will go. Life is precious. One day at a time. I wish that every child could have parents like these.

[Dena · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this could have been a better book. I just didn't like the approach. I feel like I know nothing really about the family. It was just how the mother dealt with the illness of her daughter, you didn't really get to the know the husband or the other children and how they dealt with things.. It just left me wanting more.

[S.G.Radonsky · Rating 3 out of 5]

a good read. A different style of writing. I like that she brought in different characters surrounding her immediate concern of her daughter's illness; the prostitute, the holocaust survivor, the bookstore owner, the baker each brought into play an important aspect of the mother's survival. A supportive husband - wow. I am happy that Charlotte survived!