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From Ant to Eagle

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My name is Calvin Sinclair, I'm eleven years old and I have a confession… ...I killed my brother.

It's the summer before grade six and Calvin Sinclair is bored to tears. He’s recently moved from a big city to a small town and there's nothing to do. It’s hot, he has no friends and the only kid around is his six-year-old brother, Sammy, who can barely throw a basketball as high as the hoop. Cal occupies his time by getting his brother to do almost anything: from collecting ants to doing Calvin’s chores. And Sammy is all too eager - as long as it means getting a "Level" and moving one step closer to his brother's Eagle status.

When Calvin meets Aleta Alvarado, a new girl who shares his love for Goosebumps books and adventure, Sammy is pushed aside. Cal feels guilty but not enough to change. At least not until a diagnosis makes things at home start falling apart and he's left wondering whether Sammy will ever complete his own journey...

From Ant To Eagle.

256 pages, Paperback

First published April 1, 2017

22 people are currently reading
1561 people want to read

About the author

Alex Lyttle

2 books81 followers
Alex Lyttle is a pediatrician living in Calgary, Alberta with his wife and four children. He was raised in London, Ontario - the setting of his first novel, From Ant to Eagle, which he wrote based on his experiences working in the Pediatric Oncology unit. When he is not working, writing or playing basketball, he enjoys learning new magic tricks to perform for his young patients.

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 159 reviews
Profile Image for Deanna .
742 reviews13.3k followers
May 30, 2017
My reviews can also be seen at: https://deesradreadsandreviews.wordpr...

FROM ANT TO EAGLE is novel for children ages ten and up. The author is a pediatrician and based this novel on some of his experiences working in the pediatric oncology unit.

Calvin Sinclair is 11 years old and tells us this is a story about his brother, six-year-old, Sammy.

He wants us to know that he loved his brother. Like any other brother he picked on Sammy, but deep down of course he loved him. The second thing he wants us to know is that...

He's the one that killed Sammy.

The summer after moving to a small town "The boonies", Calvin and Sammy didn't have much to do. They didn't even have a TV. Calvin entertained himself by manipulating Sammy into doing his chores. Sammy wanted to achieve the level of Eagle that his brother had. Calvin told him he would help him but that he had to listen to him in order to earn it. Calvin was skilled at getting Sammy to do what he wanted him to do.

For example "Operation Bee Elimination". But when the operation fails - with many battle scars, Calvin gives Sammy the thing he knows his brother wants more than anything. A level.

"After long hours of meticulously examining every detail of today's operation, the committee has decided to award you your next level"

Nothing could make Sammy happier. Calvin started the level system two years before (basically to make Sammy do anything Calvin wanted). Starting with Ant onto beetle ,worm, snail, rabbit...

These were all for things like eating a worm, stealing food from the fridge for Calvin, or for taking the blame for things he hadn't done. After Sammy achieved a level, Calvin wrote in a journal, signing and dating it to make it official. Of course Calvin is at the highest level of Eagle even though he's never done anything to get it. He told Sammy it all happened before he was born and of course, Sammy believed him.

Having no one but Sammy to play with was hard for Calvin. But Sundays were the worst. Sunday mornings meant church with itchy and uncomfortable clothing. But the day Aleta and her family come to church that all changes. Suddenly, Sundays aren't so bad. Not only was Aleta pretty, but she also read RL Stine books just like he did. When she hid the Goosebumps book in her Hymn book in Church, Calvin knew they would soon be friends. But Aleta has some secrets. She's often quiet and sad. She tells Calvin she doesn't want to talk about it and he respects that.

Calvin wants to spend all of his time with Aleta and it annoys him that Sammy wants to come a long with them. He finds a way to keep Sammy occupied so he can spend time with Aleta. This works until his mother realizes what he's doing. Calvin agrees to start taking Sammy with him.

But all of a sudden Sammy isn't feeling very well. Fevers and night sweats leave him exhausted and unable to do very much.

Then a diagnosis rocks the family to the core.

This was an excellent read. Not only is it a very good story but it helps provide an understanding of things that a lot of children would normally have a hard time understanding. Words like diagnosis, treatment, prognosis and many medical terms are broken down into easy to understand examples. I learned many things myself. And while the story is very realistic, the author handles the serious issues in a very sensitive manner.

FROM ANT TO EAGLE is a well-written novel. I thought this might be a very upsetting read due to the subject matter, and I did shed quite a few tears, but this is a story about more than just illness and sadness. There's love, family, friendship,forgiveness, hope, and much more. And while it was sad at times, there were many endearing and funny parts as well.

I believe this book would be good for a variety of readers. It does say age 10 + on my copy but I think that depends on the child who is reading it. For many children this would be fine. In other cases if a child is still too young in either age or maturity, I believe that reading this book with an adult could be an excellent way of helping to open up the lines of communication, while still reading a very good story.

An unforgettable, entertaining, and inspiring read. Alex Lyttle did an excellent job of bringing his characters to life. The powerful dynamics of friendship and love. The relationships and friendships portrayed were wonderful and heartwarming to read. Sammy and Cal are terrific characters with an incredible bond that shines throughout the story. They are characters that won't soon be forgotten.



Thank you, Alex Lyttle for providing a physical copy of this book for me to read in exchange for my honest review.
Profile Image for Always Pouting.
576 reviews999 followers
February 21, 2018
The summer before sixth grade Calvin meets Aleta and he is instantly smitten. Since moving from London Calvin has had less to do, having to spend most of his days with his little brother Sammy. Now with Aleta around though Calvin begins to spend less time with Sammy, sneaking away in the mornings and leaving Sammy with 'missions' to complete to keep him occupied. Sammy spends the summer trying to dunk 100 basketballs in one day, to try and make Calvin happy and complete his 'mission', but eventually gives up on trying to get Calvin's attention. Though Sammy is sick through out the summer and loses a lot of weight, it gets attributed to the physical activity. Then on the first day back to school, Sammy collapses and has a seizure, and everything changes for Calvin.

I know this is a children's book so like maybe I'm being unfair but like the book was just depressing and made me feel bummed out but I didn't enjoy it much. I just don't get why right off the bat we're told Sammy dies. What is the point in reading the book if we already know that. And in the beginning of the book it's made to seem like Sammy gets sick because Calvin is too busy with Aleta all summer to notice that his brother is sick but then and like what the heck which one is it Calvin, because he's telling us this all in the past tense after reflecting but like there should be more cohesion then.

It's not a bad book, it's just probably not written for me because I'm like 22 and belligerent and just cried because it was such a sad thing and so then I was just kind of angry that I had to read about a dying child and there wasn't enough of a cohesive story line and I just got nothing out of it because I'm just upset like what the heck. It probably be better for kids though, especially those starting to learn about death and loss and deal with those things.
Profile Image for Jacob.
285 reviews121 followers
June 24, 2017
My name is Calvin Sinclair, I'm eleven years old and I have a confession… ...I killed my brother.


This book shattered me. This is only the second novel I have ever read in one day, the first being A List of Cages by Robin Roe. This book is heart-breaking, gut-wrenching, and awe-inspiring. Mr. Lyttle's background with pediatrics helped make this novel even more realistic, which was good and bad. Good because it made it easier to read, but bad because it made it even more heart-breaking.

Cal, short for Calvin, Sinclair is about to start 6th grade while his brother Sammy is about to start 2nd grade. They have recently moved from a big city to a small town and Cal is bored to tears. The title of this story comes from different "levels" Sammy can earn, usually by doing his brother's chores or doing some unrealistic task to keep him away from his brother. The lowest level is Ant while the highest level is Eagle His brother meets Aleta Alvarado, the new girl in town who shares Cal's interests in Goosebump books and adventure. Soon, Cal starts spending all of his time with Aleta leaving Sammy to feel left out. This continues for the summer until one day, during school, something happens to Sammy that will change the Sinclair family forever.

The only complaint, however, I had with this book is that Cal's narration was almost too mature. There were times when I forgot that he was a 6th grader. This is a minor problem and does in no way take away from the story. I highly recommend this book to fans of the book Wonder by R. J. Palacio, but i think that any reader will enjoy this excellent debut novel from Alex Lyttle.
Profile Image for jules.
121 reviews171 followers
September 24, 2021
“The only thing worse than dying is living without hope.”

Honestly, for 80% of the book, it was gonna be between 3 stars and 3.5 stars. It’s a kid’s book and the writing was too simple (which is what I get for reading a kid’s book), and the plot felt dragging at times. The ending though? Heartbreaking. Shattering. A tear rolled down my cheek and my chest hurt in pain. Definitely worth reading.
Profile Image for Wendi Lee.
Author 1 book480 followers
June 15, 2017
This is a heartbreaking middle grade novel about six year old Sam and eleven year old Calvin. Cal's your typical tween - he wants to watch TV, ride his bike with the mysterious new girl, and avoid spending time with his little brother. He most certainly isn't concerned about Sam, who's feeling left behind yet too sick to do much about it. But when the summer ends, and Sammy is diagnosed with cancer, Cal becomes obsessed with making amends.

So many tears! I loved both boys, as well as Oliver, the Mennonite teenager who has been in the children's oncology ward for 670 days. Oliver's seen so many children come and go, and is wiser than his years. He's also a source of both practical information and comfort for Cal, whose parents are weathering through their own emotional journeys.

This was well-written and compassionate, a book delicately balanced between the realities of childhood cancer and the possibility of hope.

*I received a copy of this book in exchange for a honest review*
Profile Image for PalmPages.
292 reviews68 followers
May 14, 2017
"The only thing worse than dying is living without hope."

I'm still clutching at the tightness in my chest. This book was so personal. I had to stop a few times due to the blurred vision brought on by the never-ending stream of tears.
This book evoked so many emotions; I laughed, I shook my head in bewilderment, and I bawled.
Narrated by 11-year-old Cal whose brother is battling cancer; Cal gives insight on the effect cancer has on siblings and loved ones. Most importantly, it’s about life and the importance of living and loving while we have the chance to.

These unforgettable characters will definitely hold a special place in my heart.
Profile Image for Candice.
552 reviews15 followers
March 14, 2017
I devoured this book in just a few hours. I loved Cal and Sammy and their very common brotherly relationship. As the older brother, Cal is having a hard time doing things without his little brother tagging along and when a pretty new girl moves into the neighborhood, he ditches his little brother to hang out with her.

Seemingly out of no where, Sammy becomes very ill and is hospitalized. The diagnosis: CANCER. This is the story of the guilt of the "healthy" family members and a young brothers grief and heartache dealing with his little brothers prognosis.

Yes, I cried. Yes, I smiled and laughed. Most of all, I felt. This is touching, moving, beautiful story and I can't recommend it enough. Even though its target audience is upper middle grade, everyone should read this. Did you watch that television show Red Band Society? My teenager daughter and I loved that show and this book had that seem feel but from the perspective of the non-ill sibling. Nicola Yoon's Everything, Everything was released in September of 2015 and the hype that followed was out of control. The hype for this book needs to surpass that.

Even before it publication date the publisher has told me that "Kirkus, Booklist and School Library Journal have all given it glowing reviews. We got huge orders from Barnes & Noble and Indigo (in Canada) for national in-store listings and we've sent out a thousand copies to librarians and booksellers across the country. Indie booksellers have been really supportive, saying it belongs alongside Wonder and Out of My Mind." I AGREE!

Get this book NOW! I will have a copy of this book forever!
Profile Image for Tara Bourque.
58 reviews2 followers
April 19, 2017
This book is extremely well written and pulls you right in alongside two young brothers and their summertime adventures. After finishing the book I found myself waking up and wondering what adventure Cal would get up to next, only to realize the book was done.
The topic of the book: cancer. It is hard to write about illness and not have there be tears; no worries, there are tears from this book but there are also many smiles and laughs! As an individual living with a genetic, fatal disease the medical side of things has been depicted with sick expertise and yet dumbed down to layman terms without making the reader feel silly or stupid. I could only think that my younger sisters would completely relate to this perspective of having illness in the family and enjoyed reading every page.
There are many applicable life lessons to take away from this book, each character offers different understandings and viewpoints of life that anyone can benefit from understanding.
Would recommend to anyone I know - especially friends in the medical community because despite the sadness, there is a magnificent ending that leaves you thinking that everything is still wonderful in the world.
Profile Image for Vera.
34 reviews
October 30, 2018
"The only thing worse than dying is living without hope." Ik lig even heartbroken op de grond, brb.
Profile Image for ava.
31 reviews3 followers
April 14, 2022
read this in grade 4 and it was so good- also made me cry in class.
Profile Image for Maria.
735 reviews490 followers
May 14, 2022
Such a wonderful book about siblings and the bonds we have with them, all while exploring the strain of those bonds with a cancer diagnosis thrown into the mix. An honest and real look at what families go through, with an incredible cast of characters that will have you sobbing at the end.
Profile Image for Clare.
43 reviews
April 25, 2017
They say write what you know. Canadian paediatric oncologist Alex Lyttle has certainly done that, but this novel is about much more than childhood cancer. It’s a tale of sibling love, and the healing power of friendship.

Eleven-year-old Calvin Sinclair is bored. It’s the summer before sixth grade, and his parents have moved from big city to a small town, leaving him with no local friends, and only his six-year-old brother Sammy to play with. To alleviate his boredom, and to express his sibling dominance, Cal comes up with a series of tests for his brother to pass in order to move up the various levels of a made-up chart - battling from lowly Ant through to the awesome Eagle Level, where Cal sits. The chart is meaningless, of course, and Cal hasn’t done anything to deserve Eagle Level, it’s just a simple display of power. The tests include everything from shooting hoops to disturbing a wasp nest.

Then Cal meets Aleta, a girl of his own age who is also new to the area, and the two of them go off on day long adventures, leaving Sammy at home. Cal gives Sammy a series of tasks to complete in his absence. As the summer progresses, so does Cal’s friendship with Aleta, but also Sammy’s number of sick days. From being unable to keep up with Cal and Aleta on a bike ride, suddenly Sammy is too ill to stray far from the house. When a collapse at school leads to a serious diagnosis, Cal has to re-evaluate whether he himself passes the test of decent big brother; does he himself even deserve the status of Eagle Level, or were the challenges he set Sammy essentially mean-spirited? For now, with a series of real tests in the hospital, Sammy has to show true bravery.

The text is beautifully readable, and the setting highly visual - from the countryside Cal and Aleta explore, to the contrasting confines of the hospital. But the main focus of the book is the sibling relationship - Cal’s feelings of annoyance at his little brother quickly turn into guilt when Sammy gets sick, but also love and protection…something that’s actually been there all along. As well as this, the reader sees how much Sammy looks up to Cal too - something that Cal comes to recognise through gradual self-awareness.

Cal’s voice is honest and direct, which at times of course, is brutal in its direct confrontation of a fatal illness, but also incredibly moving. And through this honesty, the book is admirably empathetic of all characters - doctor, parents, patients and siblings. There are some lovely touches - a fascination with the Goosebumps series of books, as well as the emotional understanding displayed by Cal in gaining the trust and friendship of new girl Aleta.

This book isn’t for everyone - with intensely adult themes, including the death of a six year old, this will be a hard book for some to swallow - yet it’s so honestly written, so tender, that for those willing to confront life’s darker side, it deserves a wide audience. For 11+ years. I was sent an advance copy of the book in return for an honest review.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Kiki Overreactress.
22 reviews50 followers
December 13, 2020
'From Ant to Eagle' is relatable, pragmatic and Playmobil quality, I cannot term it an easy book which has described such thoughtful issues of cancer in kid.
Author of the book Alex Lyttle is subject matter specialist and has drawn such realistic characters that I feel an emotional connection to them. Dealing with a life-threatening illness is difficult for adults and it hurts my soul to read such things for kids. This book may work as a chicken soup for those parents whose kid is facing similar circumstances. It can help open a dialogue and help parents to provide comfort and support.

Calvin Sinclair, age 11, loves his 6-year-old brother Sammy but is tired of being his constant companion. Having just moved to a new area, the brothers only have each other to provide entertainment. Calvin passes the time by making his brother do a series of tasks, under the guise of having him reach Calvin's level. When Cal meets Aleta Alvarado, who is his age and is new to town as well, he neglects Sammy for weeks. When illness threatens all that Calvin holds dear, will he be able to right what he feels he did wrong before it is too late?

I highly recommend From Ant to Eagle and look forward to reading more by author Alex Lyttle in the future.
4,120 reviews116 followers
September 14, 2017
Central Avenue Publishing and NetGalley provided me with an electronic copy of From Ant to Eagle. I was under no obligation to review this book and my opinion is freely given.

Calvin Sinclair, age 11, loves his 6 year old brother Sammy, but is tired of being his constant companion. Having just moved to a new area, the brothers only have each other to provide entertainment. Calvin passes the time by making his brother do a series of tasks, under the guise of having him reach Calvin's level. When Cal meets Aleta Alvarado, who is his age and is new to town as well, he neglects Sammy for weeks. When illness threatens all that Calvin holds dear, will he be able to right what he feels he did wrong before it is too late?

From Ant to Eagle is not an easy book to read because of its realistic quality. Author Alex Lyttle clearly knows his subject matter and has drawn such realistic characters that I feel an emotional connection to them. Dealing with a life threatening illness is not easy for adults and just as devastating for kids, so this is a book that parents can give to children who are facing similar circumstances. It can help open a dialogue and help parents to provide comfort and support. I highly recommend From Ant to Eagle and look forward to reading more by author Alex Lyttle in the future.
Profile Image for Kelly.
314 reviews34 followers
April 19, 2017
All.the.feels.

I picked this book up mainly because I liked the cover and because of this sentence:

My name is Calvin Sinclair, I'm eleven years old and I have a confession… ...I killed my brother.


This book turned out to be so much more than just a good cover and a catchy oneliner. I didn't see this one coming. I honestly can't recommend this book enough if you're even slightly into books like The Fault in Our Stars by John Green or All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven.

All the stars for this one.
Profile Image for Keira.
3 reviews1 follower
April 19, 2017
I loved this book! One of the best books I've read so far. The amount of emotion put into this book is amazing. Sammy is such an adorable character and Cal is a very good brother. If/when you read this, be prepared for the emotions because I know I was definitely not prepared. I could not tell you how fantastic this book is so you are going to have to read it. I highly recommend this.
Profile Image for Bonnie Plante.
202 reviews4 followers
June 16, 2017
This book. Wow. I loved it from the very first page. What is it? It's a story of love and loss, family and friendship and finding the strength to move forward in the face of heartbreak. And it is a wonderful, sweet, important reminder that adults are not always the wisest people in the room. Thanks to NetGalley for the opportunity to read this amazing book.
Profile Image for ATLANTIC BOOK REVIEWS.
114 reviews8 followers
July 24, 2017
Don't begin this book with a big supply of tissues available. Such a heartfelt and heartwarming story about two brothers and how they cope with a death in the family. Alex Lyttle's debut novel has left me with a hole in my heart. His writing is so well-intentioned and meaningful. I know that he has put so very much of himself into this book. A tough emotional read, but certainly a read I highly recommend.
Profile Image for Karin.
1,833 reviews34 followers
July 11, 2019
NB I read this because it is largely set in London, Ontario.

Calvin Sinclair, age 11, has been bored to tears since they moved from London to a small town, and is tired of having to entertain his younger brother, Sammy. He makes a new friend and starts ignoring Sammy. Sammy, on the other hand, is having a tough summer with one illness after another. After Sammy receives a diagnosis, the rest of the book is largely set in a hospital in London.

Lyttle is a pediatrician, and wrote this middle-grades novel to help children understand illness, dying and grief. He has garnered much of his knowledge because he practises* pediatric medicine (he is a pediatric allergist/immunologist) in Calagary, although he hales from London (we are still talking about the one in Ontario).

*(In case you see this as a type because your device is putting a red squiggly line on it, practise is the correct spelling of the verb in Canada, just check http://www.luther.ca/~dave7cnv/cdnspe... the only truly Canadian spelling lexicon there is--practice is only a noun in Canada).
Profile Image for Debbie Tanner.
2,056 reviews21 followers
June 19, 2017
This is a very sad book about a boy named Cal and his little brother Sammy. Cal tells readers on the first page that he believes that he killed Sammy and so it isn't really a spoiler that Sammy dies. What is interesting is how the author takes you there. He was great at building the back story of Cal and Sammy and Cal's new friend Aleta. He also does a great job of showing how different families deal,with death. I liked it a lot, even if it was really sad.
Profile Image for Darlene Foster.
Author 19 books220 followers
March 26, 2019
A poignant story about love, loss, family and friendships that will tug at your heartstrings long after you close the book.
Profile Image for Annetta Vairo imparato.
97 reviews3 followers
June 21, 2017
From Ant to Eagle

Is not an easy book to read, but not easy to put down either. A bittersweet tale of brotherly love, life and loss. I highly recommend it.
Profile Image for Dorothy Minor.
829 reviews17 followers
May 28, 2017
Ant To Eagle by Alex Lyttle opens in the summer of Cal’s eleventh year. Cal is bored and lonely with only his six-year-old brother Sammy as his companion since their parents have moved the family from London, Ontario, to the small town of Huxbury, a farming community. The boys are further isolated because the family lives in a farmhouse outside of the village. Cal does not know it, but that summer will change the family’s life forever.
Cal, as the big brother, loves Sammy; still, Cal cannot help teasing Sammy and persuading Sammy to do all sorts of tasks in order to reach a new level. Cal dreamed up the levels in order to convince Sammy to do any number of things such as destroy a bees’ nest by the house or capture one-hundred live ants or make one-hundred basketball goals. With each task Sammy completes, Cal advances Sammy to a new level with eagle being the highest, a level Cal has already achieved by awarding it to himself without completing the tasks he sets for Sammy, but Sammy does not know that. Being only six, Sammy worships his older brother and believes everything Cal tells him.
At church one Sunday, Raquel and Aleta Alvarado and their dad come into the service late. Cal is immediately struck by Aleta’s quiet beauty, especially her green eyes and dark hair. She looks to be about his age and Raquel a bit older. Cal becomes consumed with meeting Aleta; luckily for him, Sammy innocently devises a plan. Sammy suggests that he and Cal should take the girls some homemade cookies since they live within biking distance.
After a bit of a rocky start, Aleta and Cal become friends and begin spending a great deal of time together, ignoring Sammy. Sammy spends the summer lonesome and alone with his mom. Sammy, always a bit chubby, begins losing weight and feeling tired. His mom takes him to the local doctor several times, thinking Sammy has mono. Meanwhile, Cal spends as much time with Aleta as he can, especially in their special place overlooking a placid lake and surrounded by trees.
When school resumes in the fall, Cal promises to help Aleta, protecting her from the Riley brothers, the school bullies. On the first day of school, Sammy is shooting baskets against Joey Riley when Sammy falls to the ground and clearly is not getting up. Cal immediately becomes concerned and tries to help Sammy; teachers push the children away and call an ambulance.
That incident on the playground marks the beginning of life as the family has known it. Sammy is very ill and must be poked and prodded by a number of doctors who determine after many tests that Sammy has leukemia. In the hospital, Cal and his parents meet other families all dealing with serious childhood cancers, some with better chances of survival than others. Oliver, age sixteen, becomes a friend and gives Cal advice since Oliver himself has been in the hospital over six-hundred days. Oliver tells Cal, "The only thing worse than dying is living without hope."
Sadly, the leukemia has already moved into his brain, hence the seizure Sammy has on the playground. In spite of the doctors’ best efforts, Sammy does not respond to the massive and toxic chemotherapy. Cal can stay with Sammy in the hospital room on the weekends. Along with a bed for one of the parents, Cal sees a small cot which he knows is for him. Being able to spend that time with Sammy is comforting even though Cal continues to feel guilty for having ignored Sammy much of the summer. While Sammy is in the hospital, Cal learns what has made Aleta so sad and why her family has moved to Huxbury. Raquel and Aleta’s mom died in a car accident and Aleta was badly injured, but survived.
Reading Ant To Eagle became difficult for me, not because I have lost a sibling or a child to cancer, but because of the recent death in my own family. The story is touching, warm, honest, and yes, sad. In the end at Sammy’s funeral, Oliver reads Mary Elizabeth Frye’s poem: “Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep,” a poem my family chose for our son’s memorial. Ant To Eagle is a story that will grip the readers and not let go until the last word is read.

Profile Image for Alyssa.
Author 9 books123 followers
June 22, 2017
3.5 stars.

I enjoyed this book--if that's the right word for it? It kept me reading, and at times I smiled or had tears in my eyes... or both. The vibe was a bit BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA in a few places, which I liked a lot.

This book does a good job of exploring how illness affects the loved ones around the ill person. I think it would be a great resource for kids dealing with a friend or sibling's sickness--or friends who want to understand what their peers in houses of illness are going through. There were several bits of really valuable trauma advice shown through Oliver, Aleta, and other minor characters helping Cal along. Those insights were probably my favorite parts.

The portrayal of sibling relationships is well done, though perhaps Sammy could have been a *touch* less perfect. I also really liked the parents in this, and actually wouldn't have minded exploring a bit more of their depth through Cal's interactions.

The book did feel a bit like someone who wasn't a writer wrote it--some small sentence errors, or a few places where the narrator felt like an adult more than a child. The pace also was rather unreliable--really slow for long stretches, then fast and tense, then slow again. I think part of that is just a side effective of writing about illness (which doesn't have a perfect story arc), but made the story feel a little like a slightly off-balance early draft. I worry that the abundant references to the Goosebumps books will age this one, unfortunately, and part of me wished the editor had taken a few steps to move this story into a timeless realm where it didn't stand in danger of feeling outdated.

However, I appreciate Alex Lyttle taking his expertise as a pediatrician to capture this story, and I think most of these things have a lot to do with this being his debut. Plus that cover is gorgeous. I think this book would be a valuable companion to hurting kids. :)
Profile Image for Colleen.
363 reviews
July 12, 2017
I. LOVE. THIS. BOOK. The author takes a sad, typically sappy, and almost cliche topic but makes it realistic, humorous, and poignant: he doesn't take away any of the emotions. The realism IMO, is what strengthens its emotional moments and takes away from the Hallmark sappy factor. A lot of this book reminded me of my childhood; as the oldest, I too made up things like Cal's "levels" to entertain my siblings/keep them busy. It's such a cute and innocent element of the brothers' relationship. Aleta, as Cal's new best friend, and the competition between her and Sammy for his attention, felt totally relatable for a 5th/6th grader too. The author's personal experience as a pediatrician also adds to the realism factor IMO.

Profile Image for Patrycja.
978 reviews16 followers
April 25, 2017
I won this book through GoodReads giveaway.

I read this novel in one sitting, with box of tissues next to me. Alex Lyttle wrote exceptional story about grief and cancer, about brother's love, the effect the illness has on family members. "The only thing worse than dying is living without hope".
This story is very realistic and touching. It is told from point of view of eleven years old boy Cal.

I love this novel, even though it made my heart cry. It is so well written.
As you read you will go through all the emotions the young character is going through. You feel anger, hope, guilt, pain. And you will cry with Cal, for Cal, and because of the story. But also the novel gives a hope, even though it has a sad ending.
Younger kid Sam, always is looking up to his brother Cal. He will do anything, to get to the next "level", to get to Eagle status. It makes you smile and chuckle at some of their conversations and "missions".
It is warm and sweet, maybe sometimes tough love. When a new girl arrives into town, Cal puts his attention to Aleta, and Sam is left behind. Through the summer Cal spends most of the time with his new friend, while Sam is getting sick all the time. Till one day the family hears the worst news. Sam has a cancer.
Sammy was never lucky with anything...
Profile Image for Ashley.
1,203 reviews26 followers
May 19, 2017
Damn it, I always try to steel myself before reading a book that I know will be sad, and yet every time - every damned time! - I end up ugly crying. I can’t help it.

So Calvin Sinclair is eleven years old and he has an adorable six-year-old brother called Sammy. It’s not a spoiler that Sammy dies - it’s literally mentioned on page one. Somehow I thought “OK, I can tough this out, I won’t cry, I’ll be strong and objective and I’ll write a nice review for the internets.”

Yeah, nope.

This book had me in a puddle. Stories about siblings always reduce me to a puddle because I have siblings. I loved reading from the perspective of the older brother because, as the youngest sibling, I have no idea what that’s like. I was on the receiving end of the torment, so I related really hard to Sammy but it was nice to see Calvin’s thought process, the reasons why he can just casually torment his brother, but at the same time love Sammy to pieces. I also really liked the relationship between Calvin and Aleta - it was sweet and felt realistic, considering these are two eleven-year-old kids trying their best to process grief.

So yeah, if you’re in the mood a weepy middle-grade, or if you’re looking for a way to introduce the grieving process to adolescent readers, then you should read this.

I don’t recommend reading it on public transit because you will cry. If you cry easy, then you will cry. Be warned.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Hannah.
120 reviews11 followers
June 8, 2017
Check out my review on my blog https://hannahreads132.wordpress.com

My name is Calvin Sinclair. I’m eleven years old and I have a confession. I killed my brother.

Why did I pick this book up?
That line! And the cover is so beautiful.

Thoughts:
This book was gorgeous. It’s told from the point of view of Calvin, an 11 year old boy, during the summer holidays during which time he makes a new friend much to the upset of Calvin’s younger brother Sammy.

This book is powerful, it’s a slow burn with some fantastic characters that tackles some pretty major issues. The voice of the book is young, Calvin is 11, but his motivations are clear and you can understand why he made the choices he did. Sammy is the perfect adorable little brother and I was pleased to see engaged parents who were focused on the wellbeing of their children instead of being invisible characters.

The first half of the book is a wonderful, sleepy summer read with Calvin becoming friends with Aleta with a few small clues of what’s coming in the second part. But then, boom, the second half starts and your heart slowly begins to crumble. (But in a good, yet painful way).

How could I use this in my teaching?
I want to buy this book for our school library and I’ve recommended it to my students.
It’s an accessible read that deals with some difficult topic in a gentle way.

Did it have good representation?
It dealt with a character with mental health issues in a gentle and respectful way.

Thank you NetGalley, Central Avenue Publishing and Alex Lyttle for providing me with a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Profile Image for Kelly Hager.
3,109 reviews156 followers
June 6, 2017
Cal killed his little brother, Sammy. That's the first thing we learn in this book. Soon, we learn there's a lot more to it than that, but it's important to know that going in. This is a great book, but it's also a sad one.

It's easy to tell that Cal loves Sammy and that he's a good big brother. But he wants to spend his summer with Aleta (a new girl) and most of the time, nothing would happen because of it. But Sammy feels left out and then he gets sick. There's no correlation, of course, but now Cal feels guilty.

This is such a good book but it's a hard read. (Not the whole way, of course, but be prepared. This book will carve out your heart.)

Highly recommended. (Have tissues.)
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