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Dün Gece Nerede Uyudun?

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"Elinizde birbirine deliler gibi âşık olan iki şapşal hakkında bir hikâye var. Uyuşturucuya, müziğe ve birbirlerine mecnunlar." Gerçek aşkın doğaüstü güçleri var mıdır? Aşk yaşamla ölüm arasındaki büyük uçurumu aşabilir mi? Dün Gece Nerede Uyudun? Kurt Cobain'e hayran bir kızın tüm kuralları yıkıp onunla yaşadığı ilişkiyi konu alan doludizgin bir aşk romanı. Evelyn Gray okul arkadaşları tarafından itilip kakılan on altı yaşında mutsuz ve yalnız bir kız. Zamanının çoğunu odasında kitap okuyup ölü insanlara mektup yazarak, eski plakları dinleyip başucunda asılı duran Kurt Cobain posteriyle konuşarak geçiriyor. Evelyn'in Cobain'e duyduğu aşk öyle büyük ki, ölü şarkıcıyı etten tırnaktan bir insan olarak yeniden var ediyor. Evelyn doz aşımından sonra hastanede gözlerini açtığında, hemen yanındaki yatakta eski hayatına dair neredeyse hiçbir şey anımsamayan Cobain'i buluyor. İkisi birbirlerini tanıdıkça hem uyuşturucuya hem de birbirlerine müptela oluyorlar. Cobain, Celine Black ismini alıyor ve Evelyn'le birlikte hastaneden kaçıp hayallerinin peşine düşüyorlar. Kaçınılmaz bir şekilde, ikisi de ünlü birer müzisyen oluyor. Şöhret, uyuşturucu, hırs ve kıskançlık bu iki âşığı ucu cinayete uzanan bir serüvene itiyor. Crosbie'nin büyülü, şairane bir dille kaleme aldığı bu roman okura her sayfasında müziksel bir şölen sunuyor...

400 pages, Paperback

First published April 4, 2015

24 people are currently reading
1199 people want to read

About the author

Lynn Crosbie

26 books54 followers
Lynn Crosbie is a Canadian poet and novelist. She teaches at the University of Toronto.

She received her Ph.D in English from the University of Toronto, writing her thesis on the work of the American poet Anne Sexton.

Crosbie has lectured on and written about visual art at the AGO, the Power Plant, and OCAD University (where she taught for six years.) She is an award-winning journalist and regular contributor to Fashion magazine and Hazlitt. She has had columns in the Globe and Mail, the National Post, the Toronto Star, Flare and Eye magazine.

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5 stars
108 (27%)
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116 (29%)
3 stars
89 (22%)
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40 (10%)
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39 (9%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 68 reviews
Profile Image for Persephone's Pomegranate.
104 reviews587 followers
August 12, 2025
What girl hasn't fantasized about being in a toxic relationship with Kurt Cobain?

This is my second time reading this unhinged magical realism novel, which tells the story of a girl who enters into a relationship with the spirit/reincarnation of Kurt Cobain. This book caused me pain, but like a masochist, I willingly subjected myself to it once more. It's a good thing I don't get triggered easily, because WOW.

The book's title is derived from a song by the African American folk and blues artist Lead Belly, which gained widespread recognition when Nirvana performed it during their iconic Unplugged concert, just months prior to Kurt Cobain's passing.

My girl, my girl, don't lie to me
Tell me where did you sleep last night?
In the pines, in the pines
Where the sun don't ever shine
I would shiver the whole night through


SPOILERS

The prose here is incredibly poetic, strikingly beautiful, and weird. I found myself questioning what was real and what was a hallucination. Were the events unfolding a byproduct of the characters' drug use or a manifestation of mental health struggles? I believe it's a combination of both, as the characters not only indulge in drugs but also grapple with numerous personal challenges.

Evelyn is a young girl residing in Carnation, Washington. She experiences a significant amount of teenage angst, and understandably so. Struggling with self-esteem issues, she faces bullying at school, with music being her only refuge. A poster of Kurt Cobain adorns her wall, and to say she has a crush on him would be an understatement. In the opening chapter, she engages in heavy drug use and nearly loses her life. It is then that Kurt Cobain manifests to her, declaring that he is coming for her.

She keeps spiraling down and chooses to end her life by taking pills. When she awakens from her coma, she encounters a young man who is also in the same facility. He confides in her that he has no recollection of his past or how he arrived here. He bears a striking resemblance to Kurt Cobain.

I called him Sadness, and he called me Mercy.

They start using drugs in the hospital and are transported to a place referred to as opiate heaven. Reading that part felt like a fever dream. Eventually, they realize they have to pull themselves together, return to reality, and get clean. Others start to notice that he bears a striking resemblance to Kurt Cobain, confirming that he is indeed real and not just a figment of Evelyn's imagination.

They escape from the hospital with the help of some patients they have befriended and drive to Los Angeles. They are high on each other and drugs. They struggle at first, but eventually, he joins a band and begins to gain fame. He adopts the name Celine Black. Evelyn forms her own band.

He said, "You didn't have to follow me," and I made myself very small.
He told me this in a low whisper in a bed made of stargazer lillies: I would have nightmares later.
For a long time he just had to look at me and I would scream.
I loved it.


They are in a toxic codependent relationship, but that doesn't prevent them from getting married. They are damaging themselves, each other, and everyone in their vicinity. As someone familiar with the lore surrounding Kurt and Courtney, I can see that the author took cues from this iconic real-life duo when crafting the characters of Evelyn and Celine/Kurt. I have a love-hate relationship with this book. It left me feeling uneasy and melancholic due to the dreadful actions of the characters. The real Kurt would have set this book ablaze, as this portrayal of him is awful.

What I truly appreciated about this book was the way Evelyn was blamed by both the media and fans for all that transpired, while Celine/Kurt was consistently portrayed as a victim by everyone. This dynamic reflects the relationship between Kurt and Courtney. Courtney has often been depicted as a gold-digging succubus and even a murderer, whereas Kurt has been seen as an angel. Courtney is not a good person by any means and has done some questionable things, but she is not evil incarnate. Similarly, Evelyn, despite her selfish and destructive behavior, does not deserve to be relentlessly torn apart by the media. It's a great commentary on society's tendency to blame women more than men.

A little boy stood in the doorway of my room.
He said, "I thought you died alone, a long, long time ago."



My personal playlist:

Nirvana - Where Did You Sleep Last Night
Kurt Cobain - And I Love Her
Alice in Chains - Nutshell
Alice in Chains - Down in a Hole
Alice in Chains - Don't Follow
Pearl Jam - Black
Breaking Benjamin - The Diary of Jane
Corey Taylor - Snuff (acoustic)
Mazzy Star - Fade Into You
Audioslave - Like A Stone
Profile Image for Big Al.
302 reviews336 followers
June 27, 2017
Cracked out Kurt Cobain fanfic. I was expecting a trainwreck, but there were some surprisingly tender and poetic moments in here amidst the madness
Profile Image for Stay Fetters.
2,494 reviews195 followers
December 2, 2016
"You're like a firefly in a jar, I say holding her cold hand. She squeezes mine and I fall asleep with my head bent to hers: when we meet in dreams, she runs to me, bares her breast, and peels back the skin to show me her small frantic heart."
Received at BEA Chicago.
This was one of the best books I have received that weekend.
All through this book, I felt that I was locked in a room, blindfolded, one arm tied behind my back and asked to put a puzzle together. All while taking the biggest trip of my life down acid mountain.
Evelyn Gray is an unhappy sixteen-year-old girl over the moon obsessed with Kurt Cobain. She lives and breathes him all in. From night to night, she talks to her Cobain poster and imagines that he responds and comforts her when she so desperately needs it.
Can't take it anymore, she decides to OD and she is rushed to save her life.
Upon coming to, she spots someone that moves her soul. Talks to her deep inner thoughts and she is overcome.
He is the reincarnation of her main love, Kurt. Deciding that this place was killing them both. They escape and live the life of legends.
The way that Love and Cobain live, these two to the same and in Courtney Love style.
Music, drugs, and petty jealousy overtakes these two, but love is stronger than all of that and marriage is brought into this mix of craziness.
My words can't explain the messed up situations that have occurred in this book. I could try, but you would never believe me. Well, if you don't then I got two words for you.... Who cares!
There was so much of everything going on, that you slowly feel that you shot that needle into your arm and made-up your own special language.
Anyone who loves feeling overcome with the color of music, the flow of the drugs pulsing through your system and all things fanfic, then this is right there guiding you along the way to your first taste.
I might be crazy, or I might be even crazier, but who wouldn't want to get a message like this....
"Every morning there was a romantic text, like "I want to sleep with your hair in my mouth forever."
Profile Image for Sherri.
442 reviews
June 7, 2015
Lately, Twitter has been my favorite place to find new book titles. When Margaret Atwood tweeted about this book, I knew I had to read it. This is one of the craziest, most original stories I've ever read. Kurt Cobain would be one month younger than me if he were alive today. This book isn't exactly about him, but, well, you just have to read it to understand. While this story is part fantasy, part fan-fiction/part poetry, it's really the story of two young people who's lives were ruined by heroin addiction.

If you're an adventurous, open-minded reader, I can't recommend this highly enough.

Oh, and Kurt Cobain is following me on Twitter. At least I think that's true.
Profile Image for Angela Murat.
206 reviews16 followers
May 6, 2020
This was AMAZING.

What an original narrative and such a unique point of view to read from! The writing is so poetic and so artistic... so raw and truthful. The author doesn't try to sugarcoat or sensor anything, everything is so brutally honest. The two main characters, Evelyn and Celene, are so pure and their love is so real. I felt their connection from the start and whenever something happened between them, I could feel their anger because of how powerful their love is. Although they are broken and cruel people and not very likeable characters, I can't help but to feel for them and see them as beautiful people.

My only issue with this book is actually part of the reason this book is so different: the writing style. The author was using a very "freestyle" way of narrating the story. It was basically like following the string of thoughts of the characters. A jumple of metaphors and allusions and random things the characters were living while high. It kind of made it hard to follow the story at certain points. I was a bit confused for some sections on what was actually happening but it never really affected the book in its whole. Despite being confusing, this writing style really made it feel like you were in the characters heads and living exactly what they were experiencing. It gave you a very realistic point of view.

Not to mention, the whole reference to Nirvana was so brilliant. You can catch little hints of them interpreting the meaning of their songs and making them part of the plot.

This might be one of my favourite books I've read all year. I've never read anything like it before. TOTALLY WOULD RECOMMEND FOR THOSE WHO LOVE MUSIC AND LOVE!!
Profile Image for Kristina .
1,444 reviews
April 15, 2022
Being a huge Kurt Cobain/Nirvana fan, the description of this one appealed to me---after a miserable teen from Washington winds up in a hospital after a drug overdose, she meets a guy who appears to be the reincarnation of Cobain. What comes next seems like a crazy fever dream of Cobain's real life, fanfiction, and just entertaining writing.
Profile Image for Em.
397 reviews2 followers
November 1, 2016
This book was a total trip. I could barely follow it at times, it just seemed like (what I suppose) a heroin experience would be. Messy and heartbreaking and somehow comfortable at the same time. Plus I love how it's loosely based on Kurt and Courtney.
Profile Image for Galadriel Watson.
Author 30 books2 followers
September 19, 2015
Can't quite decide whether to "like it" or "really like it" with my stars. I admit I barely understood it, but was still oddly fascinated with the ride.
Profile Image for Steph VanderMeulen.
126 reviews81 followers
October 7, 2015
I wanted to do a thorough, good post about this book, but it seems that I can't find the time to blog. Still, though it's been a few months now since I finished Where Did You Sleep Last Night, by Lynn Crosbie, I haven't forgotten it and I'm at least going to write a few words here because it's stuck with me, as Lynn's books (and photos) do.

First: Read the synopsis if you want to know what the book is about.

Second, you should know that Crosbie is a huge fan of Cobain, which makes this all the more fun. One might comment on the balls she has to write about him (there is not a trace of disrespect in this book), but I know no one better qualified: when Lynn fangirls, she fangirls hard (Michael Jackson featured in Life Is About Losing Everything so realistically that when I was working on something about the book, I had to ask if everything between her and him in the book actually happened. Malcolm McDowell, prepare yourself!). Research was done, credits are listed. But it's also a tribute, this book, and Lynn includes an afterword that is both beautiful and heartbreaking. And utterly serious.

What I also love about Crosbie is that she's an artist writer, by which I mean there's an element of some other type of creativity at work here; it doesn't seem as if she just sits at her computer and types out her books. I imagine the process more like when in Harry Potter they put their wands to their heads and glimmering, ephemeral bits of memories floated out. Except that for Lynn, it's characters and scenes and imagination. And after that, she has to corral these things to form a cohesive story.

Both Life Is About Losing Everything and WDYSLN are like...mixed media. They're fiction and nonfiction and fan fiction, but also dreams and fumes and sculpture and scars...with the format of a collage in a way, but with enough structure to tell a proper, whole story. You just may not be able to piece it altogether instantly.

It's all hard to explain because I wasn't totally sure as I read WDYSLN what was real and what wasn't, especially in the beginning. Funnily, and I mean that literally, the novel has a page at the beginning that says, "This is a true story." Sometimes I wondered if I had to be high to read it and get what was happening. But I know Lynn is skilled. Somehow, this book completely works. Aside from the brilliant originality of it and the wordsmithing, and even though you kind of get the impression that she might have just let it all out, however it came out, there is no way that's true. I feel like it must have taken her ten gazillion hours to craft this book, to get it right, to make it work as a novel though it strains at the boundaries of such a construct.

The Vancouver Sun said, "Crosbie uses language like she invented it." But I say it's not as if she invented the language; it's as though she's inventing it as she goes along (the way Magneto formed steps as he walked across space in that X-Men movie). The playfulness with words and syntax and meaning is art. She writes love and grit with equal beauty. She writes as though she's found the way to capture and translate dreams. And like dreams, Lynn wondrously breaks all the rules but leaves us with something nevertheless vivid.

I get the feeling, from having read her stuff and following her on Instagram, that Lynn has lived every second of her life. There's so much proof of astuteness, observation, experience, thought, wringing out of events for meaning and emotion and joy. There's not a lazy bone in her stories—every word, sentence, scene is made to work HARD, and consequently we are made to work hard. Her books are no cakewalk—they blur lines and talk about hard things and truth, even while the content sometimes reads as though you're delirious. But if we agree to follow that to the end, if we agree that sometimes working hard to stay with someone's creation is totally worth it, we will be wildly—and I mean this literally for this novel—and richly rewarded.
1 review12 followers
January 25, 2016
This book was nearly impossible to follow, and read like either one long heroin trip OR like a 16 year old girl's diary. There is one interesting event near the end, but it doesn't fit with the rest of the book whatsoever. And the realization at the end of the book will make you wish you didn't slog through the entire thing.
Profile Image for Tifany.
83 reviews
February 21, 2016
Am I the only one who wanted to love this book but did not?
Profile Image for Lana *Best left alone with books and snacks*.
761 reviews156 followers
March 19, 2024
Dnf at 8%

Yeah, no. This might be cool for teenagers who go through emo periods and romanticize death but I'm not getting down with that. The idea of the book seemed interesting and the prose is good but yeah, life's too short and I'd rather enjoy the books I spend my limited time reading.

Over and out
Profile Image for Naima.
235 reviews32 followers
August 7, 2016
** I received this book through NetGalley and House of Anansi in exchange for an honest review**

Well, what can I say? This book was a train wreck- and, after about 25%, not even one entertaining to watch. I think the majority of my updates about this book contained the words 'too much' because, at a point, it just became so much. The narrative is confusing, there's literally no conflict to resolve for the entire middle section of the book, and Celine and Evelyn's abusive relationship is fine because "they really love each other". Towards the beginning of the book, the young fanfiction-like tone was amusing but, when things began to get destructive and miserable (with absolutely no reprieve), this book stopped being enjoyable.

Where Did You Sleep Last Night suffers from too much prose and not enough plot. I am, of all people, a giant fan of prose and, while I did enjoy Crosbie's writing, son of a bitch did she get lost in metaphors and analogies. I skipped entire pages just trying to figure out what was going on- only to realize that, well, nothing was going on. The book is 45% drug trips that are supposed to have some form of symbolism, but the issue is that they don't really wrap around to make any sense in the end. Really, the majority of the book is . Wash rinse repeat until the very end.

Honestly? I found myself laughing at a lot of the situations because it really just got to be Too Much. A lot of the scenes with Evelyn being bullied came off as this- there's a portion where the girls carve the word 'slitch' (slut/bitch) into her chest and a part where they beat her with a baseball bat full of nails in the school hallway and I'm just sitting there like.... I don't care how awful the school system is or how unresponsive administration is, that Definitely Would Not Happen. Situations came off as unrealistic, and I don't know if that was intentional or not? Speaking of unrealistic, I refuse to believe that Evelyn and Celine could've made so much money/acquired so much fame- it came off as really fanfiction-trope-y and, after all of the extreme drug use, sexual violence, and sexual content in this book, I wasn't charmed by it in the slightest.
Profile Image for Irmak.
142 reviews4 followers
May 1, 2020
Gerçekten çok beğendim. Başlarında bir koma durumu olduğu için kitabın şeklini şemalini kavramak biraz sürüyor. Neyin kişilerin hayali neyin kitapta gerçekten gerçek olduğunu kavramak ama sonra çözmeye başlıyorsunuz. Aslında kitabın bu kadar yoğun kafa karışıklığı ile başlaması güzel oldu lakin son sayfalar da aynı karışıklıkta idi. Çünkü iki uyuşturucu bağımlısının hayatını anlatırken de gerçeklik ve hayal birbirine giriyor. Baştan sona bir dağınık hatıralar, ani flashback lerle kaplı çünkü büyük ihtimalle bir eroinmanın da kafası ve gerçeği algılayabilme becerisi bu kadardır. Gerçekten okuduğum yeni dönem yeraltı yazarları içinde en beğendiğim eserin sahibinin bu bayan olduğunu söyleyebilirim. Kurt Cobain'e aşık kızın Celine ile ilişkisi Courney Love ile Cobain ilişkisinin yoğunluğu ve darmadağınık/karmakarışıklığı ile aynı. Bu çok güzeldi. Bu şekilde bir metafor yapabilmesi çok güzeldi çünkü kitabın başlığına ilk baktığımda biraz popüler kültürlü basit bir şey olacağından korkmuştum ama aslında cuk oturmuş. Aşk sözcükleri kullanılmadan anlatılan ve aşk sözcükleri kullanılarak anlatılabilecek bir ilişkiden çok daha yüksekti bence birbirlerine duydukları şeyleri. Cid ve Nancy gibi aynı zamanda da. Yaşasın gerçek aşk "hastalığı"
Profile Image for Sarah.
30 reviews6 followers
July 25, 2016
DNF I tired so hard to get into it but this was just so convoluted and unfocused
Profile Image for Olivia.
264 reviews10 followers
Read
October 22, 2024
This book was so nutso crazy in the most genius and delicious and thoughtful and perfect way. Essentially Kurt cobain fanfiction and the author is very frank about the fact that that’s what it is and i like that a lot. I like when i find books that are written similarly or trying to do similar things as projects im working on and this made me think about my spike story although the sort of cores of our projects are very different. I just found this book so fun at its core even if it was dealing with like fucked up things, which it mostly was— but the writing was beautiful and also so tongue in cheek YA flowery dramatic, which I enjoyed. Some really beautiful lines in here in particular and just in general the way it was written complemented what the rest of the story was doing perfectly. I giggled I laughed I chuckled, I tend to have issues with the writing famous musicians books cuz I get annoyed that the author is in effect praising their own writing but here it was so obviously silly and a nod to like Courtney love obviously but also a nod to the way that girls fantasize about fame and love and just being a different self that it just fit so well with the work. Also has a lot to say, in a quiet way, about the effects of suicide, the effects of artist suicide in particular. And it also made me get back into Malibu by hole— oh come on be alive again, don’t lay down and die
Profile Image for E.B. Hunter.
57 reviews4 followers
December 3, 2023
This book is a fun trip down the rabbit hole of drug addiction and narssacisim. It was overall not the easiest read though.
Profile Image for Dar.
612 reviews19 followers
March 25, 2016
This book incorporates everything I loved as a teenage reader: drugs and danger, pathos, poetry, derangement of the senses, the pure and the profane. It is an experimental storm of language and imagery that brings to my mind Jim Carroll (an acknowledged influence), Patti Smith, Francesca Lia Block and Holly Black (Modern Faerie Tales), Hunter S. Thompson and William S. Bourroughs.

As a starting point, it takes an abused girl and her love for Kurt Cobain, and how it becomes reality, despite his death. We think it is going to be a wish-fulfillment fantasy, but instead it takes a tortured love/hate path which, we imagine, reflects the journey of Kurt and Courtney. The writing allows us to love them and hate them, pity them and pray for their redemption. I especially loved that Kurt/Celine was taken forward into the 2010s era of texting and rebranding.

This book really made me think about fame, fandom, the value of life and the necessity of drinking it in. It was hard going at times, maybe reflecting the realities of druggie hells a little too well. It wasn't released as a young adult novel, perhaps in recognition that drugs and fame really do possess glamour. As Hunter S. Thompson said, "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

I appreciated the author's decision to circle the story back around to its beginning, in a display of empathy for the character, and her wise Afterword.
Profile Image for Aynsley!.
50 reviews
August 1, 2020
I don’t even know how to rate this book.
First couple chapters are objectionable- glorification or drug use, fatphobia, really edgy for the sake of making the characters sad sacks. Okay. Can’t judge a book by the first 50 pages. Maybe this will all get turned on its head by the end.
A couple more chapters and it really does pick up, and you think it might actually redeem itself. Still edgy at times but I began to feel pretty invested in the characters and was curious to see where thing would go.
After the fourth or fifth breakup and reunion of the main characters and the like,,, fourth failed pregnancy I expected nothing from this book. In fact, I had whiplash from the directionless plot. However, I kept going because I was sadly pretty invested in the lives of these miserable characters and the writing itself is actually pretty beautiful and structurally interesting.
Get to the last 1/4 of the book and there’s a huge twist, not really set up in a believable way and because the structure of the book blends what is real and what isn’t so seamlessly, it was hard to know if this was even a concrete development.
Last 30 pages, like the rest of the book, were confusing in a kind of beautiful way.
All in all, really pretty but nearly plotless fanfic. Lynn Crosbie must have done something right because I was curious to see how it all ended, so three stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Cindy.
464 reviews9 followers
January 23, 2016
totally addictive, fucked up whirlwind.
It violent, crude, offensive, uncomfortable and at the same time charming and you can't put it down.
If you look at it like a doped up dream, then the plot kind of makes sense, otherwise it's a jumbled mess, but a beautiful mess.
Evelyn's relationship with Celine, mirrors Kurt and Courtney's marriage and their most scandalous rumors in a way in which I actually thought was very sympathetic to Courtney and sheds light on the hate she unfairly receives to this day for "ruining Kurt" in certain fans eyes.
I think if you yourself has worshiped Kurt or any tragic figure/celebrity you will be drawn to this book a bit more than most, but be warned it's very dark incld. suicide and murder, very sexual/incld. rape and violent sex and there is a lot of hard drug use. It may be a trigger for some people and it's def. an adult book, even though Evelyn is 16.

I do want to read it again just to take in her writing style as it is very unique, magical and so visual.
Profile Image for Anna.
Author 2 books46 followers
December 13, 2015
What a book. What a trip. Truly, distressingly weird - the kind of book where the writing is so purposefully scattered that you're not actually sure what happened at some of the crucial parts, which is, for me, a negative. Crosbie writes this novel like a poet - at times, this is a beautiful thing. Other times, it's tough - her sections are short, and she jumps from idea to idea exceptionally fast. And her foreshadowing is too heavy-handed - there are warning sentences sprinkled liberally throughout - "he kept the gun" "that's where it all went wrong" etc. That being said, some of the imagery in here is so stunning it feels like a punch to the stomach. And the idea of a well-written, drug-drenched, tongue-in-cheek, grown-up fanfic is so weird, so out of left field, that it works. Kind of. It might not have the strongest plot, but it keeps you thinking. But... can anyone tell me how they think it ends?? I'm still not sure.
1 review
March 26, 2016
I saw Nirvana play in 1993 on what must have been their last tour. I was a fan. I was also a fan of Hole - Teenage Whore was a banger. Hole in concert circa 1994-5 was a force to be reckoned with. Being familiar with the (vague) subject matter, I didn't know what to expect of this book, ostensibly about K. Cobain in some way... This did not feel as much like a novel as a visceral-thought-car-pile-up-bullit-mashup. In the acknowledgements, you get an idea of the pop culture references in the book, but you wont understand how they connect until you dig in. And even then, it's hard to catch all of them. My neck, my back, my sharona. Crosbie must be crazy or genius... probably both. The story (plot) is maybe less important than the language and the feeling you get while reading the book. It's liberating to think about people like this; two characters deadly in love on a road to self destruct or at least self distract. Check it out. Just go with it. Go for it! Just do it! It's fun!!
Profile Image for Susan Birrell .
137 reviews2 followers
October 3, 2016
I like to think I am pretty open minded when it comes to reading many different genres of books, but wow this one had me baffled. I was intrigued by the style of writing that left so many possible ways to interpret the story, but I was also confused as to how to follow what was going on.....if that makes any sense. ??
I got desperation, addiction, loss, sadness and love from this book. Would I recommend this book? ....probably not. Maybe? I think my review is just as confusing as the book!
Profile Image for Elizabeth Roberts-Zibbel.
Author 3 books5 followers
July 29, 2018
Once I saw the cover of this book I had to take it home. Extremely weird but beautifully written fan fiction, basically. I would recommend leaving your disbelief suspended at the door and diving right in, devouring, without trying to discern any sense or logic. Author does an amazing job bringing a reincarnated / ghost / dream Kurt Cobain to “life.” The disputed “All Apologies” lyric is mentioned. “ ‘All alone is all we all are.’ ‘That’s not the lyric.’ ‘But that’s what you sang.’ “ Also a great depiction of crazy, possessive, violent love.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for brandt.
8 reviews
June 29, 2024
It took me six months to read this book... needless to say, there was a reason.

I'm giving this 3/5 stars solely because I am impressed that this book exists. Also, I genuinely like the concept and premise. Now, did I enjoy the execution? No, I didn't. The book is essentially prose that rambles on for almost 400 pages, which wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't 400 pages, or if I felt like I was reading something different instead of the same thing over and over. It became monotonous. Every page was drugs, sex, mental breakdown, repeat, except for some interruptions for purposes of the plot. I wouldn't have such an issue with this if it weren't legitimately the same being repeated. Crosbie lost me after the first 50 or so pages... and yet I kept reading. Indeed, I did, because I had too much faith in the premise and concept of this book to put it down and I have a phobia of unfinished books. I'm glad I saw it through to the end. Not happy with the ending, however. After 400 pages one would think that you'd have some time to wrap up whatever this book was--no. Within 30 pages, the book ended. The pacing is bad. Regardless of whether or not it's "prose," which it most certainly is, you need a beat of some kind. There was not a lot of that. Sometimes reading this book felt like putting on a TV show in the background while doing something else. My attention dwindled many times while reading.

As for the writing: I have so many questions. Initially, my autistic brain didn't register any of what I was reading as "satire." I thought it was purely unironic Tumblr sad girl fanfiction writing. Perhaps that's what Crosbie was going for. Then I find out Crosbie is not a 20-year-old woman, but was around 50 when this book was published. Now I have even more questions. The satirical writing was not strong enough for me at all. I didn't laugh, I didn't cry, I think I went, "Aww" maybe once, and clicked my tongue like people do when something is sappy.

Parts of this did feel disrespectful and I'm sure the author didn't mean that at all, but when you're publishing fan fiction about a celebrity who notoriously committed su1c1de, red flags appear. I feel that Kurt Cobain would've enjoyed this book because of how ridiculous it is. Its humor didn't land with me I fear. Instead, I kept thinking about how I could take this premise and write something better with it. It looks like I'm reading this for absolute filth. I'm not trying to in all honesty. I respect that Crosbie put a lot into this, but I wonder how much I got out of it.

Ultimately, a fun read. Not profound, but important in its boldness.
Profile Image for Readgina .
475 reviews
May 27, 2020
I don't know how to rate this book. I hated it. Some of you might love it.
You can tell the author is a poet and she can use language.
I picked this up at the library and it looked interesting. Not even sure why I bothered to finish it.
Maybe she was trying to convey what it is like being on heroin?
I really just skimmed some parts of it. It's just insane and chaotic - like the lives of the main characters.
Profile Image for beyz.
79 reviews2 followers
February 18, 2022
“Çok hassas ve derin duygulara sahip insanlar için azap çekmek ve acı her zaman gereklidir.”

Kitap aşk hakkındaydı ama bu çirkin bir aşktı. Olmaması gereken ama herkesin sahip olması gereken bir aşk hakkındaydı. Madde bağımlılığı ve daha kötüsü olan insana olan bağımlılıkla ilgili. Yaratıcılık, terk edilme, ölüm ve hayalleri barındırıyordu. Bu kitabı bir Kurt Cobain fan kurgusu olarak ele almayın çünkü her ne kadar bununla başlamış olsa da bununla devam etmiyor ya da bitmiyor.
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