Pretend We Are Lovely

by Noley Reid

Consuming and big-hearted, Noley Reid’s Pretend We Are Lovely details a summer in the life of the Sobel family in 1980s Blacksburg, Virginia, seven years after the tragic and suspicious death of a son and sibling.

Francie Sobel dresses in tennis skirts and ankle socks and weighs her allotted grams of carrots and iceberg lettuce. Semi-estranged husband Tate prefers a packed fridge and secret doughnuts. Daughters Enid, ten, and Vivvy, thirteen, are subtler versions of their parents, measuring their summer vacation by meals eaten or skipped. But at summer's end, secrets both old and new come to the surface and Francie disappears, leaving the family teetering on the brink.?

Without their mother's regimental love, and witnessing their father flounder in his new position of authority, the girls must navigate their way through middle school, find comfort in each other, and learn the difference between food and nourishment.

Genres: Fiction, Audiobook, Mental Health, Novels, Book Club, Literary Fiction, Adult Fiction

284 pages, Paperback

First published July 18, 2017

About the author

Noley Reid’s latest book, a collection of stories called Origami Dogs, is forthcoming from Autumn House Press and features stories about women, men, and the dogs who share their lives. Her third book is the novel Pretend We Are Lovely from Tin House Books, which O, The Oprah Magazine called “scrumptious.” Her fiction and nonfiction have appeared in The Southern Review, The Rumpus, Arts & Letters, Meridian, Pithead Chapel, The Lily, Bustle, Confrontation, and Los Angeles Review of Books. She lives in southwest Indiana with her husband, son, mom, a rabbit, and two of the best dogs in the world.

Reviews

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

PRETEND WE ARE LOVELY BY NOLEY REID

The title of this book sums up the Sobel family--All surface and superficial but horribly dysfunctional.
Francie is the mother of two young girls Enid, aged ten and Vivian, aged twelve, almost thirteen. Tate Sobel, father and husband teaches classes at the university and is living in an apartment near campus having an affair with a nineteen year old student named Holly. There was a son named Sheldon that mysteriously and suspiciously died seven years ago at the hands of Francie.

It is July, 1982 and Enid and Vivian are starting their summer vacation which they usually hang upside down from trees in the woods that border their backyards. Francie will yell to the girls she is going to play tennis. Her two daughters don't believe her because she never has a tennis racket. Vivian tell's Enid that their mother lies. Francie has promised her daughter's that she is going to sew them a halloween costume, but they would both like a store bought costume--one that comes in a kit with a mask.

Pretend We Are Lovely is largely about hunger. Hunger to be a family, hunger to fit in at school, hunger for the devastating loss of their brother and son, hunger for the intimacy of a strong marriage, hunger for love and acceptance. Francie is driving her car in the sunshine, taking the long route:

"The girls can hang like monkeys in their tree all they want. I go out of my way, go into downtown, I wouldn't drive to tennis any other route. This is my path. Midway, I slow to pass Carol Lee Donuts but keep my face forward, my eyes in front of me. It doesn't matter. Even just seeing it peripherally, I know the scene by heart. Inside the big picture window, an imposing mixer pipes batter rings that drop into hot oil below. They float and sizzle and the pretty girl with the thick red braid flips them. (Holly as in student having affair with her husband) One by One she dunks soft yellow edges and the fried rings bob up golden brown. I know who she is. To Tate and how long."

Francie weighs out and calculates everything she eats and denies herself all of the delicious foods and is proud her bones stick out. Enid is compared to her father by the way she is passionate about eating and is called fat by her mother Francie and sister Vivian. The two daughter's are subtler forms of each parent. Vivian is like Francie and Enid is like Tate in body types.

Francie leaves her girls and their father Tate moves back into the family home to take care of his two daughters. She is gone twelve days. When Francie returns she starts eating everything in sight. She abandons her measuring and scales and eats. Enid starts copying her mother's anorexic behavior at ten years old. This is an intimate look into this family that are all looking for ways to fill their holes in themselves. There is hope for most members of this family to heal.
Tender, raw, shocking, but always hopeful. The girls have to learn the difference of eating food for sustenance and nourishment versus using food for comfort.

In all honesty this was a confusing book to read at times so I have deducted one star. Throughout the whole book the chapters alternate giving all four of the Sobel family their points of view. The dialogue wasn't always linked to a character so it was confusing. At times a character was linked to a statement made. There would be dialogue that followed that wasn't linked to anybody. So I had to re-read and figure out if the fresh dialogue was the same character continuing speaking or if it was the response from a different character, since it didn't indicate who was speaking. In other words, sometimes the writing was choppy because it would not always be clear who was speaking by omitting who was speaking.

Thank you to Net Galley, Noley Reid and Tin House Publishing for providing me with my digital copy for a fair and honest review.

[ScrappyMags · Rating 4 out of 5]

Scrappymags 3-word review: Dysfunctional family ruin.  A solid 4/4.5 star 
My book reviews are all on my website at http://scrappymags.com/ at publication date!

Genre: Contemporary fiction (1980's setting), release 7/18/17

Shortest summary ever: Francie is a mom to 2 girls - Vivian and Enid (13 and 10 respectively), married to Tate, a college professor. Let's put it this way - she won't be winning mom of the year awards. Estranged from Tate, battling an eating disorder, and haunted by the strange death of her son 7 years prior, she barely passes for a mom. Dad is wrapped up with dealing with this, and he's no angel either. 

What’s good under the hood: Adoring the revolving narratives, I dove into each member of the family with gusto, and they are well written. The two girls mirror their parents in many ways, some positive, some sad. It's a lesson in what kids learn from their environment (good and bad). A rarity, my gauge on characters I liked/didn't like changed so much in the course of the story that it kept me guessing until the last page. I enjoyed the story and thought it to be REAL - all the nitty gritty don't-really-want-to-read-this-sad-stuff-but-have-to REAL. Real to me is often magical - like I'm a voyeur peeking in at this dysfunctional family. I felt embarassed for them and embarassed that I was watching, but like the proverbial train-wreck, I couldn't look away. 

What’s bad or made me mad: Nothing made me outright mad, but it's a slower paced novel of a serious nature. Without giving spoilers, I was disappointed with a vague aspect of the story that I wanted a resolution to and never received. I never REALLY understood what happened and felt a massive disappointment with that. (Unless I didn't read closely which would be my bad).

Recommend to: 

* The story develops page after page so those in the mood for a lush, deep, rich story, not a riveting quick-paced romp. 
* Those looking for serious topics, but don't be too afraid - it's a pretty quick read.

Thanks to NetGalley, Tin House books (W.W. Norton) and the author for an advanced copy in exchange for my honest review and new appreciation for my (pretty) normal family.

[Julia Fierro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Noley Reid's stunning novel Pretend We Are Lovely is about hunger―for love, for acceptance, for forgiveness after an unforgivable loss leaves a family shattered. Readers will be spellbound by this intimate portrayal of a family told in a symphony of voices―each member of the Sobel family's search for redemption equally urgent and compelling. Like the best love songs, Noley Reid's novel is sad but hopeful, raw but tender, shocking but, ultimately, deeply comforting.

[Caroline Bock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gripping, and yes, lovely in its spare, unsparing prose. Noley Reid's story is set in the 1980s in Blacksburg, VA and is about a family (four points of view - father, mother, two young daughters) beset by emotional hunger, by needs that can't be fed, by the death of the oldest child, a son, years before. The consequences of this death resonate in each family member -- and resonate in their relationship to food (binging, overeating, anorexia). My only wish for this novel -- more of the adult points of view, less of the kids. So 4.5 stars, not 5. But a thought-provoking read, one that satiated the senses, though the soul was sad for the Sobel family.

[Ariana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally posted on: The Quirky Book Nerd

*I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review*

Pretend We Are Lovely is one of those novels that really makes you think—both during and after—but where the real impact of the plot and themes within it hits you a little while after you have turned the final page. After you’ve let it simmer in your mind for some time. This is a story that revolves around hunger and nourishment of both the body and soul. And behind the façade of food and hunger, starving and eating, the true needs of this family shine through the cracks. It is a perfect warm, summer day read, whose pages will fly by quickly, but will simultaneously strike the reader with the surprising depth and heaviness of the subject matter.

This story follows a few months in the lives of the four members of the Sobel family. Mother Francie is struggling to deal with a great loss as well as the mental and emotional scars that come with it. Thirteen-year-old Vivvy and ten-year-old Enid are dealing with their own coming of age and new place in the world, all while attempting to cope with their struggling family life and their mother’s overbearing rules, primarily about food. Father Tate is trying his best to hold his family—and all of their lives—together as Franice begins to spiral out of control, further cracking the household’s foundation.

I’ll admit when I first started, I wasn’t quite sure if I was going to end up enjoying this novel. It took me a little while to really get into it, but as soon as I did, I was fully captivated. This story is full of broken and lost, but deeply and utterly beautiful souls. They are surprisingly loveable and incredibly easy to connect with. Each one has their own distinctive voice and personality, and I found that they were very realistically portrayed. Reid demonstrated remarkable insight and skill in her creation of this fractured family.

The element of food and hunger becomes very prominent as we begin to get to know each of the characters and the dynamic of the household. They all harbor a hunger for something more on an emotional level that masks itself in a battle with their eating or dieting behaviors. And these battles manifest uniquely in each person. Vivvy and Enid each look to a different parent for cues on how to treat food. Enid follows her father’s habits of carefree eating while Vivvy mimics her mother’s struggle with food and obsessive dieting.

The relationships and constant instability of the foundation of this family was incredibly poignant. We watch Enid and Vivvy coming of age and learning to deal with many of the harsh realities of life. Francie and Tate are drifting further and further away from one another, and Tate is struggling to hold the family together as best he can for the sake of his daughters. Vivvy’s and Enid’s relationship with each other was my particular favorite to watch as it changes with the highs and lows of growing up. Tate’s love for his daughters was another one of my favorite aspects of this novel.

The writing style used in this novel might not be a hit with everyone. The perspective alternates frequently between each of the four members of the Sobel family, so the reader gets an intimate look at everyone’s perspective on the events of the plot. I found it quite interesting to see the shift in the behaviors and outlooks of the all of the characters, but it can be a bit confusing at times. There is quite a bit of jumping about, and this can make the plot a little tricky to follow. However, once I started to get used to it and became more aware of each character’s personality, it flowed a lot smoother.

The other aspect of the writing to note is the almost stream of consciousness-like style that Reid uses. For me personally, it really worked well and I enjoyed the tone that it set. It truly feels as if we as readers are intimately following the lives of a realistic family, and that brings so much depth into the novel and the messages it sends. However, I realize that, though it adds a great deal to the realism of the plot and characters, it can be somewhat of a difficult writing style to follow—so there are definite pros and cons to it for the reader.

It reads just the way a person’s train of thought would go, but that can also make things feel a bit disjointed. On top of that, the constant shift in perspective takes a little while to get fully immersed in, especially prior to really knowing the family. As a whole though, I ended up loving the format in which Reid wrote this novel. There were a lot more pros that out-weighed many of the minor cons in the style, and she completely sucked me in.

Overall, this was the big-hearted and consuming read it promised to be. Reid beautifully set the painful, destructive, yet loving atmosphere of a family in turmoil. I felt like I really connected with everyone, and found that I truly cared about each and every one of them. I experienced the hurt they both felt and inflicted, but also the small moments of caring, love and hope. Every emotion was tangible and I was completely wrapped up in their lives. The bittersweet final few chapters particularly stood out from the rest, and they are the ones that held onto me the longest.

[Clifford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Told in 4 rotating points of view, this is the story of a family struggling to recover from the death of a child. The parents and two daughters cope, or attempt to cope, in different ways, and the question of the book is will they succeed? While the situation they face isn't new--we've seen other marriages crumble under the weight of a child's death--there is something fresh about the voices here as well as the chosen coping mechanisms.

[Jessie Gray · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book so much up until the very end. Then it seemed like an entirely different author wrote it, or she was rushed. And the ending was corny and cliche compared to the rest of it, which was thoughtful and sometimes poetic. Overall I appreciated the characters and thought it was a good story. Sometimes it seemed the writer was trying to be intentionally vague to add to the quality of writing, but then it ended up just being unclear what specifically was happening, like descriptions of events needed just a few more details to know what was going on. I really was going to give it 5 stars until the very end. It did not seem Holly was in Tate's life legitimately enough that their relationship deserved so much significance at the end. And he points out she's much closer in age to his daughter, they're both teenagers. Maybe it would have been a stronger ending if the reader was left with faith in the solid relationships between Tate and his daughters, rather than also including Holly, who seemed like during the majority of the book a casual fling due to an unhappy marriage.

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Noley Reid’s debut is a strange, enchanting book. The larger tale of the Sobel family just sort hovers and breathes, a weird counterpoint to the characters who populate it, each one so distinctly alive and in motion.
I don’t think Reid had a plot in mind when she wrote much of this book - but that’s okay, I think, because the vivacity of the narrators takes up most of your attention, and their own individual small stories build a bridge upon which the story makes successful crossing. In any case, the writing sparkles and the emotions live themselves right off the page, offering the reader access to worlds in which grief and hate have simmered so long that it’s seeped into the very atmosphere. Love is hard to find here unmolested - there’s a lot of searching, though, and the ways in which the daughters, especially, try to gain access to that which they most crave can break your heart a little. Reid manages to draw the myriad broken pieces of this family back together in the end (although whether that will last remains a mystery to me), which changes the tenor of the story altogether. It’s a complicated, interesting tale, and one I’m glad that I encountered. As a writer and a reader, I found much to eat.
3.5/5

[Jorie Mark · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book fascinating, deeply upsetting and thoughtful....the children in this novel are stuck between "feast and famine," between an indulgent, loving, pleasure-seeking dad and a mom who is all about denial, self-punishment and disgust with food, with imperfection, with mess. It was a novel about food and shame and body image, but also about much more than those things. The 80s feel was very authentic, and each of the characters had a distinct and true voice.

[Annie Hartnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

A tender portrayal of a family reeling after loss, and what makes this book stand out is the exploration of the family's relationship with food. A book that will break your heart, but still leave you hopeful. Beautifully written.

[Linda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfectly rendered characters!

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

And the award for 1982's Most Dysfunctional American Family goes to... the Sobels. There's patriarch, Tate, a feminist philosophy professor who sleeps with his young female students. Mother, Francie, who meticulously weighs and calculates each morsel of food, recording her daily allotments on notecards. Thirteen-year-old daughter, Vivvy, following fast in her mother's footsteps, eschewing nourishment. And, Enid, ten, who stuffs her feelings, gorging on whatever she is able to find in the kitchen. As the story enfolds, Francie's behavior grows increasingly bizarre and her food habits become downright grotesque. But, to borrow a trope, like the car accident one cannot look away from, I kept turning page after page.
The catalyst for Francie's descent into madness seemed to stem from the death of her young son, Sheldon, seven years earlier. Through the bits of information we are given, it is clear his death was not merely accidental. His mother's frustration and dislike for him is clearly evident. Although both girls were quite young, they do have some memory of their older brother, Sheldon, and they too are aware something is amiss. But, as with any good dysfunctional unit worth its title, the event is never spoken of and his bedroom remains off limits except for Francie.
Disturbing, peculiar, yet wholly absorbing I cannot say I liked this book but I certainly most certainly was never bored!

[Donna Foster · Rating 4 out of 5]

A family's experiences and struggles centered around food was like reading a ticking time bomb story.

[Jean Pace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written book. I loved the way it was set up with super short vignettes from the different main characters. And I loved the sparse prose.

Also, it's been a while since I've read such a completely character-driven book and I'd forgotten how compelling intriguing characters can be. These characters were done so well that finding out what happened to them was just as important and driving to me as finding out what was going to happen in a book with a compelling plot. Despite the heavy themes, I read this book quickly, and had a hard time putting it down.

All that said, I must warn you that this is a sad book, and that it was often hard to read. In some ways it was like watching a horror movie, in that you were always like, "No no, please don't make that choice." But then they did.

[MODERATE SPOILERS] And that said, the ending was not utterly depressing and did have a lot of redemptive themes (thank goodness). It didn't end cloyingly happy, but it also didn't end with everyone collapsing into perfect ruin. However, the ending did tie up a little quickly for me, and one of the side characters all the sudden seemed more important than she should have been. Along that line, the dad ended up running around doing errands and visits that seemed just a wee bit heavy-handed.

Overall, a beautiful book about many of the un-beautiful things that can happen in life.

[Marisa Turpin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not a whole lot happens in this book, and yet, a whole lot happens in this book. The story centers on the Sobel family in the summer of 1982. So many things made this book relatable to me. First of all, the parents are separated, and the older Sobel daughter (Vivian) is only one year older than I was when my parents split. Secondly, it's set in Blacksburg, VA. I grew up in Roanoke, which is close by. The author mentioned Interstate 81, K92 radio and other local landmarks that tickled me to no end since I know all of those. Thirdly, the book focuses a lot on the relationship between sisters (I have two!) Vivian and Enid, as well as how they deal with parental discord. Vivian tends to follow in her mother, Francie's footsteps and eats little. Enid and her dad go to the opposite extreme. There should probably be a trigger warning for people with eating disorders on this book. It made me think about how I eat. The irony is I have been using an app (my fitness pal) for almost the past year to track my calories, not unlike Francie weighing her food and counting calories. Fortunately, I have done it in order to get to a healthy weight! This definitely was not a happy read, but was still good in that it felt quite real.

[luv4pez · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were a couple of blaring typos which I would have thought Tin House copyeditors would have caught prior to publication.

Reid incorporated a number of eating disorders in this family drama. No one's food issues are resolved; in fact, there isn't much resolution at all in the story. It seemed all fairly typical, absent parents and siblings who are mean to each other. Some big coming-of-age topics are glossed over and never returned to. I enjoyed that every main character narrates part of the story, but most of the characters aren't likable. The ending wasn't really an ending. The writing was ok. Overall, a bit of a disappointment.

[Guilie · Rating 2 out of 5]

It seemed a promising premise, and I admit it did have its moments. But... I kept waiting for the story to "start"—to take shape, to gather momentum, to clarify its direction and/or intention. (Spoiler: it never did.) The ending is possibly the best crafted part of the entire work. The blink-and-you-miss-them changes in POV felt, at first, rather sloppy; eventually they became annoying and felt overwrought. Not my best book choice here.

[Jessica // Starjessreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretend We Are Lovely by Noley Reid follows the Sobel family during the summer of 1982, seven years after the suspicious death of the only son of the family. Francie, Tate, and their daughters Enid (ten) and Vivvy (twelve) are grappling with their various hungers, literal and emotional. The story is told from the alternating perspectives of all four Sobels, each with their own secrets and burdens. Food is a central character, with each child mirroring the issues of one parent or the other. Francie and Tate’s marriage is in trouble, and Enid and Vivvy, facing the challenges of growing up, are often left to their own devices within a family barely holding on. When Francie suddenly disappears, the things they have all tried so hard to stuff down, hide, deny, and control, must be purged in order for the family to survive.

This was a finely crafted story of a family, with characters that felt real. The author did a fantastic job of fleshing out all four characters; no easy feat when you are telling the story from multiple perspectives. I found myself identifying most with Enid and I felt like this was her story. However, I am sure that someone else might connect to it differently, which is the beauty of storytelling. This is the portrait of a family and all of the complex and dynamic experiences that go along with that. There is plenty of humor and warmth mixed in with the pathos and anxiety. The depiction of sisterhood was one of the best parts, and I loved the relationship between Enid and her dad.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book. It snuck up on me. At first I found the constant references to food distracting, but once I really got into the story, it began to weave in more seamlessly. I am a hater of the term “women’s fiction”, but I really think it would fit for this book. I believe women will make a stronger connection.

Thank you to the publisher, Tin House for allowing me to read this book in exchange for my honest opinion. This book will be released on July 18, 2017.

[Kelsi H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Please read all of my reviews at http://ultraviolentlit.blogspot.ca!

Pretend We Are Lovely explores the lives of the Sobel family in small town Virginia in the 1980s. The parents, Francie and Tate, are recently separated and the entire family is still dealing with the aftermath of the death of their son/brother seven years previous – the boy died under suspicious circumstances, and Francie carries the blame for his loss.

Francie has always struggled with food, but with her estranged husband out of the house, her eating disorder has completely taken over the family. She compulsively weighs each item she eats and records the calories in a notebook kept in the kitchen. Her daughters, ten-year-old Enid and thirteen-year-old Vivvy, cannot help but observe their mother’s obsessive behaviour regarding food, and it affects them both dramatically. In contrast, their father Tate brings the girls unhealthy snacks such as donuts, sneaking them into the house behind their mother’s back. Because of both parents, the girls end up having complicated relationships with food, often confusing nourishment (or its denial) with love.

We witness the lives of the Sobel family over the course of one summer vacation, in which the girls are mostly left to their own devices. Francie is lost in her own world of food obsession, and college professor Tate has begun an affair with a nineteen-year-old student – likely transferring his paternal feelings from his estranged daughters to another young girl. Enid and Vivvy, meanwhile, are on their own – Enid binge eating while Vivvy starves herself, and both girls experiment with the boy next door.

As Francie spirals out of control, starving herself and eventually disappearing, the rest of the family is damaged almost beyond repair. The level of dysfunction at play here is difficult to read, as the girls are taught to confuse hunger with desire – to fit in, to be loved, to be forgiven, and much more. The alternating point of view chapters create a strong narrative in which the painful misunderstandings between family members are highlighted. All of them are keeping secrets, but each character knows more about the others than they think. This novel is an intimate, voyeuristic view of gritty and believable familial dysfunction.

The shifting relationships between the family members are realistic and their distinct voices are insightful and raw. Although it took some time, I felt connected to all the characters as they evolved, despite or even because of their flaws. The story is often depressing, and it was painful to see the dangerous effects of the parents’ behaviour on their impressionable children – but even so, the novel is filled with a tenuous sense of hope that the family can come back together and even thrive. I was very impressed with Reid’s writing and I would love to read more by this talented author.

I received this book from Tin House Books and NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Desirae · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5

I'm torn about my rating on this one - for the most part this is a well written novel with a fascinatingly dark and fucked up family. But... this was not a satisfying read, I wasn't able to take anything away from it, and I have no desire to reread it or revisit it.

The crux of the story revolves around the death of eldest son Sheldon, who seems to have had a form of mental retardation, or slightly on the spectrum. His death was caused when Francie, his mother, "accidentally" runs him over with her car. Through the prism of this brief we meet Francie, who struggles with a frightening eating disorder (this might be e one of the strongest displays of mental illness that I've ever seen). Her husband Tate, who is a women's studies professor who struggles with keeping his family together while falling in love with and having an affair with one of his students. We also follow his two daughters, Vivvy, who is struggling with her sexual attraction to girls, and Enid, who's weight becomes a major source of her mother's and her families preoccupation.

Like I said, the story was fascinating, a great place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live here.

[Jen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A book about a family in crisis, two little girls growing up in a deeply dysfunctional household, where eating disorders and unhealthy relationships with food abound. I thought the family drama bits were good - it felt true in that way a good story can, when you're getting to the heart of why something is broken (in this case, an entire family). That said, I thought there was WAY too much emphasis on the eating disorders. While I was reading, I kept thinking, "This feels like the author is trying really hard to exorcise her own demons about food and eating." Lo and behold, at the end of the book there's a statement that basically says that's how she started writing the book. It's pretty heavy-handed, enough to be distracting to me...and I'm a fat woman who has struggled with eating and weight my whole life and is generally interested in that theme in books, so for me to say it felt heavy-handed and distracting is saying something. The writing is good; the focus just feels one-note.

[Abby · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This book was very interesting to read. To be honest, it was pretty sad throughout the whole book and I had to take breaks while reading to keep my spirits up. The messages were great and you really felt everything that the characters were. It made me think about the world that is around me and what people think about themselves. In our world people expect perfection and there is the standard that for girls to be pretty that means that they must be skinny. But that is so not true! Beauty comes in many, many different forms and for one way to be considered beautiful and the other not is pretty sad. I am glad that I read this book, but it wasn't amazing and I felt like not everything that went on was explained fully. But it addressed some prominent issues in our society and the writing was good.

[Megan · Rating 2 out of 5]

I don't know how I feel about this. The characters were vivid, and interesting, but it often felt like an incredible slog. The perspective changes constantly, not always to a benefit (literally changing over to another character, just for two paragraphs of introspection and then back) because they tell you their own actions, but don't really add any of their own internal reasoning, so it's as confusing to the reader the "why" of each decision as it would be if the author just narrated it all from the omnipotent perspective. I listened to this on audiobook and would zone out for minutes at a time just to find the story had moved nowhere in my time staring out the window. But I found the characters and story intriguing enough and they will stay alive in my mind, so I also cannot say I disliked it. I am decidedly meh.

[Diane Haney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sweet, sad story of a family scarred by the questionable death of the youngest child, who was run over by his mother. The story is told by alternating narratives of the father, mother and two daughters ages 10 and 13 over the course of four or five months. Much is learned between the lines by what is not said. We come to realize the mother has deep emotional problems and perhaps has always had them. The family is disfunctional and each member is shown to respond to their situation with a type of eating or emotional disorder. All are seeking acceptance. The father desperately tries to hold the family together but is floundering.
I found the treatment original, the characters believable and sympathetic.

[Diane Payne · Rating 4 out of 5]

When I first started reading, for no explainable reason, I simply sighed after realizing it was another book written in the voice of four main characters. After I started reading, the micro chapters made perfect sense. It was like reading four micro memoirs of family members struggling with the death of a young son and an unusual relationship to food. Throughout the book, I kept wondering if the death of the son was accidental or intentional, and even now I'm still not sure. After all the hints, I wonder if I was a lazy reader and simply missed the answer, or if readers were to never know the answer. I'm glad Holly didn't get her own chapters. To some degree, I rather wish she played less of a role in the novel. But, such is life.

[Amanda (Books, Life and Everything Nice) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pretend We Are Lovely is an insightful unique read about the ways a family doesn’t cope with the loss of a child. The father copes by eating more. The mother copes by developing an eating disorder. She is no longer interested in anything, because of it. Not her children, husband, relationship, not even caring for herself. It consumes her while she barely consumes anything. The children currently, ages 13 and 10, are left to fend for themselves. It’s been about eight years since Sheldon died. Vivvy and Enid take their cues about food from their parents, desperately trying to please and emulate one or the other. The book is a wonderful exploration of grief, loss, family dynamics, and the stress of a parent’s mental illness on the entire family.

[Stephanie Braswell · Rating 2 out of 5]

_________
This book centered around a grief-stricken family and their unhealthy relationships with food and one-another. The topic itself is not one I can relate to, but I found the author took meticulous care to describe the feelings and attempted logic behind eating disorders.
———————
This book took me a few days to read, the subject itself was difficult but the story and characters were pretty well developed... but I had a bunch of questions when I finished, because there was a big glaringly unavoidable loose end. I am dissatisfied with the conclusion, I feel I invested so much into reading about their motives and transgressions to not get any real answers or explanations in the end. Unfortunately I’ll be adding it to my donation pile for the LFLs.

[Julie Harms Cannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Story for Your Inner Child and Your Everyday Life

I am so grateful for this book! It spoke to so many periods of my life: the daughter I was, the wife and mother I became, and also my eating disorder recovery. The characters in this book lived and breathed as I moved through the story. I identified with nearly every one. I hated to say goodbye to Vivvy, Tate, Enid, and Francie. I wish them all peace, love, and light as they move on with their lives. I can imagine a happy ending as I now know there is real hope for those with eating disorders and for their families as well. Thanks to Noley Reid for such an honest and hopeful work!

[Jenny Dunning · Rating 3 out of 5]

An intimate domestic drama--dysfunctional mother, two sisters, father, and his student-lover. Trauma. Emotions externalized through the characters' relationships with food: each character either eats too much, or not enough. Having grown up in a family where food played a similar dynamic, that made sense to me. But the extremes portrayed in the novel were sometimes confusing, as was the timeline. The trauma goes back to the death of a son before the novel begins. The son's eating disorder seems to have been a medical condition, perhaps Prader Willi Syndrome. Reid's scenes sometimes veer into the surreal. Somehow, the mix didn't quite gel for me.

[LeAnn L Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is written by four points of view, the mother, father, and two sisters. The parents are separated and Francie, the mother has an eating disorder. Tate, the dad who is a professor, sleeps with one of his students. Both daughters have an unfit relationship with a neighbor boy. The death of their brother is questionable, leaving the reader wondering about Francie.
I’ve never read a book with this kind of expression. The author has a gift for writing both simply and profound, and at the end of the story wrote a note to the readers about her experience with pitch-dark grief. I really felt this emotion.