I finished this book because I had already invested so much feeling and time when I came to the point where I wanted to stop. I finished it on my highest speed yet: 1.75
This book annoyed me so much. And it is probably just a case of the author having completely different values and interests from mine. So that when she gives me what she thinks is super sexy and hot and meaningful, it reaches me in totally the wrong way.
At first I was I interested. Charlie, the female main character, has a dark backstory. When she starts out on her revenge scheme I thought it ill advised but understandable, and I was interested to see how things would develop. Would the story take the way of suspense and action, or the way of personal growth and healing? The writer decided on the latter, but in a way that I did not believe in or like much.
There is some psycho-talk along the way, and the things said were ok. It is the actual actions of nearly everybody that annoyed me.
While I did understand why Charlie used sex in the way she does in the beginning, I was disappointed in Ethan to actually follow through. The idea is that the attraction between them is so huge, even his fabled self-control broke.
Then there is the sex in the swimming pool that totally grossed me out. Do you know what is in that water?
Both Charlie’s adopted family and Ethan’s family are great. Picture perfect great in fact, so that I still cannot really visualize them as real people. But I was glad for them being there.
Charlie’s tragic backstory of abuse by her mother and numerous men is horrible. The mother and most of the other abusers are the worst people you can imagine, and very one dimensional. I was not satisfied with Charlie’s way out of her childhood trauma, it seemed somehow too easy. But ok, this is a Romance, so at least some „true love and mind blowing sex solve all“ must be allowed.
The book is kind of in three parts. First there is the mostly internal conflict between Charlie and Ethan because of their past. When they resolved that and decided to be together (and finally do something else than just the one thing together) I was so ready for this to be the end. But no, there had to be the pregnancy conflict. And when that was resolved there was the legal conflict with the one night stand from the cupboard. I had a lot of questions about the legal difficulties, as it seemed very strange to me that someone of such little import could have so much power in this situation.
Most of the side characters were not in the story for their own reasons (or so it felt to me) but because of things the author wanted to show us about the main characters.
The nice old lady in the beginning shows us how kind and polite and respectful Charlie and Ethan are. And when she dies she gives them an occasion to wail about life’s injustices.
The father is there to give Charlie at least a little peace with her childhood, and also to give Ethan a way to show us how deep and empathetic he is.
Gretchen is there to be the mean bitch from Ethan’s past that never meant anything, and the way both main characters treat her throughout the book just made me wince again and again.
Ethan is very verbose throughout the book, especially after he has decided he loves Charlie. He says and thinks the cheesiest things, that I found sometimes just plain hyperbole and sometimes demeaning of other women less perfect than his love. And I have a hard time just going along with it because it is so nice believing a man who is super rich, super successful and super handsome might say such things to his women. I am maybe not romantic enough, because I see no way he can keep that up through the rest of their lives - and that is exactly what he promises her anytime he opens his mouth. Also he does not always mean what he says, even to himself. Take the baby for example: he declares how little it matters who is the biological father - and in the next moment admits that yes, it matters very much to him, but, being the wonderful human being he is, he will still love the child with all his heart.
I could go on for some length on what annoyed me in the actions and words of the characters, why I do not think certain things are sexy or a sign of maturity, and why I want my heroes (female and male) to be better people in general, not only to each other and their friends. But I will stop now.
If your sexual fantasies, your taste in men and your views and ideas of the world align with those of the author you might enjoy this book very much.
So it comes down to the old adage: it was just not for me.
I listened to the audio version which is split in half. The first part is from the point of view of Charlie and read by a female narrator, the second part is from Ethan’s POV and read by a man. Both did a good job, although the Charlie in the second part did seem very different from the Charlie from the first part.