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115 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1969
That night, re-reading the ‘Anthology of Traitors from Alcibiades to Captain Dreyfus’, it occurred to me that my particular disposition was well-suited to double-dealing and – why not? – to treason. Not enough moral fibre to be a hero. Too dispassionate and distracted to be a real villain. On the other hand, I was malleable, I had a fondness for action, and I was plainly good-natured.
‘Obviously I realise that we have all the hallmarks of thugs. The men in my employ, our brutal tactics, the fact that we offered you, with your charming innocent face like the baby Jesus, a job as an informant; none of these things augurs well, alas…’
The trees and the kiosk in the square below are bathed in a reddish glow. ‘And the curious souls who are drawn to what I call our little “HQ”; con-artists, women of ill repute, disgraced police officers, morphine addicts, nightclub owners, indeed all these marquises, counts, barons, and princesses that you won’t find in any almanac of high society…’
Some hours earlier. La Grande Cascade in the Bois de Boulogne. The orchestra was mangling a Creole waltz. Two people came into the restaurant and sat down at the table next to ours. An elderly man with a pearl-gray moustache and a white fedora, an elderly lady in a dark-blue dress. The breeze swayed the paper lantern hanging from the trees. Coco Lacour was smoking his cigar. Esmeralda was placidly sipping a grenadine. They were not speaking. This is why I love them. I would like to describe them in meticulous detail. Coco Lacour: a red-headed giant, a blind man’s eyes sometimes aglow with infinite sadness. He often hides them behind dark glasses, and his heavy, faltering step makes him look like a sleepwalker. How old is Esmeralda? She is a tiny little slip of a girl. I could recount so many touching details about them but, exhausted, I give up. Coco Lacour and Esmeralda, their names are enough, just as their silent presence next to me is enough. Esmeralda was gazing in wide eyed wonder at the brutes in the dance band. Coco Lacour was smiling. I am their guardian angel. We will come to the Bois de Boulogne every night to savour the soft summer. We will enter the mysterious principality of lakes, wooded paths, with tea-houses hidden amid the dense foliage. Nothing here has changed since we were children. Remember?
I would like to leave a few memories, if nothing else, to leave to posterity the names of Coco Lacour and Esmeralda. Tonight I can watch over them, but for how much longer? What will become of them without me? They were my only companions.
Sooner or later the owners will come back. What saddens me most is that they’ll evict Coco Lacour and Esmeralda. I don’t feel sorry for myself.
But I hadn’t finished what I was saying. Something would be born of my old age, my loneliness, like a bubble on the tip of a straw. I waited. In an instant, it took shape: a red-headed giant, clearly blind, since he wore dark glasses. A little girl with a wizened face. I name them Coco Lacour and Esmeralda. Destitute. Sickly. Always silent. A single word, a gesture would be enough to break them. What would have become of them without me? At last I found a reason to go on living. I loved the, my poor monsters. I would watch over them…No one would harm them.
Pourquoi n’a-t-elle pas crié : « VIVE LA NATION ! » Moi je le répéterais autant de fois qu’ils le veulent. Je suis la plus docile des putains.
L’auberge, tel un bathyscaphe, échoue au milieu d’une ville engloutie. L’Atlantide ? Des noyés glissent boulevard Haussmann. (…)
Au Fouquet’s, ils demeurent autour des tables. C’est à peine si l’on distingue leurs viscères sous les lambeaux d’habits bariolés. Gare Saint-Lazare, dans la salle des pas perdus, les cadavres dérivent en groupes compacts et j’en vois qui s’échappent par les portières des trains de banlieue. Rue d’Amsterdam, ils sortent du cabaret Monseigneur, verdâtres, mais beaucoup mieux conservés que les précédents.
Je m’appelais Marcel Petiot. Seul au milieu de tous ces bagages. Inutile d’attendre. Le train ne viendrait pas. J’étais un garçon sans avenir. Qu’avais-je fait de ma jeunesse ? Les jours succédaient aux jours et je les entassais dans le plus grand désordre. De quoi remplir une cinquantaine de valises.
L’Haÿ-les-Roses. Nous avons traversé d’autres localités. De temps en temps la 11 CV du Khédive me dépassait. L’ex-commandant Constantini et Philibert roulaient à mes côtés l’espace d’un kilomètre. Je croyais mon heure venue. Pas encore. Ils me laissaient gagner du terrain. Mon front bute contre le volant. La route est bordée de peupliers. Il suffirait d’un geste maladroit. Je continue d’avancer dans un demi-sommeil.
J’avais au départ une grande fraîcheur d’âme. Cela se perd, en cours de route.