Q:
What is a rate? he asks.
It is a number divided by time.
What is a ratio? he asks.
It is a number divided by another number.
What is the difference between a rate and a ratio?
One is a subset of the other, like a square is always a rectangle but a rectangle is not always a square. (c)
Q:
The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half in liquid state and half in gaseous, both of which are probably poisonous. (c)
Q:
Diamond is no longer the hardest mineral known to man. New Scientist reports that lonsdaleite is. Lonsdaleite is 58 percent harder than diamond and forms only when meteorites smash themselves into Earth. (c)
Q:
The desire to throw something at his head never goes away. Depending on what he says, it is either the computer or the desk. (c)
Q:
From kindergarten to sixth grade, his mother puts handwritten notes in his lunch box. She writes things like You are my sun and stars.
That’s sweet, I say, until I think more about the phrase.
You cannot be two things at once: You are not light, both wave and particle. You are not Schrödinger’s cat, both dead and alive. (c)
Q:
DNA unzips to replicate and undergo meiosis, to make things like egg and sperm that come together to make things like babies.
It is this unzipping that I find sensual. It is like the unzipping of a woman’s dress. (c)
Q:
In Arizona, a PhD advisor dies. Authorities blame the grad student who shot him, but grad students around the world blame the advisor. No student can graduate without the advisor’s approval. This advisor had kept the student in lab for seventeen years, believing him too valuable to be let go or simply having gone insane. I think, Kudos to the student for making it to seventeen years. I would have shot someone at ten.
My advisor is more reasonable than that, which is why he is still alive. (c)
Q:
A Chinese proverb predicts that for every man with great skill, there is a woman with great beauty.
In ancient China, there are four great beauties:
The first so beautiful that when fish see her reflection they forget how to swim and sink.
The second so beautiful that birds forget how to fly and fall.
The third so beautiful that the moon refuses to shine.
The fourth so beautiful that flowers refuse to bloom.
I find it interesting how often beauty is shown to make the objects around it feel worse. (c)
Q:
What my mother lacks in vision, she makes up for in hindsight. (c)
Q:
What’s the worst that could happen? says everybody.
And when all this encouragement gets to my head and I finally work up the nerve to tell them: Mom, Dad, I’m not going to finish my PhD. I’m quitting.
My mother says, Don’t call me again. Don’t even think about coming home.
She says, Who do you think you are? You are nothing to me without that degree. (c0
Q:
A weird problem I have is that fat collects only on my abdomen and never on my arms or legs or below the chin.
Lucky you, the best friend says, who is growing all over. She says the glow they talk about is a lie. Glow is just another way to say fat, sweaty, and radiating hormonal rage. She feels like a crazed hippo most of the time.
I think the glow is probably still there, just hard to see, in the ultraviolet or higher. (c)
Q;
Everyone is a genius, said Einstein. But he also said, A person who has not made his great contribution to science before the age of thirty will never do so.
Likewise, a mathematician peaks at the age of twenty-six. For whatever reason, after that young age, the creativity needed to do the work diminishes. (c)
Q:
What the shrink says about hobbies: You should find some. Do you have any? You should find some.
What the lab mate says about hobbies: You can never do science as a hobby. Once you give up science, you give it up completely.
What my father says about hobbies: Growing a seasonal vegetable garden is essential. (c)
Q:
Biologically, physical strength comes from mitochondria, which are organelles that generate all of our body’s energy. A unique feature of mitochondria is that they have their own DNA. Whereas the rest of the body is built on code that is half paternal and half maternal, mitochondrial DNA is entirely maternal and passed down from the mother. (c)