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BALLS: It Takes Some to Get Some
2016 SHELF AWARENESS BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR IN NONFICTION 2016 FOREWORD INDIES GOLD WINNER FOR LGBT AMAZON BEST SELLER IN LGBT, TRANSGENDER, AND HUMOR Changing your gender from female to male takes balls. And if you’re going to do it in front of five hundred coworkers at the largest ad agency in Boston, you’d better have a pretty big set! At a time when the term transgender didn’t exist, and with support from family, friends, and a great therapist, Chris Edwards endured 28 surgeries to become the person he always knew he was meant to be. He used the principles of marketing along with his ever-present sense of humor to rebrand himself and orchestrate what was quite possibly the most widely accepted and embraced gender transition of its kind. He’s a pioneer who changed the perception of an entire community, and his memoir, BALLS, will touch readers’ hearts and change quite a few minds. Edwards is funny, brazen, and endearing, and BALLS is a hilarious and inspiring story about family, friends, and the courage to be your true self. It boldly and fearlessly goes where other trans memoirs don’t. If you’ve ever felt uncomfortable in your own skin–for whatever reason–you will be inspired and empowered by this book. A portion of the proceeds of BALLS will be donated to Camp Aranu’tiq, a nonprofit program serving transgender youth and their families.
264 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 4, 2016
60 people are currently reading
1065 people want to read
About the author
Chris Edwards
119 books24 followersChris made his advertising debut in 1993 as a copywriter at Arnold Worldwide, a high profile ad agency in Boston. There he used what he learned working in advertising along with his ever-present sense of humor to rebrand himself and orchestrate what was quite possibly the most widely accepted and embraced gender transition of its kind–at a time when the word “transgender” didn’t exist.
He eventually became more known for his creative talent than his transition. He was the first to use YouTube content in a TV spot with two guys rapping about McNuggets and is responsible for the earworm, Gimme back that Filet-O-Fish, gimme that fiiiiish. He was also part of the creative team on Truth, which was recently ranked one of the Top 15 Ad Campaigns of the 21st Century.
After building an award-winning career spanning nearly twenty years, Chris left his Arnold post as EVP, Group Creative Director to write his memoir, BALLS. Since then he’s become a sought-after speaker, inspiring audiences with his courageous story and compelling message that we actually have the power to control how others define us.
He eventually became more known for his creative talent than his transition. He was the first to use YouTube content in a TV spot with two guys rapping about McNuggets and is responsible for the earworm, Gimme back that Filet-O-Fish, gimme that fiiiiish. He was also part of the creative team on Truth, which was recently ranked one of the Top 15 Ad Campaigns of the 21st Century.
After building an award-winning career spanning nearly twenty years, Chris left his Arnold post as EVP, Group Creative Director to write his memoir, BALLS. Since then he’s become a sought-after speaker, inspiring audiences with his courageous story and compelling message that we actually have the power to control how others define us.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 97 reviews
October 12, 2016
WONDERFUL book!!!!!!
It's impossible not to fall in love with Chris Edwards. This is one of the best and most inspiring memoirs about the entire process in changing your gender that I've ever read!!! It's an awesome story by an awesome guy!!!!
Chris changed his gender from female to male. He grew up in Boston, graduated from Colgate University with degrees in psychology and sociology. He began his award-winning advertising career as a copywriter at Arnold Worldwide.
"The key to understanding gender dysphoria is realizing that sexual orientation and gender identity are two different and completely separate things. One isn't dependent on the other. This is where most of the confusion happens-- for everybody".
"Brian's gender identity was completely separate from his sexual orientation. Like me, his gender identity was male, but while I was "straight" ( attracted to women), he was
"gay" (attracted to men). He still looked in the mirror and hated what he saw just like I did. The fact that he was attracted to men had nothing to do with that".
"Bottom line is, your gender identity has no bearing on whether you are gay or straight. Think of it this way: Sexual orientation is who you go to bed 'with'; gender identity is who you go to bed as".
The above distinction is what really made things "click" for Chris when he ( who had not yet transitioned), was struggling - with the support of therapy to understand the truth. He 'knew' he was a boy inside as young as 5 years old.
But.... all this "UNDERSTANDING"....didn't make anything BETTER.
He was still depressed - crippled - fearful of his future- with ongoing thoughts of suicide.
When you read Chris's story - we begin to see the magnitude of how being born in the wrong body - has got to be one of the hardest - most painful - frightening- lonely - experiences for any human being.
Chris was blessed with a supportive family. It still wasn't a piece of cake coming out to his family -- and his parents accepting all the surgeries-- and fears etc. but his family would stand behind him. He comes from a large Armenian family.... great parents -- two supportive sisters - lots of aunts and cousins -- which is critical to a successful transition. Unfortunately many trans kids don't have the support which is why more than 50% of them attempt suicide before their twentieth birthday.
When MY friend Steven transitioned - to DEBBIE .... SHE lost most of her friends. The marriage ended - Their child was kept in secret for years - Debbie moved - changed jobs - (from lawyer to nurse)-- Paul and I have been friends with Debbie for at least 25 years. It took about 10 years of watching Steven complete her transition to Debbie. We are the only friends left from 'before' transition.
What is so inspiring about Chris, is he is opening up new doors of possibilities.
His book "BALLS", is a positive SUCCESSFUL TRANS STORY.
Chris had great support from his therapist -sisters - father - mother - special aunt - doctors - close friends -- he WAS able to transition in 'front' of everyone ---rather than leave town.
One of the most important guiding principles Chris got before and after his transition was: "I had the ability to control the way people responded to me--that the way I acted could actually shape the way others reacted. If I came off ashamed or secretive, people would gossip and rumors would spread. But if I handled myself openly with dignity and grace, people would treat me kind".
Chris is a gem. He 'is' kind.... lovable, approachable, people feel comfortable being around him. People adore Chris-
When it came time for Chris to tell people the truth about himself to friends outside his immediate family- he had 87 names -( he has a lot of friends). If he took each one of these people to dinner to break the news - it would also break his bank account! -- but he was good at strategizing.... and figured things out.
This is not only an important book for the transgender community---but for the
rest of us who 'were' born in our correct gender body.
Chris covers the details thoroughly. When the Doc asked Chris if he wanted hairy balls --- his mom jumped right in ... "no, you definitely don't want hairy balls".
Chris tells all .....
About.....
removing hair -flying out to Palo Alto to meet a doctor-- flying to Nashville to meet another doctor -the procedures --( 22 surgeries in 5 years) --other family illness - mom making homemade paklava for the 'Doc' - hospital stays-- hospital bills--pain -nausea-scars - leaking boo-boo's - other set backs--and the BIG SURGERY ...building a penis -'wow' ( gives me a whole new kind of respect for modern medicine), --plus dating, desires, disappointments, joys, telling the truth, turning 40, sex, and love.
I wanted to stand up and cheer for Chris when I was done reading this story! I love this guy and his cool sisters and parents - family and close friends!!!
Chris has created something very special by writing this book.
It's exceptional & transformational. Great laughs to boot!
......As his friend Marilyn told Chris before he transition ... "If you're gonna get a penis, make it a big one".
Thank You Greenleaf Book Press, Netgalley, and *Chris Edwards*!!!!
It's impossible not to fall in love with Chris Edwards. This is one of the best and most inspiring memoirs about the entire process in changing your gender that I've ever read!!! It's an awesome story by an awesome guy!!!!
Chris changed his gender from female to male. He grew up in Boston, graduated from Colgate University with degrees in psychology and sociology. He began his award-winning advertising career as a copywriter at Arnold Worldwide.
"The key to understanding gender dysphoria is realizing that sexual orientation and gender identity are two different and completely separate things. One isn't dependent on the other. This is where most of the confusion happens-- for everybody".
"Brian's gender identity was completely separate from his sexual orientation. Like me, his gender identity was male, but while I was "straight" ( attracted to women), he was
"gay" (attracted to men). He still looked in the mirror and hated what he saw just like I did. The fact that he was attracted to men had nothing to do with that".
"Bottom line is, your gender identity has no bearing on whether you are gay or straight. Think of it this way: Sexual orientation is who you go to bed 'with'; gender identity is who you go to bed as".
The above distinction is what really made things "click" for Chris when he ( who had not yet transitioned), was struggling - with the support of therapy to understand the truth. He 'knew' he was a boy inside as young as 5 years old.
But.... all this "UNDERSTANDING"....didn't make anything BETTER.
He was still depressed - crippled - fearful of his future- with ongoing thoughts of suicide.
When you read Chris's story - we begin to see the magnitude of how being born in the wrong body - has got to be one of the hardest - most painful - frightening- lonely - experiences for any human being.
Chris was blessed with a supportive family. It still wasn't a piece of cake coming out to his family -- and his parents accepting all the surgeries-- and fears etc. but his family would stand behind him. He comes from a large Armenian family.... great parents -- two supportive sisters - lots of aunts and cousins -- which is critical to a successful transition. Unfortunately many trans kids don't have the support which is why more than 50% of them attempt suicide before their twentieth birthday.
When MY friend Steven transitioned - to DEBBIE .... SHE lost most of her friends. The marriage ended - Their child was kept in secret for years - Debbie moved - changed jobs - (from lawyer to nurse)-- Paul and I have been friends with Debbie for at least 25 years. It took about 10 years of watching Steven complete her transition to Debbie. We are the only friends left from 'before' transition.
What is so inspiring about Chris, is he is opening up new doors of possibilities.
His book "BALLS", is a positive SUCCESSFUL TRANS STORY.
Chris had great support from his therapist -sisters - father - mother - special aunt - doctors - close friends -- he WAS able to transition in 'front' of everyone ---rather than leave town.
One of the most important guiding principles Chris got before and after his transition was: "I had the ability to control the way people responded to me--that the way I acted could actually shape the way others reacted. If I came off ashamed or secretive, people would gossip and rumors would spread. But if I handled myself openly with dignity and grace, people would treat me kind".
Chris is a gem. He 'is' kind.... lovable, approachable, people feel comfortable being around him. People adore Chris-
When it came time for Chris to tell people the truth about himself to friends outside his immediate family- he had 87 names -( he has a lot of friends). If he took each one of these people to dinner to break the news - it would also break his bank account! -- but he was good at strategizing.... and figured things out.
This is not only an important book for the transgender community---but for the
rest of us who 'were' born in our correct gender body.
Chris covers the details thoroughly. When the Doc asked Chris if he wanted hairy balls --- his mom jumped right in ... "no, you definitely don't want hairy balls".
Chris tells all .....
About.....
removing hair -flying out to Palo Alto to meet a doctor-- flying to Nashville to meet another doctor -the procedures --( 22 surgeries in 5 years) --other family illness - mom making homemade paklava for the 'Doc' - hospital stays-- hospital bills--pain -nausea-scars - leaking boo-boo's - other set backs--and the BIG SURGERY ...building a penis -'wow' ( gives me a whole new kind of respect for modern medicine), --plus dating, desires, disappointments, joys, telling the truth, turning 40, sex, and love.
I wanted to stand up and cheer for Chris when I was done reading this story! I love this guy and his cool sisters and parents - family and close friends!!!
Chris has created something very special by writing this book.
It's exceptional & transformational. Great laughs to boot!
......As his friend Marilyn told Chris before he transition ... "If you're gonna get a penis, make it a big one".
Thank You Greenleaf Book Press, Netgalley, and *Chris Edwards*!!!!
October 24, 2022
5★ for a brave memoir
“Bottom line is, your gender identity has no bearing on whether you are gay or straight. Think of it this way: Sexual orientation is who you go to bed with; gender identity is who you go to bed as.”
What’s not to love about a book that explains warts (and hairs) and all how a guy changed his life in ways and for reasons most of us never think about? You need to read this.
Imagine, if you will, waking up one morning, going into the bathroom to shave, and a lady is looking at you from the mirror. Or imagine going to the mirror to put on your lippy and mascara, but staring back at you is a hairy bloke.
My dad, who developed dementia, said he was glad he wasn’t as bad as some guy he read about who woke up, looked in the mirror one morning and said, “Who the hell are you?!”
Of course, this isn’t Chris Edwards’ experience, but equally shattering was the shock of realising at puberty that he was really STUCK in the wrong body, new boobs, periods and all.
Even as a tot, he had said he wasn’t “one of the girls” (one of three sisters) because he was a boy. But it wasn’t until years later, after postponing his planned suicide many times over the course of his school career, that he discovered, to his enormous relief, that he had a recognised medical condition: gender dysphoria.
“The fact that there was an actual medical term that described what I had been feeling my entire life had completely blown my mind. It made me feel validated—relieved that I wasn’t insane and that there were others who felt the same way I did.”
Chris tells his story with lots of funny anecdotes, plenty of good gossipy sorts of references to the ad-world that he works in, and a lot of good-natured self-deprecation about how intensely self-absorbed he became during his transition. Credit where credit is due, too, especially to his parents who forked out a LOT of money to pay for the surgeries (and therapy!) to help him through it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this informative peek – no this privileged PERV – under the sheets, to see what he went through.
It’s also very entertaining. Early in the piece, the head of broadcast of the ad agency (his dad is the CEO) decided to inform her team what Chris was going through and that everyone was supporting him and they’d better watch their own backs if they didn’t!
“When she asked if there were any questions, the first one out of the gate was, ‘Are we all going to be on Oprah, and if so, what should we wear?’”
Chris felt decidedly lucky. He frequently quotes statistics (and gives references).
“Ninety percent of transgender employees are harassed, mistreated, or discriminated against at work, and more than a quarter said they were fired because of their transition.”
He noticed a lot of changes in his temperament as the hormone (testosterone) treatment kicked in. He realised guys really do feel more aggressive and probably are less likely to burst into tears. So don’t pick on a guy because he’s not reacting as you think he should.
“Bottom line: If a guy cries less than a girl, it isn’t necessarily because he is unfeeling or less emotional. More likely, it’s due to his hormonal make-up. Unless, of course, he really is just a dick.”
And if you meet someone who is transgender, don’t ask about surgery.
“First, it’s none of your business. Second, it’s offensive because by asking that question you are implying that the person is not the gender they feel they are unless they alter their genitals. The fact is gender identity is not defined by what’s inside your pants; it’s defined by what’s inside your brain.”
Thanks for writing this book, Chris, for giving answers to the questions we didn’t even know we wanted to ask! And thanks to NetGalley for the preview copy from which I’ve quoted. Apologies if the quotes have changed since, but I’m sure the sentiment hasn’t.
“Bottom line is, your gender identity has no bearing on whether you are gay or straight. Think of it this way: Sexual orientation is who you go to bed with; gender identity is who you go to bed as.”
What’s not to love about a book that explains warts (and hairs) and all how a guy changed his life in ways and for reasons most of us never think about? You need to read this.
Imagine, if you will, waking up one morning, going into the bathroom to shave, and a lady is looking at you from the mirror. Or imagine going to the mirror to put on your lippy and mascara, but staring back at you is a hairy bloke.
My dad, who developed dementia, said he was glad he wasn’t as bad as some guy he read about who woke up, looked in the mirror one morning and said, “Who the hell are you?!”
Of course, this isn’t Chris Edwards’ experience, but equally shattering was the shock of realising at puberty that he was really STUCK in the wrong body, new boobs, periods and all.
Even as a tot, he had said he wasn’t “one of the girls” (one of three sisters) because he was a boy. But it wasn’t until years later, after postponing his planned suicide many times over the course of his school career, that he discovered, to his enormous relief, that he had a recognised medical condition: gender dysphoria.
“The fact that there was an actual medical term that described what I had been feeling my entire life had completely blown my mind. It made me feel validated—relieved that I wasn’t insane and that there were others who felt the same way I did.”
Chris tells his story with lots of funny anecdotes, plenty of good gossipy sorts of references to the ad-world that he works in, and a lot of good-natured self-deprecation about how intensely self-absorbed he became during his transition. Credit where credit is due, too, especially to his parents who forked out a LOT of money to pay for the surgeries (and therapy!) to help him through it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this informative peek – no this privileged PERV – under the sheets, to see what he went through.
It’s also very entertaining. Early in the piece, the head of broadcast of the ad agency (his dad is the CEO) decided to inform her team what Chris was going through and that everyone was supporting him and they’d better watch their own backs if they didn’t!
“When she asked if there were any questions, the first one out of the gate was, ‘Are we all going to be on Oprah, and if so, what should we wear?’”
Chris felt decidedly lucky. He frequently quotes statistics (and gives references).
“Ninety percent of transgender employees are harassed, mistreated, or discriminated against at work, and more than a quarter said they were fired because of their transition.”
He noticed a lot of changes in his temperament as the hormone (testosterone) treatment kicked in. He realised guys really do feel more aggressive and probably are less likely to burst into tears. So don’t pick on a guy because he’s not reacting as you think he should.
“Bottom line: If a guy cries less than a girl, it isn’t necessarily because he is unfeeling or less emotional. More likely, it’s due to his hormonal make-up. Unless, of course, he really is just a dick.”
And if you meet someone who is transgender, don’t ask about surgery.
“First, it’s none of your business. Second, it’s offensive because by asking that question you are implying that the person is not the gender they feel they are unless they alter their genitals. The fact is gender identity is not defined by what’s inside your pants; it’s defined by what’s inside your brain.”
Thanks for writing this book, Chris, for giving answers to the questions we didn’t even know we wanted to ask! And thanks to NetGalley for the preview copy from which I’ve quoted. Apologies if the quotes have changed since, but I’m sure the sentiment hasn’t.
November 28, 2016
*3.5 stars*
A trans-journey for the privileged 1%; light, pleasant, mildly informative, and entertaining.
I've read a number of fiction and non-fiction books about transgendered people, and I'm always interested in more. I'm finally at a place where I can say that I understand a lot about trans people, including how gender is separate from sexuality, how people who are trans are ALWAYS the gender that they feel inside, even if their bodies don't reflect that truth at first, and a fair amount about the effects of hormones and surgery and how personal the choice is to undergo top/bottom surgery or other plastic surgery. I'm very grateful that we live in a time where there are public trans figures (Caitlin Jenner and Jazz, to name a couple), and people are more and more educated on what it means to be transgender.
Chris Edwards grew up before ALL of that.
Immediately upon starting this book, I liked Chris Edwards. He is funny, charming, affable, and knows how to write. I've read a few amateur-author books, and Chris seemed like a seasoned pro. It made this book easy reading, which I enjoyed.
If you know a lot about trans men (or trans women), most of the information in this book will be already known to you. However, I always like reading about someone finally seeing someone in the mirror that they recognize after growing up in the wrong body for so long. I wholeheartedly cheered Chris on, and I enjoyed reading about his likeable friends, sweet, supportive family, and his relatable dating trials and tribulations. In truth, I liked a lot about this story.
This is also unlike any trans story that I've ever read, fictional or non-fiction. Never before have I read about such an easy trans journey. Now, take *easy* with a HUGE grain of salt. Chris was depressed and suicidal for a number of years before coming out as trans, and I don't think for a second that Chris had an effortless time of it. However, if a trans-journey can be called "ideal," then Chris's was ideal.
Chris led a very privileged life in a very liberal part of America. He worked for his father, who owned a large ad agency in Boston, and never had any doubts about job security with coming out. In fact, every single person in the company seemed to embrace him with open arms, even joking and assisting him during all of his surgeries. No one even had issues when he used the men's room while still sporting long hair, pre-testosterone.
In addition, every member of Chris's family supported him 100%, even his grandma and extended family. Literally no one had issues with his transition.
To top it off, Chris was completely supported financially by his family. Sure, Chris worked hard, but every surgery, including months of laser hair-removal, liposuction, top surgery, and the staggering $100,000+ phalloplasty surgery, was paid for by his parents. He was shuttled back and forth from fancy hotel suite to fancy hotel suite in a limo, each time accompanied by a member of his family. He flew at the drop of the hat all around the country to have consultation after consultation with plastic surgeons and specialists. There is no doubt that Chris had it relatively easy.
Look, I'm GLAD to have a happy trans story where things really work out and the person isn't disowned or forced to live on the streets or something horrible like that. I also don't begrudge Chris for having a great family and having money. That is AWESOME for him, honestly. However, it does give a very slanted view of what the journey is like for trans people, which isn't accurate for 99.9% of trans individuals. Those readers not familiar with how hard and painful it truly is for many trans people may not fully appreciate those realities. Many trans men would probably love a "deluxe model" phalloplasty with a penis that is both large, realistic, and functional and be able to point to one in a lineup of penises and say "that one," but most trans men won't be able to have that experience, which Chris said made him finally feel whole.
I think that this is a good story that will offer a different point of view on the trans journey than what is already out there, and I had a great time reading it. I applaud Chris for sharing his story with us, and for showing readers a lighter, more uplifting type of memoir.
*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*
A trans-journey for the privileged 1%; light, pleasant, mildly informative, and entertaining.
I've read a number of fiction and non-fiction books about transgendered people, and I'm always interested in more. I'm finally at a place where I can say that I understand a lot about trans people, including how gender is separate from sexuality, how people who are trans are ALWAYS the gender that they feel inside, even if their bodies don't reflect that truth at first, and a fair amount about the effects of hormones and surgery and how personal the choice is to undergo top/bottom surgery or other plastic surgery. I'm very grateful that we live in a time where there are public trans figures (Caitlin Jenner and Jazz, to name a couple), and people are more and more educated on what it means to be transgender.
Chris Edwards grew up before ALL of that.
Immediately upon starting this book, I liked Chris Edwards. He is funny, charming, affable, and knows how to write. I've read a few amateur-author books, and Chris seemed like a seasoned pro. It made this book easy reading, which I enjoyed.
If you know a lot about trans men (or trans women), most of the information in this book will be already known to you. However, I always like reading about someone finally seeing someone in the mirror that they recognize after growing up in the wrong body for so long. I wholeheartedly cheered Chris on, and I enjoyed reading about his likeable friends, sweet, supportive family, and his relatable dating trials and tribulations. In truth, I liked a lot about this story.
This is also unlike any trans story that I've ever read, fictional or non-fiction. Never before have I read about such an easy trans journey. Now, take *easy* with a HUGE grain of salt. Chris was depressed and suicidal for a number of years before coming out as trans, and I don't think for a second that Chris had an effortless time of it. However, if a trans-journey can be called "ideal," then Chris's was ideal.
Chris led a very privileged life in a very liberal part of America. He worked for his father, who owned a large ad agency in Boston, and never had any doubts about job security with coming out. In fact, every single person in the company seemed to embrace him with open arms, even joking and assisting him during all of his surgeries. No one even had issues when he used the men's room while still sporting long hair, pre-testosterone.
In addition, every member of Chris's family supported him 100%, even his grandma and extended family. Literally no one had issues with his transition.
To top it off, Chris was completely supported financially by his family. Sure, Chris worked hard, but every surgery, including months of laser hair-removal, liposuction, top surgery, and the staggering $100,000+ phalloplasty surgery, was paid for by his parents. He was shuttled back and forth from fancy hotel suite to fancy hotel suite in a limo, each time accompanied by a member of his family. He flew at the drop of the hat all around the country to have consultation after consultation with plastic surgeons and specialists. There is no doubt that Chris had it relatively easy.
Look, I'm GLAD to have a happy trans story where things really work out and the person isn't disowned or forced to live on the streets or something horrible like that. I also don't begrudge Chris for having a great family and having money. That is AWESOME for him, honestly. However, it does give a very slanted view of what the journey is like for trans people, which isn't accurate for 99.9% of trans individuals. Those readers not familiar with how hard and painful it truly is for many trans people may not fully appreciate those realities. Many trans men would probably love a "deluxe model" phalloplasty with a penis that is both large, realistic, and functional and be able to point to one in a lineup of penises and say "that one," but most trans men won't be able to have that experience, which Chris said made him finally feel whole.
I think that this is a good story that will offer a different point of view on the trans journey than what is already out there, and I had a great time reading it. I applaud Chris for sharing his story with us, and for showing readers a lighter, more uplifting type of memoir.
*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*
February 10, 2017
4 stars - I really enjoyed this memoir.
As Chris Edwards put it himself: "an autobiography is about someone's entire life from start to finish. A memoir is about a certain period or event in someone's life and focuses the story around that."
This book got me completely hooked even if it's my first book about a transgender person.
What's amazing about the story? It really is Chris Edwards' experience of transitioning and becoming a MAN, and what a man!
He shared with the world his story, all his struggles and frustrations, but with a lot of humor.
What I love most about it is that even if Chris got into so much through the years: depression in his young years and then pain from many surgeries, he still kept his humor and tried to make the best of it.
"If you think naming your child is hard, try naming yourself."
This is a story about a successful transition, which ends with such a good note.
I think he tried and succeeded to share his story and also give a good example of a trans person who was not afraid to make his dreams come true.
I became part of 'Team Edwards" too. I think he did a marvelous job in sticking to his beliefs, having the courage to transition in front of his family and so many coworkers. He was blessed having their support. Nothing is more important than being treasured and loved no matter what. Even if family's support should be unconditionally, the suicide rates of trans teens show us life is not kind with most of them.
At times, I though Chris Edwards really is an over-sharer, because some scenes were described in too many details, but in the end it made me feel like I was told such an unique experience from a friend, a very honest, kind and sweet friend.
I received a copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
As Chris Edwards put it himself: "an autobiography is about someone's entire life from start to finish. A memoir is about a certain period or event in someone's life and focuses the story around that."
This book got me completely hooked even if it's my first book about a transgender person.
What's amazing about the story? It really is Chris Edwards' experience of transitioning and becoming a MAN, and what a man!
He shared with the world his story, all his struggles and frustrations, but with a lot of humor.
What I love most about it is that even if Chris got into so much through the years: depression in his young years and then pain from many surgeries, he still kept his humor and tried to make the best of it.
"If you think naming your child is hard, try naming yourself."
This is a story about a successful transition, which ends with such a good note.
I think he tried and succeeded to share his story and also give a good example of a trans person who was not afraid to make his dreams come true.
I became part of 'Team Edwards" too. I think he did a marvelous job in sticking to his beliefs, having the courage to transition in front of his family and so many coworkers. He was blessed having their support. Nothing is more important than being treasured and loved no matter what. Even if family's support should be unconditionally, the suicide rates of trans teens show us life is not kind with most of them.
At times, I though Chris Edwards really is an over-sharer, because some scenes were described in too many details, but in the end it made me feel like I was told such an unique experience from a friend, a very honest, kind and sweet friend.
I received a copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
October 29, 2022
Growing up, Kris knew she was a boy ... until at age 6 she saw a friend peeing over a rail and realized she was missing some essential equipment. Still Kris believed that penis would eventually grow in ... until the day she hit puberty and realized that she was trapped in her female body. Kris changed from a laid-back kid to a depressed angry youth who eventually planned to go to college ... and party a lot ... and kill herself after graduation.
Kris finally shared her feelings with her family and they were 100% behind her decision to get gender reassignment surgery - a long process starting in 1992 with therapy, getting the diagnosis of gender dysphoria, coming out to family, friends and coworkers, changing her name to Chris Edwards, beginning testosterone injections, getting a mastectomy and hysterectomy, and finally the "bottom surgery" which took 28 surgeries to get everything fully functional.
Edwards does a wonderful job of telling his story with grace and humor. His therapist helped him realize "I had the ability to control the way people responded to me - that the way I acted could actually shape the way others reacted." Chris was open and genuine and encouraged questions from those around him every step of the way. I like how Chris explains it all:
I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Kris finally shared her feelings with her family and they were 100% behind her decision to get gender reassignment surgery - a long process starting in 1992 with therapy, getting the diagnosis of gender dysphoria, coming out to family, friends and coworkers, changing her name to Chris Edwards, beginning testosterone injections, getting a mastectomy and hysterectomy, and finally the "bottom surgery" which took 28 surgeries to get everything fully functional.
Edwards does a wonderful job of telling his story with grace and humor. His therapist helped him realize "I had the ability to control the way people responded to me - that the way I acted could actually shape the way others reacted." Chris was open and genuine and encouraged questions from those around him every step of the way. I like how Chris explains it all:
Bottom line is, your gender identity has no bearing on whether you are gay or straight. Think of it this way: Sexual orientation is who you go to bed with; gender identity is who you go to bed as.BALLS: It Takes Some to Get Some is an amazing book, beautifully told with a great narrative flow. I highly recommend it!
I received an ARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
May 6, 2017
I have a crush on Chris Edwards!
With a title like this, how could I possibly have passed on reading this. No way.
I was not sure if I would like it but I am open minded and curious so I started reading. I LOVED THIS BOOK!
Chris Edwards is an excellent story teller. Reading this memoir is like sitting on a comfy sofa with a drink and a snack talking to him. He does not hold back nor does he spin things to show how easy everything went. I really liked how numerous times he admitted that he was lucky to come from well off parents who were willing to help pay for all of his surgeries. He says he is a lucky one who was able to go for the deluxe model that most people can’t afford. There was no arrogance involved with these statements. In fact, I found Mr. Edwards to be very humble.
I can not begin to imagine what it feels like to be in the wrong body. After finishing Balls I am proud to say that I understand a lot more than I did going in. I love this quote: “The fact is gender identity is not defined by what’s inside your pants; it’s defined by what’s inside your brain.”
I laughed out loud in so many places and I will admit to cringing while reading about how a new penis is built. Transgender people are brave souls to be sure. I loved how Mr. Edwards faced everything with humility, grace and most importantly humor.
I have to say a big thank you to Chris Edwards for writing this book, bringing these issues out into the open where conversations can be started. Thank you for the laughs, the cringes and the education that I received from reading this book!
Netgalley provided me a free galley of this book.
With a title like this, how could I possibly have passed on reading this. No way.
I was not sure if I would like it but I am open minded and curious so I started reading. I LOVED THIS BOOK!
Chris Edwards is an excellent story teller. Reading this memoir is like sitting on a comfy sofa with a drink and a snack talking to him. He does not hold back nor does he spin things to show how easy everything went. I really liked how numerous times he admitted that he was lucky to come from well off parents who were willing to help pay for all of his surgeries. He says he is a lucky one who was able to go for the deluxe model that most people can’t afford. There was no arrogance involved with these statements. In fact, I found Mr. Edwards to be very humble.
I can not begin to imagine what it feels like to be in the wrong body. After finishing Balls I am proud to say that I understand a lot more than I did going in. I love this quote: “The fact is gender identity is not defined by what’s inside your pants; it’s defined by what’s inside your brain.”
I laughed out loud in so many places and I will admit to cringing while reading about how a new penis is built. Transgender people are brave souls to be sure. I loved how Mr. Edwards faced everything with humility, grace and most importantly humor.
I have to say a big thank you to Chris Edwards for writing this book, bringing these issues out into the open where conversations can be started. Thank you for the laughs, the cringes and the education that I received from reading this book!
Netgalley provided me a free galley of this book.
February 7, 2017
4.5 really real stars rounded up to 5 because still no 1/2 stars here on GR and this is real guys!!! Non-fiction! I don't read non-fiction, so what does that tell you?
I've totally moved outside of the box on this...it's not even fiction. That's right this one is a memoir and I have to say I'm pretty damned nervous doing a review of someone's life or rather the telling of a part of that person's life, especially when that person is sharing some incredibly personal details. I'm not even sure where to begin on this one so if this turns out to be one big ramble...please accept my apologies in advance.
Ok first thing I want to say is this guy's got cojones...big ones! because he is entrusting everyone who reads this book with some incredibly personal and intimate information about himself (I'm not saying it's a big secret...because well, hello! book?) still these are very personal details about a very personal part of this person's life. Things that he doesn't need to share but he is and he's doing it not for himself but because there's a very real, very vulnerable section of our society out there who hopefully will benefit from one man's courage to speak out, to tell a story that yes might make some people a little uncomfortable....hell they may even squirm a little, but it might also make some people say 'Wow! If he can do it, I can. I'm not alone, I'm not a freak or the only person who has ever felt like this."
'Balls...It takes some to get some' is the story of one person's journey to have their body become who their mind knew they were meant to be. Starting life as the man he knew he was suppose to be was not gods (or nature's, whichever works for you) plan for Chris Edwards, but it was the hand that got dealt to him and Chris knew this was the change that had to happen in order for him to be happy and be who he felt he was suppose to be.
I probably looked at this book on Net Galley a half a dozen times before I finally decided I needed to read this. There were a number of reasons why I did and didn't want to read it but ultimately it was just plain old curiosity that won out. I had questions things I wondered about, wanted to know and in the end I realized this was probably going to be my best chance to find out. I know they say curiosity killed the cat but in this case it led the cat (that would be me) to an incredibly well told and socially relevant story as well as appeasing my curiosity and giving me what I hope is a more informed insight to part of our society that struggles more than anyone should ever have to.
Told from the author's personal experiences the reader is taken on a journey that in spite of having the benefit of a strong support system and access to quality medical care is neither easy nor painless. For me the most heartbreaking part of this story is the fact that there are so many others who struggle with this journey and lack not just the finances but the support of friends and/or family. As well as telling his story Chris Edwards educates and it was this education that brought tears to my eyes because knowing something in the vague abstract isn't the same as being given the facts of what you know and then having personal details added to highlight those facts. Things like more than 50% of trans kids will attempt suicide before their 20th birthday, sorry if that doesn't make you at least fight back some tears and anger at the unfairness that this is a fact than I guess you're a much tougher person than I am when it comes to kids because I can't even begin to pretend that this fact alone isn't deeply disturbing for me. Ok, sorry I got a little derailed there back to the book.
There are honestly so many awesome things I could say about this book but I have to admit because of the subject matter I also know I would take off on more than one rant and my review could possibly end up being as long or longer than the book. So I'm going to wrap it up with just a couple more thoughts the first one being 'BALLS it takes some to get some' is a well written and insightful memoir told with wit, humor, intelligence and dignity and with a strength of character that not all possess but maybe if more of the world did it would be a much better place for those who need it to be and lastly, thank you Chris Edwards for writing a story about a sadly maligned and poorly understood segment of our society that shows it to the rest of the world in a more positive and informed light.
I'm pretty sure this ones going on my top 10 list for 2016. Definitely recommended.
********************
A copy of "BALLS, it takes some to get some" was graciously provided via Net Galley by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
I've totally moved outside of the box on this...it's not even fiction. That's right this one is a memoir and I have to say I'm pretty damned nervous doing a review of someone's life or rather the telling of a part of that person's life, especially when that person is sharing some incredibly personal details. I'm not even sure where to begin on this one so if this turns out to be one big ramble...please accept my apologies in advance.
Ok first thing I want to say is this guy's got cojones...big ones! because he is entrusting everyone who reads this book with some incredibly personal and intimate information about himself (I'm not saying it's a big secret...because well, hello! book?) still these are very personal details about a very personal part of this person's life. Things that he doesn't need to share but he is and he's doing it not for himself but because there's a very real, very vulnerable section of our society out there who hopefully will benefit from one man's courage to speak out, to tell a story that yes might make some people a little uncomfortable....hell they may even squirm a little, but it might also make some people say 'Wow! If he can do it, I can. I'm not alone, I'm not a freak or the only person who has ever felt like this."
'Balls...It takes some to get some' is the story of one person's journey to have their body become who their mind knew they were meant to be. Starting life as the man he knew he was suppose to be was not gods (or nature's, whichever works for you) plan for Chris Edwards, but it was the hand that got dealt to him and Chris knew this was the change that had to happen in order for him to be happy and be who he felt he was suppose to be.
I probably looked at this book on Net Galley a half a dozen times before I finally decided I needed to read this. There were a number of reasons why I did and didn't want to read it but ultimately it was just plain old curiosity that won out. I had questions things I wondered about, wanted to know and in the end I realized this was probably going to be my best chance to find out. I know they say curiosity killed the cat but in this case it led the cat (that would be me) to an incredibly well told and socially relevant story as well as appeasing my curiosity and giving me what I hope is a more informed insight to part of our society that struggles more than anyone should ever have to.
Told from the author's personal experiences the reader is taken on a journey that in spite of having the benefit of a strong support system and access to quality medical care is neither easy nor painless. For me the most heartbreaking part of this story is the fact that there are so many others who struggle with this journey and lack not just the finances but the support of friends and/or family. As well as telling his story Chris Edwards educates and it was this education that brought tears to my eyes because knowing something in the vague abstract isn't the same as being given the facts of what you know and then having personal details added to highlight those facts. Things like more than 50% of trans kids will attempt suicide before their 20th birthday, sorry if that doesn't make you at least fight back some tears and anger at the unfairness that this is a fact than I guess you're a much tougher person than I am when it comes to kids because I can't even begin to pretend that this fact alone isn't deeply disturbing for me. Ok, sorry I got a little derailed there back to the book.
There are honestly so many awesome things I could say about this book but I have to admit because of the subject matter I also know I would take off on more than one rant and my review could possibly end up being as long or longer than the book. So I'm going to wrap it up with just a couple more thoughts the first one being 'BALLS it takes some to get some' is a well written and insightful memoir told with wit, humor, intelligence and dignity and with a strength of character that not all possess but maybe if more of the world did it would be a much better place for those who need it to be and lastly, thank you Chris Edwards for writing a story about a sadly maligned and poorly understood segment of our society that shows it to the rest of the world in a more positive and informed light.
I'm pretty sure this ones going on my top 10 list for 2016. Definitely recommended.
********************
A copy of "BALLS, it takes some to get some" was graciously provided via Net Galley by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.
Read
November 4, 2016DNF at 45%
It is for sure an interesting insight into a very private life of a transgender person, and I chosen this book not just out of idle curiosity, but because I wanted to learn more about transgender people.
I started this memoir with a lot of enthusiasm, especially after reading books by Renee James. Renee James is an author of Bobbi Logan Crime Novel series that I fell in love with. They are fictional books with a great transgender character, though knowing some facts from the author's life, one can admit, that in these books she spoke from her soul.
Chris Edwards wrote an autobiographical book and shared his real life experiences with his readers. AND I wanted a REAL STORY.
I really enjoyed the beginning, but somewhere, along the way, I lost my interest. The story started to remind me more and more of a catalogue with organizational problems: Who has to be said first, how to explain it at work, what steps are the most important to discuss with the therapist, how to change a pass and a driving license.
I know that all these things are very important and for sure very helpful, if you want to go through transition, or if you know someone who went/goes/plans to go through transition. Or if you know Chris Edwards personally.
I have to add also, Chris Edwards has the best family, one could imagine in such situation - wealthy and extremely supportive, he has the best friends, who accepted and understood his decision straightaway. Not that I wish more drama, but...the book lacks something essential, I can't even explain. It just left me indifferent, and it is very pity.
I didn't want to DNF it, I feel bad to do it, but at some point it lost its uniqueness and became just a boring narrative.
Chris Edwards has all my respect for his honesty and openness, but I had to give up.
**Copy provided by the Publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review**
October 15, 2016
Review to come
November 4, 2016
This was absolutely fantastic. I have never felt so freaking proud of a stranger. I'm in awe
October 26, 2020
Chris Edwards is a transgender man who takes us through his journey of realizing he was a boy in a girl's body to the end result of being a man. I really liked Chris and his sense of humor. I liked how he knew what he wanted and was willing to do all the work and suffer through upwards of 20 surgeries to get it. I learned a lot about the process and Chris's mind set. His parents and family were extremely supportive and in a time when insurance wouldn't cover the surgery his parents did. It was heart breaking to learn of his depression and thoughts of suicide and it broke my heart more knowing that he felt that way even with all his supports. How devastating to be going through that with no support system or acceptance. Thank you for being so honest.
November 25, 2016
3.5 of 5 stars – Privileged, Mild-Mannered, Yet Informative & Witty.
[I'm excited to have won this as a Goodreads First Read – so thanks, Greenleaf Book Group!]
In his epilogue, Chris Edwards expressed a hope that his story would "continue the conversation" and that by "hearing more success stories" like his it would give a "more complete picture of the transgender population." While this was not representative of most trans experiences, it still reflected some of the trauma, emotions and struggles that come with that life in a informative and witty way.
Chris Edwards is a gifted storyteller, chronologically relating a series of scenarios that flowed smoothly from one to the next, teasing me at the end of one leading into the next. It had a nice, funny start, talking about getting used to his "new equipment," and continued to make me smile by humorously revealing "guy things" that I hadn't thought much about in the ways a transman needs to learn (how to shake hands, use the urinal, date, talk and kid each other). While there was not much new here for me, Edwards extended that education in explaining how hormones can result in not just physical but emotional differences between guys and gals (directness, aggressiveness, sensitivity and being emotional).
In the process, he shed light on the fears and emotions he had growing up and coming to terms with his gender identify and in his journey of transitioning. I liked his perspective when he came out to others (because it applies to any big change, personal or organizational), "[My family, and later, friends] were hearing it for the first time….It was unfair of me to expect them to be okay with everything right out of the gate. I'd been living with my gender issue my whole life….I needed to be patient. They had a lot of catching up to do." Yes, as many of us do, Chris, and you've helped with that.
Yet there were several ways I wish Edwards had gone further. As an small example, he explained that because they were the terms used at the time, he talked about "gender reassignment" surgery, but also said that "sex reassignment" surgery is more common now, and even that "gender affirmation" or "confirmation" surgery are the more politically sensitive. I wished he had used the latter so that I could get used to hearing and saying that myself.
He also portrayed himself positively, skipping over what may have put him in a bad light He was an ad man, after all, so he knew how to sell the story, even when being slightly self-deprecating, drawing sympathy. And he skipped quickly through jr., hi school and college - ones most formative years - maybe because he wanted to keep things more positive, or he didn't want to revisit those painful times he didn't consider "a success"? I was even surprised that someone who majored in psychology didn't think about getting therapy sooner, a mystery partly because we don't know much of those pre-graduate years. Knowing more of those years could have been telling psychologically, as well as helpful to others.
Instead, the story mainly focused on his coming out and transition. Of most import was that I felt even this gave a slanted view to people who are not familiar with transgender issues. In the epilogue, Edwards finally acknowledged that he was "one of the luck ones," whereas for a "majority of the trans population, the picture isn't quite so rosy." I would drop the words "quite so;" it actually goes beyond that. His was in fact in a white, privileged, protected environment - not at all representative of 99% of transgenders (very similar to Caitlyn Jenner). Just to illustrate the difference: he had as much money as needed to get all the affirmation surgery he wanted (over 20 operations to get the "deluxe model," running easily into the 6 figures); a very supportive family and group of friends (no one really rejected him or gave him grief); older and college educated; able to find work and advance at his Dad's ad firm; one of the most liberal work, urban Massachusetts and upper-crust communities - such that he rarely encountered the prejudiced treatment to the level most everyone else gets. It's poorer, younger and minority transgenders who are in the most dire straits. They are not in the socio-economic status that is more accommodating than the one that leads the majority of transgender people to be bullied, attacked, murdered, and attempt and commit suicide.
At the same time, as Edwards said, it is also good for transgender people to hear stories with happy endings, to show that it is possible. And for those who haven't read much about transgender issues, this was informative and told in an engaging way. I'm glad I read this; it made me smile with its humor and gave insight and renewed appreciation for a group of people who have been misunderstood and maltreated for far too long.
[I'm excited to have won this as a Goodreads First Read – so thanks, Greenleaf Book Group!]
In his epilogue, Chris Edwards expressed a hope that his story would "continue the conversation" and that by "hearing more success stories" like his it would give a "more complete picture of the transgender population." While this was not representative of most trans experiences, it still reflected some of the trauma, emotions and struggles that come with that life in a informative and witty way.
Chris Edwards is a gifted storyteller, chronologically relating a series of scenarios that flowed smoothly from one to the next, teasing me at the end of one leading into the next. It had a nice, funny start, talking about getting used to his "new equipment," and continued to make me smile by humorously revealing "guy things" that I hadn't thought much about in the ways a transman needs to learn (how to shake hands, use the urinal, date, talk and kid each other). While there was not much new here for me, Edwards extended that education in explaining how hormones can result in not just physical but emotional differences between guys and gals (directness, aggressiveness, sensitivity and being emotional).
In the process, he shed light on the fears and emotions he had growing up and coming to terms with his gender identify and in his journey of transitioning. I liked his perspective when he came out to others (because it applies to any big change, personal or organizational), "[My family, and later, friends] were hearing it for the first time….It was unfair of me to expect them to be okay with everything right out of the gate. I'd been living with my gender issue my whole life….I needed to be patient. They had a lot of catching up to do." Yes, as many of us do, Chris, and you've helped with that.
Yet there were several ways I wish Edwards had gone further. As an small example, he explained that because they were the terms used at the time, he talked about "gender reassignment" surgery, but also said that "sex reassignment" surgery is more common now, and even that "gender affirmation" or "confirmation" surgery are the more politically sensitive. I wished he had used the latter so that I could get used to hearing and saying that myself.
He also portrayed himself positively, skipping over what may have put him in a bad light He was an ad man, after all, so he knew how to sell the story, even when being slightly self-deprecating, drawing sympathy. And he skipped quickly through jr., hi school and college - ones most formative years - maybe because he wanted to keep things more positive, or he didn't want to revisit those painful times he didn't consider "a success"? I was even surprised that someone who majored in psychology didn't think about getting therapy sooner, a mystery partly because we don't know much of those pre-graduate years. Knowing more of those years could have been telling psychologically, as well as helpful to others.
Instead, the story mainly focused on his coming out and transition. Of most import was that I felt even this gave a slanted view to people who are not familiar with transgender issues. In the epilogue, Edwards finally acknowledged that he was "one of the luck ones," whereas for a "majority of the trans population, the picture isn't quite so rosy." I would drop the words "quite so;" it actually goes beyond that. His was in fact in a white, privileged, protected environment - not at all representative of 99% of transgenders (very similar to Caitlyn Jenner). Just to illustrate the difference: he had as much money as needed to get all the affirmation surgery he wanted (over 20 operations to get the "deluxe model," running easily into the 6 figures); a very supportive family and group of friends (no one really rejected him or gave him grief); older and college educated; able to find work and advance at his Dad's ad firm; one of the most liberal work, urban Massachusetts and upper-crust communities - such that he rarely encountered the prejudiced treatment to the level most everyone else gets. It's poorer, younger and minority transgenders who are in the most dire straits. They are not in the socio-economic status that is more accommodating than the one that leads the majority of transgender people to be bullied, attacked, murdered, and attempt and commit suicide.
At the same time, as Edwards said, it is also good for transgender people to hear stories with happy endings, to show that it is possible. And for those who haven't read much about transgender issues, this was informative and told in an engaging way. I'm glad I read this; it made me smile with its humor and gave insight and renewed appreciation for a group of people who have been misunderstood and maltreated for far too long.
February 26, 2017
What an insightful, fascinating, well-told story. I have a family friend who transitioned from female to male, and I've always had questions, but knew I couldn't ask them. Chris answered these Qs for me (and I know there's no way that T could afford the deluxe model).
Chris is my age, and I kept thinking about what it must have been like for him growing up in the 80s and 90s, knowing you're in the wrong body. People weren't as knowledgeable and accepting back then. It also helps (as Chris acknowledges) that he grew up in liberal Boston and his parents had money. I can't imagine someone doing what he did in my conservative (ahem, backwards) WV hometown. But times have changed. My kids know someone from grade school (now at high school) who is transitioning to male. My kids don't bat an eye (as they shouldn't). I talked to them about what I was learning in this book and we discussed some things. It was so great to be able to do that and to hear their views. I would like to thank Chris for sharing his story so candidly and with so much humor.
Chris is my age, and I kept thinking about what it must have been like for him growing up in the 80s and 90s, knowing you're in the wrong body. People weren't as knowledgeable and accepting back then. It also helps (as Chris acknowledges) that he grew up in liberal Boston and his parents had money. I can't imagine someone doing what he did in my conservative (ahem, backwards) WV hometown. But times have changed. My kids know someone from grade school (now at high school) who is transitioning to male. My kids don't bat an eye (as they shouldn't). I talked to them about what I was learning in this book and we discussed some things. It was so great to be able to do that and to hear their views. I would like to thank Chris for sharing his story so candidly and with so much humor.
May 13, 2017
Reviewed for Foreword Books IndieFab Awards.
Extremely well-told story about a man's FTM transition. Not afraid to share any of the gory (and often humorous) details, Chris Edwards really gives us a great story.
Extremely well-told story about a man's FTM transition. Not afraid to share any of the gory (and often humorous) details, Chris Edwards really gives us a great story.
September 28, 2016
The Author take us through the story of his changing from female to male. This is an honest and open telling of a difficult journey.
March 5, 2022
While an interesting snapshot into the time of being trans in the mid nineties, I found the book too overly focused on surgeries so that it just dragged after a while and wasn’t really relatable or that compelling. Always glad for more trans representation, but also didn’t feel very represented.
March 11, 2020
DNF — the author really embraced a toxic kind of masculinity when he transitioned. I’m not fond of bros of any gender. It also felt like a real reduction of transness to mere body parts.
October 5, 2016
I received a copy of this book through the Goodreads giveaways, began reading, and couldn't put this book down.
I was incredibly moved by everything that Chris went through, most of all his incredibly bravery and sense of humor (I laughed non stop) in light of incredible odds. His bravery in writing this memoir is not lost on me either. The transgender community is underrepresented in the media - though thankfully this is beginning to change - and this was honestly the first time I have heard the story of someone who has undergone a FTM transition. I learned so much and can empathize so much better with Chris's situation having read his story.
This book is not only appropriate for young men and women who are going through a similar process and facing similar stigma as Chris, but also for anyone who hopes to understand the unique challenges that the transgender community face.
I was incredibly moved by everything that Chris went through, most of all his incredibly bravery and sense of humor (I laughed non stop) in light of incredible odds. His bravery in writing this memoir is not lost on me either. The transgender community is underrepresented in the media - though thankfully this is beginning to change - and this was honestly the first time I have heard the story of someone who has undergone a FTM transition. I learned so much and can empathize so much better with Chris's situation having read his story.
This book is not only appropriate for young men and women who are going through a similar process and facing similar stigma as Chris, but also for anyone who hopes to understand the unique challenges that the transgender community face.
January 11, 2017
There is just so much to like in this story. It is truthful, witty and informative. You will find yourself cheering Chris on throughout his entire journey. Chris is a talented writer who entertains as he explains his deepest secrets to you. I think lots of questions are answered about many of the "behind the scenes" aspects of being transgender. He answers what many want to know but probably shouldn't ask. This book is great for other transgender people as well as those who want to understand what it means to be transgender. You will laugh and cry and want to keep reading page after page!!
September 18, 2018
To say I loved this book would be selling it short. First, trans stories of all kinds need more visibility. Second, trans stories with happy endings need ANY visibility they can get. Too often, we are murdered or commit suicide. To see someone make it through to middle age and live happy and healthy is just.... Amazing. I teared up a lot reading this because a lot of it hit close to home for me. I would recommend this book to trans people and cis people alile, tbh.
October 15, 2016
*ARC received via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review*
A witty, hopeful and optimistic view on the struggle of a man to be who he was always meant to be.
An important story with an important message that should be widely spread.
A witty, hopeful and optimistic view on the struggle of a man to be who he was always meant to be.
An important story with an important message that should be widely spread.
July 3, 2017
Good reading
I really enjoyed reading the whole book. A lot I already knew since I have many transgender friends. But I found more information that I didn't want to ask my transgender friends since it really is none of my business .
I really enjoyed reading the whole book. A lot I already knew since I have many transgender friends. But I found more information that I didn't want to ask my transgender friends since it really is none of my business .
July 22, 2017
Chris Edwards has balls!
I read this book for a few reasons. It was recommended on a podcast as a touching memoir by a writer with a good sense of humor. I also read it in order to improve my understanding of transgendered people and gender confirmation surgery. I also enjoy a good memoir, especially one that broadens my knowledge and perspective. Home run on all counts. That's my lame attempt at a ball joke!
Chris was born an anatomical female, but that never felt right to him. His family just assumed that he was tomboyish or possibly a mannish lesbian. He came out to his family after college. They were supportive, but they certainly made some missteps along the way as they struggled to understand. The memoir focuses mostly on Chris' adulthood and his very difficult journey through hormone replacement and gender confirmation surgery. He did all of this while trying to keep his job in his father's advertising company and while trying to keep friends and date women. His initial impulse was to relocate and start fresh with people who only knew him as Chris. He took the more difficult path of allowing friends and family to accompany and support him during years of changes. He did all of this with grace and good humor.
One criticism of this book is that it presents an unrealistic picture of transgender acceptance. True, Chris comes from a wealthy family who were willing to help with expensive surgeries that are not covered by insurance. He also lived in a liberal community and worked in typically liberal creative field. He also had a predominately positive experience with friends and with his medical team. He acknowledges this and knows that others are not as fortunate. However, I think that he deserves a lot of credit for the level of acceptance that he received. He was honest and direct with people, asked for help, and was funny. In other words, he was himself and people accepted him.
The sections about the surgeries are extremely interesting and detailed. Frankly, I had not thought about the amount of time and work that goes into this. It is more than just hormones and reshaping flaps of skin. Chris wanted to go "all the way" with gender confirmation surgery. He had a mastectomy, hysterectomy, and surgeries to construct testicles and a functioning penis. Anyone who thinks that being transgendered is a fad or a choice should read the sections about surgery. No one would put themselves through something like that for fun or attention. You do that to save your life and to feel right in your body.
Sadly, Chris' experience of loving friends and family will not be the same as most. However, I think this book offers hope. It also provides a lot of information and some good tips on how to be respectful to transgendered people. Additionally, it puts a very human face on this nice family and their son. Unfortunately, the people who really need to read this book will never pick it up. Maybe word-of-mouth marketing will work here too.
I read this book for a few reasons. It was recommended on a podcast as a touching memoir by a writer with a good sense of humor. I also read it in order to improve my understanding of transgendered people and gender confirmation surgery. I also enjoy a good memoir, especially one that broadens my knowledge and perspective. Home run on all counts. That's my lame attempt at a ball joke!
Chris was born an anatomical female, but that never felt right to him. His family just assumed that he was tomboyish or possibly a mannish lesbian. He came out to his family after college. They were supportive, but they certainly made some missteps along the way as they struggled to understand. The memoir focuses mostly on Chris' adulthood and his very difficult journey through hormone replacement and gender confirmation surgery. He did all of this while trying to keep his job in his father's advertising company and while trying to keep friends and date women. His initial impulse was to relocate and start fresh with people who only knew him as Chris. He took the more difficult path of allowing friends and family to accompany and support him during years of changes. He did all of this with grace and good humor.
One criticism of this book is that it presents an unrealistic picture of transgender acceptance. True, Chris comes from a wealthy family who were willing to help with expensive surgeries that are not covered by insurance. He also lived in a liberal community and worked in typically liberal creative field. He also had a predominately positive experience with friends and with his medical team. He acknowledges this and knows that others are not as fortunate. However, I think that he deserves a lot of credit for the level of acceptance that he received. He was honest and direct with people, asked for help, and was funny. In other words, he was himself and people accepted him.
The sections about the surgeries are extremely interesting and detailed. Frankly, I had not thought about the amount of time and work that goes into this. It is more than just hormones and reshaping flaps of skin. Chris wanted to go "all the way" with gender confirmation surgery. He had a mastectomy, hysterectomy, and surgeries to construct testicles and a functioning penis. Anyone who thinks that being transgendered is a fad or a choice should read the sections about surgery. No one would put themselves through something like that for fun or attention. You do that to save your life and to feel right in your body.
Sadly, Chris' experience of loving friends and family will not be the same as most. However, I think this book offers hope. It also provides a lot of information and some good tips on how to be respectful to transgendered people. Additionally, it puts a very human face on this nice family and their son. Unfortunately, the people who really need to read this book will never pick it up. Maybe word-of-mouth marketing will work here too.
August 8, 2017
"The key to understanding gender dysphoria is realizing that sexual orientation and gender identity are two different and completely separate things. One isn't dependent on the other. This is where most of the confusion happens-- for everybody".
Chris tells his story with lots of funny anecdotes, plenty of good gossipy sorts of references to the ad-world that he works in, and a lot of good-natured self-deprecation about how intensely self-absorbed he became during his transition. Credit where credit is due, too, especially to his parents who forked out a LOT of money to pay for the surgeries (and therapy!) to help him through it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this informative peek – no this privileged PERV – under the sheets, to see what he went through.
It’s also very entertaining. Early in the piece, the head of broadcast of the ad agency (his dad is the CEO) decided to inform her team what Chris was going through and that everyone was supporting him and they’d better watch their own backs if they didn’t!
Chris Edwards is an excellent story teller. Reading this memoir is like sitting on a comfy sofa with a drink and a snack talking to him. He does not hold back nor does he spin things to show how easy everything went. I really liked how numerous times he admitted that he was lucky to come from well off parents who were willing to help pay for all of his surgeries. He says he is a lucky one who was able to go for the deluxe model that most people can’t afford. There was no arrogance involved with these statements. In fact, I found Mr. Edwards to be very humble.
I cannot begin to imagine what it feels like to be in the wrong body. After finishing Balls I am proud to say that I understand a lot more than I did going in. I love this quote: “The fact is gender identity is not defined by what’s inside your pants; it’s defined by what’s inside your brain.”
I laughed out loud in so many places and I will admit to cringing while reading about how a new penis is built. Transgender people are brave souls to be sure. I loved how Mr. Edwards faced everything with humility, grace and most importantly humor.
I have to say a big thank you to Chris Edwards for writing this book, bringing these issues out into the open where conversations can be started. Thank you for the laughs, the cringes and the education that I received from reading this book!
Chris tells his story with lots of funny anecdotes, plenty of good gossipy sorts of references to the ad-world that he works in, and a lot of good-natured self-deprecation about how intensely self-absorbed he became during his transition. Credit where credit is due, too, especially to his parents who forked out a LOT of money to pay for the surgeries (and therapy!) to help him through it.
I thoroughly enjoyed this informative peek – no this privileged PERV – under the sheets, to see what he went through.
It’s also very entertaining. Early in the piece, the head of broadcast of the ad agency (his dad is the CEO) decided to inform her team what Chris was going through and that everyone was supporting him and they’d better watch their own backs if they didn’t!
Chris Edwards is an excellent story teller. Reading this memoir is like sitting on a comfy sofa with a drink and a snack talking to him. He does not hold back nor does he spin things to show how easy everything went. I really liked how numerous times he admitted that he was lucky to come from well off parents who were willing to help pay for all of his surgeries. He says he is a lucky one who was able to go for the deluxe model that most people can’t afford. There was no arrogance involved with these statements. In fact, I found Mr. Edwards to be very humble.
I cannot begin to imagine what it feels like to be in the wrong body. After finishing Balls I am proud to say that I understand a lot more than I did going in. I love this quote: “The fact is gender identity is not defined by what’s inside your pants; it’s defined by what’s inside your brain.”
I laughed out loud in so many places and I will admit to cringing while reading about how a new penis is built. Transgender people are brave souls to be sure. I loved how Mr. Edwards faced everything with humility, grace and most importantly humor.
I have to say a big thank you to Chris Edwards for writing this book, bringing these issues out into the open where conversations can be started. Thank you for the laughs, the cringes and the education that I received from reading this book!
November 25, 2023
This book describes--often in graphic detail--Chris Edwards' transition into manhood and the emotional and physical journey he endured to get there.
I'll start with the obvious criticism of this book: Chris' dad is a CEO, so his story is one where money didn't have to be an object. While he often acknowledges this along the way, this is not the story of an everyman's experience with transitioning.
I wrestled with this problem, because I read a book like this and think "Oh, it would be great to have this so parents of trans children could have something to help them understand." However, this experience of being able to take endless days off work and being able to afford six-figure surgeries is not a reality for most Americans today. Additionally, while his family struggled to accept him at first, they did remain generally loving and supportive throughout this experience, which is not the scenario I've seen for trans children that I have known.
However, I would like to put forth that the experience Chris had should serve as an aspirational one. Hopefully, trans children in the future will not have to choose between losing their friends and their family and continuing to live in a way that stifles who they are, with often devastating results.
Chris treats his narrative with constant humor, pulling you in as though you're talking to him at his favorite pizza place, and breaking up a narrative filled with some grotesque bodily functions with jokes at his own expense and anecdotes that show how he was able to live his life as a normal man. It's an enjoyable read, and an educational one, since he describes many of his surgeries in detail, including the necessary electrolysis and other side treatments he underwent to get bottom surgery in the first place.
If you want to know more about a trans man's life, and you'd like a good laugh, pick this one up. More importantly, in a world where queer narratives are often weighted down with a trauma-centered mentality, Chris' story focuses on friendship, family, and hope through all the difficulties he encountered on his journey.
I'll start with the obvious criticism of this book: Chris' dad is a CEO, so his story is one where money didn't have to be an object. While he often acknowledges this along the way, this is not the story of an everyman's experience with transitioning.
I wrestled with this problem, because I read a book like this and think "Oh, it would be great to have this so parents of trans children could have something to help them understand." However, this experience of being able to take endless days off work and being able to afford six-figure surgeries is not a reality for most Americans today. Additionally, while his family struggled to accept him at first, they did remain generally loving and supportive throughout this experience, which is not the scenario I've seen for trans children that I have known.
However, I would like to put forth that the experience Chris had should serve as an aspirational one. Hopefully, trans children in the future will not have to choose between losing their friends and their family and continuing to live in a way that stifles who they are, with often devastating results.
Chris treats his narrative with constant humor, pulling you in as though you're talking to him at his favorite pizza place, and breaking up a narrative filled with some grotesque bodily functions with jokes at his own expense and anecdotes that show how he was able to live his life as a normal man. It's an enjoyable read, and an educational one, since he describes many of his surgeries in detail, including the necessary electrolysis and other side treatments he underwent to get bottom surgery in the first place.
If you want to know more about a trans man's life, and you'd like a good laugh, pick this one up. More importantly, in a world where queer narratives are often weighted down with a trauma-centered mentality, Chris' story focuses on friendship, family, and hope through all the difficulties he encountered on his journey.
October 17, 2017
I picked this one up from a big display at the library because the author is coming to speak in November. Chris tells the story of coming of age and coming out as transgender in the 90s. He grew up in the area where I live and still lives in Boston, so I enjoyed many of the local references throughout the book.
I consider myself pretty familiar with the FTM coming out & transitioning process, so at times I didn’t feel a ton of motivation to make it through Chris’ story. When I wasn’t reading it, I thought about abandoning it, but when I was actively reading, I was engaged and wanted to keep going.
Chris does not hide the fact that he comes from a great deal of privilege. After doing some Googling, I learned that Chris comes from way more wealth than I even imagined! This explains how he was able to pay out of pocket for so many surgeries. This makes Chris’ story pretty unique because not only did he have a huge desire & willingness to change his body physically through surgery, but also because he was able to elect to have so many surgeries without concern for the cost. It was pretty incredible to think about all the costs associated with the travel, hotel stays, and surgeries over the years.
I did appreciate that Chris included many statistics about transgender experiences, as well as some tips about etiquette (such as refraining from asking a trans person what their name “used to be”). Overall, a pretty interesting read and I am curious to possibly attend his keynote address at my local library.
I consider myself pretty familiar with the FTM coming out & transitioning process, so at times I didn’t feel a ton of motivation to make it through Chris’ story. When I wasn’t reading it, I thought about abandoning it, but when I was actively reading, I was engaged and wanted to keep going.
Chris does not hide the fact that he comes from a great deal of privilege. After doing some Googling, I learned that Chris comes from way more wealth than I even imagined! This explains how he was able to pay out of pocket for so many surgeries. This makes Chris’ story pretty unique because not only did he have a huge desire & willingness to change his body physically through surgery, but also because he was able to elect to have so many surgeries without concern for the cost. It was pretty incredible to think about all the costs associated with the travel, hotel stays, and surgeries over the years.
I did appreciate that Chris included many statistics about transgender experiences, as well as some tips about etiquette (such as refraining from asking a trans person what their name “used to be”). Overall, a pretty interesting read and I am curious to possibly attend his keynote address at my local library.
May 24, 2022
PSA: The author mentions binding with Ace bandages but this is generally NOT advised as a binding technique due to the bandages constricting your chest enough to cause problems breathing, more information here.
So…. I read this one one night. Some people say familiarity with basic trans facts led them to not find this book very interesting, but I already knew a lot and found it engaging — very light reading, just pulled me through. I wanted to see the process, so I enjoyed the sections about how he came out to the people around him -- it was very methodical, haha.
Content warning (for the book) of suicidial ideation and cancer. There’s also some frank body talk that the immature may be uncomfortable with.
Occasionally, I was struck by how this almost is like a real-life version of the Author’s Note in If I Was Your Girl that explained how the main character was written to be the most understandable to cis audiences possible — goes through surgery, always knew, very binary, etc. Not to deride Chris Edwards’ experience — evidently people like this are very real!
Most lower reviews here cite how privileged he is, and while it’s certainly true, I don’t think it’s quite fair to criticize the book about his life for things he is. He does acknowledge it, but I suppose not enough for some people…
Sometimes the timeline seemed a bit off — chapters start with a date, but oftentimes talk about similar events or the follow-up without giving any sense of how long after it was, so it seemed like some things weren’t told linearly, but it was hard to be sure.
I’m thoroughly impressed by how well everyone around him took his transition, considering this was 25 or so years ago. I wonder if it can be attributed in any part (I am well aware of a number of other factors) to his ability to communicate it in ways people will truly understand — he did work in advertising, after all. (Also, it was briefly mentioned that he did very well in school, and you know intelligent people tend to be around other smart people, who are then more likely (but not guaranteed) to be open to new ideas, and therefore take better to things such as this.)
I happen to have some close relatives in Wayland (a teacher and students), so you may find it pleasant to know that the number of out trans kids in that town has increased from one a grade being a big deal in the mid 2010s, to there currently being at least half a dozen in the high school right now, of varying binary/genderqueer-ness (though not all are 100% "out") — and one recently hired non-binary teacher!
I was visiting, in fact, the Wayland Public Library when this book caught my eye (a “local author” sticker is proudly displayed on the side). I was intrigued by the title, but expected something about like, sports or whatever. To my surprise and joy it was this!
I checked it out from my library as soon as I could. I couldn’t even resist finishing the other books I’m reading before picking it up. And, well, as per the first line, I didn’t put it down until I was done.
Random notes and observations (as is the style of these reviews):
There was a bit where I would have liked there to be a clarification that periods are not inherently vile and something to be ashamed of -- his distaste was more about his personal dysphoria -- since there’s such a stigma about menstruation.
In a similar vein, while he perhaps could do with slightly more respect for women ability to assert their own wishes in romance, but there was nothing I really can hold strong contention to. Same with the biological differences between men and women -- if you want to read more about transmen noticing the effects of testosterone, I highly recommend this classic Time article. (And for an example of a transgender man very different from this book, I also recommend this story about a transgender man's pregnancy post-transition.)
I’m impressed they let him leave the hospital so quickly after top surgery.
Chris Edwards (sorry, I keep using his full name because “Edwards” sounds like a first name but I like the referring to authors by their last names thing) is also Christian, but besides one passage and a few offhand lines it his faith is never focused on.
A few references to pop culture (??), including a slightly bizarre, jarring one to Donald Trump, ha. (I don’t think Trump qualifies as “pop culture” but I have no idea what else to call it.)
So…. I read this one one night. Some people say familiarity with basic trans facts led them to not find this book very interesting, but I already knew a lot and found it engaging — very light reading, just pulled me through. I wanted to see the process, so I enjoyed the sections about how he came out to the people around him -- it was very methodical, haha.
Content warning (for the book) of suicidial ideation and cancer. There’s also some frank body talk that the immature may be uncomfortable with.
Occasionally, I was struck by how this almost is like a real-life version of the Author’s Note in If I Was Your Girl that explained how the main character was written to be the most understandable to cis audiences possible — goes through surgery, always knew, very binary, etc. Not to deride Chris Edwards’ experience — evidently people like this are very real!
Most lower reviews here cite how privileged he is, and while it’s certainly true, I don’t think it’s quite fair to criticize the book about his life for things he is. He does acknowledge it, but I suppose not enough for some people…
Sometimes the timeline seemed a bit off — chapters start with a date, but oftentimes talk about similar events or the follow-up without giving any sense of how long after it was, so it seemed like some things weren’t told linearly, but it was hard to be sure.
I’m thoroughly impressed by how well everyone around him took his transition, considering this was 25 or so years ago. I wonder if it can be attributed in any part (I am well aware of a number of other factors) to his ability to communicate it in ways people will truly understand — he did work in advertising, after all. (Also, it was briefly mentioned that he did very well in school, and you know intelligent people tend to be around other smart people, who are then more likely (but not guaranteed) to be open to new ideas, and therefore take better to things such as this.)
I happen to have some close relatives in Wayland (a teacher and students), so you may find it pleasant to know that the number of out trans kids in that town has increased from one a grade being a big deal in the mid 2010s, to there currently being at least half a dozen in the high school right now, of varying binary/genderqueer-ness (though not all are 100% "out") — and one recently hired non-binary teacher!
I was visiting, in fact, the Wayland Public Library when this book caught my eye (a “local author” sticker is proudly displayed on the side). I was intrigued by the title, but expected something about like, sports or whatever. To my surprise and joy it was this!
I checked it out from my library as soon as I could. I couldn’t even resist finishing the other books I’m reading before picking it up. And, well, as per the first line, I didn’t put it down until I was done.
Random notes and observations (as is the style of these reviews):
There was a bit where I would have liked there to be a clarification that periods are not inherently vile and something to be ashamed of -- his distaste was more about his personal dysphoria -- since there’s such a stigma about menstruation.
In a similar vein, while he perhaps could do with slightly more respect for women ability to assert their own wishes in romance, but there was nothing I really can hold strong contention to. Same with the biological differences between men and women -- if you want to read more about transmen noticing the effects of testosterone, I highly recommend this classic Time article. (And for an example of a transgender man very different from this book, I also recommend this story about a transgender man's pregnancy post-transition.)
I’m impressed they let him leave the hospital so quickly after top surgery.
Chris Edwards (sorry, I keep using his full name because “Edwards” sounds like a first name but I like the referring to authors by their last names thing) is also Christian, but besides one passage and a few offhand lines it his faith is never focused on.
A few references to pop culture (??), including a slightly bizarre, jarring one to Donald Trump, ha. (I don’t think Trump qualifies as “pop culture” but I have no idea what else to call it.)
February 1, 2020
Because of how much surgery has changed in the last decade (plus), this book is as much historical as it is something that would explain the journey toward having lower surgery. Nevertheless, a valuable perspective.
The author's good humor about everything was especially heartening. I have to admit, if I hadn't already known a lot about phalloplasty, his experience would have given me serious pause. Just FYI on that.
He occasionally comes across as kind of a douche by modern standards, but the harmless, likeable kind, so it'll probably be okay for most readers.
So his privilege... On the one hand, he was able to do what very trans men can, thanks to the support of his family and their ability to support his transition financially. On the other, he's an ethnic minority and while that doesn't seem to have led to marginalization, that still has to have had consequences for him. I wish he had talked more about that.
Also...why are all the hot trans men straight?
Overall, worth reading for a trans memoir focusing on the surgical aspect of transitioning.
Pairs well with Jamison Green (Becoming a Visible Man) - East Coast vs West, accepting vs non-accepting family, introvert vs extrovert, younger vs older transition.
The author's good humor about everything was especially heartening. I have to admit, if I hadn't already known a lot about phalloplasty, his experience would have given me serious pause. Just FYI on that.
He occasionally comes across as kind of a douche by modern standards, but the harmless, likeable kind, so it'll probably be okay for most readers.
So his privilege... On the one hand, he was able to do what very trans men can, thanks to the support of his family and their ability to support his transition financially. On the other, he's an ethnic minority and while that doesn't seem to have led to marginalization, that still has to have had consequences for him. I wish he had talked more about that.
Also...why are all the hot trans men straight?
Overall, worth reading for a trans memoir focusing on the surgical aspect of transitioning.
Pairs well with Jamison Green (Becoming a Visible Man) - East Coast vs West, accepting vs non-accepting family, introvert vs extrovert, younger vs older transition.
March 30, 2021
I was very torn between 3 and 4 stars for this one...it's really more like 3.5. I would definitely recommend this book for anyone who wants to learn the basics of life as a trans person or the transitioning process; if you've ever had a trans friend or family member, though, you're not going to learn anything you didn't already know. Chris is a relentlessly positive narrator, and the people around him are mostly very supportive, which is always nice to read, but the refusal to let any experience end on a negative note did take me out of his story for a bit. It seems very important to Mr. Edwards to constantly emphasize that he's living his best life now, and that none of the setbacks he experienced ever seemed insurmountable once he began his transition...which does make me wonder how much his career as a motivational/inspirational speaker affected the narrative of his memoir. I still enjoyed it, though, and would read more from him.
November 1, 2016
Fascinating book. I'm so glad that Chris Edwards wrote this. I found it interesting that as I was reading I always felt like it was written by a man. It was, of course, but I was sometimes startled to read his reaction to his female body because I was hearing a man speaking. A courageous book. An eyeopener for those of us lucky enough to be born into the right bodies. Hopefully an inspiration to those not so fortunate. I'm glad that Chris was very clear that he was exceptionally lucky to have the funds and the support to get all the surgery he needed. I do wish that there were photos. Mr Edwards explained why he had included no before pictures, but I would have liked them anyway. I did have to look online to find current pictures of him. He is a very attractive man. I wish him well. I'm grateful to have received an advance copy from the publisher in exchange for my honest review.
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