Mis-Staked

by J. Morgan

Can a 35 year old virgin who still lives in his father’s basement truly be the hero that he’s always dreamed of being? Breathred E. Petrifunck is about to find out. He is a vampire slayer with the mail order diploma on the wall to prove it, but is he ready to battle the Mother of Vampires on his first time at bat?

332 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2008

About the author

Surviving a long bout of sanity, J. Morgan found a muse willing to work cheap and began work on his first book.

Since then, his imagination has been seen running wild on several occasions. Luckily, the straight jackets have been limited to his time away from the computer.

When not writing, Jmo can be found in front of the TV pretending to write while really watching endless hours of drivel and laughing at the voices in his head who are constantly feeding him plotlines. While the voices may not be in total control just yet, one day they hope to have a book deal of their own.

Til then, J.Morgan will continue to get to spend the royalty checks.

Reviews

[Lynda Warnock]

Mis-Staked is unlike any book I have ever read. It is funny, strange, and unbelievable and manages to get you wound up so tightly in the story you can’t help yourself, I’m warning you, once you start you have to read until the end! J. Morgan does an excellent job describing Breathred E. Petrifunck or Breathy as his friend Luna calls him. He has to be one of the most lovable geeks in a long time, and yet there is more to him than meets the eye. His character building of the rest of the supporting cast is just as great, including dear Uncle Joan.

Set in Seattle, we join our hero as he is going on his first vampire slaying. Dressed in leather we get to hear how uncomfortable it is and how much it makes him sweat, but that is nothing compared to what happens when he actually arrives at his destination to slay the evil vampire. Between flying Hamburger Helper, snarling cats and a crotchety old lady the experience is a fiasco. Unfortunately this isn’t Breathred’s first disaster as we soon learn.

Oh wait I forgot to tell you one of the best parts, the story is told by Breathred’s pet chimpanzee, Stud. Yup you read it right, his name is Stud and that’s what he fancies himself. Stud can also speak, apparently at least one spell Breathred tried actually worked! Along with the Stud muffin is Luna Walking Batch, the “would be” girlfriend, if Breathy ever takes his nose out of the comic books he loves long enough to notice.

So, where were we, yes, we have Breathred, Luna and Stud. They are hired by a professor at the university to help her determine if what she has found on her archaeological dig is actually the Mother of all vampires. Meanwhile, two vampires are hot on their tail. Not only do they want the mother they want Breathred to sacrifice to the mother. You see Breathred is a 35 year old virgin. I did warn you, if you don’t remember read up! *wink*

There is actually a very involved story in the midst of Mis-Staked, and even though there technically is an end, Mr. Morgan leaves enough loose ends to ensure you’ll come back for more. Actually I could see a whole long series of the misadventures of Breathred and Luna, but hey that’s just me. Honestly, if you’re looking for a very out of the ordinary vampire book – complete with fart jokes, you really need to give this one a try. I laughed so hard in places my husband thought he was going to have to revive me. If nothing else, this book probably added about 2 years to my life span!