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Tears Heal: How to listen to our children
One of the most difficult things parents of babies and young children have to deal with are tears. When babies cry, parents shhh, or rock them to try to get them to stop. When toddlers' tantrum parents may distract them, attempt to reason with them, or ignore their crying in the hope it won't last long. It seems natural to judge the success of parenting by how much children cry. Tears Heal will allow readers to discover parenting's biggest paradigm shift, the way they respond to their children's tears. Here parents will learn how to transform their parenting by moving away from stopping feelings, towards listening instead. Tears Heal explains how children's challenging behaviour comes from unheard feelings and how through simple shifts in how we respond to their upsets we can solve our parenting struggles. Tears Heal is warm, and full of empathy for the hard work, and struggles that parents go through. It also has a strong leaning towards helping parents with their own emotions, as they deal with their children's challenging moments. It explains why we find children's feelings hard to handle, because our feelings weren't fully listened to when we were children, and shows how we can nurture and support ourselves so that we can be the parents we want to be.
- GenresParenting
290 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 6, 2016
11 people are currently reading
71 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
January 24, 2022
Bugüne kadar okuduğum ebeveynlik kitapları arasında uygulanması en zor olan fakat denemeye başladıktan sonra en kısa sürede karşılığını almaya başladığım yöntemlere sahip kitaplardan biri oldu. Hem kendi çocuğum, hem de kendi geçmiş çocukluğuma faydası dokunacak "duygularını açığa çıkarma" yollarını içeriyor.
February 5, 2017
I'd been reading Kate's blog for a while before I read her book, so I had already started to sway my parenting ideas from hard-nosed authoritarian to open and compassionate mom. This book aligns with so many things that, once I read them and think about them, finally make parenting feel like "Ah ha! Now THIS feels more like it!" It is so encouraging and packed with easy-to-follow tips that it feels more like a self-help book than a parenting book. And it works. Everything that I have implemented based on Kate's advice has helped me improve my relationship with my 5-year-old strong-willed child and helped her feel more at ease. We've improved sleep. We've improved power struggles. We've improved problem-solving. And I've learned how to address my own emotions in new ways, which helps everyone in the family. Love Kate's work. Love this book. Anyone with kids should read this. Anyone who works with people who have kids should recommend this book. It may very well change your outlook and change your life.
August 17, 2017
I received a free copy of this book as a Goodreads giveaway.
Parenting has definitely changed since our own children grew up and not always for the better.
This book was an interesting read, although it did offer advice that in some cases, I thought was wrong. There's a lot to learn about being a parent and it's a responsible job that all parents need to recognise and reflect in their parenting. All too often, parents seem to give up on their kids or merely take the simplest option.
For that reason alone, I would recommend that parents read this book and others on the same subject if it helps them to make a better effort and set their kids out on the right course in life.
Parenting has definitely changed since our own children grew up and not always for the better.
This book was an interesting read, although it did offer advice that in some cases, I thought was wrong. There's a lot to learn about being a parent and it's a responsible job that all parents need to recognise and reflect in their parenting. All too often, parents seem to give up on their kids or merely take the simplest option.
For that reason alone, I would recommend that parents read this book and others on the same subject if it helps them to make a better effort and set their kids out on the right course in life.
August 21, 2017
Well worth reading.
Well worth reading. I am familiar with hand in hand approaches but still learnt a lot from it. Everyone that communicates in any way with children should read this book.
Well worth reading. I am familiar with hand in hand approaches but still learnt a lot from it. Everyone that communicates in any way with children should read this book.
October 24, 2016
What really sets this book apart from other parenting books is its focus on the needs of the parents. The author encourages parents to spend time listening to their own emotions in order to better support their children's.
We all know how stressful it can be to deal with a screaming baby, tantrumming toddler or a melting-down pre-schooler. This book is full of coping strategies to help parents support their children's emotions without completely losing it.
Perhaps the best example of the approach is the 'broken cookie' scenario. Every parent has been faced with a child who arrives at the dinner only to find his milk in the light blue cup when actually he wanted it in the dark blue cup. Most people think, OK, I either give in and avoid the tantrum, or refuse to give in and either ignore the ensuing tantrum or punish it. Either way leaves both parent and child feeling frustrated and annoyed. Orson's approach is to not 'give in' but to empathise and listen because it's quite likely that the problem is about more than just the cup. Of course, this only works when the parent has the emotional capacity to listen, which leads straight back to the looking after ourselves bit.
Tears Heal shows how you can be a gentle parent without being a pushover.
This would make a great gift for first time parents.
We all know how stressful it can be to deal with a screaming baby, tantrumming toddler or a melting-down pre-schooler. This book is full of coping strategies to help parents support their children's emotions without completely losing it.
Perhaps the best example of the approach is the 'broken cookie' scenario. Every parent has been faced with a child who arrives at the dinner only to find his milk in the light blue cup when actually he wanted it in the dark blue cup. Most people think, OK, I either give in and avoid the tantrum, or refuse to give in and either ignore the ensuing tantrum or punish it. Either way leaves both parent and child feeling frustrated and annoyed. Orson's approach is to not 'give in' but to empathise and listen because it's quite likely that the problem is about more than just the cup. Of course, this only works when the parent has the emotional capacity to listen, which leads straight back to the looking after ourselves bit.
Tears Heal shows how you can be a gentle parent without being a pushover.
This would make a great gift for first time parents.
January 21, 2017
I received this book as a review copy and it was not quite what I expected focusing on younger children than I had expected (my fault for not paying full attention), which reduced my interest as my children are older now. I do find the hyperbole of this sort of book misleading, you will not 'Discover parenting's biggest paradigm shift" nor is it "Parenting's Best-Kept Secret", and if you are looking for this then the book will probably just make you feel bad about yourself for getting it all wrong. I think the advice at the heart of the book is sound, basically that children will benefit from as much engagement you can provide in their lives and the more you understand how they work and the more techniques you learn to influence them the better. The book provides some ideas about how to achieve this, however this has to be balanced with the demands of real life, without which you may lose your sanity. If you find self-help books a benefit, then read this as one of many for differing views.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews