Not Yet: A Memoir of Living and Almost Dying

by Wayson Choy

Framed by Wayson Choy’s two brushes with death, Not Yet is an intimate and insightful study of one man’s reasons for living.

In 2001, Wayson Choy suffered a combined asthma-heart attack. As he lay in his hospital bed, slipping in and out of consciousness, his days punctuated by the beeps of the machines that were keeping him alive, Choy heard the voices of his ancestors warning him that without a wife, he would one day die alone. And yet through his ordeal Choy was never alone; men and women, young and old, from all cultures and ethnicities, stayed by Choy’s side until he was well. When his heart failed him a second time, four years later, it was the strength of his bonds with these people, forged through countless acts of kindness, that pulled Choy back to his life.

Not Yet is a passionate, sensitive, and beautiful exploration of the importance of family, which in Choy’s case is constituted not through blood but through love. It is also a quiet manifesto for embracing life, not blind to our mortality, but knowing how lucky we are for each day that comes.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Canadian Literature, Biography Memoir, Biography, Canada

208 pages, Hardcover

First published March 31, 2009

About the author

Born in Vancouver in 1939, Wayson Choy has spent much of his life engaged in teaching and writing in Toronto. Since 1967, he has been a professor at Humber College and also a faculty member of the Humber School for Writers. He has appeared in Unfolding the Butterfly, a full-length bio-documentary by Michael Glassbourg, and was recently a host on the co-produced China-Canada film In Search of Confucius. His novels The Jade Peony and Paper Shadows have won several awards. Wayson Choy, and his book All that Matters was short listed for the 2004 Giller Prize. Choy passed away in his home on April 27, 2019, at the age of 80.

Reviews

[Tonkica · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kad ti nije vrijeme, nije! :P
Ocekivala sam "vise" o susretima sa smrcu. Dobila vrlo mlaku i na momente dosadnu Pricu o nezanimljivom zivotu. Ali, to sam samo ja! ;)

[Renata Broock · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wayson Choy has a really lovely way to describe, and a lovely prose. This book is a memoir, and we follow him from his first encounter with death, through his evolution as he's getting better, to his next near-death episode. He is at times reliable, and at times unreliable as a narrator (although I'm not sure if there is ever a reliable first person narrator), and we are, like he is throughout the ordeal, confused in time and confused about his real clinical situation, so every page has a bit of a surprise - not always a happy one. He also describes beautifully the relationship with his extended family/friends. I had read parts of The Jade Peony before (and will soon remedy this by reading it in full soon) and loved his prose and his depiction of Chinese immigrant life in British Columbia, and now I know I'm going to read all his prose (he's written two novels and two memoirs).
Also as a doctor who hasn't practiced for a while I *felt all the feelings* when being put in the place of a patient again.
Highly, highly recommended.

Read the North!!!

[Charles · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not a great book for the reader, but more intended for the author to deal with his 2 near-death experiences- the first as a result of his neglected asthma&allergies, leading to a severe attack, compounded by several cardiac complications which are not detailed; the second being acute coronary insufficiency rquiring a quadruple bypass. He describes these from a somewhat detached perspective, and intersperses various other details of his general tendency to accumulate belongings in an untidy way, his work habits, his neglect for medical advice&his refusal to take his health seriously, his various friends&acquaintances, his trip to China&the home of Confucius to make a documentary, his ambivalent approach to ghosts&Chinese superstitions...
I did not lose myself in this book, and didn't get to like or empathize with the author.

[Dianne Roberti · Rating 4 out of 5]

I met Wayson Choy recently at a book club meeting for The Jade Peony and bought Not Yet from him. I realized that while e-readers may be the way of the future, you need an ACTUAL book for an author to sign it :O) Choy's writing is like a warm, well-worn sweater. You lose yourself in its secure, relaxed and familiar scent. So lyrical, so flowing. Even when describing the life-threatening medical emergency that forced him to learn to walk and write again in his early 60s.

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

A gorgeous book about life, death, family and love. Wayson Choy details his life and recovery from two heart attacks. I liked the detail and grace in his writing. This book also lifted me up and reminded me that we all have and can create our own families, independent of the ones we are born into.

[Ml Lalonde · Rating 4 out of 5]

The heavens give us good writers to help us understand and interpret universal human experience, which is what Wayson Choi does with this memoir of suffering a catastrophic health trauma and his long, slow recovery. Choi — best know for “The Jade Peony” — writes with a beauty, precision and vulnerability that explores the meaning of health, good friends, the sadness of too little time and the way our minds manipulate and ignore illness. Despite the seriousness of the subject matter, I loved the experience of reading this book, which included what it felt like to be an out gay Asian man in the eighties and included huge sections about the family he chose (and chose him).

[Maia · Rating 5 out of 5]

“That night, I felt as if I were soaring, gliding on some invisible current. With my eyes shut tight, I saw a pattern of hands brushing against hands, multiplying into the millions, gestures making no headlines, sounding no trumpets, yet knitting together countless reasons for frenetic hearts—like mine—to rest in peace against uncertainty.”

[Louise · Rating 4 out of 5]

A sensitive and touching memoir of Wayson Choy’s two brushes with death. The first in 2001, found him suffering a combination asthma/heart attack of serious proportions that hospitalized him for over two months. The second heart attack would come four years later in September 2005 resulting in a quadruple by-pass.

Drifting in and out of consciousness in the intensive care unit at St. Michael’s hospital in downtown Toronto, Choy experienced hallucinations of fiery spirits, dragons and darkness and the voices of his long dead ancestors. His family members deceased and having no biological family after having been adopted, Choy was not alone. Throughout his life as an English teacher at Humber College and other companions and acquaintances made during his years, it was his friends who stayed by his side during both these ordeals. All through both his illnesses and long recoveries, it was Choy’s “friends” who provided the unconditional love, support and commitment to see him through to wellness again.

What we can learn from this memoir is that it isn’t mandatory to have “family” during an illness or crisis because our “friends” can and do provide the same level of unconditional love and dedication.

At only 195 pages, this made for a great afternoon read!

[Catherine · Rating 2 out of 5]

Could have been so much better. He had a great foundation for a compelling story of triumph over adversity; the love and support of his “chosen” or “adopted” family; insights into his battle on death’s door. Instead we get an almost unbelievable account of implausible medical phenomenon -- he was awake and aware (and remembers) when hospital staff calls “Code Blue” on HIMSELF, TWICE. Right. There is no depth to his analysis or even any insight into why he “let himself go” after his first brush with death...and how this may have contributed to him coming close to death a second time. Or how this may have affected his chosen/adopted family. And what happened to his original family? Did they disown him? The reader is left scratching their head after reading this, so many unanswered questions, so many unresolved, even untouched issues. Not a satisfying biography at all to read. Then again, this is reality -- which one of us has fully worked out or even acknowledged the totality of our issues?

[Eleanor Cowan · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is with deep appreciation that I read this tender memoir piece not so much about a near-death experience narrowly avoided, not so much about the stages of illness and recovery, but instead, about the emergence of a well-lived, well-loved life. The book is about the humble and happy acceptance of friendship where it was both offered and found. As a young scholar in a new city, Mr. Choy welcomed the offer of a home with a colleague, a man with a wife and toddler children. Mr Choy invested in this familial opportunity and those children grew up to be his children too. I thought it wonderful that Mr. Choy nestled in with friends so readily, and I learned that this friendship became the centerfold of his life, fanning the generous love that sustained him over his creative, writerly life and over his terrible illness. This is a highly sensitive story with fabulous observations about friendship, flaws, toleration and great tenderness. A memorable, must-read Canadian classic.

Eleanor Cowan, Author of : A History of a Pedophile's Wife

[Ari · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Rethink family, love and life"

Not Yet is a beautiful and honest story of a man's journey through close encounters with death truly reinforced his belief and experience of love and life. Within Not Yet, I am most touched with the image and vision that inspires us to look around ourselves, to see our care and love transcend the boundary that of race, nationality and circumstance - people that love us are our family. I had the privilege of meeting Wayson at his talk and chatted with him while having my pre-released copy (then) autographed. I was at the time struggling to come to terms with life and death, and I remembered his saying to me, "Why think about death? I don't think about death very often. Just live, live all the life there is." He presented his audience with origami butterflies that he made, and I took the courage to choose one with my favourite colour blue. "Wayson Choy is the one who reinforces my decision to treasure life. " This is what I would say to my readers when it comes my turn to tell my story.

[Aban (Aby) · Rating 4 out of 5]

My thanks to Alexis for recommending this book. It's a memoir of Wayson Choy's experiences from the time of his first brush with death in 2001 to his second, four years later. I LOVED his novels "Jade Peony" and really liked "All that Matters", so I was eager to learn more about the author himself.

What is so remarkable about Choy (and it says a great deal about the man) is his ability to form, and retain, close friendships. Although he did not appear to have a family to support him through his difficult times, his friends certainly did. He writes about them with affection and his experiences with a self-depricating humour that is quite delightful. His style is smooth flowing and effortless to read. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and would like to read "Paper Shadows", the memoir of his childhood in Vancouver's Chinatown.

[Vivienne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wayson Choy's memoir of nearly dying of an asthma attack, recovery and subsequent quadruple bypass over a 4 year period.

Strangely, overall this book is funny and a great reminder to take care of your health. I get the impression Mr. Choy is hilarious - his ability to manipulate those odd thoughts we all have into a narrative is genius. Mr. Choy's strong powers of emotional self-observation are at exact odds to his oblivousness to his physical self and health.

I always read acknowledgements to get a bit of perspective on the author. Mr. Choy thanks his doctor's extraordinary receptionist, which I found extremely touching.

[Jo-anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a huge fan of Choy's fictional books "The Jade Peony" and "All That Matters", I was drawn to his non-fictional story of his challenges with respiratory and cardiac illness. He documents the most intimate experience in life that all of us will share at some point; the process of dieing. As a healthcare practitioner, I see people in the ICU and rehab beds and now have a glimpse into the thoughts and hopes patients and family experience as we rush about them. The inclusion of the past voices of his Chinese elders added a very interesting dimension for me. "An old Chinatown saying came back to me: "When things go well, look behind you."

[Sherry Monger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am a fan of Wayson Choy's work- finding his writing to be thoughtful and insightful. I was not aware that he was having significant health problems as he was writing All That Matters. This memoir casts a glimpse into Choy's mind as he comes to grips with almost dying twice from a combined asthma/heart attack. We all wonder just how our end will come about,how much pain we will have to endure and how we will deal with the experience emotionally. Choy's book Not Yet grants us access to his mind during these extraordinary life events.

[Jaime · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a different book from all the other books he wrote. More of a autobiography of the author having two brushes with death. How he had neglected his health, then over time, had a second heart attack.

At times it dragged on a little bit.

Overall, I enjoyed his first 3 books more than this one. However, this one, was also very well written.

[Trudy Jaskela · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a Choy fan... Also I know his goddaughter who he refers to frequently in his book. We live in the same housing complex in Arizona.
Book is about Choy's experience after almost dying following an asthmaic attack.
States "family are the people who love and support you". I believe tht also....
Well written. Choy teaches writing at Humber College.

[Caroline Mcphail-Lambert · Rating 4 out of 5]

Exactly as it says as part of the title, "A Memoir of Living and Almost Dying."

Enjoyable read. Learned some things about Wayson Choy I did not know, and learned some things about what it might feel like to recover from a life-threatening event. Met his family of choice as that is who is family is.

[Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worth reading and I will follow up to read at least one more of his. There was a self-deprecating sense of humour that accompanied his exploration of what it was like to suffer cardiac arrest/severe asthmatic attack. The support of 'family' as well as exploring his own Chinese roots a little also added to an enjoyable read.

[Nina · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mr. Choy writes from his own personal experiences about the people that are important in his life, and to his survival from asthma and heart attack. During his recovery he contemplates his gift of life. I found his words inspiring.

[HadiDee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lightly written(less than 200 pages and easily read in an afternoon) but much food for though in this meditation/ essay/ memoir on Choy's brushes with death. The man has am amazing capacity for attracting love and friendship.

[Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite a remarkable book detailing the author's experiences of being heavily sedated after severe asthma attack and heart attack. It is amazing to know how much a person can hear when in this state.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

An easy read about a heavy subject, Wayson Choy is a wonderful story teller.

[Nouna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wayson, as he likes to be called, did it again. For anyone who has been through a life changing experience this book is a must read.

[Chung-yee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sensitive. Funny. Beautifully written. It remind us to take care of your health and to live your life when you can.

[Candice Walsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

The writing was great, the story was meh.

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

An interesting read to understand what almost dying is like for the patient.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

A reflection on what it is like to "almost die". This well-written book bares all and is a very intense read.

[Bev · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoirs are never a favourite genre of mine but I love Wayson Choy and everything he writes.

[Evonne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poignant. Beautiful language. Interesting read. Very slow, but it's a memoir about nearly dying so you don't expect action - more philosophical.