Everything but the Squeal

by John Scalzi

Originally published in the anthology [|17332280] under the title “Utere Nihil Non Extra Quiritationem Suis”

In the not-so-distant future, life is good... if you’re one of the lucky few to live in the new, ecologically-minded city-states that dot the landscape. Outside their walls, in the “wilds” -- the rotting suburbs and exurbs of America -- things have become rather more precarious.

Benjamin Washington is a kid in New St. Louis, who is on the verge of getting the boot into the wilds if he doesn’t take a job. In a last-ditch effort, he takes the only gig available to Biological Systems Interface Management... which is to say, he’s about to become a high-tech pig farmer.

It’s a letdown for Benjamin, who has always expected better things for himself. But then comes the day when New St. Louis is under attack, from without and within. The only person standing between attackers and their goal is one young pig farmer, who never even wanted to be there... but who now has to make a choice whether to co-operate with the intruders, or make a stand for his city.

Genres: Science Fiction, Short Stories, Fiction, Audiobook, Novella, Ebooks, Humor

59 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 20, 2008

About the author

John Scalzi, having declared his absolute boredom with biographies, disappeared in a puff of glitter and lilac scent.

(If you want to contact John, using the mail function here is a really bad way to do it. Go to his site and use the contact information you find there.)

Reviews

[Hilary · Rating 5 out of 5]

With his usual style, John Scalzi introduces a teenaged procrastinator for whom time has finally run out. Unqualified for most of the available jobs, Benjamin finds himself taking a role he never even imagined, doing tasks he'd rather not think about and learning what being an adult actually means.

I like authors - and directors, for that matter - who leave things to my imagination rather than spelling them out. I was not disappointed here, and the narrator (Alessandro Juliani did a great job of being a somewhat sulky but also bright Benjy.

[Dragana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ok so objectively this story is not 5 star read. Probably solid 4 stars. But I simply don't care. And hey this rating is about my taste not literal value of the book.
John Scalzi just knows how to write a story I will enjoy. I love his writing style and his humor. It's easy to read but it's not all fluff and action. In 50 pages he delivers more world building and character development then some novels with 500 and more pages.
Recommended if you are looking for short and fun science fiction story.

[Tony · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a fun little read. I'd like to read more of the stories from this universe.

[Christian · Rating 3 out of 5]

In the future cities have been sectioned off as "zero footprint" paradises while the rest of the world lives in poverty stricken slums. All the citizens of the cities have to take standardized tests and be assigned jobs by the time they are 20 or being exiled grom the cities. The protagonist of the story put off his exams until he was 20 and got a job as a carer for genetically modified pigs.
Its not bad. The story is humorous and the world is interesting enough for the duration. It doesn't have enough pigs though. The beginning produced a story that explains why a pig wound up in a wedding party and the story didn't really explain that. It was fun enough but needed a lot more pig schenanigans.

[Ashley Scow · Rating 4 out of 5]

(4.25 rounded down) Who knew following a protagonist who scoops pig shit for a living would be so entertaining?

That was actually a really fun and creative short story. It seems this is but a small part of a well-crafted sci-fi world, so I’ll have to look for more.

[Indah Threez Lestari · Rating 3 out of 5]

102 - 2017

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some novellas are just perfect, and this is one of them. Coupling humour, a very clever premise and great well drawn character.
Just clever all round

[Dr. T Loves Books · Rating 3 out of 5]

What it's about: In the not-too-distant future, Benji is living a life of ease. He's never really had to prove himself or take responsibility. But he's reached a point where he must apply for a job within his city, or he will be exiled to the wastelands outside the self-sustaining, zero-emissions, care-free world he's used to. But Benji's estimates of his abilities do not match up with the city's, and his job assignment is not quite what he'd hoped.

What I thought: I love much of Scalzi's work. In this particular case, I found myself more curious about the other stories from this anthology than about this particular story. Benji is such a jerk at first that it's hard to get on his side. But Scalzi is a good enough writer and his ideas are interesting enough that by the end of this short work, I was pretty on board with what was going on. It just took a while to get where it was going, and it didn't continue on long enough to firmly plant this one in my mind as one of Scalzi's better works.

Why I rated it like I did: The protagonist is a bit of a spoiled brat, so it's a little tough to be completely on his side. He does eventually come around, but he's tough to like at first, so this was not one of my favorite Scalzi works.

[Auggy · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 rounded up. I liked the story and found the world interesting but pretty much disliked all the characters for one reason or another. Also, the wrap up was way too quick and seemed a bit shoehorned in - kind of like "okay, I got the funny bit out so now I'm just going to tie up everything with four sentences to make it seem like a complete story". (It was more than that, but that's how it felt.) Still, amusing and creative.

[Sean Randall · Rating 4 out of 5]

utterly enjoyed this, as is almost inevitable. A clever trick, too, having more authors set in the world, so I will have to go and track down the rest of the stories here. Solid writing, characters on point and a dash of the irreverence Scales good at.

[Lukas Lovas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short and fun, classic Scalzi. I love his books, and this one has been quite enjoyable, as always :)

[begemot · Rating 2 out of 5]

In terms of the writing and the plot, it’s a pretty average story. The main character is unlikable, but that seems to be on purpose. The fact that he gets his comeuppance, is considered a hero for it, and gets “the girl” with a subsequent happy ending is rather underwhelming, because there is no character growth - he is the same kind of inconsiderate and careless asshole at the end of the story as he was in the beginning.

The reason for my low rating, however, is that I don’t consider putting two mildly negative characters in a position where they are likely to get raped by purposefully aroused pigs funny. Nor is having the “villain” (he wasn’t even really villainous, just very cynical, but that’s beside the point) almost drown from swallowing too much pig excrement. Torture and humiliation, even of truly evil people, isn’t something decent people should consider acceptable, in my opinion. The author seems to do so, since he uses these as regular plot devices to arrive at his happy ending.

[Tammy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting world, and fun story.

The story is part of the first book, METAtropolis: The Dawn of Uncivilization, of a series of anthologies (currently, 3) although it is named "Utere Nihil Non Extra Quiritationem Suis" in it. I'm not generally a fan of anthologies, but I'll put it on the maybe list. It would be cool if there were full novels in the world / with the characters in the future. I'm slightly annoyed that I hadn't realized this story was part of the anthology when I bought it since it's $5 for the story and $8 for the set.

Same as: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1...

New Saint Louis is a zero-footprint closed society where everyone needs to take a test and be placed in a job by age 20. Benji Washington blew off school, and gets assigned as a pig farmer.

[Meghan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A short story from METAtropolis: The Dawn of Uncivilization, a compilation of short stories looking at a world that is dying and civilization is fighting it out in the kind of city we choose to live in. Took me 5 tries to get started but once settled, another hit by Scalzi. Just love his easy going and entertaining style. Had a Margaret Atwood vibe that I really enjoyed. The world building is great mixed with interesting questions on social and ethical dilemmas that we are starting to face today, particularly during this pandemic.

[Cale · Rating 4 out of 5]

This novella manages to make pig farming interesting. And futuristic. A spoiled child ends up with minimal options in required employment, but manages to make the best of it. In humorous ways. It's got the Scalzi humor, but the exploration of the impact of self-sustaining cities on the world around them seems a bit prescient. It's a pretty quick read (less than 45 minutes), and managed to make pigs interesting, even if it does have some questionable porcine behavior. Note - this is the same story that is in the Metatropolis collection, just renamed.

[Terry Michael Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

Smell of the Squeal

Cute and amusing,short and quick, but With undeveloped charcters, an interesting but undeveloped world, and a predictable p!ot. I especially wanted Squeal to fully emerge, squeal .and all, and start talking! This is what was called a novella back in the days of Amazing Stories, Galaxy, and Astounding Science Fiction. And yet--the man entertained me. Full of ideas awaiting further awakening! He's a damn good writer, and his new novel Started Villain is one of the best laugh out loud book I've read in years.

[Brian Palmer · Rating 4 out of 5]

Amusing short story set in a world beset by ecological disaster. Citizens of one of the zero footprint ecologies are able to make do, but the "wilds" -- the rest of the country, locked out of the ecologies except for strictly controlled immigration -- aren't so lucky. Teenagers must take an aptitude test that filters them to jobs they're suited for; this is the story of one privileged teenager who doesn't take it seriously and so ends up in a job he never expected.

[Vineela Yerukonda · Rating 5 out of 5]

That was a very neat short story. Metaphorically.

The Utopian universe the story's set in is very exciting and interesting. Hermetically sealed self-sustaining cities. May not be a totally novel idea, but the concepts and intricate details explored in the story make it innovative. I would love to read a novel with this setting. The story itself was fast-paced, ingenious and entertaining. Where does John Scalzi get his story ideas from?? Fascinating stuff!

[Durval Menezes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great short story from John Scalzi. This one has a "coming of age" main plot, with social justice, genetic engineering, the future of cities and forlorn love as subthemes, all masterfully woven together.

Great fun for a few hours -- my only complaint is that it's not novel-sized; it would have been a great book. Perhaps the author would consider writing more on this 'universe' on the future?

Rating would be 4.5/5, rounded up to 5/5.

[rick. · Rating 4 out of 5]

The refreshing thing about this particular hero's journey is that it takes us from entitled slacker to honest respectful man. Everything about this story is grounded in reality, which provide a foundation for the more fanciful entries in METAtropolis's shared world anthology.

[Dave Withe · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Porcine "Checkov's Gun", wow; well played John.

A good morality play / romance wrapped up in a fun Eco-Future SpecFic novella.

A good read. Good style, as expected, a fun, fast moving story that never bogs down. Well executed story telling with a snappy ending that "closes the loop" well.

I only gave 4 stars because IMHO it should have been a full novel.

Highly recommend.

[Noah King · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't realize, upon purchasing this John Scalzi book, that it was actually only a 47 page short story. So it was much shorter than I was hoping, but a fun story nonetheless. Apparently, it first appeared in an anthology by several authors who created this fictional near-future world together, and wrote their own short stories set within it. So I may give that anthology a try.

[Vickie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quick listen about a guy who is a bit enabled and spoiled but learns the errors of his ways by working in a pig farm in a future where everyone has to have a job or get kicked out into The Wilds. For all that this sounds like a wacked out premise...and it is...it's a very good story.
I can definitely recommend this novella and this author

[Jonnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not as humorous as his other books that I've read. Nor was it as interesting. I know it is a short story, but Scalzi has done some entertaining stories in under 3 hours. Maybe this one was too short. The story did pick up in the last 30 minutes. I was trying to find a free short story to hold me over until some new books dropped on 4/23/24. This book accomplished that.

[Cory Hawksbury · Rating 4 out of 5]

The title means "nothing useful is useless" meaning the idiot slacker of a main character gets the shitty job he deserves and the fact that the people at his work seem to think he is the arguably useless component at the pig warehouse, not any of the parts of the pig. I loved it. Probably my favorite of the Metatropolis stories.

[Linus · Rating 3 out of 5]

This short story taken from the "Metatropolis" anthology, a shared-world set of future tales by a group of writers, is long enough to tell a tale and too short to dive too deeply into. It's a good piece, a quick read, and solid all around, with a particularly nifty opening.

[Eric Wallace · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oddly, this short story reads more like something by Cory Doctorow (linear story, rather didactic, and slightly preachy approach to cultural issues) rather than John Scalzi (non-stop wit and standout characterization). But hey, I like them both, and it was an interesting short read.

[Ben Stoutenburgh · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story was kinda funny and had hints of Scalzi's style but I didn't feel like it got his full attention. I am interested in the world that it takes place in and wonder if I would have liked it more if I read it as part of METAtropolis: The Dawn of Uncivilization as intended.

[Cade · Rating 2 out of 5]

The writing style is pleasant to read, and I was enjoying myself through the exposition. Unfortunately, in the end, the climax didn't really amount to much. I was left with a distinct "so what?" feeling.

[Donna Brett · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointed

I was told by a friend that Scalzi was good. He is
, But this is a short story masquerading as a book and as such is ridiculously overpriced. I hope his other "books" are more lengthy.