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An Unwelcome Guest at the Netherfield Ball
“I found,” said he, “as the time drew near that I had better not meet with Mr Darcy; that to be in the same room, the same party with him for so many hours together, might be more than I could bear, and that scenes might arise unpleasant to more than myself.”
(Mr Wickham: Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 21)
In chapter 21 of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice Mr Wickham makes a charming apology to Elizabeth Bennet over his prior absence from the Netherfield Ball. The reader later discovers the truth of this situation; that Mr Wickham was keen to avoid Mr Darcy that night – for it was entirely possible that he could have faced (entirely justifiable) retribution from Mr Darcy if he had attended. The reader – and Elizabeth – are unaware at that point in the novel of Mr Wickham’s true, deceitful nature – and, of course, no one in wider society is aware of Mr Wickham’s scandalous behaviour concerning Mr Darcy’s younger sister.
However, in this alternative narrative, the reader is shown how events could have varied in Pride and Prejudice if Mr Wickham had thrown caution to the wind and had instead attended the ball on that fateful evening. In this re-telling of the famous story, events start on the evening of the much anticipated Netherfield ball, and Elizabeth quietly frets to herself over the potential for her family to create a public scene. She knows very well that Mr Bingley’s conceited sisters hold her family in contempt, just as she is very aware of Mr Darcy’s obvious disapproval. She dreads the prospect of enduring her promised dances with Mr Collins, and is appalled at her mothers’ blatant matchmaking efforts.
However, with the one pivotal change – of Mr Wickham being unexpectedly present at the ball – Elizabeth’s night, and her prospects for an enjoyable evening, change completely. And as a consequence of his attendance at the ball, the events of the novel begin to differ from there onwards as well. The neighbourhood of Meryton is entirely scandalised when Elizabeth takes a dance with the gallant Mr Wickham – and Mr Darcy is beside himself with rage to see the woman he secretly admires dancing so merrily with his arch enemy.
‘Elizabeth looked up at Mr Wickham’s face as he spoke, and realised, as she followed the direction of his pointed gaze, that he had locked eyes with Mr Darcy across the space of the crowded ballroom. She had not noticed before that Mr Darcy was observing them; though it was clear that Mr Wickham had known exactly where Mr Darcy was within the room – as well as having been entirely aware that Mr Darcy had been watching the two of them. The air seemed to spark between the two men, and Elizabeth could not fail to notice the palpable tension which flowed in waves between them. She saw the scornful sneer that Mr Wickham shot towards his enemy – and Mr Darcy bristling in return.’
In fact, Mr Darcy is so unsettled by the sight of Elizabeth dancing with his enemy, and so jealous, that he acts immediately to separate them. Unfortunately for Elizabeth, this is only the first of a series of humiliating experiences that she is to face that evening – and the consequences of Mr Darcy’s actions are to cause a scandal which will unavoidably change her future.
(Mr Wickham: Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 21)
In chapter 21 of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice Mr Wickham makes a charming apology to Elizabeth Bennet over his prior absence from the Netherfield Ball. The reader later discovers the truth of this situation; that Mr Wickham was keen to avoid Mr Darcy that night – for it was entirely possible that he could have faced (entirely justifiable) retribution from Mr Darcy if he had attended. The reader – and Elizabeth – are unaware at that point in the novel of Mr Wickham’s true, deceitful nature – and, of course, no one in wider society is aware of Mr Wickham’s scandalous behaviour concerning Mr Darcy’s younger sister.
However, in this alternative narrative, the reader is shown how events could have varied in Pride and Prejudice if Mr Wickham had thrown caution to the wind and had instead attended the ball on that fateful evening. In this re-telling of the famous story, events start on the evening of the much anticipated Netherfield ball, and Elizabeth quietly frets to herself over the potential for her family to create a public scene. She knows very well that Mr Bingley’s conceited sisters hold her family in contempt, just as she is very aware of Mr Darcy’s obvious disapproval. She dreads the prospect of enduring her promised dances with Mr Collins, and is appalled at her mothers’ blatant matchmaking efforts.
However, with the one pivotal change – of Mr Wickham being unexpectedly present at the ball – Elizabeth’s night, and her prospects for an enjoyable evening, change completely. And as a consequence of his attendance at the ball, the events of the novel begin to differ from there onwards as well. The neighbourhood of Meryton is entirely scandalised when Elizabeth takes a dance with the gallant Mr Wickham – and Mr Darcy is beside himself with rage to see the woman he secretly admires dancing so merrily with his arch enemy.
‘Elizabeth looked up at Mr Wickham’s face as he spoke, and realised, as she followed the direction of his pointed gaze, that he had locked eyes with Mr Darcy across the space of the crowded ballroom. She had not noticed before that Mr Darcy was observing them; though it was clear that Mr Wickham had known exactly where Mr Darcy was within the room – as well as having been entirely aware that Mr Darcy had been watching the two of them. The air seemed to spark between the two men, and Elizabeth could not fail to notice the palpable tension which flowed in waves between them. She saw the scornful sneer that Mr Wickham shot towards his enemy – and Mr Darcy bristling in return.’
In fact, Mr Darcy is so unsettled by the sight of Elizabeth dancing with his enemy, and so jealous, that he acts immediately to separate them. Unfortunately for Elizabeth, this is only the first of a series of humiliating experiences that she is to face that evening – and the consequences of Mr Darcy’s actions are to cause a scandal which will unavoidably change her future.
324 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 5, 2016
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August 29, 2018
In this variation Wickham does not find business in London to keep him from attending the Netherfield Ball and as Bingley's invitation was a general one not directed towards any officer in particular, Wickham was not excluded from those who may and will attend.
What happens upon the chords being played to introduce the first set of dances sets the tone for what carries this tale forward. Wickham approaches Miss Elizabeth and even as they notice Collins nearing to claim her hand for that first set Wickham leads the lady onto the dance floor. Collins stands at the sidelines glaring/seething at this display of rude manners. However he is not the only one who is disturbed when Wickham's hand holds her just a little longer than proper or when his hand brushes against her waist "accidently" during turns, etc. Collins loses his chance to claim the second set as Darcy grabs Elizabeth's hand and takes her into that dance. They have words but she is not at all ready to take heed to his warnings about Wickham's character. Finally, Collins turn is the third set and he takes no time in warning her about how her behavior is not acceptable and how he will make sure she learns through discipline during their marriage how to better act and when he stomps upon her foot she has to leave the floor as pain will not allow her to continue.
Elizabeth makes her way to the library which she believes is deserted and begins to take off her stocking in order to better rub her foot. Further dancing will be impossible - she can barely limp. What she is unaware of is that Darcy has also retreated to the library and then to the shadows when she entered. He is attempting to control his anger...at Wickham and at the fact that she takes Wickham's word over his. He steps forward to aid her and in doing so kneels to attend to her foot and takes in his hand the stocking she has taken off. They hear someone begin to enter so he again steps into the shadows.
Collins enters and approaches Elizabeth with further reprimands. After all she has now abandoned him on the dance floor. When he begins to talk about "their marriage" and how he will bring her under his control, she is just as adamant that this will never happen as she will not have him. He then states that her mother has given her consent and the fact that they are alone in the library will ensure that the marriage will go forward and he approaches her intent on kissing her to further add to that compromise. Darcy makes his presence known and Collins cannot help but notice the stocking in Darcy's hand. Collins leaves in deference to Lady Catherine's nephew.
Elizabeth and Darcy talk and she assures him that she has no interest in his offer to marry her if Collins makes known "the compromise" Collins is sure to be imagining. However what follows is that Mary is called to attend her sister, Mr. Bennet is informed of Elizabeth's injury, and Darcy carries her to the Bennet carriage while the rest of the Bennet family is gathered by Mr. Bennet. Whew, it seems Collins has kept his mouth shut. He (as in canon) visits the Lucas Lodge and engages Charlotte's hand the next day .
It is when he returns to Kent that he makes known what happened the night of the Netherfield Ball. Collins informs Lady Catherine about Darcy's behavior thinking that her reaction will punish Darcy for his preventing Collins from gaining the wife he "was intended to have". But in rushing off to Longbourn and confronting Miss Elizabeth and doing so in front of her family and neighbors Lady Catherine does not gain Darcy's immediate attention to "his duty" but Darcy's offering for Miss Elizabeth. Mr. Bennet, although reluctant to give her hand to a man she despises, points out how her sisters, indeed the whole family, will be censored by the gossip that will now spread. So it is that Darcy and Elizabeth are betrothed.
On top of the engagement is the fact that Darcy MUST be attend to "business" near the Lake District before Christmas and so the ceremony happens with a 2 week period. The business is most secret and involves Georgiana. Only Darcy, a few trusted servants, the colonel and now Elizabeth learn of the reason as he informs her that they will be hidden away there for some months and will have no socializing while there.
Their stay in a small cottage is a crowded affair. Darcy does not demand his husbandly rights immediately and this strains their relationship further.
The relationships between the threesome are tense. Elizabeth is the pivotal person in maintaining any peace, any comfort, as time passes. She struggles with Darcy's habit of ordering the lives of all under his control. He wants to protect - she sees it as restricting her. The tension in this story has to do with this and we wait for both to get over the fact that the marriage was a forced marriage situation for which each takes blame. Neither is open as their opinions and feelings about the other changes. Georgiana's situation also takes attention from the marriage. Then the colonel comes to visit.
This story didn't grab my focus as much in the beginning chapters but as the couple is sequestered near the Lakes things become tense and I was turning pages hoping for someone to finally have an open conversation. There is more to this story which I could not reveal but it was a very enjoyable read.
What happens upon the chords being played to introduce the first set of dances sets the tone for what carries this tale forward. Wickham approaches Miss Elizabeth and even as they notice Collins nearing to claim her hand for that first set Wickham leads the lady onto the dance floor. Collins stands at the sidelines glaring/seething at this display of rude manners. However he is not the only one who is disturbed when Wickham's hand holds her just a little longer than proper or when his hand brushes against her waist "accidently" during turns, etc. Collins loses his chance to claim the second set as Darcy grabs Elizabeth's hand and takes her into that dance. They have words but she is not at all ready to take heed to his warnings about Wickham's character. Finally, Collins turn is the third set and he takes no time in warning her about how her behavior is not acceptable and how he will make sure she learns through discipline during their marriage how to better act and when he stomps upon her foot she has to leave the floor as pain will not allow her to continue.
Elizabeth makes her way to the library which she believes is deserted and begins to take off her stocking in order to better rub her foot. Further dancing will be impossible - she can barely limp. What she is unaware of is that Darcy has also retreated to the library and then to the shadows when she entered. He is attempting to control his anger...at Wickham and at the fact that she takes Wickham's word over his. He steps forward to aid her and in doing so kneels to attend to her foot and takes in his hand the stocking she has taken off. They hear someone begin to enter so he again steps into the shadows.
Collins enters and approaches Elizabeth with further reprimands. After all she has now abandoned him on the dance floor. When he begins to talk about "their marriage" and how he will bring her under his control, she is just as adamant that this will never happen as she will not have him. He then states that her mother has given her consent and the fact that they are alone in the library will ensure that the marriage will go forward and he approaches her intent on kissing her to further add to that compromise. Darcy makes his presence known and Collins cannot help but notice the stocking in Darcy's hand. Collins leaves in deference to Lady Catherine's nephew.
Elizabeth and Darcy talk and she assures him that she has no interest in his offer to marry her if Collins makes known "the compromise" Collins is sure to be imagining. However what follows is that Mary is called to attend her sister, Mr. Bennet is informed of Elizabeth's injury, and Darcy carries her to the Bennet carriage while the rest of the Bennet family is gathered by Mr. Bennet. Whew, it seems Collins has kept his mouth shut. He (as in canon) visits the Lucas Lodge and engages Charlotte's hand the next day .
It is when he returns to Kent that he makes known what happened the night of the Netherfield Ball. Collins informs Lady Catherine about Darcy's behavior thinking that her reaction will punish Darcy for his preventing Collins from gaining the wife he "was intended to have". But in rushing off to Longbourn and confronting Miss Elizabeth and doing so in front of her family and neighbors Lady Catherine does not gain Darcy's immediate attention to "his duty" but Darcy's offering for Miss Elizabeth. Mr. Bennet, although reluctant to give her hand to a man she despises, points out how her sisters, indeed the whole family, will be censored by the gossip that will now spread. So it is that Darcy and Elizabeth are betrothed.
On top of the engagement is the fact that Darcy MUST be attend to "business" near the Lake District before Christmas and so the ceremony happens with a 2 week period. The business is most secret and involves Georgiana. Only Darcy, a few trusted servants, the colonel and now Elizabeth learn of the reason as he informs her that they will be hidden away there for some months and will have no socializing while there.
Their stay in a small cottage is a crowded affair. Darcy does not demand his husbandly rights immediately and this strains their relationship further.
The relationships between the threesome are tense. Elizabeth is the pivotal person in maintaining any peace, any comfort, as time passes. She struggles with Darcy's habit of ordering the lives of all under his control. He wants to protect - she sees it as restricting her. The tension in this story has to do with this and we wait for both to get over the fact that the marriage was a forced marriage situation for which each takes blame. Neither is open as their opinions and feelings about the other changes. Georgiana's situation also takes attention from the marriage. Then the colonel comes to visit.
This story didn't grab my focus as much in the beginning chapters but as the couple is sequestered near the Lakes things become tense and I was turning pages hoping for someone to finally have an open conversation. There is more to this story which I could not reveal but it was a very enjoyable read.
October 25, 2016
3.5 rounded up to 4 stars
There are lots of good things going on in this Pride and Prejudice variation. I was especially struck by the quotations directly from the source book that precede each chapter and pertain to the events about to follow (though usually in a distinctly different way than in the original). There are only rare grammatical and/or spelling errors, and the writing flows pretty well. I think aspects of the plot are excellent and deviate nicely from canon without going ridiculously far afield. Love that Lady Catherine is, yet again, the catalyst for Elizabeth and Darcy to marry, but in a completely unique manner... thanks to the ever-annoying Mr. Collins. The twist on Georgiana's plight also is noteworthy, as it's only rarely attempted as depicted here.
There are draggy spots, though, with a lot of over-explanation of characters' thoughts and feelings. My main complaint, though, is that Elizabeth and Darcy are very good at getting in their own way of happiness. External problems aren't nearly as disruptive as their lack of trust in each other. This is yet another angst-y story where they marry due to compromise, each falls in love with the other, but neither can broach that delicate subject without being exposed to the pain of those tender feelings not being returned. The distance between them in this respect goes on for too long, especially when other more interesting storylines here could be developed further.
There are lots of good things going on in this Pride and Prejudice variation. I was especially struck by the quotations directly from the source book that precede each chapter and pertain to the events about to follow (though usually in a distinctly different way than in the original). There are only rare grammatical and/or spelling errors, and the writing flows pretty well. I think aspects of the plot are excellent and deviate nicely from canon without going ridiculously far afield. Love that Lady Catherine is, yet again, the catalyst for Elizabeth and Darcy to marry, but in a completely unique manner... thanks to the ever-annoying Mr. Collins. The twist on Georgiana's plight also is noteworthy, as it's only rarely attempted as depicted here.
There are draggy spots, though, with a lot of over-explanation of characters' thoughts and feelings. My main complaint, though, is that Elizabeth and Darcy are very good at getting in their own way of happiness. External problems aren't nearly as disruptive as their lack of trust in each other. This is yet another angst-y story where they marry due to compromise, each falls in love with the other, but neither can broach that delicate subject without being exposed to the pain of those tender feelings not being returned. The distance between them in this respect goes on for too long, especially when other more interesting storylines here could be developed further.
October 8, 2016
This is a dark, tension filled and angsty P&P alternate timeline. Starting at the Netherfield Ball where Lizzy disregards her cousin's reserved dance to instead dance with Wickham and then Darcy her cousin is livid. Thus during his dance of recompense he tromps; intentionally, upon Lizzy's foot and ankle requiring her to sit out. She limps to library hoping for some peace and quiet to recover her composure. It is not to be as first Mr. Darcy and later Mr. Collins intrude upon her.
When her cousin's proposal and refusal crosses over from polite to offense Darcy leaps to Miss Bennet's rescue however she's goes from the frying pan to the fire when Darcy is assumed to have beaten Collins to the compromise. And knowing that there is nothing more stupid than an stupid man scorned soon Lady Catherine is at Longbourn calling Elizabeth impure. Now Lizzy and Darcy are on the road to a quick wedding. Darcy is obligated to return to the North for several months, as Darcy's little sister was quite compromised by Mr. Wickham and is in dire straits. And soon Lizzy and Darcy are trapped in a marriage in name only and both are so terrified of giving offense that they dance around one another as virtual strangers. The misunderstandings, miscommunications and distrust make for a thick atmosphere. It is painful for all.
Now you may be saying I've seen this plot before and I am sure you have but the author does a wonderful job of conveying the awkward relationship, the unhappiness and the fear. Each chapter begins with an excerpt from P&P that factors into the plot. It is quite clever.
When her cousin's proposal and refusal crosses over from polite to offense Darcy leaps to Miss Bennet's rescue however she's goes from the frying pan to the fire when Darcy is assumed to have beaten Collins to the compromise. And knowing that there is nothing more stupid than an stupid man scorned soon Lady Catherine is at Longbourn calling Elizabeth impure. Now Lizzy and Darcy are on the road to a quick wedding. Darcy is obligated to return to the North for several months, as Darcy's little sister was quite compromised by Mr. Wickham and is in dire straits. And soon Lizzy and Darcy are trapped in a marriage in name only and both are so terrified of giving offense that they dance around one another as virtual strangers. The misunderstandings, miscommunications and distrust make for a thick atmosphere. It is painful for all.
Now you may be saying I've seen this plot before and I am sure you have but the author does a wonderful job of conveying the awkward relationship, the unhappiness and the fear. Each chapter begins with an excerpt from P&P that factors into the plot. It is quite clever.
March 12, 2017
It's better to copulate—than never. ~Author unknown
A good story here -- one that has been done before, perhaps, but I would still recommend it for JAFF readers.
Darcy and Elizabeth are compromised in front of an outraged Collins who is quick to tattle to his beloved patroness. Lady C raises a fuss to end all fusses in Hertfordshire and D&E marry quickly to quiet the scandal.
Their marriage is off to a shaky start and further complicated by Georgiana's situation.
HEA for ODC, of course!
After this was posted on Amazon, CGW added the following comment:
The quote that leads this review is from Robert A. Heinlein. His character, Lazarus Long, uses it in "Time Enough for Love" which is an absolutely splendid book.
A good story here -- one that has been done before, perhaps, but I would still recommend it for JAFF readers.
Darcy and Elizabeth are compromised in front of an outraged Collins who is quick to tattle to his beloved patroness. Lady C raises a fuss to end all fusses in Hertfordshire and D&E marry quickly to quiet the scandal.
Their marriage is off to a shaky start and further complicated by Georgiana's situation.
HEA for ODC, of course!
After this was posted on Amazon, CGW added the following comment:
The quote that leads this review is from Robert A. Heinlein. His character, Lazarus Long, uses it in "Time Enough for Love" which is an absolutely splendid book.
October 13, 2016
An Unwelcome Guest at the Netherfield Ball.
Goog story, different variation on the usual theme, Lizzie is a bit testy about circumstances she's thrust into but eventually, accepts them ans she's Mr. Darcy for the decent person he really is, but this version shows a lot of facets to Mr. Darcy, and it reveals his thoughts and hopes, which was interesting. Our couple completely misunderstands each other for quite awhile but the author pulls it altogether, in the end.
Goog story, different variation on the usual theme, Lizzie is a bit testy about circumstances she's thrust into but eventually, accepts them ans she's Mr. Darcy for the decent person he really is, but this version shows a lot of facets to Mr. Darcy, and it reveals his thoughts and hopes, which was interesting. Our couple completely misunderstands each other for quite awhile but the author pulls it altogether, in the end.
August 26, 2018
This is a totally different type of variation - although I've seen elements of this plot done before, the 'feel' of it was quite different and made for quite a sad and sometimes dark read.
Wickham is the unwelcome guest at the Netherfield Ball and his attendance results in Darcy trying to warn Elizabeth about him. However, the way he does it is so aggressive that Elizabeth takes further dislike to him and disregards what he says. Later in the evening she is deliberately injured by Mr Collins who is trying to force his suit. She escapes to the library, not realising Darcy is already in there. He hides when Collins enters to avoid a compromising situation but makes himself known when Collins is abusive towards Elizabeth. What follows is essentially a forced marriage scenario between Darcy and Elizabeth but he is already in love with her.
The majority of the book focuses on him trying to make Elizabeth see he is not the man she thinks - but he makes an absolute mess of it at every opportunity. Neither will speak about their feelings which results in them being stuck in suspended animation for most of this book. Usually, this would frustrate the hell out of me as they are supposed to be sensible people, but the reader gets to see both of their perspectives so gets to appreciate why it is so difficult for these two to sort it out.
There is a twist on the situation with Georgiana which adds to their troubles. There is some brilliant writing in here... when Darcy does eventually explain about Wickham I felt like I was there and he was speaking to me!
So why only 4 stars? Well, there is a lot of the book given over to some very difficult times and I'd have liked to have seen more of what happened when they do understand each other. One other reason. The Epilogue. Pet hate of mine, but especially when I feel I have missed out on what I've waited a book to read about to then get a summary in the Epilogue. This book covers quite a short period of time, probably two or three months, and most of that time the reader is with Darcy, Elizabeth and Georgiana so I felt quite attached to them all by the end. Overall, a really good read!
Wickham is the unwelcome guest at the Netherfield Ball and his attendance results in Darcy trying to warn Elizabeth about him. However, the way he does it is so aggressive that Elizabeth takes further dislike to him and disregards what he says. Later in the evening she is deliberately injured by Mr Collins who is trying to force his suit. She escapes to the library, not realising Darcy is already in there. He hides when Collins enters to avoid a compromising situation but makes himself known when Collins is abusive towards Elizabeth. What follows is essentially a forced marriage scenario between Darcy and Elizabeth but he is already in love with her.
The majority of the book focuses on him trying to make Elizabeth see he is not the man she thinks - but he makes an absolute mess of it at every opportunity. Neither will speak about their feelings which results in them being stuck in suspended animation for most of this book. Usually, this would frustrate the hell out of me as they are supposed to be sensible people, but the reader gets to see both of their perspectives so gets to appreciate why it is so difficult for these two to sort it out.
There is a twist on the situation with Georgiana which adds to their troubles. There is some brilliant writing in here... when Darcy does eventually explain about Wickham I felt like I was there and he was speaking to me!
So why only 4 stars? Well, there is a lot of the book given over to some very difficult times and I'd have liked to have seen more of what happened when they do understand each other. One other reason. The Epilogue. Pet hate of mine, but especially when I feel I have missed out on what I've waited a book to read about to then get a summary in the Epilogue. This book covers quite a short period of time, probably two or three months, and most of that time the reader is with Darcy, Elizabeth and Georgiana so I felt quite attached to them all by the end. Overall, a really good read!
October 14, 2016
With an editor and a less rushed ending..
This could have been really fabulous. I greatly encourage the writer to have a good editor go over it and rerelease this!! Some of the scenes had redundant and superfluous descriptions of feelings, and this really made some parts tedious to get through, but I could appreciate the story, VERY MUCH, and would have enjoyed a tighter, more expanded version!
This could have been really fabulous. I greatly encourage the writer to have a good editor go over it and rerelease this!! Some of the scenes had redundant and superfluous descriptions of feelings, and this really made some parts tedious to get through, but I could appreciate the story, VERY MUCH, and would have enjoyed a tighter, more expanded version!
October 23, 2016
Elizabeth and Darcy are caught in a compromising situation while trying to prevent another. After being forced to marry, our couple must learn to express their feelings and realize they love each other.
Plot wise, it was an interesting story. However, at multiple times, I was ready to shake the main characters.
Plot wise, it was an interesting story. However, at multiple times, I was ready to shake the main characters.
November 16, 2016
This is one of those frustrating books that had some potential but could have been so much better. I'm a fan of compromise and forced marriage stories, as a general rule, but there were too many irritating elements to this story to rate it higher. I think if some of the minor things I describe below had been remedied by a good editor, then I could have easily added a star. Other things were larger problems, but also could have been helped with a good editor or beta reader. The combined effect of large and small flaws was not a terrible book, but a disappointing one.
1) There was a lot of repetition in the beginning of things that the average reader isn't going to need to read, like very specific descriptions and identifications of all of the Bennets and their personalities.
2) Related to #1 is that there was an excessive amount of introspection--paragraph upon paragraph of reiteration of the feelings and thoughts of any POV character, including rehashes of things that readers would already know or that had already been communicated in the story itself. It persisted throughout the whole story, and I found myself scanning and skimming for the next piece of action or dialogue.
3) There was a lot of unnecessary and excessive use of italics throughout. It becomes numbing as a means of emphasizing certain words or phrases if every paragraph has six words that are given special emphasis.
4) At around 8%, the phrase "mute point" was used. That is a particular pet peeve that always makes me cringe. (It's "moot point," by the way.)
5) And last, but not least, the plot structure was just kind of a mess. The title implies that Wickham is going to be a big antagonist, but his physical appearances are minimal and he doesn't really do anything other than dance with Elizabeth. Collins is far more of an antagonist in the early parts of the book, but then he drops off the face of the story once the forced marriage takes place. The last 2/3 of the book centers around only misunderstandings between Elizabeth and Darcy that were, frankly, sometimes difficult to believe. Neither one of them are stupid in canon, but they were often portrayed as oblivious fools in not-entertaining ways. Because of that, I was not nearly as engaged in their delayed courtship as I felt like I should have been at that point.
1) There was a lot of repetition in the beginning of things that the average reader isn't going to need to read, like very specific descriptions and identifications of all of the Bennets and their personalities.
2) Related to #1 is that there was an excessive amount of introspection--paragraph upon paragraph of reiteration of the feelings and thoughts of any POV character, including rehashes of things that readers would already know or that had already been communicated in the story itself. It persisted throughout the whole story, and I found myself scanning and skimming for the next piece of action or dialogue.
3) There was a lot of unnecessary and excessive use of italics throughout. It becomes numbing as a means of emphasizing certain words or phrases if every paragraph has six words that are given special emphasis.
4) At around 8%, the phrase "mute point" was used. That is a particular pet peeve that always makes me cringe. (It's "moot point," by the way.)
5) And last, but not least, the plot structure was just kind of a mess. The title implies that Wickham is going to be a big antagonist, but his physical appearances are minimal and he doesn't really do anything other than dance with Elizabeth. Collins is far more of an antagonist in the early parts of the book, but then he drops off the face of the story once the forced marriage takes place. The last 2/3 of the book centers around only misunderstandings between Elizabeth and Darcy that were, frankly, sometimes difficult to believe. Neither one of them are stupid in canon, but they were often portrayed as oblivious fools in not-entertaining ways. Because of that, I was not nearly as engaged in their delayed courtship as I felt like I should have been at that point.
November 5, 2016
Really, really, really, really repetitive
What could be a very good story suffers both from atrocious formatting, a plethora of parentheses and wildly inconsistent paragraph formatting, but most unforgivable, poor copyediting. The author tells the reader, then tells them again in the same paragraph and the next. And less the reader forget they have been told the times, she comes back and tells us the exact same thing in the exact same words several chapters later.
This and a rather dense portrayal of Elizabeth Bennet make this story which had so much potential very hard to love.
What could be a very good story suffers both from atrocious formatting, a plethora of parentheses and wildly inconsistent paragraph formatting, but most unforgivable, poor copyediting. The author tells the reader, then tells them again in the same paragraph and the next. And less the reader forget they have been told the times, she comes back and tells us the exact same thing in the exact same words several chapters later.
This and a rather dense portrayal of Elizabeth Bennet make this story which had so much potential very hard to love.
October 20, 2016
3.75 stars. starts very slow.... Put me to bed two nights in a row.... As it picks up speed, the story gets good and is hard to put down. Darcy and Elizabeth spend way too much time in self reflection. I found myself skipping many paragraphs of my characters in deep thought. Flaws and all, it's worth reading.
October 27, 2016
An Unwelcome Guest at the Netherfield Ball: A Pride and Prejudice Variation
If given a choice of which character in any Pride and Prejudice Variation that I hate the most, it would be a toss up between the harridan Gorgon Lady Catherine, wicked Wickham, conniving Caroline, or cruel, sycophantic Collins as he was in this story. A small cabin with the four of them hog tied with barrels of gunpowder ignited would end the tribulations caused by each of them quite dramatically without any loss except for the cabin. As usual, the four offensive characters setup the Bennets and Darcys for ruin at every turn. Forced attentions on unsuspecting, naive young ladies, untrue rumors spewed by refused vindictive jealous suitors, and vitriolic and false accusations leave ODC forced to marry. If this situation is not bad enough, ODC must deal with other ramifications of mistreatment and mistrust on other family members. But this author gave the horrible characters their just desserts, and ODC a HEA once the misunderstandings between them were unraveled and exposed.
If given a choice of which character in any Pride and Prejudice Variation that I hate the most, it would be a toss up between the harridan Gorgon Lady Catherine, wicked Wickham, conniving Caroline, or cruel, sycophantic Collins as he was in this story. A small cabin with the four of them hog tied with barrels of gunpowder ignited would end the tribulations caused by each of them quite dramatically without any loss except for the cabin. As usual, the four offensive characters setup the Bennets and Darcys for ruin at every turn. Forced attentions on unsuspecting, naive young ladies, untrue rumors spewed by refused vindictive jealous suitors, and vitriolic and false accusations leave ODC forced to marry. If this situation is not bad enough, ODC must deal with other ramifications of mistreatment and mistrust on other family members. But this author gave the horrible characters their just desserts, and ODC a HEA once the misunderstandings between them were unraveled and exposed.
August 15, 2020
Absolutely loved this story. The first chapter or so was quite slow so I wondered whether it would be a slog, but then the plot kicks in and it becomes quite fast paced. Before I knew it, we were unexpectedly in the middle of one of my favourite tropes of Darcy, in particular, was wonderful with his painful sense of honour. Would definitely read again.
The only negative I have is that there is an overabundance of italics. Every paragraph had at least 4 words in italics and it was rather irritating!
The only negative I have is that there is an overabundance of italics. Every paragraph had at least 4 words in italics and it was rather irritating!
September 14, 2020
Incessant Narrative
Oh dear. The premise of this story was very good. I really did like it. However, almost the entire book is written in a slumberous narrative, with mere pieces of dialogue interspersed within. The never-ending personal reflections of both Elizabeth and Darcy just went on and on and on.... If you like that writing style, enjoy. I n that manner, it’s well done. I prefer dialogue.
Oh dear. The premise of this story was very good. I really did like it. However, almost the entire book is written in a slumberous narrative, with mere pieces of dialogue interspersed within. The never-ending personal reflections of both Elizabeth and Darcy just went on and on and on.... If you like that writing style, enjoy. I n that manner, it’s well done. I prefer dialogue.
March 8, 2019
Mixed feelings about this one. The plot is interesting. Think the author has a lot of potential but needs a good editor. Strangely, while most of the story is overly drawn out, the end is then far too rushed.
There is a lot of repetition and introspection, which drags out the story and makes it a bit boring. For example, in chapter 6 Lizzy is upstairs thinking about Darcy for a number of pages, then we go back half an hour and read about Darcy’s visit, then once agin Lizzy goes back upstairs and thinks about Darcy repeating the first part of the chapter even to the extent of using the same wording. The only difference is we get a couple of extra sentences on new information we found out in the “flash back” which completely contradict Lizzy’s original thoughts, even though they are supposed to be the *same* thoughts, and it makes her seem very stupid. This kind of thing happens frequently throughout the novel, right up to and including the last chapter.
There are a number of occasions when Lizzy’s (and often Darcy’s) behaviour doesn’t match her (or his) intelligence or the circumstances. I actually think this is lazy writing, because it always happens when the author needs confusion for the plot to work. Unfortunately it undermines the plot rather than aids it, because it doesn’t feel natural. At almost every point of conflict, Lizzy and Darcy could have simply had a conversation or thought the issue through properly and it would have been resolved. Obviously they are both stubborn and naturally there will be some reticence, so a certain amount of misunderstanding is appropriate for them, but there is just too much here. Lizzy is also much more fearful as a character than in the original, which is also a plot device to aid in the lack of communication. But she is only fearful in relation to *speaking* to Darcy, and in fact really brave otherwise. Even more frustratingly, when they do communicate someone always interrupts them - and I mean every time!! And they never learn anything. Usually they have some kind of brief moment of hope and then go back to thinking exactly as they did before they knew each other. Neither of them shows any real growth. Yet at the very end it all gets magically fixed far too quickly. Both the lack of communication and the fearful Lizzy are devices the author has used in at least one other book. It’s a shame because I think this author actually has more talent and potential than she allows to be shown by using these devices, which actually hamper her writing rather than helping it.
The plot is good, but parts of it aren’t followed up properly or given enough depth.
- When Lizzy reacts to Charlotte’s engagement, the author tries to copy her sentiments from the original novel but given that Mr Collins’ behaves much worse in this book, Lizzy should be more concerned with his violent tendencies than his silliness. I don’t understand why she didn’t warn Charlotte about him. - Also, while Collins was really important early on, central in fact to their marriage, we don’t hear anything else about him or the consequences of his lies to Lady C.
- Wickham also disappears from the book relatively quickly (he’s not actually that central in a physical sense) and we don’t hear anything about him not turning up for the duel and nothing seems to happen him after Col F says he’ll warn Forster. We do at least hear what happens to him.
- Strangely, we don’t get told what Darcy’s plans for the baby were. Nor do we hear very much about the fact that Georgiana was suicidal. She takes ages to recover from Wickham and more than once is sure he doesn’t love her, then relapses and is sure he does. Yet when she finally accepts his true nature and overdoses she is so upset, she recovers ridiculously quickly from being suicidal and her miscarriage; within days.
This author also commits my most hated JAFF sin -expressing confusion over why Darcy was called Fitzwilliam & calling him William instead. JA specifically used the name Fitzwilliam because it would have conjured up the real Fitzwilliam family for her readers, and shown how important and connected Darcy was. He was named to show he was the grandson of the Earl and he would be very proud of that connection, and certainly his parents wouldn’t have been ok with him being called the common William instead. He isn’t the kind of person to go against their wishes. Nor can I imagine he would wish it himself - remember in the novel he uses Elizabeth not Lizzy, while Bingley says Lizzy? Plus, the older members of his family don’t call him Fitzwilliam as this author asserts - Lady C calls him Darcy in the book. At that time upper class men were usually called by their surname or their title, even by their mothers, and in fact the surname was more likely to be especially identifying than the first name was. It may seem like a small issue, but I think it shows a lack of understand of both the historical time period and of Darcy’s character, undermining my enjoyment of the book.
There is a lot of repetition and introspection, which drags out the story and makes it a bit boring. For example, in chapter 6 Lizzy is upstairs thinking about Darcy for a number of pages, then we go back half an hour and read about Darcy’s visit, then once agin Lizzy goes back upstairs and thinks about Darcy repeating the first part of the chapter even to the extent of using the same wording. The only difference is we get a couple of extra sentences on new information we found out in the “flash back” which completely contradict Lizzy’s original thoughts, even though they are supposed to be the *same* thoughts, and it makes her seem very stupid. This kind of thing happens frequently throughout the novel, right up to and including the last chapter.
There are a number of occasions when Lizzy’s (and often Darcy’s) behaviour doesn’t match her (or his) intelligence or the circumstances. I actually think this is lazy writing, because it always happens when the author needs confusion for the plot to work. Unfortunately it undermines the plot rather than aids it, because it doesn’t feel natural. At almost every point of conflict, Lizzy and Darcy could have simply had a conversation or thought the issue through properly and it would have been resolved. Obviously they are both stubborn and naturally there will be some reticence, so a certain amount of misunderstanding is appropriate for them, but there is just too much here. Lizzy is also much more fearful as a character than in the original, which is also a plot device to aid in the lack of communication. But she is only fearful in relation to *speaking* to Darcy, and in fact really brave otherwise. Even more frustratingly, when they do communicate someone always interrupts them - and I mean every time!! And they never learn anything. Usually they have some kind of brief moment of hope and then go back to thinking exactly as they did before they knew each other. Neither of them shows any real growth. Yet at the very end it all gets magically fixed far too quickly. Both the lack of communication and the fearful Lizzy are devices the author has used in at least one other book. It’s a shame because I think this author actually has more talent and potential than she allows to be shown by using these devices, which actually hamper her writing rather than helping it.
The plot is good, but parts of it aren’t followed up properly or given enough depth.
- When Lizzy reacts to Charlotte’s engagement, the author tries to copy her sentiments from the original novel but given that Mr Collins’ behaves much worse in this book, Lizzy should be more concerned with his violent tendencies than his silliness. I don’t understand why she didn’t warn Charlotte about him. - Also, while Collins was really important early on, central in fact to their marriage, we don’t hear anything else about him or the consequences of his lies to Lady C.
- Wickham also disappears from the book relatively quickly (he’s not actually that central in a physical sense) and we don’t hear anything about him not turning up for the duel and nothing seems to happen him after Col F says he’ll warn Forster. We do at least hear what happens to him.
- Strangely, we don’t get told what Darcy’s plans for the baby were. Nor do we hear very much about the fact that Georgiana was suicidal. She takes ages to recover from Wickham and more than once is sure he doesn’t love her, then relapses and is sure he does. Yet when she finally accepts his true nature and overdoses she is so upset, she recovers ridiculously quickly from being suicidal and her miscarriage; within days.
This author also commits my most hated JAFF sin -expressing confusion over why Darcy was called Fitzwilliam & calling him William instead. JA specifically used the name Fitzwilliam because it would have conjured up the real Fitzwilliam family for her readers, and shown how important and connected Darcy was. He was named to show he was the grandson of the Earl and he would be very proud of that connection, and certainly his parents wouldn’t have been ok with him being called the common William instead. He isn’t the kind of person to go against their wishes. Nor can I imagine he would wish it himself - remember in the novel he uses Elizabeth not Lizzy, while Bingley says Lizzy? Plus, the older members of his family don’t call him Fitzwilliam as this author asserts - Lady C calls him Darcy in the book. At that time upper class men were usually called by their surname or their title, even by their mothers, and in fact the surname was more likely to be especially identifying than the first name was. It may seem like a small issue, but I think it shows a lack of understand of both the historical time period and of Darcy’s character, undermining my enjoyment of the book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 10, 2025
I had DNF'ed this book on page 100 or thereabouts earlier, I am not sure why anymore. But I think it might have to do with the fact that in the first chapters Elizabeth (you know, she that wanted to be treated as a rational creature in the canon) makes a huge fool out of herself concerning Wickham.
Now I got back into it again and once you get past the Netherfield ball it is an engaging story, although several scenes and events are portrayed through Darcy and/or Elizabeth's internal ruminations after the fact, more than seen in the action.
There is a scandal and a forced marriage (and I love it that Lady C and Collins achieve the very opposite of what they set out to do). Georgiana's story is much darker than canon, in several ways, both what happened in Ramsgate and what happens after.
The conflict between ODC is largely one of non-communication. He's in love already at the wedding and she falls in love because he is kind and considerate. They grow closer during riding lessons and things of that nature. But neither of them speaks of their feelings, neither of them asks the other how they feel about marital intimacy or lack thereof, and even when there's a promising opening and the reader thinks some progress might be about to be had, the reader is likely to be wrong. They establish a pattern in which she flinches when he touches her, he feels rejected, his feelings of rejection are expressed in angry undertones that she interprets as rejection of her. They frequently walk away or look away, fail to see smiles and expressions that might be encouraging, and struggle not to feel things (the number of times they "could not help" but feel something...)
Steam level is closed door. We know when the marriage is consummated but no further details.
The prose flows okay, a few minor editorial misses.
There are Austen quotes in the beginnings of chapters that seemed a little superfluous sometimes, breaking up the flow of the story. In one scene they go shopping somewhere on the way from the North to Hertfordshire, and apparently there's a shop with a variety of ready made dresses in her size available on the rack.
TL;DR: if this was a couple I knew in real life I would recommend some marital counseling.
Now I got back into it again and once you get past the Netherfield ball it is an engaging story, although several scenes and events are portrayed through Darcy and/or Elizabeth's internal ruminations after the fact, more than seen in the action.
There is a scandal and a forced marriage (and I love it that Lady C and Collins achieve the very opposite of what they set out to do). Georgiana's story is much darker than canon, in several ways, both what happened in Ramsgate and what happens after.
The conflict between ODC is largely one of non-communication. He's in love already at the wedding and she falls in love because he is kind and considerate. They grow closer during riding lessons and things of that nature. But neither of them speaks of their feelings, neither of them asks the other how they feel about marital intimacy or lack thereof, and even when there's a promising opening and the reader thinks some progress might be about to be had, the reader is likely to be wrong. They establish a pattern in which she flinches when he touches her, he feels rejected, his feelings of rejection are expressed in angry undertones that she interprets as rejection of her. They frequently walk away or look away, fail to see smiles and expressions that might be encouraging, and struggle not to feel things (the number of times they "could not help" but feel something...)
Steam level is closed door. We know when the marriage is consummated but no further details.
The prose flows okay, a few minor editorial misses.
There are Austen quotes in the beginnings of chapters that seemed a little superfluous sometimes, breaking up the flow of the story. In one scene they go shopping somewhere on the way from the North to Hertfordshire, and apparently there's a shop with a variety of ready made dresses in her size available on the rack.
TL;DR: if this was a couple I knew in real life I would recommend some marital counseling.
March 31, 2017
4,5 stars. I loved the premise, and it didn't disappoint. I cannot give it 5 starts though, because of a few flaws. First, though they are not many, there are some spelling/grammar errors. Also,
But the thing that bothered me most is the ending. It seemed too rush, after all Elizabeth's overthinking during the book.
All in all, I really enjoyed this book, and I'm quite sure I'll read it again.
But the thing that bothered me most is the ending. It seemed too rush, after all Elizabeth's overthinking during the book.
All in all, I really enjoyed this book, and I'm quite sure I'll read it again.
April 25, 2020
Fun read though not overly clever.
There are a lot of misspellings and grammatical mistakes in this rendition. The period work was hinted at but not really mentioned much and rely mostly on you having read pride and prejudice in the first place to fill in your imaginative blanks. However it is cute and and gives some depth of character to both Elizabeth and Darcy. It moves along but sometimes has a tendency to repeat itself in the same paragraph by rewording itself. I found myself skipping over these sections. New twists are introduced to the plot which is interesting and made the story interesting to read in a different way.
There are a lot of misspellings and grammatical mistakes in this rendition. The period work was hinted at but not really mentioned much and rely mostly on you having read pride and prejudice in the first place to fill in your imaginative blanks. However it is cute and and gives some depth of character to both Elizabeth and Darcy. It moves along but sometimes has a tendency to repeat itself in the same paragraph by rewording itself. I found myself skipping over these sections. New twists are introduced to the plot which is interesting and made the story interesting to read in a different way.
October 14, 2017
A shotgun wedding for Mr. Darcy
I was thoroughly pleased with this Elizabeth and Darcy variation. The story varies in all the right ways.
The delightful Mr. Collins and his esteemed patroness embroil Elizabeth and Darcy in such a scandal that they are forced to marry. The story then follows the weeks and months of their polite, strained relationship as they strive to adjust to each other.
The paragraphs are indented in three ways: not at all, just right, and too much. I could not discern a pattern and was left to wonder at the reason for this.
41
I was thoroughly pleased with this Elizabeth and Darcy variation. The story varies in all the right ways.
The delightful Mr. Collins and his esteemed patroness embroil Elizabeth and Darcy in such a scandal that they are forced to marry. The story then follows the weeks and months of their polite, strained relationship as they strive to adjust to each other.
The paragraphs are indented in three ways: not at all, just right, and too much. I could not discern a pattern and was left to wonder at the reason for this.
41
July 9, 2017
Compromised, on several levels
Good writing and plots leading to a somewhat rushed, less than fulfilling ending. Yes, the plotlines were concluded, but the drawn out expectation of passion remained
Good writing and plots leading to a somewhat rushed, less than fulfilling ending. Yes, the plotlines were concluded, but the drawn out expectation of passion remained
November 16, 2017
Mute point?!? It's MOOT point! Just one of the many things that frustrated me about this book.
From my point of view, my enjoyment was decreased by too much Collins, too much Wickham, too much introspection, and not enough about Darcy and Elizabeth, other than the fact that they aren't on the same page about anything.
From my point of view, my enjoyment was decreased by too much Collins, too much Wickham, too much introspection, and not enough about Darcy and Elizabeth, other than the fact that they aren't on the same page about anything.
February 25, 2020
Amazingly done
This variation took you on a long road of understanding between Mr Darcy and Elizabeth. Even though the marriage was a fast one, the understanding took awhile. Many ups and downs, but also a personal experience that Mr Darcy and Elizabeth need to help with. Great storyline, with excellent detailing. Highly Highly recommended.
This variation took you on a long road of understanding between Mr Darcy and Elizabeth. Even though the marriage was a fast one, the understanding took awhile. Many ups and downs, but also a personal experience that Mr Darcy and Elizabeth need to help with. Great storyline, with excellent detailing. Highly Highly recommended.
April 2, 2021
PG-13 rating, 4.5 rounded up to 5 stars
Very good book that sensitively handles a subject that is difficult for some readers. My only problem, a relatively minor one really, is that I frequently wanted to yell at D and E to speak honestly with each other. The very few editing errors did not distract from the story.
Definitely recommended.
Very good book that sensitively handles a subject that is difficult for some readers. My only problem, a relatively minor one really, is that I frequently wanted to yell at D and E to speak honestly with each other. The very few editing errors did not distract from the story.
Definitely recommended.
May 24, 2024
Reread..
4.25*
So much sadness and loneliness. E Bradshaw creates a set of characters that tug at your heart and are all convincing. If only they would speak to each other openly!!! a therapists dream? Nightmare? Another case to prove the point that the definition of to assume is baked into the word. 'ass-u-me'.
4.25*
So much sadness and loneliness. E Bradshaw creates a set of characters that tug at your heart and are all convincing. If only they would speak to each other openly!!! a therapists dream? Nightmare? Another case to prove the point that the definition of to assume is baked into the word. 'ass-u-me'.
March 16, 2018
Good variation
The story was interesting and I continued on until the end. The misunderstandings between Elizabeth and Darcy were irritating at times. All in all though a nice easy read and would recommend on that basis.
The story was interesting and I continued on until the end. The misunderstandings between Elizabeth and Darcy were irritating at times. All in all though a nice easy read and would recommend on that basis.
October 18, 2020
Misunderstandings and miscommunication
The beginning of the book was good. Unfortunately, soon after, the misunderstandings began. There was no communication between Darcy and Elizabeth, just inner thoughts, and there was never enough time or opportunity to speak.
The beginning of the book was good. Unfortunately, soon after, the misunderstandings began. There was no communication between Darcy and Elizabeth, just inner thoughts, and there was never enough time or opportunity to speak.
December 22, 2016
Not too shabby. I'm a Pride and Prejudice wh*****, what can I say
February 19, 2022
Full of restraint
It's a good book that needs to be edited (mute when moot is meant)
However it is Full of restraint and very little open communication which is very frustrating
It's a good book that needs to be edited (mute when moot is meant)
However it is Full of restraint and very little open communication which is very frustrating
Read
December 7, 2022Wickham goes to the ball, scandalously dances with Lizzy (leaving her up to presumptions from her neighbors) and makes Darcy very jealous. Canon diverges from there.
November 4, 2016
Good read
I use this headline carefully! Although, the story was somewhat formulaic, it does work. I also thought that the comprise being publicized by Darcy's Aunt Catherine was genius, and very ironic! Loved tha part of the story..However, there are several things that could have been done differently. Through the entire story Darcy admired Lizzy for her kindheartedness , but how kindhearted can she be if she allows her friend Charlotte to marry a "man of the cloth" that threatens Lizzy with violence in order to to secure her submission and then attempts to compromise her to force her into a marriage.
Also, while I understand and appreciate the necessity of the misunderstandings between Lizzy and Darcy to fit the story, they dragged too long.
I would have finished this book much sooner had it not been for that.
I use this headline carefully! Although, the story was somewhat formulaic, it does work. I also thought that the comprise being publicized by Darcy's Aunt Catherine was genius, and very ironic! Loved tha part of the story..However, there are several things that could have been done differently. Through the entire story Darcy admired Lizzy for her kindheartedness , but how kindhearted can she be if she allows her friend Charlotte to marry a "man of the cloth" that threatens Lizzy with violence in order to to secure her submission and then attempts to compromise her to force her into a marriage.
Also, while I understand and appreciate the necessity of the misunderstandings between Lizzy and Darcy to fit the story, they dragged too long.
I would have finished this book much sooner had it not been for that.
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