The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Strategy for Discipleship that Actually Changes Lives

by Peter Scazzero, Warren Bird (Contributor)

True Discipleship Integrates Emotional and Spiritual Health. New Life Fellowship in Queens, New York, had it powerful teaching, dynamic ministries, an impressive growth rate, and a vision to do great works for God. Things looked good---but beneath the surface, circumstances were more than just brewing. They were about to boil over, forcing Peter Scazzero to confront needs in his church and himself that went deeper than he'd ever imagined. What he learned about the vital link between emotional health, relational depth, and spiritual maturity can shed new light on painful problems in your own church. Here are refreshing new insights, and a different and challenging slant on what it takes to lead your congregation to wholeness and maturity in Christ. Our churches are in trouble, says Scazzero. They are filled with people who are -unsure how to biblically integrate anger, sadness, and other emotions -defensive, incapable of revealing their weaknesses -threatened by or intolerant of different viewpoints -zealous about ministering at church but blind to their spouses' loneliness at home -so involved in 'serving' that they fail to take care of themselves -prone to withdraw from conflict rather than resolve it Sharing from New Life Fellowship's painful but liberating journey, Scazzero reveals exactly how the truth can and does make people free---not just superficially, but deep down. After offering a new vision of discipleship and a revealing, guided self-assessment of your own spiritual and emotional maturity, The Emotionally Healthy Church takes you through six principles that can make a profound difference in your church. You'll acquire knowledge and tools that can help you and others - look beneath the surface of problems - break the power of past wounds, failures, sins, and circumstances - live a life of brokenness and vulnerability - recognize and honor personal limitations and boundaries - embrace grief and loss - make incarnation your model to love others. Written in a personal and passionate style, The Emotionally Healthy Church includes hands-on tools, discussion questions, spotlights on key points, and story after story of people at New Life whose lives have been changed by the concepts in this book. Open these pages, and find out how your church can turn a new corner on the road to spiritual maturity.

Genres: Christian, Church, Leadership, Discipleship, Christianity, Theology, Nonfiction

223 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 2003

Reviews

[Shaun Lee · Rating 1 out of 5]

I first attempted to read this book in 2015 and now (in 2016) I read it again for the purposes of a school assignment.

While the content is not overly complex, I am quite puzzled as to where Scazzero plants the foundation of his thesis from. My polytechnic diploma in psychology better prepared me to read the book critically and yet I came away quite disappointed. I do understand where he is coming from, basically to embrace the brokenness in you (and your family) and not to work yourself until you have nothing left. I do hope to see some proper citations from the experts in field of psychology to add some credibility to the "emotionally healthy" schema.

The Scripture references were often proof-texts of a point he was trying to make, and after a while I had to force myself to finish the book. Basically if you are looking for a (as the subheading goes) strategy, a work-based step-by-step formula, this is the book for you. But if you are interested in meaty ecclesiology, look up Timothy Keller's Center Church or Edmund Clowney's The Church. See also Carlson and Lueken's Renovation of the Church for an account of how two co-pastors moved away from formulaic style approach to running a church.

To top off my discomfort with this book, Chapter 12 was basically advertisements to Scazzero's other books and programs. I cannot recommend this book because of its questionable psychology, allegorical use of Scripture and outrageous self-publicity.

[James · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a hard time with books that are part of a publishing bonanza, with dvd sets, conferences, workbooks, etc. becoming essentially a racket. That being said, enough pain will humble me enough to read anything that looks helpful. This was quite helpful. I think it’s genius was that the author wrote largely from his own experience of failure. Reading about the pastor of a large growing church candidly confessing his own immaturity and bewildering inability to lead with integrity was refreshing and strangely encouraging. I appreciate that he speaks of the way that churches can inadvertently settle for a superficial impact on the lives of the people involved, failing to transform or even address what lies beneath the surface. Those are valuable words.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read a lot about myself in this book. I have seen in my own life the kinds of benefits that come from learning how to process my emotions. Too many in the Church are stuffing, ignoring, or anesthetizing their emotions, all of which is detrimental to our personal growth in the Lord and our ministries. This book is a good start for developing an awareness of our emotions and learning how to process them. If we are brave enough to try...

This book is written for church leaders and posits that a church whose leaders lack emotional maturity cannot be emotionally mature as a whole. This book has value, though, for anyone who wants to move toward emotional maturity in their own life. I think many of the ideas here could be applied within families with much benefit.

[Austenn Akers · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite if the EH series is emotionally healthy spirituality, but this one is still def a banger. To lead from vulnerability and integrity is so good.

Tbh, every disciple of Jesus should read the EH books.

[David Caskey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Possibly the best book I have ever read. Beautifully captivating whilst providing endless challenging theological ideas. The emotionally healthy church starts not with flashy lights, unique teaching or a gifted speaker , it starts and ends with Jesus and our relationship with Him.

[Jeff Palomino · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must read for pastors in church leaders. This is the second time I’ve read this book. This second read I have served for four years is an elder my church. I see a lot of the things in this book - people we would describe as strong disciples of Christ, but who are emotionally immature. This includes people that are difficult to work with, people who are workaholics, and people that tend to make life difficult for church leaders. Sadly, this can also include church leaders themselves. I thought this book gave tremendous insight into the deep work that needs to be done, especially among church leaders, if we are to cultivate real discipleship within our church. Absolutely a must read!

[Brad · Rating 4 out of 5]

A needed perspective on how leaders should lead from a place of vulnerability, honesty, and a sobering reminder of their emotional self and how the gospel impacts every aspect of a person.

[Mark Kamibayashiyama · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pop Psychology Christianity

[J. Alfred · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is mainly for church leaders, and advocates, as it says a number of times, a "Copernican revolution" in the way church leadership is handled (this is evidence of the shaky use of terminology throughout- really, a "Copernican revolution"?). The whole theoretical beginning of the book is suspect for me: it all hinges on the idea that "one cannot be spiritually mature without being emotionally mature." (The converse is clearly untrue, yes? Also, there is a good deal of discussion about the spiritual as distinct from the intellectual and the like, but this is a clear fallacy, I think: the angels are described as being "pure intellegences," and are yet spirits... but I digress.) The practical tips at the end of the book seem solid.

[Justine · Rating 3 out of 5]

Though this is a good book, and one worth reading, I think it lacks the depth that is truly needed for effective change. Peters Emotionally Healthy Leader book I feel covers everything that is in this book but at a much deeper, most intimate and more meddling level - at a level that will produce more change. If you could only read one of his books I would recommend the Emotionally Healthy Leader over this. As he says in this book, things in the church aren’t going to change unless we are the change and if we want to create change then we really need to have a deeper look into our own lives first.

[Carrie Kann · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pete Scazzero’s “Emotionally Healthy” resources have been literally life changing for me. I was first introduced to these ideas almost a decade ago, and every time I work through the material again, I learn something new.

“You cannot be spiritually mature without being emotionally mature.”

This book walks you through areas of your life in which you can take a hard look under the surface and start moving towards a more emotionally healthy, full integrated life. I recommend these books ALL the time and never turn down an opportunity to re-read them together with someone I love.

[Jeannie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this was helpful to think about: can you be spiritually mature without being emotionally mature? Talks a lot about understanding yourself/past/family and how those affect you now and only then being able to really love people where they are. Takes focus off of performing/doing.

[Katie Lindsey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had some great points, but it completely grossed over the how. How do you grieve well, how do you become more vulnerable, how do you become incarnational and maintain yourself. The author didn't finish the anecdotes on how he did these things.

[Jared Pilkington · Rating 4 out of 5]

So much dang good stuff in this. It’s dense lol so gotta take it low and slow.

Definitely is a practice to be emotionally healthy, not just a one time thing.

Spiritual maturity and emotional health are inseparable.

[Ryan Hatch · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good book on emotional health and maturity in the church. Scazzero outlines many ways that leaders and churches can become more like Christ through limits, brokenness, and self-awareness. Above all, he claims we must make the Incarnation our model for loving people.

“People are desperate to be with others who will incarnate God's love in a practical way, who can do what the father does…embrace, love, empathize, be present, and forgive freely.“

[Janelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a really good read as it focused on how we as individuals have a very important part to play in helping our church to be a healthy environment. It provides numerous practical tools and gives lots of reflections on the importance of developing healthy spiritual and emotional as individuals and how when we don't have things in their proper place can adversely affect corporately our roles within our churches and the parts we try to play.

[David Burton · Rating 3 out of 5]

SUMMARY: A formerly burnt-out pastor makes a personal case for attending to emotional health issues in church and ministry life. Many helpful insights, but in general the case was made in Chapter 1 and the rest was commentary. I felt at times like he was trying to convince us of the connection between spiritual and emotional health, suggesting that you cannot be spiritually mature without being emotionally mature too. Scazzero is Pentecostal and I think their focus on emotions influences him. "Emotional health and spiritual maturity are inseparable. It is not possible to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature." (p10) I would also not say that emotional health and emotional maturity are necessarily the same thing. I do, however, agree with the importance of emotional health, being self-aware, and knowing our limits.

DETAILS: Scazzero says his book's purpose is helping churches "integrate emotional maturity as a focus" in their discipleship (p19). He discusses the spiritual disciplines for Christians:
1. Look below the surface at emotional health.
2. Break the power of past influences (including in the church).
3. Live in brokenness and vulnerability
4. Receive the gift of limits.
5. Embrace their losses and grieving.
6. Make incarnation your model for living well.
7. Slow down to lead with integrity.

LESSONS LEARNED FROM THIS BOOK

SABBATH: Scazzero’s focus on the sabbath (I also read his book on emotionally healthy leaders) is important. I think the idea of the Sabbath has been lost in Western American culture. Although my goal has been not to work on Sunday, having a sabbath means more. If Sunday was my sabbath as described by Scazzero, I would not plan or attend deacon’s meetings on that day (for example). This is complicated for church staff who work on Sunday and use a different day as their Sabbath. There is a tension in calling church members to serve when they work all week and serve on days off, while church staff says, “Oh I can’t help on that day because it is my time off.” This is a tension that I have observed but Scazzero does not address in the context of the Sabbath. He tells church leaders to take breaks but does not address this existing tension.

EMOTIONS: I agree with Scazzero that Christians are taught to bury their negative emotions. As a result, problems do not get discussed and alternative ideas are not addressed. In their personal life, it can cause members to replace emotions with work, or negative feelings toward themselves or others, or even to withdraw. Scazzero says this lack of discussion of emotions is deadly to the church body. He provides examples. He argues that emotional infancy can be disciplined into emotional adulthood with proper Biblical training. His point is that emotional health leads to spiritual health. Humans are like icebergs in that they have a lot of emotions hidden beneath the surface. Most people won't deal with these emotions until it becomes too painful for them to avoid doing so. On this I agree with Scazzero. But in church settings, we often eat our own because we no longer pursue Biblical discipline, etc. I think this change and the influence of culture on the church is some of what are causing the visible challenges.
IMPACT OF CULTURE AND FEAR OF MAN: There have been times when I, like Scazzero, have been a “workaholic for God.” In church leaders, this can have negative consequences. Scazzero says the reason for burnout in church leaders is a lack of emotional maturity. He recommends seven steps for spiritual discipleship (listed earlier). I think there are aspects of American culture at play here too: the tendency toward independent actions, the trend toward isolationism (sometimes masked by saying we are introverts), and a move away from seeing church leadership as a ministry and as a job instead. Scazzero argues that our emotions, and things like our family of origin, are bigger influences than culture. In fact, he barely touches upon the power and influence of the culture, which is a mistake. I have found that this tension actually arises when we get the influence of God and people out of order. Ed Welch’s book, “When People Are Big and God Is Small” addresses this issue. When Scazzero often talked about the influences of our emotions, he deferred to the influence of men versus the influence of God. Our attention should be focused on God. In the Bible, this is referred to as the fear of the Lord, which Welch defines as “reverent submission that leads to obedience” and is interchangeable with words like worship, trust, and hope in. It includes a knowledge of our sinfulness and God’s moral purity and a clear-eyed knowledge of God’s justice and his answer against sin. But this worship fear also knows God's great forgiveness, mercy and love. Our hearts have dozens of ways to avoid the fear of the Lord. One strategy is that we downgrade obedience into concern about appearances. Another way is to become a workaholic with “good works” for the church. The American problem is clear: people are too big in our lives and God is too small. The answer is straightforward: we must learn that our God is more loving and more powerful than we imagined. The goal is to establish a daily tradition of growing in the knowledge of God.

APPLICATION: Earlier this year, after much prayer and consideration, I set goals for myself that help focus my priorities and time. I use these to frame my decisions regarding requests that are made of me. Because these are where I believe God is directing me, and because they address some weaknesses in my life, these are my focus. These demonstrate emotional and spiritual maturity, although my consistent ability to apply them is a work in progress!

With every choice I ask of myself: 1. Does it help me get healthy or lose weight? 2. Does it help me grow as a believer and deepen my love of God? 3. Does it help me be a more engaged neighbor? 4. Does it help me get my books written? 5. Does it strengthen our marriage? 6. By doing this am I demonstrating a fear of the Lord or fear of man?

CONCLUSION: I am no expert on spiritual development although I know that God’s calling for me is whatever leads to my sanctification. I agree with Scazzero that we tend to bury our emotions rather than deal with them (especially in a church). We sometimes have an unhealthy devotion to our jobs that squeezes out other important aspects of life. I liked the real-life examples he included in the book, making it seem like practical advice. I thought Scazzero's seven principles have value, especially for church leaders. But the book is not without flaws. I felt he missed the mark by excluding the impact of culture and our fear of man. I thought there were too many real-life stories with very little practical advice. In a few sections I had a hard time figuring out his point. I also felt like his advice for pastors lacked balance regarding living in brokenness and receiving the gift of limits. I felt he needed to explain the concept of balance in a Christian’s life. I would also have liked to read more about spiritual maturity but realize that emotional maturity was his book's point.

[Anna Chviedaruk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Though the start of the book is like in any American book - long, watery, tooooo long; i liked it.
This is definitely the book to work through and to reread. Each chapter should be read slowly, the material helps one to dig deeper into her past, character and habits to become a truly healthier person. God is doing a restoration work in the ones who became His children. The question is whether the children are aware of this and are open to go through some hard stuff to be changed. Emotional health means that a person is free from their negative past, are able to see people through grace and love, because they are aware of their own brokenness and limits and are able to incarnate Jesus here on earth while He has not come back yet.

In order to become a healthy person you need to work deeper emotional things through. And this book is a very good tool to do that.

[Ryan Residence · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some helpful thoughts in this book, but the author takes too much time to get them out. It’s evident he is used to communicating through story, which is often a great teaching tool; however, it’s my opinion that he relies too heavily on anecdotes. He takes the reader deep into his own experiences and thought patterns (including unhealthy ones, which he struggled and learned through), but somewhere along the way it seems he forgot to help the reader learn the lessons at hand. But like I said, there are some helpful thoughts. And he addresses some concepts that the Christian certainly ought to ponder, but I think the best parts of this book could have been scaled down to a 7-point blog post.

[Tom · Rating 3 out of 5]

A formerly burnt-out pastor makes a personal case for attending to emotional-health issues in church and ministry life. Many helpful insights, but in general I felt the case was made in chapter 1 and the rest was commentary. I also felt at times like he was trying to convince us of the connection between spiritual and emotional health. Scazzero is Pentecostal. In my faith tradition (Lutheran), I don't think this would be a debate, but a duh.

I think this book would be fruitful for a council or leadership team to work through. Probably a deeper experience than reading it individually.

[Albert Hong · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a solid read with good insight for church leaders as to how to develop a lifestyle that is conducive to a sustained, life-giving, non-burning out ministry.

I resonate a lot with the path that Scazzero takes. From burnout to monastery to trying to live out ministry integrating contemplative practices with active mission.

We're going to use this within our church and it has been a helpful guide for working through a difficult season.

[Joshua Ray · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a fantastic book. Every pastor or leader in the Christian community should read this!

Scazzero addresses a component missing all too often in our discipleship: Emotional maturity and health. Seriously so critical! This has changed my view on leadership in the church, discipleship, and personal maturity. Could not recommend this any more strongly!

[Kris · Rating 2 out of 5]

The advice in this book is so obvious it starts to veer from common sense land into cliche/platitude territory. I didn‘t really learn anything new. It contains a bit of gospel, and does incorporate some theology about Christian living, but most of the time it takes a psychological approach and hits the readers with the law.

[Brandon Bellinghausen · Rating 2 out of 5]

I remember reading this and thinking, "meh..."

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

There’s lots to like about the author’s approach to lament, the slow reveal of broken places and the need for healing, and some interesting takes on the doctrine of the incarnation. I found myself flipping between appreciation for the honesty of the material, frustration at a therapeutic versus hermeneutic model, and understanding. Since the author didn’t experience healing until the lies covering the hermeneutic model were broken, I think he replaced one model for another largely because of personal experience.

Having said that, his experience is vast and extensive. It’s impressive to take a new family and live in South America so that you can minister to diverse groups in New York City. It takes courage to admit past failures without pretending that it’s all just grist for God’s kingdom mill. Some things on this earth remain broken - and that’s where the Psalms come in.

The book relies heavily on cultural touch points (fiction, mystics like Henri Nouwen, occasional movies). The New Life church went through stormy seasons, not unlike the temple rebuilders under Nehemiah.

As a fan of ‘Boundaries’, I appreciated the inclusion of the man-jumping-off-bridge parable. Handing the end of your rope to a stranger and telling him to hold on (without limits, without recognizing his right to continue walking over the bridge as per his plan) is an exercise in foolish dependence and passing off personal responsibility for handling your own issues. Shrieking at him to not let go of the rope when the day is gone and you’re refusing to climb up the rope (so he can get on with his life) is just manipulative selfishness.

I agree that emotional and spiritual maturity should grow together. Splitting out growth into separate facets of life will either make a person lopsided or hypocritical, or both.

I’m not in agreement that the path forward in church life is to turn every small group into a therapeutic ‘topical’ exploration of emotional issues. (That’s what it sounds like, to me.) Moving toward self-awareness can be a good byproduct of studying and applying the Word, but it shouldn’t lead the way. (Nor should an academic tone overshadow an emphasis on real people grappling with real issues, and bringing them to the cross.) It overlooks the fact that healing was a sign meant to draw attention to the preaching of the Word, and the sending of the Spirit. (He gets scant attention here.)

The point of the church is to create disciples meant for new heavens and a new earth. While I agree that this doesn’t mean people quietly dying inside as they sacrificially replace family life with reconstruction projects …it also doesn’t mean people exploring family-of-origin issues for years as a replacement for spiritual disciplines. An idol of works can easily be replaced by an idol of psychological health.

While sin is named and acknowledged, the emphasis on ‘go and sin no more’ is missing - other than inside of an emotional framework. (The stories of sacrificial giving and resentment-inducing lack of boundaries with the mom raising five children from different fathers is a great example.) I think its inclusion would have really enhanced what is otherwise an excellent read.

And kudos for the inclusion of Psalms in worship - completely agree that lament is a necessary part of real worship!

[Rob Markley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am honesty ambivalent on this book, which is lauded so highly. There are some really deep spiritual principles encapsulated in the teaching - things that are not well enough understood and should be taught more. In saying this I am a little wary that so much of the illustration comes from secular (even other religions) movies, stories, novels; and often in a critical stance against people of faith. The biblical and Christian material is often less weighty. We don't want simply a pseudo-Christian self improvement book do we? I was gratified to read that the context of his church was amongst a relatively difficult and broken community - this strengthened his case for me.

However bigger picture - I can't help but feel too much of it is Scazzero getting in touch with his feminine side (softer, relational, embracing) -there is a little quote near the end about hugging each other after women's fellowship! Really the bigger problem in the wider church is lack of properly expressed masculinity (drive, vision, courage...).

Scazzero might have been taken on this journey but surely its a stretch to say most church leaders are in really dysfunctional places to actually need to address this? - or is the church, particularly in America in worst state than I imagine? Then again would anyone have noticed this book if it hadn't been written by a 'star' - right at the start he gives the stunning credentials of his first year and first four years of ministry success. The problem with this is firstly, it's just another case of honouring worldly success not true modelling of discipleship after all. Secondly maybe it is the so easily achieved worldly success that made such a u turn necessary for Scazzero? Maybe it is in success driven churches that this approach is needed - because those churches don't have good track records for longevity, but in more 'normal' churches a quite different book on emotional health needs to be written.

[Bonnie Krueger · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was probably more applicable to people serving in ministry as a full or part time position although there were a lot of good takeaways for people attending church. I have been a Christian 27 years and I have been a member of 4 churches. I left the first one after noticing he was preaching the identical message, just changing the title and a few things here and there. I was destined to stagnate in my walk. The second church was too small once I married a man with kids and our situation was unique to the church. No one knew how to minister to our unique needs and it was no longer a good fit. Our third church started off strong, but over time as the administration changed, I felt more and more detached. I asked to serve in two very specific ways and the church admin said that met a need is a big way. Very God ordained. A year later, I was still asking to be trained in those positions but it never happened. I also went through three very difficult things in the space of 18 months and the church was not there for me AT ALL! For being a relatively small church who all knew me, it was unforgivable. Once, sure. Twice, OK, an oversight. But to show a pattern of not caring for its congregation was the 'final straw'. My husband and I didn't bad mouth the church when we left. We met with the elders and pastor explaining why. The pastor basically told us what we were feeling wasn't the truth. Wow. Talk about validation for leaving. I think he meant well but perhaps his heart should have been open to what we were saying. We were right to leave. No one seemed to care anyway. One person reached out to me when she heard. Other than that, and a few people deleting me on FB from church, no one seemed to care. It's a shame. If this is what newcomers see, I don't know how the church maintains its congregation or grows. I wish them well, but leaving was certainly the right decision.

[Jacob Kingsley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Scazzero addresses the plague of emotional illiteracy amongst the modern day western church and call us to live in the freedom of Christ throughout this book. The flow of the book follows his own story, process of growth, and sanctification. I believe many who work in the church, or serve in any capacity, can either see elements of his story in their own life or in a leader around them (although being an emotional health detective is not the purpose of this book).
The crux of Scazzero’s argument throughout the book is that holistic spiritual health and freedom in Christ can not be obtained while ignoring how God wants to work through our emotions and shortcomings. I believe Scazzero balanced his approach to emotions well as he did not take a new age stance to validate emotions and instruct the reader to follow & serve their feelings, but neither did he condemn emotions themselves and teach to suppress them in the name of spirituality.

As someone who has been led by God through spiritual & emotional healing, I can attest that God has worked THROUGH my emotions and awareness of them in powerful ways.

My biggest critique of this title is the absence of 1 or 2 central Scriptural texts to anchor the argument on and to come back to as a waypoint and reference throughout the book. I’ve seen other reviewers complain that in Scazzero’s building out the “Emotionally Healthy” catalogue he is peddling or building a network and this disqualifies the need for insights within this book, and I think that is nonsensical — he is providing valuable resources to the Church and seeking to edify fellow believers.

[Tasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Today we still use the phrase Copernican revolution to describe a whole new way of looking at life, one that shakes the foundations of how we feel, think, or see something. I believe the thesis of this book- that emotional health and spiritual health are inseparable - will amount to a Copernican revolution for many in the Christian community. It is not possible for a Christian to be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature.”

"The Emotionally Healthy Church" is based around the thesis that emotional health and maturity are integral to spiritual health, and that the two are inseparable. The book has come from author Peter Scazzero's own painful seasons as a church leader and a realisation that all was not well with his emotional health and subsequently the health of his church. Scazzero points to Jesus' engagement with emotions and the experiences of key biblical figures, offering a biblical theology of emotional health. He presents a practical framework which enables us to grow into emotional and spiritual health through the following principles: looking beneath the surface; breaking the power of the past; receiving the gift of limits; embracing grief and loss; and making incarnation your model for loving well. The book is packed full of practical tools and questions for self-exploration to help us to follow the principles he outlines.

I loved this book and found it practically captured what it means to bring our whole selves, including and especially our emotional selves, into discipleship with Jesus. Scazzero addresses some of the mis-led theological underpinnings that lead to stigma and avoidance of emotions in the church. This book has given me practical tools to disciple and be discipled well in a way that doesn't push emotions to the side or swallow them; crucially, it recognises that it is God who does the work of transformation and change but that there are ways we can position ourselves for that change. For me, it was also a poignant reminder that we are all prodigals found in the loving arms of the Father and that is where we should stay daily, and crucially that this is how we should also view others. Words can't do justice to how much this book has impacted my day-to-day thinking, my interactions with others and my understanding of how Jesus works to change us. I know it will continue to be a rich source of inspiration for me.

[Tyler Piatt · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've heard this book recommended so many times as a "staple" read for a lot of Christians out there (this and emotionally healthy spirituality). Im going to be honest, I was disappointed. I do want to start with what I liked:
-Scazzero being VERY vulnerable throughout the book and using his failures in ministry not only as a lesson for himself, but others. That takes guts.
Now on to what nagged at me:
- The book was swallowed by CONSTANT illustrations. The usefulness of this book is buried under them. I'm not saying the illustrations were bad, but I felt like we were teetering in between memoir and strategy for self-discipleship. I appreciate the relatability, but after a while I get the basics enough that we can move on to the meat I need.
-Perhaps this upcoming statement is due to the age of the book (20 plus years since publishing), but if your seeing a quality counselor and a reading a couple other prominent books on health from a Christian perspective... you're getting all this info already. Don't burn yourself out. Take care of your family's health. Don't do ministry and not include God.
Overall: I don't know... I've heard a lot of people getting something out of this one and that's really encouraging. I on the other hand, struggled immensely to get to the end of it and didn't leave with much value after finishing. Maybe it's simply not for everyone!