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Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World
Screenwise offers a realistic and optimistic perspective on how to thoughtfully guide kids in the digital age. Many parents feel that their kids are addicted, detached, or distracted because of their digital devices. Media expert Devorah Heitner, however, believes that technology offers huge potential to our children-if parents help them. Using the foundation of their own values and experiences, parents and educators can learn about the digital world to help set kids up for a lifetime of success in a world fueled by technology. Screenwise is a guide to understanding more about what it is like for children to grow up with technology, and to recognizing the special challenges-and advantages-that contemporary kids and teens experience thanks to this level of connection. In it, Heitner presents practical parenting "hacks": quick ideas that you can implement today that will help you understand and relate to your digital native. The book will empower parents to recognize that the wisdom that they have gained throughout their lives is a relevant and urgently needed supplement to their kid's digital savvy, and help them develop skills for managing the new challenges of parenting. Based on real-life stories from other parents and Heitner's wealth of knowledge on the subject, Screenwise teaches parents what they need to know in order to raise responsible digital citizens.
247 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2016
131 people are currently reading
1944 people want to read
About the author
Devorah Heitner
6 books75 followersABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dr. Devorah Heitner is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and her book on navigating privacy and reputation with kids and teens, Growing Up in Public will be out Septmber with Penguin Random House.
Dr. Heitner’s work has appeared in the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNN Opinion. She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern. She is delighted to be raising her own teenager and she lives with her family in Chicagoland. You can follow her on Twitter @Devorahheitner and on Instagram @devorahheitnerphd.
Dr. Devorah Heitner is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and her book on navigating privacy and reputation with kids and teens, Growing Up in Public will be out Septmber with Penguin Random House.
Dr. Heitner’s work has appeared in the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNN Opinion. She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern. She is delighted to be raising her own teenager and she lives with her family in Chicagoland. You can follow her on Twitter @Devorahheitner and on Instagram @devorahheitnerphd.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews
February 7, 2017
I HIGHLY recommend this book to any person Who has any kind of interaction or influence with children. It was a highly encouraging, positive parenting type of book for me especially who tends to demonize screen time.
It encourages mentorship over monitoring, though recognizes that monitoring has its place.
One of the best chapters for me personally to read was that on tech positive parenting. It gave me a whole new perspective on the use of technology, one which I believe will help to build bridges with my kids rather than burn them.
Probably the biggest take away from this book was a parenting philosophy that certainly can be applied to more areas than screen use. That parenting philosophy is to be teaching my children what is right rather than catching them doing wrong. There are certainly consequences when they do wrong, but the change in emphasis makes all the difference in the world as far as my relationship with my children. That encouragement alone was worth all 219 pages.
In addition, she outlines great questions to be asking children to gain understanding of their perspective and judgment, to build trust and empathy from which to be able to instruct and guide their use of technology.
I didn't agree with every single point in the book or all of her bottom line philosophies on a child's nature, but there was enough gold to be mined in this book for me to give it five stars and to highly recommend it to others.
Some of the chapter titles are as follows:
Raising digital natives
Assessing your own digital literacy
Coming to tech positive parent
Family life in the digital age
Friendship and dating in the digital age
School life in the digital age
Growing up in public
It encourages mentorship over monitoring, though recognizes that monitoring has its place.
One of the best chapters for me personally to read was that on tech positive parenting. It gave me a whole new perspective on the use of technology, one which I believe will help to build bridges with my kids rather than burn them.
Probably the biggest take away from this book was a parenting philosophy that certainly can be applied to more areas than screen use. That parenting philosophy is to be teaching my children what is right rather than catching them doing wrong. There are certainly consequences when they do wrong, but the change in emphasis makes all the difference in the world as far as my relationship with my children. That encouragement alone was worth all 219 pages.
In addition, she outlines great questions to be asking children to gain understanding of their perspective and judgment, to build trust and empathy from which to be able to instruct and guide their use of technology.
I didn't agree with every single point in the book or all of her bottom line philosophies on a child's nature, but there was enough gold to be mined in this book for me to give it five stars and to highly recommend it to others.
Some of the chapter titles are as follows:
Raising digital natives
Assessing your own digital literacy
Coming to tech positive parent
Family life in the digital age
Friendship and dating in the digital age
School life in the digital age
Growing up in public
December 23, 2016
A practical and supportive guide for parents. Heitner's key message? You don’t have to understand the ins and outs of every conceivable social media platform or app in order to help your child thrive online. What matters more than your own technical savvy is the life experience you bring to the table—that and your willingness to mentor and guide your child as she begins to explore the online world.
Read my full review of the book (including a short Q&A with the book's author) here:
http://www.anndouglas.net/blog/2016/1...
Read my full review of the book (including a short Q&A with the book's author) here:
http://www.anndouglas.net/blog/2016/1...
April 27, 2017
This book changed my thinking about how to approach technology with kids. After reading it, I'm going to be actively looking for opportunities to mentor rather than relying solely on limiting screen time (although I still believe that to be important as well). I would have liked a few more specific suggestions and tips though. I liked the open-ended questions that the author provided as conversation starters, but there were so many that it was a bit overwhelming and I would have liked to read example answers to some! I would have also liked more detailed examples of how different families are navigating technology in positive ways. I liked the references to other research, books, and websites on the topic and I'm inspired enough to do some more reading.
February 6, 2020
Overall, this was a slow, boring read. If you are a social media user who considers herself at least semi savvy, I suggest you skip this read. I feel like most of the tips were common sense suggestions that could have been bullet pointed in a concise blog article. Thankfully, the book is presented almost like a compilation of blog posts so I was able to skim over several of the most basic topics.
I did, however, appreciate some of the conversation starters. So there’s that...
I did, however, appreciate some of the conversation starters. So there’s that...
January 30, 2018
Not exactly a riveting read and didn’t give me nearly the specifics I was hoping for, but some useful info in here about what kinds of conversations to have with kids about using technology appropriately.
April 7, 2020
"The device matters less than the motive. (Our) job is to look past the device and help them be a better friend, a better citizen, and a better person."
September 27, 2016
DH has produced a book that is so smart. It's something I can keep on my bookshelf & return to.
Share time with our kids online.
This is so fresh!
Rather than reduce kids time online to good/bad or monitored screen time, DH suggests getting involved. Sharing time online allows parents & others to figure stuff out. If kids love something, why? What need is it fulfilling? Why do they live one app/game over another? & why aren't we right their with them using our own knowledge to enhance the best of whatever app/game kids like?
I love the premise here & this book will stay in my shelf as a reminder to participate, not judge or monitor time or, most importantly, dismiss anything a kid likes without making the plunge myself.
Share time with our kids online.
This is so fresh!
Rather than reduce kids time online to good/bad or monitored screen time, DH suggests getting involved. Sharing time online allows parents & others to figure stuff out. If kids love something, why? What need is it fulfilling? Why do they live one app/game over another? & why aren't we right their with them using our own knowledge to enhance the best of whatever app/game kids like?
I love the premise here & this book will stay in my shelf as a reminder to participate, not judge or monitor time or, most importantly, dismiss anything a kid likes without making the plunge myself.
November 22, 2016
A nice, quick read. There was nothing particularly earth-shattering, just advice on how to transfer good parenting skills to the digital realm (i.e., think mentoring instead of monitoring).
The book included some points I hadn't thought of before, like explicitly demonstrating technology etiquette to kids because our private devices make it hard for them to pick up behavioral cues, or having kids identify and explain why certain accounts are effective (or not) on a particular platform. I also enjoyed reading about kids' perspectives on adults' tech use, too.
The book included some points I hadn't thought of before, like explicitly demonstrating technology etiquette to kids because our private devices make it hard for them to pick up behavioral cues, or having kids identify and explain why certain accounts are effective (or not) on a particular platform. I also enjoyed reading about kids' perspectives on adults' tech use, too.
December 14, 2017
Excellent way to view screen use and how best parents can model and mentor kids with a "tech positive" view. Good specific ways to talk with kids about all aspects of tech use and social media. I wrote about much of what I learned here: http://sunshine-parenting.com/2017/04...
I highly recommend Heitner's book for all parents, but especially before kids get on their "own" screens. I wish I had this information before screens became so ubiquitous.
I highly recommend Heitner's book for all parents, but especially before kids get on their "own" screens. I wish I had this information before screens became so ubiquitous.
November 6, 2017
Solid book, though it could have been cut down a bit. Nothing earth shattering, but good information.
February 11, 2019
Saw author speak. Interesting roundup of what should be common sense goals.
August 4, 2023
“Let’s stand up. Let’s be mentors. It’s up to us.”
Fantastic practical device on mentoring our kids in a digital age.
Fantastic practical device on mentoring our kids in a digital age.
February 19, 2020
Biggest takeaway: you have to be ‘mentors’ to your kids and be a screen role model to show them what is appropriate screen usage. Lots of common sense stuff
February 16, 2020
Great read with lots of practical, actionable advice on raising your kids in the new digital age.
February 23, 2017
There is absolutely no excuse for my having taken so long to write a review, seeing that since I've read the book, it has stayed in my mind and influenced the way I choose to parent in this new digital landscape. Heitner's book is divided into discrete sections that cover the major stumbling blocks for modern parents with regard to technology: family life, school, privacy in app usage, inappropriate content, bullying, etc.
One of the things I liked most of the book was that you'll certainly feel reassured rather than overwhelmed after reading it. Heitner reminds us that although this digital landscape is extremely frightening to a parent as an unknown (what are my kids doing out there, and when, and with whom, and is everything ok?), the kids ARE okay. After all, while many of us grew up before the age of the internet, we are now raising digital natives, and though they still absolutely need our guidance, there are many aspects of technology that they understand intuitively. Heitner based her book on a great foundation of observation and interviews with kids--to hear what they actually think and say and do, not just about their own usage of technology, but about their parents' usage, and how that interplays with family life.
I would recommend this book to any modern parent, but especially to parents of kids around the ages of seven and eight, who are just at the beginning of their upcoming online social interactions. With Heitner's book, you can parent deliberately and see your kids through the frightening times of adolescence without the fear.
One of the things I liked most of the book was that you'll certainly feel reassured rather than overwhelmed after reading it. Heitner reminds us that although this digital landscape is extremely frightening to a parent as an unknown (what are my kids doing out there, and when, and with whom, and is everything ok?), the kids ARE okay. After all, while many of us grew up before the age of the internet, we are now raising digital natives, and though they still absolutely need our guidance, there are many aspects of technology that they understand intuitively. Heitner based her book on a great foundation of observation and interviews with kids--to hear what they actually think and say and do, not just about their own usage of technology, but about their parents' usage, and how that interplays with family life.
I would recommend this book to any modern parent, but especially to parents of kids around the ages of seven and eight, who are just at the beginning of their upcoming online social interactions. With Heitner's book, you can parent deliberately and see your kids through the frightening times of adolescence without the fear.
September 15, 2020
Updated review: Came back to this book now that we're in the middle of a pandemic and the temptation to plop my toddler in front of a screen is HIGH. Trying to revisit just how much is too much. Frankly, I found this book to be more helpful for individuals who might not be familiar with technology in general. While I still find the idea of being a digital coach presented in this book helpful, I also think Parenting in the Age of Attention Snatchers: A Step-by-Step Guide to Balancing Your Child's Use of Technology may be a slightly more practical book that also explained more of the science behind what is going on here.
(Older Review) Answer the question "How do I raise my kid in the digital age?" The good news is that you don't have to ban them from entering the digital world and you do have valuable insights and tools to give them about how to use the digital tools at their fingertips, even if you aren't super familiar with them. Even though I grew up in the age of AIM I wasn't confident in how I would approach this with my own kids. This book helped give me important guidance - and turned down my panic.
(Older Review) Answer the question "How do I raise my kid in the digital age?" The good news is that you don't have to ban them from entering the digital world and you do have valuable insights and tools to give them about how to use the digital tools at their fingertips, even if you aren't super familiar with them. Even though I grew up in the age of AIM I wasn't confident in how I would approach this with my own kids. This book helped give me important guidance - and turned down my panic.
December 30, 2016
As often described, this book has a very positive outlook. I took copious notes because digital citizenship is an important part of being a media specialist. There were several aspects that had not occurred to me before.
I have attended several events for parents in different school districts in my area. As with the people who would take the time to read this book, involved parents tend to be the ones who attend those events. However, having more parents taking part can do nothing but help.
I wonder about opportunities for parents in my school to consult each other; that is actually an important facet mentioned in the book. The whole idea of mentoring vs. monitoring is emphasized and explained several times throughout.
I did find some chapters to be a bit repetitive, and there were several cases early in the book mentioning "in a later chapter we will..."
I really liked the suggestions about creating some joint social media accounts as "training wheels," examples of lines to use with children, and emphasis on encouraging them to come to you to deal with problems.
My own children were coming of age during some of the earlier stages of social media, but this book would have been very helpful to me then. It is well researched, and has extensive footnotes and references. Chapters can be used individually (which is perhaps why some of it seems repetitive).
I have attended several events for parents in different school districts in my area. As with the people who would take the time to read this book, involved parents tend to be the ones who attend those events. However, having more parents taking part can do nothing but help.
I wonder about opportunities for parents in my school to consult each other; that is actually an important facet mentioned in the book. The whole idea of mentoring vs. monitoring is emphasized and explained several times throughout.
I did find some chapters to be a bit repetitive, and there were several cases early in the book mentioning "in a later chapter we will..."
I really liked the suggestions about creating some joint social media accounts as "training wheels," examples of lines to use with children, and emphasis on encouraging them to come to you to deal with problems.
My own children were coming of age during some of the earlier stages of social media, but this book would have been very helpful to me then. It is well researched, and has extensive footnotes and references. Chapters can be used individually (which is perhaps why some of it seems repetitive).
March 29, 2018
This was a well done book with a lot of useful information. I didn't realize this when I started reading it, but it was a little old for the age my kids currently (they're four and two) but that really just made it so the book brought up a lot of ideas and problems that I haven't given much thought yet. It helped create a dialogue between my husband and I about how we'd like to handle some of these screen and media issues as our kids get older, which was also great.
The organization was well done, though there were several things that were a little repetitive throughout (maybe on purpose, as they were some of her bigger ideas). She included a lot of sample dialogue and interactions of how parents might handle different issues or situations and she also covered a wide range of topics within the main topic. One reason I didn't give it five stars was simply because I disagree with some of the advice she gives, but it seems to work well for her and other parents, so that's a little bit of preference. Overall, it was well done and I will probably be buying a hard copy so I can go back and reference it as my kids grow up.
The organization was well done, though there were several things that were a little repetitive throughout (maybe on purpose, as they were some of her bigger ideas). She included a lot of sample dialogue and interactions of how parents might handle different issues or situations and she also covered a wide range of topics within the main topic. One reason I didn't give it five stars was simply because I disagree with some of the advice she gives, but it seems to work well for her and other parents, so that's a little bit of preference. Overall, it was well done and I will probably be buying a hard copy so I can go back and reference it as my kids grow up.
October 15, 2019
This book pretty much sums up all of my fears, so far, of raising digital native kids. It introduced some new fears/ideas that I hadn't thought of before because my kids are still relatively young. I get really tired of hearing about parenting under the old "we came home when the streetlights came on" axiom and so it's nice to read something that is talking to you, the parent, raising kids today. How much screen time? Too much screen time? When do we get a phone for them? Social media? We still struggle, in our house, with how to balance everything. I don't imagine that will end. The take away, for me, is that you have to mentor good screen behavior. It's pretty hypocritical to yell at them about their screen time while you are texting people or scrolling through FaceBook, bringing your phone to the supper table. We live in a world where our media is all driven through the wi-fi and internet. How can we expect them to not want to get on there? I'm not sure this answered all of my questions but it gave me ideas and it clued me in that some of my rules were bad and unsustainable. Not for my book club but definitely for my peer parents.
May 6, 2017
Until I read this book I was of the mindset that the longer I could limit my kids' entry into the online/digital space, the better. Now I realize how much fear and misunderstanding was behind that philosophy, and I can't say enough great things about this book. Heitner walks parents gently through the process of becoming "tech-positive"--which doesn't mean we have to permit and allow it all, but rather that we see the many benefits of technology and stop reacting from a place of fear and control.
The book has concrete tips for "mentoring" kids from school-age to teen as they begin to use texting, social media, online gaming, and more, and reassures parents that we don't have to be an expert at every new app in order to help our kids navigate the social and emotional challenges that these avenues bring up. I'm still a rather tech-cautious parents, but now I'm all in for experiencing technology WITH my kids, instead of trying to shield them from it. Highly recommend for parents of preschoolers through teens.
The book has concrete tips for "mentoring" kids from school-age to teen as they begin to use texting, social media, online gaming, and more, and reassures parents that we don't have to be an expert at every new app in order to help our kids navigate the social and emotional challenges that these avenues bring up. I'm still a rather tech-cautious parents, but now I'm all in for experiencing technology WITH my kids, instead of trying to shield them from it. Highly recommend for parents of preschoolers through teens.
February 1, 2019
As far as enjoyability ... this was really a 2 for me, but usefulness makes it only fair that I give it a 3.
I don't know that the general content of this work makes me the intended audience. As a middle school educator, I felt like a LOT of this material was very redundant to what I already know and do with my students and my own children.
What I appreciated about the book were the many suggestions for how to engage in conversations with one's children that might spark a more open and honest talk and a spirit of mentorship and collaboration when dealing with tricky topics around social media and access to content that we don't necessarily want our kids to see but know they can get to.
If a parent was truly at a loss for how to navigate the screen world with their kids, this would be an amazing resource. As is, for me I did a LOT of fast scanning, and was often a bit bored, but still was able to pull more than a few useful nuggets that made it worth working through to the end.
I don't know that the general content of this work makes me the intended audience. As a middle school educator, I felt like a LOT of this material was very redundant to what I already know and do with my students and my own children.
What I appreciated about the book were the many suggestions for how to engage in conversations with one's children that might spark a more open and honest talk and a spirit of mentorship and collaboration when dealing with tricky topics around social media and access to content that we don't necessarily want our kids to see but know they can get to.
If a parent was truly at a loss for how to navigate the screen world with their kids, this would be an amazing resource. As is, for me I did a LOT of fast scanning, and was often a bit bored, but still was able to pull more than a few useful nuggets that made it worth working through to the end.
September 5, 2016
As a professional web developer, I thought I was very savvy about what my tween and teen daughters had to gain and lose in their connections to screen-based technology. I'd had conversations with them and regularly "audited" their devices to see what they were doing there. However, in the first fifty pages of Screenwise, I had already marked half a dozen things I wanted to discuss with my kids and my husband.
As much a book for educators as it is for parents, Screenwise forces adults to see the Internet and all its opportunities as not a distraction from the real world but the new world entirely. It IS where our children will play, work, and connect with their communities. Heitner has done a fantastic job making this an "evergreen" text by focusing on the attitudes and strategies adults should employ rather than on particular apps and social networks. I will be recommending this to clients with kids and to my children's teachers and administrators.
As much a book for educators as it is for parents, Screenwise forces adults to see the Internet and all its opportunities as not a distraction from the real world but the new world entirely. It IS where our children will play, work, and connect with their communities. Heitner has done a fantastic job making this an "evergreen" text by focusing on the attitudes and strategies adults should employ rather than on particular apps and social networks. I will be recommending this to clients with kids and to my children's teachers and administrators.
January 20, 2017
Every parent must be concerned about this issue. Limiting screen time is not enough. This book made me realize that it's more important for us parents to prepare our kids for the digital things rather than restrict them from such things. I also liked the idea to encourage them to create instead of just consume. I'm glad I've read Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives, since boundaries are mentioned multiple times in this book and are increasingly important in the digital world.
March 1, 2019
Positives: Not boring, easily consumed, a few nuggets of good info and things I hadn't thought of before. Negatives: Only a few nuggets? I was hoping for more. There is a lot of common sense solutions here. Some things Heitner seems to be against, but that are things that I find very helpful (for example, linking your account to your child's so that they can't download apps without permission). There are a couple of mentions of things I found icky but which she seems to think are ultimately okay. (That story of the 13yo on Tinder—wha...? No no no no.) She repeats herself a few times throughout, so maybe she doesn't mean for the book to be read from cover to cover, but in pieces, which is not how I read it. It was an okay read. I'm guessing there are better books out there on this subject.
September 8, 2018
The overall feeling of the book is positive and offers many ideas on how to be a media mentor, not a media limiter or media enabler, and encourage digital citizenship so that children's digital footprint can be positive. We have to learn with and from our kids, make it a family matter, not just leave them alone to navigate through the digital world they're growing up in, which I feel a very big issue. It helps people like me who tend to want to be a media "limiter" to see the positive and how to go about creating a healthy tech-balanced life, by being "screenwise". I enjoyed the suggestions of other books to read on related subjects.
October 23, 2017
I appreciate the neutral stance on technology from the book: it gets exhausting to feel the push-pull of pro- and anti-technology when it comes to children (and education); instead, here lies some good conversation on how to better parent (and educate) in a world increasing embracing and changing due to technology.
"Online games are like regular board games. You, as a parent, can approach this idea with judgement or you can see it for what it is, a parallel world. But this world still centers around making connections with other human beings" (60).
"Online games are like regular board games. You, as a parent, can approach this idea with judgement or you can see it for what it is, a parallel world. But this world still centers around making connections with other human beings" (60).
March 30, 2018
I really appreciated the specific advice here as well as the overarching philosophy: technology will be part of our children's lives; we should be mentors, not monitors; this mentorship can improve our relationship; it's still about relationships - online or not; kids need to be taught how to relate online. Nuance matters. It also made me realize there are some incredibly creative apps / ways to use technology out there that we could be exploring more. Overall, I'm tired of thinking about kids and technology, but this was a good book for doing so!
May 27, 2019
Since I am generally a tech skeptic rather than a tech optimist, I appreciated the author's ability to reframe the way our kids interact with technology and to see it in a more positive light. My favorite parts of the book were the anecdotes from families, but I wish there had been more and that the ones that were there had more details. I understand that in many cases the answer is, "It depends," but it would have been helpful to hear how more families are specifically navigating these challenges rather than repeatedly raising the same questions that I have without offering answers.
September 27, 2016
Screenwise, by Devorah Heitner is a smart and engaging exploration of the digital lives of kids, and how parents can help their children learn to navigate this technological world. She teaches us how parents can learn to mentor their kids as they embark on their social media journeys. It's filled with incredibly useful and wise advice, based on real-life examples. It's a book that is a must-read for parents and for educators.
October 25, 2016
Very useful guide for parents about helping your kid navigate the brave new world of digital connections we all seem to be inhabiting nowadays: apps, online gaming, personal smartphones/tablets, etc. It's both up-to-date and unspecific; enough to stay current for the next several years at least, giving good, solid, general advice on these matters. Recommended for all parents who live in a community where kids commonly have access to their own tablets/phones.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews